Original subtitles

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)

Guess what, guys?

You're moving out? Nice.

-I'll help you pack. -I'm not moving out, fool.

Aw.

I found this box under my bed.

Ooh, what is inside?

It's a bunch of cool junk

I've collected on missions over the years.

Ooh! Let's open it up, bro.

ALL: Hat party!

WOMAN: Hats!

Huh. I was wondering what happened to this.

(GROANS)

Finally free from that wretched box.

For your kindness, I shall reward you with immortality...

Boring! What else is in there?

Ooh! Shiny.

I remember that bad boy.

BEAST BOY: We just split Raven into five versions of herself.

(KISSING)

One purple Raven coming up.

-Think fast, mama! -Ha!

(SNORING)

Hey, I wanted some smoochie-smoochie!

No smoochie-smoochies.

This prism is nothing but trouble.

A person is greater than the sum of their parts.

We can't just split each other into the parts we like.

You take the good with the bad.

That's what friendship is.

Then is it wrong for me to like this Silkie the best?

Absolutely.

I feel the shame.

Sure, I'd love to isolate Raven's intensity,

or Cyborg's determination.

(GASPS) You like something about me?

Or Starfire's strength,

or Beast Boy's, uh...

I don't know. What's his best trait?

-Uh... -Does he have one?

Even his good stuff's awful.

-I'm kinda hungry. -Yeah, sure, that.

And if I did isolate your best traits

I'd have the most elite

and focused crime-fighting team on the planet.

And, yes, you'd all be much less annoying,

and, of course, I could lead more efficiently.

In fact, it would be a dream come true.

But would we be the Teen Titans? No.

We would be better!

(BEEPING)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(LOCKS RATTLING)

Uh, what's going on?

Tell me, Cyborg,

have you ever wondered why a gardener prunes a tree?

Nope, but I like me some prunes.

Let's try that again.

Tell me, Cyborg,

why does the farmer separate the wheat from the chaff?

Beats me, but all this food talk is making me hungry.

(GROANING) Never mind.

I'm going to use the prism to divide

you into the five core parts of your personality,

isolate the best and ditch the rest.

-Ready? -No.

Great!

(LAUGHING)

You wanna hear something funny?

No. You're the jokester part of Cyborg.

Well, I've got a joke. Knock, knock.

(LAUGHING) Who's there?

Not you!

So, what's your deal?

Uh, I just wanna veg.

Next!

What is more important in a battle,

strength or strategy?

They're both great!

Ow! You're even louder than regular Cyborg.

Yes, I am, and I love it!

Woo-hoo! I said, "Woo-hoo!"

Oh. You're his enthusiasm, aren't you?

You know it! Boo-yah ska-doo!

-Sir! -Ooh! I like you already.

Question. When entering a hostile situation, what's the first...

Sir, scan the area.

Target hostiles, avoid civilians, destroy.

And we have a winner!

-But I haven't even... -Nobody cares!

-(SNORING) -Sir, the five parts of Beast Boy's personality

seem to be more or less the same, sir!

-'Sup. -Hey.

Beast Boy is a simple creature.

No, we're all completely different, bro.

I'm a little hungrier than these guys.

I'm a little sleepy. Ah, that said, I could eat.

-Yeah, me too. -Totes.

What do you think?

Sir, it is the opinion of this soldier

that they would all be ineffective in a combat scenario.

However, one would be useful as a human shield, sir!

(SCREAMING)

Cannon fodder, good idea. Uh...

-You. -Sweet.

(NEIGHING)

(BURPING AND SNORING)

Let's take the purple one.

I like the way she's looking at me.

Absolutely not.

Aw...

(YELLING)

(BEAST BOY SCREAMING)

-I like the angry one, sir. -Agreed.

(YELLING)

Show me to the field of battle.

This one would make a great hero, sir!

Not bad, but I'd like to speak to the rest.

For Star, I'm looking for someone who can demonstrate commitment...

(CLEARS THROAT) To our team.

Starfires, will you marry me?

Any of you?

-No. -No!

(LAUGHING) No.

-No. -(SPEAKING TAMARANIAN)

(SIGHS)

-Robin? (GIGGLING) -Yes!

(WHISPERING) I once wore the tuna salad as a hat.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

Barbarian Starfire it is.

Look at this beautiful new team.

(ROBIN READING)

Sir, may I drop and give you 20, sir?

Go nuts.

(ROBIN READING)

(DISTORTED) I hate introductions!

Noted.

(ROBIN READING)

(YELLING)

I will bathe in the blood of my enemies.

Love the enthusiasm!

And Beast Boy,

the Human Shield!

What? Ow! (GRUNTING)

-(ALARM BLARING) -Crime alert.

(ALL YELLING)

Sir, awaiting your command, sir!

(WHIMPERING GLEEFULLY)

That's everything I've always wanted.

Titans, go!

Moving to position! Covering fire!

Double Delta formation.

(DISTORTED) You all make me so mad!

(GASPS)

(ROARING)

(BEAST BOY GRUNTING)

(SOBBING) Why do I have to be the Human Shield?

Ow!

Dang, I'm good.

What a team!

Although I do miss the fun-loving Cyborg,

and the sweet Starfire.

Raven always wonderfully enigmatic.

Beast Boy... Was more or less the same.

What have I done?

Oh, that's right.

I just formed the best superhero team ever.

Sorry, Justice League!

Sir, yes, sir!

-(LAUGHING) -I'm dancing.

Watch out.

Sir. Permission to speak freely, sir?

(BEAT BOXING) Permission granted.

Sir. I could watch you dance all night. Sir!

You guys are the best.

In fact, the only way I could create a better team...

Whoa, is if I divided myself into five parts.

New plan!

Robin, what're you doing?

Don't you think you've taken this too far?

Not far enough.

Think of it. Five Robins on one team.

Each with his own strength.

Huh. I wonder what my five core traits are.

Heroic, confident, fearless.

(LAUGHING)

Is handsome a personality trait?

Only one way to find out.

Not five Robins.

(EXCLAIMS)

-Ugh! -(BABBLING)

Oh, no, it's his craziness.

Gotta be perfect. Gotta be perfect. Gotta be perfect.

Oh, no. Perfectionist. He's the worst.

(YELLING) Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect!

I know it was you.

You're the one. Now talk.

Talk!

This must represent his obsessive side.

I'm not obsessive,

I'm detail-oriented.

That's what makes me a great detective.

Talk!

(STAMMERING) They're all against me.

They're all against me. Get away.

Get away, get away, get away, get away!

I'd recognize that paranoia anywhere.

Titans, go! Go!

Why isn't anyone going?

Listen to me!

And the control freak, check.

Yep, I know these guys very well.

We must get the Robins back in the prism.

Never!

Aah!

You'll never combine us now!

(BURPS)

Help us, Silkies.

You are our only hope.

(SPEAKING ALIEN LANGUAGE)

(BURPING)

-(VOMITING) -(GRUNTING)

-(PANTING AND BABBLING) -(SNORING)

(KISSING)

(MACHINE BEEPS)

Hi-yah!

Obey!

(BURPING)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Sorry about that, guys.

I really thought my core personality traits would be cooler.

It's like you said,

"You're greater than the sum of your parts."

We all are.

Not all of us.

Mmm. Hey there.

(CRUSHING SOUND)