All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers - 11x13 - An Incon-wheelie-ent Truth.CAKES.English.HI.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --

LINDA: Oh, I love the flea market.

- You never know what you're gonna find.
- Hopefully not fleas.

You kids looking for
anything in particular?

- Knives.
- A really loud musical

instrument would be nice.

- Hatchet.
- Maybe something of

- the plastic horse variety.
- Nunchucks.

And what about you, Bob?

Well, I'll be looking
for old cast iron pans.

- To use as a weapon?
- For cooking.

But as a weapon, I
guess, if it came to it.

Like if you had to
fend off a Hamburglar?

- Maybe.
- Just be careful, Dad.

Thank you, Tina.

Okay, kids, here's a
couple of bucks each.

- Go nuts.
- (phone vibrating)

Or buy some nuts. Other
people's used nuts.

- Hey, Gayle.
- Linda, is it dangerous

to eat a tangerine with a
carrot? They're both orange.

- It's fine. I've done it many a time.
- Okay, bye.

- (sighs) That was Gayle.
- Did she want to know if it was okay

to combine something
with something else?

Yeah. Orange foods. It's okay, right?

GENE: What are all these small
pictures of baseball players?

They don't look that athletic,
but they are holding bats.

- Is this guy smoking?
- Oh, yeah.

Oh, look at that sweater.
Ooh, look at that rug.

Ooh, look at the painting. Sunset.

Is it a good painting,
Bob? I can't tell.

Me neither. H-How do you
tell if a painting is good?

I don't know. Shapes?

Lin, I just don't know if we need

a steamer trunk full of old TV Guides.

Oh, my God!

LINDA: The Wheelie frickin' Mammoth!

Bob, it's the Wheelie frickin' Mammoth!

- I know.
- It found us!

How did it find us? Why did it find us?

We got rid of it. Are we cursed?

It's not our fault.

The kids completely
stopped playing with it.

BOB: And it was way too
big for our apartment.

LINDA: Way too big.

(strained grunting)

(grunting)

♪ Wooly mammoth... ♪

(grunting)

Aah!

And it's not like we
planned on getting rid

of our kids' huge toy.

- It just happened.
- Yeah. The truck

was just... it was there.

BOB: And the kids were at school.

They didn't play with it anymore.

(both straining)

And we thought they would
just kind of forget about it.

- We were sure they'd forget.
- But then they didn't.

LOUISE: Oh, hey, Mom, Dad,

have you guys seen the
Wheelie Mammoth anywhere?

We want to jump off the
fire escape and land on him.

Um, first of all, don't
jump off the fire escape.

Isn't that what fire escapes are for?

That's what fire escapes are for, Dad.

Yeah, it's safe.

Uh, no. Secondly, uh,
we thought you guys

didn't really play with
Wheelie Mammoth anymore,

so, um, we donated it.

KIDS: You what?!

You got rid of the sixth Belcher?!

- Uh, yeah.
- Months ago.

And, uh, you're only
noticing now, I might add.

How could you? Is your
heart made of stone?

Well, we donated it
to a-a special place

that'll make you guys not mad at us.

Um, somewhere Wheelie
could live a better life.

- To a roller rink.
- Uh, yeah. 'Cause it's got wheels.

The roller rink in town?

Uh, no, no.

- A different town.
- Still kind of mad here, people.

Trying not to lose my cool.

Why would you do that?!

Uh, 'cause these aren't
just, uh, regular kids.

They're, um...

- Orphans!
- Yup.

They're orphans. Yup.

Sad little orphans,
with soot-covered faces,

and the only joy in their lives
is getting out on the

- rink with that mammoth.
- GENE: Hmm.

Yeah,
and we've been wanting to tell you guys,

but we were waiting for...

A-A signed thank-you
card from all the orphans.

I don't know what's taking them so long.

Uh, maybe they're
busy with orphan stuff.

Scrubbing floors and stairs...

Hiding in laundry baskets,
singing about tomorrow.

Huh. And you guys are
for real right now?

- Promise.
- Absolutely.

Well, I guess Wheelie is
probably having a better life

at that rink than it was here.

And doing more good.
It tripped me a lot.

Like, a lot.

If you'll excuse me,
I'm going to my room

to write a tribute song about Wheelie.

I'm thinking of calling it
"Rollin' Down the River,"

if that's not taken.

Or "Dream On," if it is.

LINDA: And now the bastard's here.

I'm freaking out. What do we do?

Do we-do we tell the kids the truth

about how we didn't tell
them the truth before?

Are you nuts? They'd never
look at us the same way again.

It'll be all right... My
parents lied to me and Gayle

- all the time.
- Uh-huh.

But Gayle turned out to be Gayle.

We cannot let the kids see this.

Okay, let's think.
Wh-What are out options?

- Besides telling the truth?
- Oh, yeah, besides that.

This palomino is now a
pal-o'-mine-o. (chuckles)

Hey, guys, I'm gonna go
show Mom and Dad my new horse

and probably say that palomino/
pal-o'-mine-o thing again

- to them again.
- Yeah, you definitely should.

You're gonna love my room.

It smells pretty okay most of the time.

You're used to a barn, so
you should be fine with it.

Okay, the kids haven't
seen it, so we're fine.

We just need to gather them up, go home

before they... Oh, my
God, there's Tina!

Oh, crap, oh, crap, oh, crap!

You are my mane man. Heh.

There's more where that came from.

No, no, no. She's gonna
see the Wheelie Mammoth.

- (grunts)
- Oh, my baby!

Look how big you're getting. (grunts)

But Mama can still carry you.

(straining): Look at
me go. Look at me stand.

Very impressive, Mom,
but... can you put me down?

Wasn't that fun?

Uh, yup. Hey, did I hear you
and Dad scream a second ago?

Oh, hey, I-I just came over here to...

- to see you.
- Oh, maybe you heard us, um, yell,

because we were shocked
at the price of an old CD.

Three dollars? For music?

"No, thank you, Dave Matthews,"

is what we said, loudly.

Oh, hey, do you like this horse I got?

This palomino is now a
pal-o'-mine-o. (quiet chuckle)

Great, great, great. Uh, hey, let's find

- your brother and sister.
- Yeah, let's go this way.

Come on, Tina.

Hey, kids, I know we
haven't been here long,

but, uh, what do you
say we get on home, huh?

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

Did you know all this
stuff is used? It's gross.

We should leave. Now. Out that far exit.

Is that even where we came in?

Let's say it is.

But I've spent neither
of my two dollars.

And I've only spent $1.50.
And got the greatest thing

in the world, 'cause this palomino is...

Uh, let's go talk about
it in the car, right?

- Come on, let's go, let's go.
- Mom, what's going on?

You guys are acting weirder than usual.

We came all this way for dumb stuff,

and we've barely
looked at anything dumb.

Yeah, I got my eyes
on a rusty screwdriver

and some of those baseball
guys, but I don't know

- what else is out there.
- I've still got 50 cents.

And 50 cents at the flea market
is like a thousand dollars

- at an inside store.
- LOUISE: Uh...

Ooh, Louise, switchblades!
Look! Stabby stabby.

Yes, please.

Yeah, go play with the knives, kids.

Okay, they're not going
along with the leaving plan,

so we got to sneak over
and buy the Wheelie Mammoth,

ditch it here someplace
where the kids can't see it,

- and then we're in the clear.
- Seriously?

- You got a better idea?
- (sighs) No.

So I'll keep the kids busy.

You go and take care of the
Wheelie Mammoth, capisce?

- Got it.
- I need to hear you say "capisce."

- Why?
- Just say it.

- (sighs) Fine. Capisce.
- There you go.

Hey, uh, that big, uh, stuffed animal

looks sort of interesting, I-I guess.

- (chuckles softly)
- Um, well,

- what are you asking for it?
- A hundred.

(high-pitched): Hundred dollars?
I-I mean, uh, a hundred, huh?

Yeah, it's pretty special.

Big, majestic creature
wearing those roller skates.

Imagine a time when these things
used to roam the land. Man!

I'm hardly interested in it at all.

I'm over here, looking at this,
uh, Remains of the Day poster.

I'm-I'm a huge Anthony Hopkins fan.

Or A-Hop, as I call him.

LOUISE: I've been wondering
if my room has the right amount

of swords in it... 'cause
right now it's at zero,

and I feel like that's low.

Um, maybe we should stay
in the pocket knife family.

Does it seem like Mom and
Dad are acting weird to you?

Ooh, you think someone's gonna propose?

(phone vibrates)

- (whispers): Hello.
- Linda, did you know

you could wear a turtleneck as pants?

I don't have time for
this right now, Gayle.

You just need a safety
pin for the middle.

Mom's on the phone, Mom's off the phone,

Mom and Dad are
whispering to each other,

Mom's picking people up
and carrying them around.

- Some of us.
- Lucky.

Do you think maybe Mom and
Dad came to the flea market

to do something weird?

- Like this is a cover?
- Like spy stuff?

- Or drug stuff?
- (gasps) Are they drug spies?

Oh, my God, Mom and Dad are drug spies.

- That's hot.
- You think Mom and Dad

- LINDA: Uh-huh. Okay.
- Are flea market drug spies?

- It just makes sense.
- Mom's the brains.

- Right.
- Dad's the body.

No. It's way too cool for them.
But something is up.

Look at her on that
phone all secret-like.

- Oh, Gayle, I got to go.
- No...

- Bob, talk to me.
- It's so expensive, Lin.

She wants a hundred dollars.

You want me to come
over there and negotiate?

'Cause I'm a much better
negotiator than you.

That's not true. We're both bad.

Well, I'm less bad. Look, I got to go.

Make it happen. I love you.

I love you, too. You're
worse at negotiating.

Well, that was a normal
conversation. Hi, kids.

So normal of you to say that.

Hi again. Uh, I'd like
to formally offer you,

uh, ten dollars in cash
for the stuffed animal.

And I'm sorry to say, this
offer is time sensitive,

because I have to... fly
to a business meeting.

(whistles) You're really good at this.

Uh, I guess I could do $90.

(sighs): Look, I'm not
flying to a business meeting.

- You're not?
- No, and I don't have a lot of money.

We own a restaurant that
not many people eat at.

But I could give you
free burgers instead,

- if you eat burgers.
- Are they good burgers?

I mean, I-I do try really hard.

Tell you what, how about you give me...

ten bucks now and, uh, 30
free burgers down the road.

Wait. 30 burgers is way more than $90.

Eh, yes and no. You own a restaurant.

You understand hard
costs versus soft costs.

- I don't, actually.
- Fixed costs versus variable costs.

Mm-mm, don't recognize those words.

Trust me, this works for both of us.

Slightly more for me. But
you're getting a great deal.

- ♪
- If you think about it,

an accordion is just burping with notes.

Sounds so good, sweetie.

Okay, you keep looking around,
in this area, and don't go

- to a different area.
- Sure.

- How'd it go?
- I got it.

You did? You made the deal?

Please tell me you didn't
pay a hundred dollars, Bob.

All right, enough of this.
Let's go listen in on that sneaky pants.

Okay, I really don't know
how much I paid for it.

There's really no way to know.

But I've got it, and now
I've got to get rid of it.

Um, do the kids suspect anything?

I think we're good. As far as they know,

that mammoth is still
rolling on that rink,

- up to his butt in orphans.
- "That mammoth"?

Did she just say "that mammoth,"

- as in Wheelie Mammoth?
- I think she did.

So they didn't donate Wheelie to
the orphans at the roller rink.

Our parents are lying liars.

How do they sleep at
night... Lying down?

- On their lies?
- I knew there was something fishy

about that donation stuff.

I just couldn't put my
finger on what it was

about that orphan roller
rink story that didn't add up.

I think Mom and Dad need to be punished.

Within the maximum recommended
sentence of the law,

- Sword?
- Worse. We mess with them.

GENE: Mm?

(straining)

(pants)

(straining)

_

GENE: Oh, I'd wear a
kimono all the time.

There are pockets in the sleeves.

I can put chicken wings
in here, dip in here...

- Mm-hmm.
- (panting): Oh, hey, guys.

- There you are.
- You're pretty sweaty.

Oh, yeah. Someone was,
um... selling a treadmill.

So, I think I've seen enough dumb stuff.

- Should we get going?
- Um, sure. Yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, I could go home now, I suppose.
- Goodbye, kimono.

(whispers): Wait for me.

Don't sell it to Steven Tyler!

Except I actually don't feel like

going home just yet. Do you guys?

- Uh-uh.
- No, I don't feel like going home.

Y-You don't?

We don't. I just bought this little guy,

and I thought to myself,

You know who would
appreciate this more than me?

- Mm, who?
- The orphans at that roller rink

where you guys donated
the Wheelie Mammoth.

- Uh-huh-huh...
- Okay...

So I would like to go there.

And we can also say hi
to our old pal, Wheelie.

That is where he is, right?

Yeah! Of course that's
where he is, silly.

He's so there.

Good! Well, I hope he's not too busy

helping orphans learn
to skate to say hi.

So shall we go to that
roller rink right now?

Uh, I don't see why not.

Uh, yeah, we could do that.

Uh-huh. Yep.

Great, I love going to
places where things are.

- It's the best.
- Crap.

- Okay, so not ideal.
- Yeah, Louise clearly knows.

Nah-uh. She only thinks she knows,

because she doesn't know she knows.

Because she doesn't know, you know?

Right. Also, that was a
really dumb lie we made up.

Well, it sounded good at the time.

I always wanted to help orphans.

(sighs) Can't we just
tell them the truth?

No. Never. What we got to do
is turn this lie into a truth.

- Then it's not a lie anymore.
- That doesn't sound right.

How about this: you drive the kids

to that roller rink in Bog Harbor.

You know the one, on route 16.

But drive very slowly.

The Wheelie Mammoth and
I get a ride with Gayle.

- Gayle?
- Yeah, she's got a car.

She can take a break from
eating tangerines and carrots.

We'll beat you guys there,
get everything in place,

and-and we'll get out.

Okay, where'd you hide the thing?

Uh, by a tree over there.

Oh, God, with a note.
Uh, you better hurry.

- Also this is the worst plan.
- Great plan.

So Mom's staying to go to the bathroom

at the porta-potty
because she likes it?

- She loves it.
- And we're not waiting for her?

No way. I mean, this
is her special time.

So we'll swing by after
we're done at the rink

and see if she's finished.

This all makes sense, Dad.

Just a couple more
questions about the...

Oh, my God, I love this
song. I want to sing.

We should all sing.

♪ Let's talk about sex, baby ♪

♪ Let's talk about you and me. ♪

Gayle! Over here! Gayle!

I came as fast as I could.

I didn't even change...
Look, turtle pants.

LOUISE: So, Dad, when you donated

Wheelie to the roller rink,
did they give you a receipt?

You know, something for your records?

Ah, I'd love to see it sometime.

Or would you rather discuss the orphans?

And their therapeutic roller skating?

Uh... (sing-songy):
who wants ice cream?

- Yay!
- Yay!

Gayle, you got to step on it.

I'll tell you what, if you
get a ticket, I'll pay for it.

You will? That's fun.

I like going fast.

Should I keep my eyes open?

Yes, keep your eyes open!

I can't believe you let
us get a second cone.

The line was so long.

But you just wanted to
get right back in there.

And then you wanted
to taste every flavor.

And then you counted out
your money so carefully.

It's almost like you're not in a
hurry to get to the roller rink.

What? Come on.

- Oh, boy.
- What do you mean "oh boy"?

Oh, boy... Uh, look at those trees off

to the right... they look just
like the trees in that movie.

I mean, I guess.

What movie am I thinking of?

You're gonna think of it before I do.

(muffled): Hi, Bob, it's me, Gayle!

But keep looking that way.

Keep looking at the trees
and tell me what movie.

- Amadeus?
- No, that's not it.

What is it? Oh, God, keep looking.

LINDA: Go, go, go! Park around back!

- Park around back!
- GAYLE: Okay, okay.

(both grunting)

Manager! Manager! Is
there a manager here?!

Manager!

I'm the manager. Is everything okay?

Ooh. Who's this big furry fella?

Listen, my husband and kids
are gonna be here any minute,

and I need you to pretend
like this huge Wheelie Mammoth

has been here for months
because we donated it to you.

And it helps orphans learn to skate.

And my husband and I are great parents.

Okay, sure. No problem.

Really? You'd do that?

Yeah, I've been stuck in a lie

with my kids before.

I told them if you swallow gum,

it stays in your
stomach for seven years.

I had to get a radiologist

to make a fake X-ray of a kid

with a lot of gum in their stomach.

Great, so you get it.

Okay, so can you just kind of

put it out there on the
rink, and tell these kids

they can push it around or something?

And if they could shout, "This
thing is really teaching me

- how to skate," that would be great.
- I don't see why not.

And, uh, maybe rub some
soot on the kids' faces?

Too far, too far.
Never mind, never mind.

Uh, thank you so much.

Oh, and I wasn't here or her.

It's gonna be hard to forget this.

But you do it.

LOUISE: Well, here we are.

I'm sure we'll see the
Wheelie Mammoth any minute now.

I-I'm, uh, sure we-we will.

Huh.

And-and there's Wheelie Mammoth! Ha-ha!

I mean, uh, there he is, uh, obviously.

- Would you look at that?
- Huh.

Hi, do you need to rent skates?

No, uh, no, we, uh, just came

to see that woolly mammoth.

Oh, yes! Thank you so
much for donating him.

Really? My mom and dad
really did donate him here?

They sure did.

And are the orphans enjoying him?

The orphans just adore him.

Oh, my God. Wheelie really
is teaching kids how to skate.

- GENE: Barely.
- LINDA: I mean, it's not a big deal

if you think about it.
Sometimes parents got

to tell little fibs to their
little kids, 'cause they're

too little to hear the truth, you know?

Uh-huh. Do you think my car likes me?

It's like Mom and Dad and
your immortal goldfish.

Like how they would
replace your goldfish

every time it died.

- What?
- I mean, uh, nothing.

Let's, uh, talk about
your car liking you.

I think it does.

My beloved goldfish
lived 18 years with me

before getting sent to
the National Aquarium

to be studied and to relax.

Uh, right, yeah. No, no, I know.
Forget I said anything.

Are you telling me Mom
and Dad lied to me?!

Are you telling me
Goldylicious isn't immortal

and doesn't see the birthday
cards I send her every year?

What? No, no, come on.

I cannot believe this.

Gayle! Gayle, where are you going?

I will not let you

pull a Goldylicious on your kids.

Gayle, no! (grunting)

Oh, come on!

Oh. Oh, my foot. Oh, my butt! Ow! Oh...

You're a hero and you're
a family of heroes.

- Keep it up.
- Well, I'll be.

- How about that.
- Dad, I don't know what to say.

We didn't think you and
Mom were telling the truth.

Sorry?

No, no, no, no, no! No!

Hey, Aunt Gayle. What
are you doing here?

Linda lied!

- To your faces!
- BOB: Mm-mmm.

- Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm, mm-mmm...
- We took the Wheelie Mammoth

here today from the flea market.

And I drove over 90 miles per hour

with my eyes open.

Ha! I knew it! Well,
I take back that sorry.

- Is that true, Dad?
- Uh... who wants ice cream?

- Me!
- Gene!

I mean, I'm so mad at you right now

I could eat ice cream or ribs!

It feels weird to say this,
but, Aunt Gayle, keep talking.

- Tell us everything.
- Okay, there I was...

LINDA: Don't listen to Gayle!

She's just pranking you!

- It's, it's a fun prank.
- Oh really, Mom?

Then why are you here?
Are you part of the prank?

Yeah! Yeah. I ran into
Gayle at the porta-potty

at the flea market and
we decided to come here

and prank you guys. Isn't that funny?

So your prank is for Aunt Gayle

to show up and tell us you lied to us?

- Yeah.
- I don't know what to believe.

How dare you.

You're just like Mom and Dad.

You're a liar and you're
married and you had kids.

Lin, maybe we just... you know?

- What?
- You know?

(chuckles) You mea-you
mean keep having fun

with this really great prank
that's going really well?

- (chuckles weakly)
- I am so disappointed in you.

Were those even movie trees, Dad?

We will discuss your
punishment when we get home.

There will be spanking. On both cheeks.

You tell 'em, kids!

Ugh. Oh, fine. I'm sorry.

It all happened so fast
over several months.

And several hours today.

- And it was mostly your mom's idea.
- Thanks, Bob.

Seriously though, I am sorry, too.

I was happy to see it go.

But, I guess, as a
dad, I should've known

it's wrong to steal toys from children.

Most of the time. It's not
stealing if it's at the park

and you give it to your cat, right?

Oh, we'll go get the mammoth.

And try to all fit in the
apartment with it, I guess.

Hi. Oh, you guys still here?

You want to rent skates?

Uh, sorry, uh, we just

have to get the mammoth
and bring it home.

Oh, uh, that's not gonna work for me.

What do you mean?

We did the big lie and
we made the lie real.

And it's great. This
thing's our mascot now.

I already updated the website.

- You did?
- Yeah, check it out.

Oh, it looks good.
Ooh, I like that design.

This is a game changer.

In the rink business,
you get a break like this

once in a lifetime. I mean, that
thing probably costs a fortune.

Probably. But, you know, soft cost.

Never mind. Listen, our
kids are really mad at us,

and the only way to try and make
it right is to take this home.

What about the orphans?

They're not orphans. We made that up.

I bet at least a couple of them are.

This magical guy is staying right here.

Please, sir, um, don't...
(laughs) Don't do this.

So much of my life I let
slip through my fingers.

Not this time.

We need this mammoth!

Linda, keep pulling.
He's got no traction.

He's on wheels.

Orphans, attack!

Please, I think you need
a day off or something.

Bob, we can take this guy.

We can take him! I'm gonna bite him!

Aah! Don't bite me!

Hey! We're whipping him around.

Keep whipping, Bob! Keep whipping!

Aah! Aah!

Hey, hey, hey! Stop! Stop!

Look, we've had a little talk.
We want to leave Wheelie here.

- Huh?
- You do?

We want to make the lie real.

We don't like how it
got here, but it seems

- like the right home for him.
- He'll be happy here.

Lot of space, good vibes, cool jams.

And he's a sucker for a disco ball.

- I mean, who isn't?
- Uh, I'm not.

It's a bunch of broken
glass spinning around.

Ugh, terrifying. It could kill us all.

Kids, that's so nice of you. So mature.

Yeah, I'm impressed.

You know, we-we thought you
wouldn't be able to handle

having to give away
a huge stuffed animal

that didn't fit in any room.

But we should have been honest with you

and trusted that you could handle it.

We got more handles
than a grocery bag, baby.

So I'm gonna let go of this,
and no one's gonna take it?

- And no one's gonna bite me?
- Aw, yeah.

Sorry I said I was gonna bite you.

I wasn't gonna do that.
I've never bitten anybody.

ALL: That's a lie.

We call her piranha mama.
She bit a guy at the grocery store.

W-We're still not
allowed to go to that one.

- Well, I'm not, you are.
- Hey, one last skate

with Wheelie before we go?

(grunting)

I'm not good at this at all!

I'm usually so graceful!

- I-I think this is how I die.
- I can only go backwards.

Tell me if there's anyone there.
Tell me if there's anyone there!

Whoa! I-I don't want Wheelie
to remember us this way.

Listen, if you ever want to bust
out of here, no questions asked,

you call me, okay? And, hey,

- keep it wheel.
- Yeah, you just slip them on.

You can pee right through the neck hole.

It's so convenient.

♪ He's a funky beast ♪

♪ From another time ♪

♪ With moves and grooves ♪

♪ That'll blow your mind ♪

♪ Wheelie ♪

♪ Wheelie Mammoth ♪

♪ Wheelie, Wheelie
Mammoth, Wheelie Mammoth ♪

♪ Wheelie Mammoth,
Wheelie, Wheelie Mammoth ♪

♪ Watchin' him roll
all around the floor ♪

♪ It makes you wanna move
like you're pre-historic ♪

♪ Wheelie ♪

♪ Wheelie Mammoth ♪

♪ Wheelie, Wheelie
Mammoth, Wheelie Mammoth ♪

♪ Wheelie Mammoth ♪

♪ Wheelie, Wheelie Mammoth. ♪

- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
-- for www.addic7ed.com --