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1
00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:27,068
GIRL #1: ( giggles )
You're such a hunk.
2
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:30,613
GIRL #2: Yeah,
you're so buffed, it's scary.
3
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:33,324
What are you doing
tonight, Jerry?
4
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,371
GIRL #1: We feel weak
just being near you.
5
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:39,831
GIRL #2: Oh, Jerry.
6
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,394
We'll wait for you
in the hot tub.
7
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,536
( smooth jazz playing )
8
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:32,425
Hey, don't block
my sun, babe.
9
00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:38,098
Talk to me.
10
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,974
Take off your headphone.
11
00:01:40,016 --> 00:01:42,310
Hmm.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
12
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:49,109
You want me, babe?
13
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,360
Mm-hmm.
14
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,946
Fight for me.
15
00:01:56,491 --> 00:01:59,244
Oh, I love it.
Yeah. Yeah.
16
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,538
Oh, don't stop.
Oh, yeah, I love it.
17
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,123
Oh.
18
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:05,875
Ugh! Yuck.
19
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,259
Holy...
20
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:18,513
This is the girl of my dreams,
and the job of my dreams!
21
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,224
Camp Chipmunk, here I come!
22
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,685
( pop music plays )
23
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,856
( tires screeching )
24
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,781
( children yelling
and screaming )
25
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,834
My bag!
26
00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,961
( cheering and applause )
27
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,015
( mocking laughter )
28
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,314
9.2 average,
29
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,441
very impressive,
very Olympic.
30
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:14,027
Thanks, dude.
31
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,613
Thanks a lot.
32
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,744
Name is Cody.
Sorry about the bag.
33
00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:23,328
Hey, it's okay.
34
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,331
I needed my pants
pressed anyway, right?
35
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,540
Well, all right.
36
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:33,963
Oh! Oh.
37
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,007
( yelling )
38
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,017
( in Scottish accent )
Corporal, I ain't got the power.
39
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:47,936
She's breaking up, man.
40
00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,313
Jim, she's dead, Jim.
41
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,944
Submitted for your approval.
42
00:03:55,985 --> 00:04:01,658
A wayward bus,
stranded, abandoned,
43
00:04:01,699 --> 00:04:04,702
the next stop,
the tow away, son.
44
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:06,537
- Move it.
- We ain't got all day.
45
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:08,957
- Come on.
- ( yelling )
46
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,418
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
okay, okay, hold on.
47
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,170
Hey, I'm gonna distract them.
48
00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,547
- Good.
- Hey, kids, kids, kids.
49
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,383
Kids, I'm Jerry Riviera.
50
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,884
I'm your new summer buddy.
51
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,719
I'm gonna show all you guys
the professional,
52
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,680
no-nonsense way to party down.
53
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,598
Let me hear you sing, Kumbaya!
54
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,934
♪ Kumbaya, my Lord ♪
55
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,019
Come on sing, sing!
56
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:32,397
Rough crowd.
57
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:36,067
Hey, don't worry,
I can handle you guys.
58
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,777
I've worked Vegas.
59
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,946
And I'm a new counselor
this year.
60
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,614
It's true, and, um,
61
00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:43,574
why doesn't everyone
make me feel real welcome
62
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,911
with a big Camp Chipmunk
cheer, come on.
63
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:55,712
( engine starts )
64
00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:00,425
( kids cheering )
65
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:29,162
Well, does that outfit
come with a piece?
66
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,330
Huh?
67
00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:33,541
A rod, you know,
a .38 Special?
68
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,461
What's it to you, punk?
69
00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,132
Okay.
All right, all right.
70
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:44,260
So we got a kid
with some personality here.
71
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,972
Go ahead,
make my bus ride, punk.
72
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,477
Armed and dangerous.
73
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,187
Jerry Riviera.
74
00:05:54,228 --> 00:05:55,229
D.A.
75
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,857
D.A., cool, very cool.
76
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,068
So did your parents decide
and send you to this camp?
77
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,861
Nah. I wanted to come.
78
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,572
Well, it's my first time.
79
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,366
Hey, well, you know,
we'll have to hang out.
80
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,450
All right.
81
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,077
All right, cool.
82
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,251
It's tasty unit.
83
00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:18,711
Yeah.
84
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,255
That's number one of camp.
85
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,883
How to pick up girls.
Watch.
86
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,437
So what's a gorgeous girl
like you
87
00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:38,398
doing in a camp like this?
88
00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,233
- Hi, my name is Dyanne.
- Hi.
89
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,818
I'm from Eureka, California
90
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:44,612
and it's a real big pleasure
to meet you.
91
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:48,241
So what fraternity are you in?
92
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,283
Huh?
93
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,743
Well, what's your major?
94
00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:52,912
I mean, I'm studying anthro.
95
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,415
- Anthro?
- Anthropology.
96
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,668
You know the study of man
after he become erect and all.
97
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,633
So are those real?
98
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:07,844
Oh, God, yes.
99
00:07:07,885 --> 00:07:10,096
Why?
You thought I had them done?
100
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,103
Um, I meant these.
101
00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:19,856
Yeah, they are real too.
102
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,149
Well, you can tell
by putting them
103
00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:22,316
in between your teeth.
104
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:23,317
Oh, really?
105
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,569
Yeah.
106
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:40,877
Oh, I'm really sorry.
107
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:43,087
Oh, shit.
Tad's gonna kill me.
108
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,881
Well, who's Tad?
109
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,382
Tad?
110
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,050
He's my boyfriend.
111
00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,636
He got these for me
after I got real sick once.
112
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,054
You had mono?
113
00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:54,390
No, I lost my virginity.
114
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:57,977
Oh, you guys still real close?
115
00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,312
Yes.
116
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,818
Oh, real close.
117
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,903
Hi.
118
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,627
( laughing )
119
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:25,129
Don Juan of the '80s.
120
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,797
Oh, it's nothing.
121
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,716
You and me, man,
we're gonna get crazy.
122
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,511
Party hard, take no prisoners.
123
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,055
- Kumbaya.
- All right.
124
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:45,107
Uh, Jerry Riviera
to the courtesy desk, please.
125
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,192
Jerry Riviera.
126
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,360
Front desk, babe.
127
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,116
Yo, Cody, what's up?
128
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:56,661
Jer, this is your first time
as camp counselor, right?
129
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,663
- Yeah.
- Well, I got one,
130
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:00,581
one little point for you,
all right?
131
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,042
( indistinct )
...take this.
132
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,710
JERRY: I'm not into drugs.
133
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:06,212
CODY: It's all right, man.
134
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,381
JERRY: Thanks.
135
00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:10,883
Cody, how did you get this job?
136
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,844
Oh, that's simple.
My old man owns the camp.
137
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,400
CODY: Ramming speed.
138
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:33,322
( growls )
139
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,075
( tires screech )
140
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,994
Argh!
141
00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,415
All right!
142
00:09:42,456 --> 00:09:45,585
All you new campers, counselors,
143
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:46,919
out of the bus!
144
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:49,797
Let's go double time,
hustle it up.
145
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:53,426
Yo, Rambo, chill out,
you old bird head, you.
146
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:56,012
Let's go, move it out here.
Get them out here.
147
00:09:56,053 --> 00:09:58,222
Oh, the man can drive
somebody to drink.
148
00:09:58,264 --> 00:09:59,849
I think I will.
149
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:05,187
I said out!
150
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:09,150
Come on!
151
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,405
Party Camp.
152
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,699
Let the good times roll.
153
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:25,249
( whistle blowing )
154
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:28,919
Camp Chipmunk,
we're the best.
155
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,631
Still isn't good enough.
156
00:10:31,672 --> 00:10:34,508
Oh, you're gonna have
one a hell of a good time
157
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:36,427
here with us this summer.
158
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,803
If you can survive.
159
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,722
Yeah, survive this bullshit.
160
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:42,141
( laughter )
161
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,184
Shh.
162
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:47,480
Thank you, Tad.
163
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:51,359
We are gonna teach you
athletic competition,
164
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,736
teamwork, discipline,
165
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,655
the key ingredients
166
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,240
to success later in life.
167
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:01,327
Excuse me.
168
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,663
Yeah?
169
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,164
Can I help you?
170
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,084
Oh, not unless you want
to light it for me.
171
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,838
Maybe you'd like
to tell the class
172
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,840
where the hell
you think you're going.
173
00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:17,593
Okay. Um...
174
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,388
Class, I was gonna
go grab a smoke.
175
00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,099
Maybe pound some brews
at the pub. Anyone want to go?
176
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,475
Huh?
177
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,851
Sit down!
178
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:28,604
What kind of a camp
do you think
179
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,106
we're running here, mister?
180
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:34,610
No smoking,
drinking, gambling.
181
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,529
Then how do you party?
182
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,406
No party.
183
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:42,201
We are here to train sound
minds and bodies,
184
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,620
to make strong
American men and women.
185
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:47,039
So they can go out there,
serve their country,
186
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:49,291
pay taxes and die.
187
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,129
The word party
is not in our vocabulary.
188
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,047
How about the words
moist towelette?
189
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,928
Have a cat?
190
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,346
No thanks.
Already had one.
191
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:14,191
Tad, get these recruits
outfitted, then move them out
192
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,444
to the amphitheater
for howdy day.
193
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:20,531
( laughing
and chattering )
194
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,870
Thank you,
Ramone, thank you.
195
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:28,873
Quiet down, everybody.
196
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,917
Quiet down, everybody.
197
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,587
Next Jerry Riviera.
198
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:45,639
A student of astrobiology,
199
00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,057
Jerry graduated
from Princeton
200
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,851
where he was a close
201
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,479
and intimate friend
of Brooke Shields.
202
00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:58,611
JERRY: Yeah, Brooke was
my woman, in my dreams.
203
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:02,114
God, this lady really
ate up that résumé BS.
204
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,908
And a Rhodes scholar.
205
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,118
( cheering and applause )
206
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:13,209
Tad Whitneyworth!
207
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,639
Tad is a longtime counselor
in this neck of the woods.
208
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,309
TAD: Yeah, I'm looking
pretty steadily up here.
209
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:33,437
Chicks are
digging me, yeah.
210
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,564
...52 pick up, sacks...
211
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:38,734
TAD: Hey, what are those
girls looking at?
212
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,820
Are they laughing at me?
213
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,988
Oh, I bet you
my fly is down.
214
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,323
I can't look.
215
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,492
I'm sure I zipped it.
216
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:49,119
Maybe I didn't
shake Pedro.
217
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,455
Maybe I've got
B.O. stains, maybe--
218
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,917
Maybe one day Tad might
run Camp Chipmunk.
219
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,303
Heather Morris!
220
00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:11,559
JERRY:: Oh, my God.
221
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,936
My dream girl lives.
222
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:21,485
We're particularly proud
of Heather, our camp lifeguard,
223
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:27,116
winner of three Junior AAU
National Swimming Championships.
224
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,626
HEATHER: He's kind of cute.
225
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,336
( scoffs )
Nice shorts.
226
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:42,381
Hmm, I wonder
what he's like.
227
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,884
I'd like to meet
just one nice, normal guy
228
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:48,762
this summer.
A little romance.
229
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,223
He's probably a jerk
just like the rest of them.
230
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,228
He is a jerk.
231
00:14:56,270 --> 00:15:00,691
And she is a certified
advanced aerobics instructor
232
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,152
for all you girls.
233
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:21,170
( applause stops )
234
00:15:21,962 --> 00:15:24,381
Dyanne Stein.
235
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,770
Even though Dyanne comes
to us with not
236
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:40,522
a long and impressive resume
like some of the girls,
237
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:44,360
Tad assures us that
she's got some swell qualities
238
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,570
that many have known
to come and love.
239
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:49,865
She's perky,
she's innocently wide-eyed,
240
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:54,453
she's coy at times, and then,
surprise! She's crafty.
241
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:57,790
Ah, there isn't too much
left to say about Dyanne.
242
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,166
Oh, here's something.
243
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,794
She's never had
any incurable diseases.
244
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:05,673
And no scars or rug burns.
245
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:21,397
Let's give a big hello
to our new nurse, Brenda.
246
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:36,912
Campers, you will come
to me with any boils,
247
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,999
bruises or strange sores
248
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,750
you incur here at camp.
249
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:48,590
MRS. BEADLE:
Thank you, Nurse Brenda.
250
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:03,355
We've got plenty of exciting
events scheduled for you,
251
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:06,942
Olympic field day,
the dance under the stars,
252
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,612
and the big Chipmunk
Challenge relay!
253
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,412
Campers, have a fabulous
summer experience,
254
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,497
and always remember,
it's not important
255
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:25,127
how you play the game,
but ultimately who wins.
256
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,673
Have a good week.
257
00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:48,150
Okay, I'll take the campers
assigned to the Falcons cabin.
258
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,612
That leaves Jerry Riviera.
259
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:57,659
That leaves you with the kids
in the Squirrels cabin.
260
00:17:58,952 --> 00:17:59,912
Where are my Squirrels?
261
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,170
Good luck.
262
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,505
Thanks, Tod.
263
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:13,342
It's Tad.
264
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,804
Hey, it's Jerry's kids.
265
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:19,098
Yeah, that's
a good name for us.
266
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:20,599
Hey, come on, Ned-man,
267
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,934
we're gonna have
a good time here.
268
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,730
Those Squirrels
are a bunch of weasels.
269
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,441
We're gonna destroy them.
270
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:35,114
Hey, come on, guys,
we got to pull together.
271
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:39,493
We have to be a team,
like, uh, the four horsemen...
272
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,662
Mousketeers,
like the Three Stooges.
273
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,373
( imitating Three Stooges )
Certainly.
274
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,667
Yeah, that's it.
275
00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:59,138
TAD: I can't wait
for the camp meeting.
276
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:00,848
We're gonna waste
those dorks.
277
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,857
Wow, foosball.
278
00:19:09,898 --> 00:19:11,567
This is rad, Tad.
279
00:19:11,608 --> 00:19:13,902
All right, guys, bunk up.
280
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,867
All right, Squirrels,
281
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,994
here we are.
282
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,287
This is great.
283
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,335
Umunh! Uh!
284
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:33,881
They better
get that fixed.
285
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,008
Far out.
286
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:37,384
File in.
287
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,262
Okay, my little,
Squirrels, here we are.
288
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,098
Home away from...
289
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,516
home.
290
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,521
- Grab a place.
- We were robbed!
291
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,274
Glad you're here. Cool.
292
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,443
This place is a dump.
293
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:01,825
Oh.
294
00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:17,758
Well, these are
my Squirrels.
295
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:20,427
Good morning, campers.
Today's activities include
296
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:24,389
aerobics, rifle range,
horseback riding,
297
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:26,892
rugby, and the trampoline
competition.
298
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,144
- ( yelling )
- Also for your safety,
299
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,729
no running on camp grounds.
300
00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,941
Welcome to the one hour,
high intensity class
301
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:34,942
for those girls that--
302
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:36,235
One hour?
303
00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:38,820
BOTH: High intensity?
304
00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:39,655
Yeah.
305
00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,573
And sweat in this outfit?
306
00:20:41,615 --> 00:20:45,702
This sucks. $100.
I'm out of here.
307
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,913
- We're gone.
- Let's bail.
308
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,957
Come on, let's go.
One hour.
309
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,877
( sighs )
310
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:57,839
( dance music plays )
311
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:59,091
To the right.
312
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,387
♪ Don't wanna grow up ♪
313
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,723
♪ Havin' too much fun ♪
314
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,394
♪ I'm doing what I want to ♪
315
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:14,398
♪ Answer to no one ♪
316
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,442
♪ Left all my teachers ♪
317
00:21:18,318 --> 00:21:21,488
♪ Back where they belong ♪
318
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,698
♪ No homework to do ♪
319
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:24,074
♪ I'm out of school ♪
320
00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,284
Fore!
321
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:28,370
♪ Time to make my move ♪
322
00:21:29,246 --> 00:21:32,165
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
323
00:21:32,207 --> 00:21:34,835
♪ Where getting loose is cool ♪
324
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:35,794
Come on, boy.
325
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:39,214
♪ I'm going to party down ♪
326
00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:42,551
♪ I'm breaking all the rules ♪
327
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:44,428
♪ Forget about your parents ♪
328
00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:47,222
That's a very nice shot.
329
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:50,434
( machine gun shots )
330
00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:53,312
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
331
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:57,316
♪ Getting loose is cool ♪
332
00:21:57,357 --> 00:22:00,319
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
333
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,488
♪ Breakin' all the rules ♪
334
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,574
♪ Forget about your parents ♪
335
00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:07,117
♪ Now that you can ♪
336
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,994
♪ And party down ♪
337
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:14,374
♪ At home they bug me ♪
338
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:16,168
Come on, guys.
339
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:20,172
What are you?
A bunch of babies?
340
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:25,177
♪ They just don't understand ♪
341
00:22:25,218 --> 00:22:28,180
♪ I've left for the first time ♪
342
00:22:28,221 --> 00:22:30,849
- ♪ I'm here where I belong ♪
- ( whistle blowing )
343
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:34,478
Okay, the rifle range
is closed now.
344
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:37,064
We can all leave.
345
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:38,482
Let's go. Let's go.
346
00:22:38,523 --> 00:22:41,401
Let's go. Quickly.
347
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:42,569
Yeah.
348
00:22:42,611 --> 00:22:46,365
♪ Where gettin' loose is cool ♪
349
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:48,492
( explosion )
350
00:22:50,410 --> 00:22:52,788
Whoa! Whoa!
351
00:22:54,581 --> 00:22:55,874
Okay, you guys, come on.
352
00:22:55,916 --> 00:22:57,876
Jerry is gonna show you
how it's done.
353
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,169
Now watch this.
354
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:01,588
Here we go.
355
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:03,423
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
356
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:07,594
Whoa!
357
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,555
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
358
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:13,767
♪ Breakin' all the rules ♪
359
00:23:13,809 --> 00:23:15,185
♪ Forget about your parents ♪
360
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:17,312
Hey, come back.
361
00:23:17,354 --> 00:23:19,773
♪ And party down ♪
362
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:38,625
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
363
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:42,671
♪ Where getting loose is cool ♪
364
00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:45,549
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
365
00:23:45,590 --> 00:23:49,261
♪ We're breaking all the rules ♪
366
00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:51,096
♪ Forget about your parents ♪
367
00:23:51,138 --> 00:23:52,431
♪ Now that you can ♪
368
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:54,599
♪ And party down ♪
369
00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:59,646
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
370
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:02,691
♪ Where gettin loose is cool ♪
371
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:06,319
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
372
00:24:06,361 --> 00:24:08,613
ALL: Yeah, yeah!
373
00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:10,449
Yeah. Yeah.
374
00:24:10,490 --> 00:24:11,616
Whoo!
375
00:24:11,658 --> 00:24:13,952
That's my boy.
376
00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:16,746
Yeah, yeah,
come on, you go.
377
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:25,630
Whoo! Come on, Chet!
Come on, Chet!
378
00:24:25,672 --> 00:24:26,882
( whistle blows )
379
00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:30,594
( cheering and shouting )
380
00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:35,098
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
381
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:36,224
Squirrels!
382
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:41,730
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
383
00:24:41,771 --> 00:24:45,275
♪ Breakin' all the rules ♪
384
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,277
♪ Forget about your parents ♪
385
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,487
♪ Now that you can ♪
386
00:24:48,528 --> 00:24:51,615
FERRIS:
Up, up, up.
387
00:24:53,366 --> 00:24:54,868
( screaming )
388
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,286
Oh.
389
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:59,331
Get me down.
390
00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:03,251
♪ I'm gonna party down ♪
391
00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:06,588
♪ Breaking all the rules ♪
392
00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:08,340
♪ Forget about your parents ♪
393
00:25:08,381 --> 00:25:09,716
♪ Now that you can ♪
394
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,134
FERRIS:
Medic!
395
00:25:18,683 --> 00:25:20,143
D.A.:
Come on, Ferris.
396
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,020
No, no, no, please.
397
00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:23,522
I'm a bleeder.
I'm a fainter.
398
00:25:23,563 --> 00:25:25,148
Come on, I'll puke, I'll puke.
399
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,358
Take off your pants.
400
00:25:26,399 --> 00:25:27,609
But we just met.
401
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:28,818
Now.
402
00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:31,238
Come on, let's enjoy this.
403
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:39,621
Ow! Ow, that kills,
that kills!
404
00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:41,122
It does?
405
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:43,959
How about this?
406
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:47,379
Ow!
407
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,056
( Dyanne giggling )
408
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:02,394
DYANNE: Oh...
409
00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:05,188
Oh, my God.
410
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,815
It's huge.
411
00:26:10,193 --> 00:26:14,322
Oh, God it's so big and hard.
412
00:26:17,534 --> 00:26:18,910
You want me to make it bigger?
413
00:26:18,952 --> 00:26:19,911
Oh, yes.
414
00:26:20,745 --> 00:26:23,081
I mean, do you want help?
415
00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:24,374
No.
416
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,668
I can get it up.
417
00:26:26,710 --> 00:26:29,087
Are you sure you can
get it up all the way?
418
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:31,172
Yeah.
419
00:26:31,214 --> 00:26:34,092
Good. Good.
420
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,802
Good.
421
00:26:35,844 --> 00:26:39,764
Wow, it's so enormous.
422
00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:41,975
You must work out for hours.
423
00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:44,352
I pump my fair share of iron.
424
00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:48,940
TAD:
Riviera, he'll get his.
425
00:26:53,570 --> 00:26:56,448
( rock music plays
on a radio )
426
00:26:56,489 --> 00:26:58,950
You know, they got
tons of stuff to do here.
427
00:27:00,076 --> 00:27:02,662
Hey, what's this
Chipmunk Challenge?
428
00:27:02,704 --> 00:27:04,539
Big relay
at the end of the week.
429
00:27:04,581 --> 00:27:06,124
Skateboards,
Suzuki four-wheelers,
430
00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:06,958
mountain bikes.
431
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,336
Mountain bikes?
Cool.
432
00:27:09,377 --> 00:27:13,048
Hey, I got a Haro Group 1 BMX,
it's raw.
433
00:27:13,089 --> 00:27:14,716
How'd you pay for it?
434
00:27:14,758 --> 00:27:15,925
Paper route?
435
00:27:17,093 --> 00:27:17,469
Bingo.
436
00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,763
How did you pay for camp?
437
00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:21,222
Food stamps?
438
00:27:22,098 --> 00:27:23,558
Hey, listen, dick-breath,
439
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,353
I don't have a rich mommy
and daddy to pay for me.
440
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:27,771
I earn my way.
441
00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:31,483
Yeah, charity.
442
00:27:31,524 --> 00:27:33,401
All right, sucker, let's go.
443
00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:34,402
Well, come on.
444
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:36,780
Beer on.
445
00:27:36,821 --> 00:27:38,114
A little beer
for my happy campers,
446
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:40,492
what do you say?
And beer nuts to go. Whoa.
447
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:43,536
Ferris, Ned, there you go.
Winslow, there you go.
448
00:27:43,578 --> 00:27:47,290
D.A., man, have you seen
the ladies at this place?
449
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,001
You guys are gonna
have a great time.
450
00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:52,087
WINSLOW:
Uh, not so great.
451
00:27:52,128 --> 00:27:52,879
Yeah.
452
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:55,090
Not so great?
453
00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:56,841
I used to go to Camp Weaselwood.
454
00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:59,511
I had the time of my life
with the ladies.
455
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:01,304
I mean, the place looked
like a feminist rally,
456
00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:03,515
but here, damn.
457
00:28:03,556 --> 00:28:05,392
NED: I still say
this camp sucks.
458
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:08,895
Oh, yeah?
459
00:28:08,937 --> 00:28:11,815
I was saving this,
but I think the time is right.
460
00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:13,858
Okay, how many cabins
at this camp
461
00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:15,360
do you know that come
with their own,
462
00:28:15,402 --> 00:28:19,406
very own customized
Mr. Jacuzzi?
463
00:28:19,447 --> 00:28:20,865
Let's party, come on!
464
00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:23,243
- NED: All right.
- All right, yeah.
465
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:33,128
Hit it.
466
00:28:36,089 --> 00:28:38,341
Come on, guys, let's talk.
Come on.
467
00:28:38,383 --> 00:28:39,342
Oh, yes.
468
00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:42,053
Cheers.
469
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:48,560
Miller, breakfast
of champions.
470
00:28:48,601 --> 00:28:50,520
Hey, Winslow,
come on in the tub with us.
471
00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,439
Come on, Wins.
472
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,440
No.
473
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:54,816
I got to finish this.
474
00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:56,067
Oh, come on, Wins.
475
00:28:56,109 --> 00:28:58,319
Well, at least have a beer.
476
00:28:58,361 --> 00:28:59,738
Oh...
477
00:28:59,779 --> 00:29:01,614
Should I?
478
00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:03,241
W-w-what might happen?
479
00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:06,494
Wait, you mean,
like hallucinations and stuff?
480
00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:07,871
- Yeah.
- Well,
481
00:29:07,912 --> 00:29:09,122
your brain might explode.
482
00:29:09,164 --> 00:29:10,582
You might see sparks.
483
00:29:10,623 --> 00:29:12,959
Smoke everywhere.
484
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:15,754
Come on, Wins,
have your first beer with us.
485
00:29:15,795 --> 00:29:17,589
Come on, Wins.
486
00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:23,887
( screaming )
487
00:29:39,819 --> 00:29:41,196
On second thought, Winslow,
488
00:29:41,237 --> 00:29:43,531
this stuff will kill you.
489
00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:46,451
MRS. BEADLE : Come into my web,
Sarge-y Warge-y.
490
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:50,038
SARGE: Oh, I'm getting
a buzz on already.
491
00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:52,999
Oh.
492
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:57,295
Oh, God,
these really are amazing.
493
00:29:58,755 --> 00:30:01,090
I was really blessed at birth.
494
00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,468
Breakout the airline bags.
495
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:08,181
Oh, Tad just worships these.
496
00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:09,933
And he calls these--
497
00:30:09,974 --> 00:30:13,520
He calls these
his baby rocket.
498
00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:18,608
Yeah, he does.
499
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:19,818
Bombs away.
500
00:30:19,859 --> 00:30:21,236
Let's hit the pool.
501
00:30:21,277 --> 00:30:23,655
Her ego's
exploding, kids.
502
00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:28,201
Oh.
503
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,702
Oh, God.
504
00:30:29,744 --> 00:30:31,955
I must
have the best body
505
00:30:31,996 --> 00:30:33,623
in the entire camp.
506
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:39,212
We don't have those
in military school.
507
00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,298
Winslow, you're a genius.
508
00:30:43,466 --> 00:30:44,551
Super spy.
509
00:30:44,592 --> 00:30:48,388
( crying )
Oh!
510
00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:53,601
Jeez, what a major bod.
511
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:57,146
Wins, frame
the blonde better.
512
00:30:57,188 --> 00:30:59,274
Oh, I'd love to, man.
513
00:30:59,315 --> 00:31:01,860
Ow, let go
of my ear. Ow!
514
00:31:01,901 --> 00:31:04,195
If I catch you in that
girls' lavatory one more time,
515
00:31:04,237 --> 00:31:05,446
you're out of here.
516
00:31:10,535 --> 00:31:11,035
Oh, my God.
517
00:31:11,035 --> 00:31:13,705
Damn, looks like
we found the party.
518
00:31:13,746 --> 00:31:16,040
No lie.
519
00:31:19,752 --> 00:31:21,087
Hey, who's that?
520
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:23,381
JERRY:
Woman of my dreams.
521
00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:25,466
Yeah?
You're gonna talk to her?
522
00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:28,094
Um...
523
00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:29,387
I figure
I'll give her a chance
524
00:31:29,429 --> 00:31:31,890
to check me out first,
you know.
525
00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:33,766
Hey, take note, guys,
526
00:31:33,808 --> 00:31:36,144
hacky sack,
sport of scholars.
527
00:31:36,185 --> 00:31:37,270
Huh, what do you think?
528
00:31:37,312 --> 00:31:39,063
That's a beach rat's game.
529
00:31:39,105 --> 00:31:42,275
Hey, no way, Ned man.
Next to having a puppy,
530
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,320
this is the best way to have
women crawling all over you.
531
00:31:46,237 --> 00:31:47,572
Come on, let's try it.
532
00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:49,324
Come on.
533
00:31:51,451 --> 00:31:53,828
See? Chicks see
you playing this,
534
00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:55,413
they think
you got some class.
535
00:31:55,455 --> 00:31:57,498
Good breeding,
you know, athletic prowess.
536
00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:04,756
Oh, Ferris.
Oh, great.
537
00:32:08,301 --> 00:32:10,011
Well, someone go get it.
538
00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:13,932
Go on, man, just go over there
and use your old Don Juan rap.
539
00:32:13,973 --> 00:32:15,433
That kills.
540
00:32:15,475 --> 00:32:16,935
Hey, you guys got
to see this number.
541
00:32:16,976 --> 00:32:19,437
Not now, come on.
542
00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:20,855
Come on.
543
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:22,065
Come on, show them.
544
00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:23,066
Rage, dude.
545
00:32:23,107 --> 00:32:24,525
Okay, okay, okay.
546
00:32:25,276 --> 00:32:28,780
But you guys have to promise not
to let go of any of my secrets.
547
00:32:28,821 --> 00:32:30,949
You'll screw up the big lecture
I got planned, okay?
548
00:32:30,990 --> 00:32:32,575
- Hey, we promise.
- Okay.
549
00:32:32,617 --> 00:32:33,952
My lips are sealed.
550
00:32:33,993 --> 00:32:36,663
Ned, I only wish.
551
00:32:36,704 --> 00:32:38,498
And no notes or pictures.
552
00:32:47,882 --> 00:32:49,968
So do you make it a point
553
00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:53,096
to be the most gorgeous
Camp Chipmunk cow?
554
00:32:53,137 --> 00:32:55,682
Cow? Did you call
me a cow?
555
00:32:55,723 --> 00:32:59,811
Um, counselor.
Camp Chipmunk counselor.
556
00:32:59,852 --> 00:33:01,479
No, why?
557
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:03,731
Um...
558
00:33:04,857 --> 00:33:05,817
Heather.
559
00:33:07,860 --> 00:33:11,489
And that's Jessica,
Devi, Lisa and Kelly.
560
00:33:11,531 --> 00:33:13,491
Hi. Hi.
561
00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:17,203
Jerry and, um, those
are my Squirrels.
562
00:33:23,876 --> 00:33:25,128
What's going on?
563
00:33:25,169 --> 00:33:26,129
I don't know.
564
00:33:26,170 --> 00:33:27,505
I think he's developed
565
00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:30,508
some sort of primitive
communication, I guess.
566
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:34,053
I'm impressed.
567
00:33:34,095 --> 00:33:36,431
Well, nice meetin' ya.
568
00:33:41,310 --> 00:33:43,438
So, uh, Jer, man,
what went down?
569
00:33:45,273 --> 00:33:47,025
She touched my hand.
570
00:33:47,066 --> 00:33:49,235
Yeah, well, that's something
to treasure forever.
571
00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:51,404
- Yeah.
- Good job, Jer.
572
00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:56,451
Ow!
Let go of my ear!
573
00:33:56,492 --> 00:33:58,244
Stay out of that
boys' bathroom.
574
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:02,123
Oh, you--God, you guys,
575
00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:04,709
you guys are gonna
just love sorority life.
576
00:34:04,751 --> 00:34:05,251
So what do you do?
577
00:34:05,293 --> 00:34:07,462
Well, we do all sorts
of super things.
578
00:34:07,503 --> 00:34:10,798
We drink beer, we eat pizza,
we drive Rabbits,
579
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:14,052
and we go on blind dates
and get our panties raided.
580
00:34:14,093 --> 00:34:15,470
Sounds cool.
581
00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:18,890
Heather,
what sorority are you in?
582
00:34:18,931 --> 00:34:21,559
- I'm not.
- How come?
583
00:34:21,601 --> 00:34:25,855
I'm too busy with classes,
swim practice and homework.
584
00:34:25,897 --> 00:34:27,315
Right.
Too busy for guys?
585
00:34:27,356 --> 00:34:30,401
No. I just haven't found
the right one yet.
586
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:33,404
Uh, I know who wants
to fill the void.
587
00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:37,325
Jerry of Jerry
and the Squirrels fame.
588
00:34:42,997 --> 00:34:44,707
Well, what do you think?
589
00:34:44,749 --> 00:34:47,210
- He's cute.
- He's goofy.
590
00:34:47,251 --> 00:34:49,170
Arf, arf, arf!
591
00:34:49,587 --> 00:34:52,590
Maybe a little goofy, but cute.
592
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:57,386
Oh, my God.
593
00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,138
You guys have got
to hear this.
594
00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:00,431
Okay, listen.
595
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:02,975
"Dear Cosmo, am I normal?
596
00:35:03,017 --> 00:35:07,814
"I struggle to have a teeny
little orgasm a week,
597
00:35:07,855 --> 00:35:12,026
but I hear of this lady
and she has 60 an hour."
598
00:35:12,068 --> 00:35:13,611
- Wow!
- Jesus!
599
00:35:13,653 --> 00:35:15,780
Oh, my God,
that's one a minute.
600
00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:19,784
- You're quick.
- She's quick.
601
00:35:23,162 --> 00:35:24,622
JERRY: Well, put it this way.
602
00:35:24,664 --> 00:35:26,040
They had
the security guards
603
00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:28,251
escort me
out the front gate.
604
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:30,545
- That's classic.
- Yeah.
605
00:35:30,586 --> 00:35:32,880
So how did you
wind up here?
606
00:35:34,549 --> 00:35:36,801
I applied
to a couple camps,
607
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,637
then I saw Heather
in the Camp Chipmunk brochure.
608
00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:42,140
- She's fine.
- You're telling me?
609
00:35:42,181 --> 00:35:44,267
I put up her picture
in my bathroom.
610
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:46,644
You know, that's kind
of kinky.
611
00:35:46,686 --> 00:35:48,938
Yeah, but it's
a good kind of kinky.
612
00:35:50,273 --> 00:35:51,524
I don't know.
613
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,651
I'll probably finish up
the season here,
614
00:35:53,693 --> 00:35:55,820
or maybe I'll apply for a job
on a cruise ship somewhere.
615
00:35:55,862 --> 00:35:58,156
You know, start at the bottom
and climb my way to the top,
616
00:35:58,197 --> 00:36:00,658
and eventually become
cruise director or something.
617
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:04,245
You know,
♪ The love boat ♪
618
00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:06,330
Cruise director.
I like that.
619
00:36:06,372 --> 00:36:08,875
You know, the cruise directors
get paid to party.
620
00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,044
So, how about you?
621
00:36:12,086 --> 00:36:13,379
I don't know.
622
00:36:13,421 --> 00:36:15,464
Just school I guess.
623
00:36:15,506 --> 00:36:16,841
I live alone with my mom.
624
00:36:16,883 --> 00:36:19,010
Oh, yeah?
What about your dad?
625
00:36:20,136 --> 00:36:21,679
I don't know.
626
00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:25,516
Probably on some
cruise ship somewhere.
627
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:29,854
Yeah.
So why this camp?
628
00:36:31,856 --> 00:36:35,693
Well, I go to the school
that's on this borderline.
629
00:36:37,361 --> 00:36:39,405
Oh, the old story
about the kid
630
00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:41,157
from the other side
of the tracks?
631
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,366
Yeah, right.
632
00:36:42,408 --> 00:36:44,368
You got the kids
from my neighborhood.
633
00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:46,829
You know, middle class,
not a lot of money.
634
00:36:46,871 --> 00:36:50,458
Then you got the kids
from up in the hills.
635
00:36:50,499 --> 00:36:52,043
Their parents are loaded.
636
00:36:52,084 --> 00:36:56,047
I mean, all of them either
drive convertibles or BMWs.
637
00:36:58,090 --> 00:36:59,717
I just don't like it
when people think
638
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:02,637
they're better than me,
you know?
639
00:37:03,971 --> 00:37:05,431
So you wound up here,
640
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:08,643
with us,
in the baggage class.
641
00:37:08,684 --> 00:37:10,937
Now they're a good
bunch of guys.
642
00:37:10,978 --> 00:37:12,730
Yeah.
643
00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:16,734
I still don't think we stand
a chance in competition.
644
00:37:16,776 --> 00:37:20,821
Look, I think this winning thing
is overrated anyway.
645
00:37:20,863 --> 00:37:22,573
Yeah, well, come on,
we better get ready.
646
00:37:22,615 --> 00:37:25,076
We got a big day tomorrow.
647
00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:27,620
You're right.
Pour me another beer.
648
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:29,330
- You got it.
- All right.
649
00:37:31,249 --> 00:37:33,960
MRS. BEADLE:
Good morning, campers.
650
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:37,255
NED: Oh, excuse me.
This is Captain Scramble.
651
00:37:37,296 --> 00:37:39,674
MRS. BEADLE:
What-- my P.A.
652
00:37:42,468 --> 00:37:44,512
NED: Rock and roll
is here to stay.
653
00:37:45,638 --> 00:37:50,101
( rock music playing
on speaker )
654
00:38:02,697 --> 00:38:03,864
That's not
the kind of stuff I want
655
00:38:03,906 --> 00:38:05,866
a young man doing
in the pool.
656
00:38:05,908 --> 00:38:07,743
Ow, can't you pull
my other ear this time?
657
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:09,120
Oh, I'll pull them off.
Come on.
658
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:12,790
By the way,
659
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:14,667
ever since
this camp began,
660
00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:15,960
there's been
an intense rivalry
661
00:38:16,002 --> 00:38:18,462
between the Squirrels
and the Falcons.
662
00:38:18,504 --> 00:38:21,632
Why do I sound like I'm doing
a bad version of Our Town?
663
00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:23,134
Actually, that's not true.
664
00:38:23,175 --> 00:38:25,803
It was just this year,
and it wasn't rivalry,
665
00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:26,846
it was war.
666
00:38:28,014 --> 00:38:28,597
Let's hear it again.
667
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:32,727
We are the Falcons,
couldn't be prouder.
668
00:38:32,768 --> 00:38:35,980
If you can't hear us,
we'll shout a little louder.
669
00:38:36,022 --> 00:38:37,940
Yeah!
670
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:39,900
All right guys,
let's give it to them.
671
00:38:39,942 --> 00:38:41,527
Let's drown out
those clowns.
672
00:38:41,569 --> 00:38:44,447
Ready,
and, we are the Squirrels,
673
00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:46,907
couldn't be pr--
674
00:38:46,949 --> 00:38:47,491
Oh, come on.
675
00:38:47,533 --> 00:38:50,077
Come on, we got to
psyche up here, ready?
676
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:56,125
Wow.
677
00:39:04,008 --> 00:39:05,843
SARGE:
Tad and his Falcons are looking
678
00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:09,180
pretty strong this session.
Fifty bucks and a year's supply
679
00:39:09,221 --> 00:39:13,434
of fly paper says
they win the challenge race.
680
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:14,852
MRS. BEADLE:
I'll take that bet.
681
00:39:14,894 --> 00:39:18,731
Say, is that your fly
I see open?
682
00:39:32,912 --> 00:39:34,705
Do you think
it was really fair
683
00:39:34,747 --> 00:39:37,792
putting all the rejects
in one cabin and all?
684
00:39:37,833 --> 00:39:40,211
Fair?
685
00:39:40,252 --> 00:39:42,004
What is fair?
686
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:44,799
I mean, Riviera
is a cretin, okay?
687
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,592
The guy deserves
the camp wimps,
688
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,677
the wussies
and the weenies.
689
00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:52,014
We need someone
to pick on.
690
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:55,226
Right?
691
00:39:57,436 --> 00:39:58,396
That's it.
692
00:39:58,437 --> 00:40:00,314
So what do you think?
693
00:40:00,356 --> 00:40:03,401
That maybe we could run away
and join the circus.
694
00:40:03,442 --> 00:40:05,528
Yeah. We could all
kill ourselves.
695
00:40:05,569 --> 00:40:08,239
Hey, let's think of something
a little less dramatic, okay?
696
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,241
Winslow?
697
00:40:10,282 --> 00:40:12,034
Ferris?
698
00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:14,328
Hey, what happened
to annihilation?
699
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:17,706
The old straight from scorched
earth attitude, huh?
700
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:20,418
Wimps.
701
00:40:20,459 --> 00:40:22,086
Weenies, wussies.
702
00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:23,546
Is he talking about us?
703
00:40:23,587 --> 00:40:24,755
Hey, Ned, you a wimp?
704
00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:26,632
- No.
- All right.
705
00:40:26,674 --> 00:40:28,801
D.A., you ever
let anyone get away
706
00:40:28,843 --> 00:40:31,720
with calling you a weenie?
707
00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:34,014
No way.
I'd waste him.
708
00:40:34,056 --> 00:40:35,641
All right. Ferris?
709
00:40:35,683 --> 00:40:37,268
I'm ain't no wussie.
710
00:40:37,309 --> 00:40:38,644
Aren't a wussie.
711
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:40,438
I know one of those either.
712
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:42,106
Okay, okay.
713
00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:44,233
Look, so that's it, huh?
714
00:40:44,275 --> 00:40:45,568
I came here to have fun,
715
00:40:45,609 --> 00:40:48,446
not to get humiliated
and hassled.
716
00:40:48,487 --> 00:40:49,947
Look, I just--
I just came here
717
00:40:49,989 --> 00:40:53,117
to meet some new buddies,
catch some rays.
718
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:55,786
Score some babes, huh?
719
00:40:55,828 --> 00:40:59,790
So that's it, from now on,
let's get them first.
720
00:40:59,832 --> 00:41:01,792
It's no holds barred.
Anything goes.
721
00:41:01,834 --> 00:41:04,462
We are here to party down, huh?
722
00:41:04,503 --> 00:41:06,464
What do you say?
723
00:41:06,505 --> 00:41:07,798
Huh?
724
00:41:10,009 --> 00:41:12,219
Kumbaya.
725
00:41:15,681 --> 00:41:17,308
Winslow, get ready,
they're coming.
726
00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:27,902
Now!
727
00:41:29,528 --> 00:41:31,113
( explosion )
728
00:41:32,448 --> 00:41:34,742
- Yeah.
- Yes, yes, yes.
729
00:41:50,132 --> 00:41:55,179
A prank this sick
and depraved,
730
00:41:55,221 --> 00:41:59,016
could only out of the mind,
of the twisted mind,
731
00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:01,519
of Jerry and those
damn Squirrels.
732
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:02,853
It's got to be.
733
00:42:02,895 --> 00:42:06,524
This calls for a serious
retaliatory strike.
734
00:42:06,565 --> 00:42:10,528
- Nuke them?
- Worse.
735
00:42:10,569 --> 00:42:12,530
Lax them.
736
00:42:12,571 --> 00:42:16,033
I'll have Dyanne
bake some brownies.
737
00:42:16,075 --> 00:42:22,623
Some sugar, some flour,
and some laxative.
738
00:42:22,665 --> 00:42:24,458
That will put those
little weasels--
739
00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,877
- Squirrels.
- Right, those.
740
00:42:26,919 --> 00:42:30,756
Put them on a commission
for a whole week.
741
00:42:37,304 --> 00:42:38,847
Tad?
742
00:42:38,889 --> 00:42:43,727
Nurse Brenda,
I'm not feeling too good.
743
00:42:43,769 --> 00:42:45,229
What happened?
744
00:42:45,271 --> 00:42:49,567
It was the chow,
the chow at the cafeteria,
745
00:42:49,608 --> 00:42:54,071
- I'm feeling pretty irregular.
- So what else is new?
746
00:42:54,113 --> 00:42:57,074
Oh, my whole cabin
is just wiped out,
747
00:42:57,116 --> 00:43:00,578
and I was wondering
if I could, uh, you know,
748
00:43:00,619 --> 00:43:04,582
if I could pick up
you know, some laxative.
749
00:43:04,623 --> 00:43:06,417
How much do you need?
750
00:43:06,458 --> 00:43:08,711
Oh, 40 boxes.
751
00:43:08,752 --> 00:43:11,171
Forty boxes?
752
00:43:11,213 --> 00:43:14,258
Now that sounds serious.
753
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:18,679
Tell you what,
I've got just the thing for you.
754
00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:20,806
Oh. Oh, no,
if you can just
755
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,891
give me the 40 boxes,
that will be--
756
00:43:22,933 --> 00:43:26,020
Trust me.
This will do the trick.
757
00:43:30,065 --> 00:43:33,319
What!
( farts )
758
00:43:51,879 --> 00:43:54,256
- Hey, Tip.
- Tad.
759
00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:56,175
Tad. Tip.
What's the difference?
760
00:43:56,216 --> 00:43:57,635
Hey, you want
to shoot some hoop?
761
00:43:57,676 --> 00:44:01,805
Basketball is
too inner-city for me.
762
00:44:01,847 --> 00:44:04,475
Okay, so we'll play
on polo ponies.
763
00:44:04,516 --> 00:44:08,145
Looks like you're a little
saddle sore already, huh?
764
00:44:08,187 --> 00:44:09,229
Okay.
765
00:44:11,106 --> 00:44:13,984
Three seconds left, he sets,
two seconds, he's set,
766
00:44:14,026 --> 00:44:15,319
passes to the big blonde.
767
00:44:15,361 --> 00:44:17,655
Scores, Lakers win.
768
00:44:17,696 --> 00:44:19,156
Good pass.
769
00:44:21,909 --> 00:44:24,161
You want to go
a little one on one?
770
00:44:24,203 --> 00:44:25,496
You up for it?
771
00:44:30,250 --> 00:44:32,878
Hey, you got
some pretty good moves.
772
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,172
Yeah, I'll be easy on you.
773
00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:36,548
I like it rough.
774
00:44:36,590 --> 00:44:39,009
Oh, good.
775
00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:45,432
Are you okay?
776
00:44:46,850 --> 00:44:47,851
Yeah.
777
00:44:47,893 --> 00:44:50,229
Yeah, sure, I slipped.
778
00:44:55,567 --> 00:44:59,029
Hey, why don't we make this
a little more interesting?
779
00:44:59,071 --> 00:45:01,115
Okay. It's been too easy.
780
00:45:02,032 --> 00:45:04,368
How about a little bet?
781
00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:05,994
What?
782
00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:09,289
I make a basket off you,
783
00:45:09,331 --> 00:45:12,126
and you come to the dance
with me Saturday night.
784
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:16,714
- Okay.
- Really?
785
00:45:16,755 --> 00:45:18,132
Hey, wait--
786
00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:22,970
Hey, that wasn't fair.
787
00:45:23,011 --> 00:45:25,347
Hey, it's your bet.
788
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,807
Then you were serious.
789
00:45:26,849 --> 00:45:28,892
Sure. That's why
I'm trying to win.
790
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:31,270
Here, you take it out.
791
00:45:31,311 --> 00:45:33,063
Okay.
792
00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:36,316
Come on.
793
00:45:36,358 --> 00:45:38,152
Okay, all right.
794
00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:44,575
I scored.
795
00:45:46,076 --> 00:45:47,161
GIRL: She let him win.
796
00:45:47,202 --> 00:45:49,371
Saturday night under the stars.
797
00:45:51,457 --> 00:45:52,541
Yeah.
798
00:45:54,126 --> 00:45:56,879
It's that
old Riviera sky hook.
799
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:58,589
Whoo.
800
00:45:58,630 --> 00:46:00,549
( glass breaking )
801
00:46:03,010 --> 00:46:04,595
Ow! Oh, my ear.
802
00:46:04,636 --> 00:46:05,763
Ow!
803
00:46:05,804 --> 00:46:07,890
My ear, ow!
804
00:46:07,931 --> 00:46:10,851
( thunder booming )
805
00:46:13,645 --> 00:46:16,565
Great. There goes
my golden bronze tan.
806
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:20,778
I'm gonna look like I vacationed
in the maid's quarters.
807
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:23,781
- Rosarita's got a mega tan.
- Rosarita's a memory.
808
00:46:23,822 --> 00:46:27,159
- Kimmy had my dad fire her.
- Your sister's an ultra bitch.
809
00:46:27,201 --> 00:46:29,411
- That's the fourth maid.
- Fifth.
810
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:31,789
That's the fifth maid this year?
What happened?
811
00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:35,125
Kimmy caught Rosarita putting
nickels in her penny loafers.
812
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:36,585
Well, why couldn't
they have just taken away
813
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:38,796
her sauna privileges
for a month or something?
814
00:46:38,837 --> 00:46:40,631
Kimmy said she had
to learn a lesson.
815
00:46:42,841 --> 00:46:44,802
- Shit.
- Shit.
816
00:46:44,843 --> 00:46:45,928
Perfect.
817
00:46:45,969 --> 00:46:47,429
Oh, great.
818
00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:55,187
( soft jazz plays )
819
00:46:55,229 --> 00:46:59,066
( rain pattering )
Jerry. Jerry.
820
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,028
Huh?
821
00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:06,240
Oh, here I am.
822
00:47:07,699 --> 00:47:08,992
Oh, you're shaking.
823
00:47:09,034 --> 00:47:10,661
I'm scared.
824
00:47:10,702 --> 00:47:12,246
It's only thunder.
825
00:47:13,705 --> 00:47:16,083
Can I get under the covers?
826
00:47:16,124 --> 00:47:18,460
With you?
827
00:47:18,502 --> 00:47:20,128
If you must.
828
00:47:24,007 --> 00:47:25,926
Oh, you're freezing.
829
00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:30,347
What are you doing?
830
00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:32,057
Getting warm.
831
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,518
Heather, I--
832
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,103
Shh.
833
00:47:37,896 --> 00:47:39,606
Don't say anything.
834
00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:55,622
Jerry.
835
00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:00,878
You're so sweet.
836
00:48:00,919 --> 00:48:02,212
I am?
837
00:48:03,755 --> 00:48:05,382
Yeah, I am.
838
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:10,804
I want us to be
like this forever.
839
00:48:10,846 --> 00:48:12,973
Forever?
840
00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:14,474
Forever is a long time.
841
00:48:14,516 --> 00:48:17,019
I got to get my cat
spayed Tuesday and--
842
00:48:17,060 --> 00:48:18,812
Forget it.
843
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:21,064
Just think about us.
844
00:48:21,106 --> 00:48:23,400
( whispering )
Together.
845
00:48:24,443 --> 00:48:26,320
Like this.
846
00:48:26,361 --> 00:48:27,404
Jerry.
847
00:48:27,446 --> 00:48:28,697
Heather.
848
00:48:28,739 --> 00:48:30,240
Jerry.
849
00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:31,408
Heather.
850
00:48:31,450 --> 00:48:32,409
Jerry.
851
00:48:32,451 --> 00:48:34,244
Heather.
852
00:48:34,286 --> 00:48:38,749
Heather.
Oh, oh, Heather.
853
00:48:42,669 --> 00:48:43,670
Oh.
854
00:48:46,465 --> 00:48:49,134
Hey, what the hell
is going on?
855
00:48:51,178 --> 00:48:52,638
You had a wet dream.
856
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:57,100
Oh, jeez.
857
00:48:57,142 --> 00:48:58,602
MRS. BEADLE:
Good morning, Chipmunkeys.
858
00:48:58,644 --> 00:49:01,605
Today's fun activities
include a puppet show,
859
00:49:01,647 --> 00:49:05,067
some whacky skits,
introductory yo-yo repair,
860
00:49:05,108 --> 00:49:07,152
and a nature walk.
861
00:49:07,194 --> 00:49:09,279
May I remind you,
862
00:49:09,321 --> 00:49:12,616
all explosive devices
are strictly prohibited.
863
00:49:12,658 --> 00:49:13,700
Thank you.
864
00:49:14,993 --> 00:49:17,454
- Morning, campers.
- You're late.
865
00:49:17,496 --> 00:49:19,373
- Let's get going.
- Yeah, come on.
866
00:49:19,414 --> 00:49:22,292
But shouldn't I wait
for the other campers to show?
867
00:49:22,334 --> 00:49:25,337
We were scheduled to leave
over an hour ago, okay?
868
00:49:25,379 --> 00:49:27,798
Yeah, we don't want to miss
all the beautiful wonders
869
00:49:27,839 --> 00:49:30,592
- awaiting us in nature.
- Yes.
870
00:49:41,186 --> 00:49:42,729
Winslow, come here.
871
00:49:46,066 --> 00:49:47,609
( choking )
872
00:49:53,031 --> 00:49:54,491
Hey.
873
00:49:54,533 --> 00:49:56,326
This is like window shopping.
874
00:49:57,202 --> 00:49:58,412
Gimme that.
875
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:05,419
I know what I'd like get.
876
00:50:07,421 --> 00:50:10,549
Wow, look at the way
she spikes.
877
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:15,095
Oh, are those real?
878
00:50:17,973 --> 00:50:19,224
Does it matter?
879
00:50:22,644 --> 00:50:23,854
She sets.
880
00:50:23,895 --> 00:50:25,814
She slams.
881
00:50:25,856 --> 00:50:28,275
She's gorgeous.
882
00:50:36,783 --> 00:50:37,868
Bird watching?
883
00:50:39,411 --> 00:50:41,288
Yeah, you
call it that.
884
00:50:44,416 --> 00:50:45,751
Hey, come on, let's go.
885
00:50:58,096 --> 00:50:59,765
Hey, Dyanne,
are you coming?
886
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,392
Yeah.
887
00:51:14,279 --> 00:51:16,239
I hope we're not hiking
any higher.
888
00:51:16,281 --> 00:51:18,867
DYANNE: Why? What are
you worried about?
889
00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,702
Wild animals.
890
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:23,246
Rodents, bats, snakes.
891
00:51:23,288 --> 00:51:26,208
What kind of snakes?
892
00:51:26,249 --> 00:51:27,793
Rattlers mainly.
893
00:51:27,834 --> 00:51:29,586
And pythons.
894
00:51:29,628 --> 00:51:31,171
Now come on,
it's not dangerous.
895
00:51:31,213 --> 00:51:32,506
I promise.
896
00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:38,512
Well, what about
the animals?
897
00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:55,237
I don't believe it.
898
00:51:55,278 --> 00:51:56,905
What's that?
899
00:51:56,947 --> 00:51:58,615
Unless I'm mistaken,
900
00:51:58,657 --> 00:52:02,536
this is a wild herb
known as Angelica Vulgaris.
901
00:52:02,577 --> 00:52:04,037
So?
902
00:52:04,079 --> 00:52:05,622
Well, the Greeks
and Romans believed that
903
00:52:05,664 --> 00:52:09,209
certain herbs had medicinal
and mystical powers.
904
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:14,422
If I'm right, this plant is
supposed to be an aphrodisiac.
905
00:52:15,298 --> 00:52:16,842
How strong is it?
906
00:52:16,883 --> 00:52:18,552
I've heard
907
00:52:18,593 --> 00:52:20,262
that it makes Spanish fly
908
00:52:20,303 --> 00:52:22,347
look like sea salt.
909
00:53:01,803 --> 00:53:05,432
Help, help, save me,
I'm drowning.
910
00:53:09,227 --> 00:53:12,397
Help, help, save me,
911
00:53:12,439 --> 00:53:13,815
I'm drowning!
912
00:53:48,350 --> 00:53:50,060
Come on, breathe.
913
00:53:57,901 --> 00:53:59,027
You faker!
914
00:53:59,069 --> 00:54:02,239
- What? No.
- Dirt ball.
915
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:03,573
I was taking a walk.
916
00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:05,909
I fell, I fell
in the pool.
917
00:54:05,951 --> 00:54:08,119
In leopard skin Speedos?
918
00:54:08,161 --> 00:54:10,080
Oh.
919
00:54:10,121 --> 00:54:11,748
Well, look.
920
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:15,335
Okay, would you have been
happier if I had drowned?
921
00:54:15,377 --> 00:54:17,420
Come on, I was just joking.
922
00:54:17,462 --> 00:54:19,923
Does this act really work
with other girls?
923
00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:21,424
What act?
924
00:54:21,466 --> 00:54:23,635
The childish pranks.
925
00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:26,179
The sexual double entendres.
926
00:54:26,221 --> 00:54:27,681
Your Joe Cool attitude.
927
00:54:27,722 --> 00:54:30,225
- Jerry cool.
- That's your problem.
928
00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:32,185
You've got
the Peter Pan Syndrome.
929
00:54:32,227 --> 00:54:33,853
You won't grow up.
930
00:54:35,021 --> 00:54:36,982
Yeah, you're right.
931
00:54:37,023 --> 00:54:38,775
I am Peter Pan.
932
00:54:38,817 --> 00:54:41,903
And if being grown up
is acting mature and serious,
933
00:54:41,945 --> 00:54:44,406
like Tad and Dyanne,
934
00:54:44,447 --> 00:54:46,408
well, then I don't
want to grow up.
935
00:54:46,449 --> 00:54:49,035
I'll stay young forever.
936
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:55,375
So I'm Peter Pan.
You be my Wendy.
937
00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:57,877
We'll float away
to Never Never Land.
938
00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:00,171
Second to the right,
939
00:55:00,213 --> 00:55:01,631
and straight on till morning?
940
00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:04,009
Yeah, that's it.
941
00:55:04,050 --> 00:55:08,179
You know, Jerry,
you really are a nice guy.
942
00:55:08,221 --> 00:55:10,890
Really?
943
00:55:10,932 --> 00:55:13,893
When you're not acting
like such a jerk.
944
00:55:21,026 --> 00:55:22,402
Hey, wait a second.
945
00:55:23,236 --> 00:55:25,488
Hey, where are you going?
946
00:55:25,530 --> 00:55:28,450
Sorry, Peter Pan,
I got to fly.
947
00:55:34,456 --> 00:55:36,666
- Wait, who made this?
- I did.
948
00:55:36,708 --> 00:55:39,169
Well, did you wash the leaves
good and check for aphids?
949
00:55:39,210 --> 00:55:41,588
- Yeah, I washed it.
- Well, that's pretty good.
950
00:55:41,629 --> 00:55:43,006
I mean, we don't--
there's nothing worse
951
00:55:43,048 --> 00:55:45,467
than a salad
that crawls on its own.
952
00:55:45,508 --> 00:55:47,510
Oh, you guys are so silly.
953
00:55:47,552 --> 00:55:48,970
- Yeah, silly.
- Oh.
954
00:55:49,012 --> 00:55:50,597
We're real silly.
955
00:55:56,394 --> 00:55:57,979
Wow.
956
00:55:58,021 --> 00:55:59,189
Mmm.
957
00:56:03,443 --> 00:56:05,070
Mmm.
958
00:56:05,111 --> 00:56:06,905
This is really good, Ferris.
959
00:56:09,324 --> 00:56:10,867
Don't you guys
want any salad?
960
00:56:10,909 --> 00:56:12,494
- No, no, no.
- No, no, no.
961
00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:14,120
We ate before,
it's all yours.
962
00:56:16,039 --> 00:56:17,749
Okay.
963
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,793
I guess I'm gonna have
to eat it all by myself.
964
00:56:44,109 --> 00:56:46,611
Well, aren't you
gonna deal me in?
965
00:56:48,446 --> 00:56:51,908
Uh--uh, d-don't you think
we should head back?
966
00:56:54,828 --> 00:56:58,665
No, no,
let's play cards, huh?
967
00:57:03,336 --> 00:57:05,213
Oh, God, it's hot.
968
00:57:07,048 --> 00:57:08,675
I'm so hot.
969
00:57:11,302 --> 00:57:12,929
Do you feel hot?
970
00:57:12,971 --> 00:57:14,431
BOTH:
We're hot.
971
00:57:14,472 --> 00:57:15,807
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, we're hot.
972
00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:18,226
Yeah, yeah, we're
all very hot.
973
00:57:25,567 --> 00:57:28,027
You know what I always
wanted to play?
974
00:57:34,993 --> 00:57:36,244
Strip.
975
00:57:38,872 --> 00:57:39,873
Poker.
976
00:57:46,087 --> 00:57:47,130
Any objections?
977
00:57:47,172 --> 00:57:48,298
No. No.
978
00:57:48,339 --> 00:57:50,633
No, no, no.
Uh-uh.
979
00:58:10,695 --> 00:58:14,657
Ace, three,
five, nine, Jack.
980
00:58:14,699 --> 00:58:16,659
What does that mean?
981
00:58:16,701 --> 00:58:19,579
That means
you get to cool off.
982
00:58:19,621 --> 00:58:21,581
Oh, good.
983
00:58:39,849 --> 00:58:42,393
Does a pair beat
anything?
984
00:58:42,435 --> 00:58:44,395
Sure does.
985
00:58:44,437 --> 00:58:46,022
Nothing.
986
00:58:46,064 --> 00:58:47,815
Oh, shoot.
987
00:58:48,942 --> 00:58:49,984
Whoo!
988
00:58:50,026 --> 00:58:51,611
( cheering )
989
00:58:51,653 --> 00:58:53,321
- Let's go.
- Yeah!
990
00:58:55,323 --> 00:58:57,116
ALL:
Whoo!
991
00:59:00,036 --> 00:59:01,538
( twig snaps
in the woods )
992
00:59:01,579 --> 00:59:04,374
- Yeah, yes.
- What was that?
993
00:59:04,415 --> 00:59:05,708
Well, nothing,
nothing.
994
00:59:05,750 --> 00:59:08,586
Deal, Ned.
Ned, deal.
995
00:59:08,628 --> 00:59:10,797
- Deal, Ned.
- I can't.
996
00:59:24,269 --> 00:59:26,771
Royal flush? Man.
997
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:28,982
I don't mind.
I'm really hot.
998
00:59:31,526 --> 00:59:32,735
( twig snaps )
999
00:59:32,777 --> 00:59:33,945
Did you hear
something?
1000
00:59:33,987 --> 00:59:34,946
No! No!
1001
00:59:34,988 --> 00:59:35,989
No! No!
1002
00:59:37,615 --> 00:59:38,658
Are you sure?
1003
00:59:38,700 --> 00:59:41,244
Yes, yes, yes.
1004
00:59:41,286 --> 00:59:42,370
Okay.
1005
00:59:42,412 --> 00:59:45,164
ALL: Ahh!
1006
00:59:49,377 --> 00:59:50,336
- Oh, shit.
- Shit.
1007
00:59:50,378 --> 00:59:51,754
- Shit.
- Oh, shit.
1008
00:59:51,796 --> 00:59:53,172
- I'm gettin'--
- Let's get out of here.
1009
00:59:53,214 --> 00:59:54,716
Let's get out of here, guys.
Just go, man!
1010
00:59:54,757 --> 00:59:56,676
Oh, my God.
1011
00:59:56,718 --> 00:59:58,094
Run!
1012
01:00:03,808 --> 01:00:06,019
( screaming )
1013
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:11,149
Any of you guys
see my puck?
1014
01:00:11,190 --> 01:00:13,985
MRS. BEADLE: Attention, campers,
we're pleased to announce that
1015
01:00:14,027 --> 01:00:15,903
more volleyball classes
have been added
1016
01:00:15,945 --> 01:00:17,905
due to a rash
of recent sign-ups.
1017
01:00:17,947 --> 01:00:21,117
Also, all nature walks
are temporarily suspended,
1018
01:00:21,159 --> 01:00:24,704
pending an investigation by
the Drug Enforcement Agency.
1019
01:00:34,505 --> 01:00:35,673
GIRL: Oh, God.
1020
01:00:35,715 --> 01:00:38,635
Look at that tan
and those thighs.
1021
01:00:38,676 --> 01:00:41,137
Size, supple.
1022
01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:42,805
D.A.: I feel guilty
seeing these girls,
1023
01:00:42,847 --> 01:00:45,391
like I owe them dinner
or a movie or something.
1024
01:00:45,433 --> 01:00:46,392
FERRIS: Winslow.
1025
01:00:46,434 --> 01:00:47,685
This is a major glitch.
1026
01:00:47,727 --> 01:00:49,354
Man, I had no way
of foreseeing this.
1027
01:00:49,395 --> 01:00:51,189
D.A.: I think we played
this tape too much.
1028
01:00:52,649 --> 01:00:56,819
Winslow, you can record
anything, right?
1029
01:00:56,861 --> 01:01:00,657
Yeah, audio, video,
yeah, anything.
1030
01:01:00,698 --> 01:01:02,867
Squirrels, huddle.
1031
01:01:04,202 --> 01:01:06,871
It's time we went
on a bunk raid.
1032
01:01:16,047 --> 01:01:18,341
I give you till
the count of twenty,
1033
01:01:18,383 --> 01:01:21,844
and then I'm gonna
to kick your little can.
1034
01:01:21,886 --> 01:01:24,764
No, no, I'm not--
no, my harness is not--
1035
01:01:26,474 --> 01:01:28,726
No. Hold it, wait.
1036
01:01:28,768 --> 01:01:31,354
You ready in there,
you little nut?
1037
01:01:31,396 --> 01:01:34,774
You horsefly,
you little insect.
1038
01:01:34,816 --> 01:01:36,359
You little vermin,
you little insect,
1039
01:01:36,401 --> 01:01:39,070
you little housefly,
you little yellow jacket.
1040
01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:40,988
I'm gonna get you.
1041
01:01:41,030 --> 01:01:43,950
Fifteen seconds,
you little pest.
1042
01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:47,453
No, wait a minute,
I'm not ready for you, no.
1043
01:01:47,495 --> 01:01:50,957
Open up!
It's a raid.
1044
01:01:50,998 --> 01:01:53,584
( fluttery violin music plays )
1045
01:01:53,626 --> 01:01:57,296
Oh, I hope my bee suit comes
back from the cleaners soon.
1046
01:01:57,338 --> 01:02:00,883
Maybe I can stick to the ceiling
with Velcro knee pads.
1047
01:02:02,301 --> 01:02:04,971
Five seconds.
1048
01:02:16,065 --> 01:02:18,317
You've got me ticked.
1049
01:02:19,777 --> 01:02:22,822
I kill bugs dead.
1050
01:02:37,170 --> 01:02:40,214
I know you're
hiding in here.
1051
01:02:40,256 --> 01:02:42,258
( hissing )
1052
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:44,927
Somebody has been
messing with my plants.
1053
01:02:52,894 --> 01:02:56,939
It's close, I'm gonna
crush you, you little fly.
1054
01:02:56,981 --> 01:02:58,232
You're a horsefly.
1055
01:02:58,274 --> 01:02:59,567
You're a blue bottle.
1056
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,319
You little yellow jacket.
1057
01:03:03,863 --> 01:03:06,240
You're gonna get it now!
1058
01:03:06,282 --> 01:03:07,950
Oh, that smarts!
1059
01:03:10,828 --> 01:03:13,956
Bad Sarge, bad Sarge!
1060
01:03:13,998 --> 01:03:15,875
- Oh, no.
- Bad fly!
1061
01:03:15,917 --> 01:03:17,210
You've been a bad Sarge.
1062
01:03:17,251 --> 01:03:20,505
SARGE:
Bad, I mean good! Good!
1063
01:03:21,422 --> 01:03:25,009
Light!
You limp, little vermin.
1064
01:03:27,428 --> 01:03:28,846
( rooster crowing )
1065
01:03:28,888 --> 01:03:30,097
( gun shot )
1066
01:03:41,609 --> 01:03:43,569
D.A.: Are you ready,
Captain Scramble?
1067
01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:44,654
NED: Almost.
1068
01:03:57,542 --> 01:03:58,501
SARGE: Oh, no.
1069
01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:01,504
Don't wrap--
Ooh, ooh, oh.
1070
01:04:01,546 --> 01:04:03,172
MRS. BEADLE:
Be a good fly, boy,
1071
01:04:03,214 --> 01:04:05,174
and I'll let you pollinate.
1072
01:04:05,216 --> 01:04:09,345
SARGE: Oh, oh, oh!
1073
01:04:09,387 --> 01:04:12,849
MRS. BEADLE :
You're driving me buggy.
1074
01:04:12,890 --> 01:04:17,645
ALL:
Yeah! All right! Oh, yeah!
1075
01:04:17,687 --> 01:04:18,646
MRS. BEADLE: Oh, my God.
1076
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:20,147
You winged wonder.
1077
01:04:20,189 --> 01:04:24,026
( Sarge growling )
1078
01:04:24,068 --> 01:04:25,528
SARGE: I'm getting
tired of this one.
1079
01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:27,363
MRS. BEADLE:
Look at that stinger.
1080
01:04:27,405 --> 01:04:29,448
SARGE: Bee suit comes
from the cleaners soon.
1081
01:04:29,490 --> 01:04:32,994
MRS. BEADLE: Sting me,
sting me, sting me,
1082
01:04:33,035 --> 01:04:37,331
sting me, sting me.
1083
01:04:37,373 --> 01:04:38,374
Sting me!
1084
01:04:38,416 --> 01:04:43,671
( yelling )
Sting me!
1085
01:04:43,713 --> 01:04:45,673
SARGE: Help me.
1086
01:04:45,715 --> 01:04:47,174
Help me.
1087
01:04:47,216 --> 01:04:48,384
That's my Squirrels.
1088
01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:53,347
Oh, I'm just gonna have
a little of this gas.
1089
01:04:54,599 --> 01:04:56,601
Oh, oh.
1090
01:05:02,773 --> 01:05:05,693
It's the Squirrels, sir.
I'm sure of it.
1091
01:05:05,735 --> 01:05:07,653
How do you know?
1092
01:05:07,695 --> 01:05:09,906
Well, Squirrels are...
1093
01:05:09,947 --> 01:05:11,699
They are just squirrely, sir.
1094
01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:14,660
Well, handle it.
1095
01:05:17,788 --> 01:05:19,123
Now.
1096
01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:26,213
( muffled,
unintelligible sounds )
1097
01:05:26,255 --> 01:05:28,215
You and that
damn fly swatter.
1098
01:05:28,257 --> 01:05:32,136
( muffled speech )
1099
01:05:37,767 --> 01:05:39,518
Let's go, move it out.
1100
01:05:46,484 --> 01:05:48,486
Oh, my computer.
1101
01:05:48,527 --> 01:05:50,821
Oh, don't be such a cry baby.
1102
01:05:50,863 --> 01:05:53,616
Out of the way, wimp.
1103
01:05:53,658 --> 01:05:55,785
You will get it back.
1104
01:05:55,826 --> 01:05:57,453
All 80 million pieces of it.
1105
01:05:57,495 --> 01:05:59,789
Hey, what's going on here?
1106
01:05:59,830 --> 01:06:01,290
What the f... are you doing?
1107
01:06:01,332 --> 01:06:02,541
WINSLOW:
They took everything.
1108
01:06:02,583 --> 01:06:04,627
- My Uzi?
- WINSLOW: Everything.
1109
01:06:04,669 --> 01:06:05,753
Get him, Ferris.
1110
01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:11,759
Let's go.
1111
01:06:18,683 --> 01:06:20,142
You okay, Wins?
1112
01:06:20,184 --> 01:06:22,061
Ned, he don't look so good.
1113
01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:23,145
He'll be all right.
1114
01:06:23,187 --> 01:06:25,564
Yo, bros.
1115
01:06:25,606 --> 01:06:28,693
Hey, where are
my happy Squirrels?
1116
01:06:28,734 --> 01:06:32,488
Tad, Dyanne and his Falcons
just robbed our nest.
1117
01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:33,781
What?
1118
01:06:36,117 --> 01:06:38,202
My Mr. Jacuzzi is gone?
1119
01:06:53,634 --> 01:06:55,970
Hey. Hey, come on, guys,
1120
01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:59,598
we'll survive this, right?
1121
01:06:59,640 --> 01:07:02,476
Hey, think of it like
the Great Depression.
1122
01:07:02,518 --> 01:07:04,186
Ten, fifteen years from now,
we'll recover.
1123
01:07:04,228 --> 01:07:06,897
Everything will be hunky dory.
1124
01:07:06,939 --> 01:07:08,357
Hey, come on.
1125
01:07:08,399 --> 01:07:10,109
We still got each other, right?
1126
01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:14,196
- I want my computer.
- I want my Uzi.
1127
01:07:14,238 --> 01:07:16,073
And I want my
Mr. Jacuzzi, damn it.
1128
01:07:16,115 --> 01:07:17,616
Let's bring back them alive.
1129
01:07:17,658 --> 01:07:18,826
Yeah.
1130
01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,870
Squirrels, huddle.
1131
01:07:20,911 --> 01:07:21,871
Yeah.
1132
01:07:23,497 --> 01:07:25,332
Goddamn Tad's an asshole.
1133
01:07:25,374 --> 01:07:28,711
He took away all the stuff,
leaving them with no toys.
1134
01:07:28,753 --> 01:07:30,129
Winslow defenseless.
1135
01:07:30,171 --> 01:07:33,007
What a son of a bitch,
God damn it.
1136
01:07:33,049 --> 01:07:34,467
Let's get a drink.
1137
01:07:40,598 --> 01:07:43,142
Hey, you want to do
some wind sprints?
1138
01:07:44,101 --> 01:07:45,227
Kind of.
1139
01:07:45,269 --> 01:07:47,855
All right, uh...
1140
01:07:47,897 --> 01:07:49,940
How far do you want to go?
1141
01:07:49,982 --> 01:07:51,400
All the way, hon.
1142
01:07:51,442 --> 01:07:53,569
All right. Let's do it.
Let's do it here.
1143
01:07:53,611 --> 01:07:55,446
- Tad.
- Come on, let's go.
1144
01:07:55,488 --> 01:07:57,448
But, Tad,
I'm gonna get all dirty.
1145
01:07:57,490 --> 01:07:59,366
Come on, the trail is dry.
1146
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:01,869
Half an hour max.
1147
01:08:05,623 --> 01:08:08,292
Oh, God, you're
such a little kink meister.
1148
01:08:15,883 --> 01:08:17,384
Ready, go.
1149
01:08:19,136 --> 01:08:21,597
Try and catch me.
1150
01:08:21,639 --> 01:08:23,808
Yeah, right.
1151
01:08:29,730 --> 01:08:31,482
Yeah, try and catch you.
1152
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:34,193
A dork would want me.
1153
01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:37,488
Anything would want me,
but no, not Tad.
1154
01:08:51,001 --> 01:08:52,336
( screaming )
1155
01:09:02,054 --> 01:09:03,389
Tad?
1156
01:09:06,183 --> 01:09:07,601
Tad?
1157
01:09:12,982 --> 01:09:15,025
Tad, I'm not really having fun.
1158
01:09:15,067 --> 01:09:16,735
Tad.
1159
01:09:16,777 --> 01:09:17,862
( screaming )
1160
01:09:26,370 --> 01:09:28,998
Who are you guys?
1161
01:09:29,039 --> 01:09:31,959
Am I being taken hostage?
1162
01:09:32,001 --> 01:09:35,337
Are you guys Iranians?
1163
01:09:35,379 --> 01:09:37,464
Are you Libyans?
1164
01:09:42,761 --> 01:09:44,013
Hey!
1165
01:09:44,054 --> 01:09:46,182
Hey, somebody help me.
1166
01:09:46,223 --> 01:09:48,058
I can't get out of here.
1167
01:09:48,100 --> 01:09:50,436
Help! Give me a hand.
1168
01:09:53,898 --> 01:09:55,482
( horse neighing )
1169
01:10:01,488 --> 01:10:04,074
Okay, boy.
Good horse, good horse.
1170
01:10:04,116 --> 01:10:10,289
Now, now go back to the camp
and bring some help, okay?
1171
01:10:11,749 --> 01:10:14,293
You understand?
You understand that?
1172
01:10:20,549 --> 01:10:23,427
Good boy. Good boy, yeah.
1173
01:10:31,936 --> 01:10:35,314
Oh, no, no, no, not that.
1174
01:10:35,356 --> 01:10:37,524
- ( horse whinnies )
- Oh!
1175
01:10:37,566 --> 01:10:39,735
Oh! Hey, that's a bad horse.
1176
01:10:39,777 --> 01:10:40,903
Bad horse-y.
1177
01:10:40,945 --> 01:10:42,905
Whoa!
1178
01:10:44,406 --> 01:10:46,825
( Dyanne whimpering )
1179
01:10:59,171 --> 01:11:00,839
What in the hell?
1180
01:11:04,593 --> 01:11:07,346
( muffled yells )
1181
01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:16,563
( pig grunting )
1182
01:11:25,990 --> 01:11:27,449
DYANNE: Oh, God.
1183
01:11:27,491 --> 01:11:28,617
Holy crap.
1184
01:11:28,659 --> 01:11:30,327
Practically shit on.
1185
01:11:30,369 --> 01:11:32,037
Kidnapped.
1186
01:11:32,079 --> 01:11:33,080
DYANNE: Tad!
1187
01:11:33,122 --> 01:11:34,832
I just--
1188
01:11:34,873 --> 01:11:38,460
Dyanne! Dyanne!
1189
01:11:38,502 --> 01:11:40,713
Get me out of here!
1190
01:11:42,339 --> 01:11:44,717
Tad, get me out of here!
1191
01:11:47,886 --> 01:11:51,307
Tad. Get up.
Get up. Get up.
1192
01:11:51,348 --> 01:11:52,641
Get up here!
1193
01:11:52,683 --> 01:11:54,476
Let me hit you again.
1194
01:11:54,518 --> 01:11:56,395
What are you doing?
1195
01:11:56,437 --> 01:11:58,480
What do you call this?
1196
01:11:58,522 --> 01:12:02,276
Your idea of a dream date,
Mr. Kink Meister?
1197
01:12:02,318 --> 01:12:06,655
I mean, drag me into dirt,
tie me up and bag me?
1198
01:12:06,697 --> 01:12:08,407
Wait, just a minute.
1199
01:12:08,449 --> 01:12:11,577
Look, I got bagged too.
1200
01:12:12,911 --> 01:12:16,832
You mean, the Squirrels
didn't help you?
1201
01:12:16,874 --> 01:12:19,126
Oh, jeez, no.
1202
01:12:21,378 --> 01:12:25,382
PIG #1: It was
the Squirrels, asshole.
1203
01:12:25,424 --> 01:12:27,509
The Squirrels, why?
1204
01:12:27,551 --> 01:12:29,803
PIG #2: Revenge.
1205
01:12:32,056 --> 01:12:32,598
Are you okay?
1206
01:12:32,598 --> 01:12:35,934
I mean, did it hurt?
Did they hurt you?
1207
01:12:35,976 --> 01:12:37,686
Are you okay now?
1208
01:12:37,728 --> 01:12:39,521
Yeah, well,
I kind of liked it.
1209
01:12:42,483 --> 01:12:43,650
Those little weasels.
1210
01:12:43,692 --> 01:12:45,444
- Squirrels.
- Yeah, those.
1211
01:12:45,486 --> 01:12:49,656
I can't believe they did this
just to get their stuff back.
1212
01:12:56,705 --> 01:12:59,875
Gentlemen, prepare
the ransom balloon.
1213
01:13:24,316 --> 01:13:26,777
Oh, my God.
1214
01:14:09,987 --> 01:14:12,197
( mumbling )
1215
01:14:14,533 --> 01:14:16,076
Ab-d...
1216
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:22,499
Ab-duc-ted.
Ab-abduc-abducted.
1217
01:14:22,541 --> 01:14:27,963
Ab-duc... ab-duc-ted.
1218
01:14:28,005 --> 01:14:29,465
Abducted.
1219
01:14:29,506 --> 01:14:32,468
What's wrong?
1220
01:14:32,509 --> 01:14:35,804
Well, if we had some matches,
1221
01:14:35,846 --> 01:14:38,765
we could light
this sprinkler system
1222
01:14:38,807 --> 01:14:41,935
and it will set off an alarm
in the main office.
1223
01:14:43,353 --> 01:14:47,774
You know, we really paid
a prize for being straight,
1224
01:14:47,816 --> 01:14:52,946
and perfect and all-American.
1225
01:14:52,988 --> 01:14:55,908
This teen angst
is really getting me down.
1226
01:14:55,949 --> 01:14:58,327
Wait a minute.
I think I got some matches,
1227
01:14:58,368 --> 01:14:59,786
wait, wait, wait, wait.
1228
01:14:59,828 --> 01:15:01,580
God, would this do?
1229
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:05,792
Okay.
1230
01:15:05,834 --> 01:15:07,252
Okay, here we go.
1231
01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:08,670
Here we go.
1232
01:15:09,505 --> 01:15:11,006
Here we go.
1233
01:15:15,177 --> 01:15:18,263
( cheering )
1234
01:15:25,229 --> 01:15:27,981
All we have
is one little condition,
1235
01:15:28,023 --> 01:15:30,067
and we'll turn over
the prisoners.
1236
01:15:30,108 --> 01:15:33,403
We really
don't really have a policy
1237
01:15:33,445 --> 01:15:35,030
for dealing with terrorists.
1238
01:15:35,072 --> 01:15:35,864
Do we?
1239
01:15:35,906 --> 01:15:37,908
Who are you people anyway?
1240
01:15:37,950 --> 01:15:39,284
Silence.
1241
01:15:39,326 --> 01:15:42,371
We only ask
that you meet our demands.
1242
01:15:42,412 --> 01:15:44,414
You ought to be ashamed.
1243
01:15:44,456 --> 01:15:46,708
Children look up to you.
1244
01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:50,712
Network television,
Saturday morning cartoons,
1245
01:15:50,754 --> 01:15:55,509
Nancy Reagan,
and now you've sunk to this.
1246
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:57,386
- ( Mrs. Beadle sobs )
- Silence.
1247
01:15:57,427 --> 01:15:59,346
Meet our demands,
1248
01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:02,099
and your counselors
will be returned safely.
1249
01:16:03,559 --> 01:16:06,687
You scum. Let me at him.
Let me get him.
1250
01:16:06,728 --> 01:16:09,940
( banjo playing )
1251
01:16:19,700 --> 01:16:22,077
Well, look,
what the Falcons dragged in.
1252
01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:25,122
Let's hear it
for collective bargain.
1253
01:16:29,501 --> 01:16:31,169
But not in an extra large.
1254
01:16:31,211 --> 01:16:32,671
Yeah.
1255
01:16:32,713 --> 01:16:35,674
Well, what kind of insects
do you have?
1256
01:16:35,716 --> 01:16:37,801
I mean, large or extra large?
1257
01:16:39,511 --> 01:16:41,597
Ooh, with a stinger?
1258
01:16:41,638 --> 01:16:42,806
Yeah. No, that--
1259
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:45,976
I got to get
back to you, yeah.
1260
01:16:50,022 --> 01:16:52,399
Where's my pen?
Where's my sticker, you turkey.
1261
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:54,693
Come here. Come here.
1262
01:16:55,652 --> 01:16:57,195
Ha-ha!
1263
01:16:57,237 --> 01:16:58,196
Where is it?
1264
01:17:08,123 --> 01:17:09,958
A map.
1265
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:11,126
Ooh.
1266
01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:16,048
( pigs grunting )
1267
01:17:31,688 --> 01:17:36,401
Now the main thing here
is not to panic.
1268
01:17:42,616 --> 01:17:45,243
( panicked yelling )
1269
01:17:48,664 --> 01:17:49,873
Tad?
1270
01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,632
MRS. BEADLE:
What is it?
1271
01:17:58,674 --> 01:18:00,676
ALL:
The Chipmunk Challenge!
1272
01:18:00,717 --> 01:18:02,511
What is it?
1273
01:18:02,552 --> 01:18:05,263
The Chipmunk Challenge!
1274
01:18:05,305 --> 01:18:09,851
All right. Your team starts
on skateboards here.
1275
01:18:09,893 --> 01:18:11,770
Do be careful
on Devil's Driveway.
1276
01:18:11,812 --> 01:18:13,855
We lost a camper
over the side last year,
1277
01:18:13,897 --> 01:18:16,775
and we're
still looking for him.
1278
01:18:16,817 --> 01:18:18,652
Then the skateboarders
return to here.
1279
01:18:18,694 --> 01:18:21,863
They'll tag their teammates
on Suzuki four wheelers
1280
01:18:21,905 --> 01:18:24,491
that go around
a specially marked track
1281
01:18:24,533 --> 01:18:25,575
and by the way,
by the way,
1282
01:18:25,617 --> 01:18:27,994
boys who brought
their jock cups,
1283
01:18:28,036 --> 01:18:29,705
you're encouraged
to wear them.
1284
01:18:29,746 --> 01:18:32,457
( boys grumbling )
1285
01:18:35,043 --> 01:18:37,003
Well, it's true.
1286
01:18:38,630 --> 01:18:43,009
Finally, the last leg of
the race is on mountain bikes.
1287
01:18:43,051 --> 01:18:48,014
And we finish here,
where we started, at the top!
1288
01:18:49,725 --> 01:18:53,979
Now remember, each team
is a counselor and two campers.
1289
01:18:54,020 --> 01:18:55,355
Good luck to all,
1290
01:18:55,397 --> 01:18:58,400
and may the best team
destroy the others!
1291
01:19:01,278 --> 01:19:06,533
ALL: Falcons, Falcons,
Falcons, Falcons, Falcons.
1292
01:19:25,385 --> 01:19:27,345
Hey, who are we racing?
1293
01:19:27,387 --> 01:19:28,096
Shit, Falcons.
1294
01:19:28,138 --> 01:19:32,184
Now what this? It looks like
it got erased or something.
1295
01:19:34,978 --> 01:19:37,522
I detect foul play.
1296
01:19:37,564 --> 01:19:39,775
Somebody switched it.
1297
01:19:39,816 --> 01:19:41,151
And I know who.
1298
01:19:48,575 --> 01:19:50,535
Well, here it is,
the day of the big race.
1299
01:19:50,577 --> 01:19:52,078
And it looks like
a mighty fine race,
1300
01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:53,497
if I do say so myself.
1301
01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:03,882
Well, the course is treacherous
1302
01:20:03,924 --> 01:20:05,592
and so are the racers.
1303
01:20:05,634 --> 01:20:09,387
Now I'd like to introduce you
to the big guys themselves.
1304
01:20:09,429 --> 01:20:11,973
Right here
from the Squirrels little area,
1305
01:20:12,015 --> 01:20:14,976
the man, Jerry Riviera.
1306
01:20:15,018 --> 01:20:17,020
Give him a big hand,
would you please?
1307
01:20:19,689 --> 01:20:20,816
Come on, come on.
1308
01:20:20,857 --> 01:20:22,400
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
1309
01:20:22,442 --> 01:20:23,527
My weapon, please.
1310
01:20:26,363 --> 01:20:28,907
Now, you sure
you're gonna be all right?
1311
01:20:28,949 --> 01:20:29,991
Yeah.
1312
01:20:30,033 --> 01:20:31,618
I'm a major thrasher.
1313
01:20:31,660 --> 01:20:32,911
Okay.
1314
01:20:35,121 --> 01:20:37,332
Okay. And, of course,
from the Falcons,
1315
01:20:37,374 --> 01:20:41,044
the mighty, mighty man himself,
the big man, the Paul man.
1316
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:50,595
Well, I'm donkey meat.
1317
01:20:50,637 --> 01:20:52,931
All right,
let's get this race started.
1318
01:20:52,973 --> 01:20:54,015
On your marks.
1319
01:20:54,057 --> 01:20:55,225
Come on, Paul.
1320
01:20:55,267 --> 01:20:56,309
Get set!
1321
01:20:57,769 --> 01:20:58,937
( gun fires )
1322
01:20:58,979 --> 01:21:00,939
( surf rock music plays )
1323
01:21:16,454 --> 01:21:18,748
CODY: It's Riviera
for the Squirrels in the lead.
1324
01:21:18,790 --> 01:21:20,333
Getting cocky, as he races
1325
01:21:20,375 --> 01:21:23,169
around the treacherous
hairpin turns and--
1326
01:21:23,211 --> 01:21:24,963
Whoa, Nelly!
He's just hit
1327
01:21:25,005 --> 01:21:26,590
one of those treacherous
hairpins in the road.
1328
01:21:26,631 --> 01:21:29,009
And the Falcons'
racer zooms ahead.
1329
01:22:26,149 --> 01:22:28,526
( rock music plays )
1330
01:24:09,669 --> 01:24:11,713
CODY:
Goin' for the jump!
1331
01:24:11,755 --> 01:24:12,714
Holy moly.
1332
01:24:12,756 --> 01:24:14,507
The Squirrel is down.
1333
01:24:14,549 --> 01:24:17,135
The Squirrel's back up,
racing for his bike.
1334
01:24:17,177 --> 01:24:19,888
This is unbelievable.
1335
01:24:19,929 --> 01:24:21,431
He's back on.
1336
01:25:05,642 --> 01:25:08,520
( triumphant rock song plays )
1337
01:26:08,371 --> 01:26:10,456
CODY: The Falcons are getting
a real cocky now.
1338
01:26:10,498 --> 01:26:12,625
Tad is performing
a victory wheelie.
1339
01:26:12,667 --> 01:26:14,252
Tad maybe
a little premature,
1340
01:26:14,294 --> 01:26:15,753
'cause Dyanne has rumored.
1341
01:26:33,396 --> 01:26:35,356
Here comes somebody.
1342
01:26:35,398 --> 01:26:37,150
Who is it?
1343
01:26:37,192 --> 01:26:38,359
I can't tell.
1344
01:26:38,401 --> 01:26:40,570
It's Tad.
1345
01:26:47,619 --> 01:26:49,996
- Let's go, D.A.!
- Come on, D.A.!
1346
01:26:50,038 --> 01:26:50,997
Come on.
1347
01:26:51,039 --> 01:26:53,875
Yes! Come on!
1348
01:26:53,917 --> 01:26:56,252
( screaming )
1349
01:26:56,294 --> 01:26:57,378
Yeah!
1350
01:26:57,420 --> 01:26:58,880
Come on, D.A.!
1351
01:27:04,802 --> 01:27:06,471
That's it.
1352
01:27:15,939 --> 01:27:18,316
And the Squirrels
beat the Falcons.
1353
01:27:31,371 --> 01:27:34,040
( cheering )
1354
01:27:43,466 --> 01:27:45,843
JERRY: We did it.
1355
01:27:45,885 --> 01:27:47,428
We won. We won.
1356
01:27:47,470 --> 01:27:49,347
I thought all you
wanted was a good time.
1357
01:27:49,389 --> 01:27:51,432
This is a good time.
1358
01:27:51,474 --> 01:27:52,850
Look at us.
1359
01:27:52,892 --> 01:27:54,519
Are we a great couple
or what, huh?
1360
01:27:55,603 --> 01:27:57,313
Are we dancing
together tonight?
1361
01:27:57,355 --> 01:28:00,066
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
1362
01:28:00,108 --> 01:28:01,859
Thank you!
1363
01:28:01,901 --> 01:28:02,986
Hey, Tad.
1364
01:28:07,615 --> 01:28:10,034
We are the Squirrels,
1365
01:28:10,076 --> 01:28:11,452
couldn't be prouder!
1366
01:28:11,494 --> 01:28:12,662
If you can't hear us,
1367
01:28:12,704 --> 01:28:14,539
we'll shout a little louder!
1368
01:28:14,580 --> 01:28:17,208
We are the Squirrels,
couldn't be prouder!
1369
01:28:17,250 --> 01:28:19,335
If you can't hear us,
we'll shout a little louder!
1370
01:28:19,377 --> 01:28:20,837
MRS. BEADLE: Campers, please
come to tonight's victory dance
1371
01:28:20,878 --> 01:28:22,714
wearing the
appropriate attire.
1372
01:28:22,755 --> 01:28:25,633
In fact, we'll settle
for the wearing of any attire.
1373
01:28:25,675 --> 01:28:27,468
Also, we're pleased
to announce that
1374
01:28:27,510 --> 01:28:29,595
Nurse Brenda has
donated the prize
1375
01:28:29,637 --> 01:28:32,265
for the best Chipmunk
Challenge racer.
1376
01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:33,558
See you tonight.
1377
01:28:34,434 --> 01:28:37,687
So, Nurse Brenda,
1378
01:28:37,729 --> 01:28:40,189
you live here
at Camp Chipmunk?
1379
01:28:40,231 --> 01:28:42,108
No.
1380
01:28:42,150 --> 01:28:43,776
I have a condo.
1381
01:28:43,818 --> 01:28:45,486
Oh, cool.
1382
01:28:45,528 --> 01:28:48,072
So what do you for fun?
1383
01:28:49,324 --> 01:28:50,825
Why?
1384
01:28:50,867 --> 01:28:52,994
Do you want to stick around
and find out?
1385
01:28:55,872 --> 01:28:59,584
( funky dance music playing )
1386
01:29:15,141 --> 01:29:16,768
Look, there's Tod.
1387
01:29:20,938 --> 01:29:23,441
We're never gonna
hear the end of this.
1388
01:29:32,241 --> 01:29:33,576
Hey, you're good.
1389
01:29:33,618 --> 01:29:35,745
Oh, yeah?
It's about time you noticed.
1390
01:29:35,787 --> 01:29:37,080
Hey, a little more spotlight
1391
01:29:37,121 --> 01:29:39,540
for Fred and Ginger
over here, come on.
1392
01:29:39,582 --> 01:29:41,084
Is this a party or what?
1393
01:29:43,419 --> 01:29:44,796
♪ Party ♪
1394
01:29:46,506 --> 01:29:47,965
♪ Party ♪
1395
01:29:50,385 --> 01:29:51,761
Where the hell is D.A.?
1396
01:29:57,225 --> 01:29:58,476
Great rack.
1397
01:29:58,518 --> 01:30:00,395
You built it yourself?
1398
01:30:00,436 --> 01:30:01,979
Shut up, slave.
1399
01:30:02,021 --> 01:30:05,316
Mistress Brenda
will beat you into ecstasy,
1400
01:30:05,358 --> 01:30:07,568
sending you
into savage realms
1401
01:30:07,610 --> 01:30:09,487
of pleasure and pain.
1402
01:30:11,406 --> 01:30:12,365
Okay.
1403
01:30:12,407 --> 01:30:14,534
Silence, worm.
1404
01:30:15,618 --> 01:30:18,079
Mistress Brenda
commands you
1405
01:30:18,121 --> 01:30:20,623
to beg for mercy, slave!
1406
01:30:23,960 --> 01:30:26,003
Oh, that hurt.
1407
01:30:26,045 --> 01:30:29,424
Stop. Stop.
1408
01:30:29,465 --> 01:30:32,510
Beg for mercy, slave.
1409
01:30:34,011 --> 01:30:35,680
Ow!
1410
01:30:35,721 --> 01:30:38,015
Oh, oh, did I hurt you?
1411
01:30:38,057 --> 01:30:40,393
Are you okay?
1412
01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,019
- That really hurt.
- Oh, God.
1413
01:30:42,061 --> 01:30:43,563
Let me get you
out of here.
1414
01:30:43,604 --> 01:30:45,606
I can't believe
I hurt you like that.
1415
01:30:45,648 --> 01:30:47,817
I'm really sorry.
1416
01:30:47,859 --> 01:30:49,819
Yeah.
That's okay.
1417
01:30:54,824 --> 01:30:57,034
There is no one
to dance with.
1418
01:30:57,076 --> 01:30:58,661
I didn't put on makeup
and this outfit
1419
01:30:58,703 --> 01:31:00,621
to mess it all up.
1420
01:31:00,663 --> 01:31:03,249
Hey, who are those guys?
1421
01:31:07,003 --> 01:31:10,548
- They are cute.
- Where have they been?
1422
01:31:20,266 --> 01:31:21,893
You guys want to dance?
1423
01:31:23,561 --> 01:31:24,896
Okay.
1424
01:31:27,064 --> 01:31:31,194
Look, I know I've been
a jerk, and I've changed.
1425
01:31:32,695 --> 01:31:34,572
Look at us,
we're great together.
1426
01:31:36,824 --> 01:31:38,826
We've got forever.
1427
01:31:38,868 --> 01:31:40,661
Forever?
That's a longtime.
1428
01:31:40,703 --> 01:31:42,079
I've got to get my--
1429
01:31:50,546 --> 01:31:53,883
So you can really show me
how to be a computer hacker.
1430
01:31:53,925 --> 01:31:56,802
Sure, we'll break
into a mainframe together.
1431
01:31:56,844 --> 01:31:58,179
If you're really good,
1432
01:31:58,221 --> 01:32:00,097
I'll give you
top security clearance.
1433
01:32:06,354 --> 01:32:08,814
You know, my father
takes us back-packing
1434
01:32:08,856 --> 01:32:10,107
in Maui every August.
1435
01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:14,403
Can you go?
1436
01:32:14,445 --> 01:32:15,821
Let me check my date book.
1437
01:32:20,409 --> 01:32:22,036
And I've got
a turbo Carrera,
1438
01:32:22,078 --> 01:32:24,580
and a Ferrari GTB,
and a Jag in the garage.
1439
01:32:24,622 --> 01:32:25,915
We can go for a drive.
1440
01:32:25,957 --> 01:32:28,125
Great.
After I get my permit.
1441
01:32:32,880 --> 01:32:35,633
( rock music plays )
1442
01:32:42,848 --> 01:32:45,101
I hate this kind of music.
1443
01:32:45,142 --> 01:32:47,144
I am leaving.
1444
01:32:47,186 --> 01:32:48,145
Where are you going?
1445
01:32:49,897 --> 01:32:53,025
I got to go home
and debug my house.
1446
01:32:55,278 --> 01:32:56,654
Can I come with you?
1447
01:33:01,909 --> 01:33:06,080
So, what are you doing later?
1448
01:33:06,122 --> 01:33:07,873
How about something
with you?
1449
01:33:14,630 --> 01:33:17,341
- Oh! Aah!
- Oh!
1450
01:33:17,383 --> 01:33:19,594
♪ Rock and roll ♪
1451
01:33:22,388 --> 01:33:24,390
♪ Now some say I'm bad ♪
1452
01:33:24,432 --> 01:33:26,017
♪ I'll have to admit ♪
1453
01:33:26,058 --> 01:33:31,188
♪ But the cops can't
take me far ♪
1454
01:33:31,230 --> 01:33:32,607
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
1455
01:33:32,648 --> 01:33:35,192
♪ You can get
to find a lover ♪
1456
01:33:35,234 --> 01:33:36,736
Enter!
1457
01:33:38,487 --> 01:33:40,364
♪ Rock 'n' roll ♪
96674
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