Original subtitles

Young voices: I pledge allegiance

To the flag

Of the united states Of america

And to the republic For which it stands...

One nation,

Indivisible,

With liberty And justice for all.

[drumroll]

♪ oh, say, can you see ♪

♪ by the dawn's early light ♪

♪ what so proudly we hailed ♪

♪ at the twilight's Last gleaming? ♪

♪ whose broad stripes And bright stars ♪

♪ through the perilous fight ♪

♪ o'er the ramparts We watched ♪

♪ were so valiantly streaming ♪

♪ and the rockets' Red glare ♪

♪ the bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ gave proof Through the night ♪

♪ that our flag Was still there ♪

♪ oh, say, does that Star-spangled banner ♪

♪ yet wave ♪

♪ o'er the land of the free ♪

♪ and the home ♪

♪ of the brave? ♪

There are those of you Who will go on to college

Or out Into the business world.

But others of you

Will add your number And energies

To the service Of your country...

And will do battle.

As we draw the curtain

On your last days In high school,

We, your faculty,

Note with sadness And pride

How many Of the class of '44

Have already joined The forces of freedom.

You are the last class To have entered our school

When the world Was still at peace.

And we trust

That you will be the last Young men and women

To be graduated

When the world Was still at war.

Woman: as you go Through these doors

For the last time, Be aware

That our school will Always be judged by you.

Try to measure up

To its traditions And its reputation.

Face the future With the knowledge

That someone up there Is always with you,

Alongside you.

Have faith in his power And wisdom.

And whether you are At home or in college

Or on some far-flung Battlefield,

Know that there is one

Who will give you Courage and faith

In whatever you do.

The little bird has Scratched at the window,

For nature has told him

That it is time For him to go,

To make his own way, To plot his own course.

Nor must we attempt To impede his flight,

For it is natural That he go.

There. We have Opened the window,

And now...He is gone.

Perhaps, one day,

When he is hungry Or sad...

Perhaps he will return From whence he came.

And until that time, We will listen constantly

For his dear, sweet song.

[playing fanfare]

♪ mine eyes have seen The glory ♪

♪ of the coming Of the lord ♪

♪ he is trampling out The vintage ♪

♪ where the grapes of wrath Are stored ♪

♪ he has loosed The faithful lightning ♪

♪ of his terrible swift sword ♪

♪ his truth is marching on ♪

Girls: boys: ♪ glory ♪ ♪ marching ♪

♪ glory, ♪ marching, Hallelujah ♪ marching ♪

♪ glory ♪ ♪ marching, Marching ♪

♪ glory, ♪ marching, Hallelujah ♪ marching ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ his truth is marching on ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ his truth ♪

♪ is ♪

♪ marching ♪

♪ on ♪

♪ his truth ♪

♪ is marching ♪

♪ on ♪

[various conversations Overlapping]

[someone whistles To dog]

[radio newscaster speaks Of the war, indistinctly]

[dog barks]

[people talking]

Shh! Shh!

Radio: in the pacific,

The allied mix Continues to strike,

And the japanese war machine Can find no way...

[becomes indistinct]

Excuse me.

Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yay! Yay!

[cheering and applause]

Hermie, How you doin'?

Alright. How are you?

Not bad.

Hi. How's Your party?

Ok, I guess.

Hi, herm.

Hi.

Where's benjie?

I don't know. My mother made

Orange layered cake Special for him.

[coughs]

I don't suppose It matters,

But this place Is a fire trap!

Who's smokin' The cigar?

Girl: I am!

Ha ha ha! [coughs]

You know what? My mother's Havin' my diploma bronzed.

Can that be done?

Your mother's The one who can do it.

Anybody Seen lorraine?

Lorraine? Who's she with?

Jerry miller.

Jerry miller? Try the bedroom.

That lorraine, Huh, hermie?

Ever get her Into your bedroom?

Oh, shut up, oscy.

I tell you, I'd like To bronze her.

Hey, hermie. Yeah?

When you goin' in?

Never.

Well, what's the matter? Aren't you 1-a?

I'm going to college.

Educational deferment, First class.

Oh. Um...Well, That's, uh...

Very nice.

I mean...I mean, That's ok.

Cut it, paulie. If you Weren't so stupid,

You'd be goin' To college, too.

Well, there's A war on. Remember?

Yeah. I heard The rumor.

If you enlist, you Can pick your own branch.

I'm goin' oh, yeah? Into the navy.

As what, A torpedo?

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Good ol' oscy. Excuse me.

You'll have scurvy In a week.

Yeah, yeah.

Damn it. Hermie, What the hell

We doin, Goin' to college?

We're goin' to complete Our education.

My education Complete.

I know when columbus Discovered america,

And I've been laid 6 times.

Look, we're officer Material, you and me.

In 90 days, we Could be lieutenants.

Yeah, well, you didn't have To pass your final exam.

I'll never know How it happened.

Copied everything From louie scofield.

Dumb, stupid Louie scofield.

He fails, And I pass.

I didn't want To go to college.

Just wanted to get Out of high school.

Who cares?

Phyllis ettinger, Where are you?

Advance and Be recognized.

Here I am, Down here!

We're leaving.

Ok.

I grabbed her boobs Right in her father's car.

Little did he know, Huh?

Hey, I'll meet you at Carson's about midnight, ok?

Yeah, ok.

Hubba-hubba. Gangway, Folks, and don't panic,

But there's A small fire upstairs.

A nazi pyromaniac got Ahold of our diplomas,

And now we gotta do The whole thing over.

[woman singing On phonograph]

It's the truth. You can't Dance when you're like that.

I mean, not without her Knowin' you're excited.

Christ. I was holding Her real close,

But my ass was in The goddamn punchbowl.

[tap tap]

Hi, herm. Hi.

Which one of you morons Played that song?

I'm in the mood For romance.

Gotta tell you, hermie, I hate that song.

It's not my nickel.

Morons!

[all talking At once]

Hey, how'd You make out?

I hit the horn 3 times And the jackpot once.

Where's benjie?

Oh, on the moon Somewhere.

Poor kid. Doesn't know Which end's up.

[dick haymes Romantic song plays]

Oh, there it is-- Our song.

Me and phyllis.

Love affair's gotta have A song to mark it, hermie.

No foolin'.

Yep. To make it Memorable.

From now on, whenever I hear that song,

I'll think Of phyllis ettinger.

That's a good way To ruin a good song.

Hi.

Hi, benjie. Hi.

I'll have what he's having. What are you having, hermie?

Heartburn.

Banana split. Vanilla cream,

Fudge sauce. And you?

Nothin'.

Oh, a glass of water, Too, please.

Sorry I missed Your party, hermie.

Oh, forget it.

His mother made orange Layered cake special for you.

5 of 'em.

That was Very kind of her.

Please give your Mother my thanks.

Oh, you can give them To her yourself.

There's still 2 left.

I may not be able To thank her personally.

This is it.

This is what?

I've enlisted.

In what, The boy scouts?

The marines.

The marines?

Yeah.

U.S. Marines?

Come on, oscy.

They took you?!

Jeez, oscy.

Hey, war's over, Folks! We lose!

What the hell you doin' Enlisting in the marines?

I want to fight for my country. Is that so goddamn strange?

Benjie, you're only 17. Aren't you underage?

Yeah, you're mother'll put The kibosh on it in 5 minutes.

She'll make roosevelt Sorry he was ever born.

I got permission.

From your mother?

Well, my father Convinced her.

When's the divorce?

Hey, what's this?

Hey, don't get any Chocolate on that.

It's a writing kit. It's from my mother.

It's part of the deal. I don't want to send

My mother any chocolate- Covered letters.

When did you enlist Anyway, benjie?

During the pledge Of allegiance?

A couple of weeks ago, I went to times square.

They have A recruiting booth.

They were Very nice about it.

If I tell my folks that your Folks gave their permission--

Christ, benjie, The marines took you.

You can't go anywhere By yourself.

Those days are over, Oscy. Over and gone.

They'll shave your head, Your beautiful, lovely hair.

You're mother'll Take the gas pipe.

How come the marines?

I wanted an outfit

With some honor, Some tradition.

I know it's corny, But it's done.

I'm looking Forward to it.

I want to get Into battle.

I don't care where.

Guadalcanal, The philippines,

It doesn't matter.

Wherever they Send me, I'll go.

I'm going to be Very proud.

I report tomorrow.

♪ from the halls Of montezuma ♪

♪ to the shores Of tripoli ♪

♪ we will eat our Orange layer cake ♪

♪ in the air, On land, and sea ♪

[trolley bell rings]

Radio: more than 15,000 german prisoners

Have now been counted.

American heavy bombers

Have been out In great strength today.

More than 1,300 of them

Attacking strategic targets In germany.

They bombed through cloud

And met No fighter opposition.

This is the greatest Daylight force

Ever to be set against German targets.

The marauders and havocs

Have continued to bomb Ammunition dumps

And communications Behind the line.

Some of those mar--

What the hell did You do that for?

I'm sick of News bulletins.

Well, the label's supposed To go on the carton.

Yeah, we'll Send the radio.

I oughta Send them you.

You think benjie's in it?

I think he's Still in boot camp.

It's only a month.

Little son of a gun

Hasn't sent us one letter,

Not one lousy Chocolate-covered letter.

We got to break out Of here, hermie.

Lefty's got a shiv.

We'll make our move In the laundry room, 8:00.

Shut up.

And when the war Is over,

It will all be One world.

And even though There still may be

Some small political and Philosophical differences,

Every country will know That this war

Will have been The last war.

And that will have Made it all worthwhile.

All the lives lost will Not have been in vain.

Bernice. What?

What the hell you knitting, A studebaker?

Radio: well, The bases are f.O.B.,

Full of brooklyn, And 2 and 2 on dixie walker.

2 out, the bottom Of the ninth inning,

Dodgers trailing The giants 5-1.

Ace adams delivers

And it's a long line drive Into right center.

Johnny rucker Going to his left.

Mel ott going To his right.

But the ball slams against The wall in between them.

Here comes ed staggi To score.

And goody rosen Right behind him.

Walker going to third. Velaz scores.

Hausman has the ball

And throws it to mancuso Covering home.

Walker slides in To bite the dust

And he's out!

Walker is out and The giants win 5-4.

And here comes durocher.

Hi.

Mr. Burger said it was Lunchtime so I could come in.

Benjie! Benjie!

Hey!

Name, rank, and Serial number, sir.

Same old oscy.

Benjie, you look So beautiful.

When did you Get home?

Last night.

Are you on furlough?

'fraid not, I'm on my way back.

Oh, you going over?

Well, maybe. It looks that way.

The pacific?

Well, come on now.

Hermie, look at this, He's got a stripe.

He's a p.F.C.

Hey, come on, It's lunchtime.

Let's go out And have a big lunch.

No, no, let's talk about it On the way to the subway.

I got to catch The brighton express.

Oh! Oh!

Hey, can't you even have A hamburger or a hot dog?

No, I just came by Because,

Well, I never Wrote to you.

They keep us Pretty busy.

Gee, benjie, it says Here you're a marksman.

What did you get it for, Bowling?

Come on, if I'm late, It'll be my stripe.

Your stripe!

Oh!

Hey, what are you doing?

Come on. Come and get it. Come on.

Give me my hat!

Come on, come on, Here, here, come on.

Oh, excuse me.

Here, benjie.

Here you go.

This is it.

Hey, benjie, look, It's on me.

We just Never got around

To getting You a present.

Ok.

Take care of yourself, Hermie.

Yeah.

Know 'em dead In college.

Yeah.

Oscy?

Take care, benjie.

See ya.

Privileges, privileges, More privileges!

I want to speak To a lawyer!

You dirty rat, so you're The one who told the warden.

Shut up.

Say, listen, I'll drop You both a line, ok?

Yeah, ok.

Yeah, send me a samurai Sword, would you, benjie?

Sure thing.

Hermie?

Good-bye, benjie.

Oscy?

See you, benjie.

Take it easy.

Do you believe he's gone?

Do you believe benjie Put on a marine suit,

Got on a train, And went away?

Christ, I think He's a looney tune.

He got lost going To coney island, twice.

What will it be, Boys?

Uh, let me have a hot dog With no sauerkraut

And an orange drink.

Right.

Hey, what the hell Is it with you, hermie?

You haven't said 10 words All summer.

Oh, I'll have the same.

My mother found us A rooming house near campus.

Yeah, we're not there yet.

One fast subway ride To times square

And I'm a god damned Leatherneck.

Yeah, well, my father Wants me to get in

At least one year of College. So does yours.

The war's gonna Be over soon.

Ok, so the war's over.

Christ, don't you Want to go in?

Sure, I want to go in,

But right now, It's out of my hands.

My father wants me To get in one--

Your father, your father.

What about Your brother-in-law?

He's in the war Up to his ass.

How can you look Your sister in the eye?

I'll tell you, hermie,

Going into the army Makes a lot more sense

Than going to college With a bunch of 4-fs.

Yeah, well, I think that Each man is different.

Each of us has His own road to go.

Oh, oh, that's What you think, huh?

Yeah.

You go with the wind, Hey, boy?

Yeah, I do.

Whichever way The wind blows, right?

Right.

Anywhere you hang Your hat's home, right?

Right!

You got it made, man.

I got it made.

[car horn honking]

Come on, let's go!

Hey, come on, hermie.

Jeez, the train's not Going to wait for us.

Alright!

Let's go. Hubba-hubba.

Come on. I've been waiting 40 cents on the lousy meter.

Let's go, speedy.

Christ, we'll blow Our whole tuition money

Just waiting around.

Well, there they go.

Is this trip Really necessary?

[train whistle blowing]

What the hell Are you reading?

Cheers: songs and cheers For football games.

You're kidding.

You asked.

You gonna wear A chrysanthemum, too?

Shut up, oscy.

[people laughing]

This should be A troop train.

We should be On a troop train.

We should be reading Army field manuals,

Not learning College cheers.

I'm telling you, Hermie,

I give this college 2 weeks.

Vendor: candy bars, Chewing gum, soda pop.

Ok, I expect you To know

4 cheers And a marching song

Within the hour, Joe college.

You know why you'll Never be in the army?

Why?

Cause you're already Section 8.

Oh?

Do you ever listen To yourself?

No. Got better Things to do.

Anybody else?

Candy bars, Chewing gum, soda pop.

Hey, you got any College cheers?

All out.

Joe college, give the Man one of your cheers.

Rah rah rah, sis boom bah.

That'll be 15 cents.

Up yours.

Candy bars, Chewing gum, soda pop.

Let me see that.

Vendor: anybody else?

Does it say here there are 20 girls for every man?

And that it's Our patriotic duty

To keep those girls Properly serviced

So that when The boys get home,

They won't get tetanus Cause the girls are rusty.

Hermie? I see you're In another one of your

World-famous Death-like trances.

I'm just more selective Than you.

You're the most Undiscriminating guy I know.

You'll grab anything That moves.

That's right. And you'll be 93

And still making Your selection.

We'll see.

Now there are 6 other boys Living in this house,

So you respect their privacy And they'll respect yours.

Bathroom's down the hall.

You'll find clean towels There, et cetera.

Now, there's A pay telephone downstairs.

Uh, breakfast is served Between 7 and 8:00 on weekdays

And between 8 and 10:00 On weekends.

3 ration coupons Per boy, per meal.

Well, oscar, herman,

I want to wish you good luck At the university.

Both: thank you.

Fantastic. My mother's missing Identical twin right here.

Utterly fantastic.

Any preference On the beds?

Nah. Hey, how do you Get a girl up here?

It's 2 floors up And a sheer drop

Into a bottomless pit.

No girls allowed.

Yeah? Well, if I find A girl I like,

I'm fitting her up With suction cups

And leaving The window unlocked.

Come on, hermie, let's Take a stroll on campus.

See what this college Jazz is all about.

[tower bell tolling]

I don't know If I'm staying.

Oh, yeah?

If this school isn't Everything I dreamed of--

If linda darnell Isn't head cheerleader,

And tyrone power Doesn't make

5 touchdowns Against potawatomi,

I'm gathering up My ration coupons

And transferring my body To dartmouth.

Just like that, huh?

Yep, just like that.

Morning, boys.

Morning, Mrs. Gilhuly.

Put your books away.

Now help yourself To a piece of toast

And pass it around.

Hey, don't read At the table.

Now, look what I have for you.

What is it?

Creamed chipped beef On toast.

Doesn't that Look delicious?

That's beautiful.

You help yourself And pass it along.

Now, there's milk On the table

For whoever wants it.

Who'd like a nice Hot cup of coffee?

I would, mrs. Gilhuly.

Alright, darling.

That's a boy.

Everybody helping Themselves to milk?

Drink your juice. Here you are.

How is it?

Smells delicious.

One of my best dishes.

Good morning.

Gilhuly: My late husband's favorite.

Morning.

Here you are, dear.

Thanks.

Now who else Would like coffee?

I have found That the textbooks

Are not in The proper sequence,

So tomorrow, please read Chapters 1, 2, 4, 8, and 9.

We'll do chapters 3, 5, 6, and 7 On thursday.

What did he say? Shh.

The following thursday, We'll have a written test

On all 5 chapters.

What did he say?

The following tuesday,

We'll have an oral test On chapters 6 through 9.

That'll be all For today.

All: sir!

Professor: I don't mind Not having sugar in coffee.

Sir?

It's not having coffee In the coffee that hurts.

Don't I know you From somewhere?

Do you go to school here?

You were in the cafeteria This morning, right?

Ok, enough with The lovemaking.

Your place or mine?

You washed out Again, huh?

I don't know.

This morning, a fraternity Expressed an interest in me.

Oh, yeah? Which one?

I don't know.

I think it was Beta screwa whore.

They got such stupid names.

Maybe it was Humpa rubba bumper.

You know How to do that.

Oh, very funny.

[tower bell tolls]

Hi. Uh, where's The editor's office?

It's right over there. Just take a seat, please.

Thank you.

[man and woman arguing]

Are you waiting To see the editor?

Yes.

What has that got to do With cheap sensationalism?

Yes, and grammar?

My grammar is as Good as the next guy.

Look, save yourself Some trouble.

You're not a writer

And you're Not a reporter.

You're a cute kid.

You could be A cheerleader.

You are not funny.

You are cruel.

You are deliberately Hurting my feelings

And tampering With my emotions.

If you want My opinion, I--

Why in the world would I want your opinion?

You work for him.

I'd rather leave it up To someone more impartial.

I'll ask...This man.

You, sir, What is your name?

Hermie.

Would you be good enough

To step into This office, please?

Hermie?

Herman.

Herman, as in goering?

As in melville.

Good, A literary namesake.

Please, come in. Won't take but a moment.

This gentleman, an expert On the works of melville--

Hermie.

Is making Himself available

For an unbiased Opinion.

Listen, it's not necessary. Your story is lousy--

He'll be the judge Of that!

Right? Right.

Now, listen to this Opening paragraph

And tell me What you think of it.

Take your time.

Consider the importance Of your answer.

Ready?

Mm-hmm.

Begin.

"A fire last night In larabee hall.

"A big fire.

"Flames licking up in An unsuspecting sky.

"The moon licking--

"Looking down in panic, Terror, and madness.

"And now, Mustn't each of them--

"Us, ask himself And herself,

"How can we live Literally dead with fear?

"How can we climb A staircase when we know

"That at less than a Moment's notice or quicker,

"That the building Can go up in flames

"Or down in ashes?

"These are the questions.

What is the answer?"

Et cetera, et cetera, Et cetera. There.

Right.

Well, this man here,

This paragon Of literature,

He claims that What I've written

Is sensationalistic,

Unclear, And not grammatical.

Well, he's not Altogether wrong.

See that? He agrees with you.

I want to thank you for Your help, herr goering.

Auf wiedersehen.

No more ace girl reporters.

She wasn't my idea.

Well, she wasn't mine.

Can I help you?

No.

Can I help you?

I don't know. I've Written in high school,

And I thought maybe I could catch on here

As some kind Of reporter.

Ok, we'll try you.

Uh, go ahead, fill one Of those things out, ok?

Whose idea was she?

Hers.

No more ace girl reporters, Alright?

Ok.

And so we can See clearly

How in all of his plays,

Eugene o'neill was writing On 2 levels.

First, to entertain His audience.

And second, To do honor to freud.

Now, why do I say that?

I'll tell you Why I said that.

Because o'neill Was a student

Of both drama and freud.

Are there examples?

Yes. Take o'neill's play, The emperor jones,

Written on 2 levels.

Now, what was The first level?

Action! Action, showing jones In flight from the natives

Whom he had duped.

How did he dupe them?

I'll tell you How he duped them.

He duped them By telling them

That he was going to lead them To glory, to glory.

♪ mairzy doats and dozy doats And liddle lamzy divey ♪

♪ a kiddley divey too, Wouldn't you? ♪

♪ mairzy doats and dozy doats And liddle lamzy divey ♪

♪ a kiddley divey too, Wouldn't you? ♪

♪ if the words sound queer And funny to your ear ♪

♪ a little bit jumbled.. ♪

Ok, so you got my job.

I hope that pleases you.

You think it's Going to be easy

Working for Those midget minds?

I'm talking to you, Herr goering.

It was a cheap trick Criticizing my writing.

But you asked For my opinion.

I thought you'd lie.

Why should I lie?

Why should you Tell the truth?

Would you like A cup of coffee?

Why would I like A cup of coffee?

You're crazy.

What's your first story Going to be about?

Oh, I thought I'd-- Excuse me.

I thought I'd write about The big fire in larabee hall.

There was no big fire In larabee hall.

It was in The wastebasket,

And they put it out In 5 minutes.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I had To write something.

I mean, nothing happens On this campus.

I have to take an event And give it

A little color, Excitement, flair.

I mean, that's how you Sell newspapers, you know.

Yeah, but this one's free.

So what?

Are you sure you Don't want some coffee?

No, thanks. I've got A class in 5 minutes.

Nice to see you again

And really good luck With your writing.

If you'd like some help

In making a dull story Invigorating,

Give me a call.

Do you know About athletics?

No, but what difference Does that make?

Auf wiedersehen.

Oh, hey, Where do I call you?

At the sorority house, Gamma upsilon.

My name is julie.

It'll help If you know that.

What happened to you?

Really, terry.

♪ a kiddley divey too, Wouldn't you? ♪

I have no interest In this college jazz.

As a result, my grades Are headed for a new low.

Gonna finish up With a torrid f-minus.

Hello, hermie.

Let's go get a beer.

It's a death wish, You want to flunk out.

True, but since I promised My old man I'd stay in school,

I decided to give My athletic prowess a whirl.

So girding my powerful loins And donning an iron jock,

I tried out for The football team

And I made it.

What position?

Any one I want.

I could be the coach If I want.

My mother could be All-american here.

Hermie, we have a tailback, Jack scroggins,

I believe he's blind.

He can throw the ball A mile,

But he can't see past The line of scrimmage.

I'm telling you, It's a freak show.

So the coach asks me To be blocking back.

What I do is I drop back To protect scroggins,

And while I'm doing that,

I scan the field For possible receivers.

Then when I spot one,

I shout to scroggins Where to throw the ball.

Like, uh, short to the right

Or deep down the middle.

It's like edgar bergen And charlie mccarthy.

Yeah.

[sighs]

Come on, Let's go get a beer.

Oh, we got a letter From benjie today.

From somewhere In the pacific.

He's gonna get killed, You know that, don't you?

It's occurred to me.

Yeah, so I don't want To talk about it anymore, ok?

Ok.

Hermie?

Hmm?

Look, I know we agreed Not to discuss our sex lives,

But, uh, well, I need some advice.

Ok.

Where to begin?

Well, as you know,

I don't do well With intelligent broads.

I never did.

It's never Bothered me though

Because I think there's An indirect relationship

Between the size of the brain And the size of the boobs.

So I'm not even trying with Any of these betty coeds.

What I'm doing is making out Heavily with a real dummy.

Hey, but with Tremendous boobs.

She's not in school?

No. I don't think she ever Finished grade school.

What does she do?

Everything.

No. Where does she work?

She doesn't.

I think she escaped From an asylum.

All I know about her

Is she picks me up In her car at 4 p.M.,

She drives me to a garage And rapes me.

It's all very charming, But I'm not sure how long

I'm going to be able to go on With these rendezvous

After a long day of blocking For old blind ass scroggins.

Where'd you meet her?

In the bakery.

I was feeling kind Of horny and aggressive

And I pointed out, now, As graciously as I could,

That I thought she had A wild pair of cupcakes.

Next thing I knew We were off to the races.

Her name's glenda.

She helps me forget.

Jesus, oscy, What's happening to you?

I don't know.

Maybe it's change of life.

I'm gonna take a shower. A nice long shower.

I'm feeling kind of low.

Alright, Let's go get a beer.

No, I don't want to Disturb your studying.

I'm all through studying.

Then I don't want to disturb Your newspaper writing.

I'm all through writing.

Then go to sleep.

I don't want To go to sleep.

Then why don't We go get a beer?

♪ blackbird ♪

♪ bye bye ♪

The little rat.

Somewhere in the pacific.

Where do you suppose?

Beats me.

Know what I think?

Nobody knows What you think.

Jesus christ, hermie Act a little more mature.

We're under age here.

Anyway, I bet he's using Our old code.

You know, the lemon juice.

Lemon juice? Why would he do that?

To let us know Where he is.

I'll bet it's all written Here in lemon juice,

And he's just waiting for us To figure it out.

If he's not supposed To reveal

What theater of Operations he's in,

Then why would he go Against the rules?

Cause he's not a little Goody two shoes like you are.

We'll soon see. Jesus christ!

God damn v-mail paper.

What the hell are you Pouring beer on it for, hermie?

To put out The god damn fire, ok?

Yeah, why didn't you Use your beer?

I grabbed The nearest one.

Yeah, then why didn't You wee-wee on it?

It wasn't handy.

Now we'll never know.

What the hell's wrong With you, anyway?

I don't know. Maybe I'm pregnant!

What's the matter, I'm embarrassing you, hermie?

Shut up.

Think people are Looking at you, huh?

Little goody two shoes.

You never thought You'd get mixed up

With a pregnant Freshman, did you?

Shut up!

Ok, wait a minute, Hermie, hold it.

I think I'm going to vomit.

You better Get downwind.

If you vomit, You're on your own.

I'll leave you here to die.

Ok, maybe I won't vomit.

I'll sing.

♪ pack up all your Cares and woes ♪

♪ there he goes, Runny nose ♪

♪ bye, bye, benjie ♪

Hello, julie?

This is herr goering Calling.

Uh, from the front?

Yes, the fuhrgave me Your phone number

And I was thinking How would it be

If you and I joined forces On saturday night?

Oh, oh, I see.

Oh, well, then how does Friday night strike you?

Oh, oh.

What?

Sure. How do I get there?

You have a car?

Ok, I'll be downstairs.

Half an hour?

Oh, listen, do you know Where I live? Hello?

You've never really been Away from home, have you?

A couple of months Of summer camp.

I made belts and ashtrays And learned about trees.

Good, trees, I approve of that.

This isn't your first Time away from home.

Oh, I've been To schools!

Your daddy's rich?

Yeah, an' my ma Is good-lookin'.

Ah, this is, ah, A sugar maple tree.

Oh?

Excuse me. I think I have Something in my shoe.

Hey!

Listen, I'm honored To be out with you.

What?

Well, I'm flattered That you picked me out.

In case you Haven't noticed,

There aren't many men On campus.

Well, there's enough.

Most of them are older Than I am.

You're probably older Than I am.

I'm...I happen to be The youngest one

In my family.

I was just 18.

Happy birthday.

I'd say sycamore.

This is a sycamore tree.

Oh, I thought You'd be shy.

Well, I am.

Oh, sure.

But where we come from,

What we try and do is...

Establish our masculinity Right off.

Oh, oh.

It's late, ok?

Ooh, ooh.

Coach: dig it in, Dig it in, dig it in.

Come on, hurry it up, Hurry it up.

Come on, I said.

Get 'em up, get 'em up, Get 'em up.

Dig it in! Come on, get moving.

That's the idea! Get those knees up.

Ready, set, hike! Hubba, hubba, hubba!

Player: come on, scroggins, Keep your eye on the ball!

27, 43...

52...

Hut, hut, hut, Hut, hut...

Unh!

What are you writing? They're--

They're terrible! They're ridiculous!

Well, it may look That way to you...

Well, how does it look To you?

Ooh! Aah!

Aah! You hit me on the hand!

25, 33, 48, hut, hut...

Jesus, scroggins--

Uh-uh.

25, 32, 41, Hut, hut--

37, 48, hut, hut.

I got it!

Oscy: deep, deep, Deep into the left!

[whistle blows]

Well, it's not As bad as it looks.

Oh, no?

No, it's worse.

Well, who Do you play first?

The wacs.

They're a 2 Touchdown favorite.

Come on, oscy. I'm Trying to write a story.

Yeah? Well, as long As you're writing,

How about taking Down my resignation?

That's a good idea.

Come on, you can't quit!

It's quit or die. Take this down:

"I, number 49, Being of sound mind

And busted back--"

Yeah, I know that--

I'm tellin' you We gotta get--

"Being of busted back,

"Do hereby request That I be transferred

"To the girls' Field hockey team

"Where I can get in A little body contact

And a lot of trouble."

Listen, gang, it's None of my business,

But how come you 2 Aren't in a fraternity?

Oh, well, uh, Pardon the expression,

But we're homos.

Well, you play football That way.

Touché.

Tell her, oscy,

Tell her The fraternities

That you're Interested in.

You know, the one with The rubber bumper.

Yeah, right, that was it.

Beta rubber bumper, right.

Hmm. Well, the 2 Of you are missing out.

Well, for one thing, That rooming house food

Has got to be poison.

The trick is to get into The right fraternity.

Which one's that?

The one I pick for you.

And that's all there is To it?

No, there's your Initiation.

What's that?

Well...

Man: this night marks your Separation from boyhood.

Some of you will survive

And go on to become true Members of phi sigma nu.

Others of you will fall By the wayside, so to speak.

Now, if there are any among You that have any doubts

As to his ability to withstand These tests of character,

Or if for any reason, You wish to drop out now...

Then please step forward.

You have 5 seconds.

Well, then, Let the games begin...

Gentlemen, We have our orders.

It's a dangerous assignment

And a great test of your Skill.

Also, these bombs Are expensive

And very hard to come by.

So make every one count.

Choose your targets.

Consider the altitude And wind velocity.

There should be no flak Though there is a full moon.

Ready?

Bombs away.

[whistle of falling object]

[shouts from Fraternity brothers]

Brother: very good.

One for berlin. A mannheim.

Brothers: ♪ we did it before ♪

♪ and we will do it again ♪

♪ we've got A helluva job to do ♪

♪ and we did it before ♪

♪ and we will do it again ♪

Alright, men, Are we ready?

Ok, ok. Ok.

Now stand up straight, That's it, that's it.

Come on, mister, Come on.

All shoes removed. All shoes removed.

All shoes removed.

Ow.

That's it. That's it. Now!

Let us, In orderly fashion,

March into This diving bell.

Ok, well, one at a time, One at a time.

Step lively!

Come on, gentlemen, Come on.

Very good, ok. Ok, very good.

In you go, in you go, In you go.

That's it, that's it. That's it.

Right in there, that's it.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Room for one more.

Brains before beauty.

I--I don't have a nickel.

I'll lend it to you.

You...

The both of you, Let's go.

Well, I have halitosis.

It'll kill Those poor boys.

Well, in you go Or it's 20 whacks

With the sacred paddle.

Come on.

Yeah, well, I do have an Important call to make.

Step lively. Come on.

Let's go. Let's...Go. That's it.

Let me know when My 3 minutes are up.

Good, good, in you go. Ok, ok.

Pledge: get off my foot.

Ok. Ok, now...

The object of the game is,

When the telephone rings, One of you must answer.

Find out which one The telephone call is for.

Pass the receiver to that man And complete the call. Ok?

Pledge: hey, somebody Let go of my hand.

Second pledge: Who's on my hand?

There's no time limit.

Take as long As you wish.

Third pledge: Let me outta here!

Fourth pledge: Open the door!

[rings]

The phone, get the phone!

Get the phone. Get the phone.

[rings]

Hello? Who do You want to talk to?

Jesus christ, It's for don ameche!

Pledge: oh, let me outta here!

This particular competition

Is called The ice and the olive.

Now each team Is comprised of 4 men

And consists of one block Of ice and one olive.

Now the object of the game Is for each man, in turn,

To pick up the olive From the ice,

March it around the hat Rack at the end of the room

And then re-deposit The olive on the ice,

Where the next man Will do likewise.

Alright? Line up.

And remove your clothes.

Ahem.

Hold it. Hold it, hold it.

Yes? Question.

Ah, begging your pardon, Sir, but, uh...

Why must we Take off our clothes?

Oh, I forgot. I forgot, I forgot.

You may not use your hands To pick up the olive.

Or your toes.

Or your mouth.

Or your ears.

Or your nose.

What's left?

Your ass.

You're kidding?

[laughs]

This fraternity crap

Is beginning to lose Its charm, hermie.

I've got frostbite. Frostbite of the ass.

You're lucky, I don't even have one.

Those 25 whacks didn't Help my emotions much.

You know, if crazy marty Hadn't dropped the olive,

We'd have won.

Took him half an hour To get back in the race.

Kid's got no coordination.

I mean, none whatsoever.

Oh, well, you win A few, you lose a few.

[laughs]

Ow! Ow!

Here we have 8 little bells.

One for each of you.

Pretty?

I asked you If they were pretty.

Yeah...Beautiful.

Uh, thank you.

[bell jingles]

It's key of "C", I believe.

And they will be attached To your own family jewels,

Making each of you, If you're all there,

Look somewhat like A small pawnshop.

If you know what I mean.

And they will remain Attached

Until your initiation Is concluded.

Oh, yes, There's one more thing.

One more thing, One more thing.

To your individual Musical instruments

Will also be attached This tag.

Now there is a small, 2-word directive

On this tag. It reads: "Pull me."

Yes, that's what it reads, "Pull me."

Now this tag, As you might imagine--

I see some of you Already ahead of me--

This--this tag will be hung

Over the outside Of your belt buckle

And must always be in Full view of the public.

It must always Be readily available

To all music lovers

To see and to read And to act upon,

So that everyone Can play on you

His or her favorite song.

N'est ce pas?

Alright, one for you, sir.

There you go.

To the bells, bells, Bells, bells,

Bells, bells, bells,

To the tintinnabulation Of the bells.

I'm told the clove hitch Is best.

A bell?

A bell.

Uh, a bell.

A dumb, stupid bell.

You and your dopey Fraternity.

And you won't wear it?

Never, a--a line Has to be drawn.

[laughs]

I think it's funny.

Yeah, well, So does oscy.

Before he's finished,

He'll be eligible For a purple heart.

A purple what?

Ohhh.

Oh, you think You're funny!

Keeping in mind that the old Balladeers took their songs

From one town to the next,

Was it any wonder that new Stanzas were improvised

And added along the way?

Well, was it?

Of course not!

Nor were these added Verses necessarily true.

For much of the lyrics Were little more than

Pure fiction.

Now why do I say that?

I'll tell you why.

Because though Much of these ballads

Are accepted as gospel,

It becomes patently obvious

[bell jingles]

That they have little Or no basis in truth.

[bell continues jingling]

And who were These troubadours

Who carried these songs From hamlet to hamlet?

I'll tell you who.

They were roustabouts and Drunkards and drifters

And ne'er-do-wells,

Oafs, louts, Clods, and bumpkins!

[second bell jingles]

And yet, how many of the laws And legends with us today

[third bell jingles]

Are founded On the accepted veracity

Of these very untruths,

Merely because they rhymed Or because it was possible

To set them To some pleasant tune?

[bell jingles]

I'll tell you how many.

[jingling grows louder]

For example, this ballad Was sung in the days of '49,

On the western migrations.

Now, who composed it And when are unknown.

The lyric is:

"Don't you remember Sweet betsy from pike?

"Who crossed the big Mountain with her lover ike.

With 2 yokes of oxen, A large yellow dog..."

[bells toll]

♪ you ♪

♪ I'm writing every day ♪

♪ white shadows I view ♪

Who's oscy dancing with?

Georgette Something-or-other.

Is it serious?

No, she's just here For the occasion.

His real girl Doesn't dance,

Though I think she does A lot of other things.

♪ oh, the wall ♪

♪ I built around you ♪

♪ along the santa fe trail ♪

[mairzy doats plays]

Wait.

What? What's the matter?

I have to tell you Something.

Hermie!

♪ a kiddley divey too, Wouldn't you? ♪

♪ if the words sound queer And funny to your ear ♪

What?

They're playing our song.

Mairzy doats?

Yes, mairzy doats.

How'd that get To be our song?

It was playing In the cafeteria

The first time we met.

We met in the Newspaper office.

True, but nothing Was playing.

So we had to wait.

That's the rule,

The first song we hear When we're together,

That becomes our song.

Mairzy doats?

And a little lambsy divvy.

I won't have it.

Well, you've got it.

And you've got Something else, too,

To commemorate This great moment.

Your fraternity pin.

An engagement ring?

[jingles]

Your bell!

Which until tonight Has never been rung.

Hermie, I love it.

All my life I've wanted A fraternity man's bell.

Where do I wear it?

That's your problem.

Oh. Ohh.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry-- This thing.

You ok? Yeah.

Hermie: ooh!

[julie screams]

Jesus, why couldn't your Father get you a cadillac

Like all the other Rich girls?

A guy'd have to be A contortionist to--

[horn honks]

Listen, julie, This is stupid.

I can't go back Like I did last night.

I'm sorry, hermie.

I know you're sorry, but That doesn't change things.

We gotta--

Something has to be done...

About our relationship.

Now you know it as well As I do, don't you?

Don't you?

Mm-hmm.

It's not good for us.

It's not--

I love you.

But we've been saying that To each other for a week.

A week, 7 days.

I know, I know.

Maybe we better go back.

Oh, my hair.

I love you.

[engine won't start]

Look, you come over here.

I love you.

[music blares]

[stations change]

Man: ...Ends our program.

Don't run down The battery.

What about my battery?

[stations change]

There's no more music In the world.

[female opera singer sings]

[tango music plays]

Julie, I wish you Could be more romantic.

It's about time.

Patience, brother, Patience.

All you gotta do is stay In line, please.

Man: how about it, oscy?

Put out the cigar, shelly.

Where the hell you think You are, a poolroom?

Look, keep it down, ok? No unnecessary noise.

Unnecessary noise Is not necessary.

Hey, hermie.

I was beginning to think You wouldn't show.

Hey, hermie's here. Hold That place for him, please.

Wha-what is it?

It's glenda.

What?

You wanted to meet Glenda, right?

Well, meet glenda.

Oscy, that--

She's a whore, hermie.

Took me a while To figure it out myself,

But good ol' glenda, She's a whore.

[applause and whistles]

Hold this.

Fast work! Come on, get it out.

What you mean?

You know what I mean. 2 bucks. Let's go.

Ok, go on in.

And no funny stuff. In and out, got it?

Let's have your money Ready, lads,

And fear not, there's Enough for all.

Come on, pull yourself Together, marty,

You can do this.

Will you not look at me Like that, hermie.

It was her idea.

Look, she needs the money To complete her education.

She wants me to back her.

Wants me to book her

Into every fraternity House on campus.

Which I'll do If she lives.

Excuse me.

Marty.

[boys boo]

Don't worry about it, Kid,

There's always tomorrow.

Oscy. Yeah?

Is glenda-- What?

Is she in our room?

Jesus, hermie,

I couldn't send her To a stranger, could I?

We gotta get her outta there!

Why?

Get her outta that room!

Jesus, hermie, she Came special to see you.

I'm going with julie, Remember?

What's that matter?

Every guy here is goin' With someone.

Except maybe marty, He's goin' with himself.

You got one minute To get her outta my room!

It's my room, too, Hermie.

Don't get so goddamned Possessive!

One minute!

You don't know what You're doing, hermie,

I'm tellin' you.

Look before you leap, A girl's future is at stake.

And what are you worried About anyway?

She'll pay us back For our expenses.

What expenses?

[door opens and closes]

Is there a woman up there?

A-ah--ah--ah--ah, Professor otis,

Whatever gave you that idea?

Well, we'll see.

Glenda: hey, oscy!

My god, there Is a woman in there!

Narrow-minded, Medieval imbeciles.

They still think babies Come from macy's.

Well, maybe if you Hadn't kept insisting

That glenda was a nun.

It was all I could think of.

But, oscy, a nun?

Ah, I took a shot, Hermie,

Had to say something.

Who the hell cares Anymore anyway?

Inside of a week, I'll be in the army,

Fighting to preserve Stupid institutions

Like this.

With all due respect, Hermie,

I'm very pleased to Have packed it all in.

Think your father will Ever speak to you again?

Yeah, he'll be ok.

Secretly, He's very proud.

It's just that He gets overpowered

By my mother.

Anyway, I'm 18, I don't Need their permission.

Well, do I have Everything?

I don't want to forget My freshman beanie

Or my songbook.

[car horn honks]

Well, hermie,

The prodigal son Is leaving.

Off to battle, what?

So long, oscy.

Think of me whenever You see our fighting men

In the newsreels.

Yeah.

Be good in school, Will you?

Oh, I wish people'd Stop telling me that.

Oh, what I mean Is you're the last

Of the terrible trio.

You know, First benjie, now me.

[car horn honks]

Well, it's only temporary.

Anyway, we're Depending on you.

'cause, uh, well, You're a great mind.

Yeah.

I'll drop you a line.

Ok.

Oh, and say, hermie,

Would you look in On glenda?

As soon as she gets out Of jail.

Sure.

She really Is a good kid,

Even though She is 32 years old.

Oh, and say good-bye To julie for me.

I like that girl, Hermie.

Yeah, I do, too.

Hey, and Maybe I'll write you

In lemon juice, ok?

Ok, that'd be a good idea.

[horn honks]

Well, keep 'em flyin', Boy.

Hubba, hubba.

So long, oscy.

Yeah, see you.

Hey, marty!

Marty: yeah?

You in the bathroom?

Yeah.

So long, kid.

So long, oscy. Give 'em hell!

[tapping]

[taps]

[hums]

[continues to hum]

You studying?

No, I'm only Trying to study.

What are you "Trying" To study?

Nothing.

How's your battery?

It's running A little low,

Like my grades.

Want to go for a drive, Big boy?

If you don't cut it out,

I'm going to flunk This exam.

I'm marginal, as it is.

Is this all You're worried about?

I can show you ways To pass exams

You never even dreamed of.

Ah, I see You're interested.

You mean cheat?

Shh.

For example, There's the one

Where you slip All your crib notes

Inside your loafer.

Voila!

Then there's the one Where you write them on a card

That fits in the palm Of your left hand.

The card is tied To a string,

Which goes up through The sleeve of your sweater,

Across your chest,

And is tied to your belt.

And if the proctor Gets suspicious,

You kind of raise your hand,

Scratch your head,

And voila! The card Scoots up your sleeve

And is gone, As if by magic.

Oh, hermie, you've never Cheated, have you?

No.

What is to become of you?

Very little.

Come on. Let's go For a sexy drive.

It'll be marvelous,

And I'm almost out of gas, Right now.

I-I've Created a monster.

[giggling]

Hi.

Ahem!

I guess you're surprised To see me moved in.

I knew somebody Would be moving in.

They took a vote, And you won me, ok?

Ok.

Truth of it is,

They're sorry They pledged me.

I'm the flying dutchman Of phi sigma nu.

Take it easy, marty. It's ok.

If you want this bed, You can have it.

No. This is my bed. That's your bed.

Are you going To sleep like that?

Aren't you going to Take your clothes off?

[yawning]

They've been off.

[yawns]

No kidding?

Did you get laid?

Go to sleep, marty.

Come on, hermie. Tell me.

Will you go to sleep?

That's all I do Is sleep.

Then go to the bathroom.

Ha ha.

Very funny.

[ticking]

Proctor: feeling ill?

A little.

Want to take another exam On another day?

Oh, no. It's ok. It's, uh, you know,

It's a hot flash.

Proctor: ahem!

What's wrong?

Nothing.

How'd you do On your exams?

I don't know how I did.

I won't know For 2 weeks,

And I told you that Yesterday.

Well, I thought maybe You had an exam today.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Ok.

Nothing's wrong.

Hermie.

Uh-huh?

I have a problem.

If you tell me You're pregnant,

I don't know you.

No, I'm not pregnant,

At least, Not to my knowledge.

Then what's your problem?

Well, there's this boy I used to know,

And he's in the army.

He's a corporal.

How exciting.

He's on a furlough,

And, well, he's Coming up to see me.

When?

This weekend. I tried to tell him,

But he wouldn't take no For an answer.

This weekend's The autumn dance.

I know, and I tried To tell him.

Really, I did.

Well, try again.

Hermie, I can't Go with you.

Please try To understand.

He doesn't mean Anything to me.

Really, it's Strictly platonic.

He's a boy From back home,

And I wrote him Letters because...

He's in the army, Hermie.

Bully for him.

It'll only be For one night.

He's coming up Saturday.

I can see you On friday--

Who are you seeing sunday?

I think you're being Very unreasonable.

You do?

Yes, I do.

Well, that's tough!

I've been giving up All my time to you.

I've joined A fraternity for you.

What are you talking About?

I've cheated on exams Because of you.

Because of me? What are you--

I bought 2 tickets To that god damned dance

Because of you At 3 bucks apiece!

Well, you can Return them.

No!

Then you can take Someone else!

I won't mind!

That's very nice of you!

Do you want to think over That last remark?

No.

No, I don't.

I've said it The best way I know how.

If you can't--

When are you going To grow up?

Why do you make it So impossible

For me to explain?

You do that a lot, You know.

You lock yourself up Like a little boy!

No one can reach you. No one!

Here! Never let it be said

That I don't think about Our boys in the service!

Have a good time!

I--

You're a baby!

A baby!

[engine starts]

Take your stupid tickets!

[laughter]

Fibber mcgee on radio: Take a short run at him

And wham!

[doorbell rings]

Molly on radio: Bull's eye. Shoot again.

Fibber mcgee: That was the doorbell.

Whoever it is, Don't let them delay me.

I got to finish packing.

Molly: alright. Come in!

Hi, hermie.

Molly: Hello, mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams: hello, Mrs. Mcgee. Hello, mcgee.

Mcgee: hi.

Mr. Williams: oh, I see You're packing up.

Going somewhere?

Mcgee: no, no. I just pack a few bags

Now and then so I won't Run out of toothpaste.

You see, every time I...

[inhales deeply]

Hi!

Hey, there's a picture Here on page 63, wow!

I don't know.

If they grow girls like this In alabama,

What the hell Am I doing in connecticut?

Playing with yourself.

And I suppose you don't?

I don't have to.

Come on. Don't kid me, buster.

You haven't seen Your ever-lovin' in a week.

Here. Want to borrow Esquire?

Page 63. Give yourself A good 3-second thrill?

Marty, this is The last room

In this Fraternity house

That'll have you,

So don't push your luck, Unless you want to move

Into the bathroom Permanently.

Ha ha.

Oh, I forgot To tell you.

A package Arrived for you.

Where is it?

Let's see.

I think I put it In the closet.

Miss julie Dropped it off

2 days ago.

You're about an inch away From instant death.

I hope you know that.

Found it!

[jingles]

[jingles]

I trust It's bad news.

Listen, you creep,

I've been putting off Telling you this,

But you stink.

This whole room stinks.

For a guy who spends So much time in the bathroom,

How about taking a shower Every now and then?

Well, I take showers.

With soap?

Yeah, with soap.

Lux soap, If you must ask.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Like The movie stars use.

Well, maybe you ought to try

The kind that lassies uses!

Oh, yeah?

[sniffing]

What--what-- That can't be you, marty.

What the hell is it?

It's my laundry.

Your laundry?!

Yeah, my laundry.

With all I have to do Around here,

Sometimes I forget To take it out.

You guys, jesus, I just Don't understand--

Two more days and this shit Can walk out of here!

Ok. I'll take it out

First thing In the morning.

More I cannot do.

You'll take it out tonight!

Hermie, stop this! Hermie!

Damn, this stuff Has trenchfoot!

Hermie, stop that!

Somebody died in here A year ago!

You're nothing Without oscy!

[telephone rings]

Out!

Nothing! And to get away From you,

He dropped out Deliberately!

O-u-t, marty! Out!

Ok. First thing In the morning.

I'll pay you To move out tonight.

For 23 cents, You got a deal!

Out!

[ring]

Hello. County nut house. Who?

It's for you. I hope you're drafted!

Hello!

Yes.

Oh, hello.

Ok.

Yeah, I'm here.

Alright, I'll come home Right away.

Yeah, I'm ok.

Thank you for calling, Uncle nat.

Good-bye.

Fraternity brother: Hey, was that for me?

No.

What's the matter?

My father died.

Oh, hi.

Hello, hermie.

Let me take Your coat.

Thank you.

Where should I Put the cake?

Put it in The kitchen, susie.

I'll take this inside.

[whimpering]

[whimpering]

Yeah, it's me.

I couldn't make The funeral, hermie.

I couldn't get away. I'm sorry.

Oscy! How are you?!

I'm ok. How are you?

I'm ok.

I'm sorry I never wrote you.

I was ashamed.

I'm stationed At governor's island, hermie.

Governor's island.

Practically in the middle Of new york city.

Can you believe that?

Me, a born combat soldier

Stationed On governor's island?

I come home 4 nights a week In the dark.

Hey, come on. Sit down.

What do you do?

I don't know If you're ready for this.

I'm a clerk-typist.

You like that?

A clerk-typist with A poison oak-leaf cluster.

Stupid army idiots.

I tried to tell them I ran a whorehouse,

Hoping they'd see I was Officer material.

Yeah?

No. They said I'd have To be a clerk-typist.

You know, I can't type 5 words a minute,

And 3 of those Are misspelled.

The enemy has to be Awfully stupid

To be losing the war To the u.S. Army.

Well, we all have To do our part, I guess.

They also serve Who sit and type.

Yeah.

How's it going?

Well, I've been

Looking through My father's things.

What happened?

It's weird.

He came home, Sat down at the table,

Smiled at my mother, And died.

He was only 45 years old.

I don't think That's very old.

Well, he was a nice guy.

It's weird. I mean, There's a war on.

Guys are Getting killed.

Who expects His father

To die Of a heart attack?

I don't know.

It's weird.

Well, what happens now?

Well, I'll stay a few days,

And then they want me To go back to school.

I want to go Into service.

You know that.

Yeah. Well, maybe you Should think it over.

You know, Not act too hasty.

You could end up On governor's island,

And take my word For it, hermie.

You're better off In that crummy school

Than you are In the crummy army.

Say, did you look up Glenda, like I asked you to?

Yeah.

How is she?

I couldn't find her.

She must've left town, On a rail.

Yeah. Yeah, no sense In her staying around

Where she wasn't Appreciated.

Christ, she could've Made me a fortune.

Say, hermie, I got My father's car.

Let's go out. I'm in uniform.

We can get in any bar.

Your father was a good guy And a man,

And I think he'd Appreciate it if his son

Went out and hoisted A few to his memory.

Hermie, how long You going to do this?

Do what?

Mope.

I don't want to be Disrespectful, old top,

But you're going to have To shape up sooner or later.

Your father's gone!

Let's go out and hoist a few To his fond memory.

♪ ahh ♪

♪ everywhere a kiss In the moonlight ♪

♪ in the grand and glorious And notorious ♪

♪ south american way ♪

♪ the latin team of love Is like a dream of love ♪

♪ the stream of love Is in their veins ♪

♪ if I will dream For you--♪

That crummy song follows me Wherever I go.

It's a curse, hermie.

It's a gypsy curse.

Ha ha! I'll drink to that.

Good man.

♪ their music ♪

♪ while the gauchos Sing it ♪

♪ jamal is swingin' The south american way ♪

Take it away.

[mambo plays]

Man: hey, come on here!

[laughing loudly]

Mambo!

We're all expecting Great things of you, hermie.

You're a fantastic man And a credit to your race.

Fantastic.

You're right.

What?

I am fantastic.

True.

To benjie!

And your old man.

My old man.

And the tables Down at maury's.

Yeah.

And the chairs.

And the shuffle-broads!

Shuffle-broads?

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[crash]

Let's get out of here.

Alright. Alright, you guys,

When your names are called,

Shuffle into the truck.

Franconi, o'reily,

Wesoloski, ramirez,

Swenson, patty, Maxine and levine!

Alright, sonny.

Now you can be A big boy, too.

[all laugh]

[crash]

Hey, now, son.

Hey!

Aah!

[screaming and shouting]

[skips to America the beautiful]

[skips to another song]

[skips to as the caissons Go rolling along]

[record skips again]

[bells toll]

[groaning]

[both laughing]

Shut up. Shut up.

If those guys

Are all we've got going For this country,

Oh, we're In a lot of trouble.

Yeah, I hate to break The news to you, tiger.

You were knocked On your ass 5 times!

5?

Yeah.

Well, I got up, Didn't I?

4 times.

Bullshit!

Right. That's exactly What it looked like to me.

What are you Slowing down for?

Maybe we're there.

Wow!

We've been driving On an empty gas tank.

It's not easy.

Where the hell are we?

Maybe we're not there.

We better ask somebody.

Roger.

[thud]

Hey, look, oscy--

Oscy?

Hey, oscy, Are you ok?

Come on. We're in no Condition to drive.

Don't be silly.

Come on. Hop in.

Wait.

Oh.

Ugh!

Wait a second.

Stay there.

Ok.

[grunting]

Oh, don't move.

That way.

Come on.

Right.

Start walking. Come on.

Come on, soldier.

Hup 2, 3, 4. Hup 2, 3, 4.

Marching, marching, Marching, marching!

Hup 2, 3, 4.

Marching, marching, Marching, marching.

Hup 2, 3, 4.

[laughing]

Marching, marching!

Shh!

[whispering] Hup 2, 3, 4.

Marching, marching, Marching, marching.

Hup 2, 3, 4.

Hup 2, 3, kick.

Hup 2, 3, kick. Hup 2, 3, kick.

Hup 2, 3--

I can't remember His face, oscy.

I don't know what He looked like.

A whole life went by, And I didn't see it.

Come on. Take it easy, It's ok.

We never touched.

I wanted to.

What do I do now To remember him,

Look at snapshots?

[softly] Hey, it's alright.

It's ok.

I mean, What the hell is that?

What the hell Is that, oscy?

Sit down.

Here.

I--I really don't Understand it.

It's going To be alright.

It doesn't make Any sense.

It's going to be alright. You can be anything at all.

Well, explain it To me, oscy.

I--I don't kn--

That's ok. Come on. Lie down.

There you go.

Now, come on. Go to sleep.

[bell clangs]

[horn honks]

[honking]

Need a lift, sir?

Carry your bag, sir?

Marty told me.

I called your home,

And your mother said What train you'd be on.

She was very nice.

I'm very sorry, hermie.

Thank you.

I'm glad you're back.

I don't know.

Maybe I flunked out.

No. I checked your grades.

You passed.

How close was it?

You were in the top 90%.

Congratulations.

Oh, hermie.

Hey, you're going to Run down your battery.

Never.

[door closes]

[door closes]

[engine won't start]

[bell clangs]