All language subtitles for Class of -44 (1973)_x264

Young voices:
I pledge allegiance

To the flag

Of the united states
Of america

And to the republic
For which it stands...

One nation,

Indivisible,

With liberty
And justice for all.

[drumroll]

♪ oh, say, can you see ♪

♪ by the dawn's early light ♪

♪ what so proudly we hailed ♪

♪ at the twilight's
Last gleaming? ♪

♪ whose broad stripes
And bright stars ♪

♪ through the perilous fight ♪

♪ o'er the ramparts
We watched ♪

♪ were so valiantly streaming ♪

♪ and the rockets'
Red glare ♪

♪ the bombs bursting in air ♪

♪ gave proof
Through the night ♪

♪ that our flag
Was still there ♪

♪ oh, say, does that
Star-spangled banner ♪

♪ yet wave ♪

♪ o'er the land of the free ♪

♪ and the home ♪

♪ of the brave? ♪

There are those of you
Who will go on to college

Or out
Into the business world.

But others of you

Will add your number
And energies

To the service
Of your country...

And will do battle.

As we draw the curtain

On your last days
In high school,

We, your faculty,

Note with sadness
And pride

How many
Of the class of '44

Have already joined
The forces of freedom.

You are the last class
To have entered our school

When the world
Was still at peace.

And we trust

That you will be the last
Young men and women

To be graduated

When the world
Was still at war.

Woman: as you go
Through these doors

For the last time,
Be aware

That our school will
Always be judged by you.

Try to measure up

To its traditions
And its reputation.

Face the future
With the knowledge

That someone up there
Is always with you,

Alongside you.

Have faith in his power
And wisdom.

And whether you are
At home or in college

Or on some far-flung
Battlefield,

Know that there is one

Who will give you
Courage and faith

In whatever you do.

The little bird has
Scratched at the window,

For nature has told him

That it is time
For him to go,

To make his own way,
To plot his own course.

Nor must we attempt
To impede his flight,

For it is natural
That he go.

There. We have
Opened the window,

And now...He is gone.

Perhaps, one day,

When he is hungry
Or sad...

Perhaps he will return
From whence he came.

And until that time,
We will listen constantly

For his dear, sweet song.

[playing fanfare]

♪ mine eyes have seen
The glory ♪

♪ of the coming
Of the lord ♪

♪ he is trampling out
The vintage ♪

♪ where the grapes of wrath
Are stored ♪

♪ he has loosed
The faithful lightning ♪

♪ of his terrible swift sword ♪

♪ his truth is marching on ♪

Girls: boys:
♪ glory ♪ ♪ marching ♪

♪ glory, ♪ marching,
Hallelujah ♪ marching ♪

♪ glory ♪ ♪ marching,
Marching ♪

♪ glory, ♪ marching,
Hallelujah ♪ marching ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ his truth is marching on ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ glory ♪

♪ glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ his truth ♪

♪ is ♪

♪ marching ♪

♪ on ♪

♪ his truth ♪

♪ is marching ♪

♪ on ♪

[various conversations
Overlapping]

[someone whistles
To dog]

[radio newscaster speaks
Of the war, indistinctly]

[dog barks]

[people talking]

Shh! Shh!

Radio: in the pacific,

The allied mix
Continues to strike,

And the japanese war machine
Can find no way...

[becomes indistinct]

Excuse me.

Yay!
Yay!
Yay!

Yay!
Yay!

[cheering and applause]

Hermie,
How you doin'?

Alright.
How are you?

Not bad.

Hi. How's
Your party?

Ok, I guess.

Hi, herm.

Hi.

Where's benjie?

I don't know.
My mother made

Orange layered cake
Special for him.

[coughs]

I don't suppose
It matters,

But this place
Is a fire trap!

Who's smokin'
The cigar?

Girl: I am!

Ha ha ha!
[coughs]

You know what? My mother's
Havin' my diploma bronzed.

Can that be done?

Your mother's
The one who can do it.

Anybody
Seen lorraine?

Lorraine?
Who's she with?

Jerry miller.

Jerry miller?
Try the bedroom.

That lorraine,
Huh, hermie?

Ever get her
Into your bedroom?

Oh, shut up, oscy.

I tell you, I'd like
To bronze her.

Hey, hermie.
Yeah?

When you goin' in?

Never.

Well, what's the matter?
Aren't you 1-a?

I'm going to college.

Educational deferment,
First class.

Oh. Um...Well,
That's, uh...

Very nice.

I mean...I mean,
That's ok.

Cut it, paulie. If you
Weren't so stupid,

You'd be goin'
To college, too.

Well, there's
A war on. Remember?

Yeah. I heard
The rumor.

If you enlist, you
Can pick your own branch.

I'm goin' oh, yeah?
Into the navy.

As what,
A torpedo?

Ha ha!
Ha ha!

Good ol' oscy.
Excuse me.

You'll have scurvy
In a week.

Yeah, yeah.

Damn it. Hermie,
What the hell

We doin,
Goin' to college?

We're goin' to complete
Our education.

My education
Complete.

I know when columbus
Discovered america,

And I've been laid
6 times.

Look, we're officer
Material, you and me.

In 90 days, we
Could be lieutenants.

Yeah, well, you didn't have
To pass your final exam.

I'll never know
How it happened.

Copied everything
From louie scofield.

Dumb, stupid
Louie scofield.

He fails,
And I pass.

I didn't want
To go to college.

Just wanted to get
Out of high school.

Who cares?

Phyllis ettinger,
Where are you?

Advance and
Be recognized.

Here I am,
Down here!

We're leaving.

Ok.

I grabbed her boobs
Right in her father's car.

Little did he know,
Huh?

Hey, I'll meet you at
Carson's about midnight, ok?

Yeah, ok.

Hubba-hubba. Gangway,
Folks, and don't panic,

But there's
A small fire upstairs.

A nazi pyromaniac got
Ahold of our diplomas,

And now we gotta do
The whole thing over.

[woman singing
On phonograph]

It's the truth. You can't
Dance when you're like that.

I mean, not without her
Knowin' you're excited.

Christ. I was holding
Her real close,

But my ass was in
The goddamn punchbowl.

[tap tap]

Hi, herm.
Hi.

Which one of you morons
Played that song?

I'm in the mood
For romance.

Gotta tell you, hermie,
I hate that song.

It's not my nickel.

Morons!

[all talking
At once]

Hey, how'd
You make out?

I hit the horn 3 times
And the jackpot once.

Where's benjie?

Oh, on the moon
Somewhere.

Poor kid. Doesn't know
Which end's up.

[dick haymes
Romantic song plays]

Oh, there it is--
Our song.

Me and phyllis.

Love affair's gotta have
A song to mark it, hermie.

No foolin'.

Yep. To make it
Memorable.

From now on, whenever
I hear that song,

I'll think
Of phyllis ettinger.

That's a good way
To ruin a good song.

Hi.

Hi, benjie.
Hi.

I'll have what he's having.
What are you having, hermie?

Heartburn.

Banana split.
Vanilla cream,

Fudge sauce.
And you?

Nothin'.

Oh, a glass of water,
Too, please.

Sorry I missed
Your party, hermie.

Oh, forget it.

His mother made orange
Layered cake special for you.

5 of 'em.

That was
Very kind of her.

Please give your
Mother my thanks.

Oh, you can give them
To her yourself.

There's still 2 left.

I may not be able
To thank her personally.

This is it.

This is what?

I've enlisted.

In what,
The boy scouts?

The marines.

The marines?

Yeah.

U.S. Marines?

Come on, oscy.

They took you?!

Jeez, oscy.

Hey, war's over,
Folks! We lose!

What the hell you doin'
Enlisting in the marines?

I want to fight for my country.
Is that so goddamn strange?

Benjie, you're only 17.
Aren't you underage?

Yeah, you're mother'll put
The kibosh on it in 5 minutes.

She'll make roosevelt
Sorry he was ever born.

I got permission.

From your mother?

Well, my father
Convinced her.

When's the divorce?

Hey, what's this?

Hey, don't get any
Chocolate on that.

It's a writing kit.
It's from my mother.

It's part of the deal.
I don't want to send

My mother any chocolate-
Covered letters.

When did you enlist
Anyway, benjie?

During the pledge
Of allegiance?

A couple of weeks ago,
I went to times square.

They have
A recruiting booth.

They were
Very nice about it.

If I tell my folks that your
Folks gave their permission--

Christ, benjie,
The marines took you.

You can't go anywhere
By yourself.

Those days are over,
Oscy. Over and gone.

They'll shave your head,
Your beautiful, lovely hair.

You're mother'll
Take the gas pipe.

How come the marines?

I wanted an outfit

With some honor,
Some tradition.

I know it's corny,
But it's done.

I'm looking
Forward to it.

I want to get
Into battle.

I don't care where.

Guadalcanal,
The philippines,

It doesn't matter.

Wherever they
Send me, I'll go.

I'm going to be
Very proud.

I report tomorrow.

♪ from the halls
Of montezuma ♪

♪ to the shores
Of tripoli ♪

♪ we will eat our
Orange layer cake ♪

♪ in the air,
On land, and sea ♪

[trolley bell rings]

Radio: more than
15,000 german prisoners

Have now been counted.

American heavy bombers

Have been out
In great strength today.

More than 1,300 of them

Attacking strategic targets
In germany.

They bombed through cloud

And met
No fighter opposition.

This is the greatest
Daylight force

Ever to be set against
German targets.

The marauders and havocs

Have continued to bomb
Ammunition dumps

And communications
Behind the line.

Some of those mar--

What the hell did
You do that for?

I'm sick of
News bulletins.

Well, the label's supposed
To go on the carton.

Yeah, we'll
Send the radio.

I oughta
Send them you.

You think benjie's in it?

I think he's
Still in boot camp.

It's only a month.

Little son of a gun

Hasn't sent us one letter,

Not one lousy
Chocolate-covered letter.

We got to break out
Of here, hermie.

Lefty's got a shiv.

We'll make our move
In the laundry room, 8:00.

Shut up.

And when the war
Is over,

It will all be
One world.

And even though
There still may be

Some small political and
Philosophical differences,

Every country will know
That this war

Will have been
The last war.

And that will have
Made it all worthwhile.

All the lives lost will
Not have been in vain.

Bernice.
What?

What the hell you knitting,
A studebaker?

Radio: well,
The bases are f.O.B.,

Full of brooklyn,
And 2 and 2 on dixie walker.

2 out, the bottom
Of the ninth inning,

Dodgers trailing
The giants 5-1.

Ace adams delivers

And it's a long line drive
Into right center.

Johnny rucker
Going to his left.

Mel ott going
To his right.

But the ball slams against
The wall in between them.

Here comes ed staggi
To score.

And goody rosen
Right behind him.

Walker going to third.
Velaz scores.

Hausman has the ball

And throws it to mancuso
Covering home.

Walker slides in
To bite the dust

And he's out!

Walker is out and
The giants win 5-4.

And here comes durocher.

Hi.

Mr. Burger said it was
Lunchtime so I could come in.

Benjie! Benjie!

Hey!

Name, rank, and
Serial number, sir.

Same old oscy.

Benjie, you look
So beautiful.

When did you
Get home?

Last night.

Are you on furlough?

'fraid not,
I'm on my way back.

Oh, you going over?

Well, maybe.
It looks that way.

The pacific?

Well, come on now.

Hermie, look at this,
He's got a stripe.

He's a p.F.C.

Hey, come on,
It's lunchtime.

Let's go out
And have a big lunch.

No, no, let's talk about it
On the way to the subway.

I got to catch
The brighton express.

Oh! Oh!

Hey, can't you even have
A hamburger or a hot dog?

No, I just came by
Because,

Well, I never
Wrote to you.

They keep us
Pretty busy.

Gee, benjie, it says
Here you're a marksman.

What did you get it for,
Bowling?

Come on, if I'm late,
It'll be my stripe.

Your stripe!

Oh!

Hey, what are you doing?

Come on.
Come and get it. Come on.

Give me my hat!

Come on, come on,
Here, here, come on.

Oh, excuse me.

Here, benjie.

Here you go.

This is it.

Hey, benjie, look,
It's on me.

We just
Never got around

To getting
You a present.

Ok.

Take care of yourself,
Hermie.

Yeah.

Know 'em dead
In college.

Yeah.

Oscy?

Take care, benjie.

See ya.

Privileges, privileges,
More privileges!

I want to speak
To a lawyer!

You dirty rat, so you're
The one who told the warden.

Shut up.

Say, listen, I'll drop
You both a line, ok?

Yeah, ok.

Yeah, send me a samurai
Sword, would you, benjie?

Sure thing.

Hermie?

Good-bye, benjie.

Oscy?

See you, benjie.

Take it easy.

Do you believe he's gone?

Do you believe benjie
Put on a marine suit,

Got on a train,
And went away?

Christ, I think
He's a looney tune.

He got lost going
To coney island, twice.

What will it be,
Boys?

Uh, let me have a hot dog
With no sauerkraut

And an orange drink.

Right.

Hey, what the hell
Is it with you, hermie?

You haven't said 10 words
All summer.

Oh, I'll have the same.

My mother found us
A rooming house near campus.

Yeah, we're not there yet.

One fast subway ride
To times square

And I'm a god damned
Leatherneck.

Yeah, well, my father
Wants me to get in

At least one year of
College. So does yours.

The war's gonna
Be over soon.

Ok, so the war's over.

Christ, don't you
Want to go in?

Sure, I want to go in,

But right now,
It's out of my hands.

My father wants me
To get in one--

Your father, your father.

What about
Your brother-in-law?

He's in the war
Up to his ass.

How can you look
Your sister in the eye?

I'll tell you, hermie,

Going into the army
Makes a lot more sense

Than going to college
With a bunch of 4-fs.

Yeah, well, I think that
Each man is different.

Each of us has
His own road to go.

Oh, oh, that's
What you think, huh?

Yeah.

You go with the wind,
Hey, boy?

Yeah, I do.

Whichever way
The wind blows, right?

Right.

Anywhere you hang
Your hat's home, right?

Right!

You got it made, man.

I got it made.

[car horn honking]

Come on, let's go!

Hey, come on, hermie.

Jeez, the train's not
Going to wait for us.

Alright!

Let's go. Hubba-hubba.

Come on. I've been waiting
40 cents on the lousy meter.

Let's go, speedy.

Christ, we'll blow
Our whole tuition money

Just waiting around.

Well, there they go.

Is this trip
Really necessary?

[train whistle blowing]

What the hell
Are you reading?

Cheers: songs and cheers
For football games.

You're kidding.

You asked.

You gonna wear
A chrysanthemum, too?

Shut up, oscy.

[people laughing]

This should be
A troop train.

We should be
On a troop train.

We should be reading
Army field manuals,

Not learning
College cheers.

I'm telling you,
Hermie,

I give this college
2 weeks.

Vendor: candy bars,
Chewing gum, soda pop.

Ok, I expect you
To know

4 cheers
And a marching song

Within the hour,
Joe college.

You know why you'll
Never be in the army?

Why?

Cause you're already
Section 8.

Oh?

Do you ever listen
To yourself?

No. Got better
Things to do.

Anybody else?

Candy bars,
Chewing gum, soda pop.

Hey, you got any
College cheers?

All out.

Joe college, give the
Man one of your cheers.

Rah rah rah, sis boom bah.

That'll be 15 cents.

Up yours.

Candy bars,
Chewing gum, soda pop.

Let me see that.

Vendor: anybody else?

Does it say here there are
20 girls for every man?

And that it's
Our patriotic duty

To keep those girls
Properly serviced

So that when
The boys get home,

They won't get tetanus
Cause the girls are rusty.

Hermie? I see you're
In another one of your

World-famous
Death-like trances.

I'm just more selective
Than you.

You're the most
Undiscriminating guy I know.

You'll grab anything
That moves.

That's right.
And you'll be 93

And still making
Your selection.

We'll see.

Now there are 6 other boys
Living in this house,

So you respect their privacy
And they'll respect yours.

Bathroom's down the hall.

You'll find clean towels
There, et cetera.

Now, there's
A pay telephone downstairs.

Uh, breakfast is served
Between 7 and 8:00 on weekdays

And between 8 and 10:00
On weekends.

3 ration coupons
Per boy, per meal.

Well, oscar, herman,

I want to wish you good luck
At the university.

Both: thank you.

Fantastic. My mother's missing
Identical twin right here.

Utterly fantastic.

Any preference
On the beds?

Nah. Hey, how do you
Get a girl up here?

It's 2 floors up
And a sheer drop

Into a bottomless pit.

No girls allowed.

Yeah? Well, if I find
A girl I like,

I'm fitting her up
With suction cups

And leaving
The window unlocked.

Come on, hermie, let's
Take a stroll on campus.

See what this college
Jazz is all about.

[tower bell tolling]

I don't know
If I'm staying.

Oh, yeah?

If this school isn't
Everything I dreamed of--

If linda darnell
Isn't head cheerleader,

And tyrone power
Doesn't make

5 touchdowns
Against potawatomi,

I'm gathering up
My ration coupons

And transferring my body
To dartmouth.

Just like that, huh?

Yep, just like that.

Morning, boys.

Morning,
Mrs. Gilhuly.

Put your books away.

Now help yourself
To a piece of toast

And pass it around.

Hey, don't read
At the table.

Now, look what
I have for you.

What is it?

Creamed chipped beef
On toast.

Doesn't that
Look delicious?

That's beautiful.

You help yourself
And pass it along.

Now, there's milk
On the table

For whoever wants it.

Who'd like a nice
Hot cup of coffee?

I would, mrs. Gilhuly.

Alright, darling.

That's a boy.

Everybody helping
Themselves to milk?

Drink your juice.
Here you are.

How is it?

Smells delicious.

One of my best dishes.

Good morning.

Gilhuly:
My late husband's favorite.

Morning.

Here you are, dear.

Thanks.

Now who else
Would like coffee?

I have found
That the textbooks

Are not in
The proper sequence,

So tomorrow, please read
Chapters 1, 2, 4, 8, and 9.

We'll do chapters 3, 5, 6, and 7
On thursday.

What did he say?
Shh.

The following thursday,
We'll have a written test

On all 5 chapters.

What did he say?

The following tuesday,

We'll have an oral test
On chapters 6 through 9.

That'll be all
For today.

All: sir!

Professor: I don't mind
Not having sugar in coffee.

Sir?

It's not having coffee
In the coffee that hurts.

Don't I know you
From somewhere?

Do you go to school here?

You were in the cafeteria
This morning, right?

Ok, enough with
The lovemaking.

Your place or mine?

You washed out
Again, huh?

I don't know.

This morning, a fraternity
Expressed an interest in me.

Oh, yeah? Which one?

I don't know.

I think it was
Beta screwa whore.

They got such stupid names.

Maybe it was
Humpa rubba bumper.

You know
How to do that.

Oh, very funny.

[tower bell tolls]

Hi. Uh, where's
The editor's office?

It's right over there.
Just take a seat, please.

Thank you.

[man and woman arguing]

Are you waiting
To see the editor?

Yes.

What has that got to do
With cheap sensationalism?

Yes, and grammar?

My grammar is as
Good as the next guy.

Look, save yourself
Some trouble.

You're not a writer

And you're
Not a reporter.

You're a cute kid.

You could be
A cheerleader.

You are not funny.

You are cruel.

You are deliberately
Hurting my feelings

And tampering
With my emotions.

If you want
My opinion, I--

Why in the world would
I want your opinion?

You work for him.

I'd rather leave it up
To someone more impartial.

I'll ask...This man.

You, sir,
What is your name?

Hermie.

Would you be good enough

To step into
This office, please?

Hermie?

Herman.

Herman, as in goering?

As in melville.

Good,
A literary namesake.

Please, come in.
Won't take but a moment.

This gentleman, an expert
On the works of melville--

Hermie.

Is making
Himself available

For an unbiased
Opinion.

Listen, it's not necessary.
Your story is lousy--

He'll be the judge
Of that!

Right? Right.

Now, listen to this
Opening paragraph

And tell me
What you think of it.

Take your time.

Consider the importance
Of your answer.

Ready?

Mm-hmm.

Begin.

"A fire last night
In larabee hall.

"A big fire.

"Flames licking up in
An unsuspecting sky.

"The moon licking--

"Looking down in panic,
Terror, and madness.

"And now,
Mustn't each of them--

"Us, ask himself
And herself,

"How can we live
Literally dead with fear?

"How can we climb
A staircase when we know

"That at less than a
Moment's notice or quicker,

"That the building
Can go up in flames

"Or down in ashes?

"These are the questions.

What is the answer?"

Et cetera, et cetera,
Et cetera. There.

Right.

Well, this man here,

This paragon
Of literature,

He claims that
What I've written

Is sensationalistic,

Unclear,
And not grammatical.

Well, he's not
Altogether wrong.

See that?
He agrees with you.

I want to thank you for
Your help, herr goering.

Auf wiedersehen.

No more ace girl reporters.

She wasn't my idea.

Well, she wasn't mine.

Can I help you?

No.

Can I help you?

I don't know. I've
Written in high school,

And I thought maybe
I could catch on here

As some kind
Of reporter.

Ok, we'll try you.

Uh, go ahead, fill one
Of those things out, ok?

Whose idea was she?

Hers.

No more ace girl reporters,
Alright?

Ok.

And so we can
See clearly

How in all of his plays,

Eugene o'neill was writing
On 2 levels.

First, to entertain
His audience.

And second,
To do honor to freud.

Now, why do I say that?

I'll tell you
Why I said that.

Because o'neill
Was a student

Of both drama and freud.

Are there examples?

Yes. Take o'neill's play,
The emperor jones,

Written on 2 levels.

Now, what was
The first level?

Action! Action, showing jones
In flight from the natives

Whom he had duped.

How did he dupe them?

I'll tell you
How he duped them.

He duped them
By telling them

That he was going to lead them
To glory, to glory.

♪ mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey ♪

♪ a kiddley divey too,
Wouldn't you? ♪

♪ mairzy doats and dozy doats
And liddle lamzy divey ♪

♪ a kiddley divey too,
Wouldn't you? ♪

♪ if the words sound queer
And funny to your ear ♪

♪ a little bit jumbled.. ♪

Ok, so you got my job.

I hope that pleases you.

You think it's
Going to be easy

Working for
Those midget minds?

I'm talking to you,
Herr goering.

It was a cheap trick
Criticizing my writing.

But you asked
For my opinion.

I thought you'd lie.

Why should I lie?

Why should you
Tell the truth?

Would you like
A cup of coffee?

Why would I like
A cup of coffee?

You're crazy.

What's your first story
Going to be about?

Oh, I thought I'd--
Excuse me.

I thought I'd write about
The big fire in larabee hall.

There was no big fire
In larabee hall.

It was in
The wastebasket,

And they put it out
In 5 minutes.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I had
To write something.

I mean, nothing happens
On this campus.

I have to take an event
And give it

A little color,
Excitement, flair.

I mean, that's how you
Sell newspapers, you know.

Yeah, but this one's free.

So what?

Are you sure you
Don't want some coffee?

No, thanks. I've got
A class in 5 minutes.

Nice to see you again

And really good luck
With your writing.

If you'd like some help

In making a dull story
Invigorating,

Give me a call.

Do you know
About athletics?

No, but what difference
Does that make?

Auf wiedersehen.

Oh, hey,
Where do I call you?

At the sorority house,
Gamma upsilon.

My name is julie.

It'll help
If you know that.

What happened to you?

Really, terry.

♪ a kiddley divey too,
Wouldn't you? ♪

I have no interest
In this college jazz.

As a result, my grades
Are headed for a new low.

Gonna finish up
With a torrid f-minus.

Hello, hermie.

Let's go get a beer.

It's a death wish,
You want to flunk out.

True, but since I promised
My old man I'd stay in school,

I decided to give
My athletic prowess a whirl.

So girding my powerful loins
And donning an iron jock,

I tried out for
The football team

And I made it.

What position?

Any one I want.

I could be the coach
If I want.

My mother could be
All-american here.

Hermie, we have a tailback,
Jack scroggins,

I believe he's blind.

He can throw the ball
A mile,

But he can't see past
The line of scrimmage.

I'm telling you,
It's a freak show.

So the coach asks me
To be blocking back.

What I do is I drop back
To protect scroggins,

And while I'm doing that,

I scan the field
For possible receivers.

Then when I spot one,

I shout to scroggins
Where to throw the ball.

Like, uh, short to the right

Or deep down the middle.

It's like edgar bergen
And charlie mccarthy.

Yeah.

[sighs]

Come on,
Let's go get a beer.

Oh, we got a letter
From benjie today.

From somewhere
In the pacific.

He's gonna get killed,
You know that, don't you?

It's occurred to me.

Yeah, so I don't want
To talk about it anymore, ok?

Ok.

Hermie?

Hmm?

Look, I know we agreed
Not to discuss our sex lives,

But, uh, well,
I need some advice.

Ok.

Where to begin?

Well, as you know,

I don't do well
With intelligent broads.

I never did.

It's never
Bothered me though

Because I think there's
An indirect relationship

Between the size of the brain
And the size of the boobs.

So I'm not even trying with
Any of these betty coeds.

What I'm doing is making out
Heavily with a real dummy.

Hey, but with
Tremendous boobs.

She's not in school?

No. I don't think she ever
Finished grade school.

What does she do?

Everything.

No. Where does she work?

She doesn't.

I think she escaped
From an asylum.

All I know about her

Is she picks me up
In her car at 4 p.M.,

She drives me to a garage
And rapes me.

It's all very charming,
But I'm not sure how long

I'm going to be able to go on
With these rendezvous

After a long day of blocking
For old blind ass scroggins.

Where'd you meet her?

In the bakery.

I was feeling kind
Of horny and aggressive

And I pointed out, now,
As graciously as I could,

That I thought she had
A wild pair of cupcakes.

Next thing I knew
We were off to the races.

Her name's glenda.

She helps me forget.

Jesus, oscy,
What's happening to you?

I don't know.

Maybe it's change of life.

I'm gonna take a shower.
A nice long shower.

I'm feeling kind of low.

Alright,
Let's go get a beer.

No, I don't want to
Disturb your studying.

I'm all through studying.

Then I don't want to disturb
Your newspaper writing.

I'm all through writing.

Then go to sleep.

I don't want
To go to sleep.

Then why don't
We go get a beer?

♪ blackbird ♪

♪ bye bye ♪

The little rat.

Somewhere in the pacific.

Where do you suppose?

Beats me.

Know what I think?

Nobody knows
What you think.

Jesus christ, hermie
Act a little more mature.

We're under age here.

Anyway, I bet he's using
Our old code.

You know, the lemon juice.

Lemon juice?
Why would he do that?

To let us know
Where he is.

I'll bet it's all written
Here in lemon juice,

And he's just waiting for us
To figure it out.

If he's not supposed
To reveal

What theater of
Operations he's in,

Then why would he go
Against the rules?

Cause he's not a little
Goody two shoes like you are.

We'll soon see.
Jesus christ!

God damn v-mail paper.

What the hell are you
Pouring beer on it for, hermie?

To put out
The god damn fire, ok?

Yeah, why didn't you
Use your beer?

I grabbed
The nearest one.

Yeah, then why didn't
You wee-wee on it?

It wasn't handy.

Now we'll never know.

What the hell's wrong
With you, anyway?

I don't know.
Maybe I'm pregnant!

What's the matter,
I'm embarrassing you, hermie?

Shut up.

Think people are
Looking at you, huh?

Little goody two shoes.

You never thought
You'd get mixed up

With a pregnant
Freshman, did you?

Shut up!

Ok, wait a minute,
Hermie, hold it.

I think
I'm going to vomit.

You better
Get downwind.

If you vomit,
You're on your own.

I'll leave you here to die.

Ok, maybe
I won't vomit.

I'll sing.

♪ pack up all your
Cares and woes ♪

♪ there he goes,
Runny nose ♪

♪ bye, bye, benjie ♪

Hello, julie?

This is herr goering
Calling.

Uh, from the front?

Yes, the fuhrgave me
Your phone number

And I was thinking
How would it be

If you and I joined forces
On saturday night?

Oh, oh, I see.

Oh, well, then how does
Friday night strike you?

Oh, oh.

What?

Sure. How do I get there?

You have a car?

Ok, I'll be downstairs.

Half an hour?

Oh, listen, do you know
Where I live? Hello?

You've never really been
Away from home, have you?

A couple of months
Of summer camp.

I made belts and ashtrays
And learned about trees.

Good, trees,
I approve of that.

This isn't your first
Time away from home.

Oh, I've been
To schools!

Your daddy's rich?

Yeah, an' my ma
Is good-lookin'.

Ah, this is, ah,
A sugar maple tree.

Oh?

Excuse me. I think I have
Something in my shoe.

Hey!

Listen, I'm honored
To be out with you.

What?

Well, I'm flattered
That you picked me out.

In case you
Haven't noticed,

There aren't many men
On campus.

Well, there's enough.

Most of them are older
Than I am.

You're probably older
Than I am.

I'm...I happen to be
The youngest one

In my family.

I was just 18.

Happy birthday.

I'd say sycamore.

This is a sycamore tree.

Oh, I thought
You'd be shy.

Well, I am.

Oh, sure.

But where we come from,

What we try and do is...

Establish our masculinity
Right off.

Oh, oh.

It's late, ok?

Ooh, ooh.

Coach: dig it in,
Dig it in, dig it in.

Come on, hurry it up,
Hurry it up.

Come on, I said.

Get 'em up, get 'em up,
Get 'em up.

Dig it in!
Come on, get moving.

That's the idea!
Get those knees up.

Ready, set, hike!
Hubba, hubba, hubba!

Player: come on, scroggins,
Keep your eye on the ball!

27, 43...

52...

Hut, hut, hut,
Hut, hut...

Unh!

What are you writing?
They're--

They're terrible!
They're ridiculous!

Well, it may look
That way to you...

Well, how does it look
To you?

Ooh! Aah!

Aah! You hit me on the hand!

25, 33,
48, hut, hut...

Jesus, scroggins--

Uh-uh.

25, 32, 41,
Hut, hut--

37, 48, hut, hut.

I got it!

Oscy: deep, deep,
Deep into the left!

[whistle blows]

Well, it's not
As bad as it looks.

Oh, no?

No, it's worse.

Well, who
Do you play first?

The wacs.

They're a 2
Touchdown favorite.

Come on, oscy. I'm
Trying to write a story.

Yeah? Well, as long
As you're writing,

How about taking
Down my resignation?

That's a good idea.

Come on, you can't quit!

It's quit or die.
Take this down:

"I, number 49,
Being of sound mind

And busted back--"

Yeah,
I know that--

I'm tellin' you
We gotta get--

"Being of busted back,

"Do hereby request
That I be transferred

"To the girls'
Field hockey team

"Where I can get in
A little body contact

And a lot of trouble."

Listen, gang, it's
None of my business,

But how come you 2
Aren't in a fraternity?

Oh, well, uh,
Pardon the expression,

But we're homos.

Well, you play football
That way.

Touché.

Tell her, oscy,

Tell her
The fraternities

That you're
Interested in.

You know, the one with
The rubber bumper.

Yeah, right, that was it.

Beta rubber bumper, right.

Hmm. Well, the 2
Of you are missing out.

Well, for one thing,
That rooming house food

Has got to be poison.

The trick is to get into
The right fraternity.

Which one's that?

The one I pick for you.

And that's all there is
To it?

No, there's your
Initiation.

What's that?

Well...

Man: this night marks your
Separation from boyhood.

Some of you will survive

And go on to become true
Members of phi sigma nu.

Others of you will fall
By the wayside, so to speak.

Now, if there are any among
You that have any doubts

As to his ability to withstand
These tests of character,

Or if for any reason,
You wish to drop out now...

Then please step forward.

You have 5 seconds.

Well, then,
Let the games begin...

Gentlemen,
We have our orders.

It's a dangerous assignment

And a great test of your
Skill.

Also, these bombs
Are expensive

And very hard to come by.

So make every one count.

Choose your targets.

Consider the altitude
And wind velocity.

There should be no flak
Though there is a full moon.

Ready?

Bombs away.

[whistle of falling object]

[shouts from
Fraternity brothers]

Brother: very good.

One for berlin.
A mannheim.

Brothers:
♪ we did it before ♪

♪ and we will do it again ♪

♪ we've got
A helluva job to do ♪

♪ and we did it before ♪

♪ and we will do it again ♪

Alright, men,
Are we ready?

Ok, ok. Ok.

Now stand up straight,
That's it, that's it.

Come on, mister,
Come on.

All shoes removed.
All shoes removed.

All shoes removed.

Ow.

That's it.
That's it. Now!

Let us,
In orderly fashion,

March into
This diving bell.

Ok, well, one at a time,
One at a time.

Step lively!

Come on, gentlemen,
Come on.

Very good, ok.
Ok, very good.

In you go, in you go,
In you go.

That's it, that's it.
That's it.

Right in there, that's it.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Room for one more.

Brains before beauty.

I--I don't have a nickel.

I'll lend it to you.

You...

The both of you,
Let's go.

Well, I have halitosis.

It'll kill
Those poor boys.

Well, in you go
Or it's 20 whacks

With the sacred paddle.

Come on.

Yeah, well, I do have an
Important call to make.

Step lively. Come on.

Let's go.
Let's...Go. That's it.

Let me know when
My 3 minutes are up.

Good, good, in you go.
Ok, ok.

Pledge: get off my foot.

Ok. Ok, now...

The object of the game is,

When the telephone rings,
One of you must answer.

Find out which one
The telephone call is for.

Pass the receiver to that man
And complete the call. Ok?

Pledge: hey, somebody
Let go of my hand.

Second pledge:
Who's on my hand?

There's no time limit.

Take as long
As you wish.

Third pledge:
Let me outta here!

Fourth pledge:
Open the door!

[rings]

The phone, get the phone!

Get the phone.
Get the phone.

[rings]

Hello? Who do
You want to talk to?

Jesus christ,
It's for don ameche!

Pledge: oh, let me outta here!

This particular competition

Is called
The ice and the olive.

Now each team
Is comprised of 4 men

And consists of one block
Of ice and one olive.

Now the object of the game
Is for each man, in turn,

To pick up the olive
From the ice,

March it around the hat
Rack at the end of the room

And then re-deposit
The olive on the ice,

Where the next man
Will do likewise.

Alright? Line up.

And remove your clothes.

Ahem.

Hold it. Hold it, hold it.

Yes? Question.

Ah, begging your pardon,
Sir, but, uh...

Why must we
Take off our clothes?

Oh, I forgot.
I forgot, I forgot.

You may not use your hands
To pick up the olive.

Or your toes.

Or your mouth.

Or your ears.

Or your nose.

What's left?

Your ass.

You're kidding?

[laughs]

This fraternity crap

Is beginning to lose
Its charm, hermie.

I've got frostbite.
Frostbite of the ass.

You're lucky,
I don't even have one.

Those 25 whacks didn't
Help my emotions much.

You know, if crazy marty
Hadn't dropped the olive,

We'd have won.

Took him half an hour
To get back in the race.

Kid's got no coordination.

I mean, none whatsoever.

Oh, well, you win
A few, you lose a few.

[laughs]

Ow! Ow!

Here we have
8 little bells.

One for each of you.

Pretty?

I asked you
If they were pretty.

Yeah...Beautiful.

Uh, thank you.

[bell jingles]

It's key of "C", I believe.

And they will be attached
To your own family jewels,

Making each of you,
If you're all there,

Look somewhat like
A small pawnshop.

If you know what I mean.

And they will remain
Attached

Until your initiation
Is concluded.

Oh, yes,
There's one more thing.

One more thing,
One more thing.

To your individual
Musical instruments

Will also be attached
This tag.

Now there is a small,
2-word directive

On this tag.
It reads: "Pull me."

Yes, that's what it reads,
"Pull me."

Now this tag,
As you might imagine--

I see some of you
Already ahead of me--

This--this tag will be hung

Over the outside
Of your belt buckle

And must always be in
Full view of the public.

It must always
Be readily available

To all music lovers

To see and to read
And to act upon,

So that everyone
Can play on you

His or her favorite song.

N'est ce pas?

Alright, one for you, sir.

There you go.

To the bells, bells,
Bells, bells,

Bells, bells, bells,

To the tintinnabulation
Of the bells.

I'm told the clove hitch
Is best.

A bell?

A bell.

Uh, a bell.

A dumb, stupid bell.

You and your dopey
Fraternity.

And you won't wear it?

Never, a--a line
Has to be drawn.

[laughs]

I think it's funny.

Yeah, well,
So does oscy.

Before he's finished,

He'll be eligible
For a purple heart.

A purple what?

Ohhh.

Oh, you think
You're funny!

Keeping in mind that the old
Balladeers took their songs

From one town to the next,

Was it any wonder that new
Stanzas were improvised

And added along the way?

Well, was it?

Of course not!

Nor were these added
Verses necessarily true.

For much of the lyrics
Were little more than

Pure fiction.

Now why do I say that?

I'll tell you why.

Because though
Much of these ballads

Are accepted as gospel,

It becomes patently obvious

[bell jingles]

That they have little
Or no basis in truth.

[bell continues jingling]

And who were
These troubadours

Who carried these songs
From hamlet to hamlet?

I'll tell you who.

They were roustabouts and
Drunkards and drifters

And ne'er-do-wells,

Oafs, louts,
Clods, and bumpkins!

[second bell jingles]

And yet, how many of the laws
And legends with us today

[third bell jingles]

Are founded
On the accepted veracity

Of these very untruths,

Merely because they rhymed
Or because it was possible

To set them
To some pleasant tune?

[bell jingles]

I'll tell you how many.

[jingling grows louder]

For example, this ballad
Was sung in the days of '49,

On the western migrations.

Now, who composed it
And when are unknown.

The lyric is:

"Don't you remember
Sweet betsy from pike?

"Who crossed the big
Mountain with her lover ike.

With 2 yokes of oxen,
A large yellow dog..."

[bells toll]

♪ you ♪

♪ I'm writing every day ♪

♪ white shadows I view ♪

Who's oscy dancing with?

Georgette
Something-or-other.

Is it serious?

No, she's just here
For the occasion.

His real girl
Doesn't dance,

Though I think she does
A lot of other things.

♪ oh, the wall ♪

♪ I built around you ♪

♪ along the santa fe trail ♪

[mairzy doats plays]

Wait.

What?
What's the matter?

I have to tell you
Something.

Hermie!

♪ a kiddley divey too,
Wouldn't you? ♪

♪ if the words sound queer
And funny to your ear ♪

What?

They're playing our song.

Mairzy doats?

Yes, mairzy doats.

How'd that get
To be our song?

It was playing
In the cafeteria

The first time we met.

We met in the
Newspaper office.

True, but nothing
Was playing.

So we had to wait.

That's the rule,

The first song we hear
When we're together,

That becomes our song.

Mairzy doats?

And a little lambsy divvy.

I won't have it.

Well, you've got it.

And you've got
Something else, too,

To commemorate
This great moment.

Your fraternity pin.

An engagement ring?

[jingles]

Your bell!

Which until tonight
Has never been rung.

Hermie, I love it.

All my life I've wanted
A fraternity man's bell.

Where do I wear it?

That's your problem.

Oh. Ohh.

What's wrong?

I'm sorry--
This thing.

You ok?
Yeah.

Hermie: ooh!

[julie screams]

Jesus, why couldn't your
Father get you a cadillac

Like all the other
Rich girls?

A guy'd have to be
A contortionist to--

[horn honks]

Listen, julie,
This is stupid.

I can't go back
Like I did last night.

I'm sorry, hermie.

I know you're sorry, but
That doesn't change things.

We gotta--

Something has to be done...

About our relationship.

Now you know it as well
As I do, don't you?

Don't you?

Mm-hmm.

It's not good for us.

It's not--

I love you.

But we've been saying that
To each other for a week.

A week, 7 days.

I know, I know.

Maybe we better go back.

Oh, my hair.

I love you.

[engine won't start]

Look, you come over here.

I love you.

[music blares]

[stations change]

Man: ...Ends our program.

Don't run down
The battery.

What about my battery?

[stations change]

There's no more music
In the world.

[female opera singer sings]

[tango music plays]

Julie, I wish you
Could be more romantic.

It's about time.

Patience, brother,
Patience.

All you gotta do is stay
In line, please.

Man: how about it, oscy?

Put out the cigar, shelly.

Where the hell you think
You are, a poolroom?

Look, keep it down, ok?
No unnecessary noise.

Unnecessary noise
Is not necessary.

Hey, hermie.

I was beginning to think
You wouldn't show.

Hey, hermie's here. Hold
That place for him, please.

Wha-what is it?

It's glenda.

What?

You wanted to meet
Glenda, right?

Well, meet glenda.

Oscy, that--

She's a whore, hermie.

Took me a while
To figure it out myself,

But good ol' glenda,
She's a whore.

[applause and whistles]

Hold this.

Fast work!
Come on, get it out.

What you mean?

You know what I mean.
2 bucks. Let's go.

Ok, go on in.

And no funny stuff.
In and out, got it?

Let's have your money
Ready, lads,

And fear not, there's
Enough for all.

Come on, pull yourself
Together, marty,

You can do this.

Will you not look at me
Like that, hermie.

It was her idea.

Look, she needs the money
To complete her education.

She wants me to back her.

Wants me to book her

Into every fraternity
House on campus.

Which I'll do
If she lives.

Excuse me.

Marty.

[boys boo]

Don't worry about it,
Kid,

There's always tomorrow.

Oscy.
Yeah?

Is glenda--
What?

Is she in our room?

Jesus, hermie,

I couldn't send her
To a stranger, could I?

We gotta get her outta there!

Why?

Get her outta that room!

Jesus, hermie, she
Came special to see you.

I'm going with julie,
Remember?

What's that matter?

Every guy here is goin'
With someone.

Except maybe marty,
He's goin' with himself.

You got one minute
To get her outta my room!

It's my room, too,
Hermie.

Don't get so goddamned
Possessive!

One minute!

You don't know what
You're doing, hermie,

I'm tellin' you.

Look before you leap,
A girl's future is at stake.

And what are you worried
About anyway?

She'll pay us back
For our expenses.

What expenses?

[door opens and closes]

Is there a woman up there?

A-ah--ah--ah--ah,
Professor otis,

Whatever gave you that idea?

Well, we'll see.

Glenda: hey, oscy!

My god, there
Is a woman in there!

Narrow-minded,
Medieval imbeciles.

They still think babies
Come from macy's.

Well, maybe if you
Hadn't kept insisting

That glenda was a nun.

It was all
I could think of.

But, oscy, a nun?

Ah, I took a shot,
Hermie,

Had to say something.

Who the hell cares
Anymore anyway?

Inside of a week,
I'll be in the army,

Fighting to preserve
Stupid institutions

Like this.

With all due respect,
Hermie,

I'm very pleased to
Have packed it all in.

Think your father will
Ever speak to you again?

Yeah, he'll be ok.

Secretly,
He's very proud.

It's just that
He gets overpowered

By my mother.

Anyway, I'm 18, I don't
Need their permission.

Well, do I have
Everything?

I don't want to forget
My freshman beanie

Or my songbook.

[car horn honks]

Well, hermie,

The prodigal son
Is leaving.

Off to battle, what?

So long, oscy.

Think of me whenever
You see our fighting men

In the newsreels.

Yeah.

Be good in school,
Will you?

Oh, I wish people'd
Stop telling me that.

Oh, what I mean
Is you're the last

Of the terrible trio.

You know,
First benjie, now me.

[car horn honks]

Well, it's only temporary.

Anyway, we're
Depending on you.

'cause, uh, well,
You're a great mind.

Yeah.

I'll drop you a line.

Ok.

Oh, and say, hermie,

Would you look in
On glenda?

As soon as she gets out
Of jail.

Sure.

She really
Is a good kid,

Even though
She is 32 years old.

Oh, and say good-bye
To julie for me.

I like that girl,
Hermie.

Yeah, I do, too.

Hey, and
Maybe I'll write you

In lemon juice, ok?

Ok, that'd be a good idea.

[horn honks]

Well, keep 'em flyin',
Boy.

Hubba, hubba.

So long, oscy.

Yeah, see you.

Hey, marty!

Marty: yeah?

You in the bathroom?

Yeah.

So long, kid.

So long, oscy.
Give 'em hell!

[tapping]

[taps]

[hums]

[continues to hum]

You studying?

No, I'm only
Trying to study.

What are you "Trying"
To study?

Nothing.

How's your battery?

It's running
A little low,

Like my grades.

Want to go for a drive,
Big boy?

If you don't cut it out,

I'm going to flunk
This exam.

I'm marginal, as it is.

Is this all
You're worried about?

I can show you ways
To pass exams

You never even dreamed of.

Ah, I see
You're interested.

You mean cheat?

Shh.

For example,
There's the one

Where you slip
All your crib notes

Inside your loafer.

Voila!

Then there's the one
Where you write them on a card

That fits in the palm
Of your left hand.

The card is tied
To a string,

Which goes up through
The sleeve of your sweater,

Across your chest,

And is tied to your belt.

And if the proctor
Gets suspicious,

You kind of raise your hand,

Scratch your head,

And voila! The card
Scoots up your sleeve

And is gone,
As if by magic.

Oh, hermie, you've never
Cheated, have you?

No.

What is to become of you?

Very little.

Come on. Let's go
For a sexy drive.

It'll be marvelous,

And I'm almost out of gas,
Right now.

I-I've
Created a monster.

[giggling]

Hi.

Ahem!

I guess you're surprised
To see me moved in.

I knew somebody
Would be moving in.

They took a vote,
And you won me, ok?

Ok.

Truth of it is,

They're sorry
They pledged me.

I'm the flying dutchman
Of phi sigma nu.

Take it easy, marty.
It's ok.

If you want this bed,
You can have it.

No. This is my bed.
That's your bed.

Are you going
To sleep like that?

Aren't you going to
Take your clothes off?

[yawning]

They've been off.

[yawns]

No kidding?

Did you get laid?

Go to sleep, marty.

Come on, hermie.
Tell me.

Will you go to sleep?

That's all I do
Is sleep.

Then go to the bathroom.

Ha ha.

Very funny.

[ticking]

Proctor: feeling ill?

A little.

Want to take another exam
On another day?

Oh, no. It's ok.
It's, uh, you know,

It's a hot flash.

Proctor: ahem!

What's wrong?

Nothing.

How'd you do
On your exams?

I don't know how I did.

I won't know
For 2 weeks,

And I told you that
Yesterday.

Well, I thought maybe
You had an exam today.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Ok.

Nothing's wrong.

Hermie.

Uh-huh?

I have a problem.

If you tell me
You're pregnant,

I don't know you.

No, I'm not pregnant,

At least,
Not to my knowledge.

Then what's your problem?

Well, there's this boy
I used to know,

And he's in the army.

He's a corporal.

How exciting.

He's on a furlough,

And, well, he's
Coming up to see me.

When?

This weekend.
I tried to tell him,

But he wouldn't take no
For an answer.

This weekend's
The autumn dance.

I know, and I tried
To tell him.

Really, I did.

Well, try again.

Hermie, I can't
Go with you.

Please try
To understand.

He doesn't mean
Anything to me.

Really, it's
Strictly platonic.

He's a boy
From back home,

And I wrote him
Letters because...

He's in the army,
Hermie.

Bully for him.

It'll only be
For one night.

He's coming up
Saturday.

I can see you
On friday--

Who are you seeing sunday?

I think you're being
Very unreasonable.

You do?

Yes, I do.

Well, that's tough!

I've been giving up
All my time to you.

I've joined
A fraternity for you.

What are you talking
About?

I've cheated on exams
Because of you.

Because of me?
What are you--

I bought 2 tickets
To that god damned dance

Because of you
At 3 bucks apiece!

Well, you can
Return them.

No!

Then you can take
Someone else!

I won't mind!

That's very nice of you!

Do you want to think over
That last remark?

No.

No, I don't.

I've said it
The best way I know how.

If you can't--

When are you going
To grow up?

Why do you make it
So impossible

For me to explain?

You do that a lot,
You know.

You lock yourself up
Like a little boy!

No one can reach you.
No one!

Here!
Never let it be said

That I don't think about
Our boys in the service!

Have a good time!

I--

You're a baby!

A baby!

[engine starts]

Take your stupid tickets!

[laughter]

Fibber mcgee on radio:
Take a short run at him

And wham!

[doorbell rings]

Molly on radio:
Bull's eye. Shoot again.

Fibber mcgee:
That was the doorbell.

Whoever it is,
Don't let them delay me.

I got to finish packing.

Molly: alright.
Come in!

Hi, hermie.

Molly:
Hello, mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams: hello,
Mrs. Mcgee. Hello, mcgee.

Mcgee: hi.

Mr. Williams: oh, I see
You're packing up.

Going somewhere?

Mcgee: no, no.
I just pack a few bags

Now and then so I won't
Run out of toothpaste.

You see, every time I...

[inhales deeply]

Hi!

Hey, there's a picture
Here on page 63, wow!

I don't know.

If they grow girls like this
In alabama,

What the hell
Am I doing in connecticut?

Playing with yourself.

And I suppose you don't?

I don't have to.

Come on.
Don't kid me, buster.

You haven't seen
Your ever-lovin' in a week.

Here. Want to borrow
Esquire?

Page 63. Give yourself
A good 3-second thrill?

Marty, this is
The last room

In this
Fraternity house

That'll have you,

So don't push your luck,
Unless you want to move

Into the bathroom
Permanently.

Ha ha.

Oh, I forgot
To tell you.

A package
Arrived for you.

Where is it?

Let's see.

I think I put it
In the closet.

Miss julie
Dropped it off

2 days ago.

You're about an inch away
From instant death.

I hope you know that.

Found it!

[jingles]

[jingles]

I trust
It's bad news.

Listen, you creep,

I've been putting off
Telling you this,

But you stink.

This whole room stinks.

For a guy who spends
So much time in the bathroom,

How about taking a shower
Every now and then?

Well, I take showers.

With soap?

Yeah, with soap.

Lux soap,
If you must ask.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Like
The movie stars use.

Well, maybe you ought to try

The kind that lassies uses!

Oh, yeah?

[sniffing]

What--what--
That can't be you, marty.

What the hell is it?

It's my laundry.

Your laundry?!

Yeah, my laundry.

With all I have to do
Around here,

Sometimes I forget
To take it out.

You guys, jesus, I just
Don't understand--

Two more days and this shit
Can walk out of here!

Ok. I'll take it out

First thing
In the morning.

More I cannot do.

You'll take it out tonight!

Hermie, stop this!
Hermie!

Damn, this stuff
Has trenchfoot!

Hermie, stop that!

Somebody died in here
A year ago!

You're nothing
Without oscy!

[telephone rings]

Out!

Nothing! And to get away
From you,

He dropped out
Deliberately!

O-u-t, marty! Out!

Ok. First thing
In the morning.

I'll pay you
To move out tonight.

For 23 cents,
You got a deal!

Out!

[ring]

Hello. County nut house.
Who?

It's for you.
I hope you're drafted!

Hello!

Yes.

Oh, hello.

Ok.

Yeah, I'm here.

Alright, I'll come home
Right away.

Yeah, I'm ok.

Thank you for calling,
Uncle nat.

Good-bye.

Fraternity brother:
Hey, was that for me?

No.

What's the matter?

My father died.

Oh, hi.

Hello, hermie.

Let me take
Your coat.

Thank you.

Where should I
Put the cake?

Put it in
The kitchen, susie.

I'll take this inside.

[whimpering]

[whimpering]

Yeah, it's me.

I couldn't make
The funeral, hermie.

I couldn't get away.
I'm sorry.

Oscy!
How are you?!

I'm ok.
How are you?

I'm ok.

I'm sorry
I never wrote you.

I was ashamed.

I'm stationed
At governor's island, hermie.

Governor's island.

Practically in the middle
Of new york city.

Can you believe that?

Me, a born combat soldier

Stationed
On governor's island?

I come home 4 nights a week
In the dark.

Hey, come on. Sit down.

What do you do?

I don't know
If you're ready for this.

I'm a clerk-typist.

You like that?

A clerk-typist with
A poison oak-leaf cluster.

Stupid army idiots.

I tried to tell them
I ran a whorehouse,

Hoping they'd see I was
Officer material.

Yeah?

No. They said I'd have
To be a clerk-typist.

You know, I can't type
5 words a minute,

And 3 of those
Are misspelled.

The enemy has to be
Awfully stupid

To be losing the war
To the u.S. Army.

Well, we all have
To do our part, I guess.

They also serve
Who sit and type.

Yeah.

How's it going?

Well, I've been

Looking through
My father's things.

What happened?

It's weird.

He came home,
Sat down at the table,

Smiled at my mother,
And died.

He was only
45 years old.

I don't think
That's very old.

Well, he was a nice guy.

It's weird. I mean,
There's a war on.

Guys are
Getting killed.

Who expects
His father

To die
Of a heart attack?

I don't know.

It's weird.

Well, what happens now?

Well,
I'll stay a few days,

And then they want me
To go back to school.

I want to go
Into service.

You know that.

Yeah. Well, maybe you
Should think it over.

You know,
Not act too hasty.

You could end up
On governor's island,

And take my word
For it, hermie.

You're better off
In that crummy school

Than you are
In the crummy army.

Say, did you look up
Glenda, like I asked you to?

Yeah.

How is she?

I couldn't find her.

She must've left town,
On a rail.

Yeah. Yeah, no sense
In her staying around

Where she wasn't
Appreciated.

Christ, she could've
Made me a fortune.

Say, hermie, I got
My father's car.

Let's go out.
I'm in uniform.

We can get in any bar.

Your father was a good guy
And a man,

And I think he'd
Appreciate it if his son

Went out and hoisted
A few to his memory.

Hermie, how long
You going to do this?

Do what?

Mope.

I don't want to be
Disrespectful, old top,

But you're going to have
To shape up sooner or later.

Your father's gone!

Let's go out and hoist a few
To his fond memory.

♪ ahh ♪

♪ everywhere a kiss
In the moonlight ♪

♪ in the grand and glorious
And notorious ♪

♪ south american way ♪

♪ the latin team of love
Is like a dream of love ♪

♪ the stream of love
Is in their veins ♪

♪ if I will dream
For you--♪

That crummy song follows me
Wherever I go.

It's a curse, hermie.

It's a gypsy curse.

Ha ha!
I'll drink to that.

Good man.

♪ their music ♪

♪ while the gauchos
Sing it ♪

♪ jamal is swingin'
The south american way ♪

Take it away.

[mambo plays]

Man: hey, come on here!

[laughing loudly]

Mambo!

We're all expecting
Great things of you, hermie.

You're a fantastic man
And a credit to your race.

Fantastic.

You're right.

What?

I am fantastic.

True.

To benjie!

And your old man.

My old man.

And the tables
Down at maury's.

Yeah.

And the chairs.

And the shuffle-broads!

Shuffle-broads?

Ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

[crash]

Let's get out of here.

Alright.
Alright, you guys,

When your names are called,

Shuffle into the truck.

Franconi, o'reily,

Wesoloski, ramirez,

Swenson, patty,
Maxine and levine!

Alright, sonny.

Now you can be
A big boy, too.

[all laugh]

[crash]

Hey, now, son.

Hey!

Aah!

[screaming and shouting]

[skips to
America the beautiful]

[skips to another song]

[skips to as the caissons
Go rolling along]

[record skips again]

[bells toll]

[groaning]

[both laughing]

Shut up. Shut up.

If those guys

Are all we've got going
For this country,

Oh, we're
In a lot of trouble.

Yeah, I hate to break
The news to you, tiger.

You were knocked
On your ass 5 times!

5?

Yeah.

Well, I got up,
Didn't I?

4 times.

Bullshit!

Right. That's exactly
What it looked like to me.

What are you
Slowing down for?

Maybe we're there.

Wow!

We've been driving
On an empty gas tank.

It's not easy.

Where the hell are we?

Maybe we're not there.

We better ask somebody.

Roger.

[thud]

Hey, look, oscy--

Oscy?

Hey, oscy,
Are you ok?

Come on. We're in no
Condition to drive.

Don't be silly.

Come on. Hop in.

Wait.

Oh.

Ugh!

Wait a second.

Stay there.

Ok.

[grunting]

Oh, don't move.

That way.

Come on.

Right.

Start walking.
Come on.

Come on, soldier.

Hup 2, 3, 4.
Hup 2, 3, 4.

Marching, marching,
Marching, marching!

Hup 2, 3, 4.

Marching, marching,
Marching, marching.

Hup 2, 3, 4.

[laughing]

Marching, marching!

Shh!

[whispering]
Hup 2, 3, 4.

Marching, marching,
Marching, marching.

Hup 2, 3, 4.

Hup 2, 3, kick.

Hup 2, 3, kick.
Hup 2, 3, kick.

Hup 2, 3--

I can't remember
His face, oscy.

I don't know what
He looked like.

A whole life went by,
And I didn't see it.

Come on. Take it easy,
It's ok.

We never touched.

I wanted to.

What do I do now
To remember him,

Look at snapshots?

[softly]
Hey, it's alright.

It's ok.

I mean,
What the hell is that?

What the hell
Is that, oscy?

Sit down.

Here.

I--I really don't
Understand it.

It's going
To be alright.

It doesn't make
Any sense.

It's going to be alright.
You can be anything at all.

Well, explain it
To me, oscy.

I--I don't kn--

That's ok.
Come on. Lie down.

There you go.

Now, come on.
Go to sleep.

[bell clangs]

[horn honks]

[honking]

Need a lift, sir?

Carry your bag, sir?

Marty told me.

I called your home,

And your mother said
What train you'd be on.

She was very nice.

I'm very sorry, hermie.

Thank you.

I'm glad you're back.

I don't know.

Maybe I flunked out.

No. I checked your grades.

You passed.

How close was it?

You were in the top 90%.

Congratulations.

Oh, hermie.

Hey, you're going to
Run down your battery.

Never.

[door closes]

[door closes]

[engine won't start]

[bell clangs]