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1
00:00:08,426 --> 00:00:11,054
- I don't know how
Brother Kelvin does it.
2
00:00:11,137 --> 00:00:13,890
My nerves are in
knots right now.
3
00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,433
- I can handle it
if you want me to.
4
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:16,976
- No.
5
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,187
He gave the
responsibility to me.
6
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:23,524
It's my duty to achieve.
7
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:28,821
Hiya.
8
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:32,616
I'll be today's leader for this
ice cream and wiener party.
9
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,828
Also... and this is also Taryn,
10
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,038
if you need anything.
- Hi.
11
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,122
- Where's Kelvin?
12
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,099
- Nothing bad has
happened to him.
13
00:00:39,123 --> 00:00:40,333
He's not dead.
14
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,335
He believes in me
so much, he gave me
15
00:00:42,377 --> 00:00:44,337
this opportunity
to prove myself.
16
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:46,047
- You know, this is good,
17
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:48,174
because we've known
Kelvin for years,
18
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:49,360
but we haven't had the pleasure
19
00:00:49,384 --> 00:00:50,444
of getting to know
you yet, Keefe.
20
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:52,678
- Keefe is a sick break dancer.
21
00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:56,057
- Well, you've
got their respect.
22
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,242
That's the most important thing.
23
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,518
- Most important thing.
24
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,685
- Hey, Blondie!
25
00:01:00,395 --> 00:01:02,146
It is you!
- Oh. Oh, no.
26
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,523
- I know you!
27
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:06,984
- Yeah, buddy.
It's me, Clarence.
28
00:01:07,068 --> 00:01:08,587
I own the Adult Emporium
off the highway.
29
00:01:08,611 --> 00:01:10,291
You cleaned me out a
couple of days back...
30
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:12,081
Bought every last butt
buzzer I had in stock.
31
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,157
- I know.
32
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,343
- You should stop by next week.
33
00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:16,035
We just got some
premium fuck dolls.
34
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,578
Take care, buddy!
35
00:01:24,711 --> 00:01:26,963
- It's not what you think.
36
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,923
It's something we
did with your kids.
37
00:01:32,427 --> 00:01:35,555
Why don't... Why
don't we all enjoy
38
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,141
some ice creams and
wieners together?
39
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,687
- ♪ Praise ♪
40
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,777
♪ Praise ♪
41
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:51,863
- Thank you, sir.
42
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:52,947
Good afternoon.
43
00:01:53,030 --> 00:01:56,617
Pleasure to be a
part of this society.
44
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,245
- Who you plannin' to shoot?
45
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,913
- Ain't shootin' nobody.
46
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:02,099
I'm practicing some
potential moves
47
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,332
from my swearing-in ceremony.
48
00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:05,793
- Like choreography
to music, or...
49
00:02:05,877 --> 00:02:06,919
- No.
50
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,212
This is a very
serious organization.
51
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,007
Cape and Pistol
is the most elite
52
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:12,133
of ministers and pastors.
53
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:13,051
- Mm-hmm.
54
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,136
- You know, my daddy
was a lot older than me
55
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:17,096
when they finally swore him in.
56
00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:18,639
And yet here I am,
57
00:02:18,723 --> 00:02:21,517
my time to shine
finally, motherfuckers.
58
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,145
Nothing can stop me now.
59
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,606
- What the hell are
you doing, dummy?
60
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,608
- Can anybody have any
damn privacy around here?
61
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,569
- Pontius, can you take
Makayla and go somewhere?
62
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:31,486
- Like where?
63
00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:32,796
You said we weren't
allowed in my room.
64
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,989
- You could go outside,
enjoy some nature.
65
00:02:35,073 --> 00:02:36,282
Nature sucks.
66
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,199
Shit's boring.
67
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,160
- You know, you got a
really smart-ass mouth
68
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,721
for a little boy who
didn't get accepted
69
00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:42,955
into one single college.
70
00:02:42,997 --> 00:02:44,308
How come none of
them mouth smarts
71
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:45,958
are in your brain, dickhead?
72
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,044
Look, if you want to be a
winner like your old man,
73
00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:51,172
who's being inducted into a
super exclusive organization,
74
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:52,882
you're going to college.
75
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:54,509
You can pick it or we will.
76
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,009
I bet you the boys
at the Citadel
77
00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:57,553
would split your ass
78
00:02:57,637 --> 00:02:59,931
like a pair of damn
Chinese chopsticks.
79
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,057
- You can pay for classes.
80
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,183
Don't mean I'll go.
81
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,684
- "Don't mean I'll go."
82
00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:05,770
This little Pete Davidson
act you got going on
83
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,355
does not suit you.
84
00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:10,775
Tattoos and a dumb-ass
haircut, it's not original.
85
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:11,651
You're not him.
86
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,528
- I'm not trying to
be Pete Davidson.
87
00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:15,196
- Well, good,
because you're not.
88
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:16,759
Fuck my
parents. Let's go.
89
00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,701
- I do not like his girlfriend.
90
00:03:20,785 --> 00:03:22,954
- No, she definitely
seems like she's a bitch.
91
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,208
- Readin' about Hitler?
92
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,918
No, asshole.
93
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,378
John Adams.
94
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,855
One of the pleasures
of retirement is
95
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:35,007
you don't have to work on
a sermon on Sunday morning.
96
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:36,259
- You seen my boys?
97
00:03:36,342 --> 00:03:37,927
They gonna be late for church.
98
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,012
Even if it is a TV show church.
99
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,431
- They left a couple hours ago.
100
00:03:41,514 --> 00:03:43,348
- Well, where'd they go?
101
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,143
- Getting ready for church.
102
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:57,238
- ♪ When I get tired
and a little lonely ♪
103
00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,991
♪ The world's turned
its cold back on me ♪
104
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,576
♪ When I'm about to swear ♪
105
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:05,538
♪ I ain't got a friend
left to my name ♪
106
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:08,458
♪ Instead of
sinking a little lower ♪
107
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:11,461
♪ I start making
tracks on over ♪
108
00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,963
♪ To a place where the
sun shines day and night ♪
109
00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:17,425
♪ And where I know
I'll hear you say ♪
110
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:20,219
♪ Come on in, baby,
take your coat off ♪
111
00:04:20,261 --> 00:04:22,638
♪ Come on in, baby,
take a load off ♪
112
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:25,349
♪ Come on in, baby,
shake the blues off ♪
113
00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:28,895
♪ I'm gonna love
that frown away ♪
114
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,647
♪ Come on in, baby,
put a smile on ♪
115
00:04:31,731 --> 00:04:34,067
♪ Come on in, baby,
tell me what's wrong ♪
116
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:37,111
♪ Come on in, the blues
will be long gone ♪
117
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:39,238
♪ I'm gonna love
your hurt away ♪
118
00:04:48,372 --> 00:04:50,875
♪ Come on in, baby,
take your coat off, ♪
119
00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,503
♪ Come on in, baby,
take a load off ♪
120
00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:56,297
♪ Come on in, baby,
shake the blues off ♪
121
00:04:56,381 --> 00:04:59,675
♪ I'm gonna love
that frown away ♪
122
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:02,387
♪ Come on in, baby,
take your coat off ♪
123
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:04,889
♪ Come on in, baby,
take a load off ♪
124
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,891
♪ Come on in ♪
125
00:05:26,661 --> 00:05:29,747
♪ Praise the Lord ♪
126
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:34,000
♪ His righteousness at hand ♪
127
00:05:34,085 --> 00:05:37,380
♪ Holy war ♪
128
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:41,342
♪ The battle has begun ♪
129
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:45,138
♪ So praise the Lord ♪
130
00:05:45,179 --> 00:05:51,769
♪ His righteous love has come ♪
131
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,522
- I know it.
132
00:05:55,898 --> 00:05:57,066
- Y'all are crazy!
133
00:05:58,067 --> 00:05:59,193
- Yeah, you're right.
134
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,361
- The haircuts are good.
135
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:01,612
But I don't love those suits.
136
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:03,448
What's that material?
137
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,199
- It's silk, Mama.
138
00:06:05,283 --> 00:06:07,160
- I don't like how shiny it is.
139
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,120
- It's supposed to be shiny.
140
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:10,204
I think.
- It is.
141
00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:11,372
That's considered good.
142
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,040
- Good for a lady's negligee.
143
00:06:13,082 --> 00:06:15,585
A little loud and proud
for me, but that's fine.
144
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:16,627
- Damn, Aunt May-May.
145
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:17,688
You can't ever give it up.
146
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:19,213
Always talking that trash.
147
00:06:19,255 --> 00:06:21,567
- I mean, their lives sure have
improved since coming here.
148
00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,260
- Karl's presenting like a
straight up cunt-smasher now.
149
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:25,470
- Oh...
- Ugh.
150
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,888
- Hi, everybody!
151
00:06:28,723 --> 00:06:29,557
- Peter!
152
00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:31,893
- You got no
business here, Peter.
153
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,226
- I come in peace.
154
00:06:33,269 --> 00:06:35,104
I'm here to
apologize to my sons,
155
00:06:35,188 --> 00:06:36,105
and that's it.
156
00:06:55,792 --> 00:06:57,168
All right, I'll make this quick.
157
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,420
Boys, I'm sorry.
158
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:01,923
I apologize. I was wrong.
159
00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:04,509
I accused you of
bein' betrayers,
160
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,552
and now I know
that it wasn't you.
161
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:07,970
- Who was it, Pa?
162
00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:09,055
- Lucas.
163
00:07:09,097 --> 00:07:11,182
- Fat-ass Lucas.
- Mm-hmm.
164
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,600
- I believe it.
- Hmm.
165
00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:16,020
- And now I'd like you to
come back home with me.
166
00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:18,231
We got a brand-new place.
167
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,525
It's a beautiful old farm.
168
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,110
Like, real nice.
169
00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:23,277
Tons of birds.
170
00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:24,588
- They ain't going
nowhere with you.
171
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:26,447
You go home to
your tons of birds!
172
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,783
- I think the boys can
speak for themselves.
173
00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,202
Well?
174
00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,628
- Papa...
175
00:07:40,670 --> 00:07:43,339
we got a good thing going here.
176
00:07:43,423 --> 00:07:46,092
The Gemstones have
been like family.
177
00:07:46,134 --> 00:07:49,971
- Because they gave you
some fancy haircuts, hmm?
178
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:51,389
Some new clothes?
179
00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:53,474
You think you look
like... Like slick boys?
180
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:54,475
You look silly.
181
00:07:54,559 --> 00:07:57,145
You look plain ridiculous!
182
00:07:58,104 --> 00:08:00,148
- We ain't going, Pa.
183
00:08:01,399 --> 00:08:02,525
Please leave.
184
00:08:02,608 --> 00:08:03,818
- Yeah, read the room, dude.
185
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,486
- You're gonna read
the back of my hand,
186
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,280
you sass me again, Judy!
187
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,465
- You're gonna get your ass shot
188
00:08:08,489 --> 00:08:09,925
if you don't get the
fuck out of here.
189
00:08:09,949 --> 00:08:11,951
- Oh, who's gonna shoot me?
190
00:08:12,994 --> 00:08:13,995
- I am.
191
00:08:14,036 --> 00:08:16,289
- I was about to say
the same fuckin' thing.
192
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,083
- Beat us to the draw.
193
00:08:28,009 --> 00:08:30,178
- Y'all Gemstones
are the rednecks.
194
00:08:32,013 --> 00:08:32,929
Look at you.
195
00:08:36,893 --> 00:08:37,976
Fine.
196
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:43,441
Old Gabriel is
gonna blow his horn,
197
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,360
and when he does, a
reckoning will come.
198
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:49,614
I think he might be
blowing that horn
199
00:08:49,697 --> 00:08:52,283
a little sooner than you think!
200
00:08:55,161 --> 00:08:56,579
Honk!
201
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,000
- Happened so fast,
202
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,322
I didn't have time to shoot him.
203
00:09:02,377 --> 00:09:03,878
Why'd he honk my nose?
204
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,129
- I assume he identified you
205
00:09:05,213 --> 00:09:07,256
as the weakest
person at this table.
206
00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:11,135
- When did you guys get guns?
207
00:09:13,221 --> 00:09:14,764
- "Keefe is creepy.
208
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:17,517
I'm not comfortable
with him around kids"?
209
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,894
I told
you, it's no good.
210
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:24,399
- This... this is bonkers.
211
00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:26,692
What the fudge, Keefe?
212
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,985
You had one job.
213
00:09:28,069 --> 00:09:30,446
It's your only responsibility.
214
00:09:30,530 --> 00:09:31,656
What happened?
215
00:09:32,407 --> 00:09:34,575
- I... I bumped into that fella
216
00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,744
that I bought all the
bullets and the dildos
217
00:09:36,828 --> 00:09:39,247
and the butt buzzers and
the plugs and stuff from
218
00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:40,748
at the porno store,
219
00:09:40,832 --> 00:09:42,750
and he outed me in
front of the parents.
220
00:09:44,419 --> 00:09:46,105
Did you explain that you
bought all this stuff
221
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:46,921
on church business?
222
00:09:46,963 --> 00:09:48,273
- I tried, but I
just couldn't seem
223
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,550
to articulate how buying
bunches of sex toys
224
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,427
was in the best
interest of the church.
225
00:09:52,510 --> 00:09:54,762
- Keefe! Okay.
226
00:09:54,804 --> 00:09:58,015
If you are not
capable of running
227
00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:00,810
Parents and Teens United,
are you really qualified
228
00:10:00,893 --> 00:10:02,270
to be my assistant youth pastor?
229
00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:03,438
- No.
230
00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,314
- Hmm?
231
00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:06,733
- Yes.
232
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:09,110
- This is not good, Keefe.
233
00:10:10,737 --> 00:10:12,989
Speak of this no more.
234
00:10:13,072 --> 00:10:15,408
This kind of talk
makes my A-hole burn.
235
00:10:15,450 --> 00:10:16,951
- I hate to think
I'm responsible
236
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,703
for your A-hole
burning, brother.
237
00:10:21,038 --> 00:10:24,083
- ♪ It's like a
sense of stability ♪
238
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:26,627
- Learn to paint while
you drink fine wines?
239
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:28,272
You always know about
the coolest activities,
240
00:10:28,296 --> 00:10:29,172
Lollipop.
241
00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:32,341
- Well, Beej, your wife
is one of the cools.
242
00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:34,427
- So cool.
243
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:36,679
Do you like my painting?
244
00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:39,390
- Whoa.
- Is that your caca?
245
00:10:39,474 --> 00:10:41,059
- He's my childhood pet, Rags.
246
00:10:41,142 --> 00:10:44,062
- Is Rags an explosive
diarrhea that you named?
247
00:10:44,145 --> 00:10:45,229
- He was my dog.
248
00:10:45,313 --> 00:10:48,024
- Well, I never got the
pleasure to meet Rags,
249
00:10:48,107 --> 00:10:50,485
so that's probably why
I don't recognize him.
250
00:11:03,873 --> 00:11:05,374
It's just my gyno's office.
251
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:06,626
- Oh.
252
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,169
- They're just, like, texting me
253
00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:10,922
about a routine
holes-and-folds checkup.
254
00:11:19,639 --> 00:11:21,432
- Another one?
255
00:11:21,474 --> 00:11:23,476
They sent it twice.
256
00:11:23,518 --> 00:11:25,770
Robots. Uhh.
257
00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,605
So annoying. Don't
send it twice.
258
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:28,665
I already got the appointment.
259
00:11:33,319 --> 00:11:36,739
- Ew, somebody
sent me a dick pic.
260
00:11:36,823 --> 00:11:38,199
I better text this guy back,
261
00:11:38,241 --> 00:11:39,676
let him know he's got
the wrong recipient.
262
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,785
- No, BJ!
263
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,036
Just block it.
264
00:11:42,078 --> 00:11:43,138
- Yeah, but some lucky
gal's missin' out
265
00:11:43,162 --> 00:11:44,539
on that glorious cock shot.
266
00:11:44,622 --> 00:11:46,707
- BJ, that's a perv! Okay?
267
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,835
That's like a old-school
dude in a raincoat
268
00:11:48,876 --> 00:11:50,712
tryin' to flash people
to get his rocks off.
269
00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:54,382
Okay. There, it's blocked.
270
00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:55,717
- Thank you.
271
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,135
- You're welcome.
272
00:12:05,393 --> 00:12:06,436
- Jeez Louise.
273
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:07,479
What was that all about?
274
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,397
- I'm just trying to do
a paint and sip class!
275
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,857
You know what I mean?
276
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,025
It was just, like,
constant medical texts.
277
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,653
How can somebody have a good
time with their husband?
278
00:12:15,737 --> 00:12:19,157
Let's paint and sip.
279
00:12:21,743 --> 00:12:25,913
- The cape shall embrace you
like the arms of Jesus Christ.
280
00:12:25,955 --> 00:12:29,250
You wear it in
celebration of his love.
281
00:12:33,421 --> 00:12:36,382
The pistol gives the
power to take life.
282
00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:39,886
The Lord gave us free
will to do what we choose.
283
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:43,848
Thusly, it is a righteous
man who wears the pistol,
284
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,892
yet does no evil.
285
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:50,271
Jesse Gemstone, under
the eyes of God,
286
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:55,234
you are hereby inducted into
the Cape and Pistol Society.
287
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,503
- Congrats, Jesse.
288
00:13:13,586 --> 00:13:14,670
A made man.
289
00:13:14,754 --> 00:13:16,214
- That's right, finally a part
290
00:13:16,297 --> 00:13:18,049
of the Cape and
motherfucking Pistol.
291
00:13:18,132 --> 00:13:20,968
- Jesse, we don't talk like
that in Cape and Pistol.
292
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,720
- Oh, y'all don't do cuss words?
293
00:13:22,804 --> 00:13:23,805
- No.
294
00:13:23,888 --> 00:13:24,972
My bad.
295
00:13:25,014 --> 00:13:27,034
Thanks for keepin' me in
the dark on that one, Daddy.
296
00:13:27,058 --> 00:13:29,185
Anyway, it was a long ride,
297
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,687
but I knew eventually I
would make it to the top.
298
00:13:31,771 --> 00:13:33,689
Course you knew.
299
00:13:33,773 --> 00:13:36,401
Isn't that some kind of a
given for somebody like you?
300
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:37,860
- I'm sorry. How so?
301
00:13:37,944 --> 00:13:40,488
- Well, maybe because
you're Eli Gemstone's son.
302
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,281
Maybe that's got
something to do with it.
303
00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:43,282
- Nuh-uh.
304
00:13:43,324 --> 00:13:44,992
I earned this on my own merits.
305
00:13:45,034 --> 00:13:46,261
I run one of the
largest churches
306
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:47,620
in the entire country, okay?
307
00:13:47,662 --> 00:13:48,704
So stop trippin', buddy.
308
00:13:48,788 --> 00:13:49,747
Tell him, Daddy.
309
00:13:49,831 --> 00:13:50,871
- Of course you earned it.
310
00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:53,126
Just settle down, Jesse.
311
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:55,503
- Oh, Dr. Gemstone's
running defense.
312
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,004
I love it.
313
00:13:57,088 --> 00:13:59,340
Just making an observation.
314
00:13:59,382 --> 00:14:00,967
Whoo-whee, sucker!
315
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,885
- Don't you
"whoo-whee, sucker" me.
316
00:14:02,969 --> 00:14:04,637
I observe that you have appeared
317
00:14:04,721 --> 00:14:06,321
to have gotten some
sort of ass whuppin'.
318
00:14:06,347 --> 00:14:07,849
- That's correct.
319
00:14:07,932 --> 00:14:09,600
Didn't rob me or nothin'.
320
00:14:09,684 --> 00:14:11,060
Just beat me.
321
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:12,854
- And the cops don't
know who did it?
322
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,397
- No, they don't.
323
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:15,481
I just thank the Lord
324
00:14:15,523 --> 00:14:17,775
that my sister and
brother weren't around.
325
00:14:17,859 --> 00:14:19,527
- I imagine it was just somebody
326
00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:21,904
who was trying to teach
you a lesson in particular.
327
00:14:21,988 --> 00:14:23,257
You know, maybe
somebody you crossed
328
00:14:23,281 --> 00:14:24,601
or were very rude
to or something.
329
00:14:24,657 --> 00:14:25,616
I don't know.
330
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:26,701
- Well, I'm not so sure.
331
00:14:26,784 --> 00:14:27,702
- I am.
332
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:28,995
I'm sure.
333
00:14:30,163 --> 00:14:32,165
Mmm, this brie is
the fucking tits.
334
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,417
- Excuse me!
335
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,502
- You're not supposed to
cuss in Cape and Pistol.
336
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:37,746
- Yeah, no fucking duh, dude.
337
00:14:37,795 --> 00:14:39,297
My daddy already told me.
338
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:40,757
- It's a tenet,
339
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,884
a level of respect
we show each other.
340
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,552
- Show some respect, Jesse.
341
00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:46,888
- Profanity in the chambers.
342
00:14:46,971 --> 00:14:48,973
A white slap shall be issued.
343
00:14:49,057 --> 00:14:50,058
- A white slap?
344
00:14:50,099 --> 00:14:51,392
What the fuck is that?
345
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,531
- Hey! Jesse Gemstone!
346
00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:48,199
Jesse! Look here!
347
00:15:48,825 --> 00:15:50,076
Look.
348
00:15:50,118 --> 00:15:51,119
Come on now.
349
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:52,495
- What the fuck are you doing?
350
00:15:52,578 --> 00:15:53,955
- Hey, what you think?
351
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:55,456
I... I made it in!
352
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:59,585
I heard you was
being sworn in today.
353
00:16:01,045 --> 00:16:02,130
Well, come on now.
354
00:16:02,213 --> 00:16:03,339
Let me in. Hook me up.
355
00:16:03,423 --> 00:16:04,549
- This is a secret society.
356
00:16:04,590 --> 00:16:05,526
You can't just roll up in.
357
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,969
- It ain't too secret
if I heard about it.
358
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,387
Look here now.
359
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,389
If you ain't gonna
make "Bible Bonkers,"
360
00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:13,933
maybe some of these other
influential Christians will.
361
00:16:13,975 --> 00:16:15,160
- None of the men
of Cape and Pistol
362
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:17,395
are gonna give a fuck about
"Bible Bonkers," okay?
363
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:20,940
- Boy, I watched
you become a man,
364
00:16:21,023 --> 00:16:22,942
but don't think I won't
bend you over my knee
365
00:16:22,984 --> 00:16:25,236
and turn that fat ass red now.
366
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:30,616
- Ooh, I'd love to see you
turn this big fat ass red.
367
00:16:30,658 --> 00:16:32,261
I'll give you 20 bucks.
Try it. See what happens.
368
00:16:32,285 --> 00:16:33,828
- I don't need $20
to kick your ass.
369
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,097
- See what happens,
motherfucker.
370
00:16:35,121 --> 00:16:36,473
- Let's go. Yeah, I'll
show you right here.
371
00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:38,166
- What you gonna do,
you fucking old man?
372
00:16:38,249 --> 00:16:40,251
Get the
fuck off of there.
373
00:16:41,169 --> 00:16:42,438
Get that fuckin'...
- Go on back inside
374
00:16:42,462 --> 00:16:45,631
your little fucking
Mickey Mouse Club then.
375
00:16:45,715 --> 00:16:47,091
Goddamn Harry Potter wannabes.
376
00:16:47,175 --> 00:16:48,509
- No, we're not.
377
00:16:48,551 --> 00:16:50,303
- You know what?
378
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:53,014
You so hell bent on
running this church
379
00:16:53,097 --> 00:16:54,891
the way your daddy did.
380
00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:57,143
Only problem is, Jesse Gemstone,
381
00:16:57,185 --> 00:16:58,811
you ain't your fuckin' Daddy.
382
00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:01,522
- What did my Daddy have that
made him so fucking special?
383
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:02,446
- Well, for starters,
384
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:05,318
he had a star by
his side, your mama.
385
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:06,861
But you ain't got that.
386
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:07,904
What you got?
387
00:17:07,987 --> 00:17:11,157
You got you and two
not-really-stars.
388
00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:13,117
- Actually, that is
kind of the reality.
389
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,428
- Ain't no "kind
of" about it, Jesse.
390
00:17:14,452 --> 00:17:16,871
Now, you want to
capture the magic,
391
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,040
you need your mama,
392
00:17:19,082 --> 00:17:20,541
and I can give her to you now.
393
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:21,559
- What are you gonna do?
394
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:22,543
Dress up like her?
395
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:25,838
- Ain't nobody gonna put
on no female clothes.
396
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:28,800
I'm talking about resurrection.
397
00:17:28,883 --> 00:17:30,885
Bringing her back to life.
398
00:17:30,927 --> 00:17:32,029
- Uncle Baby Billy, I don't know
399
00:17:32,053 --> 00:17:34,347
what the fuck you're smoking,
but I ain't buying it.
400
00:17:34,389 --> 00:17:36,224
No one in our family trusts you.
401
00:17:36,265 --> 00:17:38,101
I ain't about to start.
402
00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:39,370
Thanks for coming
by and giving me
403
00:17:39,394 --> 00:17:42,271
congratulations
on my inductsmans.
404
00:17:42,355 --> 00:17:44,482
- Resurrection, boy.
405
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:47,735
From the ashes in fulfillment
of the scriptures.
406
00:17:47,777 --> 00:17:49,028
Put her back on that stage.
407
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:50,822
Restore the Kingdom.
408
00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:54,158
Come see me when you're
ready to believe in miracles!
409
00:18:11,134 --> 00:18:13,344
What the hell was that?
410
00:18:14,095 --> 00:18:15,596
- You got pocket gophers.
411
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,015
We're just doing a little
pest control for you.
412
00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:19,684
- Sounded like a bomb went off.
413
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:21,561
- We made a little
homemade explosive
414
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:24,272
with some fertilizer, some gas.
415
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,458
One more, we'll have cleared
out the whole den for you.
416
00:18:26,482 --> 00:18:27,775
- You know we've
got grounds crew
417
00:18:27,817 --> 00:18:28,943
for that kind of stuff.
418
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:30,528
- Oh, we know.
419
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:34,240
But truthfully, they ain't
half as good as we are.
420
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:35,533
Plus, we just want to show you
421
00:18:35,616 --> 00:18:37,160
we appreciate all
you done for us.
422
00:18:37,243 --> 00:18:38,911
- I appreciate that thought,
423
00:18:38,953 --> 00:18:41,098
and I'm real proud of the way
you stood up to your Daddy.
424
00:18:41,122 --> 00:18:42,790
I know it wasn't easy.
425
00:18:44,125 --> 00:18:45,793
We're happy you all are here.
426
00:18:49,255 --> 00:18:50,465
- Here goes.
427
00:18:55,636 --> 00:18:56,554
- You got scared.
428
00:18:56,637 --> 00:18:58,973
No, I didn't.
429
00:18:59,015 --> 00:19:00,475
You see any gophers?
430
00:19:01,309 --> 00:19:02,894
- Not no more.
431
00:19:03,811 --> 00:19:06,689
- Parents of teens,
good to see y'all.
432
00:19:06,773 --> 00:19:08,191
Wow, all right.
433
00:19:08,274 --> 00:19:10,026
Whoo! This is a good turnout.
434
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:12,070
Very cool, very cool.
435
00:19:12,153 --> 00:19:14,530
So I just wanted to address
436
00:19:14,614 --> 00:19:17,241
some of the letters I've
received in the SBC.
437
00:19:19,327 --> 00:19:22,163
That is suggestion box comments.
438
00:19:22,246 --> 00:19:23,307
- Well, the issue is simple.
439
00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:25,500
We do not feel safe with
the assistant youth pastor.
440
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:27,126
We heard he's a
devil worshipper.
441
00:19:27,168 --> 00:19:28,628
- See, that's false, all right?
442
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:30,046
Fake news.
443
00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:33,007
No, Keefe is an
ex-Satan worshipper.
444
00:19:33,049 --> 00:19:34,634
- I don't judge people's past.
445
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:38,179
I used to sell fireworks
on the side of the road.
446
00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:40,681
But I don't want him
influencing our children.
447
00:19:40,765 --> 00:19:42,868
- You don't have to worry
about Keefe around children.
448
00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:44,185
All right? I vouch for him.
449
00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:45,978
He is one of my closest
personal friends.
450
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:48,272
He is my dude.
451
00:19:48,356 --> 00:19:50,525
- With all the rumors
swirling about you,
452
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:52,610
can't you see how
strange this all looks?
453
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:56,280
- There's rumors
swirling about me?
454
00:19:56,364 --> 00:19:58,533
- Remove him, or
we remove our kids.
455
00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:01,661
- Okay.
456
00:20:03,371 --> 00:20:06,207
Thank you for your feedback.
457
00:20:06,249 --> 00:20:08,167
Enjoy your Woks on Water.
458
00:20:13,548 --> 00:20:15,317
- Well, I was hoping
Thomas would be here today.
459
00:20:15,341 --> 00:20:16,634
He's my usual partner.
460
00:20:16,718 --> 00:20:18,678
- Someone slashed all his tires.
461
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,054
He can't make it.
462
00:20:20,138 --> 00:20:21,305
- Well, that's disturbing.
463
00:20:21,389 --> 00:20:23,683
- We need to find
you a new partner.
464
00:20:23,725 --> 00:20:24,934
- I'll play.
465
00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:32,275
BJ, right?
466
00:20:32,358 --> 00:20:33,568
Didn't recognize you.
467
00:20:33,651 --> 00:20:35,319
You're always in
a suit at church.
468
00:20:35,403 --> 00:20:37,655
- Well, don't let the
Versace couture fool you.
469
00:20:37,739 --> 00:20:39,282
It's still me.
470
00:20:39,365 --> 00:20:40,575
- Ah! What the hell?
471
00:20:40,658 --> 00:20:42,660
- So you go to Salvation Center?
472
00:20:42,744 --> 00:20:44,078
- I do. I do.
473
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,288
I'm Stephen.
474
00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:46,390
I actually work with your lady.
475
00:20:46,414 --> 00:20:47,915
- Oh, nice.
476
00:20:47,957 --> 00:20:49,167
She's a lot of fun, right?
477
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,960
- Mm...
478
00:20:51,044 --> 00:20:52,086
is she ever.
479
00:20:53,421 --> 00:20:54,505
Should we rock out?
480
00:20:54,589 --> 00:20:56,090
- Yeah, let's rock out.
481
00:20:56,132 --> 00:20:58,718
Although I think pickleball is
a little bit more like jazz.
482
00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:02,597
- Oh, yeah. Feels good.
483
00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:04,599
Get the blood flowing again.
484
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,392
Lately it's all been
rushing to my cock.
485
00:21:06,434 --> 00:21:07,727
- Oh, for real?
486
00:21:07,769 --> 00:21:08,603
- Yeah, bro.
487
00:21:08,686 --> 00:21:10,605
I've been hooking
up with this chick.
488
00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:11,439
So hot.
489
00:21:11,522 --> 00:21:13,191
Horniest gal I've ever met.
490
00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:15,568
You should see how
wet her pussy gets.
491
00:21:15,610 --> 00:21:20,323
I touch her, and it's just
instantly fucking dripping.
492
00:21:22,992 --> 00:21:24,285
Fucking full-on rain puddles.
493
00:21:24,327 --> 00:21:25,536
- Mm.
494
00:21:25,620 --> 00:21:29,082
Well, thanks for filling in.
495
00:21:29,123 --> 00:21:30,583
- Oh, I'm filling in, all right.
496
00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:32,311
- I just meant that my
usual teammate, Thomas,
497
00:21:32,335 --> 00:21:33,336
isn't here today.
498
00:21:33,419 --> 00:21:34,699
- I'm talking
about how hopefully
499
00:21:34,754 --> 00:21:36,422
I'll be filling in
this chick's pussy.
500
00:21:36,464 --> 00:21:38,716
I dry humped her till I came.
501
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:42,845
Had the fucking map of Hawaiian
islands all down my slacks.
502
00:21:42,929 --> 00:21:44,097
- Time out, you guys.
503
00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:45,473
Time out.
504
00:21:46,307 --> 00:21:47,642
Stephen, I have to say
505
00:21:47,725 --> 00:21:49,477
I find what you're
saying offensive.
506
00:21:49,519 --> 00:21:51,229
- Oh, do you?
507
00:21:51,312 --> 00:21:52,772
- I don't really
enjoy poon-tang talk
508
00:21:52,814 --> 00:21:53,648
with other fellas.
509
00:21:53,731 --> 00:21:55,316
I know it's seen as
locker room chat,
510
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,860
but I find it to
be disrespectful.
511
00:22:02,615 --> 00:22:05,660
- You're a weak
little fag, ain't you?
512
00:22:05,701 --> 00:22:07,745
- No, I'm a straight cis male,
513
00:22:07,829 --> 00:22:09,414
but I don't believe
that queer people
514
00:22:09,497 --> 00:22:11,791
should be referenced
that way, regardless.
515
00:22:14,293 --> 00:22:16,003
- You fellas gonna
play pickleball
516
00:22:16,045 --> 00:22:17,880
or keep flapping them gums?
517
00:22:21,092 --> 00:22:22,760
- Ahh!
518
00:22:27,098 --> 00:22:29,016
I love her, you dick!
519
00:22:33,229 --> 00:22:34,605
- Henry!
520
00:22:35,523 --> 00:22:37,400
Oh, my God, you're
bleeding so much!
521
00:22:37,483 --> 00:22:39,193
Is he on blood thinners?
522
00:22:45,867 --> 00:22:48,536
- They say Jesus struggled
with the crosswords.
523
00:22:48,578 --> 00:22:50,455
He always got stuck at 2 across.
524
00:22:55,043 --> 00:22:56,586
You're going to hell, Eli.
525
00:22:56,669 --> 00:22:57,587
- Maybe not today.
526
00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:59,714
It's too nice out.
527
00:22:59,756 --> 00:23:01,883
- Yeah, it is pretty
here in the garden.
528
00:23:02,884 --> 00:23:05,178
I can see why
Aimee-Leigh liked it.
529
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:08,890
- It's not always a bad thing
to treat yourself nice, is it?
530
00:23:08,973 --> 00:23:11,476
- Yeah, I could never
live like you do,
531
00:23:11,559 --> 00:23:13,478
all the things you have.
532
00:23:15,646 --> 00:23:17,815
- I was never jealous
of your riches.
533
00:23:19,609 --> 00:23:22,278
But I am jealous that
your kids still love you.
534
00:23:23,571 --> 00:23:25,740
That's more than I
can say about my own.
535
00:23:25,782 --> 00:23:29,035
- Don't mistake
love for dependency.
536
00:23:29,077 --> 00:23:32,747
I feel like one of them old
dogs with swollen nipples
537
00:23:32,830 --> 00:23:35,666
you see on a ranch
searching for shade.
538
00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,293
- You look like one too.
539
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,589
- Still, you know,
it's been three years
540
00:23:41,672 --> 00:23:44,092
since those boys played
their instruments for me.
541
00:23:44,175 --> 00:23:47,178
They refuse to because
they know it gives me joy.
542
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:49,263
That's how much they hate me.
543
00:23:49,305 --> 00:23:51,891
- They don't hate you, May-May.
544
00:23:51,933 --> 00:23:55,103
You're just hard
to love sometimes.
545
00:23:56,687 --> 00:23:59,440
- I gave 'em everything I could.
546
00:23:59,482 --> 00:24:01,776
Problem is, I never
had a damn thing.
547
00:24:08,241 --> 00:24:10,743
- Today we are here to
discuss when people think
548
00:24:10,785 --> 00:24:14,205
people might be
molesting people.
549
00:24:14,288 --> 00:24:15,873
- Keefe's gotta go, Kelvin.
550
00:24:15,957 --> 00:24:17,750
- What?
551
00:24:17,792 --> 00:24:19,460
Okay.
552
00:24:19,502 --> 00:24:21,254
Okay, I can't even
believe what I'm hearing.
553
00:24:21,295 --> 00:24:22,296
Fire Keefe?
554
00:24:22,380 --> 00:24:24,674
- He just can't be assistant
youth pastor anymore.
555
00:24:24,757 --> 00:24:26,592
Martin thinks there
might be a place for him
556
00:24:26,634 --> 00:24:28,094
in Immigrant Outreach.
557
00:24:28,136 --> 00:24:31,055
- Okay, I like working
with Keefe closely.
558
00:24:31,139 --> 00:24:32,598
- Okay.
559
00:24:33,307 --> 00:24:34,559
- He'll be so crushed.
560
00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:35,577
- Well, why don't
you think about
561
00:24:35,601 --> 00:24:37,145
your own family's
feelings for once
562
00:24:37,186 --> 00:24:38,563
instead of Keefe's, okay?
563
00:24:38,646 --> 00:24:40,440
Do you know what it
feels like to be me?
564
00:24:40,481 --> 00:24:42,650
Who fucking makes
sacrifices right and left
565
00:24:42,692 --> 00:24:43,651
to run this shit?
566
00:24:43,735 --> 00:24:44,735
- Why are you acting like
567
00:24:44,777 --> 00:24:45,671
you're the only one doing stuff?
568
00:24:45,695 --> 00:24:46,988
We all do stuff!
569
00:24:47,029 --> 00:24:49,115
- Okay, well, the stuff
that your friend is doing,
570
00:24:49,157 --> 00:24:51,367
the molesting or whatever
the fuck is going on there,
571
00:24:51,451 --> 00:24:53,286
that is not good for the church.
572
00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:56,414
- Church leaders have gotta
think about optics, Kelvin.
573
00:24:56,497 --> 00:24:58,791
Okay? You need to
suck it up, homey.
574
00:24:58,833 --> 00:25:00,668
- Like you sucked it up on tour?
575
00:25:01,419 --> 00:25:03,212
- How fucking dare you!
576
00:25:03,296 --> 00:25:05,339
You two.
577
00:25:05,381 --> 00:25:06,841
Both of you, enough!
578
00:25:06,924 --> 00:25:08,342
- Fucker! I'm gonna kick you.
579
00:25:08,384 --> 00:25:11,012
- Enough!
580
00:25:11,095 --> 00:25:12,513
- No, Jesse. Nah, son.
581
00:25:12,597 --> 00:25:13,639
I don't like that.
582
00:25:13,681 --> 00:25:14,867
I don't like you
acting like Daddy.
583
00:25:14,891 --> 00:25:16,201
- Well, I don't like
how you're both acting,
584
00:25:16,225 --> 00:25:17,435
like little immature babies.
585
00:25:17,518 --> 00:25:18,686
Sit down.
586
00:25:19,687 --> 00:25:21,064
- Sittin' down 'cause I want to.
587
00:25:21,147 --> 00:25:24,692
- Well, this isn't fair, and
I think you all know that.
588
00:25:24,734 --> 00:25:27,195
Martin, you got anything to say?
589
00:25:27,236 --> 00:25:29,280
- Life is not fair.
590
00:25:29,363 --> 00:25:33,534
And Keefe as assistant
youth pastor does not work.
591
00:25:33,576 --> 00:25:36,204
This is not the hill
to die on, Kelvin.
592
00:25:36,287 --> 00:25:37,580
I'm sorry.
593
00:25:40,083 --> 00:25:42,377
- I'm just getting my
coffee. I'm leaving.
594
00:25:42,418 --> 00:25:43,961
I vote no on
everything else today.
595
00:25:44,045 --> 00:25:45,522
- The next thing we
were gonna vote for
596
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:47,423
was funding the battered
women's shelter.
597
00:25:47,507 --> 00:25:49,425
- It's a no!
598
00:25:51,052 --> 00:25:52,595
- Ran into your coworker Stephen
599
00:25:52,678 --> 00:25:54,055
at the pickleball court.
600
00:25:54,722 --> 00:25:56,265
- Pardon?
- Stephen?
601
00:25:56,349 --> 00:25:58,226
Spiky haired man from music?
602
00:25:58,267 --> 00:25:59,107
- What's up with him?
603
00:25:59,143 --> 00:26:00,704
What'd he... what'd he
say? What'd he want?
604
00:26:00,728 --> 00:26:02,855
- We played as a team,
but it was strange.
605
00:26:02,897 --> 00:26:04,899
He started doing
graphic sex talk.
606
00:26:04,941 --> 00:26:06,526
I didn't really get on board.
607
00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:07,860
I kind of upset him.
608
00:26:07,902 --> 00:26:09,570
- What kind of graphic sex talk?
609
00:26:09,612 --> 00:26:10,863
That's so weird.
610
00:26:10,905 --> 00:26:12,657
- Explicit descriptions
of sex acts
611
00:26:12,740 --> 00:26:15,868
he'd done with a woman,
how her vaginal secretions
612
00:26:15,910 --> 00:26:18,246
made full puddles on the ground,
613
00:26:18,329 --> 00:26:20,748
how she liked it when he
shot into his own trousers.
614
00:26:20,832 --> 00:26:22,750
It was kind of
gross, to be honest.
615
00:26:22,834 --> 00:26:25,253
I said no thanks, and
he lashed out at me.
616
00:26:25,294 --> 00:26:27,004
- The dude's a sicko, BJ.
617
00:26:27,088 --> 00:26:29,298
He's got major
problems in his brain.
618
00:26:29,382 --> 00:26:30,383
That's why he got fired.
619
00:26:30,425 --> 00:26:31,426
- Stephen got fired?
620
00:26:31,509 --> 00:26:32,635
- Mm-hmm.
- What for?
621
00:26:32,719 --> 00:26:35,596
- I don't know, it was like
a Time's Up/Me Too type deal.
622
00:26:35,638 --> 00:26:37,932
- That's why he was
so prickly with me.
623
00:26:37,974 --> 00:26:40,727
He's upset he lost his job.
624
00:26:40,768 --> 00:26:42,145
I should call him.
625
00:26:42,228 --> 00:26:43,229
- What? No!
626
00:26:43,271 --> 00:26:44,480
Don't you dare do that.
627
00:26:44,564 --> 00:26:45,690
Just leave it alone.
628
00:26:45,773 --> 00:26:48,693
- Sometimes when men boast,
they're really just insecure.
629
00:26:48,776 --> 00:26:51,446
- Stop trying to
figure this dude out.
630
00:26:51,487 --> 00:26:53,364
You are a good guy.
631
00:26:53,448 --> 00:26:54,949
He is a very, very bad guy.
632
00:26:55,032 --> 00:26:55,867
That's it.
633
00:26:55,950 --> 00:26:57,952
- I didn't know you
felt so strongly.
634
00:26:58,911 --> 00:27:00,705
I don't.
635
00:27:00,788 --> 00:27:03,082
I feel like the
opposite of strongly.
636
00:27:03,124 --> 00:27:05,209
Don't give a shit whether
the dude lives or dies.
637
00:27:05,293 --> 00:27:08,963
In fact, I lean toward
hoping he dies today.
638
00:27:09,005 --> 00:27:11,174
But also, I could care less.
639
00:27:21,851 --> 00:27:24,562
- Well, well, well,
look who it is.
640
00:27:24,645 --> 00:27:26,814
It's your favorite
cousin, Jesse.
641
00:27:26,856 --> 00:27:29,192
Big, bad Jesse.
642
00:27:29,275 --> 00:27:31,110
You ready for a miracle?
643
00:27:40,870 --> 00:27:44,290
Nephew, prepare yourself.
644
00:27:53,591 --> 00:27:54,842
- Here she comes.
645
00:27:54,884 --> 00:28:01,182
- ♪ Old country lane
still looks the same ♪
646
00:28:01,224 --> 00:28:07,355
♪ I long to lay down and
sleep in the meadow ♪
647
00:28:09,190 --> 00:28:15,321
♪ And listen to the wind
from the valley and bends ♪
648
00:28:15,363 --> 00:28:17,824
♪ A train whistle ♪
649
00:28:17,865 --> 00:28:22,578
♪ I hear you a-comin' ♪
650
00:28:22,662 --> 00:28:25,248
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
651
00:28:26,582 --> 00:28:30,628
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
652
00:28:30,712 --> 00:28:33,214
- Hey buddy.
653
00:28:33,297 --> 00:28:34,882
What you working on?
654
00:28:34,924 --> 00:28:37,385
- I'm fashioning pieces
of construction paper
655
00:28:37,468 --> 00:28:40,221
into crosses for the Youth
Group bulletin board.
656
00:28:40,304 --> 00:28:42,890
But they keep coming
out like daggers.
657
00:28:42,974 --> 00:28:44,559
- I'm sure it's fine, Keefe.
658
00:28:46,227 --> 00:28:48,354
Uh, look.
659
00:28:48,396 --> 00:28:52,275
I have to talk to you about
something, and it's...
660
00:28:52,358 --> 00:28:54,068
well, it's not
easy to talk about.
661
00:28:54,110 --> 00:28:54,902
- Mm.
662
00:28:54,944 --> 00:28:56,320
Sexual stuff?
663
00:28:56,404 --> 00:28:57,822
- No.
664
00:28:59,449 --> 00:29:01,576
We're gonna move you
out of Youth Group,
665
00:29:01,659 --> 00:29:02,744
but guess what.
666
00:29:02,827 --> 00:29:05,204
I got you a gig in
Immigrant Outreach.
667
00:29:05,246 --> 00:29:07,749
You're finally gonna get
to use your Cantonese!
668
00:29:07,790 --> 00:29:09,751
Hung Ku!
669
00:29:09,792 --> 00:29:11,210
That means very cool.
670
00:29:11,252 --> 00:29:12,253
I looked it up.
671
00:29:13,296 --> 00:29:14,505
- I understand.
672
00:29:15,757 --> 00:29:18,342
I'm sorry for the trouble
I brought upon you.
673
00:29:18,426 --> 00:29:19,719
- You are no trouble.
674
00:29:19,761 --> 00:29:22,055
- You saved me.
675
00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:23,931
And I will walk
the righteous path
676
00:29:23,973 --> 00:29:25,767
from here on out because of you.
677
00:29:25,850 --> 00:29:27,077
It's time I take
what I've learned
678
00:29:27,101 --> 00:29:29,187
and put it to good use.
679
00:29:30,438 --> 00:29:32,231
Alone, by myself.
680
00:29:32,273 --> 00:29:34,442
- No, Keefe, we're just
shifting your position.
681
00:29:34,525 --> 00:29:38,404
- I need to give you space so
that the air can be cleared.
682
00:29:38,446 --> 00:29:40,656
- I don't want space.
683
00:29:40,740 --> 00:29:42,366
- I'll move out.
684
00:29:42,450 --> 00:29:44,243
- This is a big decision.
685
00:29:44,285 --> 00:29:45,828
Take your time.
686
00:29:45,912 --> 00:29:48,081
You should... You
should pray on it.
687
00:29:48,122 --> 00:29:49,499
- I'll be out tomorrow.
688
00:29:51,292 --> 00:29:56,297
You Gemstones are stars,
destined to burn bright.
689
00:29:57,882 --> 00:29:59,801
Best I step aside.
690
00:30:06,557 --> 00:30:07,892
- Keefe.
691
00:30:20,488 --> 00:30:21,656
- Hey, sexy!
692
00:30:28,413 --> 00:30:29,997
- So you're stalking
my husband now?
693
00:30:30,081 --> 00:30:31,499
- I told you I wouldn't give up.
694
00:30:31,541 --> 00:30:34,836
- Hey, Stephen, you gave it
the college try, all right?
695
00:30:34,877 --> 00:30:36,504
But my decision stands.
696
00:30:36,546 --> 00:30:39,257
This is never gonna happen.
697
00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:41,676
It's a mistake I never,
ever should have made.
698
00:30:41,718 --> 00:30:42,677
I love BJ.
699
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,512
- I hate Kristy.
700
00:30:44,554 --> 00:30:45,906
I wish I could chop
her fucking head off
701
00:30:45,930 --> 00:30:46,949
while she's making omelets.
702
00:30:46,973 --> 00:30:48,516
- Okay, do it.
- I would.
703
00:30:48,599 --> 00:30:50,893
- Whatever you do, I need
you to respect my wishes
704
00:30:50,977 --> 00:30:52,353
and stop harassing me.
705
00:30:52,395 --> 00:30:54,313
- Harassing you?
706
00:30:54,355 --> 00:30:55,523
You want me, Judy.
707
00:30:55,606 --> 00:30:56,899
- Nah, boy.
708
00:30:56,983 --> 00:30:59,694
If I wanted you,
I would have you.
709
00:30:59,736 --> 00:31:01,505
I was just doing what I
thought you're supposed to do
710
00:31:01,529 --> 00:31:02,905
when you're a rock star.
711
00:31:02,989 --> 00:31:05,491
I thought, "Hey, man,
712
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,535
"people want to fall in
love with me, suck my dick?
713
00:31:07,577 --> 00:31:09,370
So be it."
714
00:31:09,454 --> 00:31:11,873
It turns out I'm not
Daniel Lee Rothson.
715
00:31:11,956 --> 00:31:14,041
I'm Judy Gemstone.
716
00:31:14,125 --> 00:31:17,837
I'm BJ Barnes's bitch
and no one else's.
717
00:31:17,879 --> 00:31:19,338
You're not half
the man that he is.
718
00:31:21,924 --> 00:31:23,718
- It's funny you
should mention him.
719
00:31:23,801 --> 00:31:24,802
- Judy?
720
00:31:24,886 --> 00:31:26,345
What are you doing here?
721
00:31:28,014 --> 00:31:29,807
- Called my old
pickleball partner here
722
00:31:29,891 --> 00:31:31,976
to bury the hatchet.
723
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:38,149
See, I can't stand all
this lying anymore.
724
00:31:38,232 --> 00:31:40,359
Exhausting to live that way.
725
00:31:42,779 --> 00:31:46,532
So...
726
00:31:46,574 --> 00:31:48,910
do you want to tell
him the truth, Judy?
727
00:31:50,411 --> 00:31:51,913
Or do I have to?
728
00:32:01,381 --> 00:32:02,173
- Hi, Mama.
729
00:32:02,256 --> 00:32:03,841
- Uh-oh. What's goin' on?
730
00:32:03,925 --> 00:32:05,009
Who died?
731
00:32:05,093 --> 00:32:06,719
- We just thought
that we'd, uh...
732
00:32:06,761 --> 00:32:08,179
We'd play our music for you.
733
00:32:10,390 --> 00:32:12,409
- We're gonna play "Sinner,
You'd Better Get Ready,"
734
00:32:12,433 --> 00:32:13,768
your favorite.
735
00:32:18,106 --> 00:32:19,899
Two, three, four.
736
00:32:34,664 --> 00:32:37,458
♪ Sinner, you'd
better get ready ♪
737
00:32:37,542 --> 00:32:41,087
♪ Oh, you better get
ready, Hallelujah ♪
738
00:32:41,129 --> 00:32:44,090
♪ Sinner, you'd
better get ready ♪
739
00:32:44,132 --> 00:32:47,385
♪ Times are coming when
the sinner must die ♪
740
00:32:53,474 --> 00:32:55,893
♪ Times are coming when
a sinner must die ♪
741
00:32:55,935 --> 00:32:59,355
♪ Get prepared for
your judgment day ♪
742
00:32:59,439 --> 00:33:01,649
- Oh, Pontius! What the fuck?
743
00:33:01,733 --> 00:33:03,109
- Get the fuck out!
744
00:33:03,151 --> 00:33:05,236
- Oh, my God.
745
00:33:05,319 --> 00:33:08,364
- Put your fucking pants
on and come to my office.
746
00:33:08,448 --> 00:33:10,491
♪ Times are comin'
when the sinner must die ♪
747
00:33:10,533 --> 00:33:13,411
- ♪ About to be burned
in the flames of hell ♪
748
00:33:13,494 --> 00:33:16,539
♪ Times are comin'
when the sinner must die ♪
749
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:20,793
- We were horny, so we fucked.
750
00:33:20,835 --> 00:33:22,045
Big whoop.
751
00:33:22,128 --> 00:33:23,838
- It is a big whoop, Pontius.
752
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:24,881
You're my son.
753
00:33:24,964 --> 00:33:25,858
I'm the head of the church.
754
00:33:25,882 --> 00:33:27,050
- Co-head.
755
00:33:27,133 --> 00:33:28,217
- All right, you know what?
756
00:33:28,301 --> 00:33:30,178
I was gonna be
cool, but fuck that.
757
00:33:30,261 --> 00:33:31,541
The reason why
Makayla is allowed
758
00:33:31,596 --> 00:33:34,390
to come to this house
is because we trust you.
759
00:33:34,474 --> 00:33:36,201
But if you're gonna sit
there and put jizm on her
760
00:33:36,225 --> 00:33:39,187
behind our backs, then you
can kiss that trust goodbye.
761
00:33:39,270 --> 00:33:42,857
Trust is a gift that
should be cherished.
762
00:33:42,940 --> 00:33:44,192
Life is tough.
763
00:33:44,233 --> 00:33:46,360
When you allow yourself
to trust another person,
764
00:33:46,402 --> 00:33:47,987
that takes some
of the weight off.
765
00:33:48,029 --> 00:33:52,033
And that's why it stings extra
when that trust is betrayed.
766
00:33:52,116 --> 00:33:53,493
- ♪ Better say your goodbyes ♪
767
00:33:53,534 --> 00:33:56,954
♪ Times are coming
when the sinner must die ♪
768
00:33:57,038 --> 00:33:59,332
- People do not
like having the rug
769
00:33:59,373 --> 00:34:01,042
pulled out from underneath them.
770
00:34:01,125 --> 00:34:02,293
Love can be lost.
771
00:34:02,377 --> 00:34:05,088
Relationships can
be damaged forever.
772
00:34:05,171 --> 00:34:07,507
It can take years
and years to mend
773
00:34:07,548 --> 00:34:10,009
all that wasted fucking time.
774
00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:12,178
Trust is the only thing
keeping the entire
775
00:34:12,220 --> 00:34:13,471
house of cards standing.
776
00:34:13,554 --> 00:34:15,847
Without it, we're left
with a shit-stained world
777
00:34:15,890 --> 00:34:17,182
full of liars and cheats.
778
00:34:17,224 --> 00:34:20,103
♪ Oh, you better
get ready, Hallelujah ♪
779
00:34:20,186 --> 00:34:21,604
- Somebody gifting
you their trust
780
00:34:21,686 --> 00:34:24,899
is a very, very powerful thing.
781
00:34:24,981 --> 00:34:27,235
So breaking that trust is
the equivalent of saying,
782
00:34:27,276 --> 00:34:28,736
"Hey buddy, fuck you.
783
00:34:28,778 --> 00:34:30,988
I don't give a fuck
about what you think."
784
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,699
Is that what you want?
785
00:34:33,740 --> 00:34:35,761
Is that what you want to
portray to me and your mom?
786
00:34:35,785 --> 00:34:37,577
"Hey, Mom, hey, Dad, fuck you.
787
00:34:37,662 --> 00:34:40,123
I don't give a fuck
about what you think."
788
00:34:40,206 --> 00:34:41,707
Someone saying
"fuck you" to family
789
00:34:41,749 --> 00:34:44,210
will not be tolerated
in this house.
790
00:34:44,251 --> 00:34:46,796
As your father, have
I made myself clear?
791
00:34:46,878 --> 00:34:48,673
- Yeah.
792
00:34:48,756 --> 00:34:50,090
Whatever.
793
00:34:50,173 --> 00:34:57,097
♪ Sinner must die ♪
794
00:34:59,434 --> 00:35:00,810
- We love you, Mama.
795
00:35:00,893 --> 00:35:02,270
- That was for you, Mama.
796
00:35:06,858 --> 00:35:07,859
- You proud, Pa?
797
00:35:07,942 --> 00:35:09,277
We do good?
798
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,571
- Five thousand pounds
of ammonium nitrate.
799
00:35:11,612 --> 00:35:15,783
Stick that up Uncle Sam's ass
and blow him straight to Mars.
800
00:35:16,826 --> 00:35:18,286
Yes.
801
00:35:19,871 --> 00:35:21,789
You did good, boys.
802
00:35:24,125 --> 00:35:25,752
- Did real good.
52727
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