Original subtitles

(OPENING THEME PLAYING)

This ends today, H.I.V.E.

Today justice will reign.

Today evil will...

(FARTING SOUND)

(CLEARS THROAT) Today evil will fall to its knees. Today...

-(FARTING SOUND) -(GIGGLING)

Shh. He's looking.

(FRUSTRATED GRUNT)

Today, hope for the city's renew...

(FARTING SOUND)

Argh!

Excuse us for a second, please. Thank you.

How many times do I have to tell you to not make fart noises

when I am striking fear into the hearts of the enemy.

-(FARTING SOUND) -Argh!

This is supposed to be the final showdown and you're ruining it!

Dude, why do you take yourself so seriously?

Yeah. Have a laugh once in a while.

We are the last line of defense for this city,

if we can't be serious about being superheroes, then who?

(JET ENGINE ROARING)

(GRUNTING)

Look how serious they are.

(GRUNTING)

Ooh! They have the eyes of righteousness.

No one's even smiling.

I feel so intimidated

and I like it.

Now those are real heroes.

Send these cretins to our base in the Kratoa nebula for further interrogation.

Something tells me this is only the beginning.

ROBIN: Hey there, Aqualad.

Hello, Robin.

Sweet moves out there!

-I do what must be done. -(WATCH BEEPING)

Now, uh, excuse me.

There's an emergency in the SN 1885 quadrant that needs my attention.

Cool, cool, cool.

Yeah, I'll probably head out there too.

What? On your way to a pie eating competition?

What's that supposed to mean?

-Did someone say pie? -I love pie!

(SINGING) When I say I want, you say...

Not now!

-What? -I did not wish to say anything.

But you and your team have brought nothing but shame to all real superheroes.

The Teen Titans are a disgrace.

Hey, hey, hey. You are way off base, buddy.

There's no difference between our teams.

We may do things a little differently,

but we're both just trying to take down the bad guys.

Is that right?

Quick. Before they see us.

Who is ready for another of the girl's night out?

Superheroes are supposed to inspire hearts

and teach valuable lessons about friendship and life.

We do that.

What? Lessons like books can be dangerous?

Or what is better, burgers or burritos?

You are a mockery of everything the world holds sacred about heroes.

Come on. What is so bad about being a little silly from time to time?

I am all for a good laugh,

but the Teen Titans cannot be serious for one single moment.

-Good day. -But...

I said good day!

Okay. Good talk, Aqualad.

Yup. We'll catch up later.

(SIGHS)

(VIDEO GAME BLEEPING)

(ROBIN GRUMBLING)

What's up with you, dude?

(IN GRAVELLY VOICE) Oh, nothing.

Just thinking about my dead parents.

-So tragic. -(VIDEO GAME STOPS)

-Whoa! What was that? -Keep it light, dude.

-Yeah, where did that come from? -I have the depression now.

Sorry, I'm just brooding.

Well, can you brood in the kitchen, dude?

And maybe bring me back some pickles and tahini.

(NORMAL VOICE) No, I want to brood here!

And it wouldn't be so bad if you could too.

Are you down in the dumpster because the real heroes made us look completely inadequate?

We are real heroes!

But we have forgotten that because you've all become real jokesters.

Even Raven.

What are you talking about? I'm no jokester.

Don't play dumb. I've seen your act.

Thanks for coming out. Good to be here.

Anyone from out of town?

So my dad came to visit.

You know what that's like, right?

Hi, honey. Mind if I devour your soul?

And I'm all like, "Can we do that after breakfast?"

The good thing about having a demon as my father is being immortal.

The bad thing is having to deal with him for the rest of my life.

(HIGH PITCHED LAUGHING)

He knows what I'm talking about.

Try all you want, Raven, but you're not funny.

None of you are!

Admit it, we're a little funny.

Aren't you tired of being two dimensional?

There's so much more to us!

I mean, look at Cyborg.

He's half man and half machine.

I know! Pretty cool, right?

No. It's not pretty cool.

In fact it should be tearing you apart.

Are you a man or are you a machine?

-Whoa! -That's heavy, dude.

Could not being more serious fracture the team?

Yes, but that's how we become stronger,

by being torn apart and coming back together.

Preferably in front of a sunset.

I do not understand, Robin.

Of course you don't, because you're an alien and that's your struggle.

You should all be struggling.

Maybe Robin's right.

Aqualad and his friends did look really cool.

They sure did.

And I want a tough face and tight muscles.

Of course you do!

I have always wanted to visit the SN 1885 quadrant.

We can interrogate some filthy cretins there right now!

I'd like to tell a villain, "It's just you and me now."

Then let's get...

♪ It is time

♪ To get really, really, really serious

♪ No time for toys

♪ No time for food

♪ There's no time to be in a good mood

♪ Serious eyes and a serious nose

♪ Serious faces and a serious pose

♪ It is time to say something really, really serious ♪

If you're not gonna help then get out of the way!

I work alone. You'll only slow me down.

I'm saying the one-liners like a real hero.

There is good and there is evil

and the line between them is clear.

(ALL MUNCHING)

Who among you would like to sing a song about pie?

How can I sing when I am so conflicted?

I have been so conflicted and unhappy all this time and never even knew it!

I've never felt more emotionally complex.

We should have gotten serious years ago.

-(THUMPS) -Finally we are no longer disgraces.

We are the team I always dreamed we could be.

Look at how defined my muscles are.

Booyah!

(GROANS) And I can't smile anymore.

(ALARM RINGING)

Crime alert!

The President sends word the H.I.V.E.'s murder satellite is ready to launch.

If we can't stop them the world will be destroyed forever!

-Robin. -Not now, Star.

There's too much work to do.

Titans go!

(SIREN WAILING)

STARFIRE: What are we looking at, Robin?

It is very... Dark.

Of course it's dark.

Night time is the most serious time to fight crime.

RAVEN: Yeah, but I can't see anything either.

ROBIN: Makes it even more dangerous.

I can use my cybernetics to see.

But what I did not lose my humanity!

STARFIRE: Robin, there is something I need to tell you.

Not now, we have a job to do.

BEAST BOY: In case we don't come back,

I wanna say it's been an honor serving with you all.

ROBIN: Showtime!

Everything is ready. Missile is go for launch!

ROBIN: Not on our watch.

Titians! Whoa! You guys look serious.

We're done playing games with you, H.I.V.E.

Really? That's too bad.

(BUZZER RINGS)

(EVIL LAUGHING)

(BEEPING)

How do we stop it?

With serious firepower!

(ROARING)

That is some serious hero work, Titans.

Aqualad.

We came here to clean up your mess,

but it looks like you have everything under control.

Perhaps you can admit you misjudged us.

You do look pretty serious now.

I just worry, is it too serious?

Too serious?

You don't understand what it's like to be half machine, half man.

Let's get out of here, Titans.

There's a life and death emergency

in the Mooka-Mooka sector we have to deal with,

and something tells me this is only the beginning.

Can you believe Aqualad thought we were too serious?

Not now, Robin.

I need to have a little talk with my friend, Cyborg.

What's this all about?

You know what this is about.

You drank my juice and I wanna know why.

-I was thirsty. -(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROWLING) You knew that was my juice! My name was on the carton!

So? It's drink, it'll be dranken!

If I can't trust you with my juice

then maybe I can't trust you at all.

Well, that makes two of us.

Trust is a two-way street, hombre.

Hey, break it up.

-It was just juice. -Easy for you to say!

It wasn't your juice!

Guys, the monster in me is feeding on your anger.

I don't know who I am anymore!

Snap out of it!

You're Raven.

Am I? Or am I a monster, a freak?

(GROWLS) I don't think I can be a part of this team anymore!

(WAILING)

What is happening to our team?

It's too late, Star.

He knew what he was doing when he drank the juice.

My juice!

And I enjoyed every sip of it!

-No! -(SCREAMING)

-(SCREAMING) -(SCREAMING)

-(SCREAMING) -(SCREAMING)

ROBIN: Hmm. Could this be the end of the Teen Titans?

I thought being serious would bring us closer

but it's only driven us apart.