Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,670 --> 00:00:03,920
[upbeat rock music]
2
00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:05,456
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
3
00:00:05,466 --> 00:00:07,674
? Ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff ?
4
00:00:07,718 --> 00:00:09,217
? ?
5
00:00:09,261 --> 00:00:11,386
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
6
00:00:11,472 --> 00:00:13,889
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
7
00:00:13,974 --> 00:00:15,599
? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
8
00:00:15,642 --> 00:00:17,267
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
9
00:00:17,311 --> 00:00:18,894
- ? Ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow ?
10
00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:20,562
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
11
00:00:20,606 --> 00:00:22,939
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow ?
12
00:00:23,025 --> 00:00:25,345
- ? Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ?
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
13
00:00:25,369 --> 00:00:27,486
[music crescendos]
14
00:00:27,571 --> 00:00:33,521
? ?
15
00:00:34,072 --> 00:00:35,989
[jazzy music]
16
00:00:36,033 --> 00:00:38,409
- [chuckles]
- Ooh.
17
00:00:38,410 --> 00:00:40,952
Swiping while we wait
for our date?
18
00:00:41,038 --> 00:00:42,205
[laughs]
19
00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:44,039
We are being so bad.
20
00:00:44,082 --> 00:00:46,082
Yeah, I love
that Jill keeps setting us up
21
00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:48,586
on all these playdates.
She's so selfless.
22
00:00:48,587 --> 00:00:50,378
If only she got
something out of it.
23
00:00:50,422 --> 00:00:51,872
[harp flourish]
Mmm.
24
00:00:51,924 --> 00:00:53,090
Oh, my turn! My turn!
25
00:00:53,091 --> 00:00:56,093
Okay, I would hump Cujo,
kill Toto,
26
00:00:56,094 --> 00:00:57,386
and marry Marley.
27
00:00:57,387 --> 00:00:59,387
- Aww.
- For the insurance.
28
00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:00,890
- [sniggering]
- Yeah! [sniggering]
29
00:01:00,891 --> 00:01:03,141
Oh, no!
[laughing]
30
00:01:03,227 --> 00:01:05,760
So I thought this app
was just for dog owners.
31
00:01:05,812 --> 00:01:07,812
We used to have a dog.
32
00:01:07,898 --> 00:01:10,307
[dramatic musical sting]
Cool, cool.
33
00:01:11,276 --> 00:01:12,984
Would you like
some more beggin' strips?
34
00:01:13,070 --> 00:01:14,819
We don't know it's not bacon.
35
00:01:14,905 --> 00:01:16,072
I'm trying to work here.
36
00:01:16,073 --> 00:01:19,242
- A little to the right.
- Ooh! [harp flourish]
37
00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:20,909
Can't wait to see who's next.
38
00:01:20,994 --> 00:01:21,953
[motorcycle revving]
39
00:01:21,954 --> 00:01:23,162
Ooh.
40
00:01:23,163 --> 00:01:24,621
[hard rock music]
41
00:01:24,706 --> 00:01:25,706
[tires screech]
42
00:01:25,707 --> 00:01:28,960
- What up, doggos?
- Oof.
43
00:01:28,961 --> 00:01:31,586
- Aw, man!
- Ooh.
44
00:01:31,630 --> 00:01:32,797
I'm Banshee!
45
00:01:32,798 --> 00:01:34,006
[retches]
46
00:01:34,007 --> 00:01:37,292
- Does anyone want in on this?
- This guy is awesome!
47
00:01:37,344 --> 00:01:38,727
- [slurping]
- He seems like a lot.
48
00:01:38,728 --> 00:01:40,512
- But at least he brought snacks.
- Mmm.
49
00:01:40,597 --> 00:01:43,890
And I think
what I'm realizing is,
50
00:01:44,017 --> 00:01:47,394
I haven't been angry at all
of the animals I've murdered.
51
00:01:47,479 --> 00:01:49,729
I've actually just
been angry at my...
52
00:01:49,856 --> 00:01:52,149
- Is this annoying anyone else?!
- What, me?
53
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,168
I'm just up here
getting used to the altitude.
54
00:01:54,169 --> 00:01:56,111
Long story,
I'm a purse dog now.
55
00:01:56,196 --> 00:01:57,716
I guess it wasn't
that long of a story.
56
00:01:57,740 --> 00:02:01,074
- Wait, wait, wait, you're a purse dog?
- Actually, if we could go back,
57
00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:02,493
Nibbles was on the verge
of a breakthr...
58
00:02:02,494 --> 00:02:04,077
Too late!
They all deserved to die.
59
00:02:04,121 --> 00:02:06,997
Yeah, yeah. Who cares?
Spill the purse beans.
60
00:02:07,082 --> 00:02:09,124
Well, it all happened so fast.
61
00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:11,459
This is all happening so fast!
62
00:02:11,545 --> 00:02:14,630
See? I always thought I'd be
on the outside looking up,
63
00:02:14,631 --> 00:02:17,549
but now I'm on the inside
looking down.
64
00:02:17,592 --> 00:02:21,011
You know,
I'm actually 1/64 purse dog
65
00:02:21,096 --> 00:02:22,929
on my 20 times
great-grandmother's side...
66
00:02:22,973 --> 00:02:24,973
one of the first purse dogs,
actually.
67
00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:27,642
Carried around
in a horse's bladder.
68
00:02:27,686 --> 00:02:31,105
- Yeah, I know.
- Now if we are done with opening remarks,
69
00:02:31,106 --> 00:02:34,107
the keynote speaker has
important announcement to make.
70
00:02:34,192 --> 00:02:36,234
This weekend, I, Tabitha,
71
00:02:36,278 --> 00:02:38,570
will be vying for my seventh title
72
00:02:38,655 --> 00:02:41,239
as Pretty kitty kitty litter's
prettiest kitty
73
00:02:41,325 --> 00:02:43,575
at the Pretty kitty kitty
litter pretty kitty cat show.
74
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,410
Really?
Well, I thought you were done
75
00:02:45,495 --> 00:02:47,535
with the Pretty kitty
kitty litter's prettiest kitty
76
00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,748
at the Pretty kitty kitty
litter pretty kitty cat show.
77
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:52,876
- What made you think that?
- Well, for me, it was when you said
78
00:02:52,961 --> 00:02:55,420
you were done with cat shows,
which timed out perfectly
79
00:02:55,464 --> 00:02:57,344
because your owners were
spending all their time
80
00:02:57,424 --> 00:02:59,144
with their newer, younger,
cuter cat anyway.
81
00:02:59,176 --> 00:03:02,719
Apparently, the novelty of Kit
Kat have worn off for my humans.
82
00:03:02,763 --> 00:03:05,555
So now it's back
to business as usual,
83
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,475
me being celebrated
for my unrivaled beauty.
84
00:03:08,602 --> 00:03:10,977
Me?
I can't belie... I won?
85
00:03:11,063 --> 00:03:12,812
[gasps]
Whoo!
86
00:03:12,898 --> 00:03:14,773
I won!
[laughing]
87
00:03:14,816 --> 00:03:16,192
Tabitha, as much as I love
88
00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:18,276
to hear you make
those over-the-top noises,
89
00:03:18,362 --> 00:03:21,071
I'm concerned you're edging
towards a backslide.
90
00:03:21,156 --> 00:03:25,950
- Ooh, did somebody say "backside"?
- No, I said "backslide."
91
00:03:26,036 --> 00:03:28,036
Okay, but you did say "edging,"
92
00:03:28,121 --> 00:03:32,082
and I've got a story for that too.
Or do I?
93
00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:34,709
? Purse-y, purse-y, purse dog! ?
94
00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:36,586
? I'm a purse dog! ?
95
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,631
- Here you go!
- A treat?
96
00:03:38,632 --> 00:03:41,217
From a purse dog?
Bless you, sir!
97
00:03:41,218 --> 00:03:42,801
[indistinct chatter]
98
00:03:42,928 --> 00:03:47,422
- Wow, this is all so magical.
- Oh! We got a newbie.
99
00:03:48,975 --> 00:03:50,934
- I'm Scout.
- Diablo.
100
00:03:50,977 --> 00:03:52,061
Welcome.
101
00:03:52,062 --> 00:03:54,354
- Cigar?
- Ooh, fancy.
102
00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:58,229
That's Tofu and Jonathan.
And this is...
103
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:03,149
[riffing operatically]
104
00:04:03,193 --> 00:04:06,361
Bowie.
Charmed, I'm sure.
105
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,656
[slurps]
That's enough.
106
00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:12,325
You know, Diablo,
we couldn't help but notice
107
00:04:12,410 --> 00:04:15,036
you feeding
that meter mutt over there.
108
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,582
- Floor dogs are trash.
- Well, that's not true.
109
00:04:18,583 --> 00:04:20,917
Some of my best friends
are floor dogs.
110
00:04:21,002 --> 00:04:24,087
[haughty laughter]
111
00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:27,465
- No, really.
- You can't be serious.
112
00:04:27,509 --> 00:04:30,134
Are you a purse dog
or just a dog in a purse?
113
00:04:30,178 --> 00:04:33,388
[dramatic music]
114
00:04:33,431 --> 00:04:36,600
[laughs] I got... got you!
I got you all!
115
00:04:36,601 --> 00:04:40,229
I mean, this one was like, what?
And he was like, huh?
116
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,605
And you were like,
ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-what?
117
00:04:42,691 --> 00:04:43,732
[laughter]
118
00:04:43,733 --> 00:04:45,608
You did do that, Tofu, you slut.
119
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:49,571
[sotto voce] Diablo, you did it
again, you literal son of a bitch.
120
00:04:49,734 --> 00:04:52,735
Banshee is seriously the coolest.
121
00:04:52,821 --> 00:04:56,155
We went skateboarding,
surfing, dune buggy-ing.
122
00:04:56,199 --> 00:04:59,784
- I... I feel like a puppy again!
- Chief, you're in your mid-sevens.
123
00:04:59,869 --> 00:05:02,663
I think you might be having
a little bit of a midlife crisis.
124
00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:05,248
No, I'm just halfway
through my life,
125
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,417
realizing how fast it's going
126
00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:10,002
and wishing I was
a cool puppy again.
127
00:05:10,046 --> 00:05:12,922
- What are you talking about?
- Fine. While you were gone,
128
00:05:12,966 --> 00:05:15,258
I was busy having
my own wild time.
129
00:05:15,301 --> 00:05:18,219
All right, puzzle, I know
there's a treat in you somewhere.
130
00:05:18,304 --> 00:05:19,754
[jazz music playing]
131
00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:22,141
Nope.
Nope.
132
00:05:22,142 --> 00:05:23,225
Nope.
133
00:05:23,226 --> 00:05:25,017
Nope.
Nope.
134
00:05:25,061 --> 00:05:27,437
[chuckles]
Talk about an adrenaline rush.
135
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,940
- Care to take the ride?
- Oh, I can't.
136
00:05:29,941 --> 00:05:31,661
Banshee said we're going
skydiving tomorrow.
137
00:05:31,685 --> 00:05:33,693
What?
Do you even know what that is?
138
00:05:33,695 --> 00:05:37,822
- I think it's the day after today?
- No, skydiving.
139
00:05:37,866 --> 00:05:40,596
Haven't you seen Jill
cry-watching those skydiving
140
00:05:40,597 --> 00:05:43,327
proposal videos where
people jump out of airplanes?
141
00:05:43,413 --> 00:05:45,788
Oh, my god.
Is Banshee gonna propose?
142
00:05:45,832 --> 00:05:48,124
I mean, his vomit is delicious,
143
00:05:48,168 --> 00:05:50,960
but I'm not sure
I like him that way.
144
00:05:51,045 --> 00:05:53,714
Yes. I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna say yes!
145
00:05:53,715 --> 00:05:57,133
Chief, I'm saying you guys are
going to jump out of an airplane.
146
00:05:57,177 --> 00:06:02,221
- Oh. Yeah, that does sound a little risky.
- Uh, a little risky?
147
00:06:02,265 --> 00:06:03,765
It's bat-scat insane.
148
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:06,476
You could die,
or worse, become paralyzed.
149
00:06:06,561 --> 00:06:09,353
And then Jill would become
paralyzed... with grief.
150
00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:11,230
And then I have
to take care of you both
151
00:06:11,274 --> 00:06:14,484
and probably learn how to drive,
which leaves no time for puzzles.
152
00:06:14,569 --> 00:06:16,486
No, Chief, you cannot do this!
153
00:06:16,571 --> 00:06:19,655
- Banshee thought you might say that.
- Really? All of it?
154
00:06:19,699 --> 00:06:22,450
Yeah. He also thought
you were my mom.
155
00:06:22,535 --> 00:06:24,744
Speaking of which,
what's expected of me
156
00:06:24,829 --> 00:06:27,914
on the wedding night,
and will it hurt?
157
00:06:28,041 --> 00:06:30,500
[jazzy music]
158
00:06:30,663 --> 00:06:34,666
Ah, how I have missed this.
[harp flourish]
159
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:37,168
The glamour, the pageantry.
160
00:06:37,211 --> 00:06:40,422
Finally, I'm home.
Don't worry, Kit Kat.
161
00:06:40,423 --> 00:06:43,174
Maybe one day you'll get
your chance to compete.
162
00:06:43,217 --> 00:06:47,387
Ugh! As if I would ever
want to be a part of something
163
00:06:47,388 --> 00:06:50,848
- so antiquated and offensive.
- Be jealous louder.
164
00:06:50,892 --> 00:06:53,684
It feeds me. Bye-bye!
165
00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:56,729
[gasps]
This is not VIP holding area.
166
00:06:56,773 --> 00:06:59,565
Where are the fur blowers
and the anal swabs?
167
00:06:59,651 --> 00:07:02,109
Who are you?
Why do you lift me?
168
00:07:02,153 --> 00:07:03,195
Where are you taking me?
169
00:07:03,196 --> 00:07:04,446
[gasps]
170
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:05,489
Where am I?
171
00:07:05,490 --> 00:07:08,408
- Who are you freaks?
- Attention, cat people,
172
00:07:08,409 --> 00:07:10,451
the legacy parade will
commence shortly.
173
00:07:10,536 --> 00:07:13,809
What? Legacy parade?
But... but that is
174
00:07:13,810 --> 00:07:16,832
for the sad cats
of yesteryear.
175
00:07:16,918 --> 00:07:18,168
[laughs]
176
00:07:18,169 --> 00:07:22,213
Who do you think you are,
some spring kitten?
177
00:07:22,256 --> 00:07:24,006
You are one of us.
178
00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,425
[laughing]
179
00:07:25,426 --> 00:07:27,042
Uh-oh. Well...
180
00:07:27,053 --> 00:07:29,428
[exciting music]
181
00:07:29,555 --> 00:07:32,181
I can't wait for you
to feel that rush, man!
182
00:07:32,266 --> 00:07:36,686
- You're gonna feel so alive!
- What if the parachute doesn't open?
183
00:07:36,771 --> 00:07:40,815
- Don't let your mom get in your head!
- Oh, Honey was right.
184
00:07:40,858 --> 00:07:44,777
- I don't think I want to get married!
- Chiefy, are you ready?
185
00:07:44,862 --> 00:07:47,989
Actually, Jill, I've decided
I'm gonna pass on this one.
186
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:48,991
But thank you so...
187
00:07:48,992 --> 00:07:50,866
[both screaming]
188
00:07:53,913 --> 00:07:54,621
[both screaming]
189
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,742
Uh, is the dog peeing?
190
00:07:56,786 --> 00:07:59,537
Yep!
Just the dog and no one else!
191
00:07:59,622 --> 00:08:05,994
- Isn't this the best feeling in the world?
- And it was, Honey. It really was!
192
00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,920
I'm so glad
that I made the decision
193
00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:10,506
to listen to you
and not go skydiving,
194
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:13,342
because it led me
to being pushed out of a plane
195
00:08:13,386 --> 00:08:16,387
- and going skydiving!
- Well, I'm glad you're back.
196
00:08:16,472 --> 00:08:18,264
Now you can help me
with this puzzle.
197
00:08:18,349 --> 00:08:19,683
Nope. Nope.
198
00:08:19,684 --> 00:08:21,134
Nope.
Nope.
199
00:08:21,185 --> 00:08:22,726
Trial and error, I'm addicted.
200
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:23,895
[chuckles] Nope.
201
00:08:23,896 --> 00:08:24,980
Nope. Nope.
202
00:08:24,981 --> 00:08:27,941
And tonight, I get to meet
the rest of Banshee's chaos crew.
203
00:08:28,062 --> 00:08:31,939
There's Dexter,
Bones, Jax, Douche.
204
00:08:32,024 --> 00:08:34,781
And now that Bones is old
enough to get all of his shots,
205
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,423
we can finally fight those
rats outside of Hooters.
206
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:39,029
Chief, maybe there's
a healthier way
207
00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:41,073
for you to deal
with facing your mortality.
208
00:08:41,117 --> 00:08:43,409
I mean, death comes for us all.
[chuckling]
209
00:08:43,494 --> 00:08:45,912
- Why are you giggling?
- I'm... I'm sorry, Honey.
210
00:08:45,913 --> 00:08:47,663
Banshee, Dexter, Bones,
Jax, and Douche
211
00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:50,625
are totally mooning us right now.
[laughs]
212
00:08:50,626 --> 00:08:52,334
Well, back to what
I was talking about,
213
00:08:52,378 --> 00:08:54,379
when there are more years...
Chief?
214
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:55,838
- Chief?
- [sniggering]
215
00:08:55,923 --> 00:09:00,801
- This is funny on so many levels!
- Let's go put our lives in danger
216
00:09:00,886 --> 00:09:02,678
for a fleeting moment of excitement!
217
00:09:02,763 --> 00:09:04,513
- Excitement!
- Ha ha, danger!
218
00:09:04,557 --> 00:09:06,348
Death comes to us all!
219
00:09:06,434 --> 00:09:07,517
[sighs]
220
00:09:07,518 --> 00:09:08,768
[jazzy music]
221
00:09:08,769 --> 00:09:11,687
Ugh, so this is what
becomes of my life,
222
00:09:11,731 --> 00:09:16,108
- taken out to pageantry pasture.
- It's not so bad being one of us.
223
00:09:16,193 --> 00:09:18,777
Sure, we feel useless
and desexualized,
224
00:09:18,863 --> 00:09:21,071
but bottomless amounts
of premium catnip
225
00:09:21,115 --> 00:09:22,740
makes you forget that in seconds.
226
00:09:22,783 --> 00:09:25,617
Here you go, old gal,
a little pick-me-up.
227
00:09:25,661 --> 00:09:30,539
- Puts a little puff in your muff. [laughs]
- What is all this ruckus?
228
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:34,753
Oh, my god, you're still alive?
Hey, maggots!
229
00:09:34,754 --> 00:09:36,503
Remember that dead cat
we crawled into?
230
00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:40,591
- Guess what?
- Oh, catnip, take me away.
231
00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:43,218
[inhaling deeply]
232
00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:44,387
Ah!
233
00:09:44,388 --> 00:09:45,838
[frantic distorted music]
234
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,140
[high-pitched laughter]
235
00:09:48,225 --> 00:09:52,144
? ?
236
00:09:52,229 --> 00:09:53,771
Oh, yeah!
237
00:09:53,986 --> 00:09:56,111
Okay, I know this is
a purse world problem,
238
00:09:56,238 --> 00:10:00,657
but why do they make chapstick
the exact size of my anus?
239
00:10:00,743 --> 00:10:03,744
[laughter]
240
00:10:03,787 --> 00:10:05,537
Oh, I'm sorry, Bowie.
241
00:10:05,623 --> 00:10:08,458
- You didn't think that was funny?
- I don't know. It just felt like
242
00:10:08,459 --> 00:10:09,842
you were working a little too hard.
243
00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:12,753
Kind of like the straps
on your bag, big girl?
244
00:10:12,838 --> 00:10:14,713
Ooh.
[laughter]
245
00:10:14,798 --> 00:10:16,798
I mean, I didn't realize
you were a husky!
246
00:10:16,842 --> 00:10:18,092
[laughter]
247
00:10:18,093 --> 00:10:20,093
- Well, I never!
- Miss a meal?
248
00:10:20,137 --> 00:10:22,972
Tell me about it. You keep
up like this, your human is
249
00:10:22,973 --> 00:10:25,808
gonna have to trade that
purse in for a duffel, baby!
250
00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:27,060
[laughter]
251
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:29,645
Diablo's speaking truth to power.
252
00:10:29,688 --> 00:10:32,439
Diablo, I made you a purse dog.
253
00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:35,067
One more crack,
and I'll make you a hearse dog!
254
00:10:35,194 --> 00:10:37,277
Come on and punch down,
you bag hags!
255
00:10:37,321 --> 00:10:39,154
Well, that was more clever
than funny.
256
00:10:39,198 --> 00:10:42,533
Well, you can't expect
too much from a floor dog.
257
00:10:42,618 --> 00:10:44,911
Floor dog?
I'm not a... Ah!
258
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:49,206
The floor! It burns!
It burns!
259
00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:51,750
- Ugh!
- Did you guys hear something?
260
00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:54,628
My ears don't work down.
[whimpering]
261
00:10:54,672 --> 00:10:57,965
[laughter]
262
00:10:58,050 --> 00:11:00,842
[all chanting]
Bite the fence! Bite the fence!
263
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,220
[groaning]
I've never felt so...
264
00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:05,264
Agh... alive!
265
00:11:05,349 --> 00:11:07,891
Ha!
We're just gettin' warmed up!
266
00:11:07,893 --> 00:11:09,343
[laughter]
[shrieks]
267
00:11:09,353 --> 00:11:12,354
- Oh, yeah!
- [laughing] Oh! Whoa!
268
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:13,690
[upbeat rock music]
269
00:11:13,691 --> 00:11:17,401
[laughter]
270
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:19,528
[train horn whistles]
271
00:11:19,572 --> 00:11:21,405
- Oh!
- Ah!
272
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,615
- Ah!
- Whoo!
273
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:25,117
Witness me!
274
00:11:25,202 --> 00:11:27,953
Ladies and gentlemen,
please direct your attention
275
00:11:28,038 --> 00:11:30,247
to the northwest corner
of the room,
276
00:11:30,332 --> 00:11:35,168
where our legacy express has
already left the station.
277
00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:38,505
Give it up for these old, old cats.
278
00:11:38,591 --> 00:11:39,632
[applause]
279
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:43,010
[eerie organ music]
280
00:11:43,053 --> 00:11:46,346
This is wrong.
This is so wrong!
281
00:11:46,432 --> 00:11:47,599
Hup!
282
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,391
My fellow felines,
283
00:11:49,435 --> 00:11:51,893
these merciless monsters
have no right
284
00:11:51,937 --> 00:11:56,648
- to control our destinies!
- That blurry shape is right!
285
00:11:56,734 --> 00:11:58,775
How dare they devalue us
286
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,153
just because
we are no longer kittens!
287
00:12:01,196 --> 00:12:04,406
Yeah, we have our whole lives
ahead of us.
288
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:05,575
[groans]
289
00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:07,826
Everything changes tonight!
290
00:12:07,953 --> 00:12:11,163
- It's mid-afternoon!
- On my signal,
291
00:12:11,206 --> 00:12:14,791
we scratch the eyes out
of every human in sight.
292
00:12:14,877 --> 00:12:17,377
Charge!
[cheering]
293
00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:19,338
Freedom!
294
00:12:19,423 --> 00:12:21,465
[yowl turns into yawn]
295
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,050
Am I doing it?
296
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:24,177
[yowls]
297
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,720
All right,
who's ready to dig deep
298
00:12:26,805 --> 00:12:29,807
- into some emotional dirt today?
- Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
299
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:31,892
Oh, my god, Chief,
you poor thing!
300
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,394
You can't keep acting
301
00:12:33,395 --> 00:12:36,105
- like a dog in your threes.
- What's that?
302
00:12:36,106 --> 00:12:38,723
The wasps stung the insides
of both my ears,
303
00:12:38,734 --> 00:12:41,526
so I'm pretty much just
reading lips at this point.
304
00:12:41,612 --> 00:12:43,062
Anyway, guess what?
305
00:12:43,113 --> 00:12:48,201
- Today was so much fun!
- [spits] Wait, really?
306
00:12:48,202 --> 00:12:50,661
And Banshee said
after I go bumper humping,
307
00:12:50,746 --> 00:12:53,413
he's gonna make me an official
member of their crew!
308
00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:55,832
All right, I'm gonna go try
and knock my shoulder
309
00:12:55,918 --> 00:12:58,410
- back into its socket.
- What's bumper humping?
310
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:03,632
Bumper humping is what
common dogs call chasing cars.
311
00:13:03,759 --> 00:13:06,141
- Diablo?
- How did you get in Jill's virtue
312
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:08,720
- signaling tote bag?
- Don't worry about it.
313
00:13:08,806 --> 00:13:10,932
Wait, car chasing?
No, no, Chief would never...
314
00:13:10,933 --> 00:13:14,017
That's the most dangerous
sport known to dogkind.
315
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,812
Yep, I know of three dogs
and a frog
316
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:19,314
who all died chasing
the four-wheeled dragon.
317
00:13:19,358 --> 00:13:21,233
The frog was actually
raised by the dogs.
318
00:13:21,318 --> 00:13:23,507
It's kind of a long story,
but really quite beautiful
319
00:13:23,508 --> 00:13:25,963
- if anyone has time to...
- I've got to talk some sense into Chief,
320
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,614
or else he's gonna chase a car.
321
00:13:27,658 --> 00:13:28,741
It's gonna crash into...
322
00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:29,894
- Ow!
- A toxic waste truck,
323
00:13:29,895 --> 00:13:31,062
spilling radioactive material
324
00:13:31,063 --> 00:13:32,501
- into the water supply.
- [groans]
325
00:13:32,536 --> 00:13:34,523
The people of Los Angeles
turn into mutants.
326
00:13:34,566 --> 00:13:37,318
And then when Jill becomes the
leader of the mutant resistance,
327
00:13:37,319 --> 00:13:39,778
who is going to put more
treats in my puzzle?
328
00:13:39,863 --> 00:13:41,280
Aah!
329
00:13:41,281 --> 00:13:43,448
Our therapist,
ladies and gentlemen.
330
00:13:43,492 --> 00:13:45,408
[tense music]
331
00:13:45,494 --> 00:13:47,702
[yowling]
332
00:13:47,788 --> 00:13:49,831
No! Don't!
Do not approach her!
333
00:13:49,832 --> 00:13:52,082
She will only go to Stelios.
334
00:13:52,167 --> 00:13:55,231
[sighs] I'm getting too old
for dealing with cats
335
00:13:55,232 --> 00:13:56,711
that are too old for this.
336
00:13:56,797 --> 00:14:00,882
You will pay for your sins,
pretty kitty kitty litter.
337
00:14:00,926 --> 00:14:02,717
[yowls]
338
00:14:02,761 --> 00:14:05,440
Ugh! Gah!
339
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:06,926
A-gah.
340
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:09,844
[groans]
Remember my name. Ah.
341
00:14:09,888 --> 00:14:12,640
- What was her name?
- Who said that?
342
00:14:12,641 --> 00:14:16,853
- Close the door!
- Hey, Chief, do you have a second?
343
00:14:16,888 --> 00:14:20,230
Nice try, Honey, but nothing
you say is going to stop me
344
00:14:20,315 --> 00:14:22,148
from going to the big car chase.
345
00:14:22,192 --> 00:14:24,025
I've been training non-stop.
346
00:14:24,111 --> 00:14:25,944
I've even been
holding in my farts
347
00:14:26,029 --> 00:14:27,292
to prepare
for the methane boost
348
00:14:27,293 --> 00:14:31,289
- to give me that extra burst of speed.
- No, sweetie, no, I'm not trying
349
00:14:31,290 --> 00:14:32,297
to convince you of anything.
350
00:14:32,321 --> 00:14:34,411
If this is something
you're passionate about,
351
00:14:34,496 --> 00:14:37,122
then I support you now
and always, Chief.
352
00:14:37,165 --> 00:14:39,916
That's why I even got you
some track shoes.
353
00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:44,046
- Aw, Honey, you shouldn't have!
- Come on, they're in here.
354
00:14:44,047 --> 00:14:47,717
- You are seriously the best.
- Now!
355
00:14:47,718 --> 00:14:50,301
[sneaky music]
356
00:14:50,387 --> 00:14:51,970
Hey, hey!
We're not doing that.
357
00:14:52,097 --> 00:14:53,888
You sure?
It's included.
358
00:14:53,974 --> 00:14:56,850
- Meh.
- Why'd it get so dark in here?
359
00:14:56,935 --> 00:15:00,967
Help! Honey!
I can't find the track shoes!
360
00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:05,234
[sirens wailing]
Tabitha!
361
00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:06,860
Thank god you're okay!
362
00:15:06,903 --> 00:15:10,072
- You were so brave.
- Kit Kat?
363
00:15:10,073 --> 00:15:14,409
You led a revolution.
I'm so proud to know you.
364
00:15:14,453 --> 00:15:16,661
You were right.
We cats are more
365
00:15:16,747 --> 00:15:18,329
than sexy hunks of meat.
366
00:15:18,415 --> 00:15:21,082
We are also sexy hunks of soul.
367
00:15:21,126 --> 00:15:26,129
- Yes, that's exactly what I...
- And the winner is Kit Kat!
368
00:15:26,173 --> 00:15:27,623
[gasps and screams]
369
00:15:27,632 --> 00:15:30,091
I'm Pretty kitty kitty litter's
pretty ki... ki...
370
00:15:30,218 --> 00:15:33,720
Whatever, I...
I won!
371
00:15:33,805 --> 00:15:38,183
- Suck it, uggos.
- Nooo!
372
00:15:38,226 --> 00:15:44,189
Long live the revoluti...
Ohh, that feels nice.
373
00:15:44,232 --> 00:15:46,307
[downtempo jazz music]
374
00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:51,529
Oh, look, this poor floor putz
has to work for a living.
375
00:15:51,615 --> 00:15:52,823
[laughter]
376
00:15:52,824 --> 00:15:55,408
Diablo?
Are these your new friends?
377
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:57,994
[whispers] Introduce me.
Make it seem like it was your idea.
378
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,330
Diablo, you know this floor mutt?
379
00:16:00,415 --> 00:16:03,500
- Yeah, we're actually...
- Who, this bath mat-looking bitch?
380
00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:06,245
No!
She's just some ground mongrel
381
00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:08,588
who wishes she was one of us.
382
00:16:08,632 --> 00:16:10,715
[laughter]
383
00:16:10,801 --> 00:16:14,719
Wow. I get it.
I would do exactly what you're doing.
384
00:16:14,805 --> 00:16:16,346
But doesn't hurt any less.
385
00:16:16,389 --> 00:16:19,766
After a humiliation
like that, I'd run away.
386
00:16:19,851 --> 00:16:23,020
With those stumpy legs,
that is a run!
387
00:16:23,021 --> 00:16:25,105
[laughter]
388
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:27,306
How do you not have
a late night show?
389
00:16:27,317 --> 00:16:30,402
Good thing you've been studying
up on your bitchcraft, Elsa.
390
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:34,197
Canis defixio.
Hoistes petardes!
391
00:16:35,659 --> 00:16:38,119
- [gasps] My purse!
- Aah! What do I do?
392
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,745
What do I do?
Aah!
393
00:16:40,789 --> 00:16:45,291
Oh, my god, it worked!
Legsus growus!
394
00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:49,504
Oh, well.
At least Diablo's gonna die.
395
00:16:49,548 --> 00:16:50,214
[all grunting]
396
00:16:50,215 --> 00:16:53,842
Well, well, well,
look who we have here,
397
00:16:53,885 --> 00:16:57,011
- Chief's mom.
- I'm not... all right, fine.
398
00:16:57,055 --> 00:17:00,140
My son, Chief,
is done with car chasing.
399
00:17:00,183 --> 00:17:02,600
In fact, none of you
should be doing this.
400
00:17:02,686 --> 00:17:04,019
It's way too dangerous,
401
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,937
and it always gets in the way
of my puzzles.
402
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:08,321
[tires screeching]
I will never understand why anyone
403
00:17:08,356 --> 00:17:10,401
- would risk their lives for...
- Help!
404
00:17:10,402 --> 00:17:14,571
- Wait, is that...
- Yes, Honey, it's me, Diablo, from group!
405
00:17:14,614 --> 00:17:17,407
I've come to a realization
about the purse dog life,
406
00:17:17,492 --> 00:17:19,909
and I'd love to dig into it
with you after you save me
407
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,953
because I'm being purse-napped!
408
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,038
I also got in some
sick burns earlier
409
00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:27,083
I want to tell you about,
but again, the purse-napping!
410
00:17:27,127 --> 00:17:29,711
Also, do you know
what Tabitha did at
411
00:17:29,754 --> 00:17:31,834
- the pretty kitty kitty litter...
- I'm coming, Diablo!
412
00:17:31,858 --> 00:17:34,299
[exciting music]
413
00:17:34,342 --> 00:17:37,260
- Ow!
- I wish my mom was that cool.
414
00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:38,803
Don't worry, Diablo!
415
00:17:38,889 --> 00:17:42,015
I'm going to hump that bumper
if it's the last thing I do!
416
00:17:42,058 --> 00:17:45,476
Honey! Aah!
417
00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,562
? ?
418
00:17:47,606 --> 00:17:49,480
[grunting]
419
00:17:49,566 --> 00:17:54,777
? ?
420
00:17:54,821 --> 00:17:56,271
[gasps]
421
00:17:58,116 --> 00:17:59,616
[train horn whistles]
422
00:17:59,701 --> 00:18:01,827
Ah!
I don't know you, lady,
423
00:18:01,828 --> 00:18:03,745
but I'm down for whatever
you have in mind!
424
00:18:03,788 --> 00:18:08,875
? ?
425
00:18:08,919 --> 00:18:10,369
[engine revs]
426
00:18:14,007 --> 00:18:17,501
You have all that you need
within you.
427
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,223
[farts]
Whoo!
428
00:18:22,224 --> 00:18:23,265
- Huh?
- Let's go!
429
00:18:23,266 --> 00:18:24,266
- Chaos, baby!
- Ugh!
430
00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:27,894
[groaning]
[tires screeching]
431
00:18:27,979 --> 00:18:30,689
[farts]
You caught the car and saved me!
432
00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:32,482
You're a hero!
433
00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,485
Ah!
Oh, purse legs.
434
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:36,721
[sniffing]
Honey, there you are!
435
00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:38,222
I found the track shoes!
436
00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,141
I... I think I have
to break them in though.
437
00:18:40,226 --> 00:18:41,518
They're a little uncomfortable.
438
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:43,895
[police radio chatter]
Wait. What's going on?
439
00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:47,565
You're a legend, Chief's mom!
You actually caught a car!
440
00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:49,609
None of us have ever
done that before.
441
00:18:49,652 --> 00:18:53,571
- Well, Douche came close once.
- Wassup!
442
00:18:53,656 --> 00:18:57,241
We would be honored
if you wanted to join our crew.
443
00:18:57,285 --> 00:18:59,744
Yeah, that's gonna be
a no from me, dawg.
444
00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:03,414
- Okay, then. Later.
- Um, guys? [chuckles nervously]
445
00:19:03,458 --> 00:19:05,583
Does this mean you don't
want to hang anymore?
446
00:19:05,627 --> 00:19:06,960
I... I thought we were friends.
447
00:19:06,961 --> 00:19:09,921
That's before you were
wearing pots on your feet.
448
00:19:10,006 --> 00:19:12,874
- What's wrong with you, man?
- Come on, Chief, let's go.
449
00:19:12,884 --> 00:19:15,968
- You don't need those guys.
- Yeah, maybe you're right.
450
00:19:16,012 --> 00:19:18,221
I don't need them
to feel young and cool.
451
00:19:18,264 --> 00:19:20,473
I have you.
As long as you're around,
452
00:19:20,517 --> 00:19:22,850
I'll always be the younger
and cooler one.
453
00:19:22,894 --> 00:19:24,644
Bitch, I caught a car today!
454
00:19:24,729 --> 00:19:27,355
Sorry, sorry.
I just feel so alive.
455
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,315
What's next?
Should we take off our collars
456
00:19:29,401 --> 00:19:31,192
and see what kind of weirdo
takes us home?
457
00:19:31,277 --> 00:19:33,277
You wanna start a fight club
with that skunk?
458
00:19:33,363 --> 00:19:35,780
How 'bout we go home and
I help you with that puzzle?
459
00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:38,950
The treat is mine!
I mean, aww.
460
00:19:38,993 --> 00:19:40,160
[jazzy music]
461
00:19:40,281 --> 00:19:41,544
Well, you'll be happy to hear
462
00:19:41,545 --> 00:19:43,920
that I won't be doing
cat shows anymore.
463
00:19:43,952 --> 00:19:45,599
- What happened?
- Some old cat
464
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,246
freaked out during the legacy parade.
465
00:19:47,247 --> 00:19:49,997
I mean, she was too young to
be in legacy parade, but still.
466
00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:52,709
Anyways, I got blamed.
Now I'm banned for life.
467
00:19:52,710 --> 00:19:55,211
Oh, my god!
This is perfect timing for you,
468
00:19:55,296 --> 00:19:57,577
considering you're probably
way too old to compete anyway.
469
00:19:57,601 --> 00:20:02,051
- [laughs] Never change, Chico!
- And now to the world of dogs.
470
00:20:02,095 --> 00:20:04,262
Elsa, I owe you an apology.
471
00:20:04,347 --> 00:20:08,517
- I'm sorry I became such a purse monster.
- That's okay.
472
00:20:08,518 --> 00:20:11,894
And I have nothing
to apologize for in return.
473
00:20:11,938 --> 00:20:14,523
- Aw, that's nice.
And you'll all be happy to know
474
00:20:14,524 --> 00:20:16,482
that I'm giving up
the purse game.
475
00:20:16,526 --> 00:20:18,109
Really?
How did you get out of it?
476
00:20:18,236 --> 00:20:20,528
Well, let's just say I handled it.
477
00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:22,613
[chuckles]
And I think we have a clip?
478
00:20:22,657 --> 00:20:24,532
A clip?
What are you talking abou...
479
00:20:25,285 --> 00:20:26,285
[squelching]
[sniffs]
480
00:20:26,286 --> 00:20:28,160
Ugh! Diablo!
481
00:20:28,246 --> 00:20:30,496
It's on my invisalign!
482
00:20:30,582 --> 00:20:34,000
So really,
you could say she handled it.
483
00:20:34,043 --> 00:20:35,043
Handled what?
484
00:20:35,044 --> 00:20:37,129
You just stopped talking
for a couple of seconds.
485
00:20:37,130 --> 00:20:39,756
- Diablo, what's going on with you?
- I don't know.
486
00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:42,091
Being a purse dog
really rattled my brain.
487
00:20:42,093 --> 00:20:45,344
- We'll be right back.
- Uh, back from where?
488
00:20:48,258 --> 00:20:50,808
Before we wrap up
the 45th annual
489
00:20:50,972 --> 00:20:53,556
Pretty kitty kitty litter
pretty kitty cat show,
490
00:20:53,641 --> 00:20:54,933
let's take a moment to honor
491
00:20:54,934 --> 00:20:57,768
the fabulous felines
we've lost this year.
492
00:20:57,854 --> 00:20:59,353
[Sarah McLachlan's "Angel" playing]
493
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:05,039
- ? Meow, meow, meow, meow ?
- Nope, nope. I can't do it.
494
00:21:05,074 --> 00:21:10,519
? ?
495
00:21:29,260 --> 00:21:32,470
I thought Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
died years ago.
496
00:21:33,795 --> 00:21:37,983
sync & correction by f1nc0
-- Addic7ed.com --
497
00:21:38,033 --> 00:21:42,583
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38047
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof