Original subtitles

(NARRATOR) THIS 1S BEVERLY HILLS.

HERE DWELL THE RICH,

THE FAMOUS,

THE GLAMOROUS,

MOVIE STARS,

ROYALTY IN EXILE,

RETIRED MILLIONAIRES,

SPORTSMEN,

PLAYBOYS,

HILLBILLIES.

HILLBILLIES?

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

WHERE ARE THEY FROM?

AND WHY DID THEY COME TO BEVERLY HILLS?

WE'LL DISCOVER THE ANSWERS IN A MOMENT

AS WE BRING YOU

"THE HILLBILLIES."

WELL, COME ON,

LET'S FIND THAT HOUSE WE BOUGHT.

HOUSE THEY BOUGHT?

IN BEVERLY HILLS?

WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE,

HOLD ITT.

HOW COULDA BUNCH OF HILLBILLIES

POSSIBLY BUY A MANSION LIKE THIS?

LET'S TAKE THEM BACK

TO THEIR HOME IN THE OZARKS

AND SEE HOW THIS WHOLE THING STARTED.

JED, YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING

ABOUT THE YOUNGIN OF YOURN.

HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?

FIGHTING WITH A BOBCAT.

GET HURT?

I RECKON SO.

IT WENT LIMPIN' OFF ON THREE LEGS.

I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW

WHAT I'M GONNA DO ABOUT THAT GIRL.

WELL, THE FIRST THING TO DO

IS TO GET HER INTO A DRESS.

SHE'S GETTING TOO BIG

TO BE WEARIN' MEN'S DUDS.

LOOKIE HERE,

SHE'S DONE POP THE BUTTONS

OFF OF HER SHIRT AGAIN.

ELLY MAY CARRIES HERSELF PROUD

WITH HER SHOULDERS THROWD BACK.

IT AIN'T HER SHOULDERS

THAT'S POPPIN' THESE BUTTONS.

SHE'S A FULLY GROWN UP,

ROUNDED OUT FEMALE WOMAN.

TIME SHE STARTED ACTING LIKE ONE.

WELL, ONE OF THESE DAYS

SOME BOY WILL COME ALONG

AND START COURTING HER AND...

THEY CAME COURTING

WHEN SHE WAS 12.

WHAT DID SHE DO?

SHE WHOOPED THE TAR OUT OF 'EM.

WELL, IT AIN'T FIT.

GIRL RUNNIN' AROUND

AS WILD AS A COUGAR,

WRESTLING, FIGHTIN’,

AND HUNTIN'.

SHE OUGHT TO BE DOING WOMAN'S WORK,

HELPING ME WITH THE STILL.

WELL, I'LL SPEAK TO HER.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME,

BETTER GO DOWN

AND STOMP OUT THE FIRE

UNDER THAT MASH.

NOW, HOLD ON NOW, GRANNY.

YOU AIN'T GONNA STOMP OUT

NO FIRE LIKE THAT, ARE YOU?

HUH?

OH, OF COURSE NOT.

DON'T WANNA BURN MY SHOES.

PA?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

GRANNY?

SOMEBODY OPEN THE DOOR.

HOWDY, PA.

WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

A STRANGER.

WHERE'D YOU GET HIM?

I BEANED HIM WITH A ROCK.

WHAT FOR?

HE WAS SNOOPIN' AROUND DOWN BY THE SLOUGH.

FIGURED HE MIGHT BE A REVENUVER.

HE AIN'T NO REVENUER.

THEN CAN I KEEP HIM?

OF COURSE NOT.

WELL, I CAUGHT HIM.

THAT DON'T MATTER.

WELL HE WON'T BE NO TROUBLE.

I COULD KEEP HIM OUT IN THE SMOKEHOUSE.

ELLY MAY,

YOU CAN'T KEEP PEOPLE

LIKE THEY WERE DOGS AND CATS.

OOH,

OOH, EE, OW, OOW.

WHO'S THAT?

SOME FELLER ELLY FOUND NOSIN' AROUND.

I BEANED HIM WITH A ROCK

SO HE'D BE EASIER TO TOTE.

WHY, THAT THERE FELLA'S

FROM THE PETROLEUM COMPANY.

WHAT'S A PETROLEUM?

I DON'T KNOW.

HE ASKED ME IF HE COULD DO SOME

WILD-CATTIN' DOWN BY THE SLOUGH.

I SAID, HELP YOURSELF,

WE'RE GLAD TO GET RID OF THE CRITTERS.

WHAT'D HE SAY?

HE JUST LAUGHED.

THE LAUGH'S ON HIM,

THERE AIN'T NO WILDCATS

DOWN THERE AT THAT SLOUGH.

HECK, NO.

IT'S TOO FULL OF OIL.

OH, WHAT HAPPENED?

WHERE AM I?

THIS HERE IS THE CLAMPETT PLACE.

I'M JED CLAMPETT,

MY YOUNGIN ELLY MAY,

AND GRANNY.

GRANNY SAYS YOU'VE BEEN DOING SOME WILD-CATTIN'.

LOOK, THERE'S NO NEED TO.

MR. CLAMPETT,

THAT SWAMP OF YOURS IS FULL OF OIL.

I COULD'VE TOLD YOU THAT.

WELL, MY COMPANY WOULD LIKE TO PUMP IT OUT.

YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT, TOO,

BUT I JUST CAN'T AFFORD TO HAVE IT DONE.

OH, NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU SEE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.

OH, I DON'T TAKE FAVORS FROM STRANGERS.

NO, NO, NO, MR. CLAMPETT.

YOU SEE, UH,

YOU'RE A VERY RICH MAN.

HOW BIG A ROCK

DID YOU BEAN HIM WITH?

NO BIGGER THAN A HEDGE APPLE.

LISTEN, I'VE GOTTA CALL MY OFFICE IN TULSA.

HAVE YOU GOT A TELEPHONE?

A WHAT?

A TELEPHONE.

WELL, MAYBE ONE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS HAS ONE.

IT'S A, A...

WELL, DOWN IN THIS COUNTRY,

IT'S PROBABLY A BOX

ATTACHED TO THE WALL.

AND, UH, YOU TALK INTO IT

AND THEY CAN HEAR YOU IN TULSA.

MAYBE YOU BETTER SIT DOWN FOR A SPELL.

NO, I HAVEN'T TIME.

LISTEN, WHERE'S THE NEAREST AIRFIELD?

AIRFIELD?

YOU KNOW, GRANNY,

THAT'S ONE OF THEM AIR FIELDS

SITS UP IN THE AIR.

OH, NEVER MIND,

I'LL FIND IT MYSELF.

LISTEN, NOW DON'T YOU SELL THAT SWAMP

'TIL YOU HEAR FROM ME.

I'M FLYING TO TULSA.

NOW HE THINKS HE'S GOT WINGS.

(ROOSTER CROWING)

MORNING, GRANNY.

WATCH THEM BUTTONS, CHILD.

GRANNY!

THEM PIGS OF YOURS

GOT INTO THE CORN.

DID THEY DRINK MUCH?

I RECKON THEY DID.

THIS HERE LITTLE FELLOW

WAS KICKING BLUE BLAZES OUTTA THE MULE.

THAT'S THE TROUBLE WITH RAZORBACKS.

THEY SUCH A MEAN DRUNK.

(PIG SQUEAL)

THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN

IF YOU'D STAY IN THE HOUSE

WHERE YOU BELONG.

THERE IT IS, MR. BREWSTER.

FROM THE TESTS AND SURVEYS,

I SAY THAT'S GONNA BE ONE OF THE RICHEST POOLS

SINCE EAST TEXAS.

NEWS LIKE THIS IS BOUND TO GET OUT.

LET'S GO DOWN AND GET CLAMPETT'S NAME ON A DEAL.

WHERE'S THE GUN?

WHERE IS IT?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU OUGHTA SEE

WHAT JUST FLEW OVER BLUEBERRY RIDGE.

WHAT?

THE DAG-BLAMEDEST, BIGGEST BIRD

YOU EVER LAID EYES ON.

PROBABLY JUST AN OVERGROWN CHICKEN HAWK.

CHICKEN HAWK, NOTHIN".

THAT THING COULD MAKE OFF WITH A HOG.

HURRY UP,

PUT THAT GUN TOGETHER.

NO ROOM TO LAND NEAR THE CABIN, MR. BREWSTER.

IT'S TOO ROCKY AND HILLY.

THEN LET'S GET THE SLING READY TO BE LOWERED.

WELL, MR. BREWSTER,

THAT MIGHT BE DANGEROUS.

HANG THE DANGER.

WE'RE GONNA BE THE FIRST OIL COMPANY DOWN THERE

IF IT KILLS YOU.

YES, SIR.

ME?

DON'T WORRY.

IF IT'S SAFE, I'LL FOLLOW YOU.

GRANNY, I SEE IT.

THERE IT IS.

LAND OF MERCY, LOOK AT THAT.

WHAT YOU DOING, GRANNY?

THAT THING'S ONLY GOT ONE CLAW,

BUT DANGED IF IT AIN'T GRABBED UP A MAN.

HURRY, PA.

IT'S MY STRANGER.

WHERE IS IT?

JUST FLEW OVER THE HOUSE,

PLL GET IT ON THE OTHER SIDE.

(GUNSHOTS)

DID YOU KILL IT, GRANNY?

NO, BUT I MADE IT DROP THAT STRANGER.

JETHRO, STOP THIS THING!

GRANNY!

GRANNY!

YES, JED?

GRANNY, GRAB A HOLD OF SOMETHIN'

AND HANG ON.

COUSIN PEARL AND THAT OVERGROWN SON OF HERS

IS HEADED RIGHT FOR THE CABIN IN THAT OLD TRUCK.

HEAVEN PROTECT US.

OH, OH, JETHRO!

DID THEY HIT US, JED?

NO, BUT I THINK

THEY SURE WHOPPED THE CHICKEN HOUSE.

OH, JED, I'M SURE SORRY

ABOUT THE CHICKEN HOUSE.

BUT NOBODY GOT HURT.

JETHRO, I TOLD YOU

TO GET RID OF THEM WORN OUT BRAKES.

I DID, MA.

THAT'S HOW COME WE AIN'T GOT NONE.

GET ON OUT AND LIFT THE CHICKEN HOUSE

BACK ON ITS FOUNDATION.

JED.

YEAH?

JED, ELLY MAY CAME RUNNING OVER TO MY PLACE

AND SHE SAID YOU SOLD THE SWAMP

TO SOME OIL COMPANY.

WELL, YEAH, I GUESS I DID.

WHAT DID THEY PAY YOU FOR IT?

WELL, THEY AIN'T PAID ME NOTHING YET.

THAT BREWSTER FELLOW SAID HE'D BRING THE MONEY LATER.

WELL, HOW MUCH THEY GONNA PAY YOU?

WELL, HE SAID IT DEPENDS ON HOW MUCH OIL

THEY COULD PUMP OUT OF IT.

WELL, HE MUST HAVE MENTIONED SOME FIGURE.

WHAT WAS IT?

WELL, NOW, PEARL,

YOU KNOW THAT OLD SWAMP WASN'T WORTH SHUCKS.

JED CLAMPETT,

YOU GOT SLICKERED

AND YOU'RE ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT.

THAT'S JUST WHAT I TOLD HIM.

GRANNY, HOW MUCH THEY GONNA PAY HIM?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU.

HE SAID AROUND SOMEWHERE BETWEEN 25 AND 100.

25 AND 100?

I KNOW IT DON'T SOUND LIKE MUCH,

BUT MR. BREWSTER SEEMED TO SAY

A GREAT STORY BY THE FACT

THAT HE'S GONNA PAY ME

IN SOME NEW KIND OF DOLLAR.

THERE AIN'T NO NEW KIND OF DOLLARS.

WELL, IT'S NEW TO ME.

I'VE HEARD OF GOLD DOLLARS,

SILVER DOLLARS,

PAPER DOLLARS,

BUT HE SAID HE'S GONNA PAY ME IN, VH,

WHAT'D HE CALL 'EM, GRANNY?

MILLION DOLLARS.

YEAH, THAT'S IT.

MILLION DOLLARS?

HE WROTE THE WHOLE THING OUT ON THIS PIECE OF PAPER.

HERE, YOU CAN SEE FOR YOURSELF.

I DON'T KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF.

LET'S SEE HERE NOW.

SAINTS IN HEAVEN.

(COUGHING)

GRANNY, GIVE ME THE JUG.

IT'S EMPTY, BUT I'LL FETCH SOME.

I'LL GO, GRANNY.

JED,

JED,

YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE.

A MILLIONAIRE.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT THE BREWSTER FELLA

KEPT CALLING ME.

I DIDN'T KNOW JUST HOW TO TAKE IT.

HE MEANT YOU'RE RICH.

ME?

THE RICHEST MAN IN THESE HILLS,

MAYBE IN THE WHOLE STATE.

JED, YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT,

DO ANYTHING YOU WANT,

GO ANY PLACE YOU WANT.

YEAH, THAT'S ANOTHER THING HE KEPT SAYING.

HE SAID HE RECKONED

I'D BE MOVING AWAY FROM HERE SOON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, PEARL?

YOU THINK I OUGHT TO MOVE?

JED, HOW CAN YOU EVEN ASK?

LOOK AROUND YOU.

YOU'RE EIGHT MILES FROM YOUR NEAREST NEIGHBOR.

YOU'RE OVERRUN WITH SKUNKS,

POSSUMS,

COYOTES,

BOBCATS.

YOU USE KEROSENE LAMPS FOR LIGHT,

YOU COOK ON A WOOD STOVE

SUMMER AND WINTER.

YOU'RE DRINKING HOMEMADE MOONSHINE,

WASHING WITH HOMEMADE LYE SOAP,

AND YOUR BATHROOM

IS 50 FEET FROM THE HOUSE

AND YOU ASK SHOULD YOU MOVE?

WELL, I RECKON YOU'RE RIGHT.

A MAN WOULD BE A DANGED FOOL TO LEAVE ALL THIS.

OH, THERE YOU ARE, JED.

YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME.

I MEANT YOU SHOULD MOVE AWAY.

AND YOU KNOW WHERE I'D GO IF I WAS YOU?

WHERE?

CA-LI-FORNY.

CALIFORNY?

YES, SIR.

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNY.

JED, REMEMBER THE TIME

THAT YOUR PA TOOK US TO EUREKA SPRINGS

TO SEE THE MOVIE PICTURE?

YEAH.

WELL, THE ACTORS THAT MAKE THEM MOVIE PICTURES

LIVE IN BEVERLY HILLS.

GO ON.

YES, SIR.

WELL, DOGGY.

WOULDN'T THAT BE SOMETHING?

LIVING IN THE SAME NECK OF THE WOODS

AS OLD TOM MIX.

IT SURE WOULD.

AND WE COULD COME VISIT YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY SAY ABOUT CALIFORNY?

WHAT?

YOU DON'T GET COLD OUT THERE.

WHAT DON'T GET COLD OUT THERE?

NOTHIN' DON'T GET COLD OUT THERE.

THEY DON'T HAVE NO SNOW

OR NO ICE.

CAN'T THEY BRING SOME IN?

THEY DON'T WANT IT.

THAT'S WHY IT'D BE SO GOOD FOR GRANNY.

REMEMBER LAST WINTER

WHEN SHE SLIPPED ON THE ICE

AND BROKE HER HIP?

YEAH.

POOR OLD WOMAN.

SHE WAS LIMPIN' FOR TWO DAYS.

WELL, THAT COULDN'T HAPPEN IN CALIFORNY

BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE NO ICE.

HOW COME?

I DON'T KNOW HOW COME.

BUT GRANNY'D SURE LIKE IT.

AND WE COULD VISIT YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE THEY SAY ABOUT CALIFORNY?

MAYBE JETHRO WOULD KNOW HOW COME THERE'S NO ICE.

HE'S GOIN' TO SCHOOL.

WE COULD ASK HIM.

JETHRO?

YEAH, MA?

COME ON OVER HERE.

SPEAKING OF SCHOOL,

ELLY MAY COULD GET HERSELF

A FINE EDUCATION OUT THERE IN BEVERLY HILLS.

YEAH, MA?

YOUR RICH UNCLE'S GOT A QUESTION

HE'D LIKE TO ASK YOU.

WHAT RICH UNCLE, MA?

YOUR RICH UNCLE JED.

JETHRO,

HOW COME THERE'S NO ICE IN CALIFORNY?

DON'T LOOK AT ME, I DIDN'T TAKE IT.

YOU BIG DUMB...

WELL, I DIDN'T, MA.

OH, GET OUTTA HERE.

AS I WAS SAYING, JED,

FOLKS CLAIM,

CALIFORNY'S GOT IT ALL BEAT.

WHY, THINGS GROW TWICE AS BIG OUT THERE.

JETHRO WOULD BE A WHOPPER,

WOULDN'T HE?

SAY, HE COULD HELP YOU MOVE.

HE'S AWFUL HANDY

AT LIFTIN' AND TOTIN'.

AND HE COULD DRIVE YOU OUT IN MY TRUCK.

WELL, NOW,

I COULDN'T LET YOU DO THAT.

JED, WE'RE KINFOLK.

WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS.

AND THEN I COULD COME OUT LATER

AND RIDE BACK WITH HIM.

AND BRING HIS UNMARRIED SISTER ALONG.

WE COULD VISIT FOR A WHILE.

JED, DID I EVER TELL YOU

ABOUT THEM ORANGES

THEY GROW OUT THERE?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, PEARL,

I'M GONNA HAVE TO STUDY ON THIS.

WHEN THAT BREWSTER FELLOW COMES BACK,

I'LL ASK HIM WHAT HE THINKS.

WELL, YOUR COUSIN IS RIGHT ABOUT THAT,

MR. CLAMPETT.

BEVERLY HILLS ISA CHOICE RESIDENTIAL AREA

AND LOTS OF MILLIONAIRES DO SETTLE THERE.

FOLKS LIKE ME, HUH?

WELL, UH, MILLIONAIRES.

AND MOVIE STARS, TOO.

OH, YES, YES.

IS TOM MIX THERE?

NO, I'M AFRAID MR. MIX IS DEAD.

OH.

OH, YEAH.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME?

REMEMBER, PEARL, HE GOT SHOT

AT THE END OF THAT PICTURE.

WELL, THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER MOVIE STARS,

AND THAT'S WHERE JED WANTS TO LIVE.

AIN'T IT, JED?

I DO LIKE THE NOTION

OF LIVING IN THE HILLS.

NEVER COULD STAND FLAT COUNTRY.

MR. CLAMPETT,

I THINK IT ONLY FAIR...

THAT IS, WELL,

I THINK YOU MAY HAVE A WRONG IDEA

ABOUT BEVERLY HILLS.

IS THAT WHERE YOU LIVE?

NO, MY HOME IS IN TULSA.

OH, SAY,

MAYBE YOU COULD GET US A PLACE THERE

IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD?

MR. CLAMPETT,

LET'S NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH.

YOU WILL LOVE BEVERLY HILLS.

THEN THAT'S IT.

CAN YOU STEER JED

ONTO A GOOD PLACE?

WELL, I CAN GET THE BANK OUT THERE

TO HANDLE IT FOR HIM.

HE'D LIKE A NICE, BIG PLACE

WITH PLENTY OF ROOM

FOR HIS KINFOLK TO VISIT HIM.

WELL, I WOULD LIKE A NICE, ROOMY PLACE

IF I COULD AFFORD IT.

OH, MR. CLAMPETT,

WITH YOUR MONEY,

YOU CAN AFFORD THE TAJ MAHAL.

OKAY, I'LL TAKE IT.

WELL, NO, YOU SEE,

I WAS JUST MAKING A LITTLE JOKE.

OH, WELL, GO RIGHT AHEAD.

WELL, YOU SEE, VH,

THE TAJ MAHAL IS IN INDIA.

MR. BREWSTER,

YOU'RE A NICE FELLA,

BUT I'VE HEARD BETTER JOKES.

IS THE FOREIGNER STAYING FOR SUPPER?

I'M ASHAMED TO SAY

I AIN'T ASKED HIM.

HOW ABOUT IT?

OH I, I DON'T THINK SO.

OH, NO TROUBLE.

WHAT YOU COOKING TONIGHT, GRANNY?

MUSTARD GREENS

AND POSSUM INNARDS.

MM-MMM.

DO YOU HEAR THAT, MR. BREWSTER?

VERY CLEARLY.

WILL IT CHANGE YOUR MIND?

UH, NOT THIS TIME.

WELL, IF YOU SHOULD HAPPEN

TO COME BACK TOMORROW,

WE'LL BE HAVING LEFTOVERS.

THAT'S THE THING ABOUT POSSUM INNARDS.

THEY'S JUST AS GOOD THE SECOND DAY.

ELLY, IF OLD DUKE SITS THERE WITH YOU,

THERE AIN'T GONNA BE ROOM FOR GRANNY.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, PA.

GRANNY AIN'T GOIN’.

WHO SAYS SHE AIN'T?

SHE SAYS SHE AIN'T.

THAT'S RIGHT, UNCLE JED.

SHE'S JUST SITTIN’ ON THE BACK PORCH IN HER ROCKER

AND SHE SAYS THAT'S AS CLOSE TO CALIFORNY

AS YOU'RE GONNA GET HER.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

DANGED IF I AIN'T GOT ME

THE MULIEST WOMENFOLK.

WE AIN'T NEVER GONNA GET THERE.

NOW, WHAT'S ALL THIS NONSENSE

ABOUT YOU AIN'T GOING TO CALIFORNY?

AIN'T NO NONSENSE TOIT.

IF THE GOOD LORD HAD A WANTED ME IN CALIFORNY,

HE'D A PUT ME IN CALIFORNY.

MAYBE HE'S JUST GETTING AROUND TOIT.

THE BOOK SAYS HE MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

WELL, IF HE MOVES ME, I'LL GO.

BUT YOU AND BIG JETHRO

AIN'T A BUDGIN' ME.

AH, GRANNY,

THIS HERE BEVERLY HILLS

SOUNDS LIKE THE KIND OF PLACE YOU'D LIKE.

THAT BREWSTER FELLA SAYS

THEY GOT SMOGS OUT THERE.

WHAT'S A SMOG?

ME AND JETHRO FIGURED OUT

THAT'S A SMALL HOG.

AND YOU HEARD WHAT PEARL SAID TODAY,

THEY AIN'T GOT NO SNOW OUT THERE.

YOU COULD RUN YOUR STILL YEAR-ROUND.

RUNS THE YEAR-ROUND HERE.

YEAH, BUT WALKING DOWN

THROUGH THE SNOW TO THE STILL

ALWAYS MAKES YOU FEEL SO MISERABLE.

I MIGHT FEEL MISERABLE WALKIN' DOWN,

BUT THE WAY I FEELS COMIN' BACK,

MAKES UP FOR IT.

DAG-NABBIT GRANNY.

WE'VE BEEN PLANNING AND TALKING

ABOUT THIS TRIP FOR DAYS.

YOU NEVER SAID YOU WOULDN'T GO.

NEVER SAID I WOULD NEITHER.

BUT THAT BREWSTER FELLER

HAS BOUGHT US A HOUSE

IN THEM BEVERLY HILLS.

HE SENT OUR $25 MILLION

TO THE BANK OUT THERE.

WELL, YOU JUST CHASE ON OUT AFTER IT.

I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.

AND I AIN'T AFEARED NEITHER.

GRANNY, I AIN'T A LEAVIN' YOU HERE ALONE.

AND I AIN'T A BUDGIN'

OUT OF THIS ROCKER.

JETHRO, WHAT DOES THAT SIGN SAY?

IT SAYS "BEVERLY HILLS."

DID YOU HEAR THAT, GRANNY?

WE'RE THERE.

THEY CALL THEM "HILLS"?

WHY WE GOT MOLES THAT CAN PUSH UP

HIGHER RIDGES THAN THAT.

WELL, AT LEAST WAYS, THEY'S HILLS.

WE'LL BE AMONG OUR KINDA FOLKS.

THIS DEPOSIT OF $25 MILLION

TO THE ACCOUNT OF J.D. CLAMPETT.

IS THAT J.D.?

AS IN ROCKEFELLER.

ELEVATES US TO THIRD POSITION

IN CAPITAL ASSETS

AND ASSURES OUR BANK OF...

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

COME IN.

I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT, MR. DRYSDALE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, TAYLOR.

WELL, WE ALL SET TO GIVE THE CLAMPETTS

THEIR RED CARPET RECEPTION?

WELL, I'M AFRAID MRS. DRYSDALE

STILL ISN'T TOO HAPPY, SIR.

YES, I KNOW.

OH, MY WIFE IS VERY UPSET

THAT I GOT THE ESTATE

NEXT TO OURS FOR THE CLAMPETTS.

SAYS I DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE THEY ARE.

DO YOU?

I KNOW TO THE DOLLAR

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE THEY ARE.

THEY'RE MY KIND OF PEOPLE,

LOADED.

TAYLOR, HAVE THE GARDENERS GOT THE GROUNDS IN ORDER?

YES, SIR.

BUT I'M AFRAID THAT'S ANOTHER THING

YOUR WIFE IS UPSET ABOUT.

OH.

WELL, YOU SEE, YOUR GARDENERS HAVE BEEN

WORKING ON THEIR LAWN ALL WEEK.

WHY THEY'VE MOWED IT,

TRIMMED IT,

FED IT,

CLIPPED IT.

I DON'T CARE IF THEY LATHER IT

AND SHAVE IT.

THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MANSION

IN BEVERLY HILLS.

I WANT EVERY SQUARE INCH

OF GROUND WITHIN THOSE WALLS

IN APPLE PIE...

(PHONE RINGING)

YES?

OH, HELLO, MARGARET.

NO, DEAR, I'M VERY B...

WHAT?

WELL, GOOD HEAVENS,

DID YOU CALL THE POLICE?

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

THE CLAMPETT ESTATE IS BEING

INVADED BY A BAND OF OUTLAWS.

INVADED?

YES, THEY'RE HOLDING THE GARDENERS AT GUNPOINT.

SURE IS LUCKY

WE COME ALONG WHEN WE DID.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

THE WAY THEY WERE SLIPPING THROUGH THAT GATE,

ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES

AND THAT WHOLE DARN PRISON

WOULD HAVE BEEN EMPTY.

JETHRO,

YOU SURE THAT'S A PRISON?

YEAH, UNCLE JED,

I SEEN PICTURES.

ONLY THING IS,

HOW COME THERE AIN'T NO GUARDS ON THEM WALLS?

WELL, THEY PROBABLY DONE 'EM IN

WITH THEM KNIVES AND THINGS.

THEY'S KILLERS,

IF I EVER DID SEE ANY.

FINE NEIGHBORHOOD

WE'S MOVING INTO.

(SIREN)

YOU HEAR THAT?

HOT DIGGITY,

THERE'S BOBCATS IN THESE HILLS.

THEM'S SIRENS.

SOMEBODY'S CALLED THE LAW.

I RECKON THEY IS GONNA BE MIGHTY GRATEFUL

FOR WHAT WE'VE DONE.

FOLKS OUT HERE HAS GOT A STRANGE WAY

OF SHOWING THEY'S GRATEFUL.

YEAH, I WONDER WHAT THEY DONE

WITH GRANNY AND ELLY MAY?

I DON'T KNOW.

THEY SURE PUT UP THE SCRAP,

DIDN'T THEY?

YEAH.

ELLY MAY WHIPPED HERSELF THREE POLICEMEN

AND TWO CONVICTS.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

YOU LOCKED UP ONE OF THE RICHEST MEN

IN THE COUNTRY?

MR. CLAMPETT,

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO APOLOGIZE.

I AM DEEPLY HUMILIATED.

WHAT HAVE YOU CUTTHROATS DONE WITH J.D. CLAMPETT?

I'M JED CLAMPETT

AND I'D APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU'D LET GO OF MY SUNDAY SHIRT.

YOU'RE J.D. CLAMPETT,

THE OIL MILLIONAIRE?

YEP, THIS HERE'S MY NEPHEW JETHRO.

HOWDY.

QUICKLY, MAN, UNLOCK THIS CELL.

MR. CLAMPETT,

ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRE CITY OF BEVERLY HILLS,

I EXTEND OUR DEEP

AND HUMBLE APOLOGIES

FOR THIS UNFORTUNATE

AND EMBARRASSING INCIDENT.

OH, I'M MILBURN DRYSDALE,

PRESIDENT OF THE BEVERLY HILLS BANK,

MY CAR IS WAITING TO TAKE YOU

AND YOUR FAMILY TO YOUR NEW HOME.

WE WANT YOU TO KNOW

HOW HAPPY WE ARE

TO HAVE YOU,

YOUR HANDSOME NEPHEW,

YOUR LOVELY DAUGHTER,

AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL MONEY...

MOTHER.

WAIT A MINUTE.

STOP THIS CAR.

MR. DRYSDALE,

YOU TRICKED US.

YOU JUST TOOK US OUT OF JAIL

SO YOU COULD BRING US BACK UP HERE TO PRISON.

HEAD FOR THE HILLS, EVERYBODY.

NO, WAIT.

COME BACK.

IT'S NOT A PRISON, IT'S YOUR HOME.

WAIT, COME BACK.

WAIT, MR. CLAMPETT.

LISTEN TO ME.

NOW, WAIT.

MR. CLAMPETT, LISTEN TO ME.

WAIT.

COME BACK.

WELL, I FINALLY ROUNDED THEM UP

AND CONVINCED THEM

THAT STONE WALLS

DO NOT A PRISON MAKE.

I SHALL NEVER FORGET THE PICTURE

OF THOSE HILLBILLIES

DRIVING UP TO THEIR NEW HOME.

WELCOME.

WELCOME.

HOWDY.

WELL, NOW, AIN'T THAT HANDY?

WHAT'S THAT, PA?

THE WAY THE ROAD TAKES A BEND IN HERE,

RUNS RIGHT BY THE FRONT DOOR.

NO, MR. CLAMPETT,

THIS IS YOUR DRIVEWAY,

IT GOES WITH THE HOUSE.

IS THIS THING A HOUSE?

OH, YES, INDEED.

IT WAS BUILT BY JOHN BARRYMORE,

ONE OF OUR FINEST ACTORS.

PRETTY FAIR STONE MASON, TOO.

HEY, JED!

YEAH, GRANNY!

THIS HERE IS DANDY SOIL.

WE CAN GROW A GOOD STAND OF CORN HERE.

FINE, GRANNY,

WE'LL COMMENCE PLOWING TOMORROW.

YOU CAN'T GROW CORN THERE.

NOW, DON'T YOU WORRY.

IF GRANNY SAYS IT'S GOOD SOIL,

IT'S GOOD SOIL.

AIN'T NOBODY CAN GROW CORN LIKE GRANNY.

BUT THIS IS BEVERLY HILLS.

DIRT IS DIRT.

I SUPPOSE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN FAIR WARNING

AS TO WHAT I COULD EXPECT.

AT FIRST, I MUST ADMIT

I WAS MOSTLY AMUSED

AT THEIR REACTIONS.

GOOD FOUNDATION.

WELL, JETHRO,

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR NEW HOUSE?

WELL, UNCLE JED,

THIS HERE'S THE BIGGEST BUNCH OF INDOORS

I EVER DID SEE.

IT'S A WHOPPER, ALL RIGHT.

GRANNY SAYS THERE'S ONE WHOLE ROOM

JUST FOR COOKING.

OH, UNCLE JED,

WAIT 'TIL YOU SEE THAT.

WHY IT'S GOT AN ICE BOX INIT,

BIG ENOUGH FORA WHOLE SIDE OF BEEF.

IS THAT A FACT?

YES, SIR.

AND GUESS WHAT

KEEPS THAT GREAT BIG THING COLD.

WHAT?

THREE OR FOUR LITTLE BITTY OL' PANS OF ICE

NO BIGGER THAN THAT.

ONLY THING IS

WHEN THAT ICE MELTS,

WHERE ARE WE GONNA GET MORE?

I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT

FOR THAT POND TO FREEZE OVER.

DOES THIS PLACE GOT A POND?

HAS IT GOT A POND?

UNCLE JED, IT'S THE FANCIEST THING

YOU EVER DID SEE.

ALL CEMENT.

HOW 'BOUT THAT, A CEMENT POND.

YES, SIR.

AND THEY HAVE STEPS

SO'S THE CATTLE CAN WALK

RIGHT DOWN INTO IT

AND GET A DRINK.

WELL, DOGGIES.

AND DOWN AT THE DEEP END,

THERE IS A BOARD

STICKING RIGHT OUT OVER THE WATER.

ONLY THING IS

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT'S FOR.

JETHRO,

HOW CAN YOU BE SO DUMB?

THAT THERE'S TO SET ON WHILE YOU FISH.

WHILE YOU FISH?

WHY, SURE, YEAH, WHILE YOU FISH.

AND THEN THERE WAS THE EVENING

I ARRANGED A DATE FOR ELLY MAY

WITH A YOUNG MAN FROM THE BANK.

I MUST ADMIT SHE WAS A VISION OF BEAUTY

IN THAT DRESS

MY SECRETARY PICKED OUT FOR HER.

OH, MISS CLAMPETT,

MAY I PRESENT BRAD JASON.

WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME DID YOU DO THAT?

THAT RASCAL WAS FIXIN' TO BITE ME.

AND THEN, OF COURSE,

THERE WAS THAT DREADFUL DAY

WHEN I WAS LEAVING

AND FOUND THE GATE LOCKED.

HELLO.

HELLO.

MR. CLAMPETT, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

YEAH, I CAN HEAR YOU.

GOOD, GOOD.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE INSIDE THE WALL.

I AM.

WOULD YOU LET ME OUT, PLEASE?

YOU BET I WILL.

YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.

I'LL GET ME AN AX

AND HAVE YOU OUT OF THERE IN NO TIME.

HE DEMOLISHED 30 FEET OF WALL

BEFORE I COULD STOP HIM.

BUT THE WORST THING THAT HAPPENED...

I'M SORRY, MR. DRYSDALE,

YOUR HOUR IS UP.

AH, THANK YOU DOCTOR.

NEXT WEEK, SAME TIME?

YES, I'LL EXPECT YOU.

I'LL BE HERE.