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Downloaded from YTS.MX
Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX
[eerie music]
[Frank] You know, I was told at an early age: "If you love what you're doing,
you never have to work a day in your life." That's kind of how I feel.
My name is Allie and I'm a recovering addict.
And, uhm...
I got sober when I was 18 years old.
My name is Frankie, uhm,
if you know South Florida, you'll probably find me
like beating on the doors of a trap house on South West 9th avenue.
You'll find me in some really fucking sketchy grimy areas.
Uh, just like, uh you'll find dope in those areas.
I am deeply imbedded with the Delray drug, heroin scene.
It's my job to be there.
It's my job to, uh, know what's going on being in dangerous places.
But...
I think I'm like a thrill person.
So I like-- I think it's fun,
but everyone is like always worried.
Like all my friends want me to get a new job.
[Frank] I'm a recovering addict.
I need to work on my recovery, but I also, uh,
it's very important to me to help other people.
I kind of have a process when I speak with
people that are looking to get help.
I got addicts coming and going from my car.
My phone never stops ringing.
I just try to let them know like: "Dude, you're not alone.
You're not like the first person that's ever gonna go through this. You're not the last.
And I feel you, I understand you. You're no less than anybody."
It doesn't stop for me. It's almost the same chaos as
living in active addiction without the drugs, you know.
Hm.
Like doing dope for a few years,
you know what I mean.
-Like three, four years, or? -Yeah.
-Yeah? -I used to be on methadone.
-When the pharmaceuticals were big, you know what I mean? -Yeah.
And now, now the blocks are flooded with heroin.
Cause motherfuckers are addicted to opiates.
-Have you lost a lot of friends out here? -Fuck, yeah.
-A lot, a lot. -Yeah.
Me being out here fucked up, I've been...
Motherfucker set me on fire.
You see all them scars. If I wasn't out here doing drugs,
that shit probably wouldn't happen.
-Yeah. -I sleep where I can
and in the meantime I shoot dope.
Yeah, out here you do drugs and shit like, you surround yourself
with bad shit, bad shit is gonna happen.
[phone ringing]
[phone continues ringing]
Dope boys' house. Jail. I doubt she's sleeping, it's kind of early to be sleeping.
So she's probably is getting high somewhere. I don't know.
She's probably getting high somewhere...
Somewhere. She could be anywhere.
Damn it.
She could be in any of these houses.
There's streets and streets
of houses and they're all selling heroin.
[ominous music]
[Frank] You've got a place to stay safe tonight?
[Conor] No, I stay on the street.
It's easy to get clean, but staying clean,
that's the motherfucker, dude.
You had 77 overdoses last month just in this little area.
What is it, a mile big, two miles?
AMT's ran out of NARCAN,
so if they do run an overdose call,
they don't have the supplies they need to revive them back to life.
Thought there was this one dude and he was coming out of the store.
And then two motherfuckers, they had it all premeditated and everything.
And they had gasoline in a fucking little Gatorade bottle
and I walked by, they said something to me, whatever.
I turned around: "What the fuck."
They fucking ran up on me and
the one kid like lit the torch or whatever and--
-Did they just like stay there or did they just run, man? -Yeah, they like threw--
Bro, yeah they said like-- when I was on fire, they were sitting there laughing.
[phone ringing]
[answering machine] Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system.
I have seen someone dead of an overdose, like done.
And this kid was just blue.
I've never seen nothing like it in my life.
Dude, I was so out of it like, I was in a coma for five weeks
trying to figure out what happened.
And you know you're going and what you're gonna do and what
the outcome will be, you know.
Like oh-- and you do it anyway.
Setting yourself up for straight destruction.
[strummed harp music]
[Frank] Sometimes I feel like I'm still in active addiction.
Driving through these areas that I used to do drugs in,
uhm, you know, seeing people I used to buy off of,
seeing houses I used to go to, abandoned buildings I used to sleep in, you know.
It's like that same rush is still there.
I'm chasing addicts today, but
I get that same like euphoric recall of what I used to feel.
You know, and sometimes I get it twisted, sometimes I'm like: "Damn, man.
I bet the shit is good over there right now."
It's common thoughts. It's shit that I think about every day.
I'm not fucking cured by any means.
I'm trying to get people in a better situation.
I'm trying to find people that are missing.
Pulling people off the streets.
Trying to offer hope to these people that have none.
Conor is an example of what we deal with on a daily basis.
[Frank] I could tell, you know, Conor is very skeptical of me.
Every addict, you know, their first impression of me is I'm just another scumbag
trying to make money.
How do you feel about 12 steps, man?
-[laughs] -You work the steps, man
and your life gets better. Might not be how you want to get
at the time you want it to get it, but, dude like it's got to be better than this, bro.
I mean look like, talk is cheap and shit, but like--
-Did you go into rehab, bro? -I don't-- What I'm saying, like I gotta be ready.
The only way you're not gonna go to rehab, is if you don't show up.
You know in Conor's instance, obviously the kid doesn't have any health insurance.
He doesn't have anything for me to benefit from.
If Conor-- If Conor had like United Health or Medical Mutual,
uh, or a Platinum Policy,
kids would literally be fighting over him
with baseball bats to try to help him.
You know what I mean? But now they don't see that. They just see,
you know, they just see a fucking
homeless bum on the side of the road.
I get people into treatment that have PPO policies.
I get people on the treatment that have HMO policies,
and I get people into treatment that have Medicaid policies.
The difference between me and Frankie and everybody else,
is that we go the extra mile for the people we're not getting paid off of.
I go the extra mile for the person that has no Medicaid, no nothing.
I know my resources, like by the back of my hand.
[Frank] You know, a Junkie Hunter is somebody that
has no regard for human life, in my eyes.
Uhm, they don't look at your loved ones as a sick or suffering addict with a disease.
They look at them as a pay check.
You know, everyone is a marketer, everyone is a Junkie Hunter.
If you're trying to get clients in treatment that have health insurance,
I mean that are currently using drugs,
that's what you are. Everyone's doing the same thing.
But how many people are going to the lengths to help people that have nothing?
[Allie] I need to find Kelly
because I'm nervous for whatever situation she might be in
and what she might do right now.
She's a female, she's crazy,
she's willing to do pretty much anything
she needs to do to get high.
And I haven't heard from her, so...
[phone ringing]
[phone ringing]
[Allie] I love playgrounds, I do. I love playgrounds. They're my favorite.
I remember when I was little, I would never go home.
I would just like,
play on the swing-set until it got really dark
and I would always wonder if my parents would look for me.
And they never did.
But I would always just go there and sit on the swings and hang out
even when I got older.
You get to like kind of be a kid.
Like when you never got to be a kid.
It's like you get to still pretend.
[laughs]
[sirens wailing]
[spokesman] H.R. 3590 as amended
the patient protection and Affordable Care Act is passed.
This traffic continues to increase
and flourish for one reason,
it is big business.
Profitable business.
Perversion for profit.
[background music]
[Allie] At the start of this, somebody somewhere realized
that they can make a lot of money.
And that's when the trouble came in.
And that's why there were such drug testing goldrush.
That's what started Delray.
An addicts' piss is like gold.
[Allie] Why? Because it's a medical necessity
technically because you need to know if your client is using or not.
[Allie] They over-test.
They should be testing when they have some sort of suspicion.
And instead they were testing like every other day.
They get 3,500 dollars for a piss test and they got rich.
And everyone after that has pretty much copied them.
It gets done every day, man. If there's a way to make money off of an addict,
there's people out there doing it.
There's people out there that really can't give a fuck less about your kids.
Hi, can I get the Bacon Cheeseburger Meal?
Awesome. There you go, bro.
-I appreciate what you're doing. -Cool, man.
Just go and try fucking-- just go and eat tonight.
Get you some you-time, man. Get your thoughts together.
So in I-- I guess me being me like I'm a little worried
like, damn are they really gonna be there?
You know, are you guys gonna be there to pick me up and bring me--
[Frank] Yo, I give you my word, bro.
-Like fuck the cameras and everything else. -Yeah, fuck that.
-I do this every day. -No matter even if I'm dope sick?
Even if you're dope sick, bro. You're going to a place that's gonna medicate you, you know.
-Oh shit. -Thank you.
Do me a favor.
-Oh shit. -Take that with you.
-I'm sorry. -It's all good.
Mm.
[kissing]
[upbeat music]
[Allie] I honestly think that this industry is like addicting.
I think I'm addicted to the thrill of saving people.
Most of the men make more money. I don't get paid that much,
Cause there's a Boys Club.
Duh.
You don't know about the Boys Club?
Where they all hang out and jerk each other off and give each other money.
And then when you're a girl and you go there
they're trying to fuck you and if you don't fuck them,
you don't get paid as much.
It's like this big thing that's been going on in America for like ever.
So...
Treatment Industry is no different.
[train horn blares]
[Allie] Part of my job is pretty much to just do outreach.
Right, so what is outreach?
I'm reaching out to the community.
Okay, and my job is to offer resources
to people that might not have the resources.
And you never know who's life you could change just by giving them a few numbers
or just finding out what their situation is.
[Allie] Hi.
Wanna join me for a second?
Yeah, I mean I knew how to
shoot dope before I knew how to ride a bike.
My mom, my dad where both fucked up.
Where do you sleep?
Uh, just a couple of spots,
you know, behind a building somewhere out of the way.
Sometimes if I have a date or something, he'll, you know, let me stay over.
How do you find these guys?
-What, for dates? -Mhm.
Walk over there and they pull over.
And then I get paid and I'll go and get my drugs and get high.
It doesn't matter what you do
in recovery, as long as you're willing to accept the consequences.
What makes you think that you're gonna be above
the statistics and be the percentage of people
that do make it and do do this thing?
-So what are you using? -Heroin and crack.
You know, man, that shit's tough.
-It is. -It takes a hold of you, man.
Yeah, it does.
I can get you into treatment today.
You don't have to worry about nothing.
-Will you go? -No.
I appreciate it, but no.
[laughing]
-Definitely not? -No.
-Bye. -I believe-- I truly believe that anyone can stay
clean and sober. I really truly believe that.
[Allie] I've seen Kenny before.
Him and his girlfriend lived down by the railway tracks by my office.
I lost all my friends. I lost everything I've had.
Right now I don't even know what to do.
Most people are reluctant to get in my car, but if they do and once they do,
you get to see a little bit of the world through their eyes.
So, I mean honestly like treatment is my last option right now.
-Yeah. -Cause I am gonna die.
And there is a chance that
you could turn your whole life around.
[Allie] How long have you been doing this for?
[Kenny] What, using? Or being homeless.
Just like all-- Like since it's become really shitty.
Uh, I've been homeless for seven months
down here in and out shooting dope
since I was 19, so it's almost eight years.
On pain pills since I was 12.
Have you been trying to get into a halfway anywhere?
Yeah, but we don't have insurance.
-Did you have insurance? -Yeah.
At one point you did. So you had insurance
-and you came down here for treatment. -Yeah.
-And then I turned 26-- -And they said: "Fuck you."
If you don't have insurance, no one gives the shit about you.
It's the way they make money.
So where are you guys staying now?
-Right down there. -On the tracks?
Yeah.
Sucks.
Is she still using?
I'm trying to help her get clean.
Do you want to get clean?
I'd rather die right now than go back to using like I was.
[music]
[Frank] Working with my mom is uh,
a blessing and a curse. We're both very headstrong.
We butt heads a lot.
But at the end of the day
we both know when to swallow our pride and get shit done
and work together.
We absolutely, here at Q-Health, believe that family involvement
is key to a successful recovery.
You know, it's a family disease. So it's so important
that they're included and know what to expect
when their child comes home, you know.
[Frank] I usually focus on talking to the addict. My mom focuses on
establishing relationships with uh, good treatment centers.
Going in and doing research, trouble shooting
deciding if we want to work with places or not.
We try to increase ones intrinsic motivation to overcome ones ambivalence
to choose if they want help or not.
And to me personally and professionally
it doesn't matter if it comes internally or externally.
To me them showing up is a place to start.
So Kat, you know, she's very motivated right now to get sober.
-Mhm. -Uhm, you can tell she's got a lot of fear.
I've known her for a long time.
She's one of my really good friend's sisters.
Two of my good friends that I used to live with
they reached out to me about Sarah's sister, Kat.
I know how much Sarah cares about her sister.
And I know that her sister was a great wife when she's sober.
[Frank] At this point we do have detox and a bed at Q-Health available.
So all the services that Kat is going to be receiving, will be up on the second floor.
Here we have our group rooms,
our individual council rooms.
Putting people in treatment is a very tedious process
if you're trying to do it the right way.
If you don't give a fuck, and you just want to collect a check on them,
then it's not much leg work.
I want to know that this place is gonna be a good fit.
I want to be able to tell somebody's mom or dad or husband or wife or kids,
that they're going somewhere safe.
-You guys are gonna drive safe. -Thank you, Ben.
[Lesha] Thanks.
My name is Nick Morgan I'm from Southern Illinois.
My name is Stephanie Clifton, I'm from Norwalk Ohio.
My name is Austin Johnston I'm from Fort Myers, Florida.
My name is Monica Foster.
My name is Seth, I'm from Bowling Green, Kentucky.
My name is Chris, last time I used was January 6th of 2014.
The last time I used was nine days ago.
So I got a little bit over 18 months clean.
The last time I used was 499 days ago.
By the grace of God I celebrate 18 months.
Last time I used was five days ago.
My breaking point, I actually went to a treatment here in Florida.
You know, I had nothing left in me, man. I looked at my arms, I had track marks.
I was on the phone with my family
pretty much manipulating, saying like:
"If you don't give me money, I'm gonna kill myself."
My heart stopped beating.
I had tubes breathing for me. I had machines hooked up to me.
All I could say to myself was: "God, why me?"
And then I had a moment when I said: "Why not me?"
What makes me any better than anybody else?
[sirens wails]
[Nicole] The heroin epidemic is affecting so many people.
To go there and see somebody laying on the ground,
you know, usually with blood and vomit.
Sometimes when they fell, they hit their head.
I'm most impacted when I see, uh, the pictures of the person that is laying on the ground,
and their child, uhm sitting on the dresser next to them.
It's not OK that these kids are gonna grow up without their parent.
[Nicole] My name is Nicole Lucas. I'm a detective for the Delray Beach Department
and I'm currently assigned to the Palm Beach County State Attorneys
Sober Homes Task Force.
[narrator] Gold, it lured man in an explosion of migration
from the ends of the earth with pick, pan, Long Tom and cradle.
Gold was the key that unlocked the storehouse of wealth.
It started with Sober Homes that were cash pay only.
They were just trying to maintain a sober environment.
[Nicole] And South Florida had more relaxed laws.
[Allie] Everybody is making money if they're doing it right.
At some point it morphed into this situation we have now
were there's so much money involved now with
insurance companies and insurance pay-outs.
And we can't just kick them out on the street.
So, what are we gonna do?
[sirens wailing]
[narrator] Most people think of Florida as a vacation land.
A lot of people consider South Florida the rehab capital of the world.
I beg to differ. I call it the relapse capital of the world.
[Nicole] We're experiencing a heroin epidemic.
None of us realized that we were gonna see
three, four, five, six, seven overdoses a day.
[sirens wailing]
[News Anchor] The Chief of Police believes the numbers of
addicts seeking treatment in Delray
attracts heroin dealers.
They're trying to get healthy, that's not working.
And then you get this other group who's playing on that group saying:
"Ok, they're here in my community
uh, and I'm gonna go and sell them drugs
because we know they want them."
To the dealers that are pushing this poison, I have a message for you,
we're coming for you.
We're not dealing with people choosing on a daily basis to kill themselves.
Once we start using and we're an addict,
all bets are off the table. That's what we do, it becomes our way of life.
It's a sickness, just like anything else.
No police officer or paramedic thought
they were getting in this field to handle this.
I said 380 something overdoses
for this year alone just in the city of Delray Beach
and we're only less than 15 square miles.
We've had multiple overdose deaths just in a day.
Like it's heartbreaking. You have to try to, like...
almost pretend that it's not real just to survive.
[Allie] Kenny want's help, but I don't think his girlfriend does.
[camera man] Is there any way that I could just move the camera over
-so we could see your face because-- -No.
[Allie] Do you think that going through treatment
could be successful?
Like how can you make treatment successful?
[Taby] I don't know. I mean it seems like treatment in itself
is just a bunch of repetitive shit that we already really know.
-Mhm. -Like you know, your trigger isn't good,
and how to stay away from people, places and things.
Like that's all they really teach you in treatment.
So you guys have been through the wringer together, huh?
-[Taby] Yeah. -[Kenny] Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
-Like Bonnie and Clyde? -[Taby] Kind of. [laughs]
-Went to county jail like about two months ago or something. -Yeah.
-[Kenny] Four months ago. -[Taby] Something like that.
I was in there for like three weeks.
I got clean, I wasn't sick.
I felt really good when I got out. And like I was so positive
and just like so set on: "I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do that."
And get out. He's high and shit.
He was like asking me to hit-- help hit him on, you know, with the rig.
Like: "No." Just, it was too much. I got high again within like a week.
It is all about the people, places and things, you know.
If you sit in a barber shop long enough, yeah, you're gonna get your hair cut eventually.
It's the same thing down here.
Tabatha is co-- is still getting high and Kenny has gone to detox.
But it's only been a few days apparently since he's been out.
So... It probably is not gonna last very long
if he's gonna be hanging around with Tabatha.
If she's tricking, she's making a few hundred dollars a day.
When you got money like that rolling in, it's hard to stop.
[Allie] In Delray tricking is like...
I mean obviously tricking means prostitution.
Regular prostitution is a girl jumps in your car
sucks your dick for 15 minutes and you give her like 20 bucks.
You know, this goes way beyond that.
In Delray tricking is more of
multiple men will fuck her, the same girl at the same time
in ways that would make a normal person want to kill themselves.
Just like I don't know how these girls honestly make it through a lot of this stuff.
Like it's sad.
It's really sad. They degrade them.
They stick other stuff up inside of them.
You know, it's not just like: "Oh I'm gonna bang you or you're gonna suck my dick."
It's like: "I'm gonna-- I'm gonna vandalize you. I'm gonna hurt you."
Tabatha's young, like pussy.
She's getting high and obviously you gonna be a lot more ruthless with her
than with a nice girl that you meet anywhere else.
She's not gonna tell anyone about your secrets.
She's not gonna tell anyone how disgusting you are.
She can't. She's disgusting herself, right?
[Allie] I want to help Tab and Ken. I really do.
[clinic rep] We can use anything as a substance of abuse including--
-Can you give them free cigarettes? -Uh, we don't.
Do they have to work here?
-Do they have to get a job, or what? -Yeah, absolutely.
-Is it... co-ed -It is not co-ed.
[car door shuts]
I'm talking to all my friends, all my connections.
I'm speaking with my friend Adam.
-He has Sober Living beds. -I mean I heard of the guy.
-Where was he at before? -He had insurance.
Okay, he turned 26, he lost it. No one would take him back.
He was in a couple of flop houses. One place beat him up.
I mean, I know this guy. You know what I mean?
And I know-- I know he doesn't want it.
-I know he doesn't-- -But he does.
-But what about-- -Maybe being homeless
for fucking seven months,
makes the kid want to get sober.
Why am I gonna jeopardize somebody's
life in here for somebody that I think
-is gonna come here to use you. -I don't want to do that.
To manipulate you to take home these "washer-dryer
get-a-good-clean-night's sleep and go out and get high again tomorrow.
-What if he doesn't? -What if-- I know the guy,
I met him before and my judgement says no. It's a Sober Home.
Adam, if you had zero tolerance, would you even be here right now?
-I mean, of course I would be here. -How many times did you relapse?
-How many times did you relapse? -I was shooting one time. I got sober.
I stayed sober.
[guitar music]
[Allie] I got in a lot of trouble when I was younger.
When I was 17, I got arrested for four separate trafficking charges.
I was trafficking Extasy and OxyContin.
I got arrested, went to jail, got home on house arrest and continued to get high.
And then luckily a bed opened up at the state-ran facility.
Kelly is a great friend of mine
and we actually got into treatment the same day.
She always promised me she was gonna take me to Las Vegas on my 21th birthday.
I'm 27 now, so...
She wasn't at the park. She's obviously not out east anywhere I could think of.
I lost four good, good, good friends this month.
This really isn't like Kelly not to answer, not to call,
not to text, not to find some-- She knows my number by heart.
So I don't know why she hasn't contacted me.
I'm not gonna let something bad happen to Kell.
[guitar music]
[Frank] I did my first shot of heroin at the age of 16.
At the time, you know when I was getting high, like the word junkie
was almost like-- It was kind of like a badge of honor for me
like, yeah I'm a junkie, like look at me, I'm wasting my life.
You know, I would just end up in the biggest city that I could find
and get lost there because nobody could find me.
Nobody could hold me accountable for what I was doing.
Actually I once had a day job at a place, dope sick.
And I was trying to, uh,
you know, just make my little 85 bucks so I could go and get high.
I was weak, I was feeble.
My job was basically to pull Roll Bars for fires off of a conveyor belt
after they went through scolding hot water, so they could be painted.
And I bumped into one, it fell, wrapped around my face.
I remember the smell of my own flesh just burning.
I called my drug dealer while I was in the hospital for that.
And he actually brought me some heroin.
And I went and shot it in the bathroom.
You would think, like shit like that happening
would like allow me to stop and be like:
"Yo, what the fuck is going on with my life?"
But no, I was right back to it.
[gate opener ringing]
[upbeat music]
[man on phone] Your couple off of Delray Beach, forget about them.
What do you mean? They ju--
I've been unsuccessful in getting somebody to help me out with
the Kenny and Tabatha situation.
-Ok, thanks, bye. -Alright, bye.
Fucking maniac, dickhead.
[Frank] You know I've known Allie and her boyfriend, Blair for a long time.
Her boyfriend actually saved my life at one point one time.
You know, we do anything that we can to help each other in this field.
[Allie] It's Tabatha and Kenny.
They have two couch cushions cut in half that they're sleeping on.
They keep getting robbed and beat up.
-He's from my hometown actually. -Yeah, that's what he says.
-He said that you helped them out. -Yeah, we brought them down
here like three years ago
and I gave them a place in Port St. Lucie.
And I said: "All you gotta do is call."
-They never called. -Yeah.
-And-- -I mean Frankie, trust me.
I deal with these kids all the time just like you do.
I know when they're ready to get help and when they're not.
-I mean they have been caught in this for a long fucking time. -I know.
A long time.
And now he hasn't had insurance in a long time.
-Right. -They look rough, man.
He's like a 108 pounds. So literally on the street where it's raining on them
they're getting beat up daily. Their kid got bit up.
She's like tricking, doing all that stuff.
I just-- you know what I mean, I got-- I feel-- I feel for them.
They're out there ripping people off, fucking doing shady ass shit.
-What were you doing when you were getting high? -I did too.
And when I got my ass beat, I deserved it.
-You know what I mean? -I agree.
They never-- they weren't like victims about it.
No fucking way, man.
I guess I'm the last sucker that's gonna try and help them out.
But...
Maybe-- Maybe it will work.
Maybe too many people gave up on them.
[music box]
[narrator] This is a factory.
This is a widget.
A widget You know is just a symbol for any manufactured product
that people use.
Most facilities take PPO's or cash.
In South Florida it's kind of morphed into this thing where
it's not as structured
because the facilities can't see what you're doing when you go home.
It's called the Florida Model, actually.
[Allie] It begins with detox.
Detox last about seven or ten days.
So they go to a facility that offers comfort meds and
nurses and doctors.
You get off your meds usually a day before you leave.
But it sucks because when you actually get off the medication,
your cravings come back.
So, that's when the real work for the addict begins.
And it's also where the real cash comes in at.
[narrator] Here comes a man now. And here comes another man who wants to buy a widget.
There's such a widespread demand for them.
Business is certainly good.
[Allie] You rent out an office
and you put like two therapists in there,
a Clinical Director and you have yourself a PHP program
which is partial hospitalization.
Insurance usually pays
1,500 dollars a day for a PHP.
[Frank] IOP is Intensive Outpatient.
It's a step down from partially hospitalization.
It usually requires about 12 hours a week.
[Nicole] Not all these people are bad.
The Recovery Industry is vital to the success
of the people suffering from the disease of addiction.
And there are amazing
therapists, treatment centers, Sober homes that genuinely care.
Some of them are even losing money.
They're in it to help people recover and get well.
[narrator] Evidently in this widget business
somebody is always buying and selling.
Everybody is somebody else's customer.
And that's all there is to it when everything runs as smoothly
as it does in this factory.
I've heard stories of people getting paid up to like 300 dollars a day
to keep somebody out of sober living.
[Nicole] I would like to embrace the Sober Homes as a community.
I want the neighbors to not be afraid
when a Sober Home is opening on their street.
I want to not be afraid of a Sober Home opening on my street.
[Frank] My definition of a flophouse is a place that
is posted online or is posted as a safe sober environment,
but they'll allow them to get high.
Uh, but once they do something that they don't like,
they'll just send them back to treatment.
How they profit is just by keeping, uh, the clients in a revolving door.
When you leave detox and you're sick already,
they get high without even thinking about it.
You don't have good staff there watching over them,
they're gonna go and use. And when they use, they go back to detox.
There's just a cycle that just keeps going around.
[narrator] So with everything humming along smoothly
and everyone working for somebody else,
money seem to travel around and around in this widget business.
Maybe that's true in other lines of business too.
Don't you think so?
[music]
[Frank] How long has it been since you last used?
Probably like six hours now.
-Six hours? -Yes.
[Frank] The sweat, the dilated pupils, Kat is dope Sick right now.
All your organs in your body are basically when you're using heroin, are pretty much
lying dormant. When you stop using, all that shit comes back to life.
You get your bowel movements back, which is no fun.
And then you throw a panic attack on top of that.
-Did you use a little bit before you got on the plane, or? -Yeah.
Yeah, how much?
Uh, a bundle.
-And then-- -Damn, dude. You've been going hard.
Mhm, I took some on the plane.
So when I got off, I did a little bit more.
How long have you been doing this?
Uh.
Think 15 years.
15 years, that's how long I ran.
Stop putting your family through this, man.
I know that this is the last chance I'm gonna have.
They're about done with me.
Now you can see it's eating them up every day and they're not sleeping,
wondering if I'm gonna wake up or they're gonna find me overdosed.
Are they giving you money or anything like that?
-No. -No?
-Not any more. -Yeah.
I want to make my sister proud and
I want my nephews back in my life again.
And I want to watch them grow up.
And I know I can never be in their lives if I'm continuously using.
You're gonna go into detox tonight
and then from there you'll be going to, uh, Q-Health.
What's up, guys?
Hey, buddy.
[Kat] Hi.
[sighs] How are you feeling?
[Kat] Pretty shit.
-Pretty shitty? -Yeah.
Yeah.
-Okay. -I just really want to make this work this time.
Good, I hope you do. I really do.
I'm so sick of feeling like this.
-I know. -[Frank] Look how hard Sarah and Josh
had to fight to get where they're at, you know.
Your sister is a fucking soccer mom now, dude.
I never thought that would happen in a million years.
[Frank] You can do this too, man. You've seen her fight for it.
-You know what you've got to do. -Yeah.
Mhm.
I want to be in their lives again.
And I want to be in your life again.
And...
They're my world.
I just so don't want to hurt you guys any more.
Kathleen, it's okay. It's okay.
It's gonna be so much better, so much better when you get out, okay?
You're gonna be an aunty.
You got these two kids to live for. Okay?
Not just us.
-I love you. -I love you.
I'm proud of you.
-We'll be in to see you. -Love you too.
Josh, I love you, man.
-[nephew] I love you. -Good luck.
-[laughing]. -Bye, guys. Bye, Baby Josh.
[upbeat music]
[Lesha] So many of them have burned bridges. They don't have any family.
-They, you know, are afraid to call home for Christmas. -Yeah.
Just give them some encouragement on that.
-Are you gonna incorporate the holidays in there at all? -Yes.
Yeah, okay.
And you're gonna go before me?
-Yeah. -Okay, alright.
[Frank] My mom, we got into this together.
This is a lady that, like watched me go through hell.
Like literally watched me try to kill myself.
I've stolen from this lady, I've broke into her house.
I sold crack out of her house.
When they say addiction is a family disease,
like I can see today how I affected my mom.
She spent endless nights calling jails, calling hospitals
like making sure I wasn't dead.
You know, and I would just like-- I would get a phone call
and just hit the fuck-you-button.
What are you gonna speak about tonight?
Uhm, I'd like to talk about not giving up on your loved one
that's in active addiction.
Okay.
And maybe tell a few Frankie stories.
-Cool? -Cool, I'll tell a couple of mom stories.
-Yeah. -[from stage] One, two...
[microphone feedback]
Why is there a spoon in your glovebox?
-Cause it was under my car. -Okay, well ju--
-I'm not-- you know Jessie found it and she's drug tested-- -I don't care.
Okay, well.
[Frank] My mom, she actually used to sell cars for Mercedes and manage dealerships.
So we have Fuck Heroin Foundation.
[cheering and clapping]
These are the guys that, like really put it together.
You know what I mean, behind the scenes.
[Frank] I couldn't stop shooting heroin.
She picked me up and we went over to like nine different hospitals
to try to find help.
[applause]
She got so pissed off
with people not knowing how to deal with this disease
that she quit her job like a couple of weeks later.
Hey, everybody. I'm Mama Dukes, Frankie's mom.
She went back to school, got a degree in chemical dependency.
I'm a therapist and an interventionist, although
90 percent of what I use is from the streets.
From being the crazy mom that followed her kid everywhere,
drug dealer by the throat through car windows.
Kicking in dope houses,
bringing him out by his head.
Uh, he'll tell you that
he could be in China in a bathroom getting ready to use,
and he'd say: "My mom is the crazy type that would have her head under the door
saying": "What the fuck are you doing?"
[Frank] My mom and I started the Fuck Heroin Foundation,
going into our fourth year.
A lot of speaking engagements.
♪ Pressures, sleeping On floors and benches ♪
♪ Every night I felt helpless, Restless, hopeless ♪
♪ Now I made a choice To be dopeless ♪
After seeing me go through addiction,
and getting into that field, even though
my mom never experienced what opiates feel like,
the level of pain that she's experienced
really qualifies her to do what she does.
You know, you're away from home right now
and you may have burned some bridges.
Don't let that get you down.
Move forward in life.
If you need help, you're meeting a whole lot of people
here today that have your back. We're your family.
-[applause]. -[Frank] Oh shit.
[Lesha] Come on up, Frankie.
[announcer] Frank, you better two-step all the way up her, bro.
[audience laughing]
[Lesha] My son's always got to take the long road around.
What's up, everybody? How are you all doing?
[clapping]
Thank you.
[cheering]
Guys, my name is Frankie and uh, I'm a grateful recovering addict. Uhm...
I'm a heroin addict, alcoholic, gambler, whatever you want to call it, man.
Like my disease tells me I need more.
More, more, more. Feed me, feed me, fuck you, fuck your life, what you need to do.
Feed me more. And for me, you know, Christmas used to be, well--
This aunt's gonna give me a gift card. I can sell that for 50 cent on the dollar.
And I know grandma over here is gonna send me like 20 bucks, you know.
And that is what my holiday consisted of.
What can I get so I can go out the next day or that night
and trade all my gifts and everything.
Uhm... You know, a lot of people wanna call this right now a heroin epidemic
you know, to me it's more of a plague.
This-- this-- this disease want's us dead.
Just because we live this way, just because this happens,
it doesn't mean that we're bad people, man.
There's a lot of people out here that are recovering
and have recovered.
[speech is muted]
[Frank] You know, here I am shooting a documentary with a camera crew.
I've taken people off the streets, getting them into rehab.
Living a lie.
Yeah, I relapsed.
I stopped doing what I needed to do.
You know, like: "Hey, I'll be right back. I'm gonna go and get some food."
Go and shoot a couple of bags of dope and come back, you know what I mean.
And, uh, you know, that's the whole thing about addiction, it's--
You learn to live a lie and get comfortable with that lie.
So, once I started lying to myself,
I forgot that I was an addict. And next thing you know, I had that fucking needle in my arm.
[dreamy music]
And if nobody told you that they love you, I love you, guys.
-Thank you. -[clapping]
[Frank] And I was like: "I can still do this, nobody knows what's going on."
I didn't think I had a problem because my drug dealer
told me that I was the only person he knew
that could keep my addiction under control.
It started with the pain pills down in South Florida.
Pretty much anything you can put in a needle, I use.
I used heroin.
My drug of choice is Crystal Meth.
I was shooting Blue Heroin.
Soon as I did it, I never wanted anything else.
I found myself completely numb. I felt like I was floating, man.
And no one knew what I was doing.
So from 15 to 17 years old, uhm,
being in ninth grade, walking the hallways of my high school.
I'm walking around dope sick like a zombie, and nobody knew what was going on with me.
[eerie music]
[Allie] When you know that no one else is looking for this person,
and no one else cares but you,
that's personal. With Kelly, obviously she's on a drug binge,
but I just don't know where.
[phone ringing]
[footsteps]
[Allie] The hardest part about being a woman and getting high
is just like that fear of what can happen to you.
Who's gonna-- How can they rape you? How can they hurt you?
Who might, or might not hurt you? You don't know. You never know
what situation you're gonna get yourself into every day.
So, and it's-- It's scary.
It's scary. That's why a lot of girls get high with their boyfriend.
And stay with them, but this girl doesn't have a boyfriend.
She's solo, so...
After you're done, robbed everybody,
pawned everything you got,
what else do you have left other than your body?
She's been beat up.
Kelly's been raped.
She was just trying to get high.
She was hanging out at some dope dealers house
and I believe it started out with like one--
One guy
she said she would do something with
and then like a whole bunch of them came in the room
and they all raped her.
[phone ringing]
She kind of like dusted it off.
And I think a lot of women do that.
When they use, they bury that pain.
And that is what addiction is.
You don't care about the consequences as much.
It's tough for the public to understand addiction.
They look at it as like:
"Are you fucking stupid, like why wouldn't you stop?"
I found a bed for Conor at Phoenix Resolutions up in Port St. Lucie.
I'm going out to look for him again.
You know, hopefully today, you know, he picks up the phone,
he calls and he's ready to fucking do this.
Cause this bed is not gonna fucking be there forever.
[Frank] I'm a junkie, you know what I mean. I know where we fucking hide out.
So I checked all those places.
So obviously my first thought is overdose.
[Frank] Conor is supposed to be calling me every day.
Maybe he doesn't want this. Willingness and desire for recovery comes in waves.
So that's why I need to find him today, you know, 'cause I don't know what state of mind he's in.
I'm running out of places to look for Conor.
I agreed I'm going to meet with Kenny and Tabatha.
I'd be lying if I said a part of me
just didn't want to hear what kind of story they got this time.
[train horn blares]
[coughing]
So should we sleep here tonight? We're not even here during the day
and it's just like, you know.
[Frank] Do you guys got a sleeping bag or anything, or just that blanket?
We got a blanket that we put over these couch cushions
-and cover up with this one and a cardboard underneath. -[Tab] These are two cushions.
[Frank] Where do you guys go when it rains?
That's what I ask.
-[Taby] Yeah, well... -[Kenny] All I think about
is where we're gonna get the next fix the next morning.
I wake up 15, 20 times at night.
Oh, shit what am I gonna have to do tomorrow to get high?
You know, we're-- We'll be sick and it's like seven o'clock in the morning.
I got to go walk the street and panhandle 20 dollars
just so we're not deathly sick, you know what I mean.
This is rock bottom, obviously, you know.
-It doesn't get any worse. -And we don't have our families
in our lives. We don't have friends,
we don't have shit. We have each other.
And fucking-- because all we give a shit about is dope right now.
We want out, yeah. Definitely, like, I'd kill for it right now.
-[Allie] How many places have you guys-- -[Frank] How many couples houses
have you guys been in so far?
-[Taby] At least four. -[Kenny] Five or six.
[Kenny] Probably four, five or six. Trying to reach out without insurance and shit, man.
You can't even get in nowhere. We just need someone right now
to be like: "Look, here you go, here is your opportunity.
Get the fuck in the car and go."
[laughs] And, like I'm there like.
Well, here is your opportunity.
-Yeah. -We're not gonna get in the car tonight.
[Allie] If you guys are gonna detox together
and you have the same bed, it's gonna be a flop
and you aren't gonna get better.
How many people do you guys see die out here?
-A lot. -A lot.
What makes you exempt
from that shit, do you know what I mean?
I've had the opportunity right now to go to a halfway house
and get a scholarship, but she didn't.
And I'm not gonna leave her out here on the street alone.
You know, and not know if she's safe or not.
-[Tab] So... -[sighs] Alright.
[Allie] I'm not trying to be mean, but I've been in the situation, it's fucking sad.
-[Taby] Mhm. -When you got to think about the person that you love
more than anything just gone
like that's probably
like the saddest thing ever.
[Taby] So I don't know if I can do this by myself.
I feel like I need a lot of support from you right now.
How has that been working for you so far?
I mean it hasn't really, but
-I'm scared to do it alone. -So what's gonna make it work now?
I don't know what the difference is gonna be.
I don't know how to do it alone. I don't even know if I want to do it at all.
[Frank] If I knew that my girl was out sucking dick,
fucking in the back of cars,
selling her fucking ass on Backpage.
That shame that, uh, you know, that questioning my own manhood.
As an addict, it's life. It is what it is, you know what I mean.
I can tell it's eating Kenny up on the inside
to know that they had to go through these experiences.
But at the end of the day I understand that.
He excepts that as a way of life.
You know, we tried for seven months reaching out,
it ain't one person fucking offered us anything yet.
This is the only opportunity we might have right now
to actually go and get the help we need.
So we might as well try and take it.
Hard to not be hopeless after this long of being out here.
Like I know it's both of ours fault, but you know,
one of us got to step up and we both got to step up
and actually go and do it this time.
And like I love you to death, and I do want to see you get better.
But I do need to take care of myself, just like you need to take care of yourself
and don't worry about me.
Worry about yourself right now.
It's hard not to worry about you.
-[Kenny] I love you. -[Taby] I love you too, baby.
[Allie] Looking at where they live, it makes me really grateful
to have everything that I have.
[car door shuts]
[Allie] My boyfriend's name is Blair.
-Why have I even received-- -I'm so glad I don't do what you do.
It's all, it's exhausting.
He doesn't cook or clean,
but that's okay. I still love him anyway.
Don't put that in there.
[Blair] Do you make food?
[Blair] Babe, I'm starving, seriously.
Blair, what do you want to eat?
[Allie] Blair is in recovery as well.
Blair got like almost ten years, nine years sober and he relapsed.
And he is embarrassed, but now he's sober.
And he's doing a good job.
And he gave me a whole other outlook on addiction
[kissing] and what the family goes through.
[narrator] You stand today in the midst of a selling revolution.
[Allie] Every industry has people that are gonna scam
it if the opportunity is there.
The easiest way to make money off a treatment client
is to be a marketer.
They do exactly what I do and get paid,
but they don't care about the client.
They don't care about the families.
We have an infamous case that, you know made national news.
This guy was literally like boarding the windows closed
in his Sober Living, tricking girls out.
You know, he would pick them up
you know, and have people get to know them.
Buy them some clothes you know, make them feel good about themselves.
You know, I'm talking about like real life fucking human trafficking.
Patient brokering is pretty much just sale of people.
So if one person owns the Treatment Center
and one person owns a Sober Home,
they come to an agreement where the Sober Home will refer the patients
to the Treatment Center and then get some type off, uhm,
benefit in exchange which is generally money.
Do I start selling right away?
Well, first you got to know your product.
[upbeat music]
[doorbell ringing]
They make a Facebook page,
as long as you can, like quote some Bible Verses...
We also have bad patient brokers, marketers...
Th-- those people are signing people offering insurance.
[Allie] Relapse was part of their Business Plan, essentially.
A Junkie Hunter, a Body Broker, whatever you want to call them--
You know, it's got a very bad rap because of people
that are out, you know, doing the wrong thing.
And when you call them, and you tell them: "Hey,
I've been homeless, I'm living outside,
I got raped last night.
I really, really, really need help."
And then the first question they ask you is:
"What kind of policy do you have?"
The first question I ask every single person that calls my phone is:
"Are you in a safe place?"
There are good marketers out there.
There are people that are in this for the right reason.
I think it comes down to what's your first question
when you're go to help somebody.
"What's your policy?"
Or: "Are you safe?"
[brushing teeth]
[Frank] You know, there's a lot Conor and I have in common.
When I see the scars on his face, knowing that he'd been burnt,
there was a reason why Conor was put in my life.
I know that hopelessness he's going through.
Grateful for a fucking cheeseburger.
I know that feeling.
[Frank] When I fly out of Detroit airport
to come down here to South Florida to get sober myself,
I shot up 12 bags of dope before getting on a plane.
Most people, normal people will be like: "What the fuck, dude
you're going to rehab. Why do you have to do this?"
As addicts, as junkies we have a sense of entitlement.
I'm never gonna feel this way again. I'm gonna get it in right now.
Just about everybody I take to rehab want's to get it in that one last time.
Right now I'm sure, you know, Conor is out absorbing every resource.
In his eyes, I'm never gonna see my best friend again.
[music]
Going up. Can you get me some comfortable things cause...
in a little while here, I'm not gonna feel well, probably.
So I want to be as comfortable as possible.
-[Kelly] Yeah, -[Allie] I'm in the closet.
I'm kind of like freaking out, this is like a whole change of--
You know, right now I feel okay. But I'm a little freaked out
that in a couple of hours I'm not gonna feel okay.
Better.
[whispering] I smell crap.
I need the shoes. Shoes, okay.
[Kelly] I was gonna ask her, should I bring laundry soap?
I wonder if I need laundry soap?
Kelly made my day. As soon as she got here, I got happier.
So, she's all I really care about right now.
[wheels squeaking]
She's so funny.
-You're actually my favorite person. -Give me a hug, Allie cat.
Thank you so much for everything.
I love you so much.
I appreciate it. I know you're stressed.
The plan was for us to-- for her to go to treatment
when she was supposed to the whole time I was looking for her.
And for her to get out, use her tax-return money
and get an apartment to get her kids back.
Well, what happened was
she went missing, and when she came to my door, she told me
that she had gotten her tax return money back
and she blew it all on dope and crack.
She's ready now to get help, so...
Her name is Kelly Anne Tucker.
I don't know, Kelly Anne, A-N-N-E or A-N-N.
[Kelly] I don't know what's on my license. Does it matter?
-[Allie] Her name is Kelly Tucker. -Kelly Tucker, yeah.
Now I'm making a million phone calls.
Why? 'Cause these other detox don't want to let me in because I--
The insurance? Is that what the issue is?
No, because you've been using so long.
-I think so. We just-- they just want to make sure. -Yeah, 'cause I told her
-like how well I've been doing. -They just don't want to take you
and then if you're a risk on them,
'cause they didn't detox you right.
She might have Benzos in her system, but it's not like a lot.
[Allie] No, I know. I know, I know.
-[Allie] Alright, I'll return you-- -[Kelly] Alright, that's clean.
[Kelly] I'm taking my paraphernalia out of my purse.
What is it?
Cap and some bags.
[Frank] What's up, man?
Alright, alright, bye.
Alright, so she got us this lady's number. I got to call her.
-What's wrong? -I have no money.
I hate my life.
At least you came [indistinct] fucking in the dirt on the side of the railway tracks
and you have a place to go.
Are they on drugs?
I had originally found Kelly a scholarship at a Treatment Center.
And by the time she finally fucking showed up, it had fallen through.
I told her that I'm prescribed for Oxycodone 30 mg a day
that I've been taking and then also [indistinct] like five bags a day
or whatever, so that's probably why.
I'm not only dealing with the life of my best friend.
I'm dealing with the fact that
she's gonna lose her two kids too.
So, I feel like that's all on my shoulders.
Yes, oh great. Cool.
Good, yay!
Awesome.
-Cool, sweet, perfect. -Ok, so what you're saying is they're gonna pick me up
-from this detox and bring me to this Treatment Center? -The Treatment Center.
-Cause it's-- they're nearby. -Oh, okay.
-Can I smoke cigarettes? -Mhm.
-Okay. -I'll double-check, but yeah.
Look at me, all I care about is cigarettes.
I locked the doors, here's the keys to my car.
It's parked over by the tree if you have to move it.
The gas lights are on, but you'll make it to the ga-- I was gonna stop and get gas,
'cause I didn't want to be late. So, but you'll make it to the gas station.
[Kelly] I'm sweaty. [laughs]
[sirens in the distance]
[Conor] If fucking people see me out here,
like, dude, they're gonna be bugging out.
-Bro-- -Last time I saw you, you were never coming back.
Yeah, I know, but like
as long as I get somewhere where I can just be safe
and get right, you know what I mean?
-Yeah. -That's all I worry about.
Like I'm gonna get out of detox and there's gonna be nobody there.
-You know what I mean? -No, though you'll--
When you get out of detox, they'll already be there.
You know what I mean? Like they'll make arrangements
with the Treatment Center to come and get you.
Do you got any clothes or anything
you got to take with you, bro?
[coughs]
[organ music playing]
I remember when you were pregnant in the Treatment Center.
I remember when we first met, we were sitting there.
They didn't have a bed for us, remember that?
-Yeah. -And they put us in a room that was like a closet.
-[laughing]. -Remember that? My life.
I used to have to come and wake you up every morning.
-And they separated us. -Yeah.
We were not roommates any more.
[laughing]
[Allie] Where are the kids? Are they happy?
Well, I mean. Visitation sucks.
Just because it's like in just like a cube,
like in this room. You know what I mean.
You got this stupid lady that sits there.
I just told them that, you know,
I get to see them on Christmas. But...
Mommy is gonna get better.
[Allie] Kelly is a 100 percent gonna lose her kids
if she doesn't go and stay in treatment.
[Allie] And I think if she doesn't do the right thing,
then the kids should be put up for adoption.
No children should have to live like that.
How do you stay clean, cause it seems to me that I can't do it.
I do what you don't do.
[laughing] I know that.
-I don't know. Just go to-- -Do you go to meeting still?
-Yeah. -You do?
The main thing of it, which you never finished, and I did.
-Is steps. -Yes.
I know.
You got to work the steps, man
and you got to help other people.
When I get off work, like-- Well, like you worked all day,
like you're stressed, like you know, I don't know.
So that's like-- That's my downfall.
It's definitely when I get off work.
Do you want to know what's pretty cheap?
It's cheaper than a Roxy.
And it's about an hour long of relaxation.
And go and get your feet rubbed
-at one of these feet-rubbing places. -Yes!
That's nice.
[music]
So, just-- just try working the steps, bro.
Just give it a try, you know what I mean, like--
It works, man. I didn't--
I didn't want to work them, but I did and
-it helped me a lot, man. -Yeah.
But every time I try to do shit my way, I get fucked up.
Well, yeah that's like I was saying to you before I got--
So I learn-- doing it my way
it ends up fucking really bad, you know.
I cannot live a normal life and do drugs.
I'm sorry too, like no disrespect.
-[Frank] What? -[Conor] I got high in front of you.
-[Frank] Bro, I see it every day, man. -I know, I just--
I think it's disrespectful, you know what I mean.
In front of someone that's sober and shit.
[music]
Please look me in my eyes.
Take your glasses off.
-Tell me you're gonna make it. -I'm gonna make it.
-You gonna do good? -I'm gonna do good.
Are you gonna get your kids back?
I'm gonna get my kids back.
Are you gonna hang out with me
and have fun?
Yeah, you're gonna help me.
Alright, I love you, Kelly.
[Allie] Kelly, you can do this.
I believe in you, and I love you.
And when you're sober, you're awesome.
-[Allie] It's gonna be fun. Fun. -Okay I don't know about fun, but okay.
I'll be there when you get home.
And I hope that you give
yourself the opportunity
to live the best life you could live.
And I hope that you finally take me to Las Vegas.
[Allie] I'm tired, I'm over it, I've been dealing with this 24-7.
Your friends die, and your friends relapse and your co-workers relapse.
And just being surrounded by
addiction 24-7 is exhausting, pretty much is the point.
[Frank] You eat, you eat good too here, bro.
-I got to... [mumbling] -They got like a fucking ice cream machine and shit.
-[laughing] -Seriously, there's times that I drop
people off at places like this,
-and I want to stay. -[laughing] Yeah, right.
[Frank] I've got to get my girl and my almost
-you know, three year old daughter... -Yeah.
Two dogs and a cat, bro.
Sometimes rehab sounds real fucking plush, bro.
[laughing]
-[Lesha] Hey, Conor. -What's up?
-Really proud of you, man. -I appreciate that.
-How do you feel? -I'm good, I'm alright.
-I'm happy. -A little bit nervous?
Of course.
I'm nervous, but I'm
just so glad I have an opportunity.
No, I really appreciate it,
and I'm gonna try to take full advantage.
-You know what I mean? -You need to, man.
-Yeah. -[Lesha] Start another life.
Get back on your feet.
It'll get better every day, we'll be here when you get out.
-Awesome. -If you need stuff, let us know.
Yeah, if you need more clothes, like socks, underwear,
just let me know, and I'll bring them to you.
Take advantage of the ice cream machine.
-You'll be up in there playing cards and stuff in no time. -Yeah.
[Frank] After the two days of chaos,
I finally get a peace of mind because I see Conor smile.
-Alright. -Good luck.
-Thank you so much. -Good luck, good luck.
[Conor] I appreciate it.
[Frank] I've seen that look of despair,
that desperation inside of him, that pain
turn into a spark of hope.
-[Lesha] You got this, your new life starts right now. -Yeah.
I appreciate it.
[Frank] I could see that he did want this and,
you know, it reminded me, you know... That's what live for.
It's to see that light come on in an addicts eyes.
My name is Conor Geary, I'm a heroin addict.
I used just a little bit ago.
I'm here basically to get my life right.
You know what I mean? Get off dope, do the right thing.
Live a good life.
I don't want to die out here, you know.
[siren in the distance]
My whole life consist of people getting high, people dying,
people being your friend and then not being there the next day.
Friends getting their kids taken away.
Like it's old, it's old.
Yeah, I'm done. I'm, like over it.
[camera man] What?
Because it's like sad.
It's sad trying to, like help these kids,
and like not being able to help them.
And like I just want to be able to do it.
Yeah, I am helping them, but I can only help so many people.
It's like what about the look on their face when you can't help them.
It's like not enough resources and like I can't take it
all on my shoulders.
But when they're always reaching out to you for help,
it's like so overwhelming.
And like, I've been doing it for six years now
and I can't take anymore. I just want like a regular job
'cause it's not healthy for me. I'm in recovery too.
I'm just like not happy.
You know, I'm like tired.
[music]
[Allie] I feel like putting myself in this world
helps me be grateful for my sobriety.
[piano music]
[Allie] I could a 100 percent relapse.
It's like literally like a day at the time.
A lot of people forget what it's like when they're using.
They forget what they did, they forget how they acted,
they forget how they treated people that they loved.
I feel like...
I do have that opportunity
of seeing myself through these people
who I at least used to be,
and could be any day.
[waves breaking]
May I ask you all to stand, please.
Lord, we look to thee now for strength
and comfort in our sorrow.
Help us in this hour to put our trust in you
that we may receive light and understanding
and a new experience of your grace
on to eternal hope through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
♪ Amazing Grace
♪ How sweet the sound
♪ That saved
♪ A wretch like me
♪ I once was lost
♪ But now am found
[Allie] Well, I'm about to call the cops.
Because...
Are you sure though?
'Cause your brother's told me that you're not.
He's telling me something bad is gonna happen. You're gonna die.
[indistinct on phone]
I don't know. I don't know what happened in your conversation, at all.
Okay, are you able to make it to the detox?
[indistinct on the phone]
That's fine. When do you think you're going to be there?
Are you still trying to get high?
Blair, my boyfriend relapsed.
And he's been like missing for like two days.
So I got him a scholarship for detox, but...
So I'm just trying to get him to go there and show up.
Then I'm over it. I don't care.
I helped him out. I got him a scholarship for the fucking 100th time.
Which I don't need to do. He's supposed to be there Thursday,
Friday, yesterday, last night, this morning. He's still not there.
He's at some public parking lot getting high, where he slept.
So it's probably time for me to move out.
Move on.
That is just sad. I feel bad for him
'cause I know he's struggling.
But...
You got to think like: "Are you willing to die
for someone else to live?"
No, you know.
So...
I'm not at least.
And it's scary to leave,
but someone told me it's like the hermit crab, when he leaves his shell.
The hermit crab is like terrified.
And he's like: "Oh my god, what did I do? I left my home
and I can't go back in
and I'm in this big ocean
and I'm stuck here
and I'm gonna die, it's gonna be awful.
And then as he thinks everything is gonna be okay,
and he calms himself down from his panic attack
he finds a shell, another one
that he fits in. And he thinks: "What would happen if I never left my old shell?"
[eerie music]
We're here today
to remember the life of Conor James Geary.
Conor was one that tried
his best to fight the good fight.
[sister] He just had a very sweet demeanor.
I miss him. [cries]
[sniffles]
He was doing so good.
He was just learning to live.
[sniffles]
And I just pray that God has welcomed him
With open arms.
[sighs]
[priest] Thank you.
[priest] Would anyone like to say anything before we say goodbye to Conor?
[Logan] I, uhm-- I was with Conor
the last probably four, five months
at the place that he was at, uhm...
And he was happy those four or five months.
Uhm, he picked me up a couple of times
when I was feeling down just with his sarcasm.
This is really unfortunate,
but I did get to see him grow in those five months.
Uhm, I didn't know him prior to that.
But I saw him when he walked in those doors
and saw how broken he was and then I saw the man
that he became over those five months.
[priest] Okay, guys we're gonna move inside.
So just uh... We can leave the chairs,
just head on in and--
Did you get one of these?
Here.
-Thank you for coming. -Thank you.
Did I talk to you on Facebook, kind of? Yeah.
-That was you? -Yeah.
I'm glad you got to know Conor.
Yeah, this song is called "In our dreams".
It was one of his favorites whenever he was down
he wanted me to play him music.
This is the one that he liked.
♪ Another lullaby
♪ To sing to an angel high
♪ Too close to home this time
♪ I lost another Friend of mine ♪
♪ Too young to take a life
♪ We'll miss those loving eyes
♪ We think of him that night
♪ We see him smiling bright
♪ I heard that You weren't clean ♪
♪ So I ignored all your screams ♪
♪ Only cared if I got free
♪ As selfish as [indistinct]
♪ When they said He'd gone to sleep ♪
♪ Pray the Lord He's soul took him ♪
♪ Don't cry, brother Please don't weep ♪
♪ He'll still live on In our dreams ♪
♪ He'll still live on In our dreams ♪
[sister] Conor called me on Friday and he said that, uhm...
that they were telling everybody that they had to leave
because they weren't quote, unquote:
"They weren't making enough money."
The owner didn't even say it, he had somebody else say it.
Like he was there, but he wouldn't even tell us himself.
They pretty much said like: "Yeah, we're closing down,
and you need to be out by the end of the day."
And you could see it like when they walked out,
nobody wanted to go anywhere.
It's like we were all doing okay.
It just could have been avoided.
[Logan] It should have been.
[Conor] I'm here basically to get my life right.
You know what I mean, get off dope.
Do the right thing, live a good life.
I don't want to die out here.
I'm getting clean for myself.
First off, myself. You know what I mean.
The way I'm living is not cool.
I'm better than that, you know.
[Lesha] Six month ago, we had the honor of meeting Conor.
He went to The Haven Detox.
Got through that very successfully, went on to treatment.
He was sober almost six months.
Unfortunately in this business,
a lot of it has to do with financials.
And the Treatment Center he was in decided to drop
these two young men off at a hotel.
They must have got whatever they were getting immediately
and most likely were deceased since Friday.
You know, Conor...
I know how much you wanted to change your life, and, uh...
I really wish you were here to be able to do that.
And that you were out here standing with me
talking about something totally different.
We love you, sweetheart. No more pain.
You're with your mom and dad. May you rest in heaven, sweetie.
When Frankie relapsed,
I uhm...
I can't tell you how incredibly proud I was.
What he doesn't understand, just him saying and admitting that
is the hugest relief, because then I know
we can start the uphill battle again, as opposed to watching him spiral down.
[guitar music]
[Allie] I see Kenny, I never really see Taby that much anymore.
-If I do, she's like-- -[Frank] She's not in jail, is she?
No, I see her walking the streets.
I just don't think they're like getting along
very well right now.
How are you doing, Frankie? Are you doing okay?
I have like four months back.
-Really? -I feel really good, yeah.
[Allie] Are you doing anything different this time?
Yeah, I'm just trying not to make this my, uh, my program.
-You know what I mean, like-- -Yeah.
Cause it's fucking-- It got bad quick,
-like real quick last time. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-Real, real quick. -Fuck that.
-How is your little girl? -She's good. I was hoping to see her this time,
but, uhm, I had some flight problems and stuff.
-So I'm gonna come and see her in a couple of weeks. -Cool.
-She's getting big, though. -Really?
-Yes, it sucks not to like, you know, having her.
-Yeah. -All the time and being in Ohio, but...
-It's for the best. -Yeah.
She loves our little hour or two
that we get to spend together, man, it's--
Like, yeah.
-I definitely miss her, though. -I bet. I'm sorry.
You've got a lot of acceptance, Frankie.
-Yeah, -You're doing good.
Thank you.
[Allie] I know that Frankie doesn't have
like a ton of time sober.
And I pray for him, you know, every night like I do all my friends.
Frankie, no matter what, you can do it.
No matter all of the struggles and no matter what anybody says,
you got this.
And even if you don't got this one day,
I'll always be there for you.
[phone ringing]
[Kelly] Hi, Allie cat.
Hi, Kell What are you doing?
The last time I spoke with Kelly was, I got her a lift
back to West Palm from here
'cause she was about to get arrested for prostitution.
[Kelly] But now the next court deal was supposed to be until August,
but because I haven't done anything, and I've not complied. I haven't done anything.
Every time I think about this shit, I kick my fucking self in the ass.
If I would have just stayed where you put me,
I would've been done with all the shit, had my kids back.
Anyway I'm doing like 30 days. And now here it is-- It just pisses me off. I'm so stupid.
You're an idiot for screwing up the first scholarship that you got.
And I wish that you wouldn't have done that
'cause this would have all been done already
and you wouldn't be struggling to figure it out, but...
It'll get sorted.
It's all gonna be okay.
Well, I stay optimistic because I've seen
people like Kelly get it.
I've seen them figure it out. I've seen them get better.
I do-- I mean, I believe in most people.
That's why I do what I do.
[music]
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