All language subtitles for American.Relapse.2018.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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[eerie music]

[Frank] You know, I was told
at an early age:
"If you love what you're doing,

you never have to work
a day in your life."
That's kind of how I feel.

My name is Allie and
I'm a recovering addict.

And, uhm...

I got sober
when I was 18 years old.

My name is Frankie, uhm,

if you know South Florida,
you'll probably find me

like beating on
the doors of a trap house
on South West 9th avenue.

You'll find me in some really
fucking sketchy grimy areas.

Uh, just like, uh you'll
find dope in those areas.

I am deeply imbedded with
the Delray drug, heroin scene.

It's my job to be there.

It's my job to, uh,
know what's going on
being in dangerous places.

But...

I think I'm like
a thrill person.

So I like-- I think it's fun,

but everyone is
like always worried.

Like all my friends
want me to get a new job.

[Frank] I'm a recovering addict.

I need to work on my recovery,
but I also, uh,

it's very important to me
to help other people.

I kind of have
a process when I speak with

people that
are looking to get help.

I got addicts coming
and going from my car.

My phone never stops ringing.

I just try to let them know
like: "Dude, you're not alone.

You're not like the first person
that's ever gonna go through
this. You're not the last.

And I feel you,
I understand you.
You're no less than anybody."

It doesn't stop for me.
It's almost the same chaos as

living in active addiction
without the drugs, you know.

Hm.

Like doing dope for a few years,

you know what I mean.

-Like three, four years, or?
-Yeah.

-Yeah?
-I used to be on methadone.

-When the pharmaceuticals were
big, you know what I mean?
-Yeah.

And now, now the blocks
are flooded with heroin.

Cause motherfuckers
are addicted to opiates.

-Have you lost
a lot of friends out here?
-Fuck, yeah.

-A lot, a lot.
-Yeah.

Me being out here
fucked up, I've been...

Motherfucker set me on fire.

You see all them scars. If I
wasn't out here doing drugs,

that shit
probably wouldn't happen.

-Yeah.
-I sleep where I can

and in the meantime
I shoot dope.

Yeah, out here
you do drugs and shit like,
you surround yourself

with bad shit,
bad shit is gonna happen.

[phone ringing]

[phone continues ringing]

Dope boys' house. Jail.
I doubt she's sleeping, it's
kind of early to be sleeping.

So she's probably is getting
high somewhere. I don't know.

She's probably getting
high somewhere...

Somewhere.
She could be anywhere.

Damn it.

She could be in
any of these houses.

There's streets and streets

of houses and they're all
selling heroin.

[ominous music]

[Frank] You've got a place
to stay safe tonight?

[Conor]
No, I stay on the street.

It's easy to get clean,
but staying clean,

that's the motherfucker, dude.

You had 77 overdoses last month
just in this little area.

What is it,
a mile big, two miles?

AMT's ran out of NARCAN,

so if they do run
an overdose call,

they don't
have the supplies they need
to revive them back to life.

Thought there was this
one dude and he was
coming out of the store.

And then two motherfuckers,
they had it all
premeditated and everything.

And they had gasoline in a
fucking little Gatorade bottle

and I walked by, they said
something to me, whatever.

I turned around:
"What the fuck."

They fucking ran up on me and

the one kid like lit the torch
or whatever and--

-Did they just like stay there
or did they just run, man?
-Yeah, they like threw--

Bro, yeah they said like--
when I was on fire, they were
sitting there laughing.

[phone ringing]

[answering machine] Your call
has been forwarded to an
automatic voice message system.

I have seen someone dead
of an overdose, like done.

And this kid was just blue.

I've never seen
nothing like it in my life.

Dude, I was so out of it like,
I was in a coma for five weeks

trying to figure out
what happened.

And you know
you're going and what
you're gonna do and what

the outcome will be, you know.

Like oh-- and you do it anyway.

Setting yourself up
for straight destruction.

[strummed harp music]

[Frank] Sometimes I feel like
I'm still in active addiction.

Driving through these areas
that I used to do drugs in,

uhm, you know, seeing
people I used to buy off of,

seeing houses I used to go to,
abandoned buildings
I used to sleep in, you know.

It's like that same rush
is still there.

I'm chasing addicts today, but

I get that same like euphoric
recall of what I used to feel.

You know, and sometimes
I get it twisted, sometimes
I'm like: "Damn, man.

I bet the shit
is good over there right now."

It's common thoughts.
It's shit that
I think about every day.

I'm not fucking cured
by any means.

I'm trying to get people
in a better situation.

I'm trying to find
people that are missing.

Pulling people off the streets.

Trying to offer hope
to these people that have none.

Conor is an example of what
we deal with on a daily basis.

[Frank] I could tell, you know,
Conor is very skeptical of me.

Every addict, you know,
their first impression of me is
I'm just another scumbag

trying to make money.

How do you feel
about 12 steps, man?

-[laughs]
-You work the steps, man

and your life gets better.
Might not be how you want to get

at the time you want it to
get it, but, dude like it's
got to be better than this, bro.

I mean look like, talk is
cheap and shit, but like--

-Did you go into rehab, bro?
-I don't-- What I'm saying,
like I gotta be ready.

The only way
you're not gonna go to rehab,
is if you don't show up.

You know in Conor's instance,
obviously the kid doesn't have
any health insurance.

He doesn't have
anything for me to benefit from.

If Conor--
If Conor had like
United Health or Medical Mutual,

uh, or a Platinum Policy,

kids would literally
be fighting over him

with baseball bats
to try to help him.

You know what I mean?
But now they don't see that.
They just see,

you know,
they just see a fucking

homeless bum
on the side of the road.

I get people into treatment
that have PPO policies.

I get people on the treatment
that have HMO policies,

and I get
people into treatment
that have Medicaid policies.

The difference between me
and Frankie and everybody else,

is that we go the extra mile
for the people we're
not getting paid off of.

I go the extra mile
for the person that
has no Medicaid, no nothing.

I know my resources,
like by the back of my hand.

[Frank] You know, a Junkie
Hunter is somebody that

has no regard
for human life, in my eyes.

Uhm, they don't look at
your loved ones as a sick or
suffering addict with a disease.

They look at them
as a pay check.

You know,
everyone is a marketer,
everyone is a Junkie Hunter.

If you're trying
to get clients in treatment
that have health insurance,

I mean that
are currently using drugs,

that's what you are. Everyone's
doing the same thing.

But how many people
are going to the lengths to
help people that have nothing?

[Allie] I need to find Kelly

because I'm nervous for whatever
situation she might be in

and what she might do right now.

She's a female, she's crazy,

she's willing
to do pretty much anything

she needs to do to get high.

And I haven't
heard from her, so...

[phone ringing]

[phone ringing]

[Allie] I love playgrounds,
I do. I love playgrounds.
They're my favorite.

I remember when I was little,
I would never go home.

I would just like,

play on the swing-set
until it got really dark

and I would always wonder if
my parents would look for me.

And they never did.

But I would always
just go there and
sit on the swings and hang out

even when I got older.

You get to like
kind of be a kid.

Like when you never
got to be a kid.

It's like you get
to still pretend.

[laughs]

[sirens wailing]

[spokesman] H.R. 3590 as amended

the patient protection and
Affordable Care Act is passed.

This traffic
continues to increase

and flourish for one reason,

it is big business.

Profitable business.

Perversion for profit.

[background music]

[Allie] At the start of this,
somebody somewhere realized

that they can
make a lot of money.

And that's when
the trouble came in.

And that's why there were
such drug testing goldrush.

That's what started Delray.

An addicts' piss is like gold.

[Allie] Why?
Because it's a medical necessity

technically
because you need to know
if your client is using or not.

[Allie] They over-test.

They should be testing when they
have some sort of suspicion.

And instead they were testing
like every other day.

They get 3,500 dollars for
a piss test and they got rich.

And everyone after that
has pretty much copied them.

It gets done every day, man.
If there's a way to
make money off of an addict,

there's people
out there doing it.

There's people out there
that really can't give
a fuck less about your kids.

Hi, can I get
the Bacon Cheeseburger Meal?

Awesome. There you go, bro.

-I appreciate what you're doing.
-Cool, man.

Just go and try fucking--
just go and eat tonight.

Get you some you-time, man.
Get your thoughts together.

So in I-- I guess me being me
like I'm a little worried

like, damn are they
really gonna be there?

You know,
are you guys gonna be there
to pick me up and bring me--

[Frank]
Yo, I give you my word, bro.

-Like fuck the cameras
and everything else.
-Yeah, fuck that.

-I do this every day.
-No matter even if
I'm dope sick?

Even if you're dope sick, bro.
You're going to a place that's
gonna medicate you, you know.

-Oh shit.
-Thank you.

Do me a favor.

-Oh shit.
-Take that with you.

-I'm sorry.
-It's all good.

Mm.

[kissing]

[upbeat music]

[Allie]
I honestly think that this
industry is like addicting.

I think I'm addicted to
the thrill of saving people.

Most of the men make more money.
I don't get paid that much,

Cause there's a Boys Club.

Duh.

You don't know
about the Boys Club?

Where they all hang out
and jerk each other off
and give each other money.

And then when you're
a girl and you go there

they're trying to fuck you
and if you don't fuck them,

you don't get paid as much.

It's like
this big thing that's been going
on in America for like ever.

So...

Treatment Industry
is no different.

[train horn blares]

[Allie] Part of my job is pretty
much to just do outreach.

Right, so what is outreach?

I'm reaching out
to the community.

Okay, and my job
is to offer resources

to people that might
not have the resources.

And you never know
who's life you could change just
by giving them a few numbers

or just finding out
what their situation is.

[Allie] Hi.

Wanna join me for a second?

Yeah, I mean I knew how to

shoot dope before
I knew how to ride a bike.

My mom, my dad
where both fucked up.

Where do you sleep?

Uh, just a couple of spots,

you know, behind a building
somewhere out of the way.

Sometimes if I have a date
or something, he'll, you know,
let me stay over.

How do you find these guys?

-What, for dates?
-Mhm.

Walk over there
and they pull over.

And then I get paid and I'll go
and get my drugs and get high.

It doesn't matter what you do

in recovery,
as long as you're willing
to accept the consequences.

What makes you think
that you're gonna be above

the statistics and be
the percentage of people

that do make it and do
do this thing?

-So what are you using?
-Heroin and crack.

You know, man,
that shit's tough.

-It is.
-It takes a hold of you, man.

Yeah, it does.

I can get you
into treatment today.

You don't have
to worry about nothing.

-Will you go?
-No.

I appreciate it, but no.

[laughing]

-Definitely not?
-No.

-Bye.
-I believe-- I truly believe
that anyone can stay

clean and sober.
I really truly believe that.

[Allie] I've seen Kenny before.

Him and his girlfriend
lived down by the
railway tracks by my office.

I lost all my friends.
I lost everything I've had.

Right now
I don't even know what to do.

Most people are reluctant
to get in my car, but if
they do and once they do,

you get to see a little bit of
the world through their eyes.

So, I mean honestly
like treatment
is my last option right now.

-Yeah.
-Cause I am gonna die.

And there is a chance that

you could
turn your whole life around.

[Allie] How long
have you been doing this for?

[Kenny] What, using?
Or being homeless.

Just like all-- Like since
it's become really shitty.

Uh, I've been
homeless for seven months

down here
in and out shooting dope

since I was 19,
so it's almost eight years.

On pain pills since I was 12.

Have you been trying to get
into a halfway anywhere?

Yeah, but we don't
have insurance.

-Did you have insurance?
-Yeah.

At one point you did.
So you had insurance

-and you came down here
for treatment.
-Yeah.

-And then I turned 26--
-And they said: "Fuck you."

If you don't have insurance,
no one gives the shit about you.

It's the way they make money.

So where
are you guys staying now?

-Right down there.
-On the tracks?

Yeah.

Sucks.

Is she still using?

I'm trying
to help her get clean.

Do you want to get clean?

I'd rather die right now than
go back to using like I was.

[music]

[Frank]
Working with my mom is uh,

a blessing and a curse.
We're both very headstrong.

We butt heads a lot.

But at the end of the day

we both know when to swallow
our pride and get shit done

and work together.

We absolutely, here at Q-Health,
believe that family involvement

is key to a successful recovery.

You know, it's a family disease.
So it's so important

that they're included
and know what to expect

when their child
comes home, you know.

[Frank]
I usually focus on talking
to the addict. My mom focuses on

establishing relationships
with uh, good treatment centers.

Going in and doing research,
trouble shooting

deciding if we want
to work with places or not.

We try to increase
ones intrinsic motivation to
overcome ones ambivalence

to choose if they
want help or not.

And to me personally
and professionally

it doesn't matter if it
comes internally or externally.

To me them showing up
is a place to start.

So Kat, you know,
she's very motivated
right now to get sober.

-Mhm.
-Uhm, you can tell
she's got a lot of fear.

I've known her for a long time.

She's one of my
really good friend's sisters.

Two of my good friends
that I used to live with

they reached out to me
about Sarah's sister, Kat.

I know how much Sarah
cares about her sister.

And I know that her sister was
a great wife when she's sober.

[Frank] At this point
we do have detox and a bed
at Q-Health available.

So all the services that Kat
is going to be receiving,
will be up on the second floor.

Here we have our group rooms,

our individual council rooms.

Putting people in treatment
is a very tedious process

if you're trying
to do it the right way.

If you don't give a fuck,
and you just want
to collect a check on them,

then it's not much leg work.

I want to know that this place
is gonna be a good fit.

I want to be able to tell
somebody's mom or dad
or husband or wife or kids,

that they're
going somewhere safe.

-You guys are gonna drive safe.
-Thank you, Ben.

[Lesha] Thanks.

My name is Nick Morgan
I'm from Southern Illinois.

My name is Stephanie Clifton,
I'm from Norwalk Ohio.

My name is Austin Johnston
I'm from Fort Myers, Florida.

My name is Monica Foster.

My name is Seth, I'm from
Bowling Green, Kentucky.

My name is Chris, last time
I used was January 6th of 2014.

The last time
I used was nine days ago.

So I got a little bit
over 18 months clean.

The last time I used
was 499 days ago.

By the grace of God
I celebrate 18 months.

Last time I used
was five days ago.

My breaking point,
I actually went to
a treatment here in Florida.

You know, I had nothing left
in me, man. I looked at
my arms, I had track marks.

I was on
the phone with my family

pretty much manipulating,
saying like:

"If you don't give me money,
I'm gonna kill myself."

My heart stopped beating.

I had tubes breathing for me.
I had machines hooked up to me.

All I could say to myself was:
"God, why me?"

And then I had a moment
when I said: "Why not me?"

What makes me
any better than anybody else?

[sirens wails]

[Nicole] The heroin epidemic
is affecting so many people.

To go there and see somebody
laying on the ground,

you know,
usually with blood and vomit.

Sometimes when they fell,
they hit their head.

I'm most impacted when I see,
uh, the pictures of the person
that is laying on the ground,

and their child, uhm sitting
on the dresser next to them.

It's not OK
that these kids are gonna
grow up without their parent.

[Nicole] My name is Nicole
Lucas. I'm a detective
for the Delray Beach Department

and I'm currently assigned
to the Palm Beach County
State Attorneys

Sober Homes Task Force.

[narrator] Gold, it lured man
in an explosion of migration

from the ends of the earth
with pick, pan,
Long Tom and cradle.

Gold was the key that unlocked
the storehouse of wealth.

It started with Sober Homes
that were cash pay only.

They were just trying to
maintain a sober environment.

[Nicole] And South Florida
had more relaxed laws.

[Allie] Everybody is making
money if they're doing it right.

At some point it morphed into
this situation we have now

were there's so much money
involved now with

insurance companies
and insurance pay-outs.

And we can't just
kick them out on the street.

So, what are we gonna do?

[sirens wailing]

[narrator] Most people think
of Florida as a vacation land.

A lot of people
consider South Florida
the rehab capital of the world.

I beg to differ. I call it the
relapse capital of the world.

[Nicole] We're experiencing
a heroin epidemic.

None of us realized
that we were gonna see

three, four, five, six,
seven overdoses a day.

[sirens wailing]

[News Anchor] The Chief of
Police believes the numbers of

addicts seeking
treatment in Delray

attracts heroin dealers.

They're trying to get healthy,
that's not working.

And then you get
this other group who's
playing on that group saying:

"Ok, they're here
in my community

uh, and I'm gonna
go and sell them drugs

because we know they want them."

To the dealers
that are pushing this poison,
I have a message for you,

we're coming for you.

We're not dealing with
people choosing on a daily
basis to kill themselves.

Once we start using
and we're an addict,

all bets are off the table.
That's what we do,
it becomes our way of life.

It's a sickness,
just like anything else.

No police officer
or paramedic thought

they were getting in this field
to handle this.

I said 380 something overdoses

for this year alone just
in the city of Delray Beach

and we're only less
than 15 square miles.

We've had multiple
overdose deaths just in a day.

Like it's heartbreaking.
You have to try to, like...

almost pretend that it's
not real just to survive.

[Allie]
Kenny want's help, but I don't
think his girlfriend does.

[camera man]
Is there any way that I could
just move the camera over

-so we could see your
face because--
-No.

[Allie] Do you think that
going through treatment

could be successful?

Like how can you make
treatment successful?

[Taby]
I don't know. I mean it
seems like treatment in itself

is just
a bunch of repetitive shit
that we already really know.

-Mhm.
-Like you know,
your trigger isn't good,

and how to stay away
from people, places and things.

Like that's all they
really teach you in treatment.

So you guys have been through
the wringer together, huh?

-[Taby] Yeah.
-[Kenny] Yeah, definitely.
Definitely.

-Like Bonnie and Clyde?
-[Taby] Kind of. [laughs]

-Went to county jail like about
two months ago or something.
-Yeah.

-[Kenny] Four months ago.
-[Taby] Something like that.

I was in there
for like three weeks.

I got clean, I wasn't sick.

I felt really good when I got
out. And like I was so positive

and just like so set on:
"I'm gonna do this,
I'm gonna do that."

And get out. He's high and shit.

He was like asking me to hit--
help hit him on, you know,
with the rig.

Like: "No."
Just, it was too much. I got
high again within like a week.

It is all about the people,
places and things, you know.

If you sit in a barber shop
long enough, yeah, you're gonna
get your hair cut eventually.

It's the same thing down here.

Tabatha is co--
is still getting high
and Kenny has gone to detox.

But it's only been a few days
apparently since he's been out.

So... It probably is not
gonna last very long

if he's gonna
be hanging around with Tabatha.

If she's tricking, she's making
a few hundred dollars a day.

When you got money like that
rolling in, it's hard to stop.

[Allie] In Delray
tricking is like...

I mean obviously tricking
means prostitution.

Regular prostitution
is a girl jumps in your car

sucks your dick for 15 minutes
and you give her like 20 bucks.

You know,
this goes way beyond that.

In Delray tricking is more of

multiple men will fuck her,
the same girl at the same time

in ways that would make a normal
person want to kill themselves.

Just like I don't know how
these girls honestly make it
through a lot of this stuff.

Like it's sad.

It's really sad.
They degrade them.

They stick other stuff
up inside of them.

You know, it's not just like:
"Oh I'm gonna bang you or
you're gonna suck my dick."

It's like: "I'm gonna--
I'm gonna vandalize you.
I'm gonna hurt you."

Tabatha's young, like pussy.

She's getting high
and obviously you gonna
be a lot more ruthless with her

than with a nice girl
that you meet anywhere else.

She's not gonna
tell anyone about your secrets.

She's not gonna tell anyone
how disgusting you are.

She can't. She's disgusting
herself, right?

[Allie] I want to help
Tab and Ken. I really do.

[clinic rep] We can use
anything as a substance
of abuse including--

-Can you give them
free cigarettes?
-Uh, we don't.

Do they have to work here?

-Do they have to get a job,
or what?
-Yeah, absolutely.

-Is it... co-ed
-It is not co-ed.

[car door shuts]

I'm talking to all my friends,
all my connections.

I'm speaking with
my friend Adam.

-He has Sober Living beds.
-I mean I heard of the guy.

-Where was he at before?
-He had insurance.

Okay, he turned 26, he lost it.
No one would take him back.

He was in
a couple of flop houses.
One place beat him up.

I mean, I know this guy.
You know what I mean?

And I know--
I know he doesn't want it.

-I know he doesn't--
-But he does.

-But what about--
-Maybe being homeless

for fucking seven months,

makes the kid want to get sober.

Why am I gonna
jeopardize somebody's

life in here
for somebody that I think

-is gonna come here to use you.
-I don't want to do that.

To manipulate you to
take home these "washer-dryer

get-a-good-clean-night's sleep
and go out and get high again
tomorrow.

-What if he doesn't?
-What if-- I know the guy,

I met him before
and my judgement says no.
It's a Sober Home.

Adam, if you had zero tolerance,
would you
even be here right now?

-I mean, of course
I would be here.
-How many times did you relapse?

-How many times did you relapse?
-I was shooting one time.
I got sober.

I stayed sober.

[guitar music]

[Allie] I got in a lot of
trouble when I was younger.

When I was 17,
I got arrested for four
separate trafficking charges.

I was trafficking
Extasy and OxyContin.

I got arrested, went to jail,
got home on house arrest
and continued to get high.

And then luckily a bed opened up
at the state-ran facility.

Kelly is a great friend of mine

and we actually got into
treatment the same day.

She always promised me
she was gonna take me to
Las Vegas on my 21th birthday.

I'm 27 now, so...

She wasn't at the park.
She's obviously not out east
anywhere I could think of.

I lost four good, good,
good friends this month.

This really isn't like Kelly
not to answer, not to call,

not to text, not to find some--
She knows my number by heart.

So I don't know why
she hasn't contacted me.

I'm not gonna let
something bad happen to Kell.

[guitar music]

[Frank] I did my first shot
of heroin at the age of 16.

At the time, you know
when I was getting high,
like the word junkie

was almost like--
It was kind of like
a badge of honor for me

like, yeah I'm a junkie, like
look at me, I'm wasting my life.

You know,
I would just end up in the
biggest city that I could find

and get lost there
because nobody could find me.

Nobody could hold me accountable
for what I was doing.

Actually I once had
a day job at a place, dope sick.

And I was trying to, uh,

you know,
just make my little 85 bucks
so I could go and get high.

I was weak, I was feeble.

My job was basically
to pull Roll Bars for fires
off of a conveyor belt

after they went through
scolding hot water,
so they could be painted.

And I bumped into one, it fell,
wrapped around my face.

I remember the smell
of my own flesh just burning.

I called my drug dealer while
I was in the hospital for that.

And he actually
brought me some heroin.

And I went
and shot it in the bathroom.

You would think, like
shit like that happening

would like allow me
to stop and be like:

"Yo, what the fuck
is going on with my life?"

But no, I was right back to it.

[gate opener ringing]

[upbeat music]

[man on phone] Your couple
off of Delray Beach,
forget about them.

What do you mean? They ju--

I've been
unsuccessful in getting
somebody to help me out with

the Kenny and Tabatha situation.

-Ok, thanks, bye.
-Alright, bye.

Fucking maniac, dickhead.

[Frank] You know I've
known Allie and her boyfriend,
Blair for a long time.

Her boyfriend actually saved
my life at one point one time.

You know,
we do anything that we can to
help each other in this field.

[Allie] It's Tabatha and Kenny.

They have two couch cushions
cut in half that they're
sleeping on.

They keep getting
robbed and beat up.

-He's from my hometown actually.
-Yeah, that's what he says.

-He said that you
helped them out.
-Yeah, we brought them down

here like three years ago

and I gave them a place
in Port St. Lucie.

And I said:
"All you gotta do is call."

-They never called.
-Yeah.

-And--
-I mean Frankie, trust me.

I deal with these kids
all the time just like you do.

I know when they're ready to
get help and when they're not.

-I mean they have been caught in
this for a long fucking time.
-I know.

A long time.

And now he hasn't
had insurance in a long time.

-Right.
-They look rough, man.

He's like a 108 pounds.
So literally on the street
where it's raining on them

they're getting beat up daily.
Their kid got bit up.

She's like tricking,
doing all that stuff.

I just-- you know what I mean, I
got-- I feel-- I feel for them.

They're out there
ripping people off,
fucking doing shady ass shit.

-What were you doing
when you were getting high?
-I did too.

And when I got
my ass beat, I deserved it.

-You know what I mean?
-I agree.

They never-- they weren't
like victims about it.

No fucking way, man.

I guess
I'm the last sucker that's
gonna try and help them out.

But...

Maybe-- Maybe it will work.

Maybe too many people
gave up on them.

[music box]

[narrator] This is a factory.

This is a widget.

A widget You know
is just a symbol
for any manufactured product

that people use.

Most facilities
take PPO's or cash.

In South Florida it's kind of
morphed into this thing where

it's not as structured

because the facilities
can't see what you're
doing when you go home.

It's called
the Florida Model, actually.

[Allie] It begins with detox.

Detox last about
seven or ten days.

So they go to a facility
that offers comfort meds and

nurses and doctors.

You get off your meds
usually a day before you leave.

But it sucks because when you
actually get off the medication,

your cravings come back.

So, that's when the real work
for the addict begins.

And it's also where
the real cash comes in at.

[narrator] Here comes a man now.
And here comes another man
who wants to buy a widget.

There's such a widespread
demand for them.

Business is certainly good.

[Allie] You rent out an office

and you put like
two therapists in there,

a Clinical Director and you
have yourself a PHP program

which is partial
hospitalization.

Insurance usually pays

1,500 dollars a day for a PHP.

[Frank]
IOP is Intensive Outpatient.

It's a step down from
partially hospitalization.

It usually requires about
12 hours a week.

[Nicole]
Not all these people are bad.

The Recovery Industry
is vital to the success

of the people suffering
from the disease of addiction.

And there are amazing

therapists, treatment centers,
Sober homes
that genuinely care.

Some of them
are even losing money.

They're in it to help people
recover and get well.

[narrator] Evidently
in this widget business

somebody is always
buying and selling.

Everybody is
somebody else's customer.

And that's all
there is to it when
everything runs as smoothly

as it does in this factory.

I've heard stories of people
getting paid up to like
300 dollars a day

to keep somebody
out of sober living.

[Nicole] I would like to embrace
the Sober Homes as a community.

I want the neighbors
to not be afraid

when a Sober Home is
opening on their street.

I want to not be afraid
of a Sober Home
opening on my street.

[Frank] My definition of
a flophouse is a place that

is posted online or is posted
as a safe sober environment,

but they'll allow them
to get high.

Uh, but once they do something
that they don't like,

they'll just
send them back to treatment.

How they profit
is just by keeping, uh,
the clients in a revolving door.

When you leave detox
and you're sick already,

they get high without
even thinking about it.

You don't have good staff there
watching over them,

they're gonna go and use.
And when they use,
they go back to detox.

There's just a cycle
that just keeps going around.

[narrator] So with everything
humming along smoothly

and everyone
working for somebody else,

money seem to travel
around and around
in this widget business.

Maybe that's true in
other lines of business too.

Don't you think so?

[music]

[Frank] How long has it been
since you last used?

Probably like six hours now.

-Six hours?
-Yes.

[Frank]
The sweat, the dilated pupils,
Kat is dope Sick right now.

All your organs in your body
are basically when you're using
heroin, are pretty much

lying dormant.
When you stop using, all that
shit comes back to life.

You get your bowel movements
back, which is no fun.

And then you throw
a panic attack on top of that.

-Did you use a little bit before
you got on the plane, or?
-Yeah.

Yeah, how much?

Uh, a bundle.

-And then--
-Damn, dude.
You've been going hard.

Mhm, I took some on the plane.

So when I got off,
I did a little bit more.

How long have you
been doing this?

Uh.

Think 15 years.

15 years, that's how long I ran.

Stop putting
your family through this, man.

I know that this is
the last chance I'm gonna have.

They're about done with me.

Now you can see it's
eating them up every day and
they're not sleeping,

wondering if I'm gonna wake up
or they're gonna
find me overdosed.

Are they giving you money
or anything like that?

-No.
-No?

-Not any more.
-Yeah.

I want to make
my sister proud and

I want my nephews back
in my life again.

And I want
to watch them grow up.

And I know I can
never be in their lives
if I'm continuously using.

You're gonna
go into detox tonight

and then from there you'll
be going to, uh, Q-Health.

What's up, guys?

Hey, buddy.

[Kat] Hi.

[sighs] How are you feeling?

[Kat] Pretty shit.

-Pretty shitty?
-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Okay.
-I just really want to
make this work this time.

Good, I hope you do.
I really do.

I'm so sick
of feeling like this.

-I know.
-[Frank] Look how hard
Sarah and Josh

had to fight to get where
they're at, you know.

Your sister is
a fucking soccer mom now, dude.

I never thought that would
happen in a million years.

[Frank]
You can do this too, man.
You've seen her fight for it.

-You know what you've got to do.
-Yeah.

Mhm.

I want to be
in their lives again.

And I want to be
in your life again.

And...

They're my world.

I just so don't want
to hurt you guys any more.

Kathleen, it's okay. It's okay.

It's gonna be
so much better, so much
better when you get out, okay?

You're gonna be an aunty.

You got these two kids
to live for. Okay?

Not just us.

-I love you.
-I love you.

I'm proud of you.

-We'll be in to see you.
-Love you too.

Josh, I love you, man.

-[nephew] I love you.
-Good luck.

-[laughing].
-Bye, guys. Bye, Baby Josh.

[upbeat music]

[Lesha] So many of them
have burned bridges.
They don't have any family.

-They, you know, are afraid to
call home for Christmas.
-Yeah.

Just give them
some encouragement on that.

-Are you gonna incorporate
the holidays in there at all?
-Yes.

Yeah, okay.

And you're gonna go before me?

-Yeah.
-Okay, alright.

[Frank] My mom,
we got into this together.

This is a lady that, like
watched me go through hell.

Like literally watched me
try to kill myself.

I've stolen from this lady,
I've broke into her house.

I sold crack out of her house.

When they say addiction
is a family disease,

like I can see today
how I affected my mom.

She spent endless nights calling
jails, calling hospitals

like making sure I wasn't dead.

You know, and I would just
like-- I would get a phone call

and just hit
the fuck-you-button.

What are you
gonna speak about tonight?

Uhm, I'd like to talk about not
giving up on your loved one

that's in active addiction.

Okay.

And maybe tell
a few Frankie stories.

-Cool?
-Cool, I'll tell
a couple of mom stories.

-Yeah.
-[from stage] One, two...

[microphone feedback]

Why is there
a spoon in your glovebox?

-Cause it was under my car.
-Okay, well ju--

-I'm not-- you know Jessie found
it and she's drug tested--
-I don't care.

Okay, well.

[Frank] My mom, she actually
used to sell cars for
Mercedes and manage dealerships.

So we have
Fuck Heroin Foundation.

[cheering and clapping]

These are the guys that,
like really put it together.

You know what I mean,
behind the scenes.

[Frank] I couldn't
stop shooting heroin.

She picked me up
and we went over to like
nine different hospitals

to try to find help.

[applause]

She got so pissed off

with people not knowing how
to deal with this disease

that she quit her job
like a couple of weeks later.

Hey, everybody.
I'm Mama Dukes, Frankie's mom.

She went back to school, got
a degree in chemical dependency.

I'm a therapist and an
interventionist, although

90 percent of what I use
is from the streets.

From being the crazy mom that
followed her kid everywhere,

drug dealer by the throat
through car windows.

Kicking in dope houses,

bringing him out by his head.

Uh, he'll tell you that

he could be in China in a
bathroom getting ready to use,

and he'd say: "My mom is
the crazy type that would
have her head under the door

saying":
"What the fuck are you doing?"

[Frank] My mom and I started
the Fuck Heroin Foundation,

going into our fourth year.

A lot of speaking engagements.

♪ Pressures, sleeping
On floors and benches ♪

♪ Every night I felt helpless,
Restless, hopeless ♪

♪ Now I made a choice
To be dopeless ♪

After seeing me
go through addiction,

and getting into that field,
even though

my mom never experienced
what opiates feel like,

the level of pain
that she's experienced

really qualifies her
to do what she does.

You know, you're away
from home right now

and you may have
burned some bridges.

Don't let that get you down.

Move forward in life.

If you need help, you're
meeting a whole lot of people

here today that have your back.
We're your family.

-[applause].
-[Frank] Oh shit.

[Lesha] Come on up, Frankie.

[announcer] Frank,
you better two-step
all the way up her, bro.

[audience laughing]

[Lesha] My son's always got
to take the long road around.

What's up, everybody?
How are you all doing?

[clapping]

Thank you.

[cheering]

Guys, my name is Frankie
and uh, I'm a grateful
recovering addict. Uhm...

I'm a heroin addict, alcoholic,
gambler, whatever
you want to call it, man.

Like my disease
tells me I need more.

More, more, more. Feed me,
feed me, fuck you, fuck your
life, what you need to do.

Feed me more.
And for me, you know,
Christmas used to be, well--

This aunt's gonna give me
a gift card. I can sell that
for 50 cent on the dollar.

And I know grandma over here
is gonna send me
like 20 bucks, you know.

And that is what
my holiday consisted of.

What can I get so I can go out
the next day or that night

and trade all my gifts
and everything.

Uhm... You know,
a lot of people wanna call
this right now a heroin epidemic

you know,
to me it's more of a plague.

This-- this-- this disease
want's us dead.

Just because we live this way,
just because this happens,

it doesn't mean that
we're bad people, man.

There's a lot of people out here
that are recovering

and have recovered.

[speech is muted]

[Frank]
You know, here I am shooting a
documentary with a camera crew.

I've taken people
off the streets,
getting them into rehab.

Living a lie.

Yeah, I relapsed.

I stopped doing
what I needed to do.

You know, like:
"Hey, I'll be right back.
I'm gonna go and get some food."

Go and shoot
a couple of bags of dope and
come back, you know what I mean.

And, uh, you know,
that's the whole thing
about addiction, it's--

You learn to live a lie and get
comfortable with that lie.

So, once I started
lying to myself,

I forgot that I was an addict.
And next thing you know, I had
that fucking needle in my arm.

[dreamy music]

And if nobody told you that
they love you, I love you, guys.

-Thank you.
-[clapping]

[Frank] And I was like:
"I can still do this,
nobody knows what's going on."

I didn't think I had a problem
because my drug dealer

told me that I was
the only person he knew

that could keep my
addiction under control.

It started with the pain pills
down in South Florida.

Pretty much anything
you can put in a needle, I use.

I used heroin.

My drug of choice
is Crystal Meth.

I was shooting Blue Heroin.

Soon as I did it,
I never wanted anything else.

I found myself completely numb.
I felt like I was floating, man.

And no one knew
what I was doing.

So from 15 to 17 years old, uhm,

being in ninth grade, walking
the hallways of my high school.

I'm walking around dope sick
like a zombie, and nobody knew
what was going on with me.

[eerie music]

[Allie]
When you know that no one else
is looking for this person,

and no one else cares but you,

that's personal. With Kelly,
obviously she's on a drug binge,

but I just don't know where.

[phone ringing]

[footsteps]

[Allie] The hardest part about
being a woman and getting high

is just like that fear of
what can happen to you.

Who's gonna-- How can they rape
you? How can they hurt you?

Who might, or might not
hurt you? You don't know.
You never know

what situation you're gonna
get yourself into every day.

So, and it's-- It's scary.

It's scary.
That's why a lot of girls
get high with their boyfriend.

And stay with them, but this
girl doesn't have a boyfriend.

She's solo, so...

After you're done,
robbed everybody,

pawned everything you got,

what else do you have left
other than your body?

She's been beat up.

Kelly's been raped.

She was just trying to get high.

She was hanging out
at some dope dealers house

and I believe it
started out with like one--

One guy

she said she would
do something with

and then like a whole bunch
of them came in the room

and they all raped her.

[phone ringing]

She kind of like dusted it off.

And I think
a lot of women do that.

When they use,
they bury that pain.

And that is what addiction is.

You don't care about
the consequences as much.

It's tough for the public
to understand addiction.

They look at it as like:

"Are you fucking stupid,
like why wouldn't you stop?"

I found a bed for Conor
at Phoenix Resolutions
up in Port St. Lucie.

I'm going out
to look for him again.

You know, hopefully today,
you know, he picks up the phone,

he calls and he's
ready to fucking do this.

Cause this bed is not gonna
fucking be there forever.

[Frank] I'm a junkie,
you know what I mean. I know
where we fucking hide out.

So I checked all those places.

So obviously
my first thought is overdose.

[Frank] Conor is supposed
to be calling me every day.

Maybe he doesn't want this.
Willingness and desire
for recovery comes in waves.

So that's why I need to find him
today, you know, 'cause I don't
know what state of mind he's in.

I'm running out
of places to look for Conor.

I agreed I'm going
to meet with Kenny and Tabatha.

I'd be lying
if I said a part of me

just didn't
want to hear what kind
of story they got this time.

[train horn blares]

[coughing]

So should we sleep here tonight?
We're not even here
during the day

and it's just like, you know.

[Frank] Do you guys got
a sleeping bag or anything,
or just that blanket?

We got a blanket that we put
over these couch cushions

-and cover up with this one
and a cardboard underneath.
-[Tab] These are two cushions.

[Frank] Where do you guys
go when it rains?

That's what I ask.

-[Taby] Yeah, well...
-[Kenny] All I think about

is where we're gonna get
the next fix the next morning.

I wake up 15, 20 times at night.

Oh, shit what am I gonna have
to do tomorrow to get high?

You know, we're--
We'll be sick and it's like
seven o'clock in the morning.

I got to go walk the street
and panhandle 20 dollars

just so we're not deathly sick,
you know what I mean.

This is rock bottom,
obviously, you know.

-It doesn't get any worse.
-And we don't have our families

in our lives.
We don't have friends,

we don't have shit.
We have each other.

And fucking-- because
all we give a shit about
is dope right now.

We want out, yeah. Definitely,
like, I'd kill for it right now.

-[Allie] How many places
have you guys--
-[Frank] How many couples houses

have you guys been in so far?

-[Taby] At least four.
-[Kenny] Five or six.

[Kenny] Probably four, five or
six. Trying to reach out without
insurance and shit, man.

You can't even get in nowhere.
We just need someone right now

to be like: "Look, here you go,
here is your opportunity.

Get the fuck in the car and go."

[laughs] And, like
I'm there like.

Well, here is your opportunity.

-Yeah.
-We're not gonna
get in the car tonight.

[Allie] If you guys are
gonna detox together

and you have the same bed,
it's gonna be a flop

and you aren't gonna get better.

How many people
do you guys see die out here?

-A lot.
-A lot.

What makes you exempt

from that shit,
do you know what I mean?

I've had the opportunity right
now to go to a halfway house

and get a scholarship,
but she didn't.

And I'm not gonna leave her
out here on the street alone.

You know, and not
know if she's safe or not.

-[Tab] So...
-[sighs] Alright.

[Allie] I'm not trying to be
mean, but I've been in the
situation, it's fucking sad.

-[Taby] Mhm.
-When you got to think about
the person that you love

more than anything just gone

like that's probably

like the saddest thing ever.

[Taby] So I don't know if
I can do this by myself.

I feel like I need a lot of
support from you right now.

How has that been
working for you so far?

I mean it hasn't really, but

-I'm scared to do it alone.
-So what's gonna make
it work now?

I don't know
what the difference is gonna be.

I don't know how to do it alone.
I don't even know
if I want to do it at all.

[Frank] If I knew that
my girl was out sucking dick,

fucking in the back of cars,

selling her
fucking ass on Backpage.

That shame
that, uh, you know, that
questioning my own manhood.

As an addict, it's life.
It is what it is,
you know what I mean.

I can tell it's
eating Kenny up on the inside

to know that they had to
go through these experiences.

But at the end of the day
I understand that.

He excepts that
as a way of life.

You know, we tried
for seven months reaching out,

it ain't one person fucking
offered us anything yet.

This is the only opportunity
we might have right now

to actually
go and get the help we need.

So we might as well
try and take it.

Hard to not be hopeless after
this long of being out here.

Like I know it's both of
ours fault, but you know,

one of us got to step up
and we both got to step up

and actually
go and do it this time.

And like
I love you to death, and I do
want to see you get better.

But I do need to take care
of myself, just like you
need to take care of yourself

and don't worry about me.

Worry about yourself right now.

It's hard
not to worry about you.

-[Kenny] I love you.
-[Taby] I love you too, baby.

[Allie]
Looking at where they live,
it makes me really grateful

to have everything that I have.

[car door shuts]

[Allie]
My boyfriend's name is Blair.

-Why have I even received--
-I'm so glad
I don't do what you do.

It's all, it's exhausting.

He doesn't cook or clean,

but that's okay.
I still love him anyway.

Don't put that in there.

[Blair] Do you make food?

[Blair]
Babe, I'm starving, seriously.

Blair, what do you want to eat?

[Allie]
Blair is in recovery as well.

Blair got like
almost ten years, nine years
sober and he relapsed.

And he is embarrassed,
but now he's sober.

And he's doing a good job.

And he gave me a whole other
outlook on addiction

[kissing] and what
the family goes through.

[narrator]
You stand today in the midst
of a selling revolution.

[Allie] Every industry has
people that are gonna scam

it if the opportunity is there.

The easiest way to make money
off a treatment client

is to be a marketer.

They do exactly what I do
and get paid,

but they don't
care about the client.

They don't
care about the families.

We have an infamous case that,
you know made national news.

This guy was literally like
boarding the windows closed

in his Sober Living,
tricking girls out.

You know, he would pick them up

you know, and have
people get to know them.

Buy them some clothes
you know, make them feel
good about themselves.

You know, I'm talking
about like real life
fucking human trafficking.

Patient brokering is pretty much
just sale of people.

So if one person owns
the Treatment Center

and one person
owns a Sober Home,

they come to an agreement
where the Sober Home
will refer the patients

to the Treatment Center
and then get some type off, uhm,

benefit in exchange
which is generally money.

Do I start selling right away?

Well, first you got
to know your product.

[upbeat music]

[doorbell ringing]

They make a Facebook page,

as long as you can,
like quote some Bible Verses...

We also have bad
patient brokers, marketers...

Th-- those people are signing
people offering insurance.

[Allie]
Relapse was part of their
Business Plan, essentially.

A Junkie Hunter, a Body Broker,
whatever you want to call them--

You know, it's got a very
bad rap because of people

that are out, you know,
doing the wrong thing.

And when you call them,
and you tell them: "Hey,

I've been homeless,
I'm living outside,

I got raped last night.

I really,
really, really need help."

And then the first
question they ask you is:

"What kind of policy
do you have?"

The first question
I ask every single person
that calls my phone is:

"Are you in a safe place?"

There are
good marketers out there.

There are people that are
in this for the right reason.

I think it comes down
to what's your first question

when you're go to help somebody.

"What's your policy?"

Or: "Are you safe?"

[brushing teeth]

[Frank] You know, there's a
lot Conor and I have in common.

When I see
the scars on his face,
knowing that he'd been burnt,

there was a reason why
Conor was put in my life.

I know that hopelessness
he's going through.

Grateful for
a fucking cheeseburger.

I know that feeling.

[Frank] When I fly out
of Detroit airport

to come down here
to South Florida
to get sober myself,

I shot up 12 bags of dope
before getting on a plane.

Most people, normal people will
be like: "What the fuck, dude

you're going to rehab.
Why do you have to do this?"

As addicts, as junkies
we have a sense of entitlement.

I'm never gonna
feel this way again.
I'm gonna get it in right now.

Just about everybody
I take to rehab want's
to get it in that one last time.

Right now I'm sure,
you know, Conor is out
absorbing every resource.

In his eyes, I'm never gonna
see my best friend again.

[music]

Going up. Can you get me
some comfortable things cause...

in a little while here, I'm not
gonna feel well, probably.

So I want to be
as comfortable as possible.

-[Kelly] Yeah,
-[Allie] I'm in the closet.

I'm kind of like freaking out,
this is like a whole change of--

You know, right now I feel okay.
But I'm a little freaked out

that in a couple of hours
I'm not gonna feel okay.

Better.

[whispering] I smell crap.

I need the shoes. Shoes, okay.

[Kelly] I was gonna ask her,
should I bring laundry soap?

I wonder if I need laundry soap?

Kelly made my day. As soon as
she got here, I got happier.

So, she's all
I really care about right now.

[wheels squeaking]

She's so funny.

-You're actually
my favorite person.
-Give me a hug, Allie cat.

Thank you so much
for everything.

I love you so much.

I appreciate it.
I know you're stressed.

The plan was for us to--
for her to go to treatment

when she was
supposed to the whole time
I was looking for her.

And for her to get out,
use her tax-return money

and get an apartment
to get her kids back.

Well, what happened was

she went missing, and when she
came to my door, she told me

that she had gotten her
tax return money back

and she blew it all
on dope and crack.

She's ready now
to get help, so...

Her name is Kelly Anne Tucker.

I don't know, Kelly Anne,
A-N-N-E or A-N-N.

[Kelly] I don't know what's on
my license. Does it matter?

-[Allie] Her name is
Kelly Tucker.
-Kelly Tucker, yeah.

Now I'm making
a million phone calls.

Why? 'Cause these other
detox don't want
to let me in because I--

The insurance?
Is that what the issue is?

No, because you've
been using so long.

-I think so. We just--
they just want to make sure.
-Yeah, 'cause I told her

-like how well I've been doing.
-They just don't want
to take you

and then
if you're a risk on them,

'cause they didn't
detox you right.

She might have
Benzos in her system,
but it's not like a lot.

[Allie]
No, I know. I know, I know.

-[Allie] Alright,
I'll return you--
-[Kelly] Alright, that's clean.

[Kelly] I'm taking my
paraphernalia out of my purse.

What is it?

Cap and some bags.

[Frank] What's up, man?

Alright, alright, bye.

Alright, so she got us
this lady's number.
I got to call her.

-What's wrong?
-I have no money.

I hate my life.

At least you came [indistinct]
fucking in the dirt on the side
of the railway tracks

and you have a place to go.

Are they on drugs?

I had originally found Kelly
a scholarship
at a Treatment Center.

And by the time she finally
fucking showed up,
it had fallen through.

I told her that I'm prescribed
for Oxycodone 30 mg a day

that I've been taking
and then also [indistinct]
like five bags a day

or whatever,
so that's probably why.

I'm not only dealing with
the life of my best friend.

I'm dealing with the fact that

she's gonna lose
her two kids too.

So, I feel like that's
all on my shoulders.

Yes, oh great. Cool.

Good, yay!

Awesome.

-Cool, sweet, perfect.
-Ok, so what you're saying
is they're gonna pick me up

-from this detox and bring me
to this Treatment Center?
-The Treatment Center.

-Cause it's-- they're nearby.
-Oh, okay.

-Can I smoke cigarettes?
-Mhm.

-Okay.
-I'll double-check, but yeah.

Look at me,
all I care about is cigarettes.

I locked the doors,
here's the keys to my car.

It's parked over by
the tree if you have to move it.

The gas lights are on, but
you'll make it to the ga--
I was gonna stop and get gas,

'cause I didn't want to be late.
So, but you'll make it
to the gas station.

[Kelly] I'm sweaty. [laughs]

[sirens in the distance]

[Conor] If fucking people
see me out here,

like, dude,
they're gonna be bugging out.

-Bro--
-Last time I saw you,
you were never coming back.

Yeah, I know, but like

as long as I get somewhere
where I can just be safe

and get right,
you know what I mean?

-Yeah.
-That's all I worry about.

Like I'm gonna
get out of detox and
there's gonna be nobody there.

-You know what I mean?
-No, though you'll--

When you get out of detox,
they'll already be there.

You know what I mean? Like
they'll make arrangements

with the Treatment Center
to come and get you.

Do you got
any clothes or anything

you got to take with you, bro?

[coughs]

[organ music playing]

I remember when
you were pregnant
in the Treatment Center.

I remember when we first met,
we were sitting there.

They didn't have
a bed for us, remember that?

-Yeah.
-And they put us in a room
that was like a closet.

-[laughing].
-Remember that? My life.

I used to have to come
and wake you up every morning.

-And they separated us.
-Yeah.

We were not roommates any more.

[laughing]

[Allie] Where are the kids?
Are they happy?

Well, I mean. Visitation sucks.

Just because it's like
in just like a cube,

like in this room.
You know what I mean.

You got this stupid lady
that sits there.

I just told them that, you know,

I get to see them
on Christmas. But...

Mommy is gonna get better.

[Allie] Kelly is a 100 percent
gonna lose her kids

if she doesn't go
and stay in treatment.

[Allie] And I think if she
doesn't do the right thing,

then the kids should
be put up for adoption.

No children should
have to live like that.

How do you stay clean, cause it
seems to me that I can't do it.

I do what you don't do.

[laughing] I know that.

-I don't know. Just go to--
-Do you go to meeting still?

-Yeah.
-You do?

The main thing of it, which you
never finished, and I did.

-Is steps.
-Yes.

I know.

You got to work the steps, man

and you
got to help other people.

When I get off work, like--
Well, like you worked all day,

like you're stressed,
like you know, I don't know.

So that's like--
That's my downfall.

It's definitely
when I get off work.

Do you want to know
what's pretty cheap?

It's cheaper than a Roxy.

And it's about
an hour long of relaxation.

And go and get your feet rubbed

-at one of these
feet-rubbing places.
-Yes!

That's nice.

[music]

So, just-- just try working
the steps, bro.

Just give it a try,
you know what I mean, like--

It works, man. I didn't--

I didn't want to
work them, but I did and

-it helped me a lot, man.
-Yeah.

But every time I try to do shit
my way, I get fucked up.

Well, yeah that's like I was
saying to you before I got--

So I learn-- doing it my way

it ends up fucking really bad,
you know.

I cannot live
a normal life and do drugs.

I'm sorry too,
like no disrespect.

-[Frank] What?
-[Conor] I got high
in front of you.

-[Frank] Bro, I see it
every day, man.
-I know, I just--

I think it's disrespectful,
you know what I mean.

In front of someone
that's sober and shit.

[music]

Please look me in my eyes.

Take your glasses off.

-Tell me you're gonna make it.
-I'm gonna make it.

-You gonna do good?
-I'm gonna do good.

Are you gonna get
your kids back?

I'm gonna get my kids back.

Are you gonna hang out with me

and have fun?

Yeah, you're gonna help me.

Alright, I love you, Kelly.

[Allie] Kelly, you can do this.

I believe in you,
and I love you.

And when you're sober,
you're awesome.

-[Allie] It's gonna be fun. Fun.
-Okay I don't know
about fun, but okay.

I'll be there when you get home.

And I hope that you give

yourself the opportunity

to live the best life
you could live.

And I hope that you
finally take me to Las Vegas.

[Allie] I'm tired,
I'm over it, I've been
dealing with this 24-7.

Your friends die,
and your friends relapse
and your co-workers relapse.

And just being surrounded by

addiction 24-7 is exhausting,
pretty much is the point.

[Frank] You eat,
you eat good too here, bro.

-I got to... [mumbling]
-They got like a fucking
ice cream machine and shit.

-[laughing]
-Seriously, there's times
that I drop

people off at places like this,

-and I want to stay.
-[laughing] Yeah, right.

[Frank] I've got to get
my girl and my almost

-you know,
three year old daughter...
-Yeah.

Two dogs and a cat, bro.

Sometimes rehab sounds real
fucking plush, bro.

[laughing]

-[Lesha] Hey, Conor.
-What's up?

-Really proud of you, man.
-I appreciate that.

-How do you feel?
-I'm good, I'm alright.

-I'm happy.
-A little bit nervous?

Of course.

I'm nervous, but I'm

just so glad
I have an opportunity.

No, I really appreciate it,

and I'm gonna try
to take full advantage.

-You know what I mean?
-You need to, man.

-Yeah.
-[Lesha] Start another life.

Get back on your feet.

It'll get better every day,
we'll be here when you get out.

-Awesome.
-If you need stuff, let us know.

Yeah, if you need more clothes,
like socks, underwear,

just let me know,
and I'll bring them to you.

Take advantage
of the ice cream machine.

-You'll be up in there playing
cards and stuff in no time.
-Yeah.

[Frank]
After the two days of chaos,

I finally get a peace of mind
because I see Conor smile.

-Alright.
-Good luck.

-Thank you so much.
-Good luck, good luck.

[Conor] I appreciate it.

[Frank]
I've seen that look of despair,

that desperation
inside of him, that pain

turn into a spark of hope.

-[Lesha] You got this,
your new life starts right now.
-Yeah.

I appreciate it.

[Frank] I could see that
he did want this and,

you know, it reminded me, you
know... That's what live for.

It's to see that light come on
in an addicts eyes.

My name is Conor Geary,
I'm a heroin addict.

I used just a little bit ago.

I'm here basically
to get my life right.

You know what I mean? Get off
dope, do the right thing.

Live a good life.

I don't want to die out here,
you know.

[siren in the distance]

My whole life consist of people
getting high, people dying,

people being
your friend and then
not being there the next day.

Friends getting
their kids taken away.

Like it's old, it's old.

Yeah, I'm done.
I'm, like over it.

[camera man] What?

Because it's like sad.

It's sad trying to,
like help these kids,

and like not being
able to help them.

And like I just
want to be able to do it.

Yeah, I am helping them, but I
can only help so many people.

It's like what about
the look on their face
when you can't help them.

It's like not enough resources
and like I can't take it

all on my shoulders.

But when they're always
reaching out to you for help,

it's like so overwhelming.

And like, I've been doing it
for six years now

and I can't take anymore.
I just want like a regular job

'cause it's not healthy for me.
I'm in recovery too.

I'm just like not happy.

You know, I'm like tired.

[music]

[Allie] I feel like putting
myself in this world

helps me be grateful
for my sobriety.

[piano music]

[Allie] I could
a 100 percent relapse.

It's like literally
like a day at the time.

A lot of people forget what
it's like when they're using.

They forget what they did,
they forget how they acted,

they forget how they treated
people that they loved.

I feel like...

I do have that opportunity

of seeing myself
through these people

who I at least used to be,

and could be any day.

[waves breaking]

May I ask you all
to stand, please.

Lord, we look to thee now
for strength

and comfort in our sorrow.

Help us in this hour
to put our trust in you

that we may receive
light and understanding

and a new experience
of your grace

on to eternal hope
through Jesus Christ,
our Lord and Savior.

♪ Amazing Grace

♪ How sweet the sound

♪ That saved

♪ A wretch like me

♪ I once was lost

♪ But now am found

[Allie] Well,
I'm about to call the cops.

Because...

Are you sure though?

'Cause your brother's told me
that you're not.

He's telling me something bad is
gonna happen. You're gonna die.

[indistinct on phone]

I don't know.
I don't know what happened
in your conversation, at all.

Okay, are you able
to make it to the detox?

[indistinct on the phone]

That's fine. When do you think
you're going to be there?

Are you still
trying to get high?

Blair, my boyfriend relapsed.

And he's been
like missing for like two days.

So I got him
a scholarship for detox, but...

So I'm just trying to
get him to go there and show up.

Then I'm over it. I don't care.

I helped him out.
I got him a scholarship
for the fucking 100th time.

Which I don't need to do. He's
supposed to be there Thursday,

Friday, yesterday,
last night, this morning.
He's still not there.

He's at some public parking lot
getting high, where he slept.

So it's probably
time for me to move out.

Move on.

That is just sad.
I feel bad for him

'cause I know he's struggling.

But...

You got to think like:
"Are you willing to die

for someone else to live?"

No, you know.

So...

I'm not at least.

And it's scary to leave,

but someone told me
it's like the hermit crab,
when he leaves his shell.

The hermit crab
is like terrified.

And he's like: "Oh my god,
what did I do? I left my home

and I can't go back in

and I'm in this big ocean

and I'm stuck here

and I'm gonna die,
it's gonna be awful.

And then as he thinks everything
is gonna be okay,

and he calms himself down
from his panic attack

he finds a shell, another one

that he fits in. And he thinks:
"What would happen if I never
left my old shell?"

[eerie music]

We're here today

to remember
the life of Conor James Geary.

Conor was one that tried

his best to fight
the good fight.

[sister] He just had
a very sweet demeanor.

I miss him. [cries]

[sniffles]

He was doing so good.

He was just learning to live.

[sniffles]

And I just pray that
God has welcomed him

With open arms.

[sighs]

[priest] Thank you.

[priest] Would anyone like
to say anything before
we say goodbye to Conor?

[Logan] I, uhm--
I was with Conor

the last probably
four, five months

at the place
that he was at, uhm...

And he was happy
those four or five months.

Uhm, he picked me up
a couple of times

when I was feeling down
just with his sarcasm.

This is really unfortunate,

but I did get to see him grow
in those five months.

Uhm, I didn't know him
prior to that.

But I saw him
when he walked in those doors

and saw how broken he was
and then I saw the man

that he became
over those five months.

[priest] Okay, guys
we're gonna move inside.

So just uh...
We can leave the chairs,

just head on in and--

Did you get one of these?

Here.

-Thank you for coming.
-Thank you.

Did I talk to you
on Facebook, kind of? Yeah.

-That was you?
-Yeah.

I'm glad you got to know Conor.

Yeah, this song is called
"In our dreams".

It was one of his favorites
whenever he was down

he wanted me to play him music.

This is the one that he liked.

♪ Another lullaby

♪ To sing to an angel high

♪ Too close to home this time

♪ I lost another
Friend of mine ♪

♪ Too young to take a life

♪ We'll miss those loving eyes

♪ We think of him that night

♪ We see him smiling bright

♪ I heard that
You weren't clean ♪

♪ So I ignored
all your screams ♪

♪ Only cared if I got free

♪ As selfish as [indistinct]

♪ When they said
He'd gone to sleep ♪

♪ Pray the Lord
He's soul took him ♪

♪ Don't cry, brother
Please don't weep ♪

♪ He'll still live on
In our dreams ♪

♪ He'll still live on
In our dreams ♪

[sister] Conor called me on
Friday and he said that, uhm...

that they were telling everybody
that they had to leave

because they weren't
quote, unquote:

"They weren't
making enough money."

The owner didn't even say it,
he had somebody else say it.

Like he was there, but he
wouldn't even tell us himself.

They pretty much said like:
"Yeah, we're closing down,

and you need to be out
by the end of the day."

And you could see it
like when they walked out,

nobody wanted to go anywhere.

It's like we were
all doing okay.

It just could have been avoided.

[Logan] It should have been.

[Conor] I'm here basically
to get my life right.

You know what I mean,
get off dope.

Do the right thing,
live a good life.

I don't want to die out here.

I'm getting clean for myself.

First off, myself.
You know what I mean.

The way I'm living is not cool.

I'm better than that, you know.

[Lesha] Six month ago, we had
the honor of meeting Conor.

He went to The Haven Detox.

Got through that
very successfully,
went on to treatment.

He was sober almost six months.

Unfortunately in this business,

a lot of it
has to do with financials.

And the Treatment Center
he was in decided to drop

these two young men off
at a hotel.

They must have got whatever they
were getting immediately

and most likely were
deceased since Friday.

You know, Conor...

I know how much you wanted to
change your life, and, uh...

I really wish you were here
to be able to do that.

And that you were
out here standing with me

talking about
something totally different.

We love you, sweetheart.
No more pain.

You're with your mom and dad.
May you rest in heaven, sweetie.

When Frankie relapsed,

I uhm...

I can't tell you
how incredibly proud I was.

What he doesn't understand, just
him saying and admitting that

is the hugest relief,
because then I know

we can start the uphill battle
again, as opposed to
watching him spiral down.

[guitar music]

[Allie] I see Kenny,
I never really see Taby
that much anymore.

-If I do, she's like--
-[Frank] She's not in jail,
is she?

No, I see her
walking the streets.

I just don't think
they're like getting along

very well right now.

How are you doing, Frankie?
Are you doing okay?

I have like four months back.

-Really?
-I feel really good, yeah.

[Allie] Are you doing
anything different this time?

Yeah, I'm just trying not to
make this my, uh, my program.

-You know what I mean, like--
-Yeah.

Cause it's fucking--
It got bad quick,

-like real quick last time.
-Yeah.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-Real, real quick.
-Fuck that.

-How is your little girl?
-She's good. I was hoping
to see her this time,

but, uhm, I had some
flight problems and stuff.

-So I'm gonna come and see her
in a couple of weeks.
-Cool.

-She's getting big, though.
-Really?

-Yes, it sucks not to like,
you know, having her.

-Yeah.
-All the time
and being in Ohio, but...

-It's for the best.
-Yeah.

She loves our little hour or two

that we get
to spend together, man, it's--

Like, yeah.

-I definitely miss her, though.
-I bet. I'm sorry.

You've got
a lot of acceptance, Frankie.

-Yeah,
-You're doing good.

Thank you.

[Allie] I know that Frankie
doesn't have

like a ton of time sober.

And I pray for him, you know,
every night like
I do all my friends.

Frankie, no matter what,
you can do it.

No matter all of the struggles
and no matter what anybody says,

you got this.

And even if you don't
got this one day,

I'll always be there for you.

[phone ringing]

[Kelly] Hi, Allie cat.

Hi, Kell What are you doing?

The last time I spoke with Kelly
was, I got her a lift

back to West Palm from here

'cause she was about to get
arrested for prostitution.

[Kelly]
But now the next court deal
was supposed to be until August,

but because I haven't done
anything, and I've not complied.
I haven't done anything.

Every time
I think about this shit, I
kick my fucking self in the ass.

If I would have just
stayed where you put me,

I would've been done with
all the shit, had my kids back.

Anyway I'm doing like 30 days.
And now here it is-- It just
pisses me off. I'm so stupid.

You're an idiot
for screwing up the first
scholarship that you got.

And I wish that you wouldn't
have done that

'cause this would have
all been done already

and you wouldn't be struggling
to figure it out, but...

It'll get sorted.

It's all gonna be okay.

Well, I stay optimistic
because I've seen

people like Kelly get it.

I've seen them figure it out.
I've seen them get better.

I do-- I mean,
I believe in most people.

That's why I do what I do.

[music]