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1
00:00:02,979 --> 00:00:04,214
? ?
2
00:00:04,315 --> 00:00:06,617
(cheering)
3
00:00:06,717 --> 00:00:09,386
Okay, Danica, spill the beans.
4
00:00:09,486 --> 00:00:11,888
Where are we going for my
bachelorette party, hmm?
5
00:00:11,988 --> 00:00:15,091
Burlesque seafood
buffet in Reno?
6
00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:17,761
The theme was going to
be "Trapped in a Mine."
7
00:00:17,861 --> 00:00:20,531
You know, because
marriage is a trap.
8
00:00:20,631 --> 00:00:22,265
But Carly vetoed my idea
9
00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:24,668
without so much as
a petite rendezvous.
10
00:00:24,768 --> 00:00:28,071
We are going to...
11
00:00:28,171 --> 00:00:30,240
Ohio!
12
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:33,344
I said...
13
00:00:33,444 --> 00:00:35,446
Ohio!
14
00:00:35,546 --> 00:00:37,881
We heard you.
15
00:00:37,981 --> 00:00:40,417
Wait. Are we gonna be
on my favorite TV show
16
00:00:40,517 --> 00:00:41,585
Toledo House Flip?
17
00:00:41,685 --> 00:00:43,454
No.
18
00:00:44,287 --> 00:00:47,090
But we are going to
the "Party Like They Do
19
00:00:47,190 --> 00:00:50,827
on Toledo House
Flip Experience."
20
00:00:51,528 --> 00:00:53,530
You know how gals go to New York
21
00:00:53,630 --> 00:00:55,231
to do the Sex and
the City tours?
22
00:00:55,332 --> 00:00:58,234
So, it's gonna be exactly like
that, except we're going to be
23
00:00:58,335 --> 00:01:02,305
"remodeling" a house
in the Midwest.
24
00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:04,741
We're gonna have so much fun.
25
00:01:04,841 --> 00:01:06,276
Placing succulents in corners,
26
00:01:06,377 --> 00:01:09,646
and choosing between zebra
and giraffe wallpaper.
27
00:01:09,746 --> 00:01:13,750
And screwing in Edison light
bulbs while drinking mimosas.
28
00:01:13,850 --> 00:01:16,653
So you changed the
entire weekend on a whim?
29
00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:18,889
Classic Carly.
30
00:01:19,756 --> 00:01:23,894
Don't worry. I approved Carly's
itinerary, which means a lot
31
00:01:23,994 --> 00:01:26,029
because I'm the queen
of bachelorette parties.
32
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,898
You've been a maid
of honor before?
33
00:01:27,998 --> 00:01:31,435
14 times. All featured in
Bachelorette Party magazine.
34
00:01:31,535 --> 00:01:32,869
Self-published.
35
00:01:34,905 --> 00:01:36,540
Hey. Did you tell her?
36
00:01:36,639 --> 00:01:38,208
Did you tell her?
Did she freak out?
37
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:40,210
Did she... flip?
38
00:01:41,276 --> 00:01:42,779
Yoo-hoo, Freddie, a word?
39
00:01:42,879 --> 00:01:45,215
Hey, um, question.
40
00:01:46,115 --> 00:01:48,251
When you hear "Classic Carly"...
41
00:01:48,351 --> 00:01:50,853
Oh, no. My mom said
"Classic Carly"?
42
00:01:50,954 --> 00:01:52,722
Why, what does it mean?
43
00:01:52,823 --> 00:01:55,058
My mom kind of
thinks that you're...
44
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:56,969
impulsive, unreliable,
disrespectful to elders,
45
00:01:56,993 --> 00:01:58,728
and prone to
hijacking a weekend.
46
00:01:58,829 --> 00:02:00,230
Is that all?
47
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,298
No. She also thinks
you have poor posture.
48
00:02:02,399 --> 00:02:03,734
But that's all.
49
00:02:04,835 --> 00:02:06,903
I am going to prove
to her this weekend
50
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,172
that I am respectful, reliable,
51
00:02:09,272 --> 00:02:11,575
and that I can
stand up straight.
52
00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:13,176
God, my spine burns.
53
00:02:13,944 --> 00:02:16,846
Don't worry, okay?
She's gonna love it.
54
00:02:16,947 --> 00:02:19,550
Have fun. I love you.
55
00:02:19,650 --> 00:02:21,251
And I love you, Millicent.
56
00:02:22,453 --> 00:02:24,387
- Millicent?
- Bye.
57
00:02:24,488 --> 00:02:26,089
Fredward, I just...
58
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:27,090
Bye, Danica.
59
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:29,025
- Take care, Harps.
- Oh.
60
00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:32,663
And now a goodbye to the one
I'm going to miss the most...
61
00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:34,264
Ooh.
62
00:02:34,364 --> 00:02:35,365
Carly.
63
00:02:35,466 --> 00:02:37,801
(laughing)
64
00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:40,904
Sorry, what did you
want to tell me, Mom?
65
00:02:41,004 --> 00:02:42,439
I don't recall.
66
00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:44,841
Then it must not have
been important. (chuckles)
67
00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:46,443
See ya, Mama. Hang loose.
68
00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:48,579
Hang looser.
69
00:02:48,679 --> 00:02:50,714
(sighs)
70
00:02:50,814 --> 00:02:52,883
Classic Carly.
71
00:02:57,053 --> 00:02:58,522
? I know ?
72
00:02:58,622 --> 00:03:00,156
? You see ?
73
00:03:00,256 --> 00:03:02,225
? Somehow the world
will change for me ?
74
00:03:02,325 --> 00:03:05,496
? And be so wonderful ?
75
00:03:05,596 --> 00:03:09,165
? So wake up the
members of my nation ?
76
00:03:09,265 --> 00:03:11,367
? It's your time to be ?
77
00:03:11,468 --> 00:03:14,471
? There's no chance
unless you take one ?
78
00:03:14,571 --> 00:03:16,807
? And the time to see
the brighter side ?
79
00:03:16,907 --> 00:03:20,376
? Of every situation ?
80
00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,345
? Some things are meant to be ?
81
00:03:22,445 --> 00:03:27,183
? So give your best and
leave the rest to me. ?
82
00:03:27,283 --> 00:03:31,254
? ?
83
00:03:32,221 --> 00:03:34,891
How fun is flying Southwest?
84
00:03:34,991 --> 00:03:37,794
You never know where
you're gonna sit.
85
00:03:37,894 --> 00:03:41,064
And yet somehow I
ended up next to you.
86
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:44,501
Is this a murder house?
87
00:03:44,601 --> 00:03:45,902
(all scream)
88
00:03:46,002 --> 00:03:48,971
(singsongy): There was
never a conviction.
89
00:03:49,072 --> 00:03:55,345
Hi. So, the brochure made
it seem less, um, meth-y?
90
00:03:56,613 --> 00:03:58,148
And I'm very dependable,
91
00:03:58,248 --> 00:04:01,384
so I wouldn't have
booked something meth-y.
92
00:04:01,484 --> 00:04:05,088
You're saying meth a lot.
Let me see your teeth.
93
00:04:06,489 --> 00:04:07,858
Welcome, ladies.
94
00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:10,894
I'm Emily Haines, and
I'm honored you booked
95
00:04:10,994 --> 00:04:15,732
the "Party Like They Do on
Toledo House Flip Experience."
96
00:04:15,832 --> 00:04:18,468
Rehabbing a home is
good for the soul.
97
00:04:18,569 --> 00:04:19,969
Talk to Carly about rehab,
98
00:04:20,070 --> 00:04:22,539
she's the one who's
babbling on about meth.
99
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,841
This is the bride, Marissa.
100
00:04:24,941 --> 00:04:26,342
I'm the maid of honor.
101
00:04:26,442 --> 00:04:27,978
One would think I
would've been the one
102
00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,488
to pick what we're
doing this weekend,
103
00:04:29,512 --> 00:04:30,881
but one would be wrong.
104
00:04:32,182 --> 00:04:34,384
Now, I just need one
member of the group
105
00:04:34,484 --> 00:04:36,553
to sign here so we
can get started.
106
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:40,724
I know it's called "Party Like
They Do on Toledo House Flip,"
107
00:04:40,824 --> 00:04:42,793
but it's strange
because it seems like
108
00:04:42,893 --> 00:04:45,862
we're about to be
doing actual labor?
109
00:04:45,962 --> 00:04:49,165
Relax, it's all part
of the experience.
110
00:04:49,265 --> 00:04:53,737
Plus, you get to wear jumpsuits!
111
00:04:53,837 --> 00:04:55,271
Oh, good.
112
00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:58,875
Manual labor and you're making
it harder for me to pee.
113
00:04:58,975 --> 00:05:03,146
Never underestimate the power
of women in pink jumpsuits.
114
00:05:03,246 --> 00:05:04,781
Amen.
115
00:05:04,881 --> 00:05:07,550
Now, hand over your phones.
116
00:05:07,651 --> 00:05:09,886
When we unplug from the world,
117
00:05:09,986 --> 00:05:11,755
we plug in with each other.
118
00:05:11,855 --> 00:05:13,990
Ooh, plug language.
119
00:05:14,691 --> 00:05:16,235
I definitely want to
plug in with y'all.
120
00:05:16,259 --> 00:05:19,229
So, hand them over, ladies.
121
00:05:21,097 --> 00:05:25,468
Where we're going,
we don't need phones.
122
00:05:25,568 --> 00:05:27,771
It's weird. For someone
so claustrophobic,
123
00:05:27,871 --> 00:05:31,141
you sure do enjoy invading
others' personal space.
124
00:05:32,809 --> 00:05:34,845
? ?
125
00:05:36,246 --> 00:05:38,581
4.2% ABV?
126
00:05:38,682 --> 00:05:40,617
Well, I guess it is a Saturday.
127
00:05:40,717 --> 00:05:41,718
Oh!
128
00:05:41,818 --> 00:05:42,853
- Aah!
- Lewbert.
129
00:05:42,953 --> 00:05:44,354
What the hell are you doing?
130
00:05:44,454 --> 00:05:46,890
Well, Marissa said you'd
throw me a bachelor party.
131
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,291
Didn't she tell you?
132
00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,926
(sighs) I think she tried to.
133
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:52,829
What's in the growler?
134
00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:54,564
Oh, a family recipe:
135
00:05:54,665 --> 00:05:55,932
Lewb Juice.
136
00:05:56,032 --> 00:05:57,133
It's a delicious libation
137
00:05:57,233 --> 00:06:00,536
and a darn strong
foot exfoliant.
138
00:06:00,637 --> 00:06:01,905
Shall I pour?
139
00:06:02,005 --> 00:06:04,808
That's gross and I
don't want to do this
140
00:06:04,908 --> 00:06:06,677
and I'm mad at my mom now.
141
00:06:06,777 --> 00:06:08,111
Okay. You know,
142
00:06:08,211 --> 00:06:09,722
Marissa said your
unreliable girlfriend
143
00:06:09,746 --> 00:06:11,748
would rub off on you.
144
00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:13,784
Classic Carly.
145
00:06:13,884 --> 00:06:17,253
Wait. Fine. I'll
give you a party.
146
00:06:17,353 --> 00:06:18,922
Who do you want me to invite?
147
00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:20,256
(grunting)
148
00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:23,894
(phone ringing)
149
00:06:25,962 --> 00:06:27,664
Hello?
150
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:29,532
Hey, man, you busy?
151
00:06:29,632 --> 00:06:31,401
No, what's up?
152
00:06:31,501 --> 00:06:33,203
Apparently, my mom
promised Lewbert
153
00:06:33,303 --> 00:06:35,105
I would throw him a
bachelor party tonight.
154
00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:36,807
Oh, hey, hey, can I invite Paul?
155
00:06:36,907 --> 00:06:39,309
He seems like somebody I can
pretend to like IPAs with.
156
00:06:39,409 --> 00:06:42,612
Yeah, sure, he's an
additional human male.
157
00:06:42,713 --> 00:06:45,181
In five, four, three...
158
00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:49,519
? This is The Paul
Show, and I am Paul ?
159
00:06:49,619 --> 00:06:50,486
(phone ringing)
160
00:06:50,586 --> 00:06:52,522
Damn it, when is it my turn?
161
00:06:53,623 --> 00:06:57,961
You've got Paul, manager,
impresario, size 15 shoe.
162
00:06:58,061 --> 00:07:00,330
Oh, yeah, we're
gonna be friends.
163
00:07:00,430 --> 00:07:03,033
Oh, hey, what's up,
man? It's Spencer Shay.
164
00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:06,703
Uh, yeah, I was just wondering,
uh, you into bachelor parties?
165
00:07:06,803 --> 00:07:08,839
Oh, I'm not into
bachelor parties.
166
00:07:08,939 --> 00:07:11,407
I'm the king of
bachelor parties.
167
00:07:11,507 --> 00:07:13,609
How soon can you
be in my apartment?
168
00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:15,378
Oh, an hour. I-I'm upstairs
169
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:18,548
but I got to go home
and get my poppers.
170
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,383
Zut alors.
171
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:24,120
I didn't realize this
would be so physical.
172
00:07:24,220 --> 00:07:26,689
It's not so bad.
173
00:07:26,790 --> 00:07:30,260
Normally, people pay $50
to do hungover Pilates.
174
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,329
This is just like that,
only with more tetanus.
175
00:07:33,429 --> 00:07:37,300
If I get tetanus,
can I sit down?
176
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,637
You know what?
Let's play a game.
177
00:07:43,606 --> 00:07:49,379
And the name of the game
that I'm about to say is...
178
00:07:50,313 --> 00:07:52,582
"Truth or Hammer!"
179
00:07:52,682 --> 00:07:56,887
Oh, yes. The famous party
game that everyone knows.
180
00:07:56,987 --> 00:08:03,059
Truth or Hammer is a very
real game that exists...
181
00:08:03,159 --> 00:08:08,731
where we go around and ask each
other penetrating questions.
182
00:08:08,832 --> 00:08:12,468
And if anyone doesn't
want to answer,
183
00:08:12,568 --> 00:08:17,073
then it's hammer time. (laughs)
184
00:08:17,173 --> 00:08:20,410
Wow, that actually
kind of made sense.
185
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:23,847
And as Bachelorette
Party Tsarina,
186
00:08:23,947 --> 00:08:28,618
I brought Mrs. B's favorite
libation. Grenadine!
187
00:08:28,718 --> 00:08:29,920
(cheering)
188
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:33,989
Shots! Shots!
Non-alcoholic shots!
189
00:08:34,090 --> 00:08:36,658
Wow, is this party
iconic or what?
190
00:08:36,758 --> 00:08:42,232
Danica, have you ever flirted
with a man you knew was taken?
191
00:08:42,331 --> 00:08:45,201
Oui oui. But the French
never kiss and tell.
192
00:08:45,301 --> 00:08:47,203
You're from Idaho.
193
00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:49,405
I guess it's hammer time.
194
00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:51,041
(cheering)
195
00:08:53,944 --> 00:08:56,446
(cheering)
196
00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:00,383
Okay. Harper!
197
00:09:03,353 --> 00:09:06,056
Who is your best kiss?
198
00:09:06,156 --> 00:09:10,927
Ooh, you want me to choose
between 100... lies... 300 people?
199
00:09:11,027 --> 00:09:12,795
It's hammer time!
200
00:09:12,896 --> 00:09:14,831
(cheering)
201
00:09:16,532 --> 00:09:18,734
(cheering)
202
00:09:18,835 --> 00:09:20,703
Okay, Carly's turn.
203
00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:23,739
What's the most romantic place
you've been with Freddie?
204
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,275
- (growls)
- Ooh.
205
00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,078
Oh. I know where
it's going to be.
206
00:09:28,178 --> 00:09:29,479
(snarls)
207
00:09:29,579 --> 00:09:32,515
Freddie's taking me
on a two-day cruise...
208
00:09:32,615 --> 00:09:33,749
(growls)
209
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:34,951
to Jamaica...
210
00:09:35,051 --> 00:09:36,052
(yells)
211
00:09:36,152 --> 00:09:37,954
on the second Sunday in May.
212
00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:40,056
Mother's Day weekend?!
213
00:09:40,156 --> 00:09:41,757
(screaming)
214
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,429
Why wasn't I invited?
215
00:09:46,529 --> 00:09:49,699
Because that would be weird.
216
00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:52,002
Oh, no. Not weird.
217
00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:54,704
No, that's so normal.
218
00:09:54,804 --> 00:09:56,406
Come with, girlfriend.
219
00:09:56,506 --> 00:09:58,374
We can even set up
a cot in the cabin.
220
00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:02,278
- (growls)
- That I will be sleeping on.
221
00:10:02,378 --> 00:10:05,315
Marissa, let's put
down the hammer.
222
00:10:05,415 --> 00:10:07,550
You're not storming
the Bastille.
223
00:10:09,352 --> 00:10:11,421
I want to go home.
224
00:10:11,521 --> 00:10:12,889
(sobbing)
225
00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:17,860
Well, you tried, Carly.
Poorly, but you tried.
226
00:10:17,961 --> 00:10:20,363
Ah, stay the course.
227
00:10:20,463 --> 00:10:22,465
This is a part of every
bachelorette party:
228
00:10:22,565 --> 00:10:25,568
the bride must cry for
no rhyme or reason.
229
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:27,837
You're doing great, sweetie.
230
00:10:27,938 --> 00:10:30,540
Screw this party.
231
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,209
I just wanted Mrs. B to like me.
232
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,712
Ladies, let's go.
233
00:10:38,014 --> 00:10:38,915
Oh, hey, girl.
234
00:10:39,015 --> 00:10:40,416
(screams)
235
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,385
Where do you think you're going?
236
00:10:42,485 --> 00:10:44,354
You're trapped.
237
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:53,829
- Trapped?
- Perhaps I was being a dot dramatic.
238
00:10:53,930 --> 00:10:55,431
You can leave anytime.
239
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:56,967
Once the house is flipped.
240
00:10:57,067 --> 00:10:58,533
It's all explained here.
241
00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:02,072
That waiver? But none of
us signed it except Carly.
242
00:11:02,172 --> 00:11:05,041
She signed for your
entire group unilaterally.
243
00:11:05,942 --> 00:11:08,378
- Classic Carly.
- Classic Carly.
244
00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:09,812
So now I'm what?
245
00:11:09,912 --> 00:11:12,182
Someone who signs waivers
on behalf of a group?
246
00:11:12,282 --> 00:11:13,516
Yup.
247
00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:15,518
It's not a waiver.
248
00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:16,987
It's an employment contract.
249
00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:21,924
And that HGTV B-I-T-C-H
has our phones.
250
00:11:22,025 --> 00:11:23,960
I say we smash that case.
251
00:11:24,060 --> 00:11:25,028
EMILY: Go ahead.
252
00:11:25,128 --> 00:11:26,997
My fianc� made this lockbox,
253
00:11:27,097 --> 00:11:29,499
and he designed the
deathtraps for the movie Saw.
254
00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:33,869
Ladies, you're just contracted
construction workers
255
00:11:33,970 --> 00:11:36,906
until the home is
done. Simple pimple.
256
00:11:37,007 --> 00:11:39,342
This contract doesn't
include a minor's permit.
257
00:11:39,442 --> 00:11:41,744
I'm well-versed in
Ohio's child labor laws.
258
00:11:41,844 --> 00:11:45,515
Guess that makes
you my co-captain.
259
00:11:45,615 --> 00:11:46,949
You up for delineating tasks
260
00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:49,085
while drinking cold
sparkling apple cider?
261
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,720
Keep the meaningless title.
262
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:52,788
I accept the power
and the juice.
263
00:11:52,888 --> 00:11:54,390
How long will this take?
264
00:11:54,490 --> 00:11:58,361
I left my mouse Julien with
a bowl of food and a note.
265
00:11:58,461 --> 00:12:00,430
That mouse is dead.
266
00:12:01,497 --> 00:12:04,567
I had a party flip
a house in two days.
267
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:06,702
Well, a 500-square-foot studio.
268
00:12:06,802 --> 00:12:11,474
Never underestimate the power
of women in pink jumpsuits.
269
00:12:11,574 --> 00:12:13,443
Don't worry, we've got this.
270
00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:15,478
Because we, including me,
271
00:12:15,578 --> 00:12:19,015
are dependable, decisive,
straight-spined gals.
272
00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:21,184
Oh, has anyone been up
to the second floor?
273
00:12:21,284 --> 00:12:23,653
ALL: There's a second floor?
274
00:12:24,587 --> 00:12:29,025
Oh, I can't believe you went
to all this trouble for me.
275
00:12:29,125 --> 00:12:32,262
Well, a boy's best
friend is his mother.
276
00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,762
By the way, have
you heard from her?
277
00:12:33,829 --> 00:12:35,298
Oh, not a peep.
278
00:12:35,398 --> 00:12:38,234
Although, sometimes Marissa
pretends to go missing.
279
00:12:38,334 --> 00:12:42,004
It's sort of an elaborate
psychosexual prank. You see...
280
00:12:42,105 --> 00:12:44,774
Now! For the love of God, now!
281
00:12:44,874 --> 00:12:46,276
? ?
282
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:49,112
Lock the doors and
lower the blinds!
283
00:12:49,212 --> 00:12:53,383
It's bachelor party time!
284
00:12:53,483 --> 00:12:55,851
(whooping)
285
00:12:55,951 --> 00:13:00,223
Oh, it's happening!
I'm the bachie!
286
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,093
ALL (chanting):
Bachie! Bachie! Bachie!
287
00:13:03,193 --> 00:13:05,395
(chanting continues)
288
00:13:05,495 --> 00:13:06,862
(yelling)
289
00:13:06,962 --> 00:13:08,764
All my friends are here!
290
00:13:08,864 --> 00:13:11,434
Best bachelor party ever!
291
00:13:11,534 --> 00:13:13,669
(cheering)
292
00:13:13,769 --> 00:13:15,671
So...
293
00:13:15,771 --> 00:13:17,573
what's next?
294
00:13:17,673 --> 00:13:19,209
Next?
295
00:13:20,243 --> 00:13:21,611
This is the thing.
296
00:13:21,711 --> 00:13:23,346
Or...
297
00:13:24,614 --> 00:13:26,482
Lewb Juice?
298
00:13:27,317 --> 00:13:30,953
So, it's a drink and
a foot exfoliant?
299
00:13:31,754 --> 00:13:33,332
You know, I thought Lewb
Juice would taste terrible
300
00:13:33,356 --> 00:13:37,493
because the name, like
Lewbert, is disgusting.
301
00:13:38,628 --> 00:13:40,096
- Lewbert is disgusting.
- Yeah.
302
00:13:40,196 --> 00:13:41,531
You are disgusting.
303
00:13:42,332 --> 00:13:44,700
Does Lewb Juice make you mean?
304
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,202
No, it just makes you honest.
305
00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:47,803
Dissolves the skin off your feet
306
00:13:47,903 --> 00:13:49,872
and the filter off your brain.
307
00:13:49,972 --> 00:13:51,374
Go ahead, try to lie.
308
00:13:51,474 --> 00:13:54,944
I like Ben Affleck's back
tattoo. I think it's hip.
309
00:13:55,044 --> 00:13:56,179
(gasps)
310
00:13:56,279 --> 00:13:58,314
That's incredible.
311
00:13:58,414 --> 00:14:00,015
I wish you weren't
marrying my mother.
312
00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:01,984
I wish you weren't her son.
313
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:03,986
Sometimes I wonder how far
314
00:14:04,086 --> 00:14:05,621
I can take this
lovable goofball thing.
315
00:14:05,721 --> 00:14:07,056
Will I ever have to grow up?
316
00:14:07,157 --> 00:14:08,991
If I did, I'd want
to be like you.
317
00:14:09,091 --> 00:14:11,361
Please, you're the cool
one, Captain Charisma.
318
00:14:11,461 --> 00:14:12,528
Oh.
319
00:14:12,628 --> 00:14:13,663
(phone chimes)
320
00:14:14,630 --> 00:14:15,865
Oh, my God, no.
321
00:14:15,965 --> 00:14:17,509
Is it that bitch Trina
from poison control?
322
00:14:17,533 --> 00:14:19,135
She said I could
still drink Lewb Juice
323
00:14:19,235 --> 00:14:21,003
as long as I didn't sell it!
324
00:14:21,103 --> 00:14:23,339
Guys, this is an
emergency. We got to go.
325
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:25,841
- Oh, God!
- My feet!
326
00:14:25,941 --> 00:14:26,842
- My feet!
- It burns!
327
00:14:26,942 --> 00:14:28,911
I have friends.
328
00:14:29,011 --> 00:14:30,680
(groaning)
329
00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:36,452
Carly, you really know how
to plan a bachelorette party.
330
00:14:37,620 --> 00:14:40,556
Danica, when you're done with
the wall, paint my nails.
331
00:14:40,656 --> 00:14:42,692
(sobbing)
332
00:14:42,792 --> 00:14:44,160
Hey, hey.
333
00:14:44,260 --> 00:14:45,595
At least the hard hats are pink.
334
00:14:45,695 --> 00:14:47,029
(whirring)
335
00:14:48,164 --> 00:14:50,300
Okay, ladies, quick vibe check.
336
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,736
The vibe? It's giving "hostage."
337
00:14:53,836 --> 00:14:56,906
Then it's time for Stockholm
Syndrome because I'm thinking
338
00:14:57,006 --> 00:14:59,509
Scandinavian modern
for these floors.
339
00:14:59,609 --> 00:15:02,512
Then we need to go over a
long list of other changes.
340
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:06,716
Ugh, changes? Why can't
things just stay the same?
341
00:15:06,816 --> 00:15:10,486
Same house, same walls, same
little boy who kisses me
342
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:15,291
on the cheek before anyone
else when saying goodbye!
343
00:15:15,391 --> 00:15:18,628
Oh, this is about Freddie.
344
00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:20,162
Who's Freddie again?
345
00:15:20,263 --> 00:15:22,765
It's Carly's boyfriend
and Millicent's dad.
346
00:15:22,865 --> 00:15:26,536
He was my son first!
347
00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,137
(yells)
348
00:15:29,071 --> 00:15:31,207
- Mrs. B, wait!
- No, no.
349
00:15:31,307 --> 00:15:33,209
This is a part of it.
350
00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:37,012
Phase one, shots. Phase two,
the bride wants to leave.
351
00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,324
Phase three, the coolest person
352
00:15:38,348 --> 00:15:39,649
at the party calms
everyone down.
353
00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:41,251
That's what's
currently happening.
354
00:15:41,351 --> 00:15:43,953
MRS. BENSON:
Screw you, ladies!
355
00:15:44,053 --> 00:15:45,788
(cackling)
356
00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:48,891
Mrs. Benson, where are you?
357
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:50,660
You're kind of freaking us out.
358
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,696
- (staple gun clacking)
- I'm in the walls, suckas!
359
00:15:53,796 --> 00:15:57,166
This is not a known phase.
360
00:16:03,406 --> 00:16:05,708
I can't sell this house
with a woman in the wall.
361
00:16:05,808 --> 00:16:06,976
That's a $20,000 markdown.
362
00:16:07,076 --> 00:16:09,412
Wait, I thought you
were an event planner.
363
00:16:09,512 --> 00:16:11,013
You're also the realtor?
364
00:16:11,113 --> 00:16:14,116
Damn, girl, you got
capitalism figured out.
365
00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:15,851
If any of you ever
want to leave,
366
00:16:15,951 --> 00:16:18,153
you better get her out of there.
367
00:16:18,954 --> 00:16:20,823
Now it looks like we're
talking to something
368
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:22,358
and not an actual wall.
369
00:16:22,458 --> 00:16:25,160
Mrs. B, I know you can hear me.
370
00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:27,597
MRS. BENSON: I can't
hear you, Carly.
371
00:16:27,697 --> 00:16:29,699
We have to get you out of there.
372
00:16:29,799 --> 00:16:32,134
Leave me be. This
is my safe space.
373
00:16:32,234 --> 00:16:34,937
Do most safe spaces
have asbestos?
374
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,707
- Hey.
- We're here!
375
00:16:41,711 --> 00:16:43,078
You came to rescue us?
376
00:16:43,178 --> 00:16:44,414
Yes, we did.
377
00:16:44,514 --> 00:16:46,349
Like four gallant kni-aah!
378
00:16:46,449 --> 00:16:47,517
(screaming)
379
00:16:47,617 --> 00:16:50,119
What in God's name is happening?
380
00:16:50,886 --> 00:16:52,322
We've been drinking Lewb Juice.
381
00:16:52,422 --> 00:16:55,358
It's a foot exfoliant,
which is why we can't walk.
382
00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:57,760
It's also a truth serum,
383
00:16:57,860 --> 00:16:59,929
which is why I want one of
those jumpsuits in an XL
384
00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:02,064
so I can feel like I belong.
385
00:17:02,164 --> 00:17:03,433
Oh!
386
00:17:04,667 --> 00:17:05,735
Where's my mom?
387
00:17:05,835 --> 00:17:07,370
Funny story, actually.
388
00:17:07,470 --> 00:17:10,906
Um, your mother hates me
and this weekend so much
389
00:17:11,005 --> 00:17:13,376
that she is... in the walls.
390
00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:15,945
Classic Mommy.
391
00:17:16,044 --> 00:17:17,580
All right, I'll get her out.
392
00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:18,848
(yells)
393
00:17:18,947 --> 00:17:21,351
(sobbing) I can't do this.
394
00:17:21,451 --> 00:17:24,720
Well, then I have no choice.
395
00:17:24,820 --> 00:17:27,790
Mrs. Benson, I'm coming for you!
396
00:17:27,889 --> 00:17:29,058
You can depend on me!
397
00:17:29,158 --> 00:17:32,395
MRS. BENSON: I can
hear you slouching.
398
00:17:33,529 --> 00:17:34,730
Oh, the crawlspace.
399
00:17:34,830 --> 00:17:36,065
Carly, your claustrophobia.
400
00:17:36,165 --> 00:17:39,335
Grease up my shoulders,
I am going in.
401
00:17:40,636 --> 00:17:43,873
(hyperventilating)
402
00:17:48,444 --> 00:17:51,714
Come to Toledo, get
together, flip a house,
403
00:17:51,814 --> 00:17:54,016
have a few laughs...
404
00:17:55,351 --> 00:17:58,087
Bruce Willis, you damn
national treasure,
405
00:17:58,187 --> 00:18:02,224
how the hell did you
make it look so easy?
406
00:18:02,324 --> 00:18:04,360
(moaning)
407
00:18:05,395 --> 00:18:06,462
Aah!
408
00:18:06,562 --> 00:18:09,331
Oh, yippee-ki-yay,
Freddie's mother.
409
00:18:09,432 --> 00:18:11,701
Thank God you're okay!
410
00:18:11,801 --> 00:18:14,570
Oh, look. I went
into my safe space,
411
00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:16,739
and you ran in and took over.
412
00:18:16,839 --> 00:18:18,774
Classic Carly.
413
00:18:18,874 --> 00:18:20,576
Enough.
414
00:18:20,676 --> 00:18:22,845
We both love Freddie so much.
415
00:18:22,945 --> 00:18:24,847
We should be on the same team.
416
00:18:24,947 --> 00:18:27,483
Freddie and I were a team.
417
00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:28,751
But ever since you showed up,
418
00:18:28,851 --> 00:18:30,453
it's like he put
me on the bench.
419
00:18:30,553 --> 00:18:32,488
I hate sports.
420
00:18:34,890 --> 00:18:37,359
I never really looked
at it that way.
421
00:18:37,460 --> 00:18:38,360
(loud thumping)
422
00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:40,496
Carly, that's so loud.
423
00:18:41,497 --> 00:18:44,700
Marissa! I will get
you out of there!
424
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:45,868
I see a saw.
425
00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:48,871
Could someone saw off my feet?!
426
00:18:48,971 --> 00:18:50,640
How did you guys find us?
427
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:52,274
I texted Dad.
428
00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:54,614
When Emily wasn't looking, I
took a crack at her lockbox.
429
00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:57,580
The code was 1234.
430
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,248
Simple pimple indeed.
431
00:19:00,315 --> 00:19:02,084
Wait, you got to our phones?
432
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:03,486
I could've called Julien
433
00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:05,621
and told him how to
get a bottle of water.
434
00:19:05,721 --> 00:19:07,490
Don't challenge my methods.
435
00:19:07,590 --> 00:19:08,491
I'm the hero.
436
00:19:08,591 --> 00:19:12,194
I'm the real hero!
437
00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:18,601
I bet you hate me
now more than ever.
438
00:19:18,701 --> 00:19:20,169
I don't hate you, Carly.
439
00:19:20,269 --> 00:19:24,940
I just hate change, especially
when it comes to Freddie.
440
00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:27,376
Also, I truly hate your posture.
441
00:19:27,477 --> 00:19:32,414
But I can't believe you
crawled into the wall for me.
442
00:19:32,515 --> 00:19:34,216
Both because of
your claustrophobia
443
00:19:34,316 --> 00:19:37,219
and your obvious
character flaws.
444
00:19:38,387 --> 00:19:41,491
Of course I did. I
love Team Benson.
445
00:19:41,591 --> 00:19:44,560
And I'm always going to be
your biggest cheerleader.
446
00:19:45,595 --> 00:19:49,699
And maybe someday,
I'll be a Benson, too.
447
00:19:49,799 --> 00:19:51,467
- Mm.
- Sorry.
448
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,836
Yeah, I-I shouldn't
have said that.
449
00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:55,838
Could you just keep
that between us?
450
00:19:55,938 --> 00:19:58,173
What happens in the
wall stays in the wall.
451
00:19:58,273 --> 00:20:00,876
But if you think he's marrying
Little Miss Scoliosis,
452
00:20:00,976 --> 00:20:03,679
you've had a bit
too much grenadine.
453
00:20:03,779 --> 00:20:06,015
Yeah, let's get out of here.
454
00:20:07,349 --> 00:20:10,119
I think we've had enough truth.
455
00:20:10,219 --> 00:20:13,322
How about some hammer?
456
00:20:16,892 --> 00:20:18,994
(grunting)
457
00:20:20,796 --> 00:20:23,398
Here's Mommy!
458
00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:25,467
(crashing)
459
00:20:27,970 --> 00:20:29,304
Hey!
460
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:33,475
Your girlfriend faced her
worst fears to rescue me.
461
00:20:33,576 --> 00:20:35,477
Classic Carly.
462
00:20:35,578 --> 00:20:38,480
Oh, my favorite
girls, get in here.
463
00:20:38,581 --> 00:20:39,849
Carly, Mom, Millicent!
464
00:20:39,949 --> 00:20:41,584
I'm a'ight.
465
00:20:41,684 --> 00:20:43,252
Well, ladies,
466
00:20:43,352 --> 00:20:45,420
this house looks even worse
than when you started.
467
00:20:45,521 --> 00:20:47,322
I'm glad you found a
passel of men to help,
468
00:20:47,422 --> 00:20:49,759
because at the
pace you're going,
469
00:20:49,859 --> 00:20:51,093
you'll be in Ohio for months
470
00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:53,462
to fulfill the terms
of your contract.
471
00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:55,003
I'd like to talk
about your little...
472
00:20:55,030 --> 00:20:56,766
employment contract.
473
00:20:56,866 --> 00:21:00,035
Oh, snap, it's his lawyer voice.
474
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:03,673
I perused your contract
and it fails to address
475
00:21:03,773 --> 00:21:07,009
the fact that Ohio is an
at-will employment state.
476
00:21:07,109 --> 00:21:08,678
- But they signed...
- Which means...
477
00:21:08,778 --> 00:21:12,648
an employee may quit their job
at any time for any reason.
478
00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:15,751
Regardless of a contact.
479
00:21:15,851 --> 00:21:17,620
Tell her, Pop Pop.
480
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,591
So, unless you'd like to face
charges of kidnapping, fraud,
481
00:21:21,691 --> 00:21:24,994
then I suggest you refund
these ladies' money
482
00:21:25,094 --> 00:21:26,929
and never speak of this again.
483
00:21:27,763 --> 00:21:28,998
(yelps)
484
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,735
(cheering)
485
00:21:32,835 --> 00:21:34,670
Yeah!
486
00:21:34,770 --> 00:21:37,239
The bride cried,
we took shots...
487
00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:40,042
I came to rescue you
and you rescued my mom.
488
00:21:40,142 --> 00:21:41,711
Bruce Willis could never.
489
00:21:41,811 --> 00:21:42,878
Mm.
490
00:21:42,978 --> 00:21:45,380
Ooh, and someone made out.
491
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,218
With their boyfriend. Still
counts. We did it, Joe.
492
00:21:49,318 --> 00:21:50,786
Ooh!
493
00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:52,688
? ?
494
00:21:52,788 --> 00:21:55,057
- ? Y'all ready for this ?
- Oh, my God!
495
00:21:55,157 --> 00:21:56,792
(screaming)
496
00:21:56,892 --> 00:21:59,795
? ?
497
00:22:01,096 --> 00:22:08,237
? This is The Paul
Show and I am Paul ?
498
00:22:08,337 --> 00:22:09,772
Welcome back to Paul or Nothing.
499
00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:12,808
Today, respected doorman-
turned-lawyer Lewbert Sline
500
00:22:12,908 --> 00:22:15,410
is gonna show us how to
make his famous Lewb Juice.
501
00:22:15,510 --> 00:22:19,649
Step one. Warm cough syrup,
502
00:22:19,749 --> 00:22:24,286
boiled in the mouth
of an active volcano.
503
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:29,759
Step two. Some nice,
expired nut milk.
504
00:22:29,859 --> 00:22:32,795
And I don't mean almonds.
505
00:22:32,895 --> 00:22:35,230
That's my man.
506
00:22:36,365 --> 00:22:38,500
You're welcome, Internet.
507
00:22:44,039 --> 00:22:46,075
? ?
508
00:23:08,063 --> 00:23:09,965
Ooh!
509
00:23:10,065 --> 00:23:12,067
? ?
510
00:23:12,117 --> 00:23:16,667
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