Original subtitles

? Who's the improbable duo that you heard about?

? Faster than a scooter stronger than metal

? Who's the little girl and her domesticated rodent?

? Who's still standing when you see the dust settle?

? It's Hamster Hamster, Hamster

? Hamster and Gretel

? If they can't do it then nobody can

? Hamster, Hamster, Hamster

? Hamster and Gretel

? There's also Kevin in the minivan ?

? The beach is awesome The beach is cool

? It's so much better than riding on a mule ?

We totally just wrote that song.

I smell a record deal. Nope.

I'm gonna keep my day job

of fighting crime and saving the world.

BAILEY: I can't wait to see

all your superpowers up close.

What are some of the coolest things you can do?

Well, aside from flying, incredible strength and speed,

heat vision and hero hunches...

Being super annoying.

No, that's yours, Kevin.

Ooh, I just discovered a new superpower.

Insults bounce off of me.

What about making things go in slow motion

or shape shifting or turning yourself into a kitten?

I have no idea.

The aliens didn't give us a list of powers,

but occasionally we discover new ones.

Ooh!

Let's discover some new ones today at the beach.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No one is doing any of that today.

Superpowers have to be used responsibly.

And as fun as it is,

using your powers for frivolous stuff

or just to show off is dangerous.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Colonel Buzz Kill.

Lieutenant Downer. Brigadier Boring.

Stop insulting me with military ranks.

(SIGHS) Jeez, there's not a single parking space.

And look, that guy took two spots.

Can you just move that car over a few inches so we can get in?

That's a frivolous use of my powers.

Yep. That was... That was a test, and you passed.

Okay, guys, um, you get out here,

and Hamster and I will park responsibly

and meet you by the lagoon.

You mean Lagoony. Lagoony.

I refuse to name a pond.

Sergeant Stick In The Mud.

Stop it!

I know Kevin would be mad,

but maybe we should try

to discover some really small new powers.

Yeah, puny powers, like can you walk through a wall?

Exactly. Let's try it out. (GRUNTS)

I guess that's a no.

But I can still punch through walls.

Watch this.

Clyde, did you arrange that to distract me?

Yes, I did, Andrew.

But they are two minutes early.

Hey, that was our gig.

Oops. Sorry.

Let's see what else you can do.

? Can you freeze time?

? And stop a clock from ticking?

? Can you taste your favorite ice cream someone else is licking?

? Can you stretch your arms

? And make your legs all rubbery?

? Can you control water?

? Can you control sand?

? Can you levitate a towel or grow an extra hand?

? Can you use your mind

? To sculpt a topiary out of this shrubbery

? Can you grow a fake mustache?

? Can your eyes perform hypnosis?

? If someone sneezes near you can you can give a diagnosis?

? Let's see what you got

? What you got

? Let's try something new

? Even if it's inconsequential

? Let's just see what you can do

? Can you talk to fish or boss seagulls around?

? Let's give it a shot

? I don't wanna put you on the spot

? Let's see what you've got

CHORUS: ? What you've got ? Yeah

? Let's see what you've got

CHORUS: ? What you've got ? All right

? Let's see what you've got ? (BOTH LAUGH)

I can't believe this.

How can there not be a single empty spot?

Parking spaces never come to those who whine.

Nice. Any other pearls of wisdom?

Never eat gas station sushi.

Yeah, but what if you're just...

Never.

GRETEL: Lagoony!

It's freezing!

Maybe you can use your heat vision

to warm up the water a little bit.

I guess I could.

I mean, it's not frivolous

to keep us from freezing to death, right?

Right.

Ah, that's perfect.

You're amazing.

Thanks. I'm pretty proud of myself.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Hey, you guys need to get out of the lagoon! Why?

The malodorous stench moss is overgrowing.

Hurry!

Why do they call it malodorous stench moss?

Ew! Oh!

That's why.

My boss told me the moss only overgrows

when the water heats up too much.

It hasn't been that hot in ten years.

Does it go away when things cool down?

No, it just dries up the lagoon.

It smells like rotten eggs for months.

I've got to call my boss. (SIGHS)

Oh, this is all our fault.

Kevin was right.

Wait. I think there might be something we can do.

Come on.

KEVIN: Oh, this is insane.

You could try whining more.

Maybe that would help.

I bought this for a little light beach reading.

Okay, here we go.

"Malodorous stench moss is the main diet

"of a New Zealand spotted kelp slug."

Good to know, I guess.

All you have to do is fly to New Zealand

and bring back some of those slugs to eat all the moss.

On it.

You better hurry or the stench moss is going to...

I'm back. Man, you are so cool.

Time to give these spotted New Zealand

kelp slugs some dinner.

Or I guess it's breakfast over there.

Hey, Mr. Henderson, it's Gary.

There's an emergen...

Gary, the new lagoon lifeguard you hired.

No, I have red hair.

Anyway, there's a...

Gary. G-A-R-Y.

Ooh, I think it's working.

Actually, the problem seems to have been resolved.

Bye, Mr. Henderson.

They must have been really hungry.

(GASPS) Uh-oh.

BAILEY: I guess they reproduce kind of fast.

Get away from the lagoon!

Slugs! Slugs!

Uh, a little help here?

I'm going to see if there's something

that gets rid of kelp slugs.

Apparently frosted spiked sea urchins from Japan

eat spotted kelp slugs from New Zealand.

Wow, that book is really thorough.

All you gotta do is fly to Japan and pick them up.

I'll just... GRETEL: I'm back.

I'm never going to get used to this.

Wait here.

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Hey, Mr. Henderson, it's Gary again.

The lagoon is totally overflowing with...

Gary, the new lagoon lifeguard.

Bon appetit.

Eat up, little sea urchins.

BOY: Yeah! Whoo!

No, Gary. Freckles.

Bland face, I guess.

Hey, you know what?

Looks like they're gone. Never mind, Mr. Henderson.

Ha-ha! Yeah!

Bye-bye, nasty slugs.

Now, all we gotta do is sit back...

And enjoy the sun.

Hmm?

What is that?

(BLOWS WHISTLE) Get out of the water! Go! Come on! Come on!

Get out of the water!

Hurry! Come on! Come on!

(KIDS SCREAMING)

Uh-oh. We're gonna need a bigger moat.

Time to go.

(GASPS) (PEOPLE SCREAMING)

GARY: Yeah, it's Gary again.

It's like a lagoon apocalypse down here.

You gave me this number during the interview.

Are you kidding me?

How did this happen?

BAILEY: I should have read this all the way through.

"When frosted spiked Japanese sea urchins

"eat spotted New Zealand kelp slugs,

"they grow exponentially."

That is so random.

Actually, it's incredibly specific.

Heat vision doesn't work on them.

Because their spikes dissipate heat.

That's it.

(READING)

Ow! Ow! They're so spiky.

GARY: Lifeguard Station 47 has been compromised.

No, I'm not the guy with the poodle tattoo.

That's Kyle.

(GASPS)

(GRETEL GRUNTING)

(SHRIEKS)

(BOTH YELL)

(SCREAMING)

Thanks. What now?

I kind of hate to say this,

but we gotta find Kevin.

I feel like I'll be in this car for all of eternity

in some form of parking space time loop, circling in circles...

There's a spot. Wait. What?

It's mine! It's all mine!

No!

Excuse me, desolate young man.

Where are the giant sea urchins?

Maybe over there, where the blood-curdling screams are coming from.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING) Forget the parking space. We gotta find the girls.

Gretel, where are you?

We're by the lagoon, surrounded by giant sea urchins.

Okay, we're on our way. (GARY SHRIEKS)

5'8", 122 pounds.

Whoa! Lifeguard.

Hello? Oh, great.

Can you tell us what's going on?

Yes. My boss has no idea who I am,

even though he hired me, like, two days ago.

Am I that forgettable? It's Gary. Gary! Gary!

GRETEL: Kevin.

Gretel! Are you okay?

Are you hurt? (BOTH SCREAM)

I'm sorry, Kevin. I heated up Lagoony with my heat vision.

And that made the malodorous stench moss overgrow.

And it smelled like rotten eggs and took over everything.

So I told her that the spotted New Zealand kelp slugs eat the algae.

So I flew to New Zealand and got some.

But when they ate the algae,

they reproduced like crazy.

And I thought the best solution was to fly to Tokyo

to grab some Japanese frosted spiked sea urchins.

But eating the slugs made them huge.

And now we've ruined the beach and killed Lagoony.

Okay. I have no follow-up questions.

We have to figure out the best way to get rid of the giant sea urchins

before they take over the city.

Hmm.

Hmm. (SCREAMING)

I've got nothing.

(SHRIEKS) What are we gonna do?

Don't worry.

I know a guy.

He knows a guy?

(BELLOWS AND PURRS)

It's a giant sea otter

from earlier in the season.

BAILEY: What season? You know, summer.

(STAMMERS) The season we're in.

It's dinner time!

Of course!

Otters eat sea urchins,

so a giant otter would eat giant sea urchins.

Science is fun.

Unless you're a sea urchin.

Even though no one knows what the heck happened today,

it is safe to say that it's over now.

And if it isn't, well, it otter be.

(LAUGHING) (BURPS)

You're firing me?

How? You don't even know my name.

Ha-ha!

I'm thinking we might have all learned

a powerful lesson today.

Yep, don't trust anything you read in a book.

No. The lesson is to use your powers responsibly and...

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, no, wait!

Oh, come on. (SIGHS)

I guess we should find the bus stop.

Maybe a short flight to the impound lot

is a good use of our powers.

What do you think, Kevin?

It'll take us three hours to get home,

but at least we're doing the responsible thing.

Oh, I taste something.

Oh, Gretel, you can taste

other people's ice cream.

Ugh. It's not ice cream.

Oh, it's gas station sushi.

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