All language subtitles for Colin.From.Accounts.S01E08.1080p.FXTL.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BTN[eztv.re]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,600 Do I seem less intuitive to you? 2 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,720 I just had some Botox in my third eye. 3 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,400 No. 4 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:38,760 Looks better though, doesn't it? 5 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,080 Yeah, Mum. Looks good. 6 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,160 Oh, stop mooning over him, darling. 7 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,600 I'm not mooning over him. I'm mooning over Colin. 8 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,800 That's who I meant! Oh. 9 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:52,360 Darling, you can't have a crippled dog. 10 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,840 You're gonna be a doctor. You'll be knee-deep in cripples. 11 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,800 You need a nice cavoodle or something. 12 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,920 Hypoallergenic. I don't want a cav... 13 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:00,000 Mum! 14 00:01:00,001 --> 00:01:01,920 Mum! 15 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,160 Lee, what are you doing? 16 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,640 Lee! 17 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,800 Just doing my Duolingo, darling. 18 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,560 Well, we can hear you. 19 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:14,720 Is he doing Duolingo, Mum? 20 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:16,120 I don't know. 21 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,480 Oh, he's almost here. 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,120 I can't do this. I can't give him back! 23 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,440 Oh, darling, it'll be OK. 24 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,840 Think of the family who thought they'd lost him forever. 25 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,520 No. I... I don't know, why I called them. 26 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,440 Just because you ran over a dog doesn't mean he's yours. 27 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,200 I didn't run him over. It was Gordon. 28 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,080 But he said you distracted him though. 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,200 What on earth were you doing that was so watchable? 30 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,720 Nothing. 31 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,840 He's just... He's a shit driver. 32 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:46,920 I have to go. 33 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,696 Well, don't I get to say goodbye to dear little Colin? 34 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,536 Dear little Colin? You've never even patted him. 35 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,480 I don't pat animals, darling. I lay hands. 36 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,176 He doesn't need your horse reiki. 37 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,400 Yes, he does. Don't do this. 38 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,000 I have to go. 39 00:02:00,001 --> 00:02:01,840 I have to go. 40 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,040 His sacral region. 41 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:05,840 Of course it's there. 42 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,360 It's the relationship chakra. 43 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,759 Yeah, Mum, that's fuck... that's fucken enough. 44 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,680 OK, wait. Wait. I haven't grounded him yet... 45 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,160 None of us are grounded, Mum. 46 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,600 This guy, what'd he sound like? Was he nice, or... 47 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:59,240 Ahh, he sounded, I don't know, normal. 48 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,720 Was he happy to get his dog back at least? 49 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,360 I don't... I think so. I couldn't really tell. 50 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,560 How's your hand? 51 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,120 Oh, it's ahh, Boxer's fracture. 52 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,960 Oh, fuck. 53 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,360 It doesn't matter. 54 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,480 It does matter. 55 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:25,896 Look, should we call this guy? Yeah. 56 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,280 He's 20 minutes late. Yes, OK. 57 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,520 Hello? 58 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,856 Hi, Matt, how are you... Where are you? 59 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:36,960 I've been for half an hour. 60 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,240 Oh, we're at the elephant. 61 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,520 Yeah, I'm at the elephant. 62 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,760 Oh, no... Hi. 63 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:41,880 Oh, I think I see... Matt? 64 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,480 He hung up. OK. Oh. 65 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:44,560 Cool guy. 66 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,600 Here we go. Here we go, here we go, Col. 67 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,560 What the fuck happened? 68 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,840 Oh, shit, did you not tell him? No, I did... 69 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:54,920 What happened to Bandit? 70 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,440 Sorry, I told you on the phone that he was hit by a car. 71 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:59,200 No, you don't. I did. 72 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,000 We don't know who was driving the car though. 73 00:04:00,001 --> 00:04:01,096 We don't know who was driving the car though. 74 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,000 You didn't tell me he was... 75 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,280 Oh, fuck's sake! 76 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,120 Hey, he's... he's OK. Yeah. 77 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,416 He's still a good dog. He made it. 78 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:08,480 No, it isn't, mate. 79 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:09,856 He's got wheels for fucken back legs. 80 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,720 No, we... we know that, mate. But he's... he's... 81 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,056 Let's just calm down, alright? Yeah. 82 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,136 Hey why don't you calm down? 83 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,800 My ten-year-old boy was devastated when his dog ran away. 84 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,840 He's been crying ever since. 85 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:23,040 He comes home from school with paintings of Bandit in heaven 86 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,400 and Bandit in a coffin, 87 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,496 and now he's having dreams that 88 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,320 zombie Bandit's fucken stuck in his closet. 89 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,880 Oh, that's awful. 90 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:30,960 Yeah, it is awful. 91 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,256 And then I get your phone call and I'm thinking, 92 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,496 I'm gonna reunite him with his dog 93 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:36,000 and now, I've gotta let him down all over again. 94 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,560 Why? He's alive. 95 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,616 What do you expect me to do, 96 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:39,976 build fucken ramps for the fucken thing? 97 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,880 Are you actually saying that you don't want your dog back? 98 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,080 I never fucken wanted the dog! 99 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:49,160 My boy wanted a dog, but he doesn't pick its shit up 100 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,200 and walk the little cunt. 101 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:51,600 OK, are you right, mate? 102 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,280 No, I'm not fucken right 103 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,936 'cause I've gotta go and tell my boy that this isn't the same fucken dog, 104 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:56,960 'cause it's not, is it? 105 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000 'Cause this dog's fucked. 106 00:04:58,040 --> 00:04:59,999 No, you're a bit fucked, aren't ya mate, ya fucken cretin? 107 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,640 No, you're a bit fucked, aren't ya mate, ya fucken cretin? 108 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,120 Gordon, don't. Come on. Gordon. 109 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,200 What are... 110 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,800 What are you gonna fucken do, Gordon? 111 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,416 Do you want me to break your other fucken hand? 112 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,440 Have a fucken swing, mate. Have a fucken swing. 113 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,440 Is he being serious? Are you, mate? 114 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,776 Are you, mate? Don't be a fucken idiot, mate... 115 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,120 Come on. Well, fucken... 116 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,640 Yes, I don't think you are, Gordon. 117 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,456 Mate, I'll fucken put my good hand behind my back. 118 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,440 You... OK. 119 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:29,520 Have you ever thought you might have a problem with rage? 120 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,680 I said sorry. 121 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:31,840 Oh, only after you realised 122 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,256 he was gonna beat the shit out of you. 123 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,536 Yeah, what sort of dickhead threatens 124 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:35,920 a guy with one hand? 125 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,360 And why do you have one hand? 126 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,200 I'm not really at my best, currently, Ash, alright? 127 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:41,920 Yeah, but you go from 0 to a 100... 128 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,320 No, I wasn't at zero. 129 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,920 I was already mid-50s. The guy is an arsehole. 130 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:02,880 What do we do? 131 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:03,920 What do you mean? 132 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,240 Well, I can't look after him if we're, you know, if... 133 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,160 I can't do it alone. 134 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,400 Can you? No. 135 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,000 No, I can't, not by myself. 136 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,640 Do you know anyone who's looking for a dog? 137 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:27,960 Ooh! 138 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,200 Hello, mate. 139 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,680 Are your neighbours still up for a dog? 140 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,120 I don't think so, man. 141 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,000 I think they went to the rescue place down in Mascot. 142 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,040 Oh. 143 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,560 What... what place? We're near Mascot now. 144 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:42,680 Couldn't tell you. 145 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,920 Bretty, is it... Is it Jenny's Animal Shelter, maybe? 146 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,440 Yeah, that's the one. 147 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,720 So, Meggles, she's a cool chick. 148 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,040 Yeah, yep, she's great. Why? 149 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,480 What's her story? Is she single? 150 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,120 Fuck. She might be, yep. 151 00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,240 Cool. 152 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,000 You wouldn't mind giving us her number? 153 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:04,840 I thought Chiara warned you off, mate. 154 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:07,280 Chiara's married with kids. She's kidding herself. 155 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,360 Big talk, mate. 156 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:09,400 Who's kidding herself? 157 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,920 Ooh, you're fucked now. 158 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,880 Um, how about I'll text her your number? 159 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,320 I think that's better. Cool. Bye. 160 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:16,696 Not kidding yourself, you know. 161 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,080 What, are you going to call Megan? 162 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,280 Are you? You're married, Chi. 163 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,080 Yeah, I know that, Brett. I know that. 164 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,320 You OK? 165 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,960 No, I'm not. I really liked her the other day. 166 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:31,960 Oh. 167 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,720 Oh, I didn't know you... you swung from vine to vine. 168 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,440 Well, before Andre, I had a couple of... 169 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,200 Sips from the furry cup? 170 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:40,400 Come on. 171 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,000 Sorry, I just didn't know you dined at the Y? 172 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,200 Brett! Sorry! 173 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,960 Sorry. Alright? Go on. 174 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,240 Well, you know, Andre and I got together so young. 175 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,640 Sort of just haven't opened that door since. 176 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,360 Look, Chi, if this is a big, 177 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,999 you know, moment for you then I won't call her, OK? 178 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,040 You know, moment for you then I won't call her, OK? 179 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,120 Alright? 180 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,336 I think she's a really cool chick, 181 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,880 but it's alright. 182 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:11,960 It's cool. 183 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,240 I'm married, for fuck's sake. 184 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,800 OK. 185 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,160 Oh, wow, it's Megan. 186 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,080 "Hey, just got your number from Ash". 187 00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:26,160 Up for a bevy if I... 188 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,600 ..drop round in the next hourish? 189 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,720 'Where do you stand on threesomes? 190 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:39,960 Are you on crack? 191 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,160 Are we sure this is the place? 192 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,080 Yep, it's got one review from Numbskull 823, 193 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,000 which says, "Big boi got big balzzz." 194 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,720 Sounds good. That was three years ago. 195 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,320 OK. Yep. 196 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,000 That one has one eye. 197 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:09,640 When did that happen? 198 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,280 Look at that fucking wolf thing. 199 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,200 That's from 'Game of Thrones'. 200 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,760 That's 'Jon Snow's dog. 201 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,200 Oh, shit, look at that one. 202 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,360 Oh, he can jump. 203 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,600 He's a jumper. OK. 204 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,280 I can't look at him. Nuh. 205 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,280 Ooh, bad dog. That's a... That's a bad dog. 206 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,456 No, he's OK. He's chained up. He's chained up. That's alright. 207 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,880 What about that one? He's here. Oh! 208 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,320 OK. Well, he can't go in here. 209 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:38,400 Pick him up. Pick him up. 210 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,936 Well, no, he's got... he's got his wheels on. 211 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,456 Yeah, well, you have to pick him up anyway. 212 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,600 Like my hand, I can't... Just pick the dog up... 213 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:44,696 Yep, OK. Very good. ..Gordon. 214 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:46,640 OK, here we go. Oh, god. 215 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,200 OK. Oh, fuck, he's lunch. 216 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,056 Look at him, he's lunch. No, we're good, we're good. 217 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,160 Go, go, go. And relax. Just breathe. 218 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,640 Oh, my god. 219 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,160 That's it. Be confident. Be confident. We're good. 220 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,496 He's really big. No, he's good, he's good. 221 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:58,976 That's the one with one eye. We're all good. 222 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,000 Just be confident. We're the top dog. 223 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,520 Just be confident. We're the top dog. 224 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,160 We're the top dogs. I don't think we are. 225 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,680 Yeah, yeah. Oh, my goodness! 226 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,600 All good? All good? No, I'm great. OK, top dog. 227 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:06,936 You know, what? Be confident and laugh. 228 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,440 Get down! 229 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,336 What the bloody hell are youse doing? 230 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,240 Youse are meant to use the back gate. 231 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,376 Hey. Oh, hi, we didn't realise. 232 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,400 There was one. Sorry. 233 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,280 Yeah, you're right. You droppin' off or pickin' up? 234 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,360 Ahh, potentially dropping off. 235 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,440 Legs buggered? Ahh, yes. 236 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:30,560 Does it come with the rig? 237 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,360 Yes, he needs them. The rig is... Yeah. 238 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,320 Sweet. OK. 239 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,160 So, do you have... Ooh! 240 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,880 Any experience with special needs dogs? 241 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,360 Dogs are dogs, love. 242 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,040 $300 for drop off. OK. 243 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,816 Ahh, he might need his urine expressed, though. 244 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,080 Do you know, how to do that? Yeah, no worries. 245 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,600 But... but do you know how to do it? 246 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,160 You droppin' off or not? 247 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,480 Ahh, well, possibly, but this is a high-needs dog. 248 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,320 Nah, youse are high-needs people. 249 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,000 Dogs are dogs. Shut up, Bobo. 250 00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:02,360 Dogs are dogs. Shut up, Bobo. 251 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,896 Gordon, I really... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 252 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:04,936 I think we should go. Yeah. 253 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,200 Bugger youse then. Fricken time wasters. 254 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,880 Sorry, Jenny. Come on, Bobby. 255 00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:10,160 Come on. Come on, inside. 256 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,200 Right, here he comes. Good boy. Come on! Inside! 257 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,680 Good boy. Come on! 258 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:15,896 Gordon, you've backed me up against the gate. 259 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,256 Alright, can we... I can't open the fucking gate. 260 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,720 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Move forward. 261 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,000 Jesus Christ. 262 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,360 Yeah, I mean, so, Jenny's definitely not vaccinated. 263 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:24,480 Wouldn't have thought so. 264 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:26,800 Bretty. 265 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,960 Hey, mate, the neighbours are still looking for a dog. 266 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,760 Oh, really? Oh, what? 267 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,680 They said that... that rescue place was a bit weird. 268 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,240 A bit? Fucken hell. My god. 269 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,280 Anyway, Phoebe is the Mum's name. 270 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,760 I'll text you all her dets and she'll be expecting your call. 271 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,200 But they're a really nice family. 272 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,760 OK. Yep, sounds good man. 273 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,520 Thanks, Brett. Did... did Meggles text? 274 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:51,200 Yeah. She... Yeah. 275 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,560 Is everything OK? 276 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:56,200 Yep. Yep. Yep. 277 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:58,160 It's cool. Cool, cool. 278 00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,640 What's that mean? 279 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:00,000 Ahh, nah. All good. She did, thanks. 280 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:03,080 Ahh, nah. All good. She did, thanks. 281 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,120 Anyways, gotta crack on. OK. 282 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:06,520 OK. Alright. 283 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,760 See ya. Bye. 284 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,560 Ooh! 285 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,320 OK. 286 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:13,840 What do you think, should we do this? 287 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,280 Yeah, I mean, anything's better than that. 288 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:22,160 Yeah. 289 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,040 Oh, and it turned out the British guy, Nigel. 290 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,080 Yeah? 291 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,120 Yeah, is some drug dealer mate of Roman's. 292 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:29,840 What? Sorry, what British guy? 293 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,200 The one that fell out the window. 294 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,200 Sorry, someone fell out the window? Yeah. 295 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:36,240 Well, did he survive? 296 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,160 Yeah, but now he's suing us. 297 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,040 What! Gordon told me you'd freak out. 298 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,120 Freak out? Yes! 299 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,296 What was he doing up there? I don't know! 300 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,080 - Maybe I should go. - No, no, no. 301 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:46,120 Sorry, that's so... 302 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,640 This is so boring. Don't do that, no. 303 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,640 We don't want to hear about all this work stuff. 304 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:52,360 OK. You didn't come here for that. 305 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,840 Did you? 306 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,160 No, you did not come here 307 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,880 so, that you could hear about Brett and Gordon's incompetence. 308 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,000 Hey guys, is a debit card OK? 309 00:13:00,001 --> 00:13:01,240 Hey guys, is a debit card OK? 310 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,200 Oh, no, no, no, this is on us. Yeah. 311 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,760 No, no, no, for the party. It's $500, yeah? 312 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,160 You're paying for the whole party? 313 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:10,560 Um, yeah. 314 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,960 I... I think Ash got the impression that Gordon would pay, 315 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,136 which is... which is our bad. 316 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,200 Meggles, look, Gordo can pay for his girlfriend's party. 317 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,240 Come on. 318 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:20,720 Ahh, actually I think they broke up. 319 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,800 Oh. 320 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,520 Well, whatever. You're not paying for this. 321 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,560 Is she, Chi? 322 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,000 No, way. No, no, no. This is on us. 323 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,120 Yeah. Are you serious? 324 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,320 Yep. Deadly. Yeah. 325 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,800 Oh, my god, thank you guys. 326 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,720 Thank you so much. You're the best. 327 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,120 OK. 328 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,560 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 329 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,560 Thank you really. 330 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:42,680 Thank you, Bretty, mwah. 331 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,720 You guys are fucking legends. 332 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,960 Oh, you're a legend. Oh, you are. 333 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:51,560 And I just... 334 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,976 I hope I didn't make too much of a dick of myself at the party. 335 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,760 No, hey, hey, we had some really good chats. 336 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,880 Yeah, so, did we. 337 00:13:58,920 --> 00:13:59,999 It's embarrassing for me 338 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,200 It's embarrassing for me 339 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,880 because I actually don't remember anything after shots. 340 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,000 I was wasted. 341 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,296 Yeah, me too. You think I remember? 342 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,440 Oh, for sure. I don't... 343 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:08,616 Sorry, was I even talking to you? 344 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,000 What'd we even... Did we talk. Yeah. Exactly. 345 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,360 I don't know, did we talk? 346 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,360 OK, OK. 347 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,840 Thank you. Thanks, guys. 348 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,240 Thank you for coming in. See ya. 349 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,320 Yeah! Yep. 350 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,560 Can I have a... Shut up! Shut up. 351 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:02,840 Third time lucky. 352 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,280 Hi! Hi. 353 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,560 I'm Phoebe. Hi, Gordon and Ashley. 354 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,240 Hello, Phoebe, how are you? 355 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,600 Oh, there you are! 356 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,160 Look at this precious little man. 357 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,920 Hello! Oh, kisses! 358 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,920 Oh, kisses. Thank you! 359 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,960 Please, come on in. Would you like a coffee, or a tea? 360 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,200 Oh. Um... Do you wanna... 361 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,296 Oh, please you can meet Angus 362 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,200 and Berlin is so excited to meet this little guy. 363 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,360 Yeah, OK. Yes, great. 364 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,600 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come in! 365 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,040 You have frizzy hair. 366 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:52,640 What do I have? 367 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,520 Frizzy hair. Oh, do I? 368 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,200 She does, yeah, yeah. My Mum's prettier. 369 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:58,600 Oop! Berlin! 370 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,360 Our chihuahua, Peppy, died the year before last. 371 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,280 He was 18, you know. 372 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,160 So, it really took us a long time to get over it. 373 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,320 Oh, yeah, I bet. 374 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:13,840 Mm. 375 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,816 And when Brett's Mum, Diana, told us about this dog 376 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:19,200 we just thought, you precious little thing. 377 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,240 And seeing him here, he really is. 378 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,360 Yeah, he's very special. Yeah. 379 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,960 Did she mention that he might need help doing a wee, 380 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,240 going to the toilet in time? 381 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,120 Yep, already YouTubed that and ready to go, so... 382 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,440 Oh. Oh, wow. 383 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,480 That's great. 384 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,560 Yeah. 385 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,680 And if... if I could ask one favour? 386 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,720 Sure. 387 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,560 If you wouldn't mind not changing his name 388 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,480 because it would be his third name 389 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,160 and it just might be a bit confusing for him. 390 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,800 What was... What was his name again? 391 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:53,880 Colin. Yeah. 392 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,840 Yeah, it's a weird name for a dog. Mm. 393 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,000 Yeah, don't love it. 394 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:03,200 Ahh, well, I mean, something then that sounds like, 395 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,920 you know, ah, like Corin? 396 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,000 Corin? 397 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,000 Or Gollum? Gollum. 398 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,599 From 'Lord Of The Rings'. Yeah, nah. 399 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,160 What do you want to call him, Berlin? 400 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,280 Peppy! 401 00:17:16,319 --> 00:17:17,680 Are you sure, sweetheart? 402 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,920 Peppy was... Peppy's name. 403 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,760 I want Peppy. 404 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,120 Oh. She does know that... that's not Peppy, though, so... 405 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,560 Of course she does. 406 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:28,096 But I think if she wants to call him Peppy, 407 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,160 it doesn't matter. 408 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,360 Do you love Peppy, darling? Peppy, come here. Peppy! Peppy! 409 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,280 Oh, Peppy it is. 410 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,920 Yay! Vroom! Vroom! Ahh, no, don't do that. 411 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,216 Can we not... Can we not do that? Vroom! Vroom! 412 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,960 Be gentle, Berlin. Vroom! Vroom! 413 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,840 Stop. How do you make... 414 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:48,640 Can you be gentle, Berlin. She's being gentle. 415 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,240 He's my dog now. 416 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,480 Peppy! Come on, Peppy! 417 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,800 Thank you for not making it a big goodbye. 418 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,080 It's less traumatic for Peppy. 419 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,760 Yep. Yeah, of course. No, worries. 420 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,120 Yeah. 421 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,896 And just let us know if you've got any questions, 422 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,480 any issues, anything. 423 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,280 Of course. Day or night. 424 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,440 Yeah. I'm sure we'll be fine. 425 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:16,480 Totally. 426 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,520 Cool, cool. Let's go. 427 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,400 Yeah, and just send some photos when you can. 428 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,400 OK. Well, take care. It was so lovely to meet you both. 429 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,160 Bye-bye! OK, bye. 430 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,080 Was that the right thing to do? 431 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,360 I think so. 432 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,480 Will he be OK? 433 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:45,840 I mean... 434 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,960 Dogs are pragmatists, you know? I mean... 435 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,880 Yeah, he's special, but he's gonna... 436 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,320 He's gonna love whoever feeds him, won't he? 437 00:18:58,360 --> 00:18:59,999 That was always the deal between humans and dogs. 438 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:00,560 That was always the deal between humans and dogs. 439 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,936 It's always been the deal, you know? 440 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,480 We let them sit near the campfire and we'd feed them scraps, 441 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,640 and they'd protect us 442 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,720 when the lions were nearby, you know? 443 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,240 So, it's... 444 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,680 it's kind of transactional. 445 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,000 Doesn't make it less real, but it's fine. 446 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,120 He'll be happy. 447 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:19,920 Yeah, but we loved him. 448 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,800 Yeah. Yeah. 449 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:27,880 Hi, Mum. 450 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,720 Ashley, where are you? 451 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,920 I'm just with Gordon. What's going on? 452 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,920 Something's happened. I need you. 453 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:36,360 What's happened? Are you... Are you OK? 454 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,600 No, I'm not. It's Lee. 455 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,000 Please come here. I need you. 456 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,040 OK, OK, OK, just breathe. Breathe, Mum. 457 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,040 OK, I'll be there soon. 458 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,800 What's wrong? Oh, fuck knows. 459 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,800 It's like she knew that I was having a moment. 460 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,360 OK. 461 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,560 I'd better go see what's up with Mum. 462 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:16,920 Yeah. 463 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,240 You OK? Yeah. 464 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:26,800 I guess I'll see you round? 465 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:27,920 Yeah, definitely. 466 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:32,240 Is that it? 467 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,360 What? 468 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:36,640 OK. 469 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,520 Well, I... I... I have to go. Bye, Gordon. 470 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,080 Ciao for now. 471 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:55,720 I said, "No, Lee, it's not spam." 472 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,000 It's all over Facebook. 473 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,160 Everyone can see 474 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,999 how many Candy Crush games you've played. 475 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:00,920 How many Candy Crush games you've played. 476 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:04,600 He's played literally hundreds of Candy Crush games 477 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,080 with this 21-year-old Korean girl, 478 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,680 but he kept saying it was spam. 479 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,240 Oh, you're joking, Mum. 480 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,200 But then I went through his phone, 481 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,160 and she's all through his chatsnap as well. 482 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,680 And he's been sending her money, my money. 483 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,160 And it's been going on for months. 484 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,920 Oh, my god. Mum, I'm so sorry. 485 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,320 You were right about him, Ashley. 486 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,760 You were. 487 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:34,160 Well, you know, I'm... I'm sorry that I was right. 488 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,680 No, I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. 489 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:38,840 I'm sorry that I believed him and not you. 490 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:40,480 You are my family. 491 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:41,560 It's OK, Mum. 492 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,080 No, it's not OK. You're my only family. 493 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:50,040 I love you so much, Ashley Maree. 494 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,240 Oh, Mummy. 495 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,640 Oh. 496 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,760 Oh, I've gotta take this. 497 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,000 Just make yourself comfortable, darling. 498 00:22:00,001 --> 00:22:01,256 Just make yourself comfortable, darling. 499 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:02,480 This could take a while. 500 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,120 Well, what have you got to say for yourself? 501 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,600 Don't call me if you're going to lie to me. 502 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:52,320 Gordy, you left the window open. 503 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,080 Ahh, fuck it. 504 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,640 Are you crying about us or are you crying about Colin? 505 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,720 Ahh, oh, it's everything. 506 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,720 If it were like a pie chart, 507 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:24,800 what would it look like? 508 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,120 Um... 509 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,160 I don't know. It's a lot. 510 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,800 It's just, um... 511 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,040 this is a once in a year cry, you know. 512 00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:43,280 What's the saddest thing though? 513 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:44,920 Does it matter? 514 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:45,960 Well, yeah, 515 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,360 'cause I was just going to have a little cry too and... 516 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:49,680 Were you? Yeah. 517 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,520 I mean, it wasn't going to be like 518 00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:54,440 an Irish keening like what you're doing, 519 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,920 but you know, 520 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,240 'cause I just have lots of little cries throughout the year. 521 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:00,000 What was yours about? 522 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:01,000 What was yours about? 523 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:02,880 Pie chart-wise. 524 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,280 I asked you first. 525 00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:09,440 Um... 526 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,800 I think I accidentally opened my heart 527 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,600 to a crippled dog... 528 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,120 And then you slipped through the opening at the same time. 529 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,080 If this is falling in love, I really don't like it. 530 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:31,320 I'm not a fan 'cause it's exhausting. 531 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,600 I feel a bit like I'm going insane. 532 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,200 Do you? Yeah. 533 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,120 That's nice. Is it? 534 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,040 So, what do we do? 535 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,720 I think we go get our dog back. 536 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:08,480 Oh, thank god. 537 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:09,560 Let's do it. 538 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:15,680 I hated that fucking family. Oh, they were fucked. 539 00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,240 Who calls their kid Berlin? Wankers. 540 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,696 How are we gonna get him back? Oh, I don't know. 541 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,400 We'll... we'll figure it out on the way. 542 00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:29,160 We are gonna make that little girl cry though. 543 00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,280 Good. 544 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,400 Captioned by Ai-Media ai-media. tv 38202

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