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1
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Things have been a little
tense between Alex and I.
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Look I understand Randall's from a different
generation and it's no surprise that older
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people are stuck in their ways and
don't want to change the way they act.
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I know Alex is younger and sees things differently
but i have one thing over him, experience.
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He can call it whatever he wants but times
change and people have to change with them.
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[Alex] You want to talk about it?
[Randall] I really don't have
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much to say about it so...
Because you know you're wrong
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All right you want to talk
about let's talk about it all
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[Randall] Michael Keaton & [Alex] Christian Bale
IS THE BEST BATMAN OF ALL TIME!
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[Alex] what are you talking about? He went
against Danny Devito, who couldn't kick his ass?
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[Randall] oh so who was Christian
Bale fighting? Crime or throat cancer?
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- Randall mumbles raspy sounds-
Okay, I woke up early in the
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morning every Saturday morning to
watch Adam West, I'm a true fan!
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I always thought Adam west was just the
mayor on family guy I found out he was
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actually the original batman
in 1966. How old is Randall?
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Nah, I'm telling you man he went up
against a much better joker, Heath Ledger.
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[Randall] okay okay kudos whatever
I'm not saying that Christian Bale
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is a bad batman, okay? I'm just saying
that Michael Keaton is the BEST Batman.
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[Alex] no
[Randall] no no I'm a true fan, I'm a true fan,
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it's true to the comics it's true to the comics
all right that was the first movie I saw when I
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was going to the drive-in theater and I first got
my driver's license. what are you talking about?
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I don't know if he's 25 or 50.
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I still think Ben Affleck was pretty dope.
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Being that do you mind
taking your 10-minute break?
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Suppose that I could.
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Please.
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[Randall] We had a call about a gentleman
they said he didn't know what the issue was
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may have been a bad connection
29
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Oh boy check out tiny Tim
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[Liam speaking cockney slang]????? sent around
you rental bobbies took your time eh,???? of
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a pint before this?
[Randall] so we we
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told you have a problem or situation?
[Liam] Yeah mate, I brought myself here
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from the uk thinking i've escaped from all
the pikeys in the hippies so I'm in my own
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rat watching unintelligible see these couple of
hippies nicking things out in my garden??????
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[Alex] It's not?
[Randall] Yeeeeeah
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um can you give us a moment i need to
talk to my partner. Just one second.
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Alright then??????? I ain't got all day
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Yeah.
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So Randall, what does he want?
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I have no clue.
I think he said he's looking for
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a cat named hippie because it chased after a rat
and mouse. so we should look for a cat, yeah?
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00:03:02,123 --> 00:03:09,803
No, no, no I think he's doing traditional British
rhyming so what it sounds like it means maybe
43
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rat and mouse means...house?
How do you know?
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I don't okay I think most slang is worthless
it's almost as worthless as saying that
45
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you know Christian Bale is
better than Michael Keaton
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You're worthless okay you
don't know a good cinema!
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OY! you lad's gonna give each other a
wank while you're standing there, ey?
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00:03:35,403 --> 00:03:40,443
Look you boys are nice lads i just need you to
tell them hippies stop coming nicking things
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from out me??? this ain't no bloody???
coming here to get all their???? you know
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what I'm saying, mate?
Right, that's bad?
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Yeah.
good.
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??
bad.
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You know my family has some
british in it actually.
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Oh yeah????? you remind me of
a lad back home yeah poorly got
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fiddled by the priest it was a right
??? -unintelligible- in the church.
56
00:04:03,483 --> 00:04:07,323
You ever been to Essex?
oh okay you know what I'm gonna
57
00:04:07,323 --> 00:04:11,403
need you to... can you give me some information
so I can kind of like get more on the situation?
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00:04:11,963 --> 00:04:13,003
I'm thinking I've said it all, mate.
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Mhm.
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00:04:16,763 --> 00:04:19,083
Okay oh we got enough.
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00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:22,683
Yeah, cheers lads I mean I don't want to
cause no trouble, just can't -unintelligible-
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00:04:23,643 --> 00:04:24,523
Yeah right yeah all right.
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00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:25,643
Cheerios
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The [__] you talking about cereal for?
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00:04:28,843 --> 00:04:32,763
uh uh we're well we'll be back with more
updates yeah we're going to fix this for
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00:04:32,763 --> 00:04:34,683
you sir, okay?
Bomboclaat.
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00:04:34,683 --> 00:04:40,123
Okay...so where did you get your notes?
If you think I understood anything he
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00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:44,603
said... you're crazy. Nothing.
I'm telling you...he's looking
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00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:47,883
for a cat named hippie.
Look what we're gonna do
70
00:04:47,883 --> 00:04:52,123
is we're gonna patrol the neighborhood, okay?
We're gonna gather some clues to see if we can
71
00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:56,202
find anything, okay and then we're gonna talk to
some people to see if they had any interactions
72
00:04:56,202 --> 00:04:58,283
with this guy. All right?
That's a plan.
73
00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:02,203
Was he saying that I looked like a church
boy who got touched by a priest...-?
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00:05:03,883 --> 00:05:09,883
Either way I gotta find this guy's cat.
75
00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:13,146
[Woke Boys] FE-MAN-IST, FE-MAN-IST, FE-MAN-IST
76
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:14,923
[Alex] Oh good lord.
Connor: If it isn't
77
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:18,603
the male patriarchal society. Hi, you
guys come to spread your male toxicity?
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00:05:18,603 --> 00:05:21,723
[Randall] We don't have time for this
all right I was calling because we have
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00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:25,483
a residence that has a problem with...
[Alex] It's uh...-it's...-it...-it's
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00:05:25,483 --> 00:05:29,803
[Randall] Well look we just want to know if
you're willing to give up some information
81
00:05:29,803 --> 00:05:35,403
you know have you guys had an altercation with
a British man from up the street named uh Liam?
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[Alex] Have you seen his cat named hippie?
[Randall] Ignore that.
83
00:05:37,883 --> 00:05:41,883
[Derrick] Even if we did have any info we
wouldn't share it with you because of your
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00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,563
toxic male genes.
[Connor] yeah you'd
85
00:05:43,563 --> 00:05:46,923
probably use it to start a war or something
[Derrick] Or take away health care rights from
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pregnant female CEOs
Yep.
87
00:05:48,923 --> 00:05:52,283
I think you guys are overestimating
the power we have as security guards.
88
00:05:52,283 --> 00:05:55,323
Well i wouldn't put it past
you too men cannot be trusted.
89
00:05:55,323 --> 00:06:00,363
I don't know if you guys remember
this but you guys are guys.
90
00:06:00,363 --> 00:06:01,963
Yes two dicks on the sidewalk.
91
00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:06,603
We are guys with our eyes on the prize
society can't move forward until men
92
00:06:06,603 --> 00:06:10,123
move backward. We are feminists but
we make sure we keep "the man" small.
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00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:13,723
Wow, that's amazing because you
even spelled it wrong still.
94
00:06:13,723 --> 00:06:18,283
Yeah um we know but we do it we know we
care. What have you guys done for women?
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Well i didn't waste my morning creating
signs that don't make any sense...
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00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:25,323
yours says stop stop harassing women
that's a double negative. Yeah, stop it.
97
00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:27,883
No, does that mean start harassing them?
Stop harassing them.
98
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Stop harassing women and this is men for metoo.
99
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That just takes away from the entire
metoo movement, it's about women, okay?
100
00:06:34,923 --> 00:06:38,763
What have you actually done? I respect
women okay you guys don't come close to it.
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How so?
102
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I'm pro-choice, okay and
I choose to respect women.
103
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,923
Oh yeah, I wouldn't even go to history class in
high school because I wanted to be her-story.
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00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:52,202
I legally tried to change my name to janessa.
Caitlyn Jenner is my hero. I exclusively eat at
105
00:06:52,202 --> 00:06:55,883
arby's because their sandwiches look like a [__]
I literally have only watched the
106
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:59,643
view for the last 13 years.
Wow, I only watched the bachelorette
107
00:06:59,643 --> 00:07:04,763
because the woman is the prize. Ironically,
I watched the bachelor for the same reason.
108
00:07:04,763 --> 00:07:06,843
I respect women so much I
only [__] from the bottom.
109
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:11,803
Okay yeah I would never overpower somebody,
only you on top, you power you [__] me.
110
00:07:11,803 --> 00:07:15,243
I never even had a dad, biologically.
Wow, I've been apologizing to my mom since
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00:07:15,243 --> 00:07:18,203
I came out of her. I'm so sorry.
I was made with two eggs.
112
00:07:18,203 --> 00:07:20,843
Wow, okay all right I don't even,
iIonly watch gay porn because i
113
00:07:20,843 --> 00:07:24,683
don't want to see a woman objectified like that.
Well my dick's so small it looks like a clitoris
114
00:07:24,683 --> 00:07:27,083
I eat that [__] right now right now
right now, right now.
115
00:07:27,083 --> 00:07:31,711
Okay! okay! All right this is extreme. Look if
you have any information on what we would.....
116
00:07:31,711 --> 00:07:37,003
[Woke Boys] Stop, Stop, Harassing Women.
Men for me too stop me too men for me too
117
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:39,923
[Alex] We'll be back, this ain't over.
118
00:07:41,723 --> 00:07:46,043
After combing the neighborhood we were unable
to find anybody that knew anything about Liam's
119
00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:47,483
"situation".
120
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,923
We also couldn't find anybody
who could understand him.
121
00:07:52,283 --> 00:07:55,153
So what are you gonna tell him?
The truth. Can't help what we can't understand
122
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:58,202
him if we can't understand him.
It just feels rude.
123
00:07:58,202 --> 00:08:02,363
Okay, it could be something serious I'd
rather spare him to trouble than his feelings.
124
00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:08,043
You know we tried...I haven't found a
cat. His tags said Felix, it's not Hippie.
125
00:08:08,043 --> 00:08:13,403
[Liam] OY! Come here,???????
wankers off me property.
126
00:08:13,403 --> 00:08:19,083
[Randall] What are you two doing here?
[Theo] There's a great garden we like cultivate
127
00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:24,203
by urban foraging for our essential oils.
[Carrie] We love your garden, sir.
128
00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:28,283
I told you if he's this ain't
no bloody shop, it's me rat.
129
00:08:28,283 --> 00:08:30,443
You can't be nicking stuff at me garden.
130
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:34,602
[Carrie] Your accent is so cute!
[Theo] It sounds like a fairy tale.
131
00:08:34,602 --> 00:08:38,842
See lads, these are once causing
the???????????????? I'm gonna
132
00:08:38,842 --> 00:08:40,763
call the real coppers, oye!
[Randall] You two you know you
133
00:08:40,763 --> 00:08:44,043
can't be on somebody else's property now if
you do it again we're gonna have to report
134
00:08:44,043 --> 00:08:48,123
you to H.O.A. and have you fined.
[Carrie] okay you can't own mother
135
00:08:48,123 --> 00:08:53,883
Earth...if it grows it belongs to everyone.
[Theo] Yeah mother guy, is gift to us all.
136
00:08:53,883 --> 00:08:58,363
[Alex] Well, we can call the real cops
and tell them that you're trespassing.
137
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:02,283
[Liam] Yeah you like trespassing
[Carrie] You can't trespass on land
138
00:09:02,283 --> 00:09:07,883
that's stolen. Call the cops, we don't care!
[Theo] Actually, baby...uh maybe we don't
139
00:09:07,883 --> 00:09:11,883
want the cops snooping around..... you know
due to our not so legitimate hem...-business.
140
00:09:12,443 --> 00:09:15,723
[Carrie] okay we won't do it again sorry.
[Randall] Okay yeah, drop the
141
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,203
basket get out of here.
[Carrie & Theo] oh okay yeah
142
00:09:18,203 --> 00:09:20,363
[Randall] Quicker, thank you.
[Carrie] Still love your voice!
143
00:09:20,363 --> 00:09:22,123
We swing by the way.
[Theo] Call us, bro
144
00:09:22,123 --> 00:09:24,843
oh.
Thanks for your help lads.
145
00:09:25,403 --> 00:09:28,683
No problem.
Yeah, well glad we can help you okay?
146
00:09:28,683 --> 00:09:30,763
All right so we're gonna get on out of here...
[Alex] You know they sell weed
147
00:09:30,763 --> 00:09:34,363
right like 100 percent?
[Deborah] Hey Randall... Alex.
148
00:09:35,563 --> 00:09:37,723
I see you've met Liam...
[Liam] Right darling.
149
00:09:37,723 --> 00:09:39,963
Isn't he amazing?
He's great.
150
00:09:39,963 --> 00:09:43,643
Miss Deborah you you know this gentleman?
You could say that, yeah.
151
00:09:43,643 --> 00:09:48,363
I'm shagging this bird, she might not look
it, but she's got a lovely fife on her boys.
152
00:09:49,483 --> 00:09:54,203
Fife?
Oh yeah fife and drum... bum...as in arse.
153
00:09:55,163 --> 00:09:58,123
Oh okay okay yeah thank
you we're glad we can help.
154
00:09:58,963 --> 00:10:02,203
[Deborah] Liam we can watch
your favorite batman movie
155
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:04,229
while I make dinner.
[Liam] Batmaaaaan.
156
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:09,003
[Alex] Mr Liam, question who would
you say your favorite Batman is?
157
00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:13,083
[Liam] oh there's only one man
for me, boys... that would be
158
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,603
Mr Val Killmer
159
00:10:15,563 --> 00:10:16,603
All right I'm done.
160
00:10:16,603 --> 00:10:18,203
Glad we can help you, thank you, sir.
161
00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:19,083
Thanks again, lads.
162
00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:21,563
[Deborah] oh by the way Liam I
bought some cat food, for hippie
163
00:10:21,563 --> 00:10:24,843
[Alex] I [__] knew it there
was always a cat, Randall!
164
00:10:24,843 --> 00:10:32,603
[Randall] Honestly, I don't know if we did what
we were set out to do but Mr Liam was happy
165
00:10:34,603 --> 00:10:35,483
so...mission accomplished.
166
00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:45,883
[Alex] who the [__] is Val Killmer?
167
00:10:45,933 --> 00:10:50,483
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