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1
00:00:01,053 --> 00:00:05,433
Mr. Keen, Mr. Keen, Mr. Keen.
2
00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:09,853
You disappoint me.
3
00:00:09,853 --> 00:00:11,803
I-I... thought it was California rustic.
4
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,323
You thought?
5
00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:14,323
Okay.
6
00:00:14,323 --> 00:00:17,783
That's not even my paint, uh...you know I-I-I
got it from a friend.
7
00:00:17,783 --> 00:00:18,783
Oh...
8
00:00:18,783 --> 00:00:20,533
You know technically this isn't even my house?
9
00:00:20,533 --> 00:00:21,533
Oh.
10
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:22,533
The bank still owns it.
11
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The bank still owns it... how convenient.
12
00:00:26,723 --> 00:00:30,773
I'm sorry I tried mixing it from watching
youtube videos.
13
00:00:30,773 --> 00:00:31,773
Okay.
14
00:00:31,773 --> 00:00:35,053
Almond milk prices keep rising, my wife won't
drink regular!
15
00:00:35,053 --> 00:00:39,463
She claims it's because of gluten I keep telling
her milk doesn't even have gluten!
16
00:00:39,463 --> 00:00:43,082
Relax okay everything's gonna be all right
there's a lot of programs out there to help
17
00:00:43,082 --> 00:00:47,913
you, you know like Angie's list or you can
go to hardware stores they'll help you out
18
00:00:47,913 --> 00:00:48,913
you know?
19
00:00:48,913 --> 00:00:50,512
Trust me you can do this!
20
00:00:50,512 --> 00:00:58,663
So I'm just gonna go ahead and give you that
there.
21
00:00:58,663 --> 00:01:01,432
I'm sorry I'll I'll I'll do better
22
00:01:01,432 --> 00:01:15,703
I know you will, you don't have a choice
23
00:01:15,703 --> 00:01:20,933
His door was the wrong shade of brown?
24
00:01:20,933 --> 00:01:24,983
Okay in the realm of things that matter, how
is that even in the top billion?
25
00:01:24,983 --> 00:01:27,953
The rules are the rules, Alex.
26
00:01:27,953 --> 00:01:31,173
Well the rules are stupid.
27
00:01:31,173 --> 00:01:38,832
[Over Radio] All units...report of a Code
Brown...at 3435 Pine Lane...respond?
28
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:39,893
Thats us...
29
00:01:39,893 --> 00:01:41,483
We're on it.
30
00:01:41,483 --> 00:01:45,723
Get ready, get ready, get ready, get ready...
31
00:01:45,723 --> 00:01:49,823
So what exactly is a cold brown, Randall?
32
00:01:49,823 --> 00:01:55,043
Shhh...hey, stay behind me man.
33
00:01:55,043 --> 00:01:56,093
There!
34
00:01:56,093 --> 00:01:57,863
What is it?
35
00:01:57,863 --> 00:01:58,863
Is it serious?
36
00:01:58,863 --> 00:02:00,173
Are we gonna die?
37
00:02:00,173 --> 00:02:02,783
HEY! calm down, man.
38
00:02:02,783 --> 00:02:04,083
Alright, jus...OH.
39
00:02:04,083 --> 00:02:08,003
Come on, come on, come on
40
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:11,812
What the [__] man?
41
00:02:11,812 --> 00:02:13,952
It's [__] Randall?
42
00:02:13,952 --> 00:02:17,792
We ran over here for [__]?
43
00:02:17,792 --> 00:02:18,883
Yeah.
44
00:02:18,883 --> 00:02:21,062
It's [__].
45
00:02:21,062 --> 00:02:26,612
They got to change that code name, man.
46
00:02:26,612 --> 00:02:31,732
Code brown sounds like a terrorist attack
or something...- not that terrorists are always
47
00:02:31,732 --> 00:02:34,663
brown, uh anybody can be a terrorist.
48
00:02:34,663 --> 00:02:40,723
Statistically speaking they they usually look
like me... um domestic terrorism is the biggest
49
00:02:40,723 --> 00:02:41,723
threat to America
50
00:02:41,723 --> 00:02:44,322
[Over radio] Attention all units, another
code brown has been reported.
51
00:02:44,322 --> 00:02:46,133
Copy that.
52
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,413
Regular crap spree, it's a crap-ocalypse.
53
00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:54,473
Sorry, I know this is no time for toilet humor.
54
00:02:54,473 --> 00:02:56,693
Let's go.
55
00:02:56,693 --> 00:03:02,282
Here's some of the samples apparently everybody
in this neighborhood owns a [__] great dane.
56
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:07,053
What do we need that [__] for anyways?
57
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:09,273
Listen up rookie, okay?
58
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:14,803
Every residence with an animal is required
to give us a DNA sample to comply with the
59
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:16,853
poop disposal policy, okay?
60
00:03:16,853 --> 00:03:20,943
I've been cross referencing all these different
samples from all the neighborhoods to get
61
00:03:20,943 --> 00:03:25,773
a DNA match but so far, no luck.
62
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:30,282
So that's where all the HOA fees are going
I sent some samples over to the international
63
00:03:30,282 --> 00:03:37,203
database in Dubai so let's just say it's gonna
be a while, we should hit the streets.
64
00:03:37,203 --> 00:03:38,672
but we can't have pizza on Fridays?
65
00:03:38,672 --> 00:03:44,402
I'm just saying we can afford DNA databases
but we can't afford snacks for the breakdown
66
00:03:44,402 --> 00:03:46,473
or a break room, for that matter?
67
00:03:46,473 --> 00:03:49,652
You know I ate my lunch on somebody's recycling
bin the other day for crying out loud...
68
00:03:49,652 --> 00:03:51,262
Get on up here...
69
00:03:51,262 --> 00:03:52,262
Ohh
70
00:03:52,262 --> 00:03:53,312
What the [__] was that?
71
00:03:53,312 --> 00:03:56,083
oh... this is the freshest sample, yet.
72
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:57,083
Okay.
73
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,083
Freshest?
74
00:03:58,083 --> 00:03:59,083
Yeah you don't smell that?
75
00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:00,083
You mean that...
76
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:02,023
All right, don't spin Don't whip too much.
77
00:04:02,023 --> 00:04:06,962
When i find the [__] who do this I am gonna
rub their nose it's just [__]
78
00:04:06,962 --> 00:04:08,092
[Zoey] Alex?
79
00:04:08,092 --> 00:04:13,962
Hey it's Zoey from high school Zoe was president
of the science club, Spanish club, and drama
80
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:18,143
club... not to mention captain of the Basketball
team and debate team.
81
00:04:18,143 --> 00:04:23,213
Who's also the star of most of my wet dreams
since i was 13.
82
00:04:23,213 --> 00:04:25,103
You guys can edit that, right?
83
00:04:25,103 --> 00:04:26,103
Zoe
84
00:04:26,103 --> 00:04:27,103
Yeah
85
00:04:27,103 --> 00:04:30,273
Oh my god it's been forever.
86
00:04:30,273 --> 00:04:31,273
How are you?
87
00:04:31,273 --> 00:04:34,393
I'm good I graduated, just trying to figure
out my next move.
88
00:04:34,393 --> 00:04:35,393
Yeah nice, same.
89
00:04:35,393 --> 00:04:36,393
Same.
90
00:04:36,393 --> 00:04:39,283
Yeah, where did you end up going to schoo?l
91
00:04:39,283 --> 00:04:44,733
Uh I started at tech and then we mutually
agreed it would be best for me to come back
92
00:04:44,733 --> 00:04:47,393
when I felt like doing the work.
93
00:04:47,393 --> 00:04:49,853
Oh yeah, I didn't know you lived around here...
94
00:04:49,853 --> 00:04:51,553
Oh yeah I don't, my parents do.
95
00:04:51,553 --> 00:04:52,553
I'm just visiting
96
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,733
[Randall] oh no no no no.
97
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:57,963
I don't know if you're like this uh child
actress or something, but you can't break
98
00:04:57,963 --> 00:04:58,963
the rules like that.
99
00:04:58,963 --> 00:05:01,103
You can't use the community amenities without
permission.
100
00:05:01,103 --> 00:05:02,743
[Alex] She's she's fine, I'll handle it.
101
00:05:02,743 --> 00:05:06,074
No, I'll handle it not taking the privilege...-
[Alex] I'll handle it it's okay.
102
00:05:06,074 --> 00:05:07,074
She's fine.
103
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,074
[Randall] Okay I'll be right back.
104
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:09,074
Yeah, take your time.
105
00:05:09,074 --> 00:05:10,074
She better be gone...
106
00:05:10,074 --> 00:05:12,113
I didn't know that you worked here.
107
00:05:12,113 --> 00:05:15,523
I don't, why... why...why would you say that?
108
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:16,523
Your shirt.
109
00:05:16,523 --> 00:05:20,713
This shirt? uh it's I'm just trying it out...
you know what I mean?
110
00:05:20,713 --> 00:05:24,933
Kind of like a undercover boss situation I
kind of run this whole street really...-if
111
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,075
you didn't stop, we'll do it later, we'll
do it later
112
00:05:27,075 --> 00:05:28,075
[Randall] It's gonna dry up!
113
00:05:28,075 --> 00:05:31,193
[Over Radio] Attention all units, we have
a potential code brown in progress near south
114
00:05:31,193 --> 00:05:32,193
bound...
115
00:05:32,193 --> 00:05:33,343
Okay, alright, wrap it up!
116
00:05:33,343 --> 00:05:34,343
Rapido.
117
00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:36,943
[Zoey] Code Brown...oh that sounds important,
what is that?
118
00:05:36,943 --> 00:05:38,213
It's uh...
119
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,213
It's a terrorist attack.
120
00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:40,213
Really?
121
00:05:40,213 --> 00:05:41,213
oh my god!
122
00:05:41,213 --> 00:05:42,933
mm-hmm, mmhmm, we could die, potentially.
123
00:05:42,933 --> 00:05:44,813
Well I'm not even scared.
124
00:05:44,813 --> 00:05:48,133
[Randall] hey, hey, it's drying up, it's drying
up, it's
125
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:51,183
[Alex]...it'll be fine though, but I guarantee
it'll still be there.
126
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:53,163
[Randall] Come on... okay.
127
00:05:53,163 --> 00:05:54,163
[Zoey] Drying up?
128
00:05:54,163 --> 00:05:55,163
What's that?
129
00:05:55,163 --> 00:05:57,873
The-the-the leads will dry up, we won't be
able to figure out who did it.
130
00:05:57,873 --> 00:06:03,543
Oh yeah, okay well um yeah right yeah it was
so nice to see you.
131
00:06:03,543 --> 00:06:06,313
I know...- you take care okay?
132
00:06:06,313 --> 00:06:12,593
You look ...-oh god you look good...- [to Randall]
oh hurry up get this [__] off of me
133
00:06:12,593 --> 00:06:13,593
[Randall] Go, go .
134
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:17,443
[Zoey] What is that smell?
135
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:18,473
[Alex] Is it everywhere?
136
00:06:18,473 --> 00:06:19,473
Is it a lot?
137
00:06:19,473 --> 00:06:21,043
It's a lot, but it's the right amount.
138
00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:28,573
I cannot believe i fell in [__] in front
of Zoe riley, Randall Zoe Riley, do you even
139
00:06:28,573 --> 00:06:32,633
understand what this means for me? as a person?
as a man?
140
00:06:32,633 --> 00:06:34,153
No I-I-I don't.
141
00:06:34,153 --> 00:06:40,423
It means...when I find the person who's doing
this they're going to pay.
142
00:06:40,423 --> 00:06:42,123
Of course they're going to pay.
143
00:06:42,123 --> 00:06:44,202
I'm not talking about the fine, Randall!
144
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:51,343
As long as you don't physically harm anybody
you know we just...-wait ...-what is Ms Cooper
145
00:06:51,343 --> 00:06:52,343
doing over here?
146
00:06:52,343 --> 00:06:54,463
She lives off of Oak street.
147
00:06:54,463 --> 00:06:57,403
I'll tell you what she's doing.
148
00:06:57,403 --> 00:06:58,403
What?
149
00:06:58,403 --> 00:07:05,603
She's leaving [__] on the lawn to embarrass
me in front of Zoey-
150
00:07:05,603 --> 00:07:08,543
Alex, Alex, Alex...no
151
00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:09,543
Ahhh
152
00:07:09,543 --> 00:07:10,543
Alex!
153
00:07:10,543 --> 00:07:11,543
WOOO!
154
00:07:11,543 --> 00:07:12,543
Got your ass!
155
00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:15,523
I had to pick up eight piles of [__] because
of you!
156
00:07:15,523 --> 00:07:17,463
Let's see you drop [__] now.
157
00:07:17,463 --> 00:07:18,463
Let's goooooo!
158
00:07:18,463 --> 00:07:19,863
[Randall] oh my god are you okay?
159
00:07:19,863 --> 00:07:21,653
[Alex] Woo, could have gone d1
160
00:07:21,653 --> 00:07:23,433
[Randall] oh my god I'm so sorry.
161
00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,883
[Alex] Oklahoma was looking at me for practice
squad.
162
00:07:25,883 --> 00:07:26,883
What...-
163
00:07:26,883 --> 00:07:27,883
Listen this is...
164
00:07:27,883 --> 00:07:28,883
...- happening
165
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:29,883
[Alex]... just got a little bit of a bum knee.
166
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:30,883
[Randall] Are you okay?
167
00:07:30,883 --> 00:07:31,883
Yeah, oh yeah, I'm great!
168
00:07:31,883 --> 00:07:32,883
[Alex] I gotta throw baby!
169
00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:33,883
[Randall] Okay, alright, let me let me help
you up
170
00:07:33,883 --> 00:07:34,883
[Alex] I'm already up Randall.
171
00:07:34,883 --> 00:07:36,073
Come on now.
172
00:07:36,073 --> 00:07:37,073
What are you doing?
173
00:07:37,073 --> 00:07:38,073
[Randall to Deborah] I'm so sorry ma'am
174
00:07:38,073 --> 00:07:43,843
[Randall to Alex] physical contact or any
residence is strictly forbidden! okay?
175
00:07:43,843 --> 00:07:44,843
But i got her!
176
00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:47,764
Listen to me that is Deborah Cooper, you know
what?
177
00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:49,393
She is a resident
178
00:07:49,393 --> 00:07:54,123
[Deborah] Not just a resident, a member of
the homeowners association that hired you
179
00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:56,393
Yes, yeah
180
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:57,533
HOA?
181
00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:59,813
Yeah, HOA.
182
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:07,693
Ms. Cooper I am so [__] sorry please don't
fire me, I really really need this job.
183
00:08:07,693 --> 00:08:13,083
I've just had an incredibly [__] day you've
seen it. and I've got bills, Deborah, you
184
00:08:13,083 --> 00:08:17,073
know about bills...and they want rent like
every month.
185
00:08:17,073 --> 00:08:18,883
What's wrong with every other month?
186
00:08:18,883 --> 00:08:20,182
Just please.
187
00:08:20,182 --> 00:08:24,633
Don't worry, I'm sure you won't have to be
concerned with having an apartment much longer.
188
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:28,043
uh-uh Ms.Cooper uh he's just a little over
anxious, okay?
189
00:08:28,043 --> 00:08:30,503
We were looking for a dog around here, you
know?
190
00:08:30,503 --> 00:08:32,433
You were looking for a dog?
191
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:33,433
Yes
192
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,513
Okay, do I look like a dog to you?
193
00:08:35,513 --> 00:08:36,513
No.
194
00:08:36,513 --> 00:08:37,513
Uh-huh.
195
00:08:37,513 --> 00:08:38,513
No.
196
00:08:38,513 --> 00:08:41,933
So if this is the level of professionalism
I can expect we might need to rethink this
197
00:08:41,933 --> 00:08:42,943
entire program.
198
00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,873
Mrs Mrs Mrs...Cooper we were going around
199
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:46,903
Go ahead and make an excuse
200
00:08:46,903 --> 00:08:49,023
No and then way no no no you're
201
00:08:49,023 --> 00:08:51,933
Keep it coming,
202
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:52,933
AHEM
203
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:53,933
What?!
204
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:59,133
Mrs cooper are you participating in the neighborhood
lawn maintenance competition this year?
205
00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:01,233
Well of course I am, I have a title to defend.
206
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:02,533
A title to defend?
207
00:09:02,533 --> 00:09:09,373
You know that's interesting to me, Randall
because I'm curious as to how laxatives may
208
00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:14,873
play a little part in your title defense plan.
209
00:09:14,873 --> 00:09:17,663
These...- caught brown-handed.
210
00:09:17,663 --> 00:09:25,583
Gentlemen, it could be that I jumped the gun
211
00:09:25,583 --> 00:09:31,493
I think...I think...we could work something
out.
212
00:09:31,493 --> 00:09:36,173
Wooo can't believe she caved.
213
00:09:36,173 --> 00:09:42,463
But who the [__] gives their dogs laxatives
just to [__] on a competitor's lawn?
214
00:09:42,463 --> 00:09:46,463
That is the most suburban mom [__] I have
ever heard of in my life.
215
00:09:46,463 --> 00:09:51,983
I think it's a bit deeper than that ...
216
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:53,743
What do you mean?
217
00:09:53,743 --> 00:09:55,813
Mrs Cooper doesn't have a dog.
218
00:09:55,813 --> 00:10:02,243
What do you mean she doesn't have a dog?
219
00:10:02,243 --> 00:10:21,113
If she doesn't have a dog then who's sh...?
220
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:25,713
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