Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[ SILENCE ]

>> HEY, LET'S TAKE A PICTURE.

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

HONEY, GET THE KIDS.

GATHER AROUND, EVERYBODY.

SMILE. ON THE COUNT OF 3.

1, 2, 3...

SUCK MY DICK, MOTHERFUCKER!

WOOP-WOOP!

WE GONNA FUCK YOU UP!

>> FUCK OFF.

>> WELCOME TO CLUB

VINCENZO FERRARO.

[ ZAPPING ]

THE DRESS CODE -- GENTLEMEN,

SUNGLASSES ON AND COLLARS POPPED

AT ALL TIMES.

LADIES, PANTIES OFF AND CLEAVAGE

UP AT ALL TIMES.

PLEASE UNBUCKLE YOUR SAFETY

BELTS AND STAND FROM YOUR SEATS

NOW.

CLAP

[ CLAPPING ]

PLEASE REMOVE ALL DRUGS FROM

YOUR POCKETS...

AND DO THEM...

NOW.

>> [ SNIFFING ]

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> FIST READY.

CLUB OPENS IN...

FIVE...

FOUR...

THREE...

TWO...

AND PUMP NOW.

>> DO I TALK TO YOU OR DO I TALK

TO THE CAMERA?

THEY USUALLY CALL ME

"VINNY THE CHIN," YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE, LIKE, EVERY TIME I GET

PUNCHED IN THE FUCKING HEAD, I

DON'T GO DOWN.

I GOT A GOOD CHIN.

IT'S LIKE A ROCK.

RIGHT NOW, I LIVE IN MASSAPEQUA,

NEW YORK, BUT I'M ORIGINALLY

FROM QUEENS.

RIGHT AROUND FUCKING APRIL 30th,

I GOT ABOUT FOUR WEEKS TO BLOW

UP FOR FUCKING MEMORIAL DAY

WEEKEND, AND I GET FUCKING HUGE.

BUT I JUST DO SO MUCH FUCKING

JUICE, I JUICE -- RIGHT NOW, YOU

SAY, "THIS GUY DON'T LOOK LIKE

HE DOES A LOT OF JUICE."

THAT'S 'CAUSE IT'S FUCKING

OFF-SEASON.

STEROIDS, NEW FUCKING HAIRCUT,

SUNGLASSES THAT YOU CAN SEE MY

EYES, BUT THEY DON'T PROTECT ME

FROM THE SUN.

I JUST BANG HO-BAGS EVERY

FUCKING WEEKEND.

THAT'S ME -- VINCENZO FERRARO,

BEST-LOOKING GUY HERE.

HIDE YOUR DAUGHTERS 'CAUSE I'M

COMING TO FUCK 'EM.

VINNY THE CHIN.

I'M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE, MOM

AND DAD.

YEAH.

>> SO, WE MADE A SHORT SKIT

MAKING FUN OF ALL THESE GUIDOS.

IT WAS AN INSTANT SUCCESS.

WITHIN THE FIRST WEEK, IT WENT

VIRAL.

>> I WOULD DEFINITELY SAY IT

BECAME A POP-CULTURE PHENOMENON

BECAUSE EVERYBODY WAS QUOTING IT

AND EVEN MAKING THEIR OWN

PARODIES OF IT ON THE INTERNET.

>> YEAH, THERE WAS HUNDREDS OF

PARODIES. IT WAS CRAZY.

>> OUR VIEWS JUMPED BY MILLIONS

OF HITS WITHIN SEVERAL DAYS.

>> YEAH. SO, IN 2008, THIS

PRODUCER CONTACTS US AND WANTS

TO DO A REALITY SHOW ABOUT THE

STEREOTYPICAL NEW YORK/

NEW JERSEY GUIDO.

>> AND THIS WAS WAY BEFORE

"JERSEY SHORE" CAME OUT ON MTV.

>> YEAH, SO, WE SENT OUT FLIERS

ALL AROUND NEW JERSEY AND

LONG ISLAND AND LOOKED FOR

POSSIBLE CAST MEMBERS.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT'S THIS FAT BITCH DOING?

WHERE THE FUCK YOU GOING, YOU

FUCKING FAT BITCH?

SO, ANYWAY, MY FRIEND GIVES ME

THIS FUCKING FLIER, AND IT'S

BASICALLY FOR THIS REALITY SHOW.

I'M LIKE, "THIS IS PERFECT,

BECAUSE I'M ALREADY A STAR IN

REALITY ALREADY."

>> SO, WE INTERVIEW ALL THESE

PEOPLE FROM LONG ISLAND, AND

THEN VINNY WALKS IN.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> SO, I ROLL IN THERE, AND

THERE'S THESE TWO FUCKING

SUPER-DORK LOSERS.

ONE HAS LESS STYLE THAN THE NEXT

ONE.

>> SO, HE SITS DOWN AND OPENS

HIS MOUTH, AND BEFORE THE FIRST

QUESTION, WE KNEW...

>> THIS WAS THE GUY.

>> THIS BITCH IS COMING OUT TO

GET HER FUCKING BALL.

WATCH THE FUCKING CARS, BITCH.

GO, BITCH. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

SMILE, RUN TO DADDY.

GET YOUR FUCKING BALL.

YEAH, NO PROBLEM, ASSHOLE.

>> AFTER THE INTERVIEW, WE

COULDN'T GET ENOUGH.

WE THREW HIS INTERVIEW ONLINE,

AND IT BLEW UP.

PEOPLE WANTED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT

VINNY THE CHIN, WHO HE WAS, AND

WHAT HE WAS ALL ABOUT.

>> SO, THE PRODUCER DECIDED TO

SCRAP THE REALITY-SHOW IDEA

ALTOGETHER AND DO A DOCUMENTARY

JUST ON VINNY.

SO WE CONTACTED HIM TO SEE IF

HE'D BE INTERESTED.

>> SO, I SAID, "YEAH, I'LL BE IN

YOUR PIECE-OF-SHIT MOVIE FOR

YOUR FUCKING DUMB PRODUCTION

COMPANY," YOU KNOW?

AND IT DIDN'T SURPRISE ME THE

LEAST THAT THEY WANT TO FOLLOW

ME AROUND WITH A CAMERA, ALL

RIGHT?

BECAUSE THAT MAKES PERFECT

BUSINESS SENSE, 'CAUSE THEN NOW

ALL THE SUPER-DORK LOSERS OUT

THERE WILL FINALLY LEARN HOW TO

GET SOME PUSSY.

AND THEY PAID ME A FEW BUCKS,

BUT I SPENT IT THAT NIGHT.

YEAH, WE WENT OUT TO THE CLUB

THAT NIGHT.

>> AFTER DOING SOME RESEARCH, WE

FOUND OUT VINNY IS A LEGEND ON

LONG ISLAND.

EVERYONE'S HEARD OF HIM AND KNEW

WHO HE WAS.

>> SO, VINNY WAS IN, AND WE

COULDN'T WAIT TO FOLLOW HIM

AROUND AND SEE WHAT AN AVERAGE

DAY WAS LIKE AND FIND OUT WHERE

HE HUNG OUT.

>> EVERY SATURDAYS, I COME TO

CHURCH AND I DO MY CONFESSIONS

FOR THE WEEK AND I TELL THE

PRIEST ALL MY SINS AND BASICALLY

JUST BE HONEST WITH HIM.

[ CHOIR SINGING ]

>> IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND

OF THE SON AND OF THE

HOLY SPIRIT.

>> BLESS ME, FATHER, FOR I HAVE

SINNED.

IT'S BEEN ABOUT A WEEK SINCE MY

LAST CONFESSION, AND I'M STILL A

PIECE OF SHIT.

>> IF WE CONFESS OUR SINS, HE IS

RIGHTFUL AND JUST AND WILL

FORGIVE OUR SINS AND CLEANSE US

OF ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.

TRUSTING IN THESE PROMISES,

CONFESS YOUR SINS TO GOD.

>> BASICALLY, FATHER, I CAN'T

CONTROL MYSELF.

I JUST BANG ALL THESE WOMEN AND

I USE THEM FOR THEIR BODIES.

I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE -- FAT

WOMEN, SKINNY WOMEN, YOUNG

WOMEN, OLD WOMEN, CHINESE WOMEN,

HANDICAP WHEELCHAIR WOMEN.

I JUST BANG THEM ALL.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

EXCEPT FOR BLACK WOMEN.

THAT'S NOT REALLY MY STYLE, IF

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, UNLESS

IT'S LIL' KIM, OF COURSE.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, I JUST BANG

HO-BAGS ALL DAY LONG.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING, RIGHT?

LIKE, WHEN YOU GO OUT AND YOU

SEE A HOT GIRL LIKE, "OH, THAT'S

NICE, YOU KNOW?"

YOU JUST WANT TO GRAB HER RIGHT

THERE AND START FUCKING, YOU

KNOW?

>> DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SINS

YOU WANT TO CONFESS TO GOD?

>> YES, I ALSO DO DRUGS, LIKE

STEROIDS, 'CAUSE I LIKE BEING

BIG AND HAVING THE MUSCLES, ALL

RIGHT?

YOU CAN'T TELL RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE

IT'S OFF-SEASON, BUT HERE, FEEL.

YOU CAN TOUCH.

I'M NOT NO LITTLE KID.

I WON'T RAT ON YOU.

NICE, RIGHT?

AND I ALSO DO COKE, BUT ONLY ON

THE WEEKENDS, LIKE TONIGHT, YOU

KNOW?

AND I WOULD GO TO REHAB, BUT I

FIGURED I WOULD JUST COME SEE

YOU, AND YOU PUT THE GOOD WORD

IN WITH JESUS FOR ME.

>> ON THE AUTHORITY OF

JESUS CHRIST COMMITTED UNTO ME,

I SAY TO YOU YOUR SINS ARE

FORGIVEN IN THE NAME OF THE

FATHER AND OF THE SON --

>> NO, FATHER, NOT YET.

I'M NOT DONE YET.

I ALSO HAVE A JEW FRIEND --

UNFORTUNATELY, I KNOW -- AND HE

TELLS ME THERE'S NO JESUS, YOU

KNOW, SO I PUNCH HIM IN HIS

MOUTH.

YEAH.

>> YOU SHOULD NEVER LAY YOUR

HANDS ON ANOTHER OR STRIKE

ANOTHER MAN.

>> EVEN IF HE SAID SOME SHIT

ABOUT JESUS, YOU WOULD NEVER

PUNCH SOMEBODY IN THE FACE?

>> NO.

>> THEN I GUESS I LOVE JESUS

MORE THAN YOU DO.

I LOVE JESUS THE MOST.

>> ANYTHING ELSE YOU WISH TO

SHARE WITH THE LORD?

>> I'M GOOD.

>> I SUGGEST YOU CARRY A SMALL

REMINDER OF JESUS WITH YOU AT

ALL TIMES SO WHEN YOU DO SWAY,

YOU'LL BE REMINDED OF HOW HE

INTENDS FOR YOU TO LIVE YOUR

LIFE.

ALSO, FOR PENANCE, SAY FIVE

"OUR FATHERS."

>> I'LL SAY SIX FOR EXTRA

CREDIT.

>> THE LORD BLESS YOU AND WATCH

OVER YOU.

THE LORD MAKE HIS FACE SHINE

UPON YOU AND BE GRACIOUS TO YOU.

THE LORD BE KIND TO YOU AND GIVE

YOU PEACE.

IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND OF

THE SON AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH, FATHER.

THANK YOU.

NOW, DO YOU HAVE BIGGER CROSSES?

I WANT REAL BIG.

>> WELL, THIS IS, LIKE, ONE OF

THE BIGGEST ONES THAT WE HAVE.

>> THAT'S -- I NEED MORE JESUS

THAN THIS.

>> SURE.

THESE ARE KIND OF LARGE CROSSES

HERE.

>> I CAN GET A CHAIN, LIKE, FOR

THIS, LIKE THIS HERE.

>> OH, WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE?

>> LIKE THIS.

>> WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE? WOW.

>> NO, LIKE THIS.

LIKE, THIS IS --

>> THAT BIG?

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YEAH. LIKE THIS.

>> THAT'S ACTUALLY ON A WALL.

>> THESE ARE WALL ONES?

WELL, MY UNCLE MAKES BIG CHAINS.

THAT'S PRETTY BIG.

THIS IS BIG, TOO.

>> THIS IS PRETTY BIG.

>> THIS IS BIG, BUT THIS IS,

LIKE, THE MOST JESUS.

>> OKAY.

>> AND DO YOU HAVE ONE WHERE

HE'S NOT, YOU KNOW, LOOKING DOWN

SO DREARY ALL THE TIME?

LIKE, MAYBE SMILING AND STUFF?

>> HMM.

>> LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE --

>> LIKE A LAUGHING CHRIST,

RIGHT?

>> YEAH, YEAH.

LIKE SOMETHING HAPPY.

HE'S ALWAYS LOOKING ALL GLOOM,

YOU KNOW?

>> THEY DON'T MAKE HIM SMILING

TOO MUCH WHEN HE'S ON THE CROSS.

>> NONE OF THOSE.

>> BECAUSE I GUESS HE WAS

SUFFERING QUITE A BIT, YOU KNOW?

>> THIS ONE'S NOT THAT BAD.

OKAY, THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC

HAPPENS.

OVER HERE, THIS IS THE PLACE

THAT KEEPS ME SEXY ALL THE TIME

WITH THE NEW HAIRCUT.

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE NEW HAIRCUT.

IF YOU HAVE AN OLD HAIRCUT,

YOU'RE BEAT, ALL RIGHT?

EVERY WEEKEND, I GET THE NEW

HAIRCUT.

USUALLY, SOMETIMES, MY SISTER

CUTS MY HAIR, BUT WE'RE NOT

TALKING RIGHT NOW.

>> FUCK HIM.

THAT PIECE-OF-SHIT LOSER OWES ME

$300 FROM LAST YEAR, AND HE HAS

THE BALLS TO CALL ME UP TO BE

LIKE, "OH, YO, CAN YOU CUT MY

HAIR?

I'M GOING OUT TONIGHT."

FUCKING CUT THIS.

I TOLD HIM, "MOVE OUT OF FUCKING

MOM'S HOUSE."

CURRENTLY, I'M BACK HOME WITH MY

MOTHER.

I LIVE HERE.

SHE KICKED ME OUT, BUT I'M

USUALLY BACK AND FORTH

SOMETIMES.

I'LL LIVE WITH MY FRIENDS AND

THEN MAYBE I'LL LIVE WITH SOME

WHORE WHO I PRETEND IS MY

GIRLFRIEND.

I'LL TELL HER I LOVE HER UNTIL I

FIND SOMEWHERE BETTER TO LIVE,

UNTIL MY MOTHER TAKES ME BACK.

AND I'M NOT REALLY EMBARRASSED,

'CAUSE ITALIANS -- WE HAVE THE

TRUE LOVE.

BASICALLY, THEY ACCEPT YOU AND

LET YOU IN BACK AND FORTH ALL

THE TIME.

IT'S NOT LIKE THESE OTHER

PIECE-OF-SHIT CULTURES, WHERE

YOU TURN 18 AND THEY FUCKING

KICK YOU OUT AND THEY MAKE YOU

GET A JOB, ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT REAL LOVE IS.

SO, HERE, THIS IS MY ROOM HERE.

PLEASE IGNORE THE MESS.

I DON'T REALLY WANT TO SHOW YOU

GUYS REALLY WHAT I GOT IN HERE

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYBODY

BITING MY STYLE, BUT I'LL SHOW

YOU REAL QUICK -- ALL RIGHT? --

FROM HERE.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT.

THAT'S ALL I'M SHOWING YOU, ALL

RIGHT?

BUT EVEN IF YOU DID, ALL YOU

FUCKING HERB-ASS LOSERS, EVEN IF

YOU DID WANT TO BITE MY STYLE,

YOU COULD NEVER LOOK AS GOOD AS

ME IN MY CLOTHES, ALL RIGHT?

SO, THEN HERE WE GO TO THE OTHER

DOUBLE-EDGED MIRROR DOOR.

OKAY, IN HERE, I GOT ALL THE

FUCKING BEST CLOTHES, ALL THE

FLASHY BANDANAS HERE, AND, OF

COURSE, YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE

BELT BUCKLE THAT SHOWS YOU WHERE

YOU'RE FROM AND YOUR HERITAGE,

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T REPRESENT

WHERE YOU'RE FROM, THEN YOU'RE A

PIECE-OF-SHIT SCUMBAG.

OKAY, FROM HERE -- OH, OVER

HERE, THIS IS BASICALLY WHERE I

SNEAK THE WHORES IN AT NIGHT

SOMETIMES, THROUGH THE WINDOW.

THEY'LL COME IN HERE.

I'LL HAVE THAT SET UP FOR THEM.

AND THEN, BASICALLY, I'M A

GENTLEMEN, AND I ESCORT THEM TO

THEIR FINAL DESTINATION, WHICH

IS OVER HERE, WHICH IS WHERE I

CLEAN THEIR CLOCKS.

OVER HERE IS THE BATHROOM, OR

WHAT I LIKE TO CALL IS THE

BOOTH, 'CAUSE THIS IS WHERE THE

TRANSFORMATION HAPPENS.

I GO THROUGH THE TRANSFORMATION

FROM ORDINARY SUPERMAN TO

VINNY THE CHIN.

MOST PEOPLE COME IN THE BOOTH AS

CLARK KENT AND TRANSFORM TO

SUPERMAN.

THE NEXT LEVEL ABOVE SUPERMAN IS

VINNY THE CHIN, ALL RIGHT?

SO, BASICALLY, CLARK KENT...

SUPERMAN...VINNY THE CHIN.

SOMETIMES, ALSO, I'LL BRING

GIRLS IN HERE TO FUCK, 'CAUSE

I'VE BEEN CAUGHT BY MOM IN MY

ROOM, SO WHAT I'LL DO IS -- I'LL

BRING THEM IN HERE.

AND IF THEY'RE HOT, THEY GET THE

MIRROR, AND I FUCK THEM.

I LOOK IN THE MIRROR SO I CAN

SEE THEIR FACE.

IF THEY'RE A FUCKING GHOUL, THEY

GET THE WALL, AND I TURN THEM

THIS WAY.

THIS IS MY MOTHER, WHO I LOVE

VERY DEARLY HERE, ALL RIGHT?

EVEN THOUGH SHE'S A PAIN IN MY

ASS.

I SUPPORT HER THROUGH EVERYTHING

SHE DOES, LIKE, FOR INSTANCE,

RIGHT NOW, SHE HAS A WEIGHT

PROBLEM WITH BEING FAT, SO I GO

TO ALL HER WEIGHT MEETINGS FOR

SUPPORT.

>> THAT'S FROM HAVING YOU KIDS.

>> YOU HAD KIDS 30 YEARS AGO,

ALL RIGHT?

THE "OCTOMOM" POPPED OUT LIKE 14

FUCKING KIDS LAST WEEK, AND SHE

ISN'T A FAT PIG LIKE YOU.

>> SO, WE WANTED TO KNOW -- WHAT

DROVE VINNY?

WHAT WERE HIS GOALS IN LIFE?

>> THE ONLY THING VINNY'S REALLY

PASSIONATE ABOUT AND MAKES IT

HIS GOAL THIS YEAR OR EVERY

YEAR, IT SEEMS, IS TO BE IN

SHAPE, BE TAN, AND GET READY TO

PARTY IN THE HAMPTONS FOR THE

SUMMERTIME.

>> MORE SPECIFICALLY,

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND AT

NEPTUNE'S BEACH CLUB.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND IS, LIKE,

WHEN ALL THE CLUBS OPEN OVER THE

SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS, AND

NEPTUNE'S IS THE KING OF ALL

CLUBS.

>> WHAT I LIVE FOR AND EVERYBODY

ELSE ON LONG ISLAND LIVES FOR IS

SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS -- ALL

RIGHT? -- NEPTUNE'S -- ALL

RIGHT? -- MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.

IF YOU'RE ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE

WORLD AND IT'S THE SUMMERTIME

AND IT'S NOT NEW YORK,

LONG ISLAND, THEN YOU'RE BEAT.

YOU'RE A HERB-ASS LOSER, ALL

RIGHT?

AND, BASICALLY, EVERYONE ELSE'S

SAYING IS "LIFE IS SHORT, PLAY

HARD.

OURS IS "LIFE IS SHORT, PLAY

HUGE," ALL RIGHT?

WHAT WE DO IS -- WE SAVE OUR

MONEY IN THE WINTERTIME AND WE

COME OUT IN THE SUMMERTIME ALL

JACKED UP AND SEXY, LOOKING LIKE

THE SHIT, ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT HAPPENS.

AND MOST THE TIME AROUND THIS

TIME, I DON'T HAVE A JOB, AND

MONEY'S HARD TO COME BY, 'CAUSE

MOST BOSSES ARE ON A POWER TRIP,

AND THEY'RE ASSHOLES.

>> SO, WE BROUGHT VINNY TO A

PSYCHIC TO SEE IF HIS DREAMS

WOULD COME TRUE THIS YEAR.

>> GOOD?

>> ACTION.

>> THEY GOT ME COMING HERE,

SEEING A PSYCHIC AND SHIT.

>> DON'T REFER TO US.

JUST SAY YOU'RE HERE.

>> I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE HERE.

I'M COMING HERE FOR YOU TWO

HOLLYWOOD ASSHOLES, ALL RIGHT?

I ALREADY KNOW MY FUTURE.

IT'S BE THE BEST-LOOKING GUY

HERE AND GET PUSSY, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS PSYCHIC

SHIT.

>> I'LL NEED YOU TO SHUFFLE THE

CARDS AND MAKE THREE PILES,

PLEASE.

>> SHUFFLE, SHUFFLE, SHUFFLE,

SHUFFLE.

>> PICK THE PILE YOU FEEL MOST

DRAWN TO.

WHATEVER I'M GOING TO SEE FOR

YOU, GOOD, BAD, OR HORRIBLE, I'M

FORCED BY GOD.

CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT?

>> YEAH. ME AND JESUS -- WE'RE

CLOSE.

>> ASK YOUR FIRST QUESTION,

PLEASE.

>> UM...DO I GOT THE TOUGHEST

CHIN AROUND EVER?

>> I DO SEE YOU TO BE VERY

TOUGH, BUT I'VE SEEN TOUGHER MEN

THAN YOU.

>> SO, WHY YOU GOT ME COMING TO

THIS BULLSHIT HERE?

>> ASK HER ANOTHER QUESTION.

>> WILL I MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO

BUY JUICE TO GET IN SHAPE FOR

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND THIS SUMMER

IN THE HAMPTONS?

>> JUICE?

>> YEAH, STEROIDS.

>> YES, I DO SEE A VERY

POTENT -- VERY, VERY POTENT

GRADE OF STEROIDS.

>> SEE? I TOLD YOU.

I'M ALWAYS IN SHAPE, ALWAYS

READY FOR THE HAMPTONS, SUMMER,

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.

I TOLD YOU.

WILL I ALSO GET A LOT OF PUSSY

AND HAVE A GREAT BLAST WITH MY

BOYS AND "DA BEAK" MEMORIAL DAY

WEEKEND AT NEPTUNE'S?

>> IN FACT, MEMORIAL DAY

WEEKEND, I SEE YOU TO BE ALONE.

I DO NOT SEE YOU GOING TO

NEPTUNE'S.

IT SHOWS A GREAT DEAL OF PAINFUL

SADNESS.

>> WHERE ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

WHERE THE FUCK YOU LOOKING AT?

WHY YOU GOT ME COMING TO THIS

VOODOO BITCH HERE?

>> IT'S FOR THE DOCUMENTARY.

>> ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, DON'T

DISRESPECT ME, SIR.

>> NO, NO. SHH.

DOCUMENT SHIT THAT I REALLY DO.

I DON'T COME TO FUCKING GYPSIES

EVERY WEEK FOR THEM TO TELL ME

BULLSHIT.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, SHE'S GONNA

TELL ME THAT SHE TALKS TO

PATRICK SWAYZE.

>> I DON'T DO READINGS LIKE

THAT, OKAY?

>> YEAH, YOU DON'T ANY TYPE OF

READINGS, ALL RIGHT?

I'M GONNA DO A FUCKING READING

FOR YOU.

WATCH THIS.

ZIM, ZIM, ZALA BIM.

ZIM, ZIM, ZALA BIM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE?

YOU'RE GONNA SMELL LIKE CAT PISS

NEXT WEEK, TOO, YOU'RE STILL

GONNA DRESS LIKE AN ASSHOLE, AND

YOUR FUCKING APARTMENT'S STILL

GONNA LOOK LIKE IT'S HALLOWEEN

IN HERE.

THAT'S WHAT I SEE.

>> I NEED YOU TO LEAVE NOW.

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I AM LEAVING.

YOU'RE GONNA TRY TO TELL ME -- I

GO TO NEPTUNE'S EVERY YEAR.

>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO

NEPTUNE'S.

>> YEAH, I GO EVERY YEAR.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOUR PRESENT'S BEAT.

YOUR PAST IS BEAT.

YOUR FUTURE'S BEAT.

YOUR FACE IS FUCKING BEAT.

I'M OUT OF HERE, ALL RIGHT?

COME ON. GET OUT OF HERE.

I WON'T GO TO NEPTUNE'S.

>> NO, YOU'RE NOT GOING.

>> AND I GET PUSSY EVERY YEAR.

>> YOU'RE GONNA BE ALONE.

>> I GET PUSSY EVERY YEAR AND I

GO TO NEPTUNE'S EVERY YEAR.

>> VINNY WAS NOT HAPPY TO HEAR

WHAT THE PSYCHIC HAD TO SAY

ABOUT HIS CHIN.

HE WAS VERY EAGER TO PROVE ALL

HIS DOUBTERS WRONG, YOU KNOW,

PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T THINK HE WAS

FOR REAL.

>> THEY WANT TO SEE IF THE

CHIN'S REAL.

I'LL SHOW THEM HOW FUCKING REAL

THE CHIN IS.

I'LL COME IN HERE, KARATE DOJO.

I'LL SHOW YOU I'M THE ALPHA MALE

HERE.

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> NOT NOW, TOOTS, ALL RIGHT?

>> ARE YOU -- DO YOU HAVE A GI.

>> YEAH, THIS IS MY GI RIGHT

HERE, ALL RIGHT?

THIS IS MY GI RIGHT HERE, ALL

RIGHT?

HEY, YOU A BUNCH OF FIGHTERS IN

HERE?

YOU A BUNCH OF KUNG FU NINJAS IN

HERE, RIGHT?

COME KICK MY ASS THEN.

VINNY THE CHIN.

>> EXCUSE ME. CAN I HELP YOU?

>> YEAH, YOU THE DRAGON MASTER?

ALL RIGHT, COME KICK MY ASS

THEN, DRAGON MASTER.

>> LISTEN, IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A

CLASS, WE CAN SIT DOWN AND WE

CAN GO OVER EVERYTHING, BUT

RIGHT NOW, I NEED YOU TO LEAVE

THE TRAINING ROOM.

>> I'M GONNA TAKE A CLASS WHY?

'CAUSE YOU'RE CHINESE?

YOU GONNA SHOW ME HOW TO BEAT

PEOPLE UP?

I DON'T CARE HOW CHINESE YOU

ARE.

I'LL STILL KICK YOUR ASS, BRUCE.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON, DO YOUR

"KARATE KID" MOVES.

COME DO YOUR MOVES TO ME.

COME DO THEM.

>> ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, DON'T HAVE

ME CALL THE COPS RIGHT NOW, ALL

RIGHT?

JUST LEAVE THE TRAINING ROOM.

>> OH, YOU'RE GONNA CALL THE

COPS TO SAVE YOU, ALL RIGHT?

YOU KNOW WHY?

'CAUSE I'LL BREAK YOUR ASS AND

I'LL PULL THE FORTUNE OUT.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S GONNA SAY?

YOU'RE A PUSSY.

AND YOU'RE A PUSSY.

AND MIYAGI ON THE WALL OVER

THERE IS A PUSSY.

EVEN THE KID, THE LITTLE PUSSY

OVER THERE.

I'M OUT OF HERE, ALL RIGHT?

AND KUNG FU ONLY WORKS IN THE

MOVIES AND IN SLOW MOTION,

CROUCHING TIGER.

I COME IN YOUR DOJO WITH MY

SNEAKERS ON AND DISRESPECT IT.

>> SO, AFTER VINNY SHOWED US

AROUND HIS HOMETOWN, WE GOT THE

GIST OF WHERE HE WAS FROM AND

WHAT HE WAS ALL ABOUT, BUT WHAT

WE WANTED TO KNOW WAS WHO HE

HUNG OUT WITH AND WHO HIS

FRIENDS WERE.

>> HERE WE ARE AT FUCKING

VINNY DA BEAK'S HOUSE.

YO, BEAK!

>> YO!

>> YO, BEAK, COME OUT.

SUMMER 2010, VINNY THE CHIN,

VINNY DA FUCKING BEAK HERE,

NEPTUNE'S, HAMPTONS.

>> STOMPING THE FUCKING DECK.

>> FUCK THE FIST PUMP.

>> FUCK THE PUMP. WE STOMP.

>> THE FIST PUMP IS BASICALLY

THE FUCKING WARM-UP FOR FUCKING

WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING.

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

THE FIST PUMP.

OH, YOU'RE FEELING GOOD, YOU'RE

FEELING GOOD, THE BEAT.

BUT THEN IT GOES INTO THE

FUCKING CLAP.

AND THEN IT GOES FROM THE CLAP,

AND WE START FUCKING STOMPING.

>> STOMPING THE FUCKING DECK.

>> BUILD IT. WE BUILD IT.

YOU NEED TO BUILD IT.

>> SO YOU JUST, LIKE, JUMP OFF

AND DO, LIKE, A DOUBLE STOMP.

AND YOU'RE LIKE...

>> SHOW THEM.

TELL THEM HOW TO STOMP.

SHOW THEM.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

>> FUCK THE PUMP. WE STOMP.

WE'LL SHOW YOU WHERE WE WORK

OUT.

RIGHT NOW, IT'S, LIKE,

OFF-SEASON, 'CAUSE IT'S NOT

MAY 1st YET.

THAT'S WHEN I START PUMPING THE

FUCKING MONSTER CYCLE.

FUCKING RIGHT NOW, IT'S JUST

FUCKING, YOU KNOW, A LOT OF

CARBS AND A LOT OF FUCKING

MILITARY PRESSES RIGHT NOW.

SO, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU SOME

BASIC SHIT TILL MAY 1st.

>> SPOT?

>> YEAH, I'M GONNA NEED A LITTLE

SPOT.

READY?

>> ON 3.

>> 1, 2, EH-EH.

EH!

EH!

>> ALL YOU.

>> EH!

>> ALL YOU. NOT EVEN TOUCHING.

>> WHOO!

>> NOT EVEN TOUCHING.

>> 1,370 HOURS TO STOMP THE

DECK!

>> NOT EVEN TOUCHING. GO.

>> YEAH, BABY!

>> ALL YOU.

>> WHOO!

>> ALL YOU.

>> THAT'S A LITTLE PREVIEW.

THAT'S A LITTLE PREVIEW OF

WHAT'S GOING ON.

OOH!

>> HERE WE ARE AT MY GOOD

FRIEND'S HOUSE AND ALSO IS LIKE

A BIG BROTHER TO ME, ALL RIGHT?

THIS IS "O.G." BOBBY G.

HE WAS THROUGH WITH IT BEFORE I

KNEW WHAT TO DO WITH IT, ALL

RIGHT?

HE TOOK ME UNDER HIS WING AND

SHOWED ME EVERYTHING I KNOW.

>> YO, I GOT TO GO.

WRAP IT UP, THOUGH.

VINCENZO, WHAT'S UP, KID?

HOW ARE YOU, MAN?

YOU ROLLIN' HEAVY WITH YOUR

CREW?

>> YOU KNOW HOW I DO.

>> BIG TIME NOW, HUH?

>> THAT'S WHY YOU TOOK ME UNDER

YOUR WING, YOU KNOW?

>> OH, SHIT.

I SAW THE POTENTIAL.

YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW.

COME ON IN.

>> THIS IS O.G. BOBBY G, AND THE

O.G. STANDS FOR "ORIGINAL

GUIDO."

>> GUIDOS, 100%.

>> YEAH, I DON'T LIKE TO GET

INTO FIGHTS ANYMORE, LIKE MY MAN

VINNY HERE.

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, HE'S GETTING

KIND OF OLD RIGHT NOW.

>> I TOLD HIM -- WE GOT TO SLOW

DOWN A LITTLE BIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

WE NEED AN INSURANCE POLICY.

IT'S TIME TO SLOW DOWN, MAKE AN

INVESTMENT.

>> SHOW HIM YOUR INSURANCE

POLICY.

>> I TOLD HIM -- IT'S JUST AN

INVESTMENT, MAN.

>> HE'LL JUST FUCKING SHOOT YOU

NOW.

NO MORE KNUCKLES TO THE FACE, NO

MORE PUNCHING, NO MORE CALL MY

BOYS ON THE PHONE.

HE TAKES HIS GUN.

HE AIMS IT.

HE FUCKING SHOOTS YOU IN YOUR

FACE NOW AND HE KILLS YOU.

O.G. BOBBY G.

O.G. BOBBY G.

HE'S CRAZY. HE'S CRAZY.

HE'S FUCKING CRAZY.

>> I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

>> YEAH.

>> I DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

>> THIS, OF COURSE, HERE -- THIS

IS A PICTURE OF ME AND MY

CHILDHOOD FRIEND SINCE I WAS A

KID, "JOEY HEADZ."

RIGHT NOW, HE LIVES IN FLORIDA.

HE'S A BIG-TIME BODYGUARD TO ALL

THE CELEBRITIES IN THE WORLD,

ALL THE BIGGEST CELEBRITIES.

AND I MISS HIM DEEPLY.

WE'VE DONE SO MUCH DAMAGE

TOGETHER -- THE BODY COUNT

BETWEEN US IS RIDICULOUS.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE AIDS,

BUT WE DON'T.

JUST A FEW ITCHES HERE AND

THERE, BUT THAT'S IT, ALL RIGHT?

AND I MISS HIM DEEPLY FROM THE

BOTTOM OF MY HEART INSIDE MY

CHEST, THE TOP OF MY SOUL.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIM AGAIN

ONE DAY.

HOPEFULLY I'LL GET TO SEE HIM.

HE LIVES IN FLORIDA NOW.

>> VINNY'S A VETERAN WHEN IT

COMES TO PARTYING AND CLUBS, SO

WE ASKED HIM TO EDUCATE US ABOUT

THE NEW YORK CLUB SCENE.

>> NOW I'M GONNA SHOW YOU THE

REAL NEW YORK CLUB MUSIC.

[ HOUSE MUSIC PLAYS ]

HOUSE MUSIC IS THE REAL ORIGINAL

MUSIC OF NEW YORK DANCE CLUBS,

NONE OF THIS HIP-HOP BULLSHIT,

WHERE EVERYBODY GETS TOGETHER

AND GRINDS ON EACH OTHER'S ASSES

LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING ANIMALS,

ALL RIGHT?

NEW YORK HOUSE MUSIC IS THE

ORIGINAL CLUB MUSIC.

IT'S ALSO THE DANCE OF

SEDUCTION, ALL RIGHT?

SO, I'LL SHOW YOU A FEW MOVES TO

START YOU OUT.

FIRST, WE GOT THE REVERSE SKIP

FROM HERE.

AND, ALSO, FROM HERE, WE GOT THE

TWINKLE TOES.

AND THEN THERE'S ADVANCED

TWINKLE TOES.

THROW IN THE ARMS.

THROW IN THE ARMS AND DANCE

TWINKLE TOES.

AND THEN SIGNAL THE PLANE.

RIGHT, LEFT.

THEN ALSO GO INTO THE BIRD.

ROLL IT, ROLL IT, ROLL IT.

AND THEN, ALSO, IMMEDIATELY GOT

THE MIYAGI OR THE KARATE KID,

WHATEVER YOU PREFER, ALL RIGHT?

AND THEN YOU GOT THE FIST PUMP,

BUT MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT

THE FIST PUMP IS JUST A WARM-UP

FOR THE CLAP, AND THE CLAP'S

JUST A WARM-UP FOR THE -- FOR

THE STOMP.

AND THEN WHEN THE BASS DROPS AND

THE BEAT HITS AND THE PLACE GOES

FUCKING CRAZY, YOU DO DOUBLE

STOMP.

>> * WE, WE PARTY HARD, HARD,

HARD *

>> YOU COME OUT WITH ME TONIGHT,

I'LL SHOW YOU THE NEW YORK CLUB

SCENE.

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW WE DO IT HERE

IN NEW YORK.

>> * WE, WE PARTY HARD

>> I HAVE TO WORK ON MY -- I GOT

TO DO CARDIO.

I NEED TO WORK ON MY CARDIO.

>> * WE, WE, WE, WE

* WE PARTY HARDER THAN YOUR

SLUTTY LITTLE SISTER *

[ LAUGHS ]

>> I COULD GIVE HER MY BABIES.

>> I ACTUALLY JUST MET HIM LIKE

10 MINUTES AGO.

>> YO.

>> * WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

>> I'VE SEEN

VINNY THE FUCKING CHIN ON

YouTube.

THIS DUDE IS A YouTube

CELEBRITY.

>> YO! HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKER

RIGHT HERE!

DON'T LOOK AT ME!

LOOK AT HIM!

>> HE'S THE MOST FAMOUS

MOTHERFUCKER IN HERE, AND I'VE

BEEN ON NATIONAL TV.

>> SEE, VINNY THE CHIN -- YOU

BETTER FUCKING RECOGNIZE.

HE'S THE SHIT.

HE REPRESENTS LONG ISLAND.

>> THESE ARE FUCKING BIG BICEPS

RIGHT HERE.

>> KISS THEM, LIKE HULK HOGAN

DID.

>> OH, GIVE YOU A KISS?

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE HIM A KISS,

BABE?

GIVE HIM A KISS.

>> HE'S FUCKING VINNY THE CHIN.

>> YOU JUST TOLD ME I LOOK LIKE

A GIRL THAT HAS DOWN SYNDROME.

>> ME AND DA BEAK, CRAZY DONKEY.

THEY ALL WANT TO BE NEXT TO THE

CHIN AND DA BEAK.

THEY ALL WANT TO SAY WHAT'S UP

TO THE CHIN AND DA BEAK.

>> YO, MO, I GOT TO TAKE A

FUCKING PISS, GUY, SO FUCKING

BAD.

>> HEY, YO, LOOK AT THESE GIRLS.

>> WHAT'S UP, LADIES?

>> WHAT'S UP, BABY?

HOW YOU DOING?

>> DUDE, I GOT TO TAKE A PISS,

BRO.

I CAN'T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT IF I

CAN'T TAKE A FUCKING PISS.

BRO, MY NIGHT IS FUCKING RUINED.

>> ALL RIGHT, MEET ME IN THERE.

MEET ME IN THERE.

>> YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING LEAVE ME

LIKE THAT, MO?

>> HERE ARE THE KEYS.

MEET ME IN THERE.

LOCK IT UP, ALL RIGHT?

>> MO, I GOT YOU, SON.

>> MEET ME IN THERE.

[ HOUSE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> GO TO ONE FUCKING CLUB.

THEN YOU COME TO THE NEXT ONE.

I GOT THE NUMBERS OVER THERE.

NOW I'M COMING OVER HERE.

GLO, ONE OF THE FUCKING HOTTEST

CLUBS IN THE NATION.

LONG ISLAND, STRONG ISLAND.

WATCH HOW THE FUCK I DO IT.

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> YEAH, I KNOW VIN.

THE GUY'S, LIKE, A LEGEND IN THE

LONG ISLAND CLUB SCENE.

I'VE BEEN SERVING THIS GUY FOR

YEARS.

HE'S LIKE FUCKING SUPERMAN --

FLIES IN, ALL OVER THE PLACE.

HE'S ON TOP OF THE BAR, GOT

GIRLS DOING FUCKING SHOTS.

THE GUY'S AN ANIMAL.

PATRON ALL NIGHT LONG.

WHEN HE COMES TO THE BAR, DRINKS

ARE ON THE HOUSE.

WE GO WAY BACK.

THE GUY'S LIKE FAMILY TO ME.

RUNS LONG ISLAND.

[ DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES ]

>> FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD.

[ GROANS ]

WHERE THE FUCK IS CHIN?

THAT COCKSUCKER.

HE WENT IN BEFORE ME AGAIN.

I'M GONNA CRACK HIS FUCKING

HEAD.

BRO, HE GETS FUCKING PUSSY

BEFORE I FUCKING DO, DUDE, WE'RE

GONNA HAVE A FUCKING SITUATION

ON OUR HANDS.

I'M TELLING YOU, MO -- YOU DON'T

KNOW WHO THE FUCK I AM.

I'M VINNY DA BEAK.

I'LL MAKE YOUR BLOOD RUN.

PRICK FUCKING PRICK.

I'M GOING IN.

I GOT TO FLASH MY I.D.

I'M GOING IN.

>> * WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

>> * WE PARTY HARDER THAN YOUR

SLUTTY LITTLE SISTER *

>> * WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

>> YOU THINK I TELL STORIES?

EVERY FUCKING SATURDAY, I DO

THIS.

>> * WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

* WE, WE PARTY HARD

>> THAT'S HOW WE DO EVERY

SATURDAY NIGHT.

GOOD MEETING THERE, TOOTS.

GOOD SEEING YOU.

>> A CONSISTENT THEME IN VINNY'S

LIFE IS THAT HE'S ALWAYS BROKE.

IF HE DOES GET MONEY, HE SPENDS

IT RIGHT AWAY.

>> SUMMER WAS APPROACHING, AND

VINNY STILL DIDN'T HAVE A JOB,

WHICH MEANS HE'S GOT NO MONEY

SAVED TO GET READY FOR THE

HAMPTONS.

>> WE JUST GOT RID OF A COUPLE

OF TRAINERS, LOOKING TO BRING IN

SOME NEW BLOOD TO THE GYM.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU KEEP YOURSELF

IN SHAPE.

>> YEAH, I WORK OUT.

USUALLY, YOU KNOW, I WORK OUT

MOSTLY GETTING READY FOR

SUMMERTIME, BUT I HAVE A LOT OF

EXPERIENCE GETTING IN SHAPE AND

WORKING OUT.

>> OKAY. WHEN DO YOU THINK YOU

CAN START?

>> ACTUALLY, I COULD HAVE

STARTED YESTERDAY, 'CAUSE I

REALLY NEED THE MONEY.

SUMMER'S COMING UP, AND I COULD

USE THE MONEY TO GET IN SHAPE

FOR DIETARY SUPPLEMENTS AND FOOD

AND STUFF.

BUT, YEAH, I COULD START SOON.

>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

WELCOME TO THE TEAM.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> APPRECIATE IT.

>> GOOD. YOU'LL GIVE ME PEOPLE

AND -- YOU'LL GIVE ME THE PEOPLE

TO TRAIN?

>> I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME

MEMBERS, WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES

IN THE BEGINNING, AND WE'LL TAKE

IT ONE STEP AT A TIME.

>> OKAY, IF YOU WANT THE BIG

MUSCLES, YOU GOT TO LIFT BIG,

OKAY?

SO WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO IS --

YOU'RE GONNA LIFT HERE, GONNA

LIFT THE BIG WEIGHT, WHICH WILL

GIVE YOU THE BIG MUSCLES, WHICH

WILL, IN TURN, HAVE GIRLS WANT

TO FUCK YOU, AND THEN,

BASICALLY, WE'LL MAKE YOU A MAN.

YEAH?

OKAY, WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS GET

ON THIS.

THIS IS CALLED THE TREADMILL.

YOU PROBABLY HAVE NEVER SEEN ONE

OF THESE BEFORE.

AND WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS --

YOU'RE JUST GONNA WALK.

[ BEEP ]

>> WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHEN DO I STOP?

I MEAN, HOW LONG --

>> NEVER, ALL RIGHT?

BY THE LOOKS OF YOU, YOU JUST

NEED TO KEEP WALKING.

>> GOOD, WIDE STANCE, RIGHT?

GOOD.

RIGHT. GOOD.

NOW SIT YOUR ASS BACK.

GOOD. A LITTLE MORE.

>> DO YOU HAVE TO BE TOUCHING

ME?

>> YEAH, THIS IS HOW I GIVE YOU

A SPOT.

SO, HERE, WE'RE GONNA DO THIS

ROUTINE HERE.

IT'S GONNA PUT SOME HAIR ON YOUR

BALLS, ALL RIGHT?

ON THE COUNT OF -- YOU LEAN

BACK, LEAN BACK.

PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE BAR.

ON THE COUNT OF 3, YOU'RE GONNA

PUSH.

1, 2, 3, PUSH.

YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NEVER WALKED

BEFORE, SO --

>> I HAVE SO WALKED BEFORE.

>> YEAH, FUCKING McDONALD'S

DOESN'T COUNT.

PUSH. ALL YOU. PUSH. PUSH.

STOP PUSHING.

ALL RIGHT, SO, YOU SIT YOUR ASS

BACK JUST LIKE THAT.

A LITTLE MORE WITH --

>> I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL

COMFORTABLE WITH YOU TOUCHING

ME.

>> NO, YOU'LL GET COMFORTABLE.

THIS IS HOW A PROFESSIONAL GIVES

A SPOT RIGHT NOW.

SO, GOOD. YEAH.

>> WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR?

>> BECAUSE I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

I'M A PROFESSIONAL.

>> A PROFESSIONAL WHAT? ASSHOLE?

>> YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY A PUSSY.

YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> MM-HMM.

NO, WE HAVE A FEW MORE REPS.

WOMEN SHOULD DO LIKE 12 TO 15

REPS ON HERE.

YOU ONLY DID LIKE 4 OR 5, SO YOU

SHOULD PROBABLY --

>> BECAUSE YOU'RE GRABBING ON

ME, AND I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE

WITH THAT.

>> ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR

PROBLEM IS?

>> WHAT?

>> YOU TALK A LOT AND YOUR MOUTH

WORKS.

I SHOULD PUNCH YOU IN YOUR MOUTH

SO IT DOESN'T WORK.

THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD LOSE SOME

WEIGHT AND STOP PUTTING FUCKING

CHEESEBURGERS --

>> I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN YOUR

MOUTH.

>> YOU'RE GONNA DO THESE UNTIL

YOUR SNATCH IS NICE AND TIGHT.

>> HOW MANY DO I DO?

>> UNTIL YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE 20

AGAIN DOWN THERE.

THAT'S HOW PROFESSIONALS GIVE A

SPOT.

>> WELL, I'M PAYING YOU TO BE

PROFESSIONAL, AND YOU'RE NOT

BEING PROFESSIONAL.

>> YOU'RE PAYING ME BECAUSE I'M

A PROFESSIONAL, AND THAT'S

HOW -- YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THAT

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT A

PROFESSIONAL TRAINER, LIKE I AM.

>> OH, OKAY.

>> AND THAT'S HOW WE GIVE SPOTS.

AND YOU'LL GET USED TO IT.

>> GET ME OFF THIS MACHINE AND

TRAIN ME -- ALL RIGHT? -- LIKE

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.

WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR?

>> SO, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET

YOU ON THE JUICE, ALL RIGHT?

YEAH?

>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT SITTING

BACK A LITTLE BIT MORE.

THIS IS JUST REALLY

UNPROFESSIONAL.

LIKE, I'D REALLY LIKE TO TALK TO

YOUR MANAGER.

>> WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER?

>> LISTEN TO ME, YOU BIG BLACK

BITCH.

>> WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?

>> YOU HEARD ME.

>> I WISH I WAS 20 AGAIN.

>> YEAH, I'M SURE ALL THE GUYS

WISH YOU WERE 20 AGAIN, TOO.

YEAH.

>> OH, YEAH?

>> YEAH.

LET ME JUST CUT THE SHIT WITH

YOU, AND WE SHOULD JUST GO BACK

TO MY PLACE.

>> REALLY?

>> AND WE SHOULD CONTINUE THE

WORKOUT THERE.

>> REALLY?

>> ALL YOU. PUSH.

ALL YOU. PUSH.

ALL YOU. DON'T BE A PUSSY.

IT'S MY MOTHER'S HOUSE.

>> OH, SURPRISE, SURPRISE.

>> YEAH, SHE'S NOT HOME RIGHT

NOW.

>> WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER?

>> HE'S NOT HERE.

>> WELL, FIND HIM!

>> KEEP WALKING, FATTY.

>> WHAT?! EXCUSE ME?!

YOU BETTER GET BACK HERE, YOU

LITTLE FUCKING ITALIAN FAGGOT!

>> HEY, WE DON'T TRAIN LESBIANS

HERE, ANYWAY.

YOU MUST BE A LESBIAN.

>> LESBIANS?

>> YEAH, WELL, ONLY LESBIANS

HAVE THE TATTOOS THERE ALL OVER

THEM.

>> LESBIAN YOU WISH YOU COULD

GET AT YOUR MOM'S HOUSE.

>> YEAH, MOST OF THEM WOULD COME

BACK WITH ME, ANYWAY.

>> YEAH.

>> DYKE. YEAH.

NORMALLY -- LIKE I SAID, SHE'S A

FUCKING DYKE -- I BRING 'EM HOME

AND JUST, LIKE, BLOW 'EM OUT.

YOU'RE OLD AS FUCK, ALL RIGHT?

YOUR BONES ARE CREAKY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD FIVE

YEARS AGO.

WE NEED TO GET YOU ON THE JUICE.

>> SOUNDS GOOD.

>> YEAH, I KNOW IT SOUNDS GOOD,

YOU OLD PIECE OF SHIT.

WE NEED TO GET YOU ON THE JUICE.

I KNOW A GUY YOUR AGE.

HE LOOKS GREAT.

>> I'M 75 YEARS OLD.

I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT FOR MAYBE

A YEAR NOW AFTER I MET VINNY.

NEXT THING, HE STICKS A NEEDLE

IN MY ASS.

AND, OH, MY GOD, THAT PAIN THAT

I HAD FOR I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG.

BUT LET ME TELL YOU -- LIVING

PROOF.

THE NEXT DAY, I WOKE UP WITH THE

BIGGEST HARD-ON I EVER HAD IN MY

LIFE.

>> HIS DICK STANDS UP LIKE THIS

NOW.

HE'S 75, BUT HE CAN FUCK LIKE

HE'S 25.

>> JACK LaLANNE'S A PUSSY.

>> YEAH, FUCK JACK LaLANNE.

>> THE REAL JUICE.

>> THE REAL JUICE.

THIS IS PROOF OF THE REAL JUICE.

>> CHECK THE DIFFERENCE OUT.

>> LOOK AT THIS HERE.

SHOW THEM THE MUSCLE.

SHOW THEM THE BICEPS.

SHOW THEM HERE.

SHOW THEM THE TRICEPS.

SEE? THERE'S THE CHEST.

>> A FEW WEEKS INTO WORKING,

VINNY GETS A CALL FROM HIS

FRIEND JOEY GABEL...

>> "A.K.A. JOEY HEADZ."

>> ...WHO HAS OFF FOR THE

WEEKEND FROM BODYGUARDING.

SO HE INVITES HIM TO COME DOWN

TO FLORIDA AND PARTY AND CATCH

UP.

>> SO, WHAT DOES VINNY DO?

HE LEAVES HIS JOB.

HE EMPTIES HIS BANK ACCOUNT.

THE WHOLE REASON HE GOT THE JOB

WAS SO HE COULD GET READY FOR

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND IN

NEW YORK.

>> SO WE FLY DOWN TO FLORIDA.

>> IT'S COLD HERE IN NEW YORK.

JOEY HEADZ CALLED ME.

GOING DOWN TO FLORIDA TO SEE

HIM.

OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT, I GOT MONEY NOW.

I'M A TRAINER. I TRAIN PEOPLE.

I GOT THE NEW AIRPLANE JUMPSUIT,

THE PUMA JUMPSUIT WITH THE

ORANGE, THE FLORIDA COLOR,

'CAUSE THERE'S ORANGES THERE,

WITH THE MATCHING SNEAKERS IN

ORANGE.

YOU GOT TO GET THE JUMPSUIT TO

SIT AND CHILL ON THE AIRPLANE.

YOU GOT TO USE LIMOUSINE

SERVICE, TOO.

ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

I'M A LITTLE WORRIED RIGHT NOW.

I HOPE HE'S NOT ON MY FLIGHT.

THERE HE IS. HEADZ, JOEY HEADZ.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

I MISS HIM.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN SO LONG.

OBVIOUSLY, THERE'S NO OFF-SEASON

HERE, OBVIOUSLY, OBVIOUSLY.

HE'S LIKE 270 POUNDS RIGHT NOW.

>> 275.

>> 275. AND YOU SEE HOW WE ROLL.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> THIS IS "MARGARITA" HERE.

>> CYNTHIA, THIS IS CHIN.

>> HOLA. CYNTHIA.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU. ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

>> ROLL?

>> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S ROLL.

GRAB THAT SUIT?

>> HERE, CAN YOU GET THIS?

>> SURE.

>> THANK YOU.

MIAMI, HERE WE ARE.

THIS IS HOW WE DO THIS.

THIS IS HOW WE DO.

THIS IS HOW WE DO.

YOU GOT TO GO BIG OR GO HOME.

THIS IS IT, THE FULL, BIG

STRETCH.

JOEY HEADZ DON'T FUCK AROUND.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL HERE.

I HAVEN'T SEEN PALM TREES IN SO

LONG.

DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO CAN GET

SOME GOOD COKE RIGHT NOW?

>> YEAH.

>> NO? SHE'S COLOMBIAN, RIGHT?

LIKE, YOUR UNCLE MUST KNOW

SOMEBODY.

YOU KNOW SOMEBODY, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

>> [ SPEAKS SPANISH ]

>> WE CAN PROBABLY TAKE CARE OF

THAT.

>> YEAH?

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW.

>> YEAH. WHAT'D SHE SAY?

>> THE CAMERA.

>> OH.

>> YO, JOEY!

WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN? YOU GOOD?

>> YEAH, MAN. THIS IS VINNY.

>> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?

>> NICE TO MEET YOU.

>> SAME HERE.

>> YOU GOT TO COME THROUGH ON

FRIDAY.

>> FRIDAY? I'M OFF, MAN.

I'M GOING.

>> YO, WHERE HE AT?

>> HE'S OVER THERE, STRAIGHT

AHEAD.

>> ALL RIGHT. VIN.

MICK.

>> HEY.

>> HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

THIS IS VINNY THAT I WAS TELLING

YOU ABOUT.

>> YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU KNEW

HIM, MAN.

MICK, IT'S A PLEASURE TO MEET

YOU.

YOU'RE A LEGEND.

EVERYBODY WHO DOESN'T KNOW, THIS

IS A FUCKING LEGEND.

MICKEY MUNDAY -- DO YOUR

RESEARCH -- COCAINE COWBOYS

HERE.

LISTEN, I'M IN TOWN FOR THE

NIGHT.

I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU HAD

SOMETHING TO TAKE CARE OF ME.

I'M VISITING JOEY HERE.

>> MM...

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

WHY DON'T YOU PUT THE CAMERA

DOWN?

MAYBE WE CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT.

>> OKAY.

>> YO, YO.

>> SHUT THE CAMERAS OFF?

>> SHUT THE CAMERA OFF.

VIN, DO WHATEVER YOU'RE GONNA DO

AND THEN CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP,

BRO.

I CAN'T RIDE AROUND WITH COKE ON

MY DASHBOARD.

ALL OVER MY FUCKING CAR RIGHT

NOW, VIN.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

DUDE, YOU HAVE COKE ALL OVER

YOUR FUCKING NOSE.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I'M PULLING OVER, BRO.

>> AM I GOOD?

>> NO, YOU'RE NOT GOOD.

I'M PULLING OVER.

>> NOW GOOD?

>> NO, NO.

YOU'RE EVEN WORSE THAN THE FIRST

TIME I TOLD YOU.

WE GOT TO GO MEET BRUNO.

WE GOT FUCKING ALL THIS SHIT WE

GOT TO DO.

YOU'RE GONNA BE RETARDED.

DON'T EMBARRASS ME, MAN.

>> NOW GOOD?

>> NO, NO.

I DON'T EVEN NEED TO LOOK.

NO. YOU'RE NOT GOOD.

I'M PULLING OVER.

>> NOW GOOD?

>> NO. THE NEXT STOP SIGN, I'M

PULLING OVER.

>> NOW GOOD?

>> NO. VIN, YOU HAVE COKE ON

YOUR CHEEKS, YOUR FUCKING NOSE.

>> WIPE IT OFF.

>> NO. YOU WIPE IT THE FUCK --

I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MOM.

WIPE IT OFF.

AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP.

STOP! STOP FUCKING -- STOP, BRO.

JUST CLEAN IT UP.

>> I COME HERE TO SEE YOU.

FUCKING, I'M HERE IN MIAMI...

[ SNIFFLES ]

>> VIN, I'M DRIVING A FUCKING

CAR, BRO.

>> CLEAN IT THE FUCK UP.

CLEAN IT UP.

CLEAN IT UP, VIN. CLEAN IT UP.

>> [ GROANS ]

[ SNORTS, SNIFFLES ]

>> YOU'RE GONNA BE USELESS

TODAY.

>> ONE SECOND.

YO, HOLD THE POPE.

I'LL CLEAN IT UP.

HOLD THE POPE, MAN.

I'LL CLEAN IT UP FOR YOU.

>> LET'S GO, VIN.

DIDN'T YOU BRING A CHANGE OF

CLOTHES?

>> NO, THIS IS GOOD.

I LOOK GOOD, RIGHT?

>> IT'S HOT AS FUCK.

>> IT'S HOT OUT.

>> YOU'RE GONNA WEAR THAT, BRO?

WE GOT TO MEET BRUNO.

I BROUGHT A GIRL OUT HERE.

SHE'S SEEN YOUR SHIT ON YouTube.

>> I'M NOT IN SHAPE, THOUGH.

SEE SAW MY VIDEO?

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT'S UP, LADIES?!

THANKS. THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

>> VINNY, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OUT

HERE.

>> I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN SO

LONG.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

NEW YORK'S BETTER THAN FUCKING

FLORIDA.

>> REALLY?

>> YEAH, IT IS.

>> THEN GO BACK TO NEW YORK.

>> YEAH, IT IS. I WILL.

>> WHY ARE YOU HERE THEN?

'CAUSE YOU WANTED SOME VARIETY.

YOU WANTED SOME DIFFERENT GIRLS.

WE'RE NOT NEW YORK GIRLS DOWN

HERE.

>> EXACTLY. COME DOWN HERE,

CONQUER A FEW GIRLS LIKE YOU,

AND THEN WHEN I LEAVE, YOU GO

TELL ALL YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS

THAT YOU WERE WITH

VINNY THE CHIN.

>> AH.

>> CHEERS TO THAT.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> CHEERS TO THAT.

JAMES, CHEERS TO THAT.

>> CHEERS TO THAT, VINNY.

>> CHEERS TO THAT.

>> DON'T CHEERS THAT. NO, NO.

>> I LIKE YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

>> ALL RIGHT, I KNOW SOMETHING,

BABY.

HOW ABOUT WE DO THIS?

HOW ABOUT -- HOW ABOUT I RUB

THIS ON YOU?

YOU CAN GET A NICE TAN.

>> YOU THINK THAT'S GONNA SOLVE

ALL?

I DON'T THINK SO.

>> WAIT TILL I TOUCH YOU.

YOU'LL FEEL MY MAGIC TOUCH.

>> NOT EVEN CLOSE. NO.

NO. DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME.

YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

>> WHOA, WHOA!

>> HEY, HEY, HEY, YOUR FRIEND

OVER HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T FUCKING NEED YOU,

ANYWAY.

>> VINNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> NO, SHE'S BEING A FUCKING

CUNT RIGHT NOW.

>> HE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

>> DON'T USE THAT WORD, MAN.

>> TALKING SHIT AND VULGAR.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA GO GET FUCKING HEADZ,

AND WE'LL GET THE FUCK OUT OF

HERE, ALL RIGHT?

>> LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

>> I'LL GET HEADZ.

WE'LL GET OUT OF HERE.

FINISH MY DRINK.

HEY, WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE

GOING, ASSHOLE!

SOME FUCKING FAT SPIK.

>> YEAH, I GOT TO STOP AT THE

STUDIO REAL QUICK.

I GOT TO PICK UP SOME MONEY.

AND THEN WE'LL HEAD OUT, HEAD

OUT FROM THERE.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> YO, WHAT'S UP, MAN?

>> WHAT'S UP, BRO?

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATION ]

>> WHAT UP?

>> WHAT'S GOOD, MY MAN?

>> SHOWING MY BOY VINNY AROUND.

HE'S DOWN FROM NEW YORK.

>> HOW YOU DOING?

>> WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?

>> HOW YOU DOING?

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> HEY, YOU COME DOWN AND YOU

HANG OUT WITH ALL FUCKING BLACK

AND PUERTO RICANS DOWN HERE ALL

OF A SUDDEN.

YO, I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU.

I'M FUCKING -- I COME DOWN HERE.

I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.

I'M TRYING TO BREAK BREAD WITH

YOU GUYS, ALL RIGHT?

I'M NOT GONNA BE LIKE THE REST

OF THESE FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE

THAT SHAKE YOUR HANDS, SMILE TO

YOUR FACE.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW OFF THE BAT

THAT I DON'T TRUST YOU AND THAT

I'M RACIST.

>> WOW.

>> WHAT THE FUCK THIS GUY

TALKING ABOUT?

>> NO, NO. CALM DOWN, KING KONG.

CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND.

YOU KNOW, AND I'M JUST PUTTING

IT OUT THERE.

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST

WITH YOU GUYS AND BREAK BREAD,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE

FRIENDS OF MY FRIEND.

I DON'T KNOW HOW -- FUCKING

WHAT'S GOING ON DOWN HERE.

YEAH, FUCKING --

>> IS THIS GUY HIGH?

>> NO, MAN.

I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR THAT

BULLSHIT, VIN.

>> I'M JUST BEING HONEST --

>> NO, MAN.

>> MAN, YOU'RE TRIPPING.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

>> JUST COME HERE AND DISRESPECT

PEOPLE, MAN.

>> JUST TRYING TO BREAK BREAD.

>> NO, YOU'RE NOT, MAN.

>> COOL? POUND?

>> NO, MAN.

BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO IS GET

THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW.

>> WE GOT TO GO PICK UP TAMMY.

>> TAMMY WHO?

>> TAMMY TORRES, THE GIRL FROM

THE VIDEOS, THE ONE THAT I WAS

SENDING YOU.

>> THE ONE WITH THE BIG ASS?

>> YEAH.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> HER ASS GOES UP AND DOWN LIKE

THIS?

>> YEAH, AND YOU'RE LIKE, "MAKE

SURE SHE COMES."

>> YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

>> I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT.

>> SHE'S COMING?

>> YEAH, SHE'S COMING.

THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING RIGHT

NOW.

>> ALL RIGHT, GOOD.

>> AND SHE HAS LIKE THREE OR

FOUR OF HER FRIENDS THAT ARE

COMING, TOO.

>> OH, YEAH?

>> YEAH.

>> HOW YOU DOING, JOEY?

MWAH! HOW YOU BEEN?

>> CHILLIN'. THIS IS VINNY.

>> HEY, VINNY. HOW YOU DOING?

>> HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

>> MM-HMM.

>> HE'S BEEN REAL LOOKING

FORWARD TO YOUR FRIENDS, TOO.

I TOLD HIM YOU'RE BRINGING OUT A

BUNCH OF FRIENDS.

>> YOUR FRIENDS ARE COMING OUT

TONIGHT?

>> YES, THEY ARE.

THEY'RE READY TONIGHT.

>> THEY'RE READY?

I HOPE THEY'RE DOWN FOR SOME

FUCKING.

>> ALL RIGHT, VIN, RELAX.

>> I'M JUST BEING HONEST.

>> YEAH, GET YOUR BOY.

>> SO, HE TELLS ME YOU DO ALL

THESE FUCKING VIDEOS AND SHIT.

>> YES, I DO.

>> YOU DO, LIKE, THE SHIT THAT

MAKES YOUR ASS GO UP AND DOWN?

>> NO.

>> 'CAUSE YOU GOT A BIG FUCKING

ASS.

>> I KNOW.

THANK YOU FOR NOTICING.

>> YEAH.

>> GET YOUR BOY, JOEY.

>> I KNOW.

IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I JUST TOLD

YOU, BRO.

YOU'RE GONNA RUIN THE WHOLE

NIGHT.

>> DON'T BE A FUCKING PRINCESS

ABOUT IT.

>> NO, IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I JUST

TOLD YOU, VIN.

>> 'CAUSE SHE THINKS SHE'S IN

FUCKING VIDEOS.

I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCK SHE

IS.

>> GET YOUR BOY.

>> LISTEN, COME OVER HERE.

WILL YOU BE NICE TO ME?

YOU COME NICE TO ME?

>> I DON'T THINK I WANT TO BE

NICE TO YOU, SO YOU CAN REALLY

BACK OFF AND GET YOUR LITTLE

DIRTY PAWS OFF MY BACK, AND WE

COULD CALL IT A NIGHT.

>> RELAX.

>> THIS ELEVATOR -- IT'S REALLY

ABOUT TO BLOW UP IN TWO MINUTES.

>> I'LL BLOW YOU UP IN FUCKING

TWO --

>> GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

>> YO, YO.

YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT, DUDE.

>> I GOT A GOOD CHIN.

I GOT A GOOD CHIN.

>> VINNY WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY,

BUT HE DIDN'T CARE.

HIM AND JOEY HEADZ WERE ABOUT TO

HAVE A NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN,

JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS.

>> SHOW THE CHIN A GOOD TIME

TONIGHT.

>> * WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME THAT

I CANNOT MAKE IT ON MY OWN? *

* BUT I'M STRONG

* WHO ARE YOU TO TAKE CONTROL

WITH? *

* I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOUR

DREAMS FOR ME *

* MAKIN' THIS ALL ABOUT YOU, BUT

I'M NOT ABOUT TO LET YOU

SUCCEED *

* YOU BEST BELIEVE

* SO FIND YOUR PATH AND GET TO

STEPPIN', 'CAUSE THERE'S NO

CHANCE I LET YOU BACK *

* NO WAY, NO WAY, NO WAY

* TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY

* NO, NO

* NO, NO, NO

* NO, NO, NO

* NO, NO, NO

* TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY

* NO, NO

* NO, NO, NO

* NO, NO

* NO, NO, NO

* TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY

>> OH, YOU NEED HELP UP THE

STAIRS?

>> NO, NO, NO, NOT FROM YOU.

>> PLEASE DON'T TOUCH HER.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT ABOUT YOU?

>> NO.

>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

OFF MY FRIEND.

LISTEN, I'M NOT GONNA STAY --

>> ALL RIGHT, RELAX.

WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

HE'S GONNA BE FINE.

[ CONVERSING IN SPANISH ]

>> BABY, BABY, WE'RE NOT STAYING

IF HE STAYS.

THERE'S NO WAY.

>> WHY? DON'T LEAVE.

>> I WANT TO LEAVE.

>> IT'S US OR HIM.

YOU PICK AND CHOOSE.

>> [ Laughing ] COME ON.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> I HAVE AN IDEA.

HE CAN STAY...ON THE COUCH.

>> IT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD.

>> NO. CAN YOU PLEASE SAY

SOMETHING TO YOUR FRIEND?

'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WANT HIM TO STOP TALKING TO

ME.

>> I GOT THESE GUNS IN MY ROOM.

>> GUNS?

>> YEAH, I'LL SHOW YOU.

>> HONEY, WE GOT GUNS RIGHT

HERE.

>> SLEEP ON THE COUCH, SLEEP ON

THE COUCH.

SLEEP ON THE COUCH.

>> Which one's for me?

>> ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRO?

FUCKING TRYING TO COCK-BLOCK ME?

SLEEP ON THE FUCKING COUCH.

IT'S NOT YOUR CITY.

>> SPEAK SPANISH, ESPAÑOL.

>> NO. NONE OF THAT.

>> HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT.

HE'S, LIKE, OVERBOARD, MAN.

YO, MY MAN. YO, RELAX.

GO FILM THE CHIN.

>> * THESE LIGHTS ARE ON ME

* JUST OPEN UP YOUR EYES AND

SEE *

* TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY

>> YOU SEE THAT ONE WEIRD LITTLE

KISS, RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH?

>> * TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY

>> THIS NEVER HAPPENS TO ME IN

NEW YORK.

THESE FLORIDA GIRLS ARE ALL

STUCK UP.

YOU GUYS SEEN WHAT I CAN DO IN

NEW YORK, YOU KNOW?

>> UH-HUH.

>> YO, TURN THE CAMERAS OFF,

ALL RIGHT?

THIS IS NOT COOL RIGHT NOW.

I'M GONNA TURN...

I'M GOING TO SLEEP.

I'M GOING TO SLEEP NOW, SO YOU

CAN TURN THE CAMERAS OFF.

IT'S DARK.

IT'S DARK OUT NOW, SO I'M GOING

TO SLEEP.

YOU CAN TURN THE CAMERAS OFF.

I'M GOING TO SLEEP.

YO, YOU CAN TURN THE FUCKING

CAMERAS OFF NOW, BRO.

TURN THE FUCKING CAMERAS OFF,

MAN.

TURN THAT SHIT OFF.

I TOLD YOU -- FUCKING CAMERAS

OFF, MAN.

TURN THIS SHIT OFF, BRO.

I'M GOING TO FUCKING BED, MAN.

I'M GOING TO FUCKING SLEEP.

TURN IT OFF. I...

EDIT THIS SHIT OUT, ALL RIGHT?

>> UH-HUH.

>> VINNY WAS FINALLY OUT OF HIS

RUT AND BACK TO WORK AGAIN.

HE STILL HAD ENOUGH TIME TO SAVE

MONEY FOR THE SUMMER.

>> YEAH, HE WAS DOING GOOD, FULL

OF ENERGY AND ALL, UNTIL HIS

BOSS, NEIL, CALLED HIM INTO THE

OFFICE TO SPEAK TO HIM.

>> GONNA DRINK THIS SHAKE, AND

IT FEEDS THE MUSCLES.

>> VINNY, GET IN MY FUCKING

OFFICE NOW.

PUT THE FUCKING SHAKE DOWN NOW,

VINNY.

PUT THE SHAKE DOWN, COME HERE

NOW.

SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND YOU.

COME ON.

SIT DOWN, VINNY.

>> I WAS JUST HAVING A PROTEIN

SHAKE.

>> VINNY, YOU DON'T DRINK OUT OF

THE BLENDER.

WHO DOES SUCH A THING?

THAT IS THE MOST UNPROFESSIONAL

THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.

I GOT TO LET YOU GO, VINNY.

I GOT FAR TOO MANY COMPLAINTS

ABOUT YOU.

I GOT MEMBERS THAT YOU'RE

TRAINING, OVERWEIGHT, HEAVY

WOMEN YOU'RE PUTTING ON THE

TREADMILL AND YOU'RE WALKING

AWAY AND YOU'RE LEAVING THEM BY

THEMSELVES FOR AN HOUR.

>> SHE NEEDED TO WALK FOR A LONG

TIME.

>> WHAT? DID YOUR MOTHER DROP

YOU ON THE HEAD WHEN YOU WERE A

LITTLE KID?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

I HAVE ANOTHER CLIENT THAT

YOU'RE TRAINING.

THE MOTHER CALLED.

15-YEAR-OLD KID, WEIGHS 90

POUNDS.

YOU'RE HAVING HIM TRAIN WITH 300

POUNDS?

>> HE NEEDS BIG MUSCLES.

YOU GOT TO LIFT BIG WEIGHTS.

>> THAT'S RIDICULOUS, VINNY.

YOU SEE HOW STUPID YOU SOUND?

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

AND YOU'RE STANDING UP PEOPLE.

I MEAN, I GOT MEMBERS CALLING

ME, SAYING THEY HAVE

APPOINTMENTS WITH VINNY.

HE'S NOT SHOWING UP.

YOU DISAPPEAR FOR A WEEK.

YOU DON'T TELL ANYONE FROM THE

GYM.

>> MY GOOD FRIEND JOEY HEADZ

CALLED ME UP TO GO SEE HIM.

>> LISTEN, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK

ABOUT JOEY HEADZ, WHATEVER HIS

NAME IS.

I HAVE A BUSINESS TO RUN HERE.

YOU'RE VERY UNPROFESSIONAL.

I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU.

I'VE HAD IT. YOU'RE DONE, OKAY?

YOU'RE DONE, OKAY?

TO SHOW YOU HOW IRRESPONSIBLE

YOU ARE, WHOSE FUCKING CAR IS

THAT?

THAT'S YOUR FUCKING CAR PARKED

IN THE FIRE LANE.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I CALLED THE FUCKING TOW-TRUCK

DRIVER.

THEY'RE COMING TO PICK UP YOUR

CAR, OKAY?

YOU BETTER GO OUTSIDE. GET OUT.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M TOWING YOUR FUCKING CAR.

GET THE FUCK OUT. GO, GO.

>> YOU'RE REALLY TOWING MY CAR?

>> VINNY, I'M TOWING YOUR CAR.

GET OUT.

I HAD IT WITH YOU. I'M FED UP.

SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND YOU.

>> NEIL WAS NOT BULLSHITTING.

>> NOT AT ALL.

[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING ]

>> HEY.

HEY, BUDDY. HEY, BUDDY.

YOU CAN'T TAKE MY CAR, ALL

RIGHT?

I NEED MY CAR.

>> YO, YO, YO, TOUGH GUY.

DON'T PARK IN THE FIRE ZONE, AND

THAT WON'T HAPPEN.

>> YEAH?

>> YEAH. YEAH, ASSHOLE.

>> YEAH?

>> YOU GUYS CAN PARK WHEREVER

YOU WANT.

>> I PARK WHERE THE FUCK I WANT

TO PARK.

>> GET THE FUCK OFF THE TRUCK!

I'M GONNA RUN YOUR ASS OVER!

DUDE, I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS!

GET OFF THE TRUCK!

>> YEAH, I'M GONNA CALL THE

FUCKING COPS!

I'M GONNA CALL THE FUCKING COPS!

I'M GONNA TELL THEM YOU STOLE MY

CAR!

AND NOW I CAN'T GO TO THE

HAMPTONS ON MEMORIAL DAY!

[ BREATHING DEEPLY ]

JUST TOOK MY CAR, BRO.

THAT SHIT AIN'T EVEN MINE.

MY MOTHER'S GONNA KILL ME.

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND'S GONNA

COME.

EVERYONE'S GONNA BE LIKE,

"WHERE'S VINNY, WHERE'S VINNY?"

AND I'M NOT GONNA BE THERE.

[ SNIFFLES ]

NO CAR...GOT NO JOB, NO MONEY,

NO JUICE, NO ABS...NO NEW

CLOTHES.

MY HAIR'S GETTING FUCKING BUSHY.

I MEAN, SHUT THE CAMERA OFF,

BRO.

I SAID STOP FUCKING FILMING ME.

[ BIRDS SQUAWK ]

>> AFTER HE LOST HIS JOB, VINNY

FELL INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION.

IT WAS NUTS.

>> HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM

FOR WEEKS, DIDN'T SHAVE, SHOWER.

HE GREW THIS REALLY FUCKING

GROSS BEARD.

>> YEAH, HE LOOKED LIKE SHIT.

>> IT WAS HORRIBLE.

>> VINCENT? I HAVE YOUR

SANDWICH.

>> TURKEY SANDWICH?

>> YES, IT'S TURKEY.

>> ALL RIGHT, MAKE SURE THAT

IT'S HOT MUSTARD.

HEY, I TOLD YOU -- I DON'T

WANT -- LEAVE NOW!

I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HIM IN!

>> I JUST WANT TO TALK, VIN.

>> YOU LIED TO ME, YOU FAT

BITCH!

>> VINNY, OPEN THE DOOR.

>> NO! I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO

BE ON-CAMERA NO MORE!

>> VINCENT, OPEN THIS GODDAMN

DOOR!

>> VINNY WAS DOING REALLY BAD.

>> YEAH, MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

WAS AROUND THE CORNER, AND HE

WASN'T EVEN READY FOR IT YET.

WE THOUGHT ALL HOPE WAS LOST.

>> UNTIL HE RECEIVED THE MAIL

THAT DAY.

>> [ Voice breaking ] I JUST

OPENED MY MAIL.

I GOT MY NEW CREDIT CARD.

I DON'T EVEN HAVE GOOD FUCKING

CREDIT.

CREDIT-CARD COMPANIES ARE SO

FUCKING STUPID.

ALL I DID -- FOR ALL YOU

SUPER-DORK LOSERS OUT THERE, ALL

YOU GOT TO DO IS CHANGE YOUR

INITIAL OR YOUR NAME, AND THEY

GIVE YOU A NEW CARD.

FUCKING IDIOTS.

I'M GONNA MAX THIS SHIT OUT.

I'M GONNA GET ALL NEW HOT SHIT.

I'M GONNA GET A NEW TAN, NEW

CLOTHES, NEW SNEAKERS, NEW

MUSCLES, GET MY NEW FUCKING

HAIRCUT.

THE CHIN, HAMPTONS, NEPTUNE'S,

SUMMERTIME, FUCKING MEMORIAL DAY

WEEKEND.

I'M GONNA BE THERE STOMPING THE

FUCKING DECK.

[ SNIFFLES ]

AND I'M NOT CRYING RIGHT NOW

BECAUSE I'M A PUSSY.

I'M CRYING 'CAUSE I'M SO HAPPY.

[ SIGHS, SNIFFLES ]

HOW'S MY HAIR?

>> LOOKS GOOD.

>> YEAH?

>> YEAH.

>> * NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING

NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING,

NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING,

NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING *

* ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE,

ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE,

ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE *

* I'M NUMBER

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

>> GOING TO GET THE CADDY BACK.

>> HI, FRIEND.

[ KNOCKS ON DESK ]

I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK.

I'LL CALL YOU BACK IN A MINUTE.

ALL RIGHT, BYE.

CAN I HELP YOU?

>> PICK UP A CADILLAC,

BLACK-ON-BLACK CADILLAC.

>> OKAY. THE LAST NAME?

>> FERRARO. VINCENZO FERRARO.

>> FERRARO.

>> YEAH.

>> HERE YOU GO.

AREN'T YOU THE ASSHOLE I HAD

PROBLEMS WITH?

YOU TRIED PULLING THE CAR OFF

THE BACK OF MY TRUCK?

>> NO.

>> NO?

>> NO.

>> OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, SO, THERE'S TWO

DOUCHEBAGS THAT LOOK LIKE YOU.

>> THERE'S ONLY ONE OF ME.

>> YEAH. THANK GOD FOR THAT.

$850, PAL.

>> YOU TAKE CREDIT CARD?

GOT THE CADDY.

READY TO ROCK 'N' ROLL.

FUCKING PEACE.

BASICALLY, THE PLAN IS TO USE

THE CREDIT CARD RIGHT NOW TO BUY

THE DOG, WHICH HAS DUAL VALUE.

BASICALLY, ONE, TO GET ME BACK

IN THE PUSSY GAME, WHERE I HOLD

THE DOG, AND THE GIRLS COME UP

AND PET IT.

"OH, THAT'S A NICE DOG, THAT'S A

NICE DOG."

THEN I GET THE PUSSY.

ALSO, ON THE OTHER HAND, THE

OTHER SIDE OF THE VALUE IS THAT

I CAN USE IT TO GO TAKE TO THE

VET AND, WHILE THE VET'S LOOKING

AT HIM, TO STEAL THE STEROIDS

FROM THE VET.

WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK -- LIKE,

IF I WAS WALKING?

DOG NUMBER ONE?

DOG NUMBER TWO?

LIKE, WHICH ONE WOULD GET ME

LAID MORE?

>> YOU'D BE PROBABLY BETTER OFF

WITH THE LITTLE BLACK GUY.

>> NOW, THE BLACK ONE BECAUSE

HE'S LITTLE OR BECAUSE HE'S

BLACK?

LIKE, THIS ISN'T, LIKE,

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION FOR DOGS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

NO, YOU'RE BETTER OFF WITH THE

LITTLE GUY 'CAUSE HE'S SMALLER.

THE GIRLS LIKE THE SMALLER DOGS.

>> NOW, SEEING AS I'M, LIKE,

SUCH A FUCKING MAN, AN ITALIAN

STUD, DO I NEED A BIGGER DOG,

LIKE A BULLDOG?

BIG DOG? BULLDOG?

>> NO. 'CAUSE THE BIGGER DOGS

MEAN YOU'RE COMPENSATING FOR

SOMETHING.

>> YEAH, LIKE, USUALLY IF YOU

GET A BIGGER DOG, IT MEANS,

LIKE, YOU HAVE A SMALL DICK,

WHICH I DON'T HAVE.

YEAH. SO, BASICALLY, THAT'S WHY

I'LL PROBABLY GET THE SMALLEST

FUCKING DOG POSSIBLE HERE.

I LIKE THIS DOG.

WHAT KIND OF DOG IS THIS HERE?

>> A LITTLE JACK RUSSELL.

WE CALL HIM PATCHES.

>> PATCHES? I LIKE THIS DOG.

LET ME GET THIS DOG HERE AND PUT

IT ON THE CREDIT CARD.

>> SURE.

>> YEAH.

SORRY I WAS LATE.

>> THAT'S OKAY.

I JUST NEED TO GET SOME

INFORMATION.

>> IF I HAD THIS DOG AND I WAS

WALKING DOWN THE STREET --

'CAUSE I'M NORMALLY FROM QUEENS.

I'M FROM HOWARD BEACH.

I GOT RECOMMENDED HERE.

>> OKAY.

>> WOULD YOU FUCK ME?

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> IF I HAD THIS DOG AND I WAS

WALKING DOWN THE STREET -- I'M

AT THE DOGGY PARK.

I'M WALKING AROUND HERE AND I

HAD THIS DOG, PATCHES.

HIS NAME'S PATCHES.

WOULD YOU HAVE INTER-- WOULD YOU

HAVE SEX WITH ME?

>> PROBABLY NOT, NO.

>> IT'S THE DOG, RIGHT?

WHAT ABOUT -- NO DOG?

>> IT'S A PERSONAL THING.

>> WHAT KIND OF DOG WOULD I NEED

TO HAVE THEN?

>> IT PROBABLY WOULDN'T MAKE ANY

DIFFERENCE WHAT KIND OF DOG YOU

HAD.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S WEAK?

HE'S, LIKE, COLLAPSED?

HE'S LIMPING OR SOMETHING?

>> HE LOOKS LIKE HE NEEDS TO

HAVE BIGGER MUSCLES.

MAYBE YOU CAN LOOK AT THE DOG

HERE.

>> LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HIM

HERE.

LET ME JUST -- EXCUSE ME.

>> YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIGHT THE

DOG.

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING

ME?

YOU DIDN'T THE BUY THE DOG TO

FIGHT THE DOG?

THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING

ME?

PLEASE TELL ME THAT'S NOT WHAT

YOU'RE...ALL RIGHT.

>> NO.

>> YOU GOT HIM FOR PROTECTION?

>> UH...AND TO GET WOMEN.

THEY LIKE THE -- THEY COME UP.

THEY GO, "OH, THAT'S A NICE --"

I SEE IT ALL THE TIME.

I'M IN FUCKING -- MY FRIEND'S

GOT A DOG.

HE GOT A DOG.

NOW, HE GETS NO PUSSY, ALL

RIGHT?

HE GETS NO PUSSY.

SO THEN HE COMES IN.

HE GETS A DOG.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, GIRLS -- THEY

COME IN.

"OH, HOW'S THE NICE DOG?"

>> SIR, YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL

WITH THE LANGUAGE AND STUFF LIKE

THAT AROUND HERE.

>> I'M SORRY.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST.

LIKE, I'M JUST TRYING NOT TO

BULLSHIT YOU.

>> ALL RIGHT, HE LOOKS GOOD.

LET ME TAKE HIM IN THE BACK.

LET ME JUST GET HIS SHOTS.

>> OKAY, GO IN THE BACK.

>> WE'RE GONNA CUT HIS NAILS.

WE'LL TREAT HIS EARS AND

EVERYTHING LIKE THAT.

HE NEEDS A LITTLE BIT OF AN EAR

CLEAN.

HE'S A LITTLE DIRTY, NO

PROBLEMS.

HE LOOKS OKAY TO ME.

>> OKAY.

>> AND THEN WE'RE GONNA COME

BACK IN, AND I'LL JUST GO OVER

EVERYTHING.

>> OKAY.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> MIGHT BE A LITTLE DANGEROUS.

>> FUCK THAT SHIT. YOU GUYS...

>> WHAT DID YOU TAKE IN THERE?

>> I GOT THE FUCKING ANIMAL

JUICE.

MY PLAN WORKED.

I STOLE THE FUCKING ANIMAL

JUICE, THE BEST JUICE YOU CAN

GET, ALL RIGHT?

FUCKING THE TEST, THE TREN, THE

DECA HERE.

FUCKING, I'M BACK.

HAMPTONS, THE BIG ME,

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.

FUCKING, I'M BACK.

I GOT THIS ANIMAL JUICE.

I'M HERE. YEAH.

>> WHY WOULD YOU TAKE ANIMAL

STEROIDS?

>> HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FUCKING

HORSE'S LEG?

IT'S LIKE THIS. YEAH.

FUCK OUT OF HERE.

>> MO, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT

THIS FUCKING MEXICAN GORILLA

SHIT.

>> YEAH. ALL YOU DO IS -- YOU

GET A DOG, YOU BRING HIM TO THE

VET, AND THEN WHEN THEY BRING

HIM IN THE BACK TO CLEAN HIS

EARS AND SHIT, YOU STEAL THE

JUICE.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

>> LITTLE PRICK TO GET THICK.

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW.

NOW, BE CAREFUL, DON'T HURT ME,

ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T LIKE NEEDLES, USUALLY.

THAT'S WHY I GOT THE BIG --

HELPING ME, SHOOTING ME HERE.

BUT YOU GOT TO DO WHAT YOU GOT

TO DO TO GET BIG FOR

MEMORIAL DAY, NEPTUNE'S,

HAMPTONS.

ONE...

TWO...

OOH. THAT WASN'T 10.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

>> THAT WASN'T 10.

>> I LOVE IT.

>> THAT WASN'T 10.

>> BEAUTIFUL. YOU WANT TO GET

BIG OR WHAT?

GONNA BE READY FOR THE TOP DECK?

>> YOU GOOD?

>> YOU'RE DONE, MO.

>> I FEEL BIG ALREADY.

>> YOUR DICK IS GONNA BE LIKE A

FUCKING CONCRETE BRICK.

>> I FEEL BIG ALREADY.

THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT.

THAT'S HOW YOU GET BIG.

YOU DO THE JUICE.

IT'S OFF-SEASON. SHOW THEM.

BEAK OFF-SEASON.

BEAK OFF-SEASON.

>> I'M READY.

>> YOU CAN HAVE THE ANIMAL

JUICE, TOO.

>> I WANT THE GORILLA JUICE.

I LIKE THE GORILLA JUICE.

>> GORILLA JUICE?

>> YEAH.

>> IT'S GOOD. WE'LL GET READY.

SHOW THEM DA BEAK BELLY.

OFF-SEASON BEAK BELLY.

WATCH WHAT THE FUCK THIS TURNS

INTO FUCKING FOUR WEEKS FROM

NOW, MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.

WATCH WHAT THE FUCK THIS SHIT

TURNS INTO.

YEAH. I'M GONNA PULL MY PANTS

UP.

>> YEAH.

>> THIS IS KIND OF GAY.

NO HOMO. NO HOMO.

NO HOMO.

>> * POP YOUR PECS

* NOW POP YOUR

* POP YOUR PECS

* NOW POP YOUR

>> DON'T STARE TOO LONG.

YOU'LL GET HYPNOTIZED.

>> * POP YOUR PECS

* NOW POP YOUR

>> JUICED UP, READY FOR THE

FUCKING HAMPTONS, LIKE I TOLD

YOU I WOULD BE.

GOT THE GOOD VEIN.

THIS IS THE JUICE VEINS.

YOU ONLY GET THAT IF YOU'RE ON

THE JUICE.

MIGHT AS WELL CALL ME FUCKING

RAGú, 'CAUSE I'M ALL ABOUT THE

SAUCE.

YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING BIG ENOUGH

WHERE YOU CAN'T EVEN TEXT ON

YOUR CELLPHONE.

IF YOU CAN TEXT, YOU'RE A

FUCKING PUSSY.

IF I CAN WIPE MY ASS, THEN,

OBVIOUSLY, YOUR LATS AND YOUR

BICEPS AND TRICEPS AREN'T BIG

ENOUGH.

I CAN'T EVEN GET TOILET PAPER IN

THERE.

WHAT I DO IS -- I PUT THE TOILET

PAPER AGAINST THE FUCKING WALL

AND I GO UP AND DOWN LIKE A

FUCKING BEAR.

>> * POP YOUR PECS

>> I LOOKED LIKE SHIT LIKE A FEW

MONTHS AGO, IN THE WINTERTIME.

NOW I'M JUICING MY BRAINS OUT.

I GOT THE FUCKING JUICE VEIN NOW

AND I'M THE FUCKING SHIT NOW.

I'M GONNA GO TO THE HAMPTONS AND

I'M GONNA FUCK EVERY GIRL

FUCKING THAT SEES MY MUSCLES.

>> * POP YOUR PECS

>> WHICH PRODUCT WOULD I TAKE

HERE THAT'S BEST JUST FOR THE

BICEPS.

>> BICEPS? YOUR BICEPS?

>> YEAH, YOU CAN TOUCH THEM IF

YOU WANT.

>> NO, NO, NO. THAT'S COOL.

I CAN SEE THEM FROM HERE.

>> I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU.

I'M ON A CYCLE RIGHT NOW, AND

IT'S UNFAIR FOR ANYBODY STANDING

NEXT TO ME, LIKE YOURSELF.

BUT, THEN AGAIN, WHO SAID LIFE

IS FAIR?

>> LIFE'S NOT FAIR.

>> OBVIOUSLY, YOU KNOW THAT.

>> NO, NO. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

>> SO, WHICH ONE WOULD OF

THESE -- ACTUALLY, JUST TELL ME

WHAT YOU'RE TAKING, 'CAUSE

THAT'S WHAT I DON'T WANT TO

TAKE, BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE

SHIT.

YEAH.

WHO HIRED YOU?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST WANDERED IN HERE FROM

OUTSIDE, AND THEY GAVE ME A JOB.

YOU WANT SOMETHING FOR YOUR

MUSCLES?

YOUR TRICEPS, BICEPS?

YOU WANT PROTEIN SHAKES.

YOU LIFT WEIGHTS, YOU'RE

BREAKING APART MUSCLE.

YOU WANT TO RE-KNIT IT BACK

TOGETHER.

YOU NEED THE PROTEIN SHAKE.

>> SANTA CLAUS SAYS PROTEIN

SHAKES TO RE-KNIT THE MUSCLE.

ME -- WHO SAID JERRY GARCIA'S

DEAD?

HE'S NOT DEAD.

HE'S HERE WORKING IN A VITAMIN

STORE.

YEAH.

>> SO, VINNY FINALLY HAS THE NEW

CLOTHES, A NEW PHONE.

HE'S ALL JUICED UP AND SHREDDED

JUST IN TIME FOR THE WEEK BEFORE

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND.

>> YEAH, A FEW DAYS BEFORE, HE

PUTS ON HIS FINISHING TOUCHES BY

DOING HIS FINAL RITUALS.

>> AND I'M LOOKING TO GO OUT TO

THE HAMPTONS WITH SOME NEW

GLASSES.

THESE ARE KIND OF OLD.

I'M LOOKING FOR THE NEW STYLE,

SO IF YOU COULD SUGGEST SOME TO

ME...

BASICALLY, WHAT YOU GOT TO DO IN

THE IN-SEASON IS -- ONCE YOU GET

FUCKING MUSCLES -- ALL RIGHT? --

IS THAT YOU WANT TO SHAVE YOUR

BODY.

WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS -- YOU

WANT TO GET YOUR TEETH WHITENED

BEFORE YOU GO OUT, ALL RIGHT?

'CAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK

LIKE A FUCKING HILLBILLY PIECE

OF SHIT THAT'S BEEN CHEWING ON

TOBACCO ALL DAY.

THIS ISN'T ALABAMA.

YOU DON'T GO TANNING WITH

UNDERWEAR ON, 'CAUSE THAT'S FOR

HOMOS, ALL RIGHT?

WHEN YOU GO TANNING, YOU GOT TO

GO COMPLETELY NAKED.

ALL THE GREATS SHAVED THEIR

BODY.

ARNOLD SHAVED HIS BODY.

FUCKING, THE DEAF HULK,

LOU FERRIGNO SHAVED HIS BODY.

'CAUSE IT SHOWS ALL YOUR MUSCLES

AND YOUR MUSCLE DEFINITION.

>> PLASTIC -- EVERYBODY'S

WEARING PLASTIC.

PLASTIC IS VERY HOT.

THAT'S GOT THE MEDALLION, LOOKS

GOOD WITH THE HAIR.

>> HERE'S A BEE.

>> * NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

>> OH, THIS IS GOOD.

IT'S MAYBE A LITTLE BIT

FEMININE, BUT I THINK IT --

>> I DON'T DO FEMININE.

TAKE THESE OFF.

THE SOCKS.

OKAY, WHAT I'M GONNA DO RIGHT

NOW -- I'M GONNA SHOW FUCKING

HOW TO SHAVE YOUR ASSHOLE.

IF YOU'RE AN AMATEUR, FUCKING

GET IN THE GAME, BE A PRO, LEARN

HOW TO SHAVE YOUR ASS.

CAN WE SHOW ASSHOLE ON FILM

HERE?

>> YEAH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

>> OKAY. ARE THERE ANY FUCKING

GAY GUYS BE WATCHING THIS?

>> UH...I DON'T KNOW.

>> CAN I DO A DISCLAIMER THEN?

>> GO FOR IT.

>> OKAY. ALL YOU FUCKING FAGS

OUT THERE, STOP BEING A FUCKING

FAGGOT AND LOOKING AT MY ASS,

ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, GIVE THEM A MINUTE TO

GO GET POPCORN OR CLOSE THEIR

EYES OR SOMETHING.

NOT YET.

THEY'RE PROBABLY JUST GETTING TO

THE DOOR, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, WE'LL GO BEFORE THEY COME

BACK.

>> * NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING

>> [ MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY ]

YOU'LL SPREAD YOUR CHEEK WITH

THE OPPOSITE HAND, GET IN HERE.

>> THAT'S YOU.

>> THESE ARE VERSACE.

YEAH, SEE, EVERYTHING LOOKS

GOOD -- LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING

TO YOU.

EVERYTHING LOOKS GOOD ON ME

'CAUSE I HAVE MUSCLES.

LIKE THIS.

GET UP THE BACK SO YOU DON'T

HAVE ANY BACK HAIR.

[ GROANING ]

>> HANG IN THERE, VIN.

HANG IN THERE.

>> NO, YOU DON'T TAKE DIRECTIONS

VERY WELL.

THESE AREN'T REALLY THE ONES

THAT I NEED.

I NEED SOMETHING A LITTLE

LIGHTER, WHERE YOU COULD SEE MY

EYES.

LIKE THIS. SMOOTH STROKES.

NOT AGGRESSIVE, SMOOTH.

AND THEN YOU GET ALL THE HAIR

OFF.

AND THEN YOU SPREAD IT NICE.

>> * NUMBER FUCKING ONE

>> LET ME PUT THESE ON.

CAN YOU SEE MY EYES?

>> I CAN SEE YOUR EYES.

>> THESE ARE THE ONES.

>> * NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

>> SO, MEMORIAL DAY'S FINALLY

HERE.

SUMMER HAS BEGUN.

VINNY AND DA BEAK PREPARE TO GO

TO NEPTUNE'S, WHICH IS THE

HOTTEST SPOT TO PARTY IN THE

HAMPTONS.

>> YEAH. WE SHOW UP THERE, AND

THE PLACE IS OUT OF CONTROL.

>> * BIRDS FLYING HIGH

[ BIRDS SQUAWKING ]

* YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

* SUN IN THE SKY

* YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

>> AND I DO GET EXCITED.

IT'S BEEN LIKE NINE MONTHS IN

THE MAKING FOR FUCKING TODAY.

WHOO!

>> * IT'S A NEW DAWN

* IT'S A NEW DAY

* IT'S A NEW LIFE

>> YO, CHIN, I NEED YOU TO SHAVE

MY BACK, BRO!

>> * IT'S A NEW DAY

* IT'S A NEW LIFE

* FOR ME

>> ALL RIGHT.

GET UP THERE IN THE BACK.

>> SEE, WHEN YOU'RE ON THE JUICE

AND YOU'RE SAUCED UP AND YOU CAN

REACH YOUR BACK, YOU'RE NOT

FUCKING BIG ENOUGH.

>> I CAN'T, I CAN'T.

OVER HERE, MO. OVER HERE, MO.

YEAH.

>> THIS IS NICE. IS THIS NEW?

>> YEAH. IT FEELS GOOD, RIGHT?

IT FEELS GOOD.

YOU READY TO DO THIS?

I'M FUCKING READY, BRO.

I'M FUCKING EXCITED.

I'VE TAKEN FUCKING FOUR SHITS

TODAY.

MY FUCKING STOMACH'S IN A

FUCKING BUNCH, GUY.

>> I TELL YOU WHAT -- WE COME

HERE ALL THE WAY FROM FUCKING

ENGLAND FOR THE SUMMERTIME TO

PARTY UP IN HERE.

THIS IS FUCKING CRAZY.

THIS IS CRAZY.

>> NEW YORK'S THE BEST, MATE.

>> NEW YORK, BABY.

THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.

NEW YORK ALL DAY, BABY.

>> ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT.

>> IT'S DEFINITELY THE HOTTEST.

>> IT'S THE FUCKING BEST.

FUCKING NEPTUNE'S, LONG ISLAND.

WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE ROCK

STARS.

>> WE'RE JUST HARDCORE.

YOU CAN'T DO IT DOWN SOUTH.

>> WHOO!

>> IT'S ONLY UP NORTH.

>> IT'S ALL BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE OUT

HERE IN NEW YORK.

YOU CAN'T BEAT IT.

CALIFORNIA DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING

ON NEW YORK.

>> WE WENT TO FREAKING VEGAS.

THE SECOND WE SAID WE'RE FROM

NEW YORK, ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5,

WE'RE 11s, 12s.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.

>> WE'RE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING

AND WE HAVE THE BEST OF

EVERYTHING.

>> IT'S THE BEST STATE ON THE

FUCKING WHOLE PLANET.

>> THE HOTTEST IN THE HAMPTONS,

KID!

THIS IS LONG ISLAND!

STRONG ISLAND, REPRESENT!

FUCK JERSEY!

>> FUCK MIAMI!

FUCK THE JERSEY SHORE!

>> WHAT'S VEGAS?

WHAT'S JERSEY SHORE?

WE'RE ALL ABOUT NEW YORK.

>> LONG ISLAND, BABY!

>> LONG ISLAND. LONG ISLAND.

FUCK EVERYBODY ELSE.

>> IF YOU'RE NOT FROM NEW YORK,

FUCK YOU.

>> I WAS MVP LAST YEAR, MVP '09.

I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO IN '09.

I WAS THE MVP.

>> WE DID TRAVEL 4 1/2 HOURS

JUST TO COME HERE --

>> TO NEPTUNE'S.

>> 'CAUSE THERE'S BEAUTIFUL

WOMEN WITH BEAUTIFUL HAIR AND

ASSES AND TITTIES AND ALL THAT

SHIT.

>> LOOK AT HOW IT'S DONE RIGHT

HERE.

ALL YOU FUCKING SUPER-DORK

LOSERS, LOOK AT HOW THE FUCK

IT'S DONE HERE.

>> WE'RE SEXY BITCHES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> LOOK AT US.

>> WHOO!

>> FRESH WHITE FUCKING SOCKS

RIGHT NOW.

FRESH WHITE ONES WITH SOME BABY

POWDER IN THE FUCKING SNEAKER.

>> AAH!

>> SHIT, YOU READY?

>> YOU KNOW I'M GETTING READY

OVER HERE.

>> YOU FUCKING READY?!

>> LOOK AT ME.

I'M GETTING READY.

>> YOU GETTING READY?

I GOT TO DO SOME FUCKING CURLS,

BRO.

I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS.

MY BLOOD IS SO FUCKING PUMPING.

I DID A 500-MG SHOT T4 BEFORE.

FUCKING LOOK AT THESE FUCKING

VEINS, GUY.

>> STEROIDS ARE A MUST.

>> YEAH, JUICE CAPITAL OF

FUCKING NEW YORK.

>> SEE THESE VEINS.

>> GET RIGHT KIND OF LIKE --

THEY LOOK LIKE FUCKING LIKE

WORMS ARE LIVING BENEATH MY

SKIN, BUT THEY'RE JUST VEINS

FROM THE JUICE THAT I DO.

>> WE WORK HARD ALL YEAR LONG TO

LOOK LIKE THIS.

WE COME OUT HERE TO SHOW OFF

OURSELVES.

>> THAT'S WHERE THE GREATEST

PEOPLE IN THE WORLD LIVE, RIGHT

HERE ON LONG ISLAND, OUT IN THE

HAMPTONS, AND NEPTUNE'S.

THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT, BABY.

NEPTUNE'S!

>> WHOO!

>> WHOO!

>> WHOO!

>> YEAH.

>> GONNA DO A TRIPLE-STEP,

FLYING DOUBLE-STOMP THING.

>> MAKE SURE YOU GET THE CENTER

OF THE BICEP.

YOU START SWEATING.

>> GIRLS LOVE VEINS.

GOT TO GET THE VEINS.

>> OVER. GAME OVER.

NEPTUNE'S ALL DAY.

>> WHOO! NEPTUNE'S!

YEAH!

>> NEPTUNE'S!

>> WHOO!

>> NEPTUNE'S BEACH CLUB!

>> WE GOT TO GO TO NEPTUNE'S.

WE GOT TO GET READY, GUY.

>> YEAH!

>> NEPTUNE'S!

>> SHOW THEM WHY THEY CALL YOU

DA BEAK.

>> WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME

DA BEAK?

>> WHOO! GAME OVER.

>> SLAP IT AROUND. THERE YOU GO.

THERE YOU GO. AAH!

>> YO, DO THIS FUCKING SHIT.

THIS IS WHY THEY CALL HIM THE

DA BEAK.

THIS IS WHY THEY CALL HIM

DA BEAK.

>> WE'RE ALL ABOUT FUCKING

GUIDOS!

>> THERE YOU GO, MO.

>> EVERYBODY WANTS TO COME PARTY

WITH US.

FUCK YEAH!

>> AAH! WHOO!

>> HAMPTONS! M.D.W.!

WE'RE HERE!

DA BEAK, THE CHIN!

WE'RE COMING TO YOU.

WE'RE GONNA FUCKING STOMP THE

DECK.

WHORES, HIDE YOUR PUSSIES.

WE'RE GONNA COME AND FUCKING

SMASH THAT SHIT TONIGHT.

>> * WHOOOOO

>> FUCKING L.I.E., THE BEST

FUCKING HIGHWAY.

>> I'M NOT RETIRED, BRO.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

I'LL RETIRE WHEN MY COCK IS

DEAD.

I'M A GOOD-LOOKING GUY.

I MAY BE GETTING OLD, BUT I'M

GETTING WISE.

I'M LIKE FINE WINE -- I GET

BETTER WITH AGE.

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

>> WE'RE FUCKING HERE, PULLING

IN, NEPTUNE'S, 2010.

WE MADE IT.

>> POLISH MY FUCKING KICKS UP.

>> M.D.W.

>> STOMPAGE.

>> ABOUT TO GET FUCKING BEADS,

HOUSE MUSIC.

YO, LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF

HERE, GUY.

>> LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

>> WAITING TOO LONG FOR THIS

SHIT.

>> LONG ENOUGH, GUY.

>> HERE WE ARE.

NEPTUNE'S. NO FUCKING SHIRTS ON

AT NEPTUNE'S.

>> STOMPING THE MOTHERFUCKING

DECK.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

>> THIS PLACE IS PACKED, AS

USUAL.

>> SHOW THEM THE FUCKING LINE.

>> PACKED, AS USUAL.

>> FUCKING HO-BAG MOTHERFUCKING

SLUTS ALL OVER THE PLACE.

>> IF YOU'RE NOT ON LONG ISLAND,

NEPTUNE'S, FUCKING SUMMERTIME,

YOU'RE FUCKING BEAT.

>> GENTLEMEN, HAVE YOUR I.D.s

OUT, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

I.D.s, GENTLEMEN.

>> THAT'S IT. FULL CAPACITY.

I CALLED THE FIRE MARSHAL.

NOBODY ELSE IS ALLOWED IN.

>> ALL RIGHT, NO PROBLEM.

SORRY, GUYS. WE'RE CLOSED UP.

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE

CLOSED UP?

>> FILLED TO CAPACITY.

>> I'M WITH HIM. I'M WITH HIM.

>> YOU JUST HEARD WHAT THE GUY

SAID.

WE'RE FILLED TO CAPACITY.

>> WELL, WHEN ARE YOU GONNA LET

US BACK IN AGAIN?

>> I HAVE NO IDEA, WHENEVER THEY

SAY IT'S OKAY.

>> YO, I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, BRO.

>> EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.

>> SO, WAIT.

I'VE BEEN IN LINE FOR TWO

FUCKING HOURS.

>> I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG IT'S

GONNA BE.

IT'S GONNA BE A LITTLE WHILE,

ALL RIGHT?

YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO WAIT.

>> I'LL BE RIGHT THERE, MAN.

>> LISTEN, GET INSIDE!

>> I'M ON THEO'S GUEST LIST!

I'M ON THEO'S GUEST LIST!

I KNOW THE OWNER!

I KNOW THE OWNER!

OFFICER, I KNOW THE OWNER.

>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR.

PLEASE.

PLEASE LET ME IN.

>> NO.

>> I KNOW THE OWNER.

>> HE GOT LOCKED UP.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FUCKING

DO?

I'M GONNA STOMP THE FUCKING

DECK.

I'M GONNA GO FUCKING BANANAS.

I'M SORRY.

BRO, I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT

SINCE AUGUST 13, 1998!

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, GUY?

I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOR

REAL!

I STOMP, I PUMP, AND I DO

WHATEVER I WANT TO DO!

I'M VINNY DA FUCKING BEAK!

TELL YOUR MOTHER!

TELL YOUR SISTERS!

TELL YOUR FUCKING GRANDMOTHERS!

VINNY DA FUCKING BEAK!

I DO WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT!

GIVE ME THAT DRINK!

>> LET 'EM KNOW, BABY, LET 'EM

KNOW.

LET 'EM KNOW.

>> RELAX.

>> I KNOW THE OWNER.

>> RELAX.

>> I'M ON THEO'S GUEST LIST.

PLEASE. I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL

YEAR FOR THIS.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

[ SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

>> I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL YEAR

FOR THIS.

PLEASE. PLEASE.

I KNOW THE OWNER.

>> YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

I'M FUCKING VINNY DA BEAK!

I'M SORRY ABOUT MY BOY CHIN.

HE GOT LOCKED UP.

I LOVE HIM DEARLY, BUT, YO,

CHECK IT OUT.

EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.

WE GOT TO DO THIS SHIT FROM

12:00, 8:00.

I'M SORRY, CHIN.

I'M COMING 8:30 TO BAIL YOU OUT.

BUT, YO, THIS IS WHAT I DO FOR

REAL, SON.

I GOT TO GO.

I LOVE YOU, BRO.

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]

I'M GOING TO THE ROOF.

>> I'VE BEEN WAITING ALL --

>> YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN

SILENT.

>> NO.

>> HE WANTS TO RETIRE?

HE WANTS TO GET ARRESTED?

FUCK HIM.

>> PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

[ DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES ]

>> I'VE WAITED ALL YEAR.

PLEASE.

>> GET UP! GET UP!

>> I GOT TO GO SOLO?

I'M FUCKING ROLLING SOLO,

MOTHERFUCKER, NEXT YEAR!

YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

VINNY DA BEAK. TELL YOUR MOTHER.

>> * STOMP THE DECK

>> I LOVE MY LIFE.

I'M NEVER GONNA STOP.

IT'S IN MY BLOOD.

I GOT THIS SHIT RUNNING THROUGH

MY FUCKING VEINS.

OH, MY GOD.

I DON'T WANT IT TO STOP.

>> COME TO ORDER.

ALL RIGHT, IT'S MY UNDERSTANDING

WE HAVE A PLEA AGREEMENT IN THE

CASE OF VINCENZO FERRARO.

>> THAT IS CORRECT, YOUR HONOR.

>> ARE YOU READY TO PROCEED TO

PLEA ALLOCUTION?

>> YES, YOUR HONOR.

>> COUNSEL?

>> YES, YOUR HONOR, WE'RE READY.

>> AND GET YOUR CLIENT READY TO

PROCEED.

>> TAKE THE GLASSES OFF.

>> HE CAN STILL SEE MY EYES.

>> TAKE THE GLASSES OFF.

YOU GOT TO TAKE THE GLASSES OFF.

>> COUNSEL, ARE THOSE

PRESCRIPTION SUNGLASSES?

'CAUSE IF THEY'RE NOT, I WANT

THEM OFF.

>> YOU GOT TO TAKE THE GLASSES

OFF.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> ALL THE SUDDEN, LIKE A MONTH

AFTER HE'S SENTENCED TO

PROBATION AND COMMUNITY SERVICE,

IT ALL HAPPENS AT ONCE.

MTV's "JERSEY SHORE" BLOWS UP.

OUR PRODUCER IS CONTACTED BY

EVERY MAJOR DISTRIBUTOR IN

HOLLYWOOD, AND THEY ALL WANT TO

RELEASE VINNY'S DOCUMENTARY

WORLDWIDE.

>> YEAH, THE NEXT THING WE KNOW,

I MEAN, THE NEWS IS OUT THAT

VINNY'S THE NEXT BIG THING.

HE'S NOT A LOCAL LEGEND ANYMORE.

EVERYBODY'S FIGHTING TO SPONSOR

THIS GUY.

I MEAN, HE'S SPONSORED BY BIG

COMPANIES, LIKE ED HARDY VODKA.

>> HI. I'M RON TENENBAUM.

THIS IS MY PARTNER ROBERT.

WE ARE THE OWNERS OF

ED HARDY VODKA.

TODAY, WE'RE PRESENTING THIS TO

VINNY FOR BEING THE FACE OF

ED HARDY VODKA.

HE IS THE PARTY, AND WE WANT TO

BE WHERE HE'S AT.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

FIRST OF ALL, I'D LIKE TO THANK

MYSELF, OF COURSE.

AND I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS TO

EVERYBODY WHO DOUBTED ME AND

TELL THEM TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES,

ALL RIGHT?

ED HARDY VODKA'S COOL.

I'M FUCKING COOL.

I'M THE BEST EVER.

IT'S THE BEST-EVER VODKA.

THIS MARRIAGE ONLY MAKES SENSE.

AND IF YOU DON'T DRINK

ED HARDY VODKA, YOU'RE A FUCKING

LOSER.

YEAH.

>> HE'S NOW ENDORSED BY

SUPPLEMENT COMPANIES.

>> YOU KNOW, I OWN A NUTRITION

COMPANY, SPECIES NUTRITION, AND

I SAID TO MYSELF, "HERE'S A GUY

WHO CAN ACT AS A BILLBOARD OF

SORTS TO ME, AND HE CAN PROBABLY

SUPPORT THE PRODUCT."

I'M GONNA GO ON RECORD AS BEING

THE FIRST GUY TO GIVE

VINNY THE CHIN HIS VERY FIRST

ENDORSEMENT CONTRACT.

I'M GONNA MAKE VINNY THE CHIN A

SPECIES ATHLETE, BECAUSE YOU

KNOW WHAT?

NO ONE ELSE WOULD GO ONLINE

DOING THIS THING.

>> EVERYBODY JUST GIVES ME FREE

FUCKING SHIT NOW.

>> AND DOING RADIO SHOWS.

>> CHECK IT OUT.

IT'S THE B-MAN, BRIAN ROSENBERG,

AND I'M HERE -- PARTY FM -- AND

I'M HERE WITH THE HOTTEST PERSON

AROUND RIGHT NOW, A LEGEND ON

LONG ISLAND AND SOON TO BE

NATIONWIDE, VINCENZO FERRARO, AS

EVERYONE KNOWS HIM AS

VINNY THE CHIN.

THE BUZZ ABOUT YOU IS CRAZY, MY

MAN.

HOW DOES IT FEEL?

>> IT FEELS GOOD BECAUSE I'M ME,

THE BEST PERSON TO BE EVER,

OBVIOUSLY.

AND I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

THAT I WAS HOT BEFORE THIS, AND

IT BASICALLY TOOK EVERYBODY

ELSE, THE WHOLE WORLD TO CATCH

UP TO ME RIGHT NOW.

YEAH.

>> AND HUMBLE, TOO.

>> HE'S GETTING PAID TOP DOLLAR

TO APPEAR IN MUSIC VIDEOS.

>> DON'T MESS THE HAIR UP.

>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I GOT A LITTLE HAIR SPRAY.

MAKE IT RIGHT.

>> * I'M A KILLER WHEN THE

LIGHTS GO OUT *

* I'M A KILLER WHEN THE LIGHTS

GO OUT *

>> HE WILL FUCK YOU UP.

>> JAMES DEL GATTO, DIRECTOR,

PRODUCER.

I ALSO EDIT.

>> HE DOES IT ALL.

RIGHT HERE. LONG ISLAND.

>> VINNY THE CHIN, BABY.

>> VINNY WAS MAKING TONS OF

MONEY MAKING CLUB APPEARANCES

FROM STATE TO STATE.

HE'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT

ANOTHER DOLLAR AGAIN.

>> YEAH, VINNY WAS NO LONGER

JUST A YouTube SENSATION.

>> * LIGHTS OUT

>> WHOO!

>> VINNY'S THE MAN!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> I'M TOP OF THE WORLD!

FUCK YouTube! FUCK YouTube!

I'M COMING TO YOUR THEATERS!

I'M IN YOUR THEATERS!

>> SO, WE SPENT A LOT OF TIME

WITH VINNY WHILE TAPING THIS.

>> YEAH, YOU WOULDN'T NOTICE,

BUT HE'S ACTUALLY A PRETTY GOOD

GUY.

>> HE JUST MAKES A BAD FIRST

IMPRESSION.

HE HAS A REALLY BIG HEART AND

HE'S VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT

HE BELIEVES.

AND, YOU KNOW, HE'S AN HONEST

GUY, AND EVEN THOUGH THE TRUTH

HURTS, I THINK WE ALL HAVE A LOT

TO LEARN FROM HIM.

>> YEAH, I KNOW I DO,

PERSONALLY.

I MEAN, I HOPE HE NEVER CHANGES.

>> ME TOO.

AND NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS

WOULD WE HAVE THOUGHT THIS WOULD

HAVE GOTTEN THIS BIG.

>> NEVER.

>> OF COURSE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA

BE A HUGE SUCCESS, ALL RIGHT?

I'M ALREADY THE SHIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

IT TOOK ALL THESE YEARS FOR

THESE HOLLYWOOD FUCKING LOSER

ASSHOLES TO CATCH UP WITH ME,

YOU KNOW?

AND, LIKE, EVERYONE'S SAYING

THAT I'M MEAN, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE

I HURT PEOPLE'S FEELINGS, BUT

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE HONEST AND

HELP PEOPLE WITH THE TRUTH.

YOU KNOW, EVERYONE WALKS AROUND

THESE DAYS BULLSHITTING EACH

OTHER AND LYING TO EACH OTHER'S

FACES, AND NO ONE'S FUCKING BE

HONEST AND TELLING EACH OTHER

THE TRUTH.

AND THAT'S WHY NO ONE'S GROWING

AND BECOMING A BETTER PERSON.

AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN, YOU

KNOW?

AND, OBVIOUSLY, PEOPLE CAN'T

TAKE THE TRUTH BECAUSE THEY

HAVE, LIKE, A WEAK CHIN, YOU

KNOW?

THEY SHOULD BE MORE LIKE ME.

NOT NECESSARILY, LIKE, THE

PHYSICAL CHIN.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, IT'S MORE LIKE

SYMBOLISM.

LIKE, FOR INSTANCE, LIKE, MY

PHYSICAL CHIN REPRESENTS MY

SPIRITUAL CHIN, WHICH MEANS NO

MATTER HOW HARD YOU FUCKING HIT

ME, MY SPIRIT CAN'T BE KNOCKED

DOWN OR DEFEATED.

AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN, AND

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE TRUTHFUL

AND HONEST WITH PEOPLE AND MAKE

THEM BETTER AND MAKE THEM MORE

LIKE ME, EVEN THOUGH YOU COULD

NEVER FUCKING BE LIKE ME, ALL

RIGHT?

THE CLOSEST YOU FUCKING HERB-ASS

LOSERS CAN BE TO ME IS WHEN I

COME TO YOUR BEAT-ASS SHITTY

TOWN ON MY NEW COLLEGE TOUR.

I'M GONNA COME AND DISFIGURE

EVERY PIECE OF YOUNG, DUMB

FUCKING HO-BAG COLLEGE PIECE OF

PUSSY THERE, ALL RIGHT?

GO TO MY WEBSITE.

I GOT MY OWN WEBSITE NOW --

vinnythechin.com FOR TOUR DATES,

ALL RIGHT?

AND FUCKING WHORES, YOU CAN

E-MAIL ME NAKED PICTURES OF

YOURSELF OR YOU CAN FUCKING CALL

ME IF YOU WANT TO FUCK.

(516) 512-2276.

AND IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT A

BIG FUCKING SUPER-CELEBRITY

SUPERSTAR DOES IN HIS DAY-TO-DAY

BASIS, YOU CAN FOLLOW ME ON

TWITTER @VinnyTheChin, ALL

RIGHT?

YEAH.

OH, AND LIL' KIM, NOW, I'M A

CELEBRITY TOO NOW.

WE SHOULD DO LUNCH.

CALL ME UP, ALL RIGHT?

WE'LL DO A LUNCH DATE, ALL

RIGHT?

AND I'LL FUCK THE BLACK OFF OF

YOU, ALL RIGHT?

I'LL MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE

MICHAEL JACKSON WHEN I'M DONE

WITH YOU, THE ONE FROM 2011.

GIVE YOU BABIES.

YEAH.

WE GOOD?

>> READY TO GO?

>> YEAH?

>> WE GOT IT.

>> YEAH?

>> * LIGHTS OUT

>> KEEP THAT IN WITH LIL' KIM?

IS SHE SEEING THIS?

>> MM-HMM.

>> YEAH?

>> SHOW US THE JUICE.

>> THE JUICE?

>> THANK YOU.

>> * I'M A KILLER WHEN THE

LIGHTS GO OUT *

* I'M A KILLER WHEN THE LIGHTS

GO OUT *

* KILLER WHEN THE LIGHTS GO

OUT *

* I'M A KILLER WHEN THE LIGHTS

GO OUT *

* LIGHTS OUT *

>> * NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER

FUCKING *

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* FUCKING ONE

* FUCKING ONE

* FUCKING ONE

* FUCKING ONE

>> * WHOO!

>> * CLAP THOSE HANDS

* CLAP THOSE HANDS

* CLAP THOSE HANDS

* CLAP THOSE HANDS

* CLAP THOSE HANDS

* THOSE HANDS, CLAP THOSE

HANDS *

* CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP,

CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP *

* CLAP THOSE HANDS

* CLAP THOSE HANDS

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* I'M NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING

NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING,

NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING,

NUMBER FUCKING, NUMBER FUCKING *

* ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE,

ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE,

ONE, ONE, ONE, ONE *

* I'M NUMBER

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE

* MM-MM, OH

* MM-MM, OH

* NUMBER FUCKING ONE