Original subtitles

"Therapy For Today is a convenient way

to make sure you're getting the help you need.

After all, mental health, it's something you do for you.

Promo code, ZoomShrink@SexAndTheCity."

Done. And, last one.

- Sammi? - Ready.

"This is for all my listeners with a vagina.

Ever feel not quite right down there..."

Okay.

I'm feeling not quite right up here.

What is this?

It's an ad for a vaginal wellness product.

Yeah, no, I got that part right away.

But... "Down there?"

Why is it underlined?

What? Just to make it more awkward and obvious?

Well, mission accomplished.

Oh, my god.

"But with our vaginal odor suppositories..."

I have spent my entire life going out of my way

to never say the word "suppository"

and now, it's coupled with "vagina"...

- Wait. No... - Certainly is.

Oh, my god, again.

"Promo-code, VagAndTheCity."

Come... I can't.

- I'll let 'em know. - Okay, thank you.

Let's just do the show.

- Let's do the show. - Yeah.

Ready to be blown?

Am I ever.

How is your romance? How is your man?

Turns out, not my man.

Done. Finito. Too many red flags.

You're always finding red flag.

This one this. That one that.

He still lives with his ex-wife.

Do you know how many mens I dated who still lives with their wives?

- You are too picky! - I have my standards.

Listen to you, standards.

You sit in my chairs for ten years with your red flags and standards.

No wonder you're still alone!

Dios mío.

I am not done.

I am. Forever.

I pay you to blow me, not shrink me.

Oh, shit.

Ah, Shit.

It's my show-writer calling. I have to take this.

I'm doing some of my best work here.

Well, go to the head of the class.

Good morning, BD.

Oh, is it?

'Cause the network hates the new pages.

Can you be here by 10.00?

- Okay, in an hour? - No.

Ten o'clock tonight.

Okay, well...

Do... do you have any other time?

No, 'cause today's therapy day

and my parents are here.

Not coincidental.

Oh, shit!

Precisely. So you're gonna be here?

I guess I can make it.

This isn't a favor. It's your fucking job!

Okay, that was so not cool.

It was hot, but it was not cool.

I'll take hot.

Okay. Wait, no, no.

Oh, god. I need to meet with this writer.

I am so sorry.

Will you be okay all day?

Don't worry about me.

I'll just find someone else to practice giving head to.

Trust. I don't wanna leave, but...

This... this is important.

The script is getting so cute, it's turning into

You're a Good Queer, Charlie Brown.

It's so weird.

The writer can't seem to wrap their head around my few realism notes

but can wrap their head around Tony Danza as my Mexican father.

I...

Til next time, I'm Carrie Bradshaw

and this is Sex And The City.

Great.

I'm pregnant, I have to pee, and I only have a minute.

Why won't you talk about your vagina?

For so many reasons.

And to be clear, it's not my vagina.

It's everyone's vagina.

- And hello. - Hello, diva.

I am not a diva. I did the therapy.

I did the eyelashes.

I held up that vegan purse on Instagram.

My other purses still won't speak to me.

Hey. What's up, Chloe?

Oh, just trying to save this flaming Viking ship from sinking.

Would you tell your star it is not the podcast heyday of 2021?

This shit is drying up.

We're just looking to have a conversation about that one ad.

When I gave the vaginal wellness commercial

to the guy who does the car podcast

do you know what he said?

"This is inappropriate, Chloe"?

On air, he said, "My wife suffers from vaginal dryness."

And he's not even married.

Dude is here for us.

I... I'm here for us, but...

no one, no human being speaks like that.

Well, then rewrite the fucker.

Pretend like you're talking to your girlfriends.

Put it in your own diva words.

Just hit the PH balance bullet points.

- Hi, Chloe. - Not now.

- Gonna talk to her. Don't worry. - Hey.

I'll hold up the vegan purse again.

Thank you.

Oh, my gosh.

If mommy drops this cake

we'll just turn around and never come back.

- Hey. - It's 3.40.

My mother arrives in 20 minutes

and Gabby can't greet her with that hair.

Which is natural and beautiful.

It is, of course, it is.

It's just Nana prefers it a certain way, right, baby?

- Nana likes proper little lady hair. - That's right.

Well, we have 20 minutes til Eunice

and 40 minutes of hair.

Why can't I wear some of Mom's hairs over there?

That's for when you grow up.

Thank you for your patience, Gabrielle.

But this kinda stuff is very important to Nana.

When she was a little girl growing up in North Carolina

how you presented yourself was everything.

We have ten minutes. Please pick it up.

You pick it up. I'm killing it over here.

Oh, god, let's go. Let's go.

No. Let's go. Come on. Come on.

I'm trying to go, baby.

- Put it on! - I'm going!

- Nana! - Mother!

Eunice!

Gabrielle, you look perfect!

I see you just returned from your matinee performance

in The Lion King.

Yes. And it was a very good show today.

Okay, go ahead.

- Harry, stop picking. - Just one olive.

So, Mom, Dad, I have a request.

What can the York-Goldenblatt ATM do for you today?

I need an electric keyboard.

Please say no.

Honey, you have a Steinway.

I'm taking my music in a new direction.

I'm writing songs.

Parents, I beg you, for the sake of all of us

- say no. - Rock, stop.

All last year I supported you realizing who you were.

- You did. Fuck. - Hey!

Sorry, I'm just frustrated that I can't say any more shady things.

Seriously, I need the Nord and a better audio interface.

I don't even know what any of that means

but here's my translation...

Record on your phone like everybody else.

I'm not everybody else.

- I'm a serious artist. - Oh, my god.

Honey, you have a job, playing for classes at ABT

so just save up.

That'll take forever.

I have something that I need to say now.

So do we. You're on your own, kid.

Right? Am I right?

Yes. Yes. Right.

You want it, you find a way.

That'll work.

Nya, come on, you have to admit

that call last week was crazy.

I'll admit I had too much to drink, and it was a...

little crazy.

And you admit that you were playing with fire in your motel room.

Nothing happened.

I could smell the sex through the phone.

Come on, I copped to crazy.

I didn't finish my sentence.

Yet.

- Yet? - Nothing happened yet.

I see.

Do you want it to?

Sometimes.

Most times, I want us to work out.

Do you have a plan for how that's gonna happen?

I do.

A surrogate.

Nya?

Baby, are you there?

Thanks, Frank.

Are there any visitors from out of town

who would like to identify?

Hi, I'm Miranda, and I'm an alcoholic.

- Hi, Miranda. - Hi, Miranda.

I'm new to AA and LA

and I don't have a lot to fill my days with while I'm out here

so I'm really grateful for these meetings.

- Welcome. - Thanks.

So, does anybody have a topic?

I have not seen a pair of virgin arms like yours

in, like, forever.

Seems like you're almost outta space.

So, yes, I do rent.

I'm Allie.

Yeah, filling the days was hard for me too when I first quit.

But I'm volunteering to clean the beach on Friday.

Offer's open.

With, like, an environmental group?

One of my many, yeah.

My husband calls me an actor-vist.

I can pick you up.

That'd be great. Thanks, Allie.

So, how are you feeling about the breakup?

Awful. Juan Jose was my longest relationship.

Ten years of blow-outs and confidences.

He's heard it all.

- I meant you and Zed. - Oh, shit.

That says a lot.

Alright, let's uncurl the blow-out break up.

If it's not too painful.

Well, it is still a little fresh, but...

He accused me of bailing out on all my relationships too soon.

He said I make up red flags just to get out

and that's why I'm alone.

He said that to you?

Actually, he screamed it out in a salon.

Do I bail out too quickly?

Well, I don't know about your relationships

but we have left a lot of host stands pretty quickly.

Yeah, I don't stay longer than ten minutes.

Look, I do the same thing.

I look for or find

you know, reasons not to move forward

if I'm not a hundred percent.

When I was single

I almost rented a house in the Hamptons six times.

But I always found a reason not to.

Was that reason always Bethenny Frankel?

Here you go.

Okay, let's get real. And by real, I mean real estate.

Do you know anyone else who still lives...

With someone they're married to?

- Yes. - Okay, so Zed's not the only one.

Right.

But I think he may be a mooch.

He told his ex-wife to pick up the lunch check.

I just got a feeling. Like, an uncomfortable feeling.

Well, if you're uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable.

It's like me with the vagina podcast commercial.

Okay, not at all.

- But go on. - Okay.

I'm just not comfortable pitching a vaginal wellness product.

You know, it's just...

not in my nature.

So I got out of it.

Juan Jose might say you should work through those feelings.

Juan Jose would scream it.

Darkness comes, hollow dreams Empty mirrors, I'm unseen

Did you not see the recording sign?

Calm down. I'm just grabbing my charger.

Lily, you have that new keyboard.

This is not smart parenting. I'm gonna kill your father.

Well, that's not smart parenting either

because now, you're in prison and we're alone.

Daddy didn't give me the money. I sold some of my clothes.

I'm sorry, what?

Well, you said to get it myself, so I called The Real Deal

and they came over and went through my closet.

Wait, The Real Real was here?

No... The Real Deal. It's way better.

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!

It's like The Real Real

but they're fast, sneaky, and they pay in cash.

You know, like a drug deal.

Yeah, how many drug deals have you seen go down?

This is serious.

I can't believe that Lily's perfect pink Chanel

the dress I chose for her first grown-up piano recital

is just out there, online.

- On sale! - This is blasphemy.

I think that's Lagerfeld's last collection.

In a few years, it'll be worth three times that.

Four. I am furious!

- Can I sue? - Your daughter?

No, them. The Real Deal. They broke into our home.

Char, there was no crowbar. There was no forced entry.

They had to be invited in, like vampires.

She is a minor.

They took advantage, and they took my Chanel.

- Excuse me, hi. - Yeah?

This iced tea isn't cutting it.

Can I get a vodka tonic with a straw?

- And a drink for this one, too. - Of course. Coming right up.

Why the day drinking you might ask?

I never ask.

My mother-in-law and her sorority sisters

are coming over for afternoon tea.

And she's the president

of the "comments that cut life a knife" chapter.

I'm just so surprised at Lily.

It was a gift.

Yes, a gift she returned for something she wanted more.

Like I did with that pinky ring you gave me for my 40th.

You returned the pinky ring?

What am I, a mob boss?

But it had that pretty little ruby chip.

Yes. Oddly feminine for a man's ring.

Who's it for, one of the Sopranos?

I remember how the little strap just fell off Lily's shoulder

just as she was finishing her Prelude Number 1 in C.

Question. Is this guy hot enough to be one of my Hotfellas?

Yes.

Hurry, Daddy, get a cab!

- We don't wanna miss the waltz. - Okay.

Taxi!

I wish we were going to hip-hop class.

Daddy! Daddy, here comes one!

- Yep. - Aren't they supposed to stop

if their light is on?

We'll get one, baby. It's okay.

Taxi!

This never happens when we're with Claire's daddy.

Ladies, meet me on the corner, okay?

Taxi!

Sir.

Excuse me, sir. You wanna...

Sir.

This is illegal, so unlock the door

or I'll report you!

Hey!

Hello!

- Yeah, you better go! - Is that your Herbert?

Certainly not. Let's go up 3rd.

- Okay? - Hi, Nana!

Nana!

That's not a cooking show.

No. I'm downloading Final Draft.

The least sexy sentence ever spoken after sex.

I bought it so we could rewrite that vagina copy.

The second least sexy sentence.

I thought you talked to Chloe and she was okay about it.

Yeah, she was, but then she circled back.

I hate when people circle back.

- You wear glasses? - Just when I read.

You know, we don't have to use that version.

Just, you know, put it in your own voice.

Are you ready?

Throw out some phrases you might say that would apply to this.

Humiliated, mortified, wanna die.

- I'll start. - Okay.

How's...

"Ladies, when I go out for a night on the town..."

- "Sometimes..." - Pardon?

- I'm just spit-balling here. - "A night on the town"?

Who's doing the talking?

Dorothy Parker's vagina?

Well, Carrie, I don't have one.

I'm not supposed to know how to talk about it.

Okay, let's have some fun with it.

What if you call it a "vajayjay"?

Well, I would, but I don't want people to think that

the podcast is a rerun from the 1990s.

Come on. You're the writer.

We're here, let's do this thing.

Alright, fine. But here...

is where we usually don't work.

Here is where we usually watch beef grill.

Okay, I got something.

"It'll take you from dry to wet-ass pussy."

- What? - It's more current.

It's Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion.

Well, I'm Carrie B

and I don't speak like that.

So, Megan Thee End.

This is a lovely dinner.

Sorry. I gotta find a new Hotfella. Kevin has Hep C.

And still no response from The Real Deal

or should I say The Real Steal's, corporate office.

- Oy. - I second that "oy."

Oh, my god! The dress just dropped another hundred dollars.

Why don't you just walk over there and buy the fucker back?

Because then they win!

No. Most of Lily's good pieces are gone.

Sold, no hope.

I want them to return this dress with an acknowledgment

- that what they did was wrong. - Good luck.

I'm still waiting for any acknowledgment from my mother

and she's been dead ten years.

Anthony.

- Anthony! - What?

How would you feel if someone stole

your beloved Hotfella's sourdough recipe

and sold it for cheap online?

I would cut them from tongue to taint.

Thank you.

Okay, people. Lily requests your presence at the piano

and because I am trapped into supporting her

I will be there too.

Should I open another bottle of red?

No, sweetie, no.

Showtime.

I am not, not the same Caught inside this gilded cage

Darkness comes, hollow dreams Empty mirrors, I'm unseen

Park Avenue streets Where do they lead

Stuck in the deep, goddamn

The power of privilege

Shoulda opened that second bottle.

No reason or rhyme, lost in the climb

Livin' a life confined

The power of privilege

Who is she, Lily Eilish?

'Cause I always have to be

The good girl, I'm a good girl

No, I'm not allowed to be me

I'm a good girl, I'm a good girl

Go back to bed, Gabby. This is Mommy-Daddy time.

Actually, it's Mother time.

Oh, Mother.

Is the electric teapot giving you trouble again?

I can make you a cup.

I think it's you who needs a cup.

Preferably chamomile.

What was that display all about today?

If those ladies weren't all half-blind with cataracts

I'd be mortified.

Imagine my horror seeing my son

the pride of Morehouse, and of Harvard

pounding the hood of a taxicab

like some deranged squeegee man

demanding a tip.

What happened? What did I miss?

I pounded on the hood of a cab one time

because that man saw your daughter and I

- standing there... - It's irrelevant!

We never surrender our dignity.

Your grandfather faced the brickbats of Selma

without ever loosening his tie.

Wexleys win by winning.

Didn't the Emancipation Proclamation

free us from head wraps?

Oh, god.

This isn't like you.

And in front of Gabby?

I did it because she was standing right there.

To look at her tiny, little face

confused because her Daddy couldn't manage to get a taxicab?

I never thought I'd say these words...

but your mother is right.

You know the rules.

When we go off, they win

so you have to keep it in check.

Because if you pound on the wrong car

and they take you away

she's gonna find a way to blame me.

Thank you so much. Thank you. You've been awesome!

Thank you.

Now listen, before I leave here tonight

I just wanna... I just wanna take a moment to introduce

a very special guest here tonight.

Playing my dad on my new pilot

the one and only, TV legend, Tony Danza!

I know what you're all thinking.

Too hot to play anyone's father.

Tony, come on up here.

- Come on up here! Come on up! - You can't stand here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Excuse me. You're in the way. Hello.

I'm sorry.

Tony Danza!

Okay, I got something.

Saved by the bell.

Oh, I gotta take this, it's my friend in LA.

But truthfully, I'd take a robocall to get outta this.

Hello?

Hey! What're you up to?

Oh, you know

writing a commercial for a line of vaginal products.

Why? Are your books not selling?

No, Franklyn and I have to do it for the podcast.

Hey, listen, I have a question.

As a friend, how do you phrase it

when you have trouble down there?

I don't know, I have nothing but good news down there.

How does that help me?

I don't know what happened. I kissed a guy in an elevator

and now I'm part of a filthy Tracy-Hepburn writing team.

Yeah, I didn't think you could do just sex.

Well, now it's sex with homework.

Oh, Carrie, I have to hang up. Tony Danza's coming right at me.

I get it, you're fancy. All right.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Hi. - Miranda, this is Tony.

- Tony, this is Miranda. - Hello, Miranda.

Such a pleasure to meet Che's significant person.

Hi.

Oh, I'm thrilled to meet you.

Well, then, you know, I was just saying to Che

we should... we should have dinner tomorrow night, huh?

The three of us. What'd you say?

- You're the boss. - Cute, cute.

She's cute.

- It is she, right? - She.

Yeah, okay. See? I'm two for two.

So, I circled back to Chloe on her circle back.

And?

And she's making it seem like this is a deal breaker

for Sex and the City.

So, I bolded the important bullet points.

- Let's give it another shot. - No, let's not.

I appreciate your zeal, but...

I think my vagina has to write its own monologue.

Thank God.

Well, if you need any help

I got a ton of great ideas.

Oh, my god. Who did this to you?

EZ Blow on 68th Street.

Juan Jose, you made your point. I got back with Zed.

Look, I'm not gonna beg.

Do you want this top-of-the-line tequila

- and my apology or not? - What are you apologizing for?

For taking what you said too personally.

I know you meant well.

Not necessarily. I blow hot and cold.

I told this one not to have kids

I told that one her bangs were bad

and I told that one to please get a lipo.

No one's listening.

But I was right about the bangs.

Abdal, Kiki's gonna finish you. Seema is back.

She's my number one.

(Spanish) Put this in for me, please.

What is this?

Nya, I can't talk now.

I'm saving the planet. You're welcome.

Well, I'm saving myself

by de-Andre-fying my apartment and my life.

Sayonara

tacky-ass Japanese lantern he bought in a Tokyo airport in 1999!

- You're getting rid of Andre Rashad? - No!

He got rid of himself.

He told me he hasn't cheated on me yet.

And then, after our many conversations

about my complicated feelings about having a baby

he suggests a surrogate.

A surrogate!

Miranda, he hasn't heard me at all.

Not in two years. So...

That's it! Because motel girl plus the surrogate

equals I'm done!

I'm so sorry.

I'm not. So, I'm carefully packing his things.

Buh-bye, patchouli incense.

Later, lame-ass, college roommate's mixed-media

"collage homage to Nubian women"

made of Korean weave hair!

Bonfire of the beanies at 11!

- Miranda. - Oh, hold on.

I have to go. Here's your bag.

I'm sorry, my kid's school just called.

There was some micro-aggression over a Squishmallow.

Preschool drama.

Go, go. I can get an Uber home.

Okay, bye.

Sorry.

Nya, I should hang up.

Cell phones and environmentalists, not a great match.

Do you know anyone who wants to buy six or eight guitars, cheap?

I'm having a "going out of Andre" sale.

Okay. Buh-bye.

We're making real progress, huh?

The earth is already dead.

We're basically just cleaning up a corpse.

You're a delight. Let's talk more.

Not funny.

Well, here we are.

- Are we ready? - Oh, I am so ready.

I am so ready. You just tell me when.

You know, you give me the sign.

Take that trash can right there

I'm gonna throw it right through this window.

No. I am gonna kill them with kindness.

They're gonna give me that dress back

and I'm gonna bring my baby home!

You are so clever!

There's some really great stuff in here, hm?

No, there isn't.

No, there isn't.

Hello. I am Charlotte York-Goldenblatt.

You may have received my e-mails.

I don't know.

Well, they were numerous.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

Oh, my god. These Sonia Rykiel...

How has nobody bought these?

How long have they been just sitting there?

I don't know.

I have an itty-bitty problem

and I am sure that you and I can solve it together.

- What is your name? - Eden.

Eden. You and I together, Eden, can solve this.

So, my daughter, Lily, sold you a bunch of clothes

and she is still a minor.

Surely, you have rules against this.

This isn't a bar. We don't card.

Starting fresh.

Eden.

I am looking for this Chanel dress. Is it at this location?

I don't know.

Well, maybe you could look here

in this little computer, to see.

These boots are in super good shape.

You are sleeping with the enemy, Carrie.

I'm sorry.

- Great job. - Thanks.

- Yeah, no problem. - Thank you.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

I lost my phone! Did anybody see a phone?

Oh, my god.

I don't have my phone, and I need it to call Uber.

Uber's a Ponzi scheme.

Again? So helpful!

God. Did you...

Did you see a phone?

I lost my phone!

Bummer!

Fuck.

Fuck.

Hi.

Hello. I'm sorry to accost you

but I lost my phone trying to save the planet

and I wonder if I could borrow one of yours for a super quick call?

- Yeah. - Oh, thank you so much!

You're welcome.

- Could you open it for me? - Yep.

Thank you.

- Alright. - Want some?

No, thank you.

Breathe.

Unknown caller.

Better not be the Democrats again.

Hello.

Carrie, it's Miranda. I lost my phone.

Well, whose phone is this?

A nice surfer in a parking lot.

Why are you so very fancy?

What's Che's phone number?

You don't know Che's phone number?

Don't say it like that.

Nobody knows anybody's number anymore.

All right, hold on a second, I'll look it up.

You see!

- Hey, what's up? - Hey, what's up?

- Hey. - Hi.

She's just getting me a number.

- Hello? - It's Miranda.

Why aren't you home yet?

I lost my phone on the beach, and I can't call an Uber without it.

Can you come and get me?

At the beach?

It... And it's rush hour.

It'll take me, like, an hour and a half to get there.

We have dinner with Tony Danza in an hour!

Well, I don't, obviously.

Shit.

Do you want me to cancel or...

You can't cancel, it's Tony Danza!

Okay, I have an idea.

I'll send someone to get you. Where are you?

Can you tell them where I am?

We're like off PCH, like, across from Neptune's Net.

- You got that? - Yeah, yeah, I got it. I got it.

- Stay there. - Where the fuck else am I going?

- Shit. - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Please stop offering me that.

So where am I? Neptune something?

- It's up there. - Neptune's Net is that way.

Okay. That way, all right.

Thank you guys so much. You saved my life.

- A thousand times thank you. - You're welcome.

Good luck.

Okay, I found it. It is in a warehouse.

Fine. I give up. I'll buy it back.

You can't. It's on hold.

What? It's on hold where?

- I don't know. - Listen, Eden.

My husband is a partner at a major New York law firm

so you might wanna watch your tone

or I'm gonna call your manager.

Hey, Charlotte, can I have a word over here? Real quick.

Dead as she is, I don't think Eden can take much more interrogation.

And she's got a phone.

You're like this close to being a meme.

I know. I don't know what's wrong with me.

And even if I got the dress back

I don't even know if Lily could fit into it anymore.

First the Chanel, and then the Chopin.

I just feel like she's rejecting everything I ever gave her.

Is she rejecting it, or is she, you know, like you just said?

Is she outgrowing it?

You know, and that's healthy, right?

Wanting to change and move on.

Who am I to say? I'm still fighting to save Sex and the City.

I'm not sure it fits me anymore either.

I don't need that dress.

I have the memory.

And Lily.

Whoever she is now.

Let's go.

Yeah, but, before we go, can I just get the other boot?

Then I'll have a pair.

Miranda?

Che sent me. I'm Lyle.

Fair warning, Lyle.

I smell.

How bad is it?

I used to shuck oysters in high school.

So it's nostalgic.

That's generous.

Thank you so much for driving all the way out here.

Actually, I live out here.

Yeah, I work at the Malibu Soho house, so...

- Malibu Soho, nice. - Yeah.

- And what do you do there, Lyle? - I'm a mixologist.

Used to be called a bartender before their margaritas hit 22 bucks.

And how do you know Che?

We were married.

Technically, we still are.

- So ukulele, huh? - Oh, yeah, you bet.

That's what I heard.

Che.

I'm really excited about being in your project.

I feel like there's a but coming.

Well, there is.

I can't be Mexican.

I mean, it's just not gonna fly, especially these days.

I mean, I thought because he's Mexican-American

and it's a comedy, I thought I'd be okay, but...

I'm already getting pushback on social media.

And rightly so. I'm not Mexican.

Okay, but my father's Mexican.

- I mean... - Yeah. I know, I know, but...

He doesn't have to be. He can be Italian, like me

and we switch your mother to Mexican.

But I'm Irish-Mexican.

Italian is just Irish with better food.

The important thing is to preserve the Mexican.

So I spoke to ABC, and if you approve

your Irish mother is now dead

and we switch all of her emotional scenes

to the Mexican grandmother. Your abuela.

Who by the way, is killing it in the run-throughs.

Listen, kid, I want you to succeed. I really do.

I think what you're doing here is really important and cute.

I think you're gonna open a lot of hearts

and change a lot of minds.

But you're not gonna do that with Tony Danza as a Mexican.

I've come too far to get canceled now.

And the Danza-lions agree with me.

I'm sorry, the Danza-lions?

My hardcore fans.

So what got into you last week?

Me. I got into me.

I sometimes get lost in my head.

But those five amazing texts from you helped me find my way back.

I have a proposition for you.

I'm all ears.

There's an opportunity to invest in this new private club

here in Manhattan.

They just want 200,000.

So, let's go in as partners?

A hundred thousand each?

Interesting.

And what's this club called? Red Flag?

I thought those five texts were suspect.

Three would have been appropriate.

It's not like that. This is a legitimate investment.

Yeah. Well...

Maybe.

But I'm investing in myself.

Juan Jose was wrong.

I was right.

Where are you going?

We're having chocolate mousse.

Who the fuck is Juan Jose?

You are not gonna believe what just happened to me at dinner.

What's that face?

I don't know your number.

Excuse me?

Your phone number. I had no idea.

I had to call Carrie.

Also, I had no idea you're actually married.

Well, technically.

Yeah, we're both such slackers

we never got around to getting divorced.

Che, I don't know who you are.

Well...

Well, join the club, 'cause up until a hour ago

I thought I was Mexican-Irish.

Tony Danza and ABC just made me Italian.

Va fongool!

I'm serious.

Yeah, and please don't be.

I've got enough on my plate right now.

And we're having so much fun.

Let's... let's not let your lost phone

become a couple's existential crisis, okay?

My number is...

three-four-seven...

five-three-two...

nine-nine...

Are you getting this?

Never thought I could

but I can actually live with what I wrote.

Yeah, it's really funny.

Is there...

Is there an inordinate amount of box activity in the hallway today?

Hey. I hope you're happy. You two wouldn't talk about her vagina

and now everyone's outta work.

That's ridiculous, Chloe. What happened?

Every show is over, that's what happened.

They sold these studios to Apple.

Or Peach or whatever the fuck.

I told you, sinking ship.

Word of advice, Carrie

next job, don't be so precious about your pussy.

Well, I'll take that to heart.

Okay, but you've said

more than once I might add

that we could always sell the podcast somewhere else.

Well, that was before.

It's hard to sell something that's been canceled.

Wanna try?

I don't know if it's smart to go any further.

With the podcast?

Carrie.

You've made it pretty clear that you want this to be a Thursday thing.

And I'm starting to feel like...

maybe I want more.

So, if Thursday's still the case

I better get out.

Before I'm all fucked up Friday through Wednesday.

Well, I wouldn't want that.

Yeah. Neither would I.

Well...

Thank you for the Sex and the City.

Double entendre intended.

See? You are the writer.

And just like that, I freed up my entire week.

Translator: IYUNO