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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,700 "SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS." 2 00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:01,790 H-A-P-P-I-- GOOD, ONE "N." 3 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,140 "HONEY WHITLOCK." 4 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,969 W-H-I-T-- GOOD, GOOD. 5 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,232 THAT'S GOOD. 6 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:12,235 TRY MOVING A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT, SINCLAIR. 7 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,237 IS THAT BETTER, MR. STILLINGS ? 8 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,848 YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 9 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:20,504 BUT TRY MOVING THE "N" A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT. 10 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,811 HMM. 11 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,422 - HAVE YOU MET MISS WHITLOCK YET ? - NOT TILL TONIGHT. 12 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,164 BUT DON'T WORRY, SINCLAIR. I'LL INTRODUCE YOU. 13 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,863 YOU PROMISE ? I'D KILL TO MEET HER. 14 00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:35,215 [ People Chattering, Whistle Blows ] 15 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:39,654 OHH, WHAT A TOWN. [ Laughs ] 16 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:43,048 YOU KNOW, I TELL EVERYBODY IN HOLLYWOOD... 17 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:46,051 THAT IF YOU WANT TO SHOOT ON LOCATION IN BALTIMORE, 18 00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:49,316 YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO BRING A CREW FROM LOS ANGELES. 19 00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:53,972 BECAUSE BALTIMORE REALLY IS BEST. 20 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:57,454 AND REMEMBER, MISS WHITLOCK... 21 00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,283 IS EVERY INCH A MOVIE STAR, 22 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:05,114 AND SHE EXPECTS TO BE ONSTAGE AT 7:10 P.M. EXACTLY... 23 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:08,291 IN ORDER TO ENSURE LIVE COVERAGE... 24 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,251 FROM EACH OF THE THREE LOCAL NEWS SHOWS. 25 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,166 OH, BY THE WAY, 26 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:18,910 I HEAR SHE'S REALLY A NICE PERSON. 27 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:23,611 [ Siren Wailing ] 28 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,353 LOOK AT THIS DUMP OF A TOWN. 29 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:29,660 GET ME THE FUCK BACK TO L.A. 30 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:34,317 GOD, IF ONE MORE ASSHOLE MENTIONS A CRAB CAKE TO ME, I THINK I'M GONNA PUKE. 31 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,798 WELL, DID YOU TRY THE STEAMED CRABS ? 32 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:40,062 THEY'RE RED AND REALLY TASTY.NO, I DID NOT. 33 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:43,761 I'M NOT INTERESTED IN ANY KIND OF MEAL THAT YOU HAVE TO BEAT WITH A FUCKING MALLET, 34 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,286 WEARING SOME STUPID KIND OF LITTLE BIB. 35 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:49,289 [ Knock At Door ]JUST A MINUTE ! 36 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:52,553 WHILE FAMILIES OF MUTANTS GAWK IN MY FACE. 37 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,337 NO, THANK YOU. 38 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,122 HI. 39 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:04,478 YOUR LIMOUSINE IS HERE, MISS WHITLOCK. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 40 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:08,351 WELL, THANK YOU, CHARLES, DARLING. I'M SO EXCITED. 41 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,179 WE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. 42 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:20,711 LIBBY, DO YOU THINK THAT PAT NIXON GOT FUCKED IN THIS HOTEL ROOM ? 43 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,452 WHAT ? 44 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,063 IT IS CALLED THE PRESIDENTIAL SUITE, ISN'T IT ? 45 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:28,240 YES, BUT-- 46 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:31,853 I BET SHE DID. CALL THE MANAGER AND ASK HIM. 47 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:35,030 I CAN'T ASK THAT. 48 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,380 PAT NIXON WAS A STROKE VICTIM. 49 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:40,775 I BELIEVE IT IS YOUR JOB TO ASK, IS IT NOT ? 50 00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:44,126 NOW, CALL DOWNSTAIRS AND ASK THE MANAGER... 51 00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:47,782 IF PAT NIXON GOT FUCKED IN MY HOTEL ROOM. 52 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,132 I WANT TO KNOW. 53 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,352 YES, MISS WHITLOCK. 54 00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:56,617 [ Chattering ] 55 00:05:56,660 --> 00:06:00,751 6:41 P.M. 56 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,971 A STAR IS BORN. 57 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,190 TEN-FOUR, PETIE. 58 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,327 CHRIST, LYLE. LOOK ! THERE'S WHAT'S-HER-NAME FROM E! NETWORK. 59 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,069 [ Chuckles ] WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TITS ON HER ! 60 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,114 [ Grunts ] 61 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,858 6:43 P.M. 62 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:24,514 ♪♪ [ Piano ] 63 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:28,039 THE HOTEL MANAGER SAID NO. PAT NIXON NEVER STAYED HERE. 64 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:31,956 BUT NANCY REAGAN DID IN 1986.YOU ACTUALLY ASKED HIM ? 65 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,611 Y-YOU SAID TO CALL DOWNSTAIRS. 66 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:39,442 YOU ASKED THE HOTEL MANAGER IF PAT NIXON HAD SEX IN MY ROOM ? 67 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:42,445 WELL, SORT OF. I-I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED TO KNOW. 68 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,926 I WAS KIDDING, LIBBY ! 69 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:49,060 HE MUST THINK YOU'RE A COMPLETE LUNATIC. 70 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,673 [ Sighs ] GOOD GOD, YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING. 71 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,153 [ Sighs ] 72 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,373 GOOD LUCK, MISS WHITLOCK. 73 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,462 [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 74 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:06,208 EXCUSE ME. DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT LITTLE BITCH JUST SAID TO ME ? 75 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,602 - SHE DIDN'T KNOW. - IN SHOW BUSINESS, 76 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:12,040 WE SAY "BREAK A LEG," NEVER FUCKING "GOOD LUCK" ! 77 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:15,826 THAT'S JUST AN OLD SUPERSTITION.MS. WHITLOCK, THERE'S PHOTO OPS WITH THE MAYOR IN THE LOBBY. 78 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:19,482 YOU KNOW, THAT LITTLE COCKSUCKER JUST PUT A CURSE ON MY GODDAMN PREMIERE. 79 00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,876 [ Bell Dings ] 80 00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,618 IS EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD AN ASSHOLE ? 81 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,359 6:42.OH, THAT'S NICE. 82 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:30,319 ♪♪ [ Hard Rock ] 83 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:39,633 6:44 P.M. BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY. 84 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,852 TWO POPCORNS, PLEASE.BUTTER OR PLAIN ? 85 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,898 [ Woman ] HONEY WHITLOCK ! 86 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:47,379 THERE SHE IS. YOU BETTER GET A SHOT. 87 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,686 OVER THERE !MISS WHITLOCK, WHAT AN HONOR. 88 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,863 MAYOR FENWICK ! 89 00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,910 [ Laughter, Chattering ] 90 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:04,092 6:46 P.M. IN THE NAME OF UNDERGROUND CINEMA. 91 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:07,878 I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I JUST LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH THE CITY. 92 00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:11,752 AND BALTIMORE LOVES YOU BACK. [ Laughs ] 93 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:17,801 I, ADAM FENWICK, MAYOR OF THE CITY OF BALTIMORE, 94 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,630 DO HEREBY PROCLAIM OCTOBER 29... 95 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:23,241 TO BE HONEY WHITLOCK DAY IN BALTIMORE... 96 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:26,636 AND DO COMMAND THIS OBSERVATION TO ALL OF OUR CITIZENS. 97 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,812 WHEREAS-- 98 00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,517 6:47 P.M. 99 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:41,172 HEY, HEY, M.P.A.A., HOW MANY MOVIES DID YOU CENSOR TODAY ? 100 00:08:45,437 --> 00:08:47,178 [ Sighs ][ Sighs ] 101 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,835 WHAT'S THE MATTER, MISS WHITLOCK ? 102 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:54,142 A WHITE FUCKING LIMOUSINE ! 103 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:58,059 NOBODY'LL KNOW. WE'RE IN BALTIMORE. 104 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:02,411 DO I LOOK LIKE LIBERACE'S GODDAMN BOYFRIEND, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE ? 105 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:06,763 I HAVE "BLACK LIMOUSINE ONLY" IN MY CONTRACT. 106 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:10,245 THE CHARITY PROBABLY MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS. IT WAS AN HONEST MISTAKE. 107 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:13,465 DO I LOOK LIKE A COKE DEALER ?NO, MISS WHITLOCK. 108 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,381 DO I LOOK LIKE I AM GOING TO THE FUCKING PROM ? 109 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:19,994 BREAK A LEG, MISS WHITLOCK. 110 00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,996 HERE YOU GO, SIR. 111 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:27,523 [ Engine Starts ] 112 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:31,832 UH, MISS WHITLOCK, SECURITY'S GONNA HAVE MY ASS IF WE'RE LATE. WE GOTTA GO. 113 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,965 DO NOT SAY "ASS" TO ME, TRAILER TRASH. 114 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,186 I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED. 115 00:09:38,229 --> 00:09:41,232 [ Chattering ] 116 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,934 NOW, YOU'RE WITH THE STUDIO, IS THAT CORRECT ? 117 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:50,546 YES. OH, OH, I'M SORRY. LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU. 118 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,289 GOT IT RIGHT HERE. YEAH. HERE YOU GO. 119 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:58,075 I'M SO SORRY. HERE, THESE FIRST TWO RIGHT THERE. OKAY, ENJOY THE SHOW. 120 00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:01,731 YEAH, 6:48 P.M. AN USHER'S JOB IS NEVER DONE. 121 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,691 PUT DOWN THE FLASHLIGHT, PICK UP THE GUN. 122 00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:26,190 SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS IS, YOU KNOW, A SCREWBALL ROMANTIC COMEDY. 123 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:30,891 IT'S LIFE-AFFIRMING BUT REALISTIC, AND, WELL, TO BE HONEST, 124 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,981 WITH ALL THE MISERY THAT GOES ON IN THE WORLD TODAY, 125 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,636 COULDN'T WE USE A LITTLE OPTIMISM IN THE MOVIES ? 126 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,421 [ Chattering Continues ] 127 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:52,173 6:50 P.M. FUCK THE STUDIO SYSTEM ! 128 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,262 TICKETS, PLEASE. 129 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:02,226 THE HEART FUND'S A WONDERFUL CAUSE. THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT. 130 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,228 YOU'RE WELCOME. 131 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:08,537 7:01 P.M. INCH BY MOTHERFUCKING INCH. 132 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,757 YES, SIR ?TWO FOR HENMAN. 133 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,151 WHY DON'T YOU JUST SIT RIGHT THERE ? 134 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,855 [ Beeping ] 135 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,339 7:02 P.M. 136 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:31,691 WHEN THE WORD IS GIVEN, WE WILL SEIZE THE CINEMA. 137 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:36,217 [ Crowd Shouting, Cheering ] 138 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,263 HEY, COME BACK ! GIVE ME AN AUTOGRAPH ! 139 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,008 7:06 P.M. THE BIG SNATCH. 140 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,750 GOOD EVENING, MISS WHITLOCK, 141 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,405 AND WELCOME TO THE HISTORIC SENATOR THEATER. 142 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,407 THANK YOU. 143 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:54,278 [ Cheering Continues ] 144 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,294 ENJOY THE SHOW.THANK YOU. 145 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:13,341 GOOD EVENING. I'M SYLVIA MALLORY, 146 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,517 THE CHAIRMAN OF THE BALTIMORE HEART FUND, 147 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,041 AND THIS IS WILLIAM. 148 00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,217 HE'S SO CUTE. 149 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:28,051 WILLIAM HAD HEART SURGERY JUST SEVEN DAYS AGO. 150 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:32,099 AND THANKS TO THE BLOOD TRANSFUSIONS PAID FOR BY YOUR GENEROSITY... 151 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:35,711 AT TONIGHT'S PREMIERE, HE'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. 152 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,713 AREN'T YOU, WILLIAM ? 153 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,976 I DON'T WANNA BE HERE ! 154 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,457 WILLIAM'S A LITTLE GRUMPY. 155 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,372 GET OFF OF ME, UGLY ! 156 00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,809 BUT HE'S ALIVE, AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS. 157 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:50,944 [ Chattering ] 158 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:53,424 MISS WHITLOCK ! MISS WHITLOCK ! 159 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:56,645 MISS WHITLOCK, PLEASE ! [ Shouting Continues ] 160 00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,908 WHAT ? 161 00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:01,345 CHANNEL 45 HERE. CAN I ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS ? 162 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:08,526 AND NOW FOR THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. 163 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,312 YOU FIRST SAW HONEY WHITLOCK ON THE SCREEN-- 164 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,836 YOU GUYS HAVE RESERVED SEATS.THANK YOU. 165 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,621 [ Mallory Continues, Indistinct ] 166 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:27,589 7:09 P.M. HONEY WHITLOCK, WELCOME TO FILM HELL. 167 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:30,113 [ Applause ] 168 00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:34,988 [ Mallory ] AND FROM THEN ON, HIT AFTER HIT.7:09 P.M. AND 30 SECONDS. 169 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,469 THE BIG HURT.WATCH IT, YOU LITTLE FUCKER ! 170 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:43,910 HER OSCAR-NOMINATED PERFORMANCE IN FORCED ENTRY. 171 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:48,392 [ Applause ]AND TONIGHT, SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS. 172 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,438 [ Applause ] 173 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,744 AND NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 174 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:56,836 A BIG BALTIMORE WELCOME FOR MISS HONEY WHITLOCK. 175 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,839 ♪♪ [ Fanfare ] 176 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,266 THANK YOU, THANK YOU. YOU'RE SO KIND. 177 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:41,271 UM, I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE MOVIE, AND I JUST-- 178 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,013 [ Boy Gasping ]I LOVE YOU, BALTIMORE. I REALLY DO. 179 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:50,367 I AM CECIL B. DEMENTED, AND THIS IS A FUCKING KIDNAPPING ! 180 00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,848 [ Crowd Gasping, Screaming ] 181 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,068 GET DOWN, EVERYBODY ! 182 00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,768 [ Screaming Continues ] 183 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,119 ♪♪ [ Hard Rock Continues ] 184 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,300 [ Gasping ] SON OF A BITCH ! 185 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:18,047 - KEEP MOVING ! - [ Groaning ] 186 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,138 [ Gasping Continues ] 187 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,929 [ Gunshots ] [ Screaming Continues ] 188 00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:32,409 [ Groaning Continues ] 189 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:36,370 [ Laughing ] 190 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,981 HELP ! HEY ![ Coughing ] 191 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:41,766 [ Grunts ] 192 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,465 WOMEN IN FILM !ALL RIGHT, SISTER ! 193 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:48,730 HEY, SHE'S GOT PHOTO APPROVAL ![ Woman Grunts ] 194 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:52,342 [ Screaming] HONEY ! HONEY ! 195 00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:54,692 HELP ME !GET OUT ! PREMIERE'S OVER ! 196 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,607 COME ON, YOU GUYS ! COME ON, COME ON ! 197 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:06,922 YEAH ! YEAH ! 198 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,450 DROP YOUR WEAPON ! [ Grunts ] 199 00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:16,192 [ Gunshots, Screaming Continue ] 200 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,501 GET DOWN ! 201 00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:23,504 HELP ! CALL THE STUDIO ! CALL JACK VALENTI ! 202 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:26,507 HELP ME, SOMEBODY !GET IN THE TRUNK ! 203 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:29,466 SHUT UP ! GET IN THERE !NO ! NO ! NO ! 204 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:32,295 GET IN THERE !OH, SHIT ! OH ! NO ! 205 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:35,081 GET IN THERE ! RODNEY, COME ON ! LET'S GO ! 206 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:39,346 POWER TO THE PEOPLE WHO PUNISH BAD CINEMA ! 207 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,609 [ Honey ] HELP ! 208 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:44,220 ♪ BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪ 209 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,049 ♪ BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪ 210 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,051 ♪ I'M SORRY, SHORTY IT'S BUSINESS ♪ 211 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,532 ♪ 'CAUSE THIS IS HOW WE LIVE THIS THIS BUSINESS IS HARD ♪ 212 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,621 ♪ WITHOUT A STAR, KID YEAH, YOU ALL THAT ♪ 213 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,797 ♪ BUT YOU WON'T BE RECEIVING NO CALLBACKS ♪ 214 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,799 ♪ OR GETTING MONEY IN TALL STACKS ♪ 215 00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,931 ♪ WE GOTCHA, AND WE GONNA USE YOUR FACE PROPER ♪ 216 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,064 ♪ BITCH, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT AN OSCAR ♪ 217 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,066 ♪ AND SHRIMP AND LOBSTER 218 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,068 ♪ HOPIN' WE COULD GET YA 219 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:09,071 ♪ TO COME HERE AND OPEN OUR PICTURE ♪ 220 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:12,335 ♪ YOU ALL ALONE WITH THE CINE-NIGGAS FUCK THE PRIVATE TRAILER ♪ 221 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:15,382 ♪ DANCE LESSONS WITH IRENE CARA, IT'S FLAGRANT WE USING YOUR NAME TRICK ♪ 222 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,601 ♪ DISCUSS GROSS POINTS WITH YOUR AGENT ♪ 223 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,516 ♪ 'CAUSE FROM US YOU AIN'T GETTIN' SHIT ♪ 224 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,823 ♪ BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪ 225 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,217 ♪ BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪ 226 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,610 ♪ SHE'S A BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪ 227 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:29,265 ♪ SHE'S A BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪ 228 00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:32,486 ♪ SHE'S A BANKABLE BITCH WE DON'T NEED NO PITCH ♪♪[ Muffled Cries ] 229 00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:35,141 [ Whining Continues ] 230 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,241 HELLO, MISS WHITLOCK. 231 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:57,076 I AM CECIL B. DEMENTED, AND I'M YOUR NEW DIRECTOR. 232 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:00,427 [ Whining ]I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET YOUR CO-STARS. 233 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:03,082 I CALL THEM THE SPROCKET HOLES. THIS IS CHERISH. 234 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:08,522 HI. I PLAYED YOU IN LOTS OF PORNO MOVIES. 235 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:12,221 SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS-- I'VE ALREADY SHOT IT, 236 00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,658 ONLY IT'S CALLED SOME KIND OF HORNINESS. 237 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:19,576 THAT'S ALL BEHIND ME. I'M AN OUTLAW CINEMA GIRL NOW. 238 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,318 - LYLE. - HI. I'M LYLE. 239 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:27,106 I'M YOUR LEADING MAN. 240 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:32,937 I'VE HAD A BONER FOR YOU FOR YEARS. 241 00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:37,594 DON'T WORRY. WE'VE ALL TAKEN A VOW OF CELIBACY FOR CELLULOID. 242 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,467 NO ONE GETS LAID UNTIL WE'VE FINISHED OUR MOVIE. 243 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:44,732 - WE'RE HORNY... - [ All Moaning ] 244 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:47,256 BUT OUR FILM COMES FIRST. 245 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,345 AND NOW FOR THE CREW. 246 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:54,872 I'M PAM. 247 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,703 I'M DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY, AND YOU BETTER HIT YOUR MARK. 248 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:07,276 AND REMEMBER, SPEAK UP, BITCH ! 249 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,409 I'M CHARDONNAY, AND I DO THE SOUND. 250 00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:16,720 [ Gasps ] 251 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:20,333 I'M LEWIS, THE ART DIRECTOR, AND I HOPE YOU DIG IT HERE. 252 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:25,033 - [ Clicks ] - 'CAUSE YOU AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE ELSE. 253 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:30,212 I'M FIDGET, THE COSTUMER. 254 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:34,129 [ Screams ]SORRY. I GOTTA GIVE YOU A NEW LOOK. 255 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,481 HI. 256 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:41,528 I'M RAVEN. I'M A SATANIST, AND I'LL BE DOING YOUR MAKEUP. 257 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:45,227 OH, MY GOD, YOU LOOK SO PALE. 258 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,100 [ Grunts ] SORRY... 259 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,842 BUT SATAN SAYS YOU NEED MORE COLOR. 260 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,630 CALL ME RODNEY. 261 00:19:56,673 --> 00:20:00,242 TOMORROW, I'M BLEACHING YOUR HAIR OUT PLATINUM. 262 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,462 [ Groaning ] AND I SHOULD WARN YOU. 263 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,812 I HATE FUCKING ROOTS ! 264 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:09,991 HEY, REMEMBER ME ? I'M PETIE. I'LL BE YOUR DRIVER. 265 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:13,124 ♪♪ [ Indistinct ]I'LL TAKE YOU ANYWHERE. 266 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:17,694 ANYWHERE BUT HOME. [ Chuckles ] 267 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,399 I'M DINAH, CECIL'S PRODUCER. 268 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,838 AND I DO EVERYTHING. 269 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,623 I'VE BEEN KNOCKING DOWN MONEY FROM EVERY BIG HOLLYWOOD HIT... 270 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,191 FOR YEARS JUST TO PAY FOR THIS EQUIPMENT ! 271 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,150 SO FUCK WITH ME, SISTER, AND YOU'RE DEAD ! 272 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,939 WE MADE THE NEWS. 273 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:49,291 SO ONCE AGAIN, OUR TOP STORY: SYLVIA MALLORY, 274 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,946 THE 52-YEAR-OLD CHAIRWOMAN OF THE BALTIMORE HEART FUND, 275 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:55,254 DIED TONIGHT AT UNION MEMORIAL HOSPITAL... 276 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,778 FOLLOWING AN ONSTAGE HEART ATTACK SHE SUFFERED... 277 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:01,347 IN THE MIDDLE OF HONEY WHITLOCK'S KIDNAPPING AT TONIGHT'S MOVIE PREMIERE. 278 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,219 THE TEENAGE GANG OF CINEMA TERRORISTS... 279 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:07,527 WHO APPARENTLY INFILTRATED THE STAFF OF THE SENATOR THEATER... 280 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:10,617 ARE NOW ELIGIBLE FOR THE DEATH PENALTY IN THE STATE OF MARYLAND. 281 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:13,054 - [ Gasping ] - NONE OF THEM HAVE BEEN APPREHENDED. 282 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:19,408 WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUR FIRST FILM, MISS WHITLOCK, AND NOBODY'S GONNA STOP US. 283 00:21:19,452 --> 00:21:22,324 LOTS OF KIDS DREAM OF MAKING A MOVIE, 284 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:25,545 BUT ONLY THE ONES WILLING TO DIE FOR IT SUCCEED. 285 00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:28,548 [ Whimpering ] 286 00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:33,161 ♪♪ [ Hard Rock ] 287 00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:38,340 [ Glass Shattering ] 288 00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:42,475 OW ! OW ! OW ! OW ! OW ! 289 00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:44,607 I DON'T WANNA BE BLONDE ! 290 00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:47,610 YOU'RE GOING OFF THE DEEP END OF THE CLAIROL COLOR CHART. 291 00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:50,134 OW ! IT IS BURNING MY SCALP ! 292 00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,834 HEY, BEAUTY COMES FROM AGONY. 293 00:21:53,877 --> 00:21:55,879 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. 294 00:21:55,923 --> 00:22:00,754 I HAVEN'T HAD THIS MUCH FUN SINCE MY LAST LIVESTOCK MUTILATION. 295 00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:03,713 OUCH ! THAT REALLY HURTS ! 296 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:07,978 IN THE HOUSE OF PAIN, THERE ARE 10,000 SHRINES. 297 00:22:08,022 --> 00:22:10,372 ALLISTAIR CROWLEY SAID THAT. 298 00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:12,635 LET'S WASH HER OUT. 299 00:22:12,679 --> 00:22:16,726 NO, NO. PLEASE LET ME GO. I WON'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT YOUR LITTLE MOVIE. 300 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,076 LITTLE ?[ Whip Cracks ] 301 00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:25,561 WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN LITTLE. I MEANT, LIKE, LOW BUDGET, LIKE CULT. 302 00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:28,695 GOOD MORNING, MISS WHITLOCK. KNOW YOUR LINES ? 303 00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:30,914 PLEASE, MR. DEMENTO-- IS THAT CORRECT ? 304 00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:33,221 DEMENTED ! 305 00:22:33,264 --> 00:22:36,398 YOU HAVE THE WRONG STAR FOR THIS MOVIE. 306 00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:40,359 NONSENSE, MISS WHITLOCK. I WROTE THE PART JUST FOR YOU. 307 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:43,405 [ Helicopter Approaching ]AND THE WHOLE WORLD IS WATCHING. 308 00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:46,190 NOT EVEN YOUR AGENT CAN HELP YOU NOW. 309 00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:49,280 FINISH HER HAIR ! 310 00:22:49,324 --> 00:22:52,588 OW ! OW, OW ! IT'S BURNING MY SCALP ! 311 00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,982 OW ! SHIT !SHUT UP ! 312 00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:59,247 I HATE THESE FUCKING THINGS. DAMN SECURITY DEVICES ! 313 00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:02,032 FIDGET, FIDGET, MY LITTLE GENIUS FIDGET. 314 00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:05,427 - OW ! - PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. 315 00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:07,777 WHAT ? 316 00:23:07,821 --> 00:23:10,214 [ Fidget Over Speaker ] I SAID TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES. 317 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:14,218 YOU HEARD ME. DON'T BE A PRUDE. 318 00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:17,091 COME ON, STRIP !OH, SHIT. 319 00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:20,268 YEAH, YEAH, TAKE 'EM OFF. 320 00:23:20,311 --> 00:23:24,446 [ All Moaning ] 321 00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,231 UM... 322 00:23:27,275 --> 00:23:30,757 DO I HAVE A DRESSING ROOM OR A TRAILER ? 323 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,369 MISS WHITLOCK, WE'RE ON A SCHEDULE. 324 00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:38,286 [ Moaning Continues ] 325 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:45,467 THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED ANY FORM OF SEXUAL RELEASE. 326 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:49,471 SCREEN ACTORS GUILD IS GONNA HEAR ABOUT THIS, AND I MEAN IT. GOD ! 327 00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:52,474 [ Moaning, Muttering ] 328 00:23:52,518 --> 00:23:55,782 LOOK AT THAT ASS ! GODDAMN ! 329 00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:58,001 NICE VESSEL. 330 00:24:00,134 --> 00:24:03,354 - I SEE LONDON. - I SEE FRANCE. 331 00:24:03,398 --> 00:24:05,531 [ Lewis ] I SEE HONEY'S UNDERPANTS. 332 00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:08,272 [ Sighs ] 333 00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:13,190 OH, MY GOD ! I LOOK TERRIBLE ! 334 00:24:17,238 --> 00:24:20,894 ALL RIGHT ! ALL RIGHT ! YOU'RE WANTED ON SET. 335 00:24:20,937 --> 00:24:22,896 [ Screams ] 336 00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:26,987 THIS IS SPROCKET HOUSE, MISS WHITLOCK. 337 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:29,772 THINK OF IT AS YOUR STUDIO. 338 00:24:29,816 --> 00:24:32,122 MORNING. 339 00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:34,734 CAN'T YOU EVEN SAY GOOD MORNING TO LEWIS ? 340 00:24:34,777 --> 00:24:37,476 HE'S WORKED VERY HARD ON THIS SET WITH A BUDGET OF ZERO. 341 00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:40,348 MORNING.ALL THESE MATERIALS... 342 00:24:40,391 --> 00:24:43,960 WERE STOLEN FROM CITY-OWNED CONSTRUCTION SITES, JUST FOR YOU. 343 00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:46,963 SEE, WE GONNA HAVE US A HIT, MISS WHITLOCK. 344 00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:49,879 NOW, OUR PICTURE IS CALLED RAVING BEAUTY. 345 00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:52,578 YOU PLAY THE INSANE OWNER OF A FAILED ART THEATER... 346 00:24:52,621 --> 00:24:54,841 WHO, ALONG WITH HER FILM FANATIC BOYFRIEND LYLE-- 347 00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:56,799 LYLE, COME ON OVER. 348 00:24:56,843 --> 00:25:00,063 AND HER VIOLENCE-PRONE DAUGHTER CHERISH-- 349 00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:02,065 DAUGHTER ? 350 00:25:02,109 --> 00:25:05,199 TOGETHER, THE THREE OF YOU VOW... 351 00:25:05,242 --> 00:25:08,811 TO START A REVOLUTION TO DESTROY MAINSTREAM CINEMA. 352 00:25:09,943 --> 00:25:12,467 I CAN'T BE IN THIS MOVIE. 353 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:15,644 YOU DARE TO TELL CECIL B. DEMENTED YOU REFUSE ? 354 00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:19,343 - I AM TOO YOUNG TO PLAY HER MOTHER. - [ Smirks ] 355 00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:21,520 I KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE. 356 00:25:23,086 --> 00:25:25,393 ALL RIGHT, WELL, I JUST DON'T FEEL IT. 357 00:25:25,436 --> 00:25:28,527 I JUST AM NOT MOTIVATED.HOW'S THIS FOR MOTIVATION, HUH ? 358 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,746 [ Zapping ]OW ! 359 00:25:30,790 --> 00:25:33,749 THERE ARE NO CREATIVE DIFFERENCES ON A CECIL B. DEMENTED SET. 360 00:25:33,793 --> 00:25:36,056 YOU GOT THAT ? 361 00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:39,363 ONE DAY YOU'LL THANK ME FOR SAVING YOU FROM YOUR BAD CAREER. PLACES ! 362 00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:42,366 ALL RIGHT, WALK-THROUGH REHEARSAL. 363 00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:44,978 COME ON, YOU HEARD HIM. THIS AIN'T HOLLYWOOD. 364 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,502 HEY, HONEY, YOU WANT SOME ECSTASY ? 365 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:50,244 NO. 366 00:25:50,287 --> 00:25:55,075 [ Clears Throat ] AND... ACTION. 367 00:25:56,642 --> 00:25:59,253 HEY, CHERISH, IT'S 8:00. 368 00:25:59,296 --> 00:26:01,560 IS IT TIME TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE SCREEN OR WHAT ? 369 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:04,737 WE DIDN'T SELL ONE TICKET, LYLE. NOBODY CAME. 370 00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:08,218 WHAT ? PASOLINI'S PLAYING, AND WE HAVE AN EMPTY THEATER ? 371 00:26:12,309 --> 00:26:15,704 [ Reading In Monotone ] "IT'S THAT FUCKING NEW MULTIPLEX THAT OPENED IN THE MALL." 372 00:26:15,748 --> 00:26:18,664 I HEARD THEY WERE SOLD OUT LAST NIGHT, MOM. 373 00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:22,102 NO, NOT FOR THE FLINTSTONES SEQUEL ! 374 00:26:22,145 --> 00:26:25,235 "SOMEBODY'S GOT TO PAY FOR THIS INSULT." 375 00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:28,587 OH, GOD ! [ Groaning ] 376 00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:31,590 [ Thudding Continues ] 377 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:36,856 "FROM THE EMPTY SEATS OF EVERY GOOD MOVIE THEATER IN AMERICA... 378 00:26:36,899 --> 00:26:39,293 [ Stapler Clicking ] 379 00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:42,296 [ Gagging ] "WE WILL RISE UP TO TAKE BACK THE SCREEN. 380 00:26:42,339 --> 00:26:47,301 - [ Gagging Continues ] - [ Groaning ] 381 00:26:47,344 --> 00:26:51,566 - DEATH TO THOSE WHO SUPPORT MAINSTREAM CINEMA." - [ Yelps ] 382 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:55,439 DO YOU SEE THE PAIN YOUR PERFORMANCE IS CAUSING ME, HUH ! 383 00:26:55,483 --> 00:26:58,834 OKAY, YES, I DO. FINE, I'LL DO IT. 384 00:26:58,878 --> 00:27:01,228 OKAY ? LET'S JUST SHOOT IT. FINE ! 385 00:27:01,271 --> 00:27:05,188 ALL RIGHT, PLACES ! PAM ! 386 00:27:05,232 --> 00:27:09,410 PICTURE'S UP ! CAMERA ROLLING ! 387 00:27:09,453 --> 00:27:11,630 SPEED.MARK IT ! 388 00:27:11,673 --> 00:27:13,849 [ Cecil ] AND... ACTION ! 389 00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:17,113 HEY, CHERISH, IT'S 8:00. 390 00:27:17,157 --> 00:27:19,420 IS IT TIME TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE SCREEN OR WHAT ? 391 00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:22,379 WE DIDN'T SELL ONE TICKET, LYLE. NOBODY CAME. 392 00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:25,992 [ Lyle ] WHAT ? PASOLINI'S PLAYING, AND WE HAVE AN EMPTY THEATER ? 393 00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:30,605 IT'S THAT FUCKING NEW MULTIPLEX THAT OPENED IN THE MALL, ISN'T IT ? 394 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,477 [ Cherish ] I HEARD THEY WERE SOLD OUT LAST NIGHT, MOM. 395 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:35,784 NO, NOT FOR THE FLINTSTONES SEQUEL. 396 00:27:35,828 --> 00:27:39,048 SOMEBODY'S GOTTA PAY FOR THIS INSULT. 397 00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:42,486 FROM THE EMPTY SEATS OF EVERY GOOD MOVIE THEATER IN AMERICA... 398 00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:45,925 WE WILL RISE UP TO TAKE BACK THE SCREEN. 399 00:27:45,968 --> 00:27:49,363 DEATH TO THOSE WHO SUPPORT MAINSTREAM CINEMA ! 400 00:27:49,406 --> 00:27:51,757 CUT ! AND PRINT IT ! 401 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,889 [ Cheering ] 402 00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,587 THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, MISS WHITLOCK. 403 00:27:56,631 --> 00:27:59,765 - [ Cheering Continues ] - YEAH ! YEAH ! 404 00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:03,246 BUT, YOU KNOW, TO BE FRANK, CECIL-- 405 00:28:03,290 --> 00:28:07,120 I MEAN, IN MY REAL FILM LIFE, I WOULD NEVER MAKE THIS MOVIE. 406 00:28:07,163 --> 00:28:09,905 I MEAN, THE MESSAGE IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. 407 00:28:09,949 --> 00:28:12,865 ASK THEATER OWNERS IN ANY COUNTRY, 408 00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:16,346 AND THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT HOLLYWOOD MAKES THE BEST FILMS IN THE WORLD, 409 00:28:16,390 --> 00:28:18,479 AND I AM PROUD TO BE A PART OF THAT SYSTEM. 410 00:28:18,522 --> 00:28:20,437 LET'S MOVE ON. 411 00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:24,224 WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. NO COVERAGE ? 412 00:28:26,182 --> 00:28:28,445 THE FIRST TAKE IS THE ONLY REAL TRUTH. 413 00:28:28,489 --> 00:28:31,666 BUT YOU CAN'T CUT A FILM WITH JUST A MASTER. 414 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:35,975 THERE ARE NO RULES IN OUTLAW CINEMA, MISS WHITLOCK. ONLY EDGES. 415 00:28:36,018 --> 00:28:39,587 WE BELIEVE TECHNIQUE TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN FAILED STYLE. 416 00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:42,242 YOU SEE, I'VE HAD A VISION. 417 00:28:45,462 --> 00:28:48,074 AND THAT VISION IS CALLED ULTIMATE REALITY ! 418 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:52,992 THE REST OF OUR FILM IS SHOT IN REAL LIFE WITH REAL PEOPLE... 419 00:28:53,035 --> 00:28:55,559 AND, YES, WITH REAL TERROR. 420 00:29:07,006 --> 00:29:09,573 I SEE A FUCKING ROOT ALREADY. 421 00:29:09,617 --> 00:29:12,838 OW ! CECIL, I'M A MUCH BETTER ACTRESS IN A STUDIO. 422 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:15,971 THAT'S NOT WHATTIME MAGAZINE HAS TO SAY. 423 00:29:16,015 --> 00:29:18,582 "MISS WHITLOCK SEEMS A LITTLE ILL AT EASE AND PAST HER PRIME... 424 00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:21,237 "TO CARRY A PICTURE BY HERSELF. 425 00:29:21,281 --> 00:29:24,763 ESPECIALLY ONE AS SAPPY AND OVERPRODUCED AS SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS." 426 00:29:24,806 --> 00:29:28,897 - TIMEMAGAZINE SAID THAT ? - YOUR MOVIE'S GONNA LOSE $30 MILLION. 427 00:29:28,941 --> 00:29:32,292 CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION ? 428 00:29:32,335 --> 00:29:34,947 DID YOU EVER FUCK MEL GIBSON ? 429 00:29:36,426 --> 00:29:38,907 CECIL, GIVE YOURSELF UP. IT'S NOT TOO LATE. 430 00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:42,650 OUR MOVIE GOES INTO PROFIT THE DAY WE SELL THE FIRST TICKET. 431 00:29:42,693 --> 00:29:45,087 HOW BIG IS HIS DICK, ANYWAY ? 432 00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,568 YOU KNOW WHAT ? COME WITH ME TO HOLLYWOOD, 433 00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:51,224 AND I WILL GET YOU A JOB AS A PRODUCTION ASSISTANT ON A REAL HOLLYWOOD MOVIE. 434 00:29:51,267 --> 00:29:54,618 TELL ME ABOUT MEL GIBSON'S DICK AND BALLS ! 435 00:29:54,662 --> 00:29:57,404 ♪♪ [ Hard Rock ] 436 00:30:17,337 --> 00:30:21,732 DR. PATCH, DR. PATCH, WE NEED IT ! HELP US ! 437 00:30:21,776 --> 00:30:24,344 DR. PATCH ![ All Crying ] 438 00:30:24,387 --> 00:30:27,173 DR. PATCH, DR. PATCH, PLEASE ! 439 00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:30,829 OKAY, NOW REMEMBER, THERE ARE NO BAD TAKES IN A CECIL B. DEMENTED PICTURE. 440 00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:35,050 JUST KEEP THE SCENE GOING.HEY, HONEY, I'VE NEVER TAKEN THIS MUCH ACID BEFORE. 441 00:30:35,094 --> 00:30:37,487 SO IF I FORGET MY LINES, CUE ME. 442 00:30:37,531 --> 00:30:41,883 DO MY TITS LOOK OKAY ? THEY'RE MORE NATURAL THAN YOURS, YOU KNOW. 443 00:30:41,927 --> 00:30:44,755 CECIL, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS SCENE. 444 00:30:44,799 --> 00:30:47,933 YOUR HOLLYWOOD SYSTEM STOLE OUR SEX AND CO-OPTED OUR VIOLENCE, 445 00:30:47,976 --> 00:30:50,849 SO THERE'S NOTHING LEFT FOR OUR KINDS OF MOVIES, EXCEPT THIS. 446 00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:54,156 - PICTURE'S UP ! - [ All Chattering ] 447 00:30:56,419 --> 00:30:58,552 GO ! GO ! 448 00:30:58,595 --> 00:31:02,904 PAM, RIGHT HERE ! ROLL CAMERA ! 449 00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:04,906 - CAMERA ROLLING. - SPEED ! 450 00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:07,300 - MARK IT ! - ACTION ! 451 00:31:07,343 --> 00:31:10,912 [ Together ] SABOTAGE THE CINEMA ! TAKE BACK THE SCREEN ! 452 00:31:10,956 --> 00:31:14,742 VANDALIZE THE MOVIES ! BRING BACK THE DREAM ! 453 00:31:14,785 --> 00:31:18,528 [ Sighs ] THIS IS SO STUPID. 454 00:31:18,572 --> 00:31:21,880 - SAY THE LINES THE WAY THEY'RE WRITTEN ! - OKAY. 455 00:31:21,923 --> 00:31:23,925 YOU READ THE FUCKING SCRIPT ! 456 00:31:23,969 --> 00:31:26,145 [ Muttering ]ALL RIGHT, RODNEY ! 457 00:31:26,188 --> 00:31:28,277 ENOUGH, RODNEY ! SHE LOOKS GREAT ! 458 00:31:28,321 --> 00:31:32,281 THANK YOU.WE GOTTA GO ! I SAID, ACTION ! 459 00:31:32,325 --> 00:31:34,240 HOW DARE YOU PLAY PATCH ADAMS! 460 00:31:34,283 --> 00:31:36,416 OH, MY GOD ! IT'S HONEY WHITLOCK ! 461 00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:39,506 PATCH ADAMSDOES NOT DESERVE A DIRECTOR'S CUT. 462 00:31:39,549 --> 00:31:41,551 THE FIRST ONE WAS LONG ENOUGH ! 463 00:31:41,595 --> 00:31:44,511 HEY, YOU ! YOU GOT A PROBLEM ? 464 00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:46,905 FEEL THE PAIN OF UNDERGROUND FILM ![ Grunts ] 465 00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:49,124 THE KICK OF OUTLAW CINEMA ![ Groaning ] 466 00:31:49,168 --> 00:31:52,301 WOW, HONEY, I'M PEAKING. 467 00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:56,610 I'M CECIL B. DEMENTED, AND YOU'RE IN MY MOVIE. 468 00:31:56,653 --> 00:31:59,526 IF YOU LOOK IN THE CAMERA AND RUIN A TAKE, YOU'RE DEAD. 469 00:31:59,569 --> 00:32:02,268 DO YOU KNOW QUENTIN TARANTINO ? I LOVE HIS MOVIES ! 470 00:32:02,311 --> 00:32:04,357 - NO AD-LIBBING ! - [ Screaming ] 471 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,403 THREE DOLLARS FOR A FUCKING CANDY BAR ! 472 00:32:07,447 --> 00:32:09,623 YOU CALL THAT A MEDIUM ! 473 00:32:09,666 --> 00:32:12,843 THIS IS STILL POPPED IN COCONUT OIL, ISN'T IT ? 474 00:32:12,887 --> 00:32:15,020 [ Gunshot, Screaming ] 475 00:32:15,063 --> 00:32:16,891 HEY, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE HERE ? 476 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,720 NOBODY NEEDS THIS GARBAGE. 477 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:25,073 WE ARE THE ULTIMATE BAD REVIEW. 478 00:32:25,117 --> 00:32:29,643 PLEASE, PLEASE. I-I DIDN'T MAKE THIS MOVIE. I'M JUST THE MANAGER. 479 00:32:29,686 --> 00:32:32,559 - [ Grunts ] - LET'S GO ! 480 00:32:32,602 --> 00:32:35,344 NO, IT'S MINE !GIVE IT TO ME, YOU BASTARD ! 481 00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:39,131 DR. PATCH, THESE BRATS WON'T GIVE ME THE-- 482 00:32:39,174 --> 00:32:42,047 DR. PATCH, DR. PATCH, PLEASE ! 483 00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:45,050 [ Audience Screaming ]PLACES EVERYBODY ! LYLE, CHERISH, GET IN HERE ! 484 00:32:45,093 --> 00:32:48,314 SAY THE LINES ! AND ACTION ! 485 00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:51,186 YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE THIS MOVIE. 486 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,362 YOU'RE A VICTIM OF ADVERTISING ! 487 00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:55,886 YOU'VE BEEN MANIPULATED BY PRESS AGENTS ! 488 00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:59,412 - PATCH ADAMS, YOU'RE DEAD. - [ Canisters Exploding ] 489 00:32:59,455 --> 00:33:01,805 [ Screaming Continues ] 490 00:33:01,849 --> 00:33:04,460 [ Coughing, Gagging ] 491 00:33:04,504 --> 00:33:07,724 EVERYBODY WRAP IT UP AND RUN ! 492 00:33:07,768 --> 00:33:10,771 [ Hooting, Shouting ] 493 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:23,958 [ Lewis Rapping ] ♪ HEY, YO, MAN, LISTEN UP 494 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,352 ♪ WHEN WE SAY ACTION WE MEAN ACTION, YO ♪ 495 00:33:26,395 --> 00:33:28,876 ♪ AIN'T NOBODY PUTTIN' US IN TURNAROUND ♪ 496 00:33:28,919 --> 00:33:31,531 ♪ YOU GOT THAT, MOTHERFUCKER WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ 497 00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:33,750 ♪ NO BUDGET ♪ NO CRAFT SERVICE, MAN 498 00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:36,797 ♪ NO BUDGET ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES 499 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,191 ♪ NO BUDGET ♪ NO FUCKING CALL SHEETS, YO 500 00:33:39,234 --> 00:33:41,758 ♪ NO BUDGET ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPING SHIT 501 00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:45,066 COME ON, CECIL, I WANT A LITTLE ACTION OF MY OWN. 502 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:47,112 I'M TRYING TO WRITE, CHERISH. 503 00:33:47,155 --> 00:33:49,679 ♪ WE GONNA TURN HOLLYWOOD OUT ♪♪ NO BUDGET 504 00:33:49,723 --> 00:33:52,682 ♪ WE DON'T NEED THE HELP OF SO-CALLED CRITICS ♪ 505 00:33:52,726 --> 00:33:55,076 ♪ OUTLAW CINEMA, BROTHER WITH THE HOTTEST GUNSLINGERS ♪YEAH ! 506 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,383 ♪ WHEN WE SAY ACTION CAMERAS START TO SPIN ♪ 507 00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:59,341 ♪ RIP ALL YOUR STUDIO'S FUCKING ASSHOLE CLEAN ♪ 508 00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:02,301 ♪ IF I DIRECT, AIN'T GONNA BE NO MOTHERFUCKIN' SCENES ♪ 509 00:34:02,344 --> 00:34:04,564 ♪ WE'LL DO THE EDITS SEE WHAT NO BUDGET MEANS ♪ 510 00:34:04,607 --> 00:34:07,045 ♪ IT'S EITHER OUR WAY OR NO WAY FUCK KEEPING IT CLEAN ♪ 511 00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:09,612 OHHH ! ♪ NO BUDGET 512 00:34:09,656 --> 00:34:11,701 ♪ NO CRAFT SERVICE, MAN ♪ NO BUDGET 513 00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:13,964 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 514 00:34:14,008 --> 00:34:16,402 ♪ NO FUCKING CALL SHEETS, YO ♪ NO BUDGET 515 00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:18,578 ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPING SHIT ♪ NO BUDGET 516 00:34:18,621 --> 00:34:20,754 ♪ YEAH, WE GOT A START DATE FOR REAL ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 517 00:34:20,797 --> 00:34:23,061 ♪ YO, THIS PICTURE'S A GO ♪ NO BUDGET 518 00:34:23,104 --> 00:34:26,325 ♪ WE GONNA TURN HOLLYWOOD OUT ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 519 00:34:26,368 --> 00:34:29,328 ♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ][ Sighing ] IT'S GOAT URINE. 520 00:34:29,371 --> 00:34:32,200 YOU WANT SOME ?NO. 521 00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:36,509 IT'S A SATAN THING. [ Panting ] 522 00:34:36,552 --> 00:34:39,425 OH, GOD, YOU'RE SO GOOD IN OUR MOVIE. 523 00:34:39,468 --> 00:34:41,601 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 524 00:34:41,644 --> 00:34:43,603 ♪ NO CRAFT SERVICE, MAN ♪ NO BUDGET 525 00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,605 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 526 00:34:45,648 --> 00:34:47,607 ♪ NO FUCKING CALL SHEETS, YO ♪ NO BUDGET 527 00:34:47,650 --> 00:34:50,523 CRAFT SERVICE ? ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPING SHIT 528 00:34:50,566 --> 00:34:54,135 NO, THANK YOU, FIDGET. I NEVER DRINK WHEN I'M WORKING. ♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ] 529 00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:56,746 THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU. 530 00:34:56,790 --> 00:35:01,534 HEY, FIDGET, DO YOUR PARENTS KNOW WHERE YOU ARE TONIGHT ? 531 00:35:01,577 --> 00:35:05,190 THEY'RE PROBABLY MAD. 532 00:35:05,233 --> 00:35:08,280 WHY DON'T YOU GIVE THEM A CALL ? 533 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:15,765 CECIL SAYS OUR PARENTS ARE THE ENEMIES OF FILM. 534 00:35:15,809 --> 00:35:19,856 THAT'S SUCH NONSENSE. GO AHEAD, CALL 'EM UP. 535 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,076 I BET THEY REALLY MISS YOU. 536 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,296 HEY, HONEY, YOU WANT SOME CRACK ? 537 00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:27,342 I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT, LYLE. 538 00:35:27,386 --> 00:35:31,564 HOW CAN YOU BE A DRUG ADDICT IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM ? IT'S SO RETRO. 539 00:35:31,607 --> 00:35:36,177 BEFORE I WAS A DRUG ADDICT, I HAD SO MANY DIFFERENT PROBLEMS. 540 00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:40,964 NOW I JUST HAVE ONE. DRUGS GAVE MY LIFE REAL FOCUS. 541 00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:43,924 ♪ KEEP THOSE CAMERAS ROLLING MOTHERFUCKERS START TO SPIN ♪ 542 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:46,361 ♪ IF I DIRECT, THERE AIN'T GONNA BE NO MOTHERFUCKIN' SCENES ♪ 543 00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:49,277 ♪ WE'LL DO THE EDITS SEE WHAT NO BUDGET MEANS ♪ 544 00:35:49,321 --> 00:35:52,280 ♪♪ [ Continues, Indistinct ]HOW CAN YOU SEE ME ON FILM AND NOT WANT TO FUCK ME ? 545 00:35:52,324 --> 00:35:55,370 [ Groans ] I DO WANT TO FUCK YOU, CHERISH, BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T. 546 00:35:55,414 --> 00:35:58,808 WHY NOT ? ALL MY DIRECTORS FUCK ME. 547 00:35:58,852 --> 00:36:02,682 I'M NOT ALL YOUR DIRECTORS ! I'M CECIL B. DEMENTED, 548 00:36:02,725 --> 00:36:04,423 THE ULTIMATE AUTEUR ! 549 00:36:06,990 --> 00:36:10,168 [ Wings Flapping ] 550 00:36:10,211 --> 00:36:12,518 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 551 00:36:12,561 --> 00:36:17,914 [ Microphone Feedback ]SOLDIERS OF CINEMA, SAVE YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY FOR THE SCREEN. 552 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:23,137 OUR FOOTAGE IS STRONGER THAN OTTO PREMINGER'S ! 553 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:27,141 CREEPIER AND DARKER THAN DAVID LYNCH'S ! 554 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:31,145 - MORE EXPLOITIVE THAN HERSCHEL GORDON LEWIS. - [ Moaning, Grunting ] 555 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:33,495 AND MORE VIOLENT THAN SAM FULLER. 556 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:39,066 WE WILL RISE ABOVE OUR RAGING HORMONES... 557 00:36:39,109 --> 00:36:41,808 TO A NEW LEVEL OF CINEMA UNREST. 558 00:36:41,851 --> 00:36:45,638 DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO AVOID SEXUAL RELEASE ! 559 00:36:45,681 --> 00:36:49,250 GET AS DRUNK AS SAM PECKINPAH ! 560 00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:52,732 [ Moaning ] AS HIGH AS RAINER WERNER FASSBINDER ! 561 00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:55,604 BUT STAY CELIBATE FOR CELLULOID ! YEAH ! 562 00:36:55,648 --> 00:36:58,390 [ Phone Ringing ] SEX IS FOR OUR MOVIES, NOT REAL LIFE. 563 00:36:58,433 --> 00:37:01,349 HELLO ?HI, MOM. IT'S ME-- FIDGET. 564 00:37:01,393 --> 00:37:04,831 OH, GOD, FIDGET. WHERE ARE YOU ? ARE YOU OKAY ? 565 00:37:04,874 --> 00:37:07,399 I'M FINE. THE MOVIE'S GOING GREAT, MOM. 566 00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:10,924 GOING GREAT ? FIDGET, YOU'RE WANTED FOR MURDER. 567 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:14,797 FEEL THE BLACK HUMOR OF ALMODOVAR ! 568 00:37:14,841 --> 00:37:19,280 - [ Both Moaning ] - THE SATANIC BRILLIANCE OF KENNETH ANGER ! 569 00:37:19,324 --> 00:37:24,067 - THE RACIAL TENSION OF SPIKE LEE ! - MM, MM, MM, MM ! 570 00:37:24,111 --> 00:37:27,114 AND THE UNASHAMED EXHIBITIONISM OF WILLIAM CASTLE ! 571 00:37:27,157 --> 00:37:29,943 HELLO ? FIDGET, TALK TO ME. 572 00:37:29,986 --> 00:37:34,513 HELLO ? WE WILL COME AND GET YOU. JUST TELL US WHERE YOU ARE. 573 00:37:34,556 --> 00:37:37,472 HELLO ? HELLO ? 574 00:37:37,516 --> 00:37:40,736 BLUE BALLS FOR CELLULOID ! 575 00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:43,826 CECIL, IF WE CAN'T HAVE SEX, CAN WE AT LEAST MAKE SOME MONEY ? 576 00:37:43,870 --> 00:37:47,569 YEAH. LEWIS THINKS I COULD HAVE A HIT RECORD. 577 00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:52,748 NO, NO, NO, SPROCKET HOLES ! I'M A PROPHET AGAINST PROFIT ! 578 00:37:52,792 --> 00:37:57,536 AND YOU SHOULD REFUSE TO SULLY YOUR ARTISTIC VISION WITH FINANCIAL SUCCESS ! 579 00:37:57,579 --> 00:38:02,323 SPROCKET HOLES, BE STRONG AND JOIN ME IN PRAYER ! 580 00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:07,067 OH, YEAH.OH. 581 00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:12,115 OH, ANDY WARHOL, WE WORSHIP YOU FROM THE NEW CINEMA UNDERGROUND. 582 00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:16,337 [ Together ] OH, ANDY WARHOL, WE WORSHIP YOU FROM THE NEW CINEMA UNDERGROUND. 583 00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:20,341 FIDGET, GIVE ME THAT DRINK. HELP US TO USE OUR SEXUAL FRUSTRATION AS YOU DID... 584 00:38:20,385 --> 00:38:23,213 THANK YOUFOR THE FUTURE OF OUTLAW FILM ! 585 00:38:23,257 --> 00:38:27,522 - SAY IT, SPROCKET HOLES ! - CELIBATE FOR CELLULOID ! 586 00:38:27,566 --> 00:38:31,613 - SAY IT AGAIN, LOUDER ! - CELIBATE FOR CELLULOID ! 587 00:38:31,657 --> 00:38:33,615 NIGHTY-NIGHT. 588 00:38:33,659 --> 00:38:36,357 [ Siren Wailing ] 589 00:38:45,801 --> 00:38:48,804 [ Both Moaning ] 590 00:38:55,420 --> 00:38:58,074 [ Wings Flapping ] 591 00:38:59,989 --> 00:39:02,862 [ Laughs ][ Blow Horn Blaring ] 592 00:39:02,905 --> 00:39:05,386 [ All Gasping ] 593 00:39:05,430 --> 00:39:08,302 HEY, KIDS, WAKE UP ! 594 00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,044 LET'S MAKE A MOTHERFUCKIN' MOVIE ! 595 00:39:11,087 --> 00:39:14,526 [ Blow Horn Continues ] HEY, GO, GO ! 596 00:39:23,491 --> 00:39:25,798 I SEE THAT FUCKING BROWN COLOR ALREADY !NO, NO, RODNEY ! 597 00:39:25,841 --> 00:39:29,584 THOSE ARE NOT ROOTS. THOSE ARE SCABS ON MY SCALP.GET UP ! 598 00:39:29,628 --> 00:39:32,413 AND THEY'RE RAW FROM THE DYE !JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES... 599 00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:36,069 AND THINK OF THE FILMS OF GEORGE CUKOR. 600 00:39:36,112 --> 00:39:39,028 RAVEN, YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REALLY PRETTY GIRL. 601 00:39:39,072 --> 00:39:41,466 YOU COULD ESCAPE FROM ALL THIS MADNESS. 602 00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,512 ESCAPE TO WHAT, HONEY ? 603 00:39:44,556 --> 00:39:49,082 I MEAN, MY FATHER IS ZO-ZO, THE THREE-HEADED GUARD DOG AT THE GATES OF HELL. 604 00:39:49,125 --> 00:39:51,389 OW. I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 605 00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:54,653 BUT ONE DAY I'M GONNA COMMIT REVOLUTIONARY SUICIDE FOR CELLULOID. 606 00:39:54,696 --> 00:39:58,265 NO, DON'T SAY THAT ! RODNEY, TELL HER. NO MOVIE IS WORTH DYING FOR. 607 00:39:58,308 --> 00:40:01,007 OW ! RODNEY, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HURT ME ? 608 00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:03,401 GAY MEN ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GENTLE. 609 00:40:03,444 --> 00:40:05,751 THAT'S JUST IT, HONEY. I'M NOT GAY.OW. 610 00:40:05,794 --> 00:40:08,231 I'M STRAIGHT, AND I FUCKING HATE IT ! 611 00:40:08,275 --> 00:40:12,758 PETIE LOVES ME, AND I CAN'T LOVE HIM BACK. I'VE TRIED. 612 00:40:12,801 --> 00:40:16,544 I KISS HIM, AND ALL I FEEL IS WHISKERS. 613 00:40:16,588 --> 00:40:20,287 I CAN'T TAKE THAT CERTAIN THICKNESS IN HIS PANTS. 614 00:40:20,330 --> 00:40:23,899 I'M ASHAMED OF MY HETEROSEXUALITY ! 615 00:40:23,943 --> 00:40:26,162 OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, RODNEY. 616 00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:29,470 THAT'S WHY SOME DAYS I GOTTA HURT PEOPLE ! 617 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:32,081 - NO ! NO ! - IT'S NOT HONEY'S FAULT. 618 00:40:32,125 --> 00:40:34,214 MAKE THEM PAY FOR ME LIKING PUSSY ! 619 00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:37,609 NOBODY CHOOSES TO BE HETEROSEXUAL. HONEY KNOWS THAT. 620 00:40:37,652 --> 00:40:40,089 I'M STRAIGHT, AND I HATE ! 621 00:40:40,133 --> 00:40:42,701 SO GET USED TO IT, HONEY WHITLOCK ![ Whimpering ] 622 00:40:42,744 --> 00:40:45,007 OW ! OW, IT'S BURNING ME ! 623 00:40:45,051 --> 00:40:50,012 OW ! OW ! OW ! OW ! OW ! YOU'RE HURTING ME ! 624 00:40:50,056 --> 00:40:53,059 GOOD MORNING, MISS WHITLOCK. 625 00:40:53,102 --> 00:40:55,931 CECIL, I WANT TO GO BACK TO HOLLYWOOD.WHATEVER FOR ? 626 00:40:55,975 --> 00:40:58,499 YOUR OLD CAREER IS OVER, 627 00:40:58,543 --> 00:41:01,154 BUT YOUR COMEBACK HAS JUST BEGUN. 628 00:41:01,197 --> 00:41:03,504 ROLL IT. 629 00:41:03,548 --> 00:41:06,551 WELL, SEE, I WAS IN THE AUDIENCE WHEN THEY ATTACKED. 630 00:41:06,594 --> 00:41:09,684 OH ! HONEY, MAN, HONEY WHITLOCK WAS AWESOME ! 631 00:41:09,728 --> 00:41:11,686 SHE WAS SO COOL. 632 00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:15,211 [ Girl ] I THINK HONEY WHITLOCK IS RIGHT. MOST FILMS SUCK, 633 00:41:15,255 --> 00:41:17,866 AND IT'S TIME SOMEBODY DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 634 00:41:17,910 --> 00:41:21,217 NOBODY FORCED HER TO BE IN THAT MOVIE, BUT SHE WAS DAMN GOOD. 635 00:41:21,261 --> 00:41:24,090 SCARIER THAN HELL, IF YOU ASK ME. 636 00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:27,746 SHE LOOKED DIFFERENT FROM HER OTHER FILMS TOO. I DON'T KNOW-- YOUNGER. 637 00:41:27,789 --> 00:41:30,270 [ Together ] MMM. 638 00:41:30,313 --> 00:41:33,229 NOW, THERE ARE STILL SOME PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR WORK. 639 00:41:33,273 --> 00:41:35,797 THIS ONE'S LIVE. 640 00:41:35,841 --> 00:41:40,541 CECIL B. DEMENTED, THE MARYLAND FILM COMMISSION REFUSES TO BE INTIMIDATED... 641 00:41:40,585 --> 00:41:43,588 BY YOUR PATHETIC GANG OF CINEMATIC MISFITS. 642 00:41:47,374 --> 00:41:50,116 THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE TODAY IN THE INNER HARBOR... 643 00:41:50,159 --> 00:41:53,206 TO CELEBRATE LOCATION SHOOTING IN MARYLAND... 644 00:41:53,249 --> 00:41:56,775 WITH MANY OF THE BRAVE PRODUCTION AND STUDIO HEADS FROM OUT OF STATE... 645 00:41:56,818 --> 00:42:00,996 WHO ALSO SAY NO TO CINEMA TERRORISM. 646 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:03,303 [ Applause ] 647 00:42:03,346 --> 00:42:05,871 I HAVE A VISION. 648 00:42:08,351 --> 00:42:11,572 AND THIS TIME, SOMEBODY MIGHT HAVE TO DIE. 649 00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:14,096 OHHH. 650 00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:16,316 OHHH. 651 00:42:33,115 --> 00:42:35,814 OW ! 652 00:42:45,345 --> 00:42:48,566 OKAY, IN THIS SCENE, YOU GUYS ARE THE AVENGING ANGELS OF UNDERGROUND CINEMA. 653 00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:50,959 WE'LL LET THOSE FAT CAT PRODUCERS KNOW. 654 00:42:51,003 --> 00:42:54,833 YEAH, THAT MARYLAND ISN'T SAFE FOR THEIR KIND OF MOVIES. 655 00:42:54,876 --> 00:42:57,487 CHERISH, THIS IS AMERICA. IT'S A FREE COUNTRY. 656 00:42:57,531 --> 00:43:00,795 PEOPLE CAN MAKE BAD MOVIES IF THEY SO DESIRE. 657 00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:05,234 - NOT ANYMORE, THEY DON'T. - YOU THINK 'CAUSE YOU'VE MADE REAL MOVIES, YOU'RE BETTER ? 658 00:43:05,278 --> 00:43:08,716 - OH, PLEASE. - DO YOU KNOW WHY I BECAME A PORNO STAR ? 659 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,023 [ All Groaning ] 660 00:43:11,066 --> 00:43:13,286 CHERISH HAS RECOVERED MEMORY. 661 00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:15,636 MM-HMM. WHEN I WAS TEN YEARS OLD, 662 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,857 MY ENTIRE FAMILY FUCKED ME UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE. 663 00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:22,164 - I'M SO SORRY. - YEAH, I BET YOU ARE. 664 00:43:22,208 --> 00:43:27,169 "JINGLE BALLS, JINGLE BALLS," MY STUPID BROTHER STARTED SINGING. 665 00:43:27,213 --> 00:43:29,650 - [ Laughing ] - YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY ? 666 00:43:29,694 --> 00:43:32,827 - NO, I DON'T. - THAT'S ALL BEHIND YOU NOW, CHERISH. 667 00:43:32,871 --> 00:43:35,874 - [ Truck Braking ] - WE'RE HERE, AND WE'RE MAKING MOVIES. 668 00:43:42,489 --> 00:43:44,186 THIS WAY. 669 00:43:46,188 --> 00:43:48,626 "FUCK HER," YELLED MY GRANDMOTHER. 670 00:43:48,669 --> 00:43:51,150 HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT IF IT HAPPENED TO YOU ?I WOULDN'T. 671 00:43:51,193 --> 00:43:53,369 IT'S OKAY, CHERISH. THIS WAY. 672 00:43:59,898 --> 00:44:02,074 HEY, HONEY.WHAT ? 673 00:44:02,117 --> 00:44:05,773 NERVOUS ? WANNA TRY SOME SPECIAL K ?I AM WORKING, LYLE ! 674 00:44:05,817 --> 00:44:09,559 "HUMAN PILE," SCREAMED MY GRANDFATHER AS THEY ALL JUMPED ON. 675 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:12,345 DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A HUMAN PILE IS ?I DO. 676 00:44:12,388 --> 00:44:14,564 I THINK I CAN FIGURE IT OUT. 677 00:44:14,608 --> 00:44:16,305 [ Cecil ] COME ON ! 678 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,703 [ Commissioner ] ASK ANYONE WHO HAS SHOT THEIR FILM IN MARYLAND. 679 00:44:22,747 --> 00:44:26,141 WE HAVE THE EXACT LOCATION THAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR NEXT PRODUCTION. 680 00:44:26,185 --> 00:44:28,622 FROM MOUNTAINS TO BEACHES. [ Guests Slurping ] 681 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:31,712 FROM SMALL TOWNS TO URBAN SETTINGS. 682 00:44:31,756 --> 00:44:35,716 MY FATHER SAT ON MY FACE AS HE OPENED HIS CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. 683 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,981 OH, REALLY ? ARE YOU SURE ANY OF THIS REALLY HAPPENED ? 684 00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:43,898 YES, IT REALLY HAPPENED ! "OH, SANTA, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME," I SCREAMED. 685 00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:46,988 BUT SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME !I BELIEVE YOU. 686 00:44:47,032 --> 00:44:49,991 SHUT UP, CHERISH ! I TOLD YOU, THAT'S ALL OVER WITH. 687 00:44:50,035 --> 00:44:53,038 SAVE YOUR RAGE AND USE IT IN THE CINEMA !YES, CECIL. 688 00:44:53,081 --> 00:44:55,388 [ Grunts ] 689 00:44:56,955 --> 00:45:00,610 [ Muttering ]GO ! GO ! 690 00:45:00,654 --> 00:45:06,138 THE MARYLAND FILM COMMISSION PLEDGES TO WORK WITH STATE AND FEDERAL AGENCIES... 691 00:45:06,181 --> 00:45:08,488 TO MAKE YOUR SHOOT HERE IN MARYLAND... 692 00:45:08,531 --> 00:45:10,533 AS INEXPENSIVE AND TROUBLE FREE AS POSSIBLE. 693 00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:14,537 - HEY, HEY ! - [ Applause ] 694 00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:18,846 THAT'S WHY WE CALL BALTIMORE THE HOLLYWOOD OF THE EAST. 695 00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:21,762 ♪♪ [ Fanfare ] 696 00:45:26,462 --> 00:45:30,249 [ Slurping ] 697 00:45:30,292 --> 00:45:32,642 - SEE PAM THERE ? - YEAH. 698 00:45:32,686 --> 00:45:35,341 THAT'S YOUR MARK. 699 00:45:35,384 --> 00:45:38,213 WHEN YOU HEAR "ACTION," I WANT YOU TO JUMP OFF THE ROOF, 700 00:45:38,257 --> 00:45:40,694 LANDING IN FRONT OF PAM'S CAMERA. 701 00:45:49,572 --> 00:45:53,620 SURELY YOU REALIZE I COULD BE SERIOUSLY INJURED. 702 00:45:53,663 --> 00:45:56,971 - SUFFER FOR CELLULOID ! - THERE SHOULD AT LEAST BE AN AIRBAG... 703 00:45:57,015 --> 00:46:00,192 OR SOME KIND OF SAFETY PRECAUTION. 704 00:46:00,235 --> 00:46:02,803 JUST CALL ME IRRESPONSIBLE. [ Sniffing ]OUTLAW CINEMA HAS NO LIMITS. 705 00:46:02,847 --> 00:46:04,805 [ Snaps Fingers ] 706 00:46:04,849 --> 00:46:07,895 PROVE YOURSELF, HONEY, 707 00:46:07,939 --> 00:46:10,506 AND MAYBE YOU'LL LIVE TO READ YOUR REVIEWS. 708 00:46:10,550 --> 00:46:13,379 ALL RIGHT, CECIL. 709 00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:16,164 I'M A PROFESSIONAL. ROLL THE CAMERA. 710 00:46:16,208 --> 00:46:18,166 PLACES, YOU FOOLS ! 711 00:46:21,343 --> 00:46:24,477 NOW, DON'T WORRY. THEY'RE JUST PROPS. 712 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,828 I WANT YOU TO THROW THE GRENADE AFTER YOUR FIRST LINE AT THE FILM COMMISSIONER. 713 00:46:27,872 --> 00:46:30,048 NOBODY WILL GET HURT. 714 00:46:32,877 --> 00:46:36,141 THERE ARE BULLETS IN HERE. 715 00:46:36,184 --> 00:46:38,752 THEY'RE BLANKS. TRUST ME, HONEY. 716 00:46:40,058 --> 00:46:42,800 LOCK IT UP. 717 00:46:55,377 --> 00:46:59,164 HMM... WHOO ! 718 00:46:59,207 --> 00:47:01,514 OKAY.OKAY. 719 00:47:07,085 --> 00:47:08,956 SPEED !CAMERA ROLLING ! 720 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,438 [ Lyle On Radio ] MARK IT ! 721 00:47:12,481 --> 00:47:14,179 ACTION. 722 00:47:17,138 --> 00:47:20,750 [ Screaming ] 723 00:47:20,794 --> 00:47:24,145 - OH, MY GOD ! - [ Crowd Chattering ] 724 00:47:24,189 --> 00:47:27,453 [ Chattering Continues ] 725 00:47:27,496 --> 00:47:31,196 OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU ASSHOLES INSULTED OUR FILM ? 726 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,459 - WAS IT YOU ? - NO. PLEASE. 727 00:47:33,502 --> 00:47:35,374 I-I WAS ONLY FOLLOWING STUDIO ORDERS. 728 00:47:37,158 --> 00:47:40,988 [ Crowd Screaming ] 729 00:47:41,032 --> 00:47:43,164 [ Chattering Continues ] 730 00:47:43,208 --> 00:47:46,211 ALL EXTRAS, KEEP EATING THE OYSTERS, 731 00:47:46,254 --> 00:47:49,388 OR YOU WILL BE SHOT AND KILLED ! 732 00:47:49,431 --> 00:47:53,261 PAM, SHOOT THOSE OYSTERS ! HEY, YOU ![ Slurping ] 733 00:47:53,305 --> 00:47:55,220 KEEP EATING ![ Gagging ] 734 00:47:55,263 --> 00:47:58,136 KEEP EATING, YOU FUCKERS ! 735 00:47:58,179 --> 00:48:01,704 DIDN'T YOU PRODUCE THAT BAD HOLLYWOOD REMAKE OF THAT BEAUTIFUL FOREIGN FILM ? 736 00:48:01,748 --> 00:48:04,620 I HAD TO. YOU KNOW AMERICAN AUDIENCES WON'T WATCH SUBTITLES. 737 00:48:08,146 --> 00:48:11,366 DIDN'T YOU JUST GREEN LIGHT ANOTHER MOVIE BASED ON A VIDEO GAME ? 738 00:48:11,410 --> 00:48:14,152 IT WASN'T MY IDEA ! I'M JUST THE VICE PRESIDENT OF CREATIVE AFFAIRS ! 739 00:48:15,675 --> 00:48:19,418 NO, PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME ! I DON'T EVEN GO TO THE MOVIES ! 740 00:48:23,988 --> 00:48:26,512 RODNEY ! 741 00:48:26,555 --> 00:48:28,514 [ Screaming Continues ] 742 00:48:35,347 --> 00:48:38,654 HELP ! I'M HONEY WHITLOCK ! 743 00:48:38,698 --> 00:48:41,396 - [ Screams ] - NOBODY SAID CUT ! 744 00:48:43,529 --> 00:48:47,446 HELP, CHERISH ! I'M STUCK IN A K-HOLE, AND I CAN'T GET OUT ! 745 00:48:49,143 --> 00:48:52,973 - [ Grunts ] - COME ON, LYLE. 746 00:48:53,017 --> 00:48:55,976 [ Loud Feedback ]OH, SHIT ! 747 00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:58,283 FINISH THE FUCKING SCENE ! 748 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:03,070 BAD MOVIES MUST BE AVENGED ! 749 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,816 [ Nervous Chuckle ] 750 00:49:09,859 --> 00:49:12,340 THAT'S A CUT ! [ Grunts ] 751 00:49:12,384 --> 00:49:14,081 [ Raven ] CECIL ! 752 00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:20,131 HERE.[ Mutters ] 753 00:49:20,174 --> 00:49:22,524 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? - DON'T SHOOT ! 754 00:49:22,568 --> 00:49:25,832 - I'M HONEY WHITLOCK, AND I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED. - COME BACK ! 755 00:49:25,875 --> 00:49:29,879 NO ! NO ! WE'LL GO TO SUNDANCE TOGETHER, I PROMISE ! 756 00:49:29,923 --> 00:49:34,580 HEY, DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM ? EXCUSE ME, I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED ! 757 00:49:34,623 --> 00:49:37,583 DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M AN ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE ? 758 00:49:37,626 --> 00:49:40,586 [ Gunshots ]CECIL, HELP ME ! 759 00:49:40,629 --> 00:49:42,936 HELP ! OW ! OW ! OW ! 760 00:49:42,980 --> 00:49:45,983 [ Chattering Continues ] 761 00:49:48,289 --> 00:49:50,291 HELP !LET'S ROLL ! 762 00:49:50,335 --> 00:49:52,990 HELP, CECIL ! 763 00:49:55,209 --> 00:49:57,864 [ Tires Screeching ] 764 00:49:57,907 --> 00:49:59,909 [ Siren Wailing ][ Honey ] ATTICA ! 765 00:49:59,953 --> 00:50:04,088 RODNEY KING ! DAVID BEGELMAN ! [ Yelling ] 766 00:50:04,871 --> 00:50:07,613 LET ME GO ! LET ME OUT OF HERE ! 767 00:50:07,656 --> 00:50:11,182 [ Honey Screaming ] 768 00:50:11,225 --> 00:50:12,966 - [ Dinah ] PICTURE'S UP ! - ROLL ! 769 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:15,969 SPEED !HEY, IT'S YOUR CLOSE-UP ! 770 00:50:16,013 --> 00:50:18,102 - [ Chuckling ] - [ Siren Continues ] 771 00:50:18,145 --> 00:50:20,713 - I HATE YOUR MOVIES ! - ACTION ! 772 00:50:20,756 --> 00:50:23,716 LONG LIVE GUERRILLA FILMMAKING ! 773 00:50:23,759 --> 00:50:25,761 [ Dinah ] LOOK OUT ! SHIT ! 774 00:50:25,805 --> 00:50:29,026 [ Together ] WHOA ! WHOA ! WHOA ! 775 00:50:29,069 --> 00:50:31,767 CUT ! CUT ! [ Gunshot ] 776 00:50:33,813 --> 00:50:37,382 - [ Tires Screeching ] - [ Siren Approaching ] 777 00:50:37,425 --> 00:50:39,645 [ Shouting, Screaming ] 778 00:50:43,431 --> 00:50:45,433 [ Groans ] 779 00:50:47,740 --> 00:50:49,611 I AM CECIL B. DEMENTED, THE ENEMY OF FAMILY FILMS ! 780 00:50:49,655 --> 00:50:51,961 [ Gun Clicks ]SHIT ! 781 00:50:52,005 --> 00:50:55,530 - YOU COULDN'T DIRECT TRAFFIC ! - [ Lewis ] THESE COPS AREN'T GOIN' NOWHERE. 782 00:50:55,574 --> 00:50:58,751 GO BACK TO FILM SCHOOL, STUPID !STRAIGHT TO VIDEO-- THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE ! 783 00:50:58,794 --> 00:51:01,797 [ Grunting ] [ Woman #1 ] I HATE FILMS ! 784 00:51:01,841 --> 00:51:05,627 - PAM, FILM THESE FUCKERS ! - [ Dinah ] PICTURE'S UP ! 785 00:51:05,671 --> 00:51:07,934 WE DON'T WANNA BE IN YOUR SICK LITTLE MOVIE ! 786 00:51:07,977 --> 00:51:10,284 CAMERA ROLLING ! SPEED ! 787 00:51:10,328 --> 00:51:14,114 - [ Woman #2 ] PAY US, CHEAPSKATE ! - I'M NOT ANYBODY'S EXTRA ! 788 00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:16,290 [ Woman #3 ] I DON'T DO ANYTHING FOR ART !ACTION ! 789 00:51:16,334 --> 00:51:20,468 - I'M SICK OF VIOLENCE ! - OH, I CAN'T STAND THE F WORD ! 790 00:51:20,512 --> 00:51:24,864 - YEAH ? WELL, YOUR MOVIES BITE THE BIG ONE ! - WE WANT FRONTAL NUDITY ! 791 00:51:24,907 --> 00:51:27,997 OW, OW, OW !OW ! KEEP THE SCENE GOING ! 792 00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:31,871 - YOU STINK, HONEY WHITLOCK ! - YOU CAME IN FIFTH IN THE OSCARS. 793 00:51:31,914 --> 00:51:34,830 YOU DIDN'T WRITE ME DIALOGUE ?YOU'RE ONE OF US NOW. YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 794 00:51:34,874 --> 00:51:37,224 I WALK OUT OF YOUR FILMS ON AIRPLANES ! 795 00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:40,836 FAMILY IS JUST A DIRTY WORD FOR CENSORSHIP !NICE ! 796 00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,839 - [ All Gasping ] - CUT ! MOVIN' ON ! 797 00:51:43,883 --> 00:51:46,494 COME ON ! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE ! 798 00:51:46,538 --> 00:51:49,062 [ Dinah ] FUCKING FAMILIES ! LET'S GO ! 799 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,717 ♪ WHOA-HO 800 00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,286 ♪ YA-HA-HO-HO COME ON ! 801 00:51:55,329 --> 00:52:00,160 ♪ YA-HA-HO-HO 802 00:52:00,204 --> 00:52:02,597 COME ON, GO ! COME ON, COME ON ! COME ON, COME ON ! 803 00:52:02,641 --> 00:52:05,034 [ Chattering ]GO, GO, GO, GO ! MOVE, MOVE ! 804 00:52:05,078 --> 00:52:07,167 [ Chattering, Shouting ] 805 00:52:07,211 --> 00:52:09,300 [ Grunting ] 806 00:52:11,563 --> 00:52:15,001 [ Laughing ] 807 00:52:15,044 --> 00:52:17,743 - [ Yelling ] - [ Audience Laughing, Hooting ] 808 00:52:20,006 --> 00:52:22,356 ACTION FANS, HELP US ! 809 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,272 [ Audience ] YEAH !COME ON, COME ON, COME ON ! 810 00:52:25,316 --> 00:52:28,449 YEAH, CECIL ! COME ON ! [ Chattering Continues ] 811 00:52:28,493 --> 00:52:31,626 COME ON, COME ON !GO, GO ! 812 00:52:31,670 --> 00:52:34,934 [ Door Opens ] 813 00:52:34,977 --> 00:52:37,893 [ Together ] FAMILIES ! FAMILIES ![ Grunting ] 814 00:52:37,937 --> 00:52:41,114 - [ Yells ] - [ Shouting, Grunting Continue ] 815 00:52:45,205 --> 00:52:47,164 GIVE ME YOUR AUTOGRAPH. 816 00:52:47,207 --> 00:52:51,080 HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ENOUGH, ENOUGH. 817 00:52:57,913 --> 00:53:00,220 CECIL B. DEMENTED WANTS YOUR KEYS. 818 00:53:00,264 --> 00:53:02,440 FUCK HIM. HE AIN'T GONNA GET DISTRIBUTION. 819 00:53:02,483 --> 00:53:05,182 OH, YOU WANNA BET ? [ Shouting ] 820 00:53:05,225 --> 00:53:07,967 [ Grunting ] 821 00:53:08,010 --> 00:53:09,969 [ Grunts ] 822 00:53:10,012 --> 00:53:12,798 YEAH, BABY, YEAH ! LET'S GO ! 823 00:53:12,841 --> 00:53:14,843 [ Chattering Continues ]HONEY, HONEY ! 824 00:53:14,887 --> 00:53:17,368 THANKS, HONEY. [ Giggles ]HONEY, HONEY, I LOVE YOU ! 825 00:53:17,411 --> 00:53:20,545 [ Grumbling ] 826 00:53:22,590 --> 00:53:24,940 GO !LET'S GO ! LET'S GO ! 827 00:53:24,984 --> 00:53:27,334 [ Shouting ] 828 00:53:28,770 --> 00:53:30,729 [ Crowd ] HONEY, HONEY ! 829 00:53:30,772 --> 00:53:33,732 HEY, HEY, HONEY, SIGN MY PAROLE CARD ? 830 00:53:33,775 --> 00:53:37,214 IT'S OKAY ! WE'RE CRIMINALS TOO ! 831 00:53:37,257 --> 00:53:39,955 I LOVE YOU ! [ Men Hooting ] WE LOVE YOU ! 832 00:53:39,999 --> 00:53:42,741 YOU'RE CRAZY ![ Shouting, Hooting Continue ] 833 00:53:49,051 --> 00:53:51,663 ♪♪ [ R&B ] [ Searing Hiss ] 834 00:53:51,706 --> 00:53:55,710 [ Grunting ]THE SLASH AND BURN OF THE WHITE HOT METAL... 835 00:53:55,754 --> 00:53:59,888 WILL BRAND YOU FOREVER WITH THE LOGO OF CECIL B. DEMENTED. 836 00:53:59,932 --> 00:54:02,717 WEAR THE PRIVILEGED SCAR OF CINEMA SAINTHOOD... 837 00:54:02,761 --> 00:54:06,243 WITH PRIDE AND HORNINESS.[ Chardonnay Vocalizing ] 838 00:54:09,158 --> 00:54:12,466 [ Vocalizing Continues ] 839 00:54:21,301 --> 00:54:24,609 ♪ GOD, OUR PROTECTOR 840 00:54:24,652 --> 00:54:26,611 ♪ YEAH 841 00:54:26,654 --> 00:54:31,398 ♪ MAIN FILM DIRECTOR 842 00:54:31,442 --> 00:54:34,706 ♪ GIVE US A CUE 843 00:54:36,969 --> 00:54:40,102 ♪ WE'LL FOLLOW YOU 844 00:54:40,146 --> 00:54:44,672 ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER 845 00:54:44,716 --> 00:54:48,110 ♪ DEMENTED FOR LIFE 846 00:54:48,154 --> 00:54:51,331 THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAMILY. ♪♪ [ Singing Continues ] 847 00:54:51,375 --> 00:54:56,423 WE ARE THE ORPHANS OF CINEMA, AND WITHOUT OUR MOVIE, WE DO NOT EXIST. 848 00:54:56,467 --> 00:54:59,774 WE ARE NOT HUMAN. WE ARE ALL PART OF ONE GIANT PROJECTOR. 849 00:54:59,818 --> 00:55:03,474 AND OUR BLOOD IS THE FILM THAT WILL BE SHOWN TO THE WORLD. 850 00:55:03,517 --> 00:55:05,345 MY REAL LIFE BEGAN IN THE CINEMA. 851 00:55:05,389 --> 00:55:07,608 [ Flesh Sears ][ Gasps ] 852 00:55:07,652 --> 00:55:10,132 AND IT WILL END IN THE CINEMA ! 853 00:55:10,176 --> 00:55:14,180 [ Together ] ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER 854 00:55:14,223 --> 00:55:18,140 FROM THE VALLEYS OF LEBANON-- [ Gasps ][ Searing Continues ] 855 00:55:18,184 --> 00:55:22,710 [ Yells ] TO THE JUNGLES OF CUBA ! 856 00:55:23,972 --> 00:55:25,713 [ Grunts ] 857 00:55:27,802 --> 00:55:30,414 FILM REVOLUTIONARIES CAN NEVER BE STOPPED. 858 00:55:30,457 --> 00:55:33,634 ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER [ Together ] ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER 859 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:38,291 ♪ DEMENTED FOR LIFE 860 00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:41,512 RODNEY DIED FOR THE ROOTS OF CINEMATIC REBELLION. 861 00:55:41,555 --> 00:55:43,862 AND HE'S NOW IN CINEMA HELL, 862 00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:47,300 WHERE ONE DAY WE'LL ALL BE REUNITED. 863 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:49,389 PLEASURE IS PAIN ! 864 00:55:49,433 --> 00:55:51,957 SLAVERY IS FREEDOM ! 865 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,307 SUICIDE FOR SATAN ! 866 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:57,354 ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER 867 00:56:01,140 --> 00:56:04,883 BUT OUR FILM COULD STILL BE A HIT EVEN AFTER WE'RE DEAD, RIGHT, CECIL ? 868 00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:09,670 ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER [ Crew ] ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER 869 00:56:12,107 --> 00:56:14,066 FIDGET. 870 00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:30,082 FIDGET'S A GOOD BOY, AND WE LOVE HIM. 871 00:56:30,125 --> 00:56:32,606 AND WE WILL STAND BEHIND OUR SON NO MATTER WHAT HE'S DONE. 872 00:56:34,347 --> 00:56:36,915 NO ! I WANNA GO HOME ! 873 00:56:36,958 --> 00:56:39,091 I DON'T WANNA BE IN SHOW BUSINESS ANYMORE ! 874 00:56:39,134 --> 00:56:41,528 I KNEW YOU WERE THE WEAK ONE, FIDGET. 875 00:56:45,053 --> 00:56:48,927 JUST REMEMBER, YOUR PARENTS LIKED GODZILLA. 876 00:56:48,970 --> 00:56:51,669 THEY WOULDN'T EVEN LET YOU SEE R-RATED FILMS AS A CHILD. 877 00:56:51,712 --> 00:56:55,237 THEY'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN TO A MIDNIGHT MOVIE. 878 00:56:55,281 --> 00:56:57,762 THEY ENJOY CLASSIC TV SITCOMS TURNED INTO FEATURE-LENGTH FILMS. 879 00:56:57,805 --> 00:57:00,765 - THEY'VE NEVER RENTED A PORNO MOVIE. - AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, 880 00:57:00,808 --> 00:57:03,332 THEY TALK OUT LOUD IN THE THEATER ONCE THE FEATURE HAS BEGUN. 881 00:57:03,376 --> 00:57:06,684 - [ Crew ] OH ! - OH, THAT REALLY IS UNFORGIVABLE, FIDGET. 882 00:57:12,516 --> 00:57:15,127 OKAY, OKAY ! MY PARENTS ARE THE ENEMIES OF FILM ! 883 00:57:15,170 --> 00:57:17,390 DO IT ! 884 00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:20,611 [ Crew ] YEAH ! ALL RIGHT ! 885 00:57:20,654 --> 00:57:25,529 - DEMENTED FOREVER ! - [ Together ] ♪ DEMENTED FOREVER 886 00:57:25,572 --> 00:57:28,357 AND YOU, HONEY ? 887 00:57:32,536 --> 00:57:34,538 NO, CECIL. 888 00:57:36,365 --> 00:57:38,716 SO TELL ME THE TRUTH NOW.[ Audience Applauding ] 889 00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,457 DID YOU EVER, IN ALL THOSE YEARS, 890 00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:43,285 SUSPECT THAT YOUR EX-WIFE... 891 00:57:43,329 --> 00:57:46,506 HAD, WELL, YOU KNOW, RADICAL TENDENCIES ? 892 00:57:46,550 --> 00:57:49,553 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, ROSEANNE. 893 00:57:49,596 --> 00:57:53,382 I WAS MARRIED TO HONEY WHITLOCK FOR SEVEN YEARS,[ Audience Gasps ] 894 00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:56,821 AND I'M NOT A BIT SURPRISED WHAT A NUT SHE REALLY IS. 895 00:57:56,864 --> 00:57:59,258 [ Audience Laughing ]OH, THANKS A LOT. 896 00:57:59,301 --> 00:58:01,782 SATAN LOVES YOU, HONEY. 897 00:58:01,826 --> 00:58:04,263 AND SO DO I. 898 00:58:04,306 --> 00:58:07,701 HONEY WHITLOCK WAS ALWAYS ATTRACTED TO THE WRONG KIND OF MAN. 899 00:58:07,745 --> 00:58:10,312 I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF SHE WAS IN ON HER KIDNAPPING FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. 900 00:58:10,356 --> 00:58:13,228 SHE'D DO ANYTHING FOR SEX. 901 00:58:13,272 --> 00:58:16,623 - [ TV: Male Reporter ] THE MARYLAND FILM COMMISSION-- - YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET. 902 00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:21,280 CECIL B. DEMENTED, YOU CAN NEVER STOP HOLLYWOOD. 903 00:58:21,323 --> 00:58:24,109 THE MARYLAND FILM COMMISSION IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE... 904 00:58:24,152 --> 00:58:28,679 THERE WILL BE NO DELAY IN TOMORROW'S ONCE-SECRET START DATE... 905 00:58:28,722 --> 00:58:34,641 FOR THE $65 MILLION SHOT ENTIRELY IN BALTIMORE SEQUEL... 906 00:58:34,685 --> 00:58:38,819 TO THE OSCAR-WINNING MASTERPIECE FORREST GUMP, 907 00:58:38,863 --> 00:58:42,606 GUMP AGAIN, STARRING KEVIN NEALON.[ All Scoffing ] 908 00:58:42,649 --> 00:58:46,479 I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERY MEMBER OF THE ACADEMY OF THE ARTS AND SCIENCES... 909 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,437 WHEN I SAY, HONEY WHITLOCK, 910 00:58:48,481 --> 00:58:52,224 YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO THE ENTIRE HOLLYWOOD COMMUNITY. 911 00:58:55,575 --> 00:58:57,534 SAY IT. 912 00:59:05,629 --> 00:59:07,935 DEMENTED FOREVER. 913 00:59:09,502 --> 00:59:11,504 [ Crew ] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 914 00:59:11,548 --> 00:59:16,465 YEAH. OH, YEAH. 915 00:59:16,509 --> 00:59:21,645 [ Sighs ] THIS TIME, IHAVE A FUCKING VISION. 916 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:51,762 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 917 00:59:56,375 --> 00:59:58,638 CAN I HELP YOU ? 918 00:59:58,682 --> 01:00:01,510 WE GOT A DELIVERY FOR KEVIN NEALON FROM PARAMOUNT STUDIOS. 919 01:00:01,554 --> 01:00:03,556 SHH. 920 01:00:04,949 --> 01:00:07,299 LARGEST BOX OF CHOCOLATES WE EVER MADE. 921 01:00:07,342 --> 01:00:09,301 SHH, SHH. 922 01:00:11,738 --> 01:00:14,219 WELL, I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHECK YOUR TRUCK OUT. 923 01:00:14,262 --> 01:00:16,264 SURE. 924 01:00:21,922 --> 01:00:24,969 YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA FIND INSIDE. 925 01:00:25,012 --> 01:00:26,971 [ Guns Cock ]ACTION ! 926 01:00:27,014 --> 01:00:30,714 [ Stun Gun Buzzes ][ Chattering ] GET HIM IN ! 927 01:00:33,847 --> 01:00:36,154 ALL RIGHT. JUST KEEP AN EYE ON THE SHOT. 928 01:00:36,197 --> 01:00:38,547 [ Chattering Continues ]ADD HIS HAIR DYE. THAT'S IT. 929 01:00:38,591 --> 01:00:40,854 LOOKS GOOD. NICE, NICE. 930 01:00:40,898 --> 01:00:43,378 JEAN-PIERRE, YOU OKAY ? YOU NEED ANOTHER CAMERA REHEARSAL ? 931 01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:46,555 NO, SIR. WE'RE SET. 932 01:00:46,599 --> 01:00:50,211 DO YOU BELIEVE HOW LONG IT TOOK 'EM TO DO THAT LAST SHOT ?IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. 933 01:00:50,255 --> 01:00:53,693 THE MONEY THEY'RE THROWING AWAY HERE IS UNBELIEVABLE. YOU GOT A PAIR OF SEVENS. 934 01:00:53,737 --> 01:00:56,000 THAT'S NOT BAD. HEY, YOU'RE CHEATIN' OVER THERE. 935 01:00:56,043 --> 01:00:58,045 [ Laughs ]WHAT DO YOU GOT, A JACK, KING ? 936 01:00:58,089 --> 01:01:01,701 - [ Grunts ] - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ?- HEY ! 937 01:01:01,745 --> 01:01:04,225 WE'RE NONUNION, AND WE'RE TAKING OVER THIS MOVIE ! 938 01:01:04,269 --> 01:01:06,401 OKAY. LET'S SHOOT THIS SUCKER.YOU GOT IT. 939 01:01:06,445 --> 01:01:08,752 [ Woman ] OKAY, PEOPLE. CLEAR THE SET. 940 01:01:08,795 --> 01:01:11,668 AND... LOCK IT UP ! 941 01:01:12,712 --> 01:01:14,627 WE DON'T HAVE TO TAKE-- 942 01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:16,673 [ Both Gagging ] 943 01:01:18,631 --> 01:01:22,026 [ Grunts ] SON OF A BITCH ! 944 01:01:22,069 --> 01:01:25,246 [ Grumbling ]GET THIS MOTHERFUCKER OFF OF ME ! 945 01:01:25,290 --> 01:01:28,249 [ Both Grumbling ] 946 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:32,210 IT'S ALREADY LOCKED DOWN.PICTURE'S UP. 947 01:01:32,253 --> 01:01:36,605 [ Grunting, Whimpering ] 948 01:01:37,955 --> 01:01:42,394 [ Director ] WELL, IS THERE A PROBLEM ? 949 01:01:42,437 --> 01:01:44,657 WHERE'S THE A.D. ? 950 01:01:44,701 --> 01:01:46,659 [ Gasps ][ Gasps ] 951 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,531 JANINE. WHERE THE FUCK IS JANINE ? 952 01:01:51,185 --> 01:01:53,840 I'M GETTING OLDER HERE. 953 01:01:53,884 --> 01:01:56,495 [ Stun Gun Buzzes ] BUDGET'S CLIMBING ! 954 01:01:56,538 --> 01:01:59,193 $1,000 A SECOND. $1,000 A SECOND. 955 01:01:59,237 --> 01:02:01,326 $1,000 A SECOND. 956 01:02:01,369 --> 01:02:04,590 THAT'S WHAT IT'S COSTING WHILE WE WAIT, GANG ![ Grunting ] 957 01:02:06,287 --> 01:02:08,289 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. 958 01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:11,858 JESUS, CAN WE SHOOT ?ROLL SOUND. 959 01:02:11,902 --> 01:02:14,121 SOUND SPEED. 960 01:02:14,165 --> 01:02:16,080 - [ Grunts ] - [ Feedback ] 961 01:02:16,123 --> 01:02:18,778 CAN I HAVE FUCKING QUIET ? 962 01:02:18,822 --> 01:02:21,999 CAMERA ROLLING. FINALLY !MARK IT. 963 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,785 AND... ACTION. 964 01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:34,228 HELLO, MY NAME'S FORREST. FORREST GUMP. 965 01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:37,536 THAT'S A DAMN SHAME. 966 01:02:37,579 --> 01:02:39,973 [ Nealon ] YOU WANT SOME OF MY CRAB CAKES ? 967 01:02:40,017 --> 01:02:43,411 I DON'T EAT SCAVENGERS. YOU KNOW WHAT CRABS EAT ? 968 01:02:43,455 --> 01:02:45,936 FISH FECES. 969 01:02:45,979 --> 01:02:49,069 WELL, MY MOMMA ALWAYS SAID, "GUMP HAPPENS." 970 01:02:49,113 --> 01:02:51,898 SHUCKS, I GUESS LIFE IS A LOT LIKE A CRAB CAKE. 971 01:02:51,942 --> 01:02:54,640 THERE'S LOTS OF GOOD STUFF IN THE MIDDLE, 972 01:02:54,683 --> 01:02:56,947 BUT IT'S SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF CRAP. 973 01:02:56,990 --> 01:03:00,385 - CUT ! - WHAT THE HELL ? 974 01:03:00,428 --> 01:03:03,475 I AM CECIL B. DEMENTED, AND THIS PICTURE IS TERMINATED ! 975 01:03:03,518 --> 01:03:06,391 GET OFF MY SET NOW ! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ? 976 01:03:07,871 --> 01:03:11,309 NOBODY CAN STOP THE POPULARITY OF FORREST GUMP. 977 01:03:11,352 --> 01:03:16,314 FUCKIN' LITTLE SCABS !WE'LL GET THEIR LITTLE 16-MILLIMETER ASSES. 978 01:03:16,357 --> 01:03:20,144 I GOT IT.NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE BROTHERHOOD OF TEAMSTERS ! 979 01:03:20,187 --> 01:03:23,669 [ All Grumbling, Shouting ] 980 01:03:23,712 --> 01:03:27,934 OW, THAT HURT ! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ? GET ME OUT OF HERE ! 981 01:03:27,978 --> 01:03:30,371 MARK IT. 982 01:03:30,415 --> 01:03:32,373 THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT. 983 01:03:32,417 --> 01:03:34,854 AND... ACTION ! 984 01:03:34,898 --> 01:03:37,683 I FUCKING HATEFORREST GUMP ! 985 01:03:37,726 --> 01:03:39,990 I ONLY TAKE THE ROLES I'M OFFERED, MA'AM. 986 01:03:40,033 --> 01:03:42,906 ARE YOU THIS DESPERATE FOR PUBLICITY, HONEY WHITLOCK ? 987 01:03:42,949 --> 01:03:45,865 DON'T STEP ON MY LINES, ASSHOLE ! 988 01:03:45,909 --> 01:03:47,954 [ Whispering ] SHH, SHH, SHH ! QUIET ! 989 01:03:49,695 --> 01:03:52,959 - NO MORE PER DIEMS ! - PLEASE, I'M A LOCAL HIRE ! 990 01:03:53,003 --> 01:03:56,833 - NO MORE MEAL PENALTIES. - YES, MA'AM. WE'RE OFF THE CLOCK. 991 01:03:56,876 --> 01:04:01,750 AND NO MORE FREE FOOD AT INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVALS FOR YOU EITHER, HACK ! 992 01:04:01,794 --> 01:04:03,752 THE DIRECTOR'S GUILD OF AMERICA... 993 01:04:03,796 --> 01:04:06,973 WILL BRING DOWN ITS SWIFT SWORD OF JUSTICE ON YOU RANK AMATEURS. 994 01:04:09,193 --> 01:04:11,238 [ Man ] GO ! 995 01:04:11,282 --> 01:04:15,155 DRUGS ! GIVE ME POPPERS. 996 01:04:15,199 --> 01:04:17,854 IT'S OKAY. WE GOT IT ON FILM. KEEP GOING ! 997 01:04:17,897 --> 01:04:20,421 [ Sniffing ] 998 01:04:20,465 --> 01:04:23,772 VISIONS OF LIGHT ! 999 01:04:23,816 --> 01:04:26,253 DEATH TO ALL WHO ARE CINEMATICALLY INCORRECT ! 1000 01:04:26,297 --> 01:04:29,604 - THAT MEANS YOU FUCKERS ! - [ Lewis ] YEAH ! 1001 01:04:29,648 --> 01:04:31,606 [ Grunts ] [ Cherish ] CECIL ! 1002 01:04:31,650 --> 01:04:34,871 [ Grunting ] [ Gunshots Continue ] 1003 01:04:34,914 --> 01:04:36,829 [ Lewis ] YO, GET HIM ! GET HIM ! 1004 01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:40,050 [ Grunts ] 1005 01:04:40,093 --> 01:04:42,748 SHIT ! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE !CALL THE DRIVER ! 1006 01:04:45,359 --> 01:04:47,579 - [ Petie ] CECIL, GET DOWN ! - [ Dinah ] LOSERS, DIE ! 1007 01:04:47,622 --> 01:04:51,235 - [ Shouts ] - [ Grunts ] 1008 01:04:51,278 --> 01:04:53,759 CECIL ! [ Grunts ] 1009 01:04:56,980 --> 01:05:01,114 [ Dinah ] LOOK OUT ! GET HIM ! GET HIM ! 1010 01:05:05,510 --> 01:05:09,340 - HONEY, GET DOWN ! - [ Cecil ] CHERISH, LOOK OUT ! GET DOWN ! 1011 01:05:09,383 --> 01:05:11,342 [ Lewis ] GET HIM, GET HIM, BABY ! 1012 01:05:11,385 --> 01:05:13,648 GOOD WORK, CHERISH !THANK YOU. 1013 01:05:13,692 --> 01:05:17,957 - [ Cecil ] FIX YOUR COSTUME. COME ON. - WILD SOUND ! 1014 01:05:18,001 --> 01:05:20,003 [ Yells ] 1015 01:05:25,269 --> 01:05:30,230 - [ Yells ] - [ Man ] HELP, HELP ! SHOOT ! SHOOT ! 1016 01:05:30,274 --> 01:05:33,190 [ Raven ] OH, MY GOD ! OH, NO ! [ Chattering, Shouting ] 1017 01:05:33,233 --> 01:05:38,673 DINAH ! [ Gunshots Continue ] 1018 01:05:41,198 --> 01:05:42,939 [ Chattering, Grunting ] 1019 01:05:42,982 --> 01:05:44,941 OH, GOD. 1020 01:05:47,465 --> 01:05:50,685 HEY, HEY, MAN. WHAT'S WRONG ? STAPLED ? HUH ! 1021 01:05:55,908 --> 01:06:00,913 OH, THANK GOD ! [ Gasping, Laughing ] 1022 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:03,350 [ Cherish ] OH, GOD ! [ Cecil Grunting ] 1023 01:06:06,614 --> 01:06:08,877 [ Men Groaning ] 1024 01:06:08,921 --> 01:06:12,011 DEAR DIARY, 1025 01:06:12,055 --> 01:06:17,799 ANOTHER DAY, AND IT'S THE SAME OLD THING. 1026 01:06:17,843 --> 01:06:20,846 [ Groaning Continues ] EVERYWHERE I GO, 1027 01:06:20,889 --> 01:06:24,458 EVERYTHING I DO JUST SEEMS TO LEAD... 1028 01:06:24,502 --> 01:06:27,461 TO THE SAME DEAD END-- 1029 01:06:27,505 --> 01:06:30,595 MY DERRIERE.[ All Sighing ] 1030 01:06:32,075 --> 01:06:34,599 HEY, BUDDY, I'M IN A LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE. 1031 01:06:34,642 --> 01:06:38,951 OH, MY GOD ! IT'S YOU ! I WAS JUST LOOKING AT YOUR ASS IN THIS MAGAZINE. 1032 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:42,128 YEAH, THAT'S MY ASS, ALL RIGHT, AND IT'S IN TROUBLE. CAN ME AND MY FRIENDS COME INSIDE ? 1033 01:06:42,172 --> 01:06:45,305 OH, SURE CAN. OH, WE SELL YOUR ASS. HI. 1034 01:06:45,349 --> 01:06:47,699 HI. 1035 01:06:47,742 --> 01:06:50,963 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HER ! I BEAT OFF TO HER EVERY NIGHT. 1036 01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:53,357 WOULD YOU SIGN IT... TO SNIFFLES ? 1037 01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:55,968 - ONE F OR TWO ? - TWO. 1038 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:59,015 OH.BAD NIGHT, HUH ? 1039 01:06:59,058 --> 01:07:02,975 - RIGHT. - GO ON IN. POP A LOAD. 1040 01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:04,759 UH, GUYS. 1041 01:07:08,285 --> 01:07:13,377 WHY IS IT THAT MEN ONLY WANT MY ASS ? 1042 01:07:13,420 --> 01:07:17,294 [ Groaning Continues ] 1043 01:07:17,337 --> 01:07:20,601 - DO YOU KNOW WHY, LITTLE PELLET ? - [ Gerbil Squealing ] 1044 01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:25,911 GOOD PELLET. 1045 01:07:25,954 --> 01:07:29,088 OH, BAD PELLET. 1046 01:07:29,132 --> 01:07:31,873 [ Cherish Moaning ] 1047 01:07:31,917 --> 01:07:36,574 OH, PELLET, YOU'RE A VERY NAUGHTY GERBIL. 1048 01:07:36,617 --> 01:07:39,751 [ Men Moaning ]YES, YOU ARE. 1049 01:07:39,794 --> 01:07:43,885 YOU'RE GONNA BE MOMMY'S GOOD PELLET, AREN'T YOU ? 1050 01:07:43,929 --> 01:07:46,105 [ Moaning Continues ]WHOOPS ! 1051 01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:49,326 [ All Moaning ] PELLET ! 1052 01:07:49,369 --> 01:07:52,242 [ Lewis ] YEAH. WHERE ARE YOU, LITTLE GERBIL ? 1053 01:07:52,285 --> 01:07:53,982 [ Cecil ] HEY ![ Moaning Stops ] 1054 01:07:54,026 --> 01:07:57,203 [ Lewis ] SORRY. HERE, PELLET.[ Grunts ] 1055 01:07:57,247 --> 01:08:00,163 MOMMY'S GOT SOME CEREAL FOR YOU. 1056 01:08:00,206 --> 01:08:03,122 [ Squealing ] [ Moaning Intensifies ] 1057 01:08:06,169 --> 01:08:09,172 I'LL BE YOUR CINEMA SLAVE. 1058 01:08:13,828 --> 01:08:15,743 WHERE ARE THEY, YOU PERVERT ?WHO ? 1059 01:08:15,787 --> 01:08:17,963 THERE'S NO ONE HERE BUT US WHACKERS. 1060 01:08:18,006 --> 01:08:19,747 [ Grunts ] 1061 01:08:21,314 --> 01:08:24,012 DEMENTED FOREVER. 1062 01:08:25,884 --> 01:08:29,496 [ Moaning Continues ] [ Pellet Squealing ] 1063 01:08:31,194 --> 01:08:34,849 [ Moaning Intensifies ] 1064 01:08:34,893 --> 01:08:39,289 HEY, PAL, THAT'S ILLEGAL, HUH ? HEY, I PAID MY ADMISSION PRICE. 1065 01:08:39,332 --> 01:08:42,030 PELLET ![ Men ] OH ! 1066 01:08:42,074 --> 01:08:45,643 [ Pop ][ Gasps ] 1067 01:08:45,686 --> 01:08:49,168 NOT THERE, PELLET ! REAR ENTRY ! 1068 01:08:49,212 --> 01:08:51,866 [ Audience Sighing ] 1069 01:08:54,652 --> 01:08:56,610 THERE ! 1070 01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:58,960 [ Cherish Moaning ]PORNO FANS ! 1071 01:08:59,004 --> 01:09:03,269 IT'S ME ! CHERISH ! AND I NEED YOUR HARD-CORE HELP ! 1072 01:09:03,313 --> 01:09:07,534 - THE TEAMSTERS ARE HERE. - [ Audience ] WE LOVE YOU, CHERISH ! 1073 01:09:07,578 --> 01:09:12,409 LONG LIVE CECIL B. DEMENTED, A FRIEND OF PORNOGRAPHY ! 1074 01:09:12,452 --> 01:09:14,498 [ Moaning Continues ] [ Cherish Chattering On Screen ] 1075 01:09:14,541 --> 01:09:17,588 [ Nervous Laughter ] HEY, KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME. 1076 01:09:17,631 --> 01:09:20,460 HEY, HEY, HEY ! BACK IT UP ! 1077 01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:23,507 HEY, WHOA, WHOA ! HEY, HEY ! 1078 01:09:23,550 --> 01:09:25,465 [ Cherish Shouting On Screen ] GET IT ! GET IT ! GET IN THERE ! GET IN THERE ! 1079 01:09:25,509 --> 01:09:28,773 OH, YES ! PELLET ! PELLET ! 1080 01:09:28,816 --> 01:09:31,254 GET IT, BOY ! GO ON, PELLET ! 1081 01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:34,170 GET IT ! YES ! DO IT TO ME, BABY ! 1082 01:09:44,528 --> 01:09:47,618 DEAR DIARY, 1083 01:09:49,402 --> 01:09:51,578 MY HUSBAND... 1084 01:09:51,622 --> 01:09:53,624 IS TRYING... 1085 01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:56,453 TO KILL ME. 1086 01:10:01,980 --> 01:10:04,548 - THREE, PLEASE. - $15. 1087 01:10:10,945 --> 01:10:14,601 COOL AS SHIT. HONEY WHITLOCK CAN OPEN ANY PICTURE. 1088 01:10:14,645 --> 01:10:16,951 [ Scoffs ] NOWSHE CAN. 1089 01:10:16,995 --> 01:10:20,607 WE SHOULD BLOW UP THE PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS. THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO. 1090 01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:24,002 HEY, CALM DOWN.BOMB PLANET HOLLYWOOD. 1091 01:10:24,045 --> 01:10:27,092 WOULD YOU GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF ? 1092 01:10:27,135 --> 01:10:29,834 - TWO ADULTS. - $10. 1093 01:10:33,490 --> 01:10:35,666 HEY, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD ! 1094 01:10:35,709 --> 01:10:38,103 THANKS. WHAT DO I GET IF I WIN ? 1095 01:10:38,146 --> 01:10:41,149 A BIG HAM. WHAT ELSE ? [ Laughing ] 1096 01:10:47,373 --> 01:10:49,332 [ Sighs ] 1097 01:10:51,725 --> 01:10:54,119 THIS IS IT-- OUR FINAL LOCATION. 1098 01:10:54,162 --> 01:10:56,121 WHERE WE'RE GONNA GET LAID ! 1099 01:10:56,164 --> 01:10:58,950 NOBODY LEAVES THIS DRIVE-IN ALIVE UNTIL WE FINISH OUR FILM. 1100 01:10:58,993 --> 01:11:01,692 TOTALLY RADICAL ! 1101 01:11:01,735 --> 01:11:04,347 [ Grunts ] 1102 01:11:12,833 --> 01:11:16,576 [ Man On P.A. ] ATTENTION, HONEY WHITLOCK LOOK-ALIKES. 1103 01:11:16,620 --> 01:11:19,884 PLEASE COME TO THE CONCESSION STAND AT THE END OF THE FILM... 1104 01:11:19,927 --> 01:11:22,713 TO SHOW YOUR FELLOW DRIVE-IN FANS YOUR COSTUMES... 1105 01:11:22,756 --> 01:11:25,411 AND MAYBE TAKE HOME A GRAND PRIZE... 1106 01:11:25,455 --> 01:11:29,676 OF A TEN-POUND SMITHFIELD HAM. 1107 01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:33,114 WE ALSO FEATURE SODAS, BURGERS, 1108 01:11:33,158 --> 01:11:35,465 HOT DOGS, POPCORN... 1109 01:11:35,508 --> 01:11:37,902 AND THE CANDY OF YOUR CHOICE. 1110 01:11:37,945 --> 01:11:40,992 ALL RIGHT HERE AT THE BENGIE'S DRIVE-IN THEATER, 1111 01:11:41,035 --> 01:11:43,037 WHERE TONIGHT, 1112 01:11:43,081 --> 01:11:46,824 HONEY WHITLOCK IS ON THE SCREEN ALL NIGHT LONG. 1113 01:11:48,173 --> 01:11:49,914 [ Grunting ] 1114 01:11:51,481 --> 01:11:53,570 [ Phone Ringing ]OH, MY GOD. 1115 01:11:55,789 --> 01:11:58,270 THE GREATEST DIRECTOR OF ALL TIME ! 1116 01:12:03,536 --> 01:12:06,452 [ Man ] COME ON. YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 1117 01:12:06,496 --> 01:12:08,454 YOU HAVE CINEMATIC IMMUNITY NOW. 1118 01:12:08,498 --> 01:12:10,543 YEAH, NONE OF YOUR OLD MOVIES COUNT. 1119 01:12:15,026 --> 01:12:18,551 THAT'S NOT YOU ON THE SCREEN. IT'S SOMEBODY ELSE. COME ON. 1120 01:12:22,468 --> 01:12:24,514 - [ Banging At Door ] - WHO IS IT ? 1121 01:12:24,557 --> 01:12:27,647 CECIL B. DEMENTED. 1122 01:12:27,691 --> 01:12:31,608 OH, RIGHT. THAT'S REALLY FUNNY, ASSHOLE. 1123 01:12:33,784 --> 01:12:36,221 [ Gasps ] 1124 01:12:38,963 --> 01:12:41,182 [ Muffled Shouting ] 1125 01:12:41,226 --> 01:12:44,011 [ Cat Meowing ] 1126 01:12:44,055 --> 01:12:46,666 KILL THE BITCH !SHE NEVER COULD ACT ! 1127 01:12:46,710 --> 01:12:48,668 HER CAREER IS OVER !HEY ! 1128 01:12:48,712 --> 01:12:52,280 NO. HEY, BAD REVIEWS CAN'T HURT ME NOW. 1129 01:12:52,324 --> 01:12:54,370 YEAH. WE'RE BEYOND THE CRITICS' REACH. 1130 01:12:54,413 --> 01:12:56,850 WHO CARES WHAT ANYBODY THINKS ABOUT OUR MOVIE ? 1131 01:12:56,894 --> 01:12:59,462 EXCEPT SATAN. [ Man ] SHUT UP, BITCH ! 1132 01:12:59,505 --> 01:13:01,464 [ Screaming ] 1133 01:13:03,988 --> 01:13:05,816 [ Man ] HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON ? [ Chattering, Horns Honking ] 1134 01:13:05,859 --> 01:13:08,558 HELLO. 1135 01:13:08,601 --> 01:13:10,821 THIS IS CECIL B. DEMENTED, 1136 01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:14,955 [ Chattering Continues ] SPEAKING TO YOU DIRECTLY FROM THIS THEATER. 1137 01:13:14,999 --> 01:13:19,133 [ Applause ]I WANT YOU ALL TO BE IN MY NEW MOVIE. 1138 01:13:19,177 --> 01:13:21,919 [ Cheering, Applause ] IT IS CALLEDRAVING BEAUTY. 1139 01:13:21,962 --> 01:13:26,097 WE ARE SHOOTING THE FINAL SCENE HERE TONIGHT. 1140 01:13:26,140 --> 01:13:29,230 I WISH CECIL WOULD KILL SOME MORE ASSHOLES. 1141 01:13:29,274 --> 01:13:32,756 YEAH, LIKE THOSE PHONY CRITICS WHO GIVE ALL GOOD REVIEWS IN THE MOVIE ADS. 1142 01:13:32,799 --> 01:13:35,193 OR THOSE LAST-MINUTE FUCK-HEAD TICKET BUYERS... 1143 01:13:35,236 --> 01:13:37,674 WHO ENTER THE THEATER AFTER THE FEATURE'S BEGUN. 1144 01:13:37,717 --> 01:13:40,285 JOIN THE REVOLUTION AGAINST HOLLYWOOD MOVIES. [ Sirens Wailing ] 1145 01:13:40,328 --> 01:13:43,636 BRING CINEMA WARS HOME TO THEATERS IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD... 1146 01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:47,335 AND PUNISH THOSE WHO STAND IN THE WAY OFYOUR KIND OF ENTERTAINMENT. 1147 01:13:47,379 --> 01:13:49,599 CINEMA HOODLUMS, 1148 01:13:49,642 --> 01:13:51,731 YOU CAN DESTROY COMMERCIAL CINEMA AS WE KNOW IT. 1149 01:13:51,775 --> 01:13:54,473 BURN DOWN THE MULTIPLEXES. 1150 01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:57,433 STOP THE MASS-DISTRIBUTION OF MEDIOCRE MOVIES ! 1151 01:13:57,476 --> 01:13:59,913 THIS IS A WARNING TO ALL CINEMAGOERS. 1152 01:13:59,957 --> 01:14:03,526 MAINSTREAM MOVIE FANS, WE WILL BURY YOU. 1153 01:14:03,569 --> 01:14:07,573 CECIL B. DEMENTED, YOU ARE SURROUNDED. 1154 01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:10,707 GIVE YOURSELF UP AND YOU AND YOUR CAST AND CREW WILL NOT BE INJURED. 1155 01:14:10,750 --> 01:14:14,711 PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE STUDIO EXECUTIVES IN THE POLICE VEHICLE. 1156 01:14:14,754 --> 01:14:16,713 [ Crew ] YEAH, YEAH. TELL THEM. 1157 01:14:16,756 --> 01:14:20,325 - I HAVE FINAL CUT ! - WE ARE NOT STUDIO EXECUTIVES. 1158 01:14:20,368 --> 01:14:22,327 WE ARE THE BALTIMORE CITY POLICE DEPARTMENT. 1159 01:14:24,068 --> 01:14:26,505 [ Man On Loudspeaker ] FIDGET, WE KNOW YOU'RE HERE. 1160 01:14:26,549 --> 01:14:29,377 WE HEARD IT ON THE NEWS. COME HOME, SON. 1161 01:14:29,421 --> 01:14:32,816 FANS OF OUTLAW CINEMA, 1162 01:14:32,859 --> 01:14:35,775 THEY WANT TO USE YOU FOR MARKET TESTING. 1163 01:14:35,819 --> 01:14:40,171 - [ Crew ] YEAH ! - THEY WANT TO DETAIN YOU AND PUT YOU IN FOCUS GROUPS. 1164 01:14:40,214 --> 01:14:42,347 UH-HUH ![ Together ] THAT'S RIGHT ! THAT'S RIGHT ! 1165 01:14:42,390 --> 01:14:44,523 BUT I WON'T LET THEM, 1166 01:14:44,567 --> 01:14:47,526 BECAUSE I DON'T BELIEVE IN PHONY LIFE-AFFIRMING ENDINGS ! 1167 01:14:47,570 --> 01:14:50,007 I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN CHANGE MY MOVIE ! 1168 01:14:50,050 --> 01:14:53,401 WACO ! WACO ! 1169 01:14:53,445 --> 01:14:55,752 [ Cecil ] THAT'S IT. 1170 01:14:55,795 --> 01:14:58,537 [ Grunts ] 1171 01:14:58,581 --> 01:15:01,279 FIDGET, IT'S YOUR DAD. 1172 01:15:01,322 --> 01:15:03,281 WE'RE HERE WITH A PSYCHIATRIST. 1173 01:15:03,324 --> 01:15:06,197 HE SPECIALIZES IN CHILDREN LIKE YOU. 1174 01:15:06,240 --> 01:15:09,374 EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY, SON. 1175 01:15:09,417 --> 01:15:11,594 FIDGET, IT'S MOMMY. 1176 01:15:11,637 --> 01:15:14,466 WE KNOW YOU'VE SEEN TOO MANY R-RATED MOVIES, 1177 01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:16,468 AND WE'RE HERE TO HELP. 1178 01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:18,557 [ Officer ] CECIL B. DEMENTED, YOUR PARENTS ARE HERE. 1179 01:15:18,601 --> 01:15:20,559 AND THEY WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO YOU. 1180 01:15:20,603 --> 01:15:23,344 - SINCLAIR, IT'S YOUR FATHER. - [ Groans ] 1181 01:15:23,388 --> 01:15:26,826 GOD ! [ Grunting ] 1182 01:15:26,870 --> 01:15:30,308 THOMAS ALVA EDISON IS THE ONLY FATHER I'VE EVER HAD ! 1183 01:15:30,351 --> 01:15:33,354 I KNOW YOU'RE SICK IN THE HEAD, BUT WHATEVER MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD DIRECT ? 1184 01:15:33,398 --> 01:15:35,400 [ All Chattering At Once ] 1185 01:15:35,443 --> 01:15:37,141 [ Raven ] YOU CAN DIRECT, CECIL. DON'T LISTEN TO THAT CHRISTIAN ! 1186 01:15:38,577 --> 01:15:42,755 - SINCLAIR, IT'S MOM. - OH ! 1187 01:15:42,799 --> 01:15:46,585 REPEAT AFTER ME. IT'S ONLY A MOVIE. 1188 01:15:46,629 --> 01:15:49,022 [ Grunting ] IT'S ONLY A MOVIE. 1189 01:15:49,066 --> 01:15:52,504 IT'S ONLY A MOVIE.PICTURE'S UP ! 1190 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,593 [ Raven ] ALL RIGHT ! 1191 01:15:54,637 --> 01:15:57,378 [ Feedback ]CECIL. 1192 01:15:57,422 --> 01:15:59,729 - ARE YOU OKAY ? - OH, SHIT. 1193 01:15:59,772 --> 01:16:01,774 [ Man ] COME ON, CECIL. WE GOT TO FINISH THE MOVIE. 1194 01:16:01,818 --> 01:16:03,733 COME ON. GET UP. COME ON. 1195 01:16:03,776 --> 01:16:06,039 COME ON. GET UP, CECIL. 1196 01:16:06,083 --> 01:16:08,085 HONEY WHITLOCK IS HERE TONIGHT, 1197 01:16:08,128 --> 01:16:10,740 [ Cheering ] LIVE AND IN PERSON. 1198 01:16:10,783 --> 01:16:13,177 AND SHE'S DYIN' TO MEET YA. 1199 01:16:13,220 --> 01:16:15,919 COME ON ! MOVE OUT ! GO ! GO ! LET'S GO ! 1200 01:16:15,962 --> 01:16:17,703 [ Cheering Continues ] 1201 01:16:19,836 --> 01:16:22,273 [ Grunting Continues ] 1202 01:16:22,316 --> 01:16:25,493 [ Cheering ] YEAH ! 1203 01:16:41,466 --> 01:16:43,686 YOU CAN MAKE IT. 1204 01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,818 JUST ONE MORE CAMERA SETUP, THEN WE CAN HAVE SEX. 1205 01:16:47,515 --> 01:16:51,215 HONEY, HONEY, HONEY. 1206 01:16:51,258 --> 01:16:54,784 I'VE HAD A FINAL VISION. 1207 01:16:54,827 --> 01:16:57,700 WOULD YOU SET YOUR HAIR ON FIRE FOR OUR MOVIE ? 1208 01:17:00,180 --> 01:17:03,140 MY REAL HAIR ? 1209 01:17:03,183 --> 01:17:05,533 [ Grunting ] 1210 01:17:05,577 --> 01:17:10,538 PROVE YOURSELF ONE MORE TIME, FOR YOUR CAST. 1211 01:17:12,976 --> 01:17:17,154 YOUR CREW. THEY'VE GIVEN UP THEIR LIVES FOR THIS FILM, 1212 01:17:17,197 --> 01:17:19,286 AND THEY CARRY THE ETERNAL FLAME OF CINEMA INSANITY. 1213 01:17:19,330 --> 01:17:21,071 DO IT. 1214 01:17:21,114 --> 01:17:24,857 YOUR FANS-- THEY LOVE THE NEW HONEY. 1215 01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:28,208 [ Cheering Continues ] THEY LOVE HER SO MUCH. 1216 01:17:28,252 --> 01:17:31,821 AND FOR ME-- CECIL B. DEMENTED. 1217 01:17:39,219 --> 01:17:41,221 [ Cheering Continues ] 1218 01:17:55,932 --> 01:17:59,936 I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP, MR. DEMENTED. 1219 01:17:59,979 --> 01:18:02,025 [ Officer ] CECIL B. DEMENTED, YOU HAVE 60 SECONDS. 1220 01:18:02,068 --> 01:18:04,114 PICTURE'S UP ! 1221 01:18:04,157 --> 01:18:07,944 ABANDON YOUR FILM OR WE WILL SHOOT TO KILL ! 1222 01:18:07,987 --> 01:18:10,642 CAMERA ROLLING ! SPEED ! 1223 01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:13,514 AND... ACTION ! 1224 01:18:13,558 --> 01:18:16,300 [ Cheering Continues ] 1225 01:18:16,343 --> 01:18:19,999 CELLULUNATICS AND CINEMA SURVIVALISTS ! 1226 01:18:24,656 --> 01:18:26,789 MAKE GOOD MOVIES OR DIE ! 1227 01:18:29,443 --> 01:18:31,402 WOW ! 1228 01:18:33,317 --> 01:18:35,580 [ Siren Wailing ] 1229 01:18:38,148 --> 01:18:40,454 CUT, CUT, CUT ! 1230 01:18:44,110 --> 01:18:47,635 THAT, FELLOW SPROCKET HOLES, IS A WRAP ! 1231 01:18:47,679 --> 01:18:50,334 - [ Grunts ] - [ Crowd Screaming ] 1232 01:18:50,377 --> 01:18:52,336 PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY HAS BEEN COMPLETED ! 1233 01:18:52,379 --> 01:18:55,948 - YOU MEAN WE CAN FUCK ? - FROM HERE TO TIMBUKTU ! 1234 01:18:56,949 --> 01:18:59,560 OH, YES ! 1235 01:19:04,043 --> 01:19:05,958 [ Pop ][ Both Moaning ] 1236 01:19:06,002 --> 01:19:08,613 [ Whooping ] 1237 01:19:08,656 --> 01:19:10,833 HONEY ! 1238 01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:17,622 [ Man ] RAVEN, I LOVE YOU ! I LOVE ALL SATANISTS ! PICK ME ! 1239 01:19:17,665 --> 01:19:21,147 HONEY ! OH ! AH ! 1240 01:19:21,191 --> 01:19:22,932 [ Grunting ] 1241 01:19:36,032 --> 01:19:39,209 YOU PICKED ME.YEAH. 1242 01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:42,168 GET UP HERE ! 1243 01:19:48,740 --> 01:19:51,482 [ Moaning ] 1244 01:19:57,531 --> 01:19:59,446 OKAY. [ Moans ] 1245 01:19:59,490 --> 01:20:02,623 [ Whimpering ] 1246 01:20:02,667 --> 01:20:05,365 [ Moaning Continues ] 1247 01:20:05,409 --> 01:20:07,933 OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH. 1248 01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:11,415 [ Moaning Continues ] 1249 01:20:14,331 --> 01:20:16,159 [ Lewis ] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.[ Moaning Intensifies ] 1250 01:20:22,818 --> 01:20:26,734 - HI, MOM ! - [ Moaning Continues ] 1251 01:20:34,742 --> 01:20:36,048 [ Sirens Continue ] 1252 01:20:36,092 --> 01:20:38,355 [ Pop ] 1253 01:20:38,398 --> 01:20:40,313 OH, MY GOD ! [ Screaming ] 1254 01:20:40,357 --> 01:20:44,404 OH, SHIT ! COME ON ! 1255 01:20:44,448 --> 01:20:46,102 [ Sirens, Shouting Continue ] 1256 01:20:46,145 --> 01:20:49,192 [ Grunts ] 1257 01:20:54,371 --> 01:20:56,764 [ Both Yell ] 1258 01:20:56,808 --> 01:20:59,419 [ Chardonnay ] GET THE FILM !I GOT IT ! 1259 01:21:02,292 --> 01:21:06,209 [ Grunting ] [ Crowd Shouting ] CECIL ! CECIL ! 1260 01:21:06,252 --> 01:21:08,254 - HONEY ! - WHAT ? 1261 01:21:09,995 --> 01:21:13,303 I SEEN WHAT YOU DID, YOU HOLLYWOOD BITCH ! 1262 01:21:13,346 --> 01:21:17,394 MAYBE YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS SHIT IN CALIFORNIA, BUT WE'RE IN MARYLAND NOW. 1263 01:21:17,437 --> 01:21:20,223 YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, HONEY WHITLOCK. 1264 01:21:20,266 --> 01:21:22,703 [ Honey ] CECIL ! 1265 01:21:25,663 --> 01:21:28,187 I HAVE... 1266 01:21:28,231 --> 01:21:32,539 A VISION ! 1267 01:21:32,583 --> 01:21:36,369 [ Chair Crashes ][ Both Gasping ] 1268 01:21:36,413 --> 01:21:39,982 [ Chattering ] 1269 01:21:40,025 --> 01:21:44,508 [ Man ] OH, GOD !WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET. 1270 01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:46,727 [ Fidget's Mom On Loudspeaker ] FIDGET, WE'RE LEAVING. 1271 01:21:46,771 --> 01:21:49,339 HOW MUCH IS A MOTHER SUPPOSED TO TAKE ? 1272 01:21:49,382 --> 01:21:52,995 FUCKER ! SON OF A BITCH ! 1273 01:21:53,038 --> 01:21:55,432 [ Grunts ]GOOD-BYE, PETIE ! 1274 01:21:55,475 --> 01:21:58,478 I'LL VISIT YOU IN PRISON, MAN ![ Hooting ] 1275 01:21:58,522 --> 01:22:01,481 WE GOT THE FOOTAGE, BABY ![ Chardonnay ] ANYBODY GOT A CELL PHONE ? 1276 01:22:01,525 --> 01:22:03,440 CALL 20/20.GET ME AN AGENT ! GO, GO ! 1277 01:22:03,483 --> 01:22:06,312 [ Cheering ] HONEY ! HONEY !THANK YOU, THANK YOU ! 1278 01:22:06,356 --> 01:22:09,315 MISS WHITLOCK, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST ! HANDS IN THE AIR. SHOW'S OVER. 1279 01:22:09,359 --> 01:22:11,013 [ Raven ] HONEY, IT'S OKAY. WE FINISHED THE FILM ! 1280 01:22:15,234 --> 01:22:17,236 HAIL SATAN ! 1281 01:22:28,160 --> 01:22:31,294 [ Screams ] OW ! 1282 01:22:32,338 --> 01:22:35,472 OH, HI, MOM. 1283 01:22:35,515 --> 01:22:37,474 HEY, DAD. 1284 01:22:38,823 --> 01:22:43,523 [ Chattering Continues ][ Woman ] HONEY ! 1285 01:22:43,567 --> 01:22:46,874 ♪ NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE SAY CIAO ♪ 1286 01:22:49,138 --> 01:22:51,314 ♪ TILL WE MEET AGAIN 1287 01:22:51,357 --> 01:22:55,361 ♪ SAY CIAO 1288 01:22:55,405 --> 01:22:58,451 ♪ TIME WILL DISAPPEAR 1289 01:22:58,495 --> 01:23:00,758 ♪ SO HOLD ME NEAR 1290 01:23:00,801 --> 01:23:03,848 ♪ AND NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE 1291 01:23:03,891 --> 01:23:05,632 ♪ SAY CIAO 1292 01:23:10,072 --> 01:23:13,118 ♪ PLEASE DON'T SHED A TEAR 1293 01:23:13,162 --> 01:23:15,164 ♪ SAY CIAO 1294 01:23:16,904 --> 01:23:20,908 ♪ YOU'LL BE ALWAYS NEAR SOMEHOW ♪ 1295 01:23:23,433 --> 01:23:26,436 ♪ TIME WILL DISAPPEAR 1296 01:23:26,479 --> 01:23:29,221 ♪ SO SMILE, MY DEAR 1297 01:23:29,265 --> 01:23:34,009 ♪ AND NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE SAY CIAO ♪ 1298 01:23:38,665 --> 01:23:41,451 ♪ NO, NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE 1299 01:23:41,494 --> 01:23:46,151 ♪ SAY CIAO ♪ 1300 01:23:46,195 --> 01:23:48,371 [ Woman ] CHOW. 1301 01:23:48,414 --> 01:23:50,677 ♪♪ [ Heavy Metal ] 1302 01:23:50,721 --> 01:23:55,639 ♪ CHOW 1303 01:23:55,682 --> 01:23:57,945 ♪♪ [ Woman Wailing ] 1304 01:23:57,989 --> 01:23:59,643 ♪ CHOW, CHOW, CHOW, CHOW, CHOW CHOW, CHOW, CHOW, CHOW ♪ 1305 01:23:59,686 --> 01:24:02,820 ♪ CHOW, CHOW, CHOW 1306 01:24:02,863 --> 01:24:04,604 ♪♪ [ Wailing Continues ] 1307 01:24:07,781 --> 01:24:10,523 ♪♪ [ Continues ] ♪ CHOW, CHOW, CHOW, CHOW, CHOW 1308 01:25:18,417 --> 01:25:20,419 ♪♪ [ Hip-Hop ] 1309 01:25:22,421 --> 01:25:24,510 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 1310 01:25:24,554 --> 01:25:27,034 ♪ NO CRAFT SERVICE, MAN ♪ NO BUDGET 1311 01:25:27,078 --> 01:25:29,080 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 1312 01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:31,387 ♪ NO FUCKIN' CALL SHEETS, YO ♪ NO BUDGET 1313 01:25:31,430 --> 01:25:33,606 ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPIN' SHIT ♪ NO BUDGET 1314 01:25:33,650 --> 01:25:36,043 ♪ YEAH, WE GOT A START DATE FOR REAL ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 1315 01:25:36,087 --> 01:25:38,394 ♪ YO, THIS PICTURE'S A GO ♪ NO BUDGET 1316 01:25:38,437 --> 01:25:40,700 ♪ AND WE GONNA TURN HOLLYWOOD OUT ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 1317 01:25:40,744 --> 01:25:42,876 ♪ HOW THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST GONNA CHARGE ME RENT ♪ 1318 01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:45,009 ♪ DON'T NEED THE HELP OF SO-CALLED CRITICS ♪ 1319 01:25:45,052 --> 01:25:47,316 ♪ OUTLAW CINEMA WITH THE HOTTEST GUNSLINGERS ♪ 1320 01:25:47,359 --> 01:25:50,667 ♪ WHEN WE SAY ACTION CAMERAS ROLL, BEFORE YOUR DEAL IS FUCKIN' ASSHOLE CLEAN ♪ 1321 01:25:50,710 --> 01:25:53,365 ♪ IF I DIRECT, AIN'T GONNA BE NO MOTHERFUCKIN' SCENES ♪ 1322 01:25:53,409 --> 01:25:56,281 ♪ WE'LL DO THE EDITS TAKE THE CREDITS ♪ 1323 01:25:56,325 --> 01:25:59,110 ♪ IT'S OUR WAY OR NOBODY'S FUCK KEEPING IT CLEAN, HA ♪ 1324 01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:01,112 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 1325 01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:03,593 ♪ NO CRAFT SERVICE, MAN ♪ NO BUDGET 1326 01:26:03,636 --> 01:26:05,638 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 1327 01:26:05,682 --> 01:26:07,640 ♪ NO FUCKIN' CALL SHEETS, YO ♪ NO BUDGET 1328 01:26:07,684 --> 01:26:09,642 ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPIN' SHIT ♪ NO BUDGET 1329 01:26:09,686 --> 01:26:11,644 ♪ YEAH, WE GOT A START DATE FOR REAL ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 1330 01:26:11,688 --> 01:26:14,995 ♪ YO, THIS PICTURE'S A GO ♪ NO BUDGET 1331 01:26:15,039 --> 01:26:17,128 ♪ AND WE GONNA TURN HOLLYWOOD OUT ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 1332 01:26:17,172 --> 01:26:19,783 ♪ NO FOCUS THROUGH MY CAMERA LENS ♪ 1333 01:26:19,826 --> 01:26:21,959 ♪ PICTURE PERFECT YOU THINK IT'S PERFECT ♪ 1334 01:26:22,002 --> 01:26:24,222 ♪ I'LL SECOND THAT FUCKIN' EMOTION ♪ 1335 01:26:24,266 --> 01:26:27,138 ♪ I'M WITH THE TEAM WHAT YOU THINK ♪ 1336 01:26:27,182 --> 01:26:29,140 ♪ SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER WITH THE FUCKERS YOU NEED ♪ 1337 01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:31,055 ♪ NO BUDGET BITCHES, DROP YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' KNEES ♪ 1338 01:26:31,098 --> 01:26:33,405 ♪ I'M SICK OF SPITTING ON THESE SO-CALLED DEEDS ♪ 1339 01:26:33,449 --> 01:26:35,668 ♪ THEN THEY WALKIN' UP TO CECIL PETTY BITCHES, BITE ME ♪ 1340 01:26:35,712 --> 01:26:38,018 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 1341 01:26:38,062 --> 01:26:40,020 ♪ AIN'T NOBODY PUTTIN' US IN TURNAROUND ♪ 1342 01:26:40,064 --> 01:26:42,458 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 1343 01:26:42,501 --> 01:26:44,547 ♪ WE'LL DO THE EDITS TAKE THE CREDITS ♪ 1344 01:26:44,590 --> 01:26:46,984 ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPIN' SHIT ♪ NO BUDGET 1345 01:26:47,027 --> 01:26:49,029 ♪ YOU GOT THAT, MOTHERFUCKER 1346 01:26:49,073 --> 01:26:51,293 ♪ YO, THIS PICTURE'S A GO ♪ NO BUDGET 1347 01:26:53,817 --> 01:26:55,601 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 1348 01:26:55,645 --> 01:26:58,387 [ Woman Laughing ] ♪ NO BUDGET 1349 01:26:58,430 --> 01:27:01,085 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 1350 01:27:01,128 --> 01:27:03,087 ♪ FUCK KEEPING IT CLEAN ♪ NO BUDGET 1351 01:27:03,130 --> 01:27:05,481 ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPIN' SHIT ♪ NO BUDGET 1352 01:27:05,524 --> 01:27:07,483 ♪ PETTY BITCHES, BITE ME ♪ NO BUDGET 1353 01:27:07,526 --> 01:27:09,528 ♪ YO, THIS PICTURE'S A GO ♪ NO BUDGET 1354 01:27:09,572 --> 01:27:12,227 ♪ WHEN WE SAY ACTION CAMERAS ROLL ♪ ♪ NO BUDGET 1355 01:27:12,270 --> 01:27:14,229 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET ♪ NO BUDGET 1356 01:27:14,272 --> 01:27:16,840 ♪ AIN'T NOBODY PUTTIN' US IN TURNAROUND ♪ 1357 01:27:16,883 --> 01:27:18,842 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES ♪ NO BUDGET 1358 01:27:18,885 --> 01:27:21,148 ♪ WE'LL DO THE EDITS TAKE THE CREDITS ♪ 1359 01:27:21,192 --> 01:27:23,629 ♪ WE AIN'T RECOUPIN' SHIT ♪ NO BUDGET 1360 01:27:23,673 --> 01:27:25,718 ♪ YOU GOT THAT, MOTHERFUCKER 1361 01:27:25,762 --> 01:27:27,677 ♪ YO, THIS PICTURE'S A GO ♪ NO BUDGET 1362 01:27:30,462 --> 01:27:32,551 ♪ WE AIN'T GOT NO BUDGET 1363 01:27:32,595 --> 01:27:34,814 ♪ NO CRAFT SERVICE, MAN 1364 01:27:34,858 --> 01:27:37,034 ♪ WE DON'T TAKE NO NOTES 1365 01:27:37,077 --> 01:27:39,297 ♪ NO FUCKIN' CALL SHEETS, YO ♪ 1366 01:27:39,341 --> 01:27:43,432 CLOSED-CAPTIONED BY CAPTIONS, INC. LOS ANGELES 101073