Original subtitles

[soft music]

It seems you've won 500 quid.

I don't believe it.

Where's the ticket?

Frank took it.

You have won the £27 million.

Amazing.

I think we've just won £27 million from the lottery.

If he's taken our money I'll swing for him.

Is that for me?

All this stuff's gone.

What about his iPad?

And he's somewhere between Nice and Monaco.

We're gonna go after him.

We've no money.

I have, I'm gonna help you.

♪ Every gambler knows ♪

♪ That the secret to surviving ♪

♪ Is knowing what to throw away ♪

♪ And knowing what to keep ♪

♪ 'Cause every hand's winner ♪

♪ And every hand's a loser ♪

♪ And the best that you can hope for ♪

♪ Is to die in your sleep ♪

♪ You got to know when to hold 'em ♪

♪ Know when to fold 'em ♪

♪ Know when to walk away ♪

♪ And know when to run ♪

♪ You never count your money ♪

♪ When you're sitting at the table ♪

♪ There'll be time enough for counting ♪

♪ When the dealing's done ♪

[uplifting music]

Three, five, 17, 42.

Five.

17.

Are we going too fast still?

No. No it's okay.

22.

And 42.

And our lucky diamonds with one and 12.

Now, you are absolutely right.

They were the winning numbers.

So as I see it, this man, you know,

-Frank. -Frank.

He had the winning ticket.

You wish it was you.

No.

For God sake.

It's like I said to you on the phone,

we have published the numbers on our website now.

So without the ticket, if-

We had the ticket.

We're not making it up.

Yeah, we were on that board there.

You can still see the pin hole, look.

Five of us putting two quid each week.

Go and get the rest of them.

They'll tell you.

I mean, you can check with Cheryl.

She's the woman in the shop where we bought the ticket.

Connors and Allan Lang.

She'll tell you everything.

She's here.

Sorry.

Sorry I had a shampoo and pawdicure.

I'm sorry.

The jackpot has already been claimed.

Yeah, we know that.

Frank Stevenson claimed it.

He's Cheryl's fiance and he works at Connor's.

Right.

Well, the thing is

I'm not actually allowed to tell you who it is.

Because he wants to remain anonymous.

Yeah, 'cause he's a thieving bastard.

He's the one who took the ticket

and told us we won 500 quid when we hadn't.

We'd won the 27 million.

Okay,

I've never actually ever had a situation like this before.

So I will take advice from head office.

Does anyone want a cup of tea?

[All] No.

All right, I was just asking.

We do have an investigation department.

And when there's been an accusation of fraud-

He is a fraud.

A bloody big fat fraud.

How long would an investigation take?

Cause he's in Monaco spending our money right now.

We'll go over there, to Monaco if we have to.

We're all skin but Cheryl's offered to lend us the money.

No, honestly, that won't be necessary.

Now, I have got all of the details.

So I'm going to have a little word with this Cheryl.

[soft music]

[sobbing]

Hey there.

Hey.

I just thought I'd pop upstairs before I opened up

to make sure you're all right.

You sounded terrible on phone.

He's left me.

Bastard still a runner, he's in Monaco.

I knew he was just worried about the wedding

but I never thought he'd do anything like this.

Is there anything I can do?

I'll need some help,

I can't run the post office and the shop on my own.

And I'm gonna have to ring round,

letting people know the wedding's off.

Come here.

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh, you son of a bitch.

I can't believe you did that.

Yeah, well, you can't take it with you, can you?

Here we go.

I'll have 1000 in hundreds

and the rest in thousands, please.

It's got to return sometime.

There's a little wound on an her neck

that you might need to keep an eye on.

Really?

Yeah.

It's there.

I've shaved around the area.

-Do you see? -Oh yeah.

Has she been in a fight?

No, not that I know of.

But she goes out twice a week with the dog walker.

I'll have a word with her.

You know we do a dog walking service here,

with the kennel and the grooming.

I didn't.

Yeah we can pick her up from your house.

Good girl.

Take her for a walk, and then drop her back off,

or we can bring her back here for a half-day board.

That sounds great, she loves coming here.

Right, well, I've got all of your details.

I'll check with Graham about

availability and get back to you.

The woman from the canine trust is here,

she needs to see ya.

Right, I'm coming. Bye, Lulu-Belle!

Excellent. Thank you very much.

Oh, you don't need to tip me.

No, I know I don't. It's just to show my appreciation.

You're so good with her.

Right, well, er...

Thank you.

Don't forget to call me if you've got any spaces.

Yeah. Bye.

Bye.

Better in your pocket than his.

Have you seen his car?

He's bloody loaded.

Yeah, too right.

Right, come on, let's go.

Yeah. Sorry.

Hiya, it's Denise Simpson here,

from the Yorkshire office.

I was wondering if somebody could

give me a call back, please.

I think we might have a bit of a problem.

This time. This time.

Come on.

That's it. Come on.

What time are they coming to collect Howard?

Not sure.

Lucky sods have been in the Maldives for three weeks.

We'll be able to do that if we've won the lottery.

Police are bloody useless.

What did you think they were going to do?

So when do you find out if you've won?

Well, we've had our meeting, so I'll expect

they'll be checking things out now.

What I'm worries about is Frank could've blown it all

by the time they find him.

Or he could've doubled it.

You live in La La Land!

There's only one winner, Keeley, and that's the casino.

Ouais! Ouais!

Congratulations.

Right, I have got to go and check on the big guy,

so I want to see that lot doubled by the time I get back.

[suspenseful orchestral music]

Now, then.

-Hiya. -Hiya.

Hi. I've just had a call from that lottery woman.

It seems like Connor's are shut.

Did you try the flat?

I don't know.

It was just a message on the answer machine.

You don't think Cheryl's gone to Monaco?

No way!

Why would she?

Cos Frank's her fiance and he's run out on her?

Maybe she wants to sock him in the face, I would.

But she said she'll tell us.

I think right now she's got other things on her mind,

Keeley.

Have we got her number, Rox?

No. Just Frank's.

Ah. We'll have to go round there, then.

What will we do if she's gone?

She's not gone anywhere.

She's probably just trying to sort stuff out.

Hmm... I hope you're right.

I've just got a bad feeling.

You've been stood too near Jake.

It's catchy.

Stop worrying.

We'll call round to the shop

when we take t'dogs for their walk.

Yes.

M Just say she has gone, though, what would we do?

Oh, for God's sake!

We'll find a way.

If you each give me 50 quid, I can triple it in 24 hours.

No, you couldn't, Keeley!

Yes, I could! I've done it before.

Yeah, sure!

How many times?

Once, twice?

And how many times have you lost?

A thousand?

Got yer mam's telly back yet?

Oh, look at you, Judge bloody Judy!

Have you got any better ideas?

Hey, how about we rob a bank or sell us bodies?

I wouldn't get much for this body.

My tits are getting so big I'm busting out of me bras.

Lucky you!

Anyway, we won't have to sell anything

'cause I know Cheryl's gonna come good.

Come on, then, you. Let's go. Come on.

Come on.

[Frank gasps]

Oh, my God, Duke!

What've you been doing?

You naughty boy!

Come here, ya great lollop!

Oh, I'm sorry for leaving you for such a long time, buddy.

Yes, I am. I am. Yes.

What's the matter?

You hungry?

You hungry?

We'll get you some food, shall we?

Come on, then. Come on, then.

You asked me to let you know,

so I'm telling you, she's just leaving.

Theo?

Theo?

Lola and Billy's bed needs hosing out

and fresh blankets, yeah?

Yeah, I'm on it.

Come on, then. Come on, then.

Yeah, I need someone who can walk him twice a day

and maybe even stay and play with him for a bit.

[Man] Yes, of course.

Service de chambre, monsieur.

Or is there a doggy daycare anywhere nearby?

I will check that for you right away, sir.

Yeah, hang on a minute, Michel. Hang on.

It's for Duke.

The dog. The chien.

The chien. Yeah.

Here, yeah.

What was that?

Yeah, that's the type of thing.

Yeah, that'd be good.

Yeah, will you contact them for me

and see if they can take him for a couple of days a week?

I really appreciate that. Yeah.

Oh, and, Mr Stevenson, I've had a message from the casino.

They would like to invite you to the Salle Medecin.

What the hell's that?

It's for VIP clientele, sir.

Oh, very nice.

Look, while you're here,

who do I contact about looking at property?

Well, you ran talk to me if you like.

About six or seven million. Sea view.

How many bedrooms will you be requiring?

Is it just for you and the dog,

or will someone else be joining you?

Maybe.

I'm not sure.

Three bedrooms with their own bathrooms.

Cheers.

[Duke whines]

Oh...

I know.

Oh, it's all a bit strange, isn't it, eh?

How about me and you go and do a bit of shopping?

Fancy that?

It seems you've won 500 quid!

How about that, then?

No way!

Are you serious?

Yeah. It says, "Pay from till".

I don't know if I've got enough, I'll have to check.

Oh, my God!

It seems you've won 500 quid!

How about that, then?

No way!

Someone wants a recorded delivery.

Okay, yeah, I'm coming.

Erm...

Do you think that you could manage the shop

for a couple of days on your own?

No, not really. Why, where are you going?

I'm thinking of flying to the south of France

to try and find Frank.

What for?

I've paid out over £20,000 for this wedding.

He hasn't put his hand in his pocket once

apart from to buy the ring.

He owes me 17 grand that he borrowed to pay off his debt

and I'm not going to get the deposit back for the reception.

I'm not just gonna let him get away with it.

[suspenseful orchestral music]

Come on, Howard. Come on, Happy.

Aww, do you want to go for a run, Howard?

Yes, you do.

Aw, good boy!

Good boy!

[phone ringing]

What?

[Sam] Roxy, I need to talk to you. Can I see ya?

No. I told you, you had your chance and you blew it.

[Sam] Just listen.

You made it very clear you didn't want this baby.

You couldn't even be bothered to...

[Sam] You know what we were talking about?

No.

[Sam] How else were you going to get the money together?

That's none of your business, Sam.

[Sam] How else were you going to get it?

Howard!

I've got to go.

Happy, where's Howard?

Where's Howard? Howard!

Howard, where are you?

Howard, treats!

You can't just jump on a plane and leave me for...

It's just, like, a couple of days off, Graham.

You owe it to us.

I don't owe you anything.

Yes, you do.

I've never had one day off sick

in all of the time I've worked here.

I have come in full of cold or with stomach cramps

and you've never asked how I was or if I felt any better.

And it never entered your head

to tell us you were even thinking of selling up.

Look, I'm sorry, all right?

I didn't want to worry you.

Monaco's not cheap. How are you going to manage for money?

Cheryl from the newsagent's, she's gonna help us,

unless, of course, you want to sub us something.

Come on, Happy! Come on!

Oh, Graham!

Oh, Graham, I am so sorry.

I've lost Howard. I can't find him anywhere.

Oh, God! Where did you see him last?

On the top field. I let him off, like I always do.

There must be some bitch on heat in the woods.

Well, what time are the Lavines due back?

This afternoon.

Right, get out there and find him.

I'll ring the police and Dogs Trust,

see if he's been handed in.

And take the dogs with you, they need a walk.

You as well!

Oh, yeah.

And just say Cheryl does lend us the money for us airfare,

where are we gonna stay?

Airbnb, cheap hotel.

But there are no cheap hotels in Monaco, I've checked.

Well, we'll doss down in one room.

It's all doable, Jake.

Howard!

And what are we going to live off?

Well, when we find Frank, we'll have us winnings!

We'll be millionaires!

Yeah, if we find Frank!

What is it you don't get, jake?

What I don't get is it's all a big bloody gamble.

Where are you, Howard?

What if we can't find Frank?

We will find him!

He's got a bloody big Irish wolfhound with him!

Howard!

[whistling]

But what if he hasn't?

What if he's dropped Duke off somewhere?

He wouldn't go anywhere without Duke.

He didn't even want to go on his honeymoon without him.

Where are ya, Howard?

[she whistles]

But what if Frank has thrown himself into the Humber

and then somebody's took his phone from his car,

you said all the doors were all left open,

and they have flew to Monaco with it?

And what are the chances of that happening, Jake?

Come on, be honest.

We know he loves gambling and the Grand Prix,

it's where he'd go.

And there is no orthopaedic vet specialist in Hull,

we checked.

Frank's not the type to throw himself in.

They've sent divers down.

Yeah, 'cause they have to.

They haven't found a body, though, have they?

The Humber's tidal,

he could be in the middle of the sea by now.

Oh, for God's sake!

Well, you have to think of these things!

If we go over there, we'll be even more skint

and we'll owe Cheryl money.

We'll be in even more debt than we already are.

I give up.

I love you to death, but

you're such a glass-half-empty kind of guy, Jake.

Come on.

[mellow orchestral music]

Here we are.

There's flights tomorrow morning to Nice.

£273 return with a transfer to Monaco.

We need to get 'em while they're still this price.

They could go up any minute.

We need the money.

Look up the number for Connor's, give Cheryl a ring.

[phone rings]

[phone rings]

[Woman] You've reached Connor's Newsagent's.

Leave a message and we'll get back to you.

I don't understand.

He was here one minute and then gone the next.

What am I going to do?

Look, he's chipped and he's got a collar on

with his phone number.

[phone rings]

The Lavines will be on a plane on their way home.

It's work. Yeah?

Who is it?

Yeah.

-Right. -What are they saying?

Thanks for letting us know, Theo.

They've found him. Graham's gone to pick him up.

Oh, thank God! Where was he?

He never said.

Look, we need to get back.

Gemma and Theo are on their own,

and we've had a dog food delivery.

Come on. Come on.

["Home" by Amy May Ellis]

♪ Take me home where the cuckoo cries ♪

♪ Take me home where the swallows fly ♪

Yes, yes, we ran go out for a walk in a while.

You've just been out, haven't you?

♪ We will be a little stronger with them ♪

♪ We will be a little stronger then ♪

That's it. You go outside.

Good boy.

♪ We will be a little stronger ♪

♪ Take me out where my garden lies ♪

♪ Take me home where the flowers grow side by side ♪

♪ Take me home where the cuckoo cries ♪

♪ Take me home where the swallows fly high ♪

♪ High ♪

[phone rings]

[Michel] Hello, Mr Stevenson.

Yeah, Michel.

So, if I wanted to make a call

but I didn't want the person to know

where I was ringing from, what do I do?

♪ Oh ♪

♪ If you really want to ♪

Oh, damn.

I've put the new birthday cards with the wedding cards.

I can't concentrate.

It's all right, leave it. I'll do 'em.

why don't you have a cup of tea and...

[phone rings]

"Unknown."

It'll just be someone who wants to sell you something.

Hello?

Hello.

Who is it?

Frank?

Are you gonna speak to me?

Yeah.

Sorry.

I just wanted to let you know that we're all right,

me and Duke, and we miss you.

Hang on a minute.

I don't know how you've got the gall to ring me,

I honestly don't.

You lied to me, you faked your death, you faked Duke's death

and then you walked out on me.

I don't know how you can live with yourself.

I know, it was a terrible thing to do,

but I just did it on the spur of the moment.

I didn't think it through.

I just had a bit of a wobble, that's all.

The whole wedding thing

all we were doing was arguing all the time.

I was frightened of making another mistake.

Well, I've spent a lot of money on this wedding.

I know you're in Monaco, Frank.

How do you know that?

Never mind how I know.

Look, I didn't ring you to argue with you.

[she scoffs]

Well, what did you ring for, then?

To tell you that I miss you

and to ask you to come out here and be with me.

You can get someone in the shop.

You don't like working there anyway,

it stresses you out, and the weather in England is crap.

We could live here. It's fantastic.

Are you still there?

Where are you getting your money from?

I can't talk about it on the phone,

but I'll explain everything when you're here.

Hey, Duke!

Hey! Come here!

Come here!

Oh, Duke's really missing you.

He'd come and say hello,

but he can't tear himself away from his lounger.

I know what you did with the lottery ticket.

It's all on CCTV.

Really?

Right, well, you bring the CCTV footage with you

and we'll get rid of it together,

and we'll start our new life here, living it up.

I love you.

What hotel are you in?

Frank?

Frank?

What did he have to say for himself, then?

Erm just that he was sorry and, erm...

he's got cold feet.

What about if we got you some help?

I mean, your niece has done it before.

Only for an afternoon and Frank were here.

She's at college.

Please?

I'll ring her tonight and see

if she can have a couple of days off,

but you'd have to go through everything with us.

Of course I will.

[bells ringing]

Hello?

Is anybody here?

Er, hi. Can I help you?

Yes, I'm hoping so.

Are you Cheryl Armitage?

Er, yes. Who's asking?

I'm Denise Simpson from Mercury Millions.

I was just wondering if anybody else

has spoken to you yet,

but we have had a jackpot claimant

who says he bought his ticket in this shop.

-Really? -Mm-hm.

But we've also had a counter claim

from a syndicate who also say

they bought their ticket in this shop,

so I was just wondering

if I could have a quick look at your CCTV

footage to establish who the rightful owner is.

Right. Yeah, course.

Erm...

Er...

Oh, hang on a minute. I forgot. I, er...

I'm so sorry, but it conked out a couple of weeks ago.

Oh, right...

Well, that is going to make things difficult.

Yeah. Some sort of electrical problem.

My partner, Frank, rang straight away and...

Where is your partner now?

Oh, he's on holiday.

We're waiting on Chris to come round and fix it.

Mm...

Cheryl, you're supposed to have proper CCTV surveillance.

Oh, I know that, and, well, what can I do?

I mean, I'm sick of telling him.

He swore blind he'd be here last week,

but he never turned up.

Well, we do know that the winning ticket was in fact

bought in this shop.

Right. That is brilliant news!

It'll push our lottery sales sky-high.

Oh, no, 'cause the thing is that the claimant

doesn't want to go public, so...

Oh, right. That's a shame.

Do you remember a young lass coming in and winning £500?

No. Not really, no.

She's from the local dog kennels, Woodvale.

Yeah, yeah, I know the kennels and,

yeah, they do come in here

and sometimes they buy a lottery ticket,

but I have no recollection of them winning anything,

so I'm really sorry.

If there's anything else I can do...

Well, someone else might want to come in and talk to you

and they might want to have a little look at your machine,

but I think that's all for now.

Right. Yeah, well, keep me posted

and let me know if I ran shout about it.

I will do, but I wouldn't say anything to anyone for now.

Thank you very much.

-Thank you. -See ya.

See ya.

It's great about someone winning the lottery from this shop.

Yeah, I know, but we've not to say anything, so...

Shh.

I didn't know the CCTV were broke.

It's always the way, in't it?

Whenever you need something, it's never working.

What were you thinking?

We never let him off the lead, do we?

Really?

I thought, if he just had a bit of a run,

it'd help with weight management.

There's nothing wrong with his weight!

He's just got little legs!

No, he's clearly at least a kilo overweight.

No, he's not!

Who are you to say that?

You're not a vet!

What she meant was...

No, I know, but I've got eyes and...

Roxy!

Well, I won't be bringing him here again

to be insulted by the likes of you!

-You can't say that to her. -We've been travelling

all day from the Maldives and we've come straight here

'cause we were really excited about seeing our Howard.

Are you listening to me, young lady?

Yeah, of course I am.

I don't think you realise how serious this is.

-We do. -I do. I do.

And are you going to say something,

stood there like a wet lettuce?

What do you want me to say?

Look, at least they've found him.

Yeah.

Where's Howard?

Seems like the people that found him are not very nice.

Oh, no.

Lionel, you've got to help me find him!

We've got to find him!

It's all right, yes, yes. We'll get it sorted.

They want 3 £1,000 reward.

What? That's mental!

£1,000?

We should call the police!

No, you can't do that. They'll hurt him.

No, no!

We'll give them the money.

They want it in cash.

"In a plastic carrier bag in the dog poo bin in the park."

Hello!

I was knocking on t'staffroom door, but no-one answered.

Is everything all right?

Not really, no.

Oh, dear.

And I've got more bad news.

[suspenseful orchestral music]

Maybe we should move further away from the bin.

[suspenseful music intensifies]

Hey!

If you hurt him, I'll kill ya!

Where's Howard? Where is he?

Come back here!

-Hey! -Scum!

-Come here! -Where's Howard?

We've given you the money! Where is he?

This is all your fault!

If you hadn't let him off the lead,

none of this would have happened!

Where is he?

[dog barking]

Oh, my little chucky pie!

Oh, come to Mummy!

-Oh! -Oh, little man!

What did they do to you?

-Who's a good man? -Oh, Mummy's here.

I'm never going to let you go again.

Oh, thank you, God.

-Hey, Taj. -Hiya. Is Cheryl in?

Er, they can't all come in here!

Last time, one of them weed by the doom

I had to mop all the front out.

Oh, so you admit we've been in the shop before?

You're not going to lie about that, then?

Er...

Taj, can you put the kettle on and have a tea break, love?

Sure. Do you want one?

I'll have mine after.

So, how much has Frank promised ya?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes, you do.

You lied to the lottery woman.

We've bought our lottery tickets here

every week for the past three years.

I'm not saying you haven't.

And we won!

You heard the jackpot noise go off

and when I came back to say I thought he'd made a mistake,

you said he were at the vet's, only he wasn't.

He were halfway to Monaco with our winnings!

Yeah, it's a bit of a coincidence

that your CCTV camera's not working.

Don't you get it?

He's dumped you, so why would you cover for him?

I'm not.

[bell ringing]

Hey. We got Howard back.

-Oh, fantastic. -That's brilliant.

Do you feel better now?

Oh, so much better.

Just got to get this sorted now.

So, how come you've changed your mind, Cheryl?

Is he still in Monaco?

I've no idea.

You could look at his iPad again.

If he ditches that phone, we'll have no idea where he is.

Could bugger off to Barbados.

Or the Caribbean.

Barbados is in the Caribbean, Gemma.

Well, how am I supposed to know that?

He could go anywhere.

That's why we need to get over there fast,

before he flits somewhere else.

Well, why don't you, then?

Because we've got no money!

-Frank's got it all! -And you promised to help us!

Yeah, well, I checked my bank account

and I can't afford to.

He's got my money, too.

-You're a liar! -You've got money.

You've got a shop.

He's not going to give you it back, Cheryl.

-He's gone. -I know.

And I'm not a liar.

I've lost a lot of money on this wedding, too.

And what I do with my money is my business, young lady!

The only chance you've got of getting him

or your money back is if we all work together.

We stand more of a chance of finding him.

What if you told the lottery woman the truth,

lend us the money to get us tickets

and we pay you it all back,

plus your 17,000, as soon as we get us money off Frank?

How do I know you're going to get it?

How do you know we aren't?

If you just do what you promised and buy us flights,

it'd kind of stack the odds in your favour.

And if you don't help us,

I don't know how we're going to afford to get over there.

I'll help you for a percentage of the win.

What?

I thought you didn't have any money.

No. I've got investments that I'd lose money on

if I cashed 'em in. I am taking a huge financial risk here.

10%.

[All] No, Keeley!

That's 52.7 million for doing nothing.

For helping you.

Look, isn't it better to have a small amount of something

than a big amount of nothing?

Right now, we can't even afford the flights over there.

No.

Come on, let's go.

Fine. I'll have two scratchcards, then.

-No, you won't! -Keeley, come on!

What?

I once won 200 quid on a scratchcard!

I don't care. Go on.

-Keeley, come on! -Keeley.

All right, all right!

I made you one anyway. Oh.

I couldn't find the sweeteners.

Right, that's that, then. End of.

-Shut up, Jake! -Well, he's right, in't he?

No, he's not right. How much were them flights?

Oh, I don't remember. 270, summat like that.

And we've got to find somewhere to stay.

And hotels in Monaco aren't cheap.

Then we have to have money for food.

Oh, yeah, we definitely need food.

Come on. We're walking and we'd better get back soon

or we'll be out of a job.

Look, I know we can get this money together, we've got to.

How?

Tooth fairy's going to bring it, is she?

We can get a loan.

No, Keeley!

Short-term, 500 each, pay it back straight away.

Oh, I can't do that. Me nana'd go mad.

You'd end up paying a fortune.

Anyway, he's probably somewhere else by now.

He's not going to hang around.

He is a gambler, Jake.

There's no better place than Monaco.

Vegas.

Yeah, but his phone's in Monaco,

so my moneys on him being there, right?

Right, so you're willing to risk getting yerself into debt

without even knowing for sure where he is. Proper mental.

Well, can find out easy enough.

Flat's there.

Duke's key's in t'glove compartment.

Come on, come on!

Oh, I feel a bit sick.

Don't you be throwing up!

You stay out here and keep watch.

Give us two whistles if you hear anything.

You know this is breaking and entering?

I tell you what, I won't say anything if you don't.

Don't touch anything you don't have to.

Hopefully it'll still be on the top.

-Check those papers. -I'm not touchin' nothin'.

Keeley, you should have gloves on.

Bingo!

Hi, is that flat number five?

You frightened me to death!

We're just bringing the dog back.

Just here to read the metre, love.

I'll be five minutes.

Oh, well, I wouldn't go in there.

No, he's an Irish wolfhound.

He's really big and he can be a bit snappy

with men he don't know.

You're best to come back when she's got him chained up.

Can I leave you with that?

They can fill it in themselves. It's all online.

Er, nice to meet you!

Find my iPhone.

Where are you, Frank?

Yes!

-Monaco. -He's still there.

I knew it. I told ya, didn't I?

Yeah, but he's moved, though.

Well, who cares?

He's bound to move. He's not going to stand still, is he?

He's still there and that is all we need to know.

We have got to find that money.

Yeah, well, I'm not risking it.

Oh, big mistake!

I can't.

I'm sorry.

-That's a shame. -I've got to go.

Oh. Are you all right getting home on your own?

Cos I've got to get to solicitor's in 20 minutes.

Can you give me a lift?

I need to be somewhere.

Yeah, but I'm going now.

Oi. Make sure you wipe everything

and leave everything as you found it.

Yes, Sherlock.

Three bags full, Sherlock. Go.

Oh, yes. Look at that, Duke.

Yeah. Eh? Come on.

I'll take you down the beach later and you can have a swim.

Is that an English dog?

Irish wolfhound.

This is Duke. I brought him with me on a private plane.

He's pretty spectacular.

Yes, he is. And he's my boy, aren't you?

Eh?

Aren't you? Eh?

Yes, you are!

Wherever I go, he goes.

Well, they say dogs are man's best friend.

And it's true.

He'd have the arm off anyone who tried

to have one over on me.

I'm Frank, by the way.

I know who you are.

I think the best thing you can do

is make an appointment with the manager and she'll...

Thing is, I need the money now.

It would be next week before we could

get you an appointment

and I can't guarantee that you'll be able to have the loan

or the overdraft facility.

[mellow orchestral music]

Oh, hiya. It's Colette from Woodvale Kennels.

-Colette? -Yeah.

Mr Fairburn's on his way,

if you'd just like to take a seat.

Thanks.

[ominous music]

Colette.

Colette!

Sorry, I was just...

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump.

Thank you so much for seeing me, Mr Fairburn.

-Richard. -Richard.

I want you to know that I wouldn't have come here

if I had any other way of...

I just want you to know

that I never normally do this sort of thing.

I would never ring a client or ask for...

It's fine, honestly.

Do you have your bank details?

Yeah. Yeah, they're here.

Thanks.

And I want you to know,

I'll be able to pay you every single penny back.

It'll probably be next week and I can pay you some interest.

Er, sorry, I just have to concentrate

so I don't cock this up.

It's just for the flight and hotel.

Are you sure 500's enough?

Yeah.

Yeah, 500's fantastic.

Okay, there you go. That's gone.

That should be in your account, well, now.

That's amazin'.

Thank you.

I can't tell you how much this means to me.

It's not a problem.

Are you okay?

Yeah, it's just, erm,

nobody's ever done anything like this for me before.

Honestly, it's not a big deal.

Do you want to go somewhere and we can, er...?

[Colette sighs]

I get it.

Now you want something for your money.

No, I just meant we could go for a cup of tea, that's all.

You seem upset.

But it doesn't matter, if you want to get back.

I'm sorry, I thought, erm...

I don't know what I thought.

But, oh, I do have to get back.

I only get 40 minutes for me lunch, but, erm,

I could meet you for a drink one evening after work.

Yeah, that would be nice.

Right, so I'm booking the tickets and checking us

in at the same time, right?

Right.

So where'd you get your money from?

Me nana gave me my mam's old jewellery

that she'd been keeping for me and I sold the lot.

I know that's what she'd want me to do.

Oh, so you got another loan, then?

Yeah.

And what are we doing about Jake?

Yeah, where the hell is he?

He's gone to his solicitor's,

but he's definitely not coming with us.

He don't want to get into any debt

and he hasn't got a passport anyway, so...

Right, that's four flights to Nice

with the transfers booked!

We're going!

We're going!

Oh, well done!

-I can't believe it. -Hiya.

Hiya.

-Hiya. -Hi.

Oh, Colette, I need your passport.

I'm checkin' us in.

Oh, erm...

I'll check meself in.

I thought we were booking separately?

Er, no, we wanted to sit together

on the plane and I've got us that special deal

with the transfers, so I needed to get on with it.

I've bought us the tickets.

You've bought the tickets?

Keep yer hair on!

What's wrong with that?

Everything!

I wanted to buy me own!

Jesus, I don't know what your problem is.

It's a big problem, Gemma!

You don't know anything about my life

and the things that happened to me.

[door knocking]

Police!

I left Newcastle for a reason.

I'm supposed to be at me uni now.

How come he's not getting arrested?

Cos if I'm breaking the law, then surely he is as well!

So I changed me name and moved here

to try and get away from it all.

So, if you're not Colette, then who are you?

Jessica Lowe.

-Jessica Lowe? -That's just weird.

Did you have to go to prison?

No, erm...

I had to pick rubbish up, empty dog poo bins in the park.

Nothing's changed, then.

I did a two-month course in dog grooming,

applied all over the place.

Woodvale was the only kennel that got back to us, so...

So what do you want us to call you?

Colette.

That's me name now.

You don't look like a Jessica.

[phone chimes]

[soft music]

So what we doing about your flight?

[Roxy sighs]

Gemma, she's just said she got done

for being a prostitute.

Well, it's nowt to write home about.

I mean, we've all got to live with stuff.

Look, it says here, for £160,

you can change your name on the booking.

I can't afford that.

We don't even know how much the hotel's going to cost and...

The cheapest I could find is 180 euros each.

See, that's too much.

Can I just get me money back for me ticket?

No, the flights are non-refundable.

Hey.

We'll figure something out.

Oh, there's nothing to figure out. No.

You guys go.

Someone needs to stay here, keep Graham sweet anyway.

Me and Jake are going to be here.

I've got dogs booked in.

I'd be letting people down.

No, it's too complicated. It's too expensive.

I'm not going.

Eze is the most desirable area to live.

It's so quiet.

And you think they'd accept 7.2?

What do you think, Duke? Eh?

-I think he likes it! -Yeah!

Let me show you the garage.

Fantastic.

Yeah, he's an Irish Wolfhound.

I've got to get him out of the hotel. He's going stir-crazy.

Sure, he's a big dog.

Yeah, I can't take him in the casino.

Hey, did you know that they have people watching you?

In the casino?

Yeah.

They have everything on surveillance as well.

They have to, there's so much cheating that goes on.

No, I mean, actually following you even outside the casino,

watching everything you do.

That's a bit strange.

I've never heard of that before.

You should be careful.

You're new in town and splashing money around.

Word gets out.

Hmm.

I'll bear that in mind.

Well, love, I like the look of the house. Can I see inside?

Not with the dog. I'm sorry.

What if I told you I can buy this house tomorrow,

if you like?

Cash.

Will that change your mind?

[upbeat music]

Lap of luxury.

Fantastic.

Eh?

It's not so much a bath, is it, as a swimming pool, eh?

Oh, you found the choccies, then.

You can forget the choccies.

Here, sniff that.

Brandy. Yeah.

Very nice.

I'll see you later, then.

Ah.

You've got Jake, Theo and Colette.

Everything's cleaned down and all the meds are sorted.

This is not good enough, Keeley.

I'm gonna have to tell Alice at Four Paws about this.

She needs people she can rely on

and I've been singing your praises.

Well, what do you expect us to do, Graham?

Just let him get away with it?

We came to see you and told you that

we might be having a couple of days off.

Sure you don't want a bit?

-No, thanks. -Yeah I'm still here.

Are you still puking?

Yes, I know we should've given you more notice,

but, like you said, Graham, sometimes things

just happen so quickly you've got to go with it.

Oh, there, is it. 21.

Graham, I've got to go.

Yeah, sorry. Bye.

Bye-bye-bye.

He is going mental.

Right, I need a bar 'cause I've got to get pissed,

otherwise I'll never get on this plane.

Don't you think we should check in first?

-I need a toilet. -Again?

Do you want me to be sick on the floor here?

Oh, this is gonna be great.

What is up with ya?

I'm pregnant, all right?

I knew it!

I'm going to be sick.

[sick splashing]

I can't believe she's going to be a mam.

Wow.

Hiya.

-Hiya. -Hiya.

Hey, what happened to you yesterday afternoon?

Oh, I got held up.

What time are we going?

Well, I'm not. And, as far as I knew, neither were you.

I changed my mind.

You can't. It's too late.

The others are already at the airport.

What?

No way!

I went to Liverpool to get my passport!

I've got to get what belongs to us,

otherwise I stand no chance of getting joint custody of Eva.

But the flight's at half 11.

You'd have needed to set off half an hour ago.

See you in a bit. Can you come with me, please?

-Yeah, all right! -Bye, Theo!

Yeah. Leave it all to me!

Great.

[Sat Nav] In one mile, take exit 17 to Doncaster Airport.

Slow down, you'll end up with a speeding ticket.

Shit!

No, I'd nearly done it and the website's crashed!

It'll come back,

just turn your phone off and back on again.

Whose is the credit card?

It's me mam's. I borrowed it.

Borrowed it?

Does she know?

Oh!

Don't get too drunk. They won't let you on the plane.

Oh!

I just need something to take the edge off of it.

And I thought you were supposed to be on a diet?

I'm on me holidays.

It is not a holiday, Gemma,

and you've already had two massive sausage rolls.

Ugh!

Will you stop talking about food?

Ugh...

So, I thought that you and Sam had finished.

We've got back in friends, sort of.

Paid for me flights.

Oh!

Right, we're boarding. Best get through security.

Come on, then.

Come on.

Oh!

[Keeley giggles]

-Come on! -Woo!

Keeley!

I'll ring Jake when we get through to the other side.

-You won't have to bother. -Keeley!

He's here!

Keeley!

Oh, my God!

He said he wasn't coming!

And Colette's with him!

What the hell?

I'm coming with ya.

Ah, fantastic!

I just thought I'd fill up the other half of me glass.

Yeah, he paid the 160 quid

and we changed the name on me ticket.

All right, you two, get a room!

-Sorry. -Sorry!

Right, we'd better go through. We're holding people up.

Oh, now I'm so pissed off I'm not coming with ya.

Aww, you can still come!

No, I can't.

But find Frank and come back with our ticket, all right?

We will!

We will.

And you keep Graham sweet,

just in case we need our jobs to come back to

in case all this goes tits up!

I'll do me best.

Right, keep me posted, okay?

Of course. We'll send you piccies and everything.

-Bye! -Bye, Colette.

[soft piano music]

["Glazin'" by Jacuzzi Boys]

♪ Sugar in my hair meltin' everywhere in the sunshine ♪

-Look at that view! -Look how blue the sea is!

♪ Watch the sun go down while my face starts to crystallise ♪

Oh, my God, this is bloody amazin'!

♪ You could be the one, you could be the one ♪

Woo!

Which one's yours, Gamma?

They've got actual, real palm trees!

Jake, Jake, look at the ship over there!

That massive one!

This is insane!

Are you shitting me?

Have you seen the size of that boat?

Oh, wow, it's boilin' hot!

It's beautiful.

Seriously.

Ah, this is sick, man.

It's like heaven on Earth.

Right, photo for Colette. Come on, I promised her.

Ah, I wish she was with us. Me, too.

She's going to be so pissed off.

Everybody say Monaco!

[All] Monaco!

Right, let's check in and dump us stuff.

Yeah.

This is amazing.

-Merci! -Merci!

Merci.

Oh, wow!

Aw, Gemma, look at this.

See, I told you I got a nice hotel.

Bonjour!

Hiya, do you speak English?

[upbeat music]

He could be in any one of these hotels.

Where do you stay when you've got 27 million?

Dunno. Where do we start?

We're going to have to split up.

I'll go with you.

Right, well, we'll start with this one.

Right, text me.

We'll try these.

♪ You know you gotta take it for a stroll ♪

Oh, my God!

Look at it!

A room?

Bonjour. Hi. Erm...

I think my friend, Frank,

-might be staying at his hotel. -Right.

He came in yesterday or the day before.

We're not exactly sure.

But he's got a big dog.

Big dog.

His name's Frank Stevenson,

and he's got a lot of money

and he said that this was the best hotel in Monte Carlo, so.

Perhaps you could ring him.

Yeah, or you could just tell me if he's staying here,

Claude.

I'm sorry, I can't give you that information.

Oh, go on.

No, really, I'll get into trouble.

He's got a big dog. You can't miss him.

It's an Irish wolfhound.

Do you understand?

Perfectly.

If you've had any English single men check into the hotel

in the last couple of days with a big dog,

could you please just nod your head?

Is that a yes?

Or a no?

Oh, they're bloody hopeless.

We don't allow dogs over seven kilos in the hotel.

Why not?

It's the rule. Sorry.

What a weird rule.

What a doylum.

Oh, it's hopeless. We're never going to find him.

Well, we can't give up now.

We've only just got here.

I say we get summat to eat, go back to the hotel

and check the rest out tomorrow.

We should've thought this through before we started spending

money on flights and hotels.

All right, Jake.

I'm just saying.

Well, it can't be that hard.

I mean, where's he going to go with Duke?

The vet's, to get some more Metacam

'cause he left his other bottle with us.

Yeah, you're right.

Oh, you're a bloody genius, Keeley!

Right, let's check out all the vet's in Monaco.

Yeah.

There could be thousands of them!

Oh, hurry up!

-Come on! -Come on!

My name is Keeley, je voudrais...

[speaking in foreign language]

Sorry?

Oh, I was wondering if you could help me.

My dad, Frank, he brought my dog Duke...

Do you speak English?

Have you had any Irish wolfhounds

brought in with a dicky hip?

[Jake] Okay, yeah, I'll hold.

Unfortunately, he's lost his phone,

so there's no way of contacting him,

and I'm really worried about him.

Okay, yeah, thanks very much. 'cause he's on Metacam.

"Dicky" as in bad hip.

No, no, Metacam.

Hi, my name's Jake and I'm just calling up

'cause I'm looking for my dog, Duke.

Okay, bye. Yeah, he's got a problem hip

and I think my dad brought him to you.

All right, thank you for your time. Merci beaucoup.

-This is bloody hopeless. -Ugh!

Oh, hiya. Yeah, I'm still holding on.

That's right, Duke from England.

Bingo!

-Oh, my God! -No way.

What time are you open until?

Oh, that's mint.

Yeah. Yeah, thank you!

Oh!

[group cheers]

Bonjour. Comment puis-je vous aider?

Oh, no.

Do you speak English?

Of course.

Oh. Hiya. I rang up about half an hour ago.

I think it was you that I spoke to

and you said my dad had brought my Dukie in to see you.

Yes. We love him.

Oh, so do we.

He's adorable. He jumped up and almost knocked me over.

Oh, he does that!

Erm, so my dad's only gone and lost his prescription.

Oh, we, erm, gave him it directly.

That's what he was saying, he lost his medication.

He thought he left it in the park.

Yeah. You couldn't hear him properly, remember?

Oh, [fingers click] yeah, that's right.

The signal on his phone was terrible.

He might have been ringing from inside the hotel.

Well, all the hotels here have WiFi

and the Hotel Metropole definitely has,

it's one of the best hotels in Monaco.

We can give you some more,

but, I'm sorry, there is a charge.

It doesn't matter. We've got a card.

Thanks so much, you're a life-saver.

Thanks. Bye!

-Yes! -Metropole!

Hotel Metropole!

[lively music]

Oh, my God!

Look how the other half live.

Look at that chandelier and them flowers.

Will you stop looking around?

This is so beautiful.

We'll stay here when we get our money.

If we our get our money.

Jake, we are definitely getting our money back.

We're so nearly there.

We know he's staying in this hotel.

Au revoir.

Guys, over here.

Oh, hello. Do you speak English?

Oui.

So, my dad's staying with you.

Mon pere.

Mon pere.

Frank Stevenson?

Do you understand?

-Yes. -He's English.

He's got a big dog.

Yeah, that's right.

An Irish wolfhound called Duke.

And we've brought his medication.

He's got a dodgy hip.

The dog.

Not me dad.

I can take it and have it sent up to his suite for you.

Oh...

Oh, I think you wanted to see him, didn't you, Roxy?

Yeah, 'cause it's his birthday today.

Yeah.

Her dad, not the dog.

And she's got him a present.

Oh, that's so nice!

I'll let him know you're here.

Oh, oh!

Oh, well, it's sort of a surprise that I'm here.

We've actually come all the way from England.

You're not all his children, are you?

-No. -Yes. We're cousins.

Sort of.

I'm his stepson. He married my mum.

After he divorced mine.

[group laughs]

And it's his birthday,

a big one with a zero at the end of it,

and, erm, we just wanted to make the effort.

Que voulez-vous que je fasse. Alors, je suis pas...

Could we just go up to his suite?

Not really.

I could get into some big trouble for that.

But, I have an idea.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hello, Mr Stevenson.

I have an immobilier here at our reception and...

Who?

I wasn't expecting anyone.

Yes, he knows you weren't expecting him,

but a spectacular property has just come up for sale

and he's brought a brochure with him

and, ho-ho, it's absolutely beautiful,

and he doesn't want you to miss out.

All right, just give me five and I'll be there.

Duke!

He's on his way down.

Go wait over for him by the lift area.

Thank you!

Thank you!

Au revoir. Bonne journee a vous.

Come on Duke, eh?

You come with me.

We are going to go and have a look at a brochure.

Yeah. Come on. Come on.

Right, if he's got Duke, you three grab Frank, yeah?

Oh, come on...

Oh!

[group shouting]

Come to Keeley, Duke!

Come on!

You're not going to get away with it, Frank!

Ugh, shitting bugger!

Steps, come on!

[Roxy groans]

I can't. You go.

All right. Well, tell us what floor he's on.

[upbeat music]