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1
00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,760
They're in that same spot again.
2
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,440
I've definitely found something.
3
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,160
There's something going on.
4
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:16,960
Is it ready?
5
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,560
Lights on.
6
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,320
Right.
7
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,760
Give me the control.
8
00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:26,400
All right. Gently does it.
9
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,800
I'm lifting off in-a
three, two, one.
10
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:36,960
Up she goes.
11
00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,400
How do you make it steady,
12
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,200
stop it going up?
13
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,960
Just let go of the joystick.
14
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:51,520
Still going up.
15
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,040
Yep. Just try flicking it down.
16
00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,040
Still going up, is it?
17
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:00,480
Yep.
18
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,760
Yeah, that's really high now.
How high is it supposed to go?
19
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:05,920
Well, how am I supposed to know?
It's not responding.
20
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:07,440
How do you make it come down?
21
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,160
Here, let me see.
22
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,640
Can you see it? Only just.
23
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,680
No. No, I'm losing it.
It's gone.
24
00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,680
No... Yeah, yeah, there.
25
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,280
No.
26
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,080
No, I can't see it.
27
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,800
Brilliant.
Absolutely brilliant!
28
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,520
So, that's it, is it?
29
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,600
It just keeps going
until it's in orbit?
30
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,080
How long do the batteries last?
31
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,000
20 minutes.
32
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,600
I thought you said you could fly
one of these things?
33
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,200
I never said that.
34
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,080
Well,
why did you keep letting it go up?
35
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,280
I was trying everything.
It just wasn't responding.
36
00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,200
It just kept going up and up and up.
37
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,400
Well, you can tell that to
the insurance company.
38
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,200
Why me? Because, Paul,
you're the one I thought said
39
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,680
could fly one of these things.
40
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,760
- Whoa!
41
00:02:02,216 --> 00:02:06,545
42
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:39,960
Did you see QI this week?
43
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,520
Yeah.
44
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,240
Never thought I'd say this
but I think I prefer Toksvig to Fry.
45
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:46,920
Controversial.
46
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,280
Well, don't you think she is better?
47
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,040
I'm not prepared to stick my neck
out that far, mate.
48
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,880
She's certainly doing
a good job.
49
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,280
Big shoes to fill, literally.
50
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:58,920
Why literally?
51
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,240
Stephen Fry has got big feet.
52
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,040
But she doesn't literally have
to wear his shoes.
53
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,480
Well, actually, they've got a rule.
They... Who's this?
54
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,760
All right?
55
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,120
Morning.
Metal detectors, are you?
56
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,200
You could say that.
57
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,480
Are you one of them?
One of the solar people.
58
00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,040
Tree clearance.
Getting rid of nuisance trees.
59
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:23,720
That's quite a slogan.
60
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,520
Your life must be filled with joy.
61
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:26,800
Eh?
62
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,440
Nothing.
Not getting rid of this one, though.
63
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,880
Yeah, this one's going. Yeah.
64
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,280
What? Why?
65
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,320
What nuisance is this one causing?
66
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:35,880
Shadow.
67
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,880
One small patch?
68
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:43,160
Yeah, you see, the sun,
see, it travels through the sky
69
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:46,800
and that patch covers half
an acre in a day.
70
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:51,120
That's a lot of sunlight all
wasted on a tree. See ya.
71
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,200
That's depressing.
72
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,920
Shouldn't we do something about it?
73
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,200
Like what? Save the tree?
74
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,600
Well, shouldn't we?
75
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,880
I mean, we don't want the tree
to be cut down.
76
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,960
No. So we should probably try
and save it.
77
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,600
So how do you save a tree?
78
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,440
Well, traditionally, you chain
yourself to it, don't you?
79
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,760
One of us chains ourself to the tree
and the other one goes
80
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,720
and gets the press.
81
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,480
Yeah.
82
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,040
I don't know.
83
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,760
Yes, it's a bit embarrassing.
84
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,000
Yeah.
85
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,520
Bat box.
86
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:04,880
What's that?
87
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,120
Bat box is what
we need to save that tree.
88
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,600
Whack a bat box up there,
bats start roosting.
89
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,160
Boom. They can't touch it.
90
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,480
Yeah?
91
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,480
Yeah. It's the same
as great crested newts.
92
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,520
You can have a muddy puddle,
essentially,
93
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,760
but as soon as one of those slippery
bastards rocks up,
94
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,600
it becomes a Site of Special
Scientific Interest.
95
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,920
Scourge of the developer.
96
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,320
All right, well,
you should get on to that, then.
97
00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,520
Build a bat box.
98
00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,080
Uh. Maybe I will.
99
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:33,880
Oh, I wish I had a shed.
100
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,440
Oh, yeah. Sorry, mate.
I forgot.
101
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,480
What did you do with your tools?
102
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,800
Well, they're in crates
in the garage going rusty.
103
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,720
What, you mean you didn't wipe
104
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,920
'em down with an oily rag
before you put 'em away?
105
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,080
Well, yeah, obviously.
I was being dramatic.
106
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:54,640
Oh.
107
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:56,760
I see.
108
00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,120
What you got?
109
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,920
Carpet stair rod holder.
110
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,600
Yeah. I've had a couple of them.
111
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,280
Must have been a flight of stairs
here somewhere.
112
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,080
Hello?
113
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,760
Toni?
114
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:38,160
Hi, Kate. What are you doing here?
115
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,000
I don't know which is
the front door.
116
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,240
Come down this end.
117
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,000
Oh, don't I need to say something?
118
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,000
Like, to be invited on board.
119
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,000
You're thinking of vampires.
120
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,120
Oh.
121
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,120
Ooh!
122
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,240
Oops. Thanks.
123
00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:06,080
This place is amazing. Thanks.
It was my grandparents'.
124
00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,680
No way.
How long have you lived on it?
125
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,840
About three years.
And it makes my dad heave.
126
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,720
He hasn't even got this far.
127
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,560
He doesn't even like looking
at it from dry land.
128
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,680
You know he's only ever
seen the sea once.
129
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,400
He told me that.
Don't expect beach holidays.
130
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,680
I'm not expecting anything.
131
00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,440
I'm going to move out of my dad's
flat.
132
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,040
I'm going to find my own place.
133
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,160
Why? He likes you being there.
Yeah, I know.
134
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,680
That's why I've stayed so long.
135
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,840
He's afraid I'm going to disappear
again,
136
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:37,480
which is I haven't told him yet.
137
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,440
So why are you telling me?
138
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,400
I just want you to know that
I won't be around all the time.
139
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:43,760
I won't be in your way.
140
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:47,520
You've never been in my way.
That's not fair, Kate.
141
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,320
Don't do anything on my account,
because I don't even know
142
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,200
if your dad
and I are still seeing each other.
143
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,680
Please don't break up with my dad.
He thinks the world of you.
144
00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:58,880
Kate... He let Maggie stay
because he's a kind and decent guy.
145
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,040
Did he send you here? Yeah.
146
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,960
He said, "Nip down and tell Toni
that I'm a kind and decent guy."
147
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,160
No, of course not.
148
00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,680
I just felt bad because I'm the one
who let her in the flat.
149
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,120
I didn't know who she was.
150
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,400
Look, Kate. I... I don't want to
discuss it with you.
151
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,720
Your dad and I will either sort
it out or we won't
152
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:17,560
but I don't need advice or
character references, thanks.
153
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:20,120
I know he's a decent guy,
that's why I'm going out with him.
154
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,480
So you've not broken up?
155
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,120
Shut up, please! I don't want to
talk about it with you.
156
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,160
I feel like I'm back at sixth form
talking about boyfriends.
157
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,840
I'm too old for this.
158
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:30,200
All right. I'll back off.
159
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,240
I've said my bit.
160
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,400
I just worry about him, you know?
161
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,640
I know.
162
00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:39,200
Huh! I love your ship.
163
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,120
It's a boat, really.
164
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,720
I love it. I'll see ya.
165
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,720
Steve,
can I find a safe home for this?
166
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,080
What's that, a porcupine?
167
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,360
Porcupine? You serious?
It's a hedgehog.
168
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,960
I thought hedgehogs were flat.
169
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:30,200
The squashed, dead ones are flat.
The live ones are... spherical.
170
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,960
All right, Richard Attenborough.
171
00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,480
It's David.
172
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:36,240
Oh, I'm sorry.
Been calling you Andy.
173
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,360
Grab this for me, mate?
174
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,840
Oh, sorry, mate. I'm not actually...
175
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,480
Come on! It's killing me.
176
00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,640
Hello.
177
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,480
Hey.
178
00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,200
What's in the crate?
179
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,280
Please step away from the crate.
180
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,800
Kate came to see me,
did she tell you?
181
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,360
To your place? What for?
182
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,440
To tell me what a swell
prince of a guy you are.
183
00:12:22,560 --> 00:12:23,600
I'm not that great.
184
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,640
That's what I said.
185
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:26,960
She come aboard? Yep.
186
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,960
Did she puke? No.
187
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,360
Turn a pallid yellow? No.
188
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,920
Not hereditary, then.
189
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:40,200
The reason I let Maggie stay
was cos
190
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,320
I don't have any feelings
for her anymore.
191
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,360
I could just treat her as a guest,
but with you,
192
00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:48,760
I'd want it to be just us.
193
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,960
OK. That's quite sweet.
194
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,320
Yeah? Shall I go on?
195
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,680
See what happens.
196
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,000
Well, that was it, really.
197
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,440
Kate's got her own room.
She wouldn't disturb us.
198
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,440
Well, that's not it, is it?
199
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,680
I mean, the thing is,
would we disturb her?
200
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,000
Huh?
201
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,320
You know?
202
00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,880
Not really.
203
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,000
Well, it's a question of acoustics.
204
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,920
Acoustics?
205
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,840
Oh, God, you know, soundproofing.
206
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:28,520
The thought of Kate hearing
any goings-on.
207
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:30,040
Don't laugh.
208
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,600
It's hard enough as it is, you know
what I mean, it's awkward.
209
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,440
So what are you thinking, egg boxes?
210
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,560
I was thinking egg boxes, actually,
211
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,160
cos there's a stack of 'em
in the warehouse.
212
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,400
Big sheets of 'em.
213
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:48,560
I... I can't tell her to leave.
I just can't do it.
214
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:53,240
You know what?
215
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,960
I think she might be ready to go
but she thinks you'll be upset.
216
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,920
What makes you think that?
217
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,400
She told me.
218
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,720
She told me she was going to start
looking for a place of her own.
219
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:06,200
Where? Here?
220
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,800
Oh, close by. Yeah.
221
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,000
Oh, well, that's... that's
different.
222
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,880
I mean, if she wants to,
223
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,920
I mean, I just didn't want
it to come from me, but...
224
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,080
I could help her to look
for a place, if it's around here,
225
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,520
she doesn't have much stuff,
she doesn't need much space.
226
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,120
And then what?
227
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,680
You could move in, if you want.
228
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,800
OK. Do you want?
229
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:35,760
I do.
230
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,200
I'm not selling my boat, though.
231
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,600
You don't have to.
232
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,400
I'll be able to find a tenant,
although it is very small.
233
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:47,960
Well, you know, let's see if Kate
can find somewhere for herself
234
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,800
and then you could
advertise for a tenant.
235
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,400
That's probably
the obvious thing to do.
236
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,640
Yes. Yes, I think so.
237
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,440
Cheers, Ray.
238
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,600
Phone!
239
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,680
The thing is, there's this house.
240
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,480
I found this house
and I think it could be amazing.
241
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,600
Who's that? Da-da.
Hello?
242
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,600
The thing is there's this house.
243
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,600
Are you on your way back?
You on the way home?
244
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:40,000
I found this house
and I think it could be amazing.
245
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,360
Andy?
246
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,880
I found this amazing place.
247
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,760
Andy?
I've found a house. I found a house.
248
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,560
Let's listen to Daddy
talking to himself.
249
00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,360
I found this house, Becky.
I found this...
250
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,800
Becky, I found a house. I've...
251
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,080
I've found this house and I think it
could be within our means.
252
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,680
There's a lot of work to do on it
but I could do the work myself.
253
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,680
In fact, I think
that's what I want to do.
254
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,760
The only thing is I've quit my job.
255
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:08,880
I have to tell you at this point,
though, Becky...
256
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,520
Not at this point, it's stupid.
257
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:15,080
I have to come clean, Becky.
I quit my job.
258
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,960
Shit. Shit, shit, shit,
shit, shit, shit.
259
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,640
Hello?
260
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,440
Anybody home?
261
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:34,280
What?
262
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:44,920
Hello?
263
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,520
Have a nice day?
264
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,040
And my mum knew?
265
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,880
Yeah.
266
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,600
That doesn't make it all right.
267
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,960
Half makes it all right.
No, it doesn't.
268
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,640
You wait till you see this house.
That will make it all right.
269
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,400
So tell me what it's like. No.
270
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,680
I want to know your first
impression.
271
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,640
But you have to imagine what
it could be,
272
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,640
so don't look at the holes
in the roof or the broken window.
273
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,120
So my second impression?
274
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,360
Yeah. I want to know your second
impression.
275
00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:21,080
How can we afford a house?
276
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,800
It's an auction
and there's no reserve,
277
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,560
so we just take what we've got
and bid what we can afford.
278
00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,120
We haven't got anything.
279
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,520
We've got some savings.
280
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,200
Andy, we've got ten grand.
281
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,320
That buys a deposit on a flat,
not a three-bedroom cottage in
282
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,960
half an acre of land.
283
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,520
Well,
if you don't try, we'll never know.
284
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:38,880
You're a dreamer.
285
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,680
You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one.
286
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,120
I hope some day...
I get it.
287
00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,560
Imagine.
288
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,000
Oh, Andy,
what have you fallen in love with?
289
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,480
It's beautiful, isn't it?
I mean, it could be.
290
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,720
Who's going to do the work? You?
291
00:17:58,720 --> 00:17:59,960
Yeah.
292
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,440
Single-handed? Single-handed, baby.
That's what I want to do.
293
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,160
I'll be a full-time hobbyist.
294
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,160
I'll take Stan to school,
I'll pick him up
295
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,840
and in-between I'll build us
a house with roses round the door.
296
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,560
I haven't seen you so enthused
since we got back from Africa.
297
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,760
So, what? You'd give up archaeology?
298
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,840
Yeah. For a couple of years,
I would.
299
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,680
And then I'll have time to fix
the shingles, I'll have time to fix
300
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:24,240
the door, I'll have time to oil the
hinges and to mend the windows...
301
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,480
Shut up! I get it. Go and find Stan.
302
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:29,000
There could be bear traps
or a hidden well.
303
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,680
I'd pay extra for a hidden well.
304
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,200
Bucket it! Bucket it!
305
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,240
So, you been to an auction before?
306
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,800
No, I but I see 'em every day on TV.
307
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,720
Homes Under The Hammer, Property
Lottery, Auctions-Auctions-Auctions.
308
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,240
You got the Auctions Channel?
309
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,960
No.
310
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,200
Well, all you need is confidence.
311
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,000
Exactly.
312
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,320
So, how much cash you got?
313
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:42,720
About 12 grand.
314
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:47,320
Bloody hell. Well, you're going to
need more than confidence, then.
315
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,400
Here,
you fancy moving on to a houseboat?
316
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,000
Well, that would be a brilliant move
with a two-year-old.
317
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,760
Toni's looking for a tenant
so she can move in with me.
318
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,760
Yeah? Hmm. So if you hear of anyone
looking for somewhere.
319
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,280
What about Kate?
320
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,600
Good idea. Yeah.
I'll ask her if she knows anyone.
321
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,520
Wait a minute! I've come up with
an even better idea.
322
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,840
I am a genius. Go on.
323
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:20,520
Kate could move on to the narrowboat
and they could do a straight swap.
324
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,480
That is a good idea.
I wish I'd thought of that.
325
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,280
Yeah. Yeah.
326
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:29,040
She doesn't get seasick like me,
doesn't have much stuff
327
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,680
and she loves the boat.
328
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,560
Like, I say,
I wish I'd thought of that.
329
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,600
Housing problem fixed.
330
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,960
It looks like I've come up
with the perfect solution.
331
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:41,360
Couldn't come up with a few
grand for me, could you?
332
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,400
Yeah. We just gotta find it.
A pot of gold.
333
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,680
We've got a week.
334
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,920
Oh, bollocks. We're too late.
335
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,560
They've sealed it off.
336
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,600
Damn!
337
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,360
They must have come some time
after we left.
338
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:04,320
If only we got here
before they put this up.
339
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,600
Ah, well. At least we tried.
340
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,440
Hang on.
341
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:10,480
What?
342
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,480
There's no-one around for miles.
343
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,440
What you saying?
344
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:19,400
I don't know. It's just...
345
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,160
Oh, nothing, nothing.
346
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,760
No, go on. What are you thinking?
347
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,040
I reckon I could get under
that tape.
348
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,880
What, you...?
349
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,720
I know, you're right. It's stupid.
350
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,600
No.
351
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,360
No, I reckon you're on to something.
352
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,280
Keep watch.
353
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:29,480
Done?
354
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,920
Felt good, didn't it,
being an activist?
355
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,680
We were like ninjas,
environmental ninjas.
356
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,680
Yeah. So, when do the bats turn up?
357
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:49,760
I don't know, tonight?
358
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,080
Oh, well,
you reckon they'll move straight in?
359
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,960
I haven't really thought about it.
360
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,600
I suppose it takes a while, doesn't
it, for them to find the boxes?
361
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,600
Oh, here we are, look.
24-hour bat helpline.
362
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,960
Shut up, there isn't.
363
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,520
There bloody is, look.
Bat Action Trust.
364
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:09,320
"After hours our calls are
redirected to bat volunteers."
365
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:10,360
Do it.
366
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:17,560
Hello. Er...
367
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,560
I'm on hold.
368
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,840
Busy time.
369
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,200
Oh, it's ringing.
370
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,080
Ah!
371
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,760
Paul, turn your phone off. Paul!
372
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,560
Can you switch your phone
to airplane mode, please?
373
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,720
It's interfering with my Arado.
374
00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:44,880
Hello? 24-hour bat helpline.
How can I help?
375
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,040
Oh, yes.
376
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,600
I've got a bat question for you,
uh, a bat query for you.
377
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,600
Oh, I'll certainly
do my best to help.
378
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,840
What's the nature of your
bat enquiry?
379
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,320
Yeah. Well, basically,
we've installed a bat box.
380
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,560
How soon can
we expect the bats to turn up?
381
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:04,120
Well, ideally, you want to plant
some wild flowers that will attract
382
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,440
the insects and invertebrates
upon which the bats feed,
383
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,760
or, as we like to say,
provide bed and breakfast.
384
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,000
Oh, yeah, bed and breakfast.
385
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,280
Yeah, we haven't got
time for any of that, so...
386
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,040
what's the quickest
we could expect them to...
387
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,080
What's the world record?
388
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,320
Can you hurry up, please?
389
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,760
It's the bat phone.
390
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,600
Well,
why has it come through to you?
391
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,760
I'm further up the list
than you are.
392
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,560
Yep. Well, it's entirely possible
the bats may have already used
393
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,040
the tree to roost.
394
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,880
Look, I got a missed call.
It's supposed to be for me.
395
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:33,920
Let me speak to him.
396
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,240
And where's this tree situated?
397
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:39,800
Let me speak to him.
398
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:40,840
But that's...
399
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,680
Hello, there. Bat Action Trust.
400
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,120
24-hour bat helpline.
You're through to Philip Peters.
401
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:48,280
Sorry about that.
402
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,560
A bit of a mix-up
with the old switchboard.
403
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,840
You're now through to a more
senior member. Hello?
404
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,360
Uh, nobody there.
405
00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,520
What? No. What?
406
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,640
You're not telling us
that you two are the... the bat man.
407
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,440
Oh, I see. Another hoax call, is it?
408
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,440
You pull that stunt with one
of the other emergency services,
409
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,480
you get arrested.
410
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:17,800
Come on, Paul.
411
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:19,320
No.
412
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,480
Pardon?
413
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:23,120
No, Phil. This looks real.
414
00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:25,120
I think these guys need our help.
415
00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:26,960
Let me see your bat credentials.
416
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,160
It's genuine.
417
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,680
Where's this tree?
418
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:41,720
Back up there.
419
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,800
Could be bats there already.
Yeah?
420
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,040
Yeah. A good area for bats.
How do we find out?
421
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,400
I'll have to come back,
bring my detector.
422
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:54,840
Bat detector?
423
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,120
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
The... the... the...
424
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,240
hold on.
425
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:02,000
Found a way
we can be useful to you, have we?
426
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,640
Oh, here we go.
427
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,240
What do we get out of it?
428
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,680
What do you mean?
You get to save a tree.
429
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,080
The Bat Action Trust...
430
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,240
Oh, BAT, I just got that.
431
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,080
Oh, that's clever.
Is that another one of yours?
432
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:17,640
The Bat Action Trust gives Paul
and I the authority to slap
433
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,120
a temporary preservation
order on any tree we want,
434
00:26:21,120 --> 00:26:25,240
providing, of course, we both agree
that it is of special interest.
435
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:30,280
So, I shall ask again,
what do we get out of it?
436
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,320
What do you want?
437
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:34,440
We want that field.
438
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,120
Sly bastards.
439
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,680
We can't.
440
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,200
Oh... I couldn't stand it.
441
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,520
Imagine if he was to find the rest
of my hoard with his crappy Arado.
442
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,560
No. I'd rather nobody found it.
443
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,320
Well, nobody
will have a chance in a week.
444
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,080
Maybe it's time to open it up,
get everybody down here,
445
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,080
next weekend before we lose it.
446
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,320
Oh, I don't know.
447
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,320
A week to find it, mate.
448
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,440
Oh, I know it's there.
449
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,360
Under our feet.
450
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:19,080
Under the lonely earth,
waiting for us.32505
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