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1
00:00:01,606 --> 00:00:03,608
[bright tone]
2
00:00:05,076 --> 00:00:08,280
[sneaky music]
3
00:00:09,146 --> 00:00:13,550
- ♪ All the shadows
in the city ♪
4
00:00:13,617 --> 00:00:17,654
♪ Used to love you,
what a pity ♪
5
00:00:17,721 --> 00:00:21,292
♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪
6
00:00:21,359 --> 00:00:25,496
♪ Bored to death,
cut, mad, and lonely ♪
7
00:00:25,563 --> 00:00:28,761
♪ Bored to death, cut,
mad, and lonely ♪
8
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:31,234
- [coughs]
- ♪ Bored to death ♪
9
00:00:31,301 --> 00:00:34,034
♪ Cut, mad, and lonely. ♪
10
00:00:35,139 --> 00:00:36,874
[whistle blows]
11
00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:44,149
♪ ♪
12
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:52,724
[mysterious music]
13
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,992
♪ ♪
14
00:00:55,059 --> 00:00:56,794
- I can't believe
that you're my father.
15
00:00:56,861 --> 00:00:59,030
You rip off
insurance companies
16
00:00:59,097 --> 00:01:00,230
and you sold
fraudulent sperm.
17
00:01:00,297 --> 00:01:01,365
You're a con man.
18
00:01:01,432 --> 00:01:03,600
- First of all, that sperm
was top-notch.
19
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:06,770
Secondly, the preferred
term is "grifter."
20
00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:08,133
- It doesn't matter.
21
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,672
Either way, you're on the other
side of the law from me.
22
00:01:09,739 --> 00:01:11,975
- Listen, shamus, good guys
always need bad guys
23
00:01:12,042 --> 00:01:14,978
just like sons always
need fathers.
24
00:01:15,045 --> 00:01:16,013
- Bullshit.
25
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,248
- You're living in
a soft dream, kid.
26
00:01:18,315 --> 00:01:21,551
It's the way the world works;
cops and robbers,
27
00:01:21,618 --> 00:01:24,288
cowboys and Indians,
white people and coloreds.
28
00:01:24,355 --> 00:01:27,553
- Oh, my God!
Are you even Jewish
29
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:28,492
or a member of Mensa?
30
00:01:28,559 --> 00:01:32,029
- I'm black Irish
and a member of AAA.
31
00:01:32,096 --> 00:01:35,065
Look, maybe it was
a mistake to call you,
32
00:01:35,132 --> 00:01:37,902
but you and your sister
came after me, remember?
33
00:01:37,969 --> 00:01:39,403
I thought this is what
you wanted.
34
00:01:39,470 --> 00:01:41,471
- About my sister,
are you sure you were
35
00:01:41,538 --> 00:01:43,606
the only one who provided
sperm to the sperm bank?
36
00:01:43,673 --> 00:01:45,075
You didn't have
any friends help out?
37
00:01:45,142 --> 00:01:47,244
- Oh, no,
it was a solo operation.
38
00:01:47,311 --> 00:01:48,980
It almost killed me.
39
00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:51,381
I have a strong libido,
but not that strong.
40
00:01:51,448 --> 00:01:53,150
I went through cases of
vitamin E.
41
00:01:53,217 --> 00:01:54,613
- I have to go.
42
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,188
- What--uh, wait a minute.
43
00:01:57,255 --> 00:01:58,722
Wait a minute, kid.
Wait.
44
00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:00,890
I'm sorry, I know
I'm a disappointment to you,
45
00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:04,829
but for what it's worth,
you seem like the kind of son
46
00:02:04,896 --> 00:02:06,529
a father could be proud of.
47
00:02:06,596 --> 00:02:08,699
I mean, you're a little
on the short side,
48
00:02:08,766 --> 00:02:12,471
but other than that,
you have a lot going for you.
49
00:02:13,605 --> 00:02:18,843
♪ ♪
50
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,778
Kids.
[grunts]
51
00:02:20,845 --> 00:02:23,781
[melancholy music]
52
00:02:23,848 --> 00:02:29,787
♪ ♪
53
00:02:29,854 --> 00:02:31,290
- [exhales]
54
00:02:34,526 --> 00:02:35,625
- Oh, Ray.
55
00:02:35,692 --> 00:02:38,229
What is going on?
It's almost midnight.
56
00:02:38,296 --> 00:02:41,331
- Is Spencer home?
- Yeah, he's 14 months old.
57
00:02:41,398 --> 00:02:43,834
Of course he's home.
Just come--okay.
58
00:02:43,901 --> 00:02:46,238
- Spencer!
- Come on in.
59
00:02:48,372 --> 00:02:49,707
- It's not good for a parent
to put
60
00:02:49,774 --> 00:02:52,209
a lot of pressure on their--
on their kid,
61
00:02:52,276 --> 00:02:55,175
but you're all
I've got, you know?
62
00:02:57,048 --> 00:03:00,252
You'll never let me down,
right?
63
00:03:00,319 --> 00:03:02,454
No matter what,
64
00:03:02,521 --> 00:03:06,724
you'll still love me, right?
65
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:08,593
[sighs]
66
00:03:08,660 --> 00:03:12,898
- [crying]
67
00:03:14,731 --> 00:03:17,367
- I can't believe
you used wood glue.
68
00:03:17,434 --> 00:03:19,402
- Well, when I get home,
I'm gonna yank out
69
00:03:19,469 --> 00:03:23,040
each hair as penance for your--
for your broken nose.
70
00:03:23,107 --> 00:03:25,943
Like a hair shirt,
but on my face.
71
00:03:26,010 --> 00:03:27,878
As a matter of fact...
72
00:03:27,945 --> 00:03:29,647
Ow, God!
- Oh, oh.
73
00:03:29,714 --> 00:03:31,883
- Oh, oh, that hurt.
- Oh, Dad.
74
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:34,218
Dad, stop it.
- [moans]
75
00:03:34,285 --> 00:03:35,652
- I forgive you.
76
00:03:35,719 --> 00:03:39,423
I loved your song.
- Oh, oh, thank you.
77
00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:43,060
- And Bernard forgives you.
- Yes, I do.
78
00:03:43,127 --> 00:03:46,463
- Huh.
- And I can't wait till Friday.
79
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:49,267
- Oh, good.
Wh-what's Friday?
80
00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:50,568
- City Hall!
81
00:03:50,635 --> 00:03:53,804
We're eloping,
just the two of us.
82
00:03:53,871 --> 00:03:54,972
- Oh.
83
00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:57,307
- George,
learn from your mistakes.
84
00:03:57,374 --> 00:04:00,210
No judging.
- No, sorry.
85
00:04:00,277 --> 00:04:02,779
Sorry, it's just--
86
00:04:02,846 --> 00:04:06,617
well, a father hopes he can see
his daughter off, that's all.
87
00:04:06,684 --> 00:04:09,787
- Well, but you weren't
at my first wedding.
88
00:04:09,854 --> 00:04:10,987
- Your first wedding?
89
00:04:11,054 --> 00:04:13,524
- Don't feel left out, George.
My parents aren't coming.
90
00:04:13,591 --> 00:04:15,125
Of course, they're both dead,
91
00:04:15,192 --> 00:04:17,362
but they would've understood.
92
00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:19,796
- Right, well...
93
00:04:19,863 --> 00:04:23,662
Hey, how 'bout I throw you
a beautiful wedding
94
00:04:23,729 --> 00:04:25,069
at George on Jane?
95
00:04:25,136 --> 00:04:28,405
Food and music.
No alcohol.
96
00:04:28,472 --> 00:04:31,876
- I would love that.
- Oh, good.
97
00:04:31,943 --> 00:04:34,612
- Ohh.
- [chuckles]
98
00:04:34,679 --> 00:04:37,014
So...
99
00:04:37,081 --> 00:04:38,582
Uh, when were you married
before?
100
00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:41,318
- Oh, it was during
my S&M phase.
101
00:04:41,385 --> 00:04:43,587
It wasn't legal,
just a blood ritual,
102
00:04:43,654 --> 00:04:45,422
so I didn't tell you about it.
103
00:04:45,489 --> 00:04:48,191
- Oh, good, good,
good, good.
104
00:04:48,258 --> 00:04:50,127
Was there a lot of blood?
105
00:04:50,194 --> 00:04:52,897
- Enough.
106
00:04:52,964 --> 00:04:54,565
- I can't believe
you committed incest.
107
00:04:54,632 --> 00:04:56,133
It's worse
than my elder love.
108
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,669
- Did you wear a condom?
- Yes! Yes.
109
00:04:58,736 --> 00:05:00,638
- Good, because
you inbreeding is scary
110
00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:02,073
and weird enough
as it is already.
111
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,673
- Should I tell Rose?
112
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:05,509
She's the first girl
I've liked in a long time,
113
00:05:05,576 --> 00:05:08,011
and I know what diseases
we're genetically prone to:
114
00:05:08,078 --> 00:05:10,275
throat cancer and colitis.
115
00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:12,416
- Look, you have to break up
with her immediately.
116
00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:15,218
And...
[sighs]
117
00:05:15,285 --> 00:05:16,320
I need all your attention
now that
118
00:05:16,387 --> 00:05:17,520
Leah doesn't wanna marry me.
119
00:05:17,587 --> 00:05:20,057
- I'm so sorry about this, Ray.
- It's okay.
120
00:05:20,124 --> 00:05:22,026
At least I have Spencer.
121
00:05:22,093 --> 00:05:24,695
He'll meet all my
emotional needs.
122
00:05:24,762 --> 00:05:27,332
A bond between
a father and son is...
123
00:05:27,399 --> 00:05:28,331
is enough for me.
124
00:05:28,398 --> 00:05:29,967
- Hey, don't rub it in.
125
00:05:30,034 --> 00:05:31,402
Because of Bergeron,
I slept with my sister.
126
00:05:31,469 --> 00:05:32,970
I hate my biological father.
127
00:05:33,037 --> 00:05:34,204
- Listen, don't say that.
128
00:05:34,271 --> 00:05:35,338
What if Spencer said that
about me?
129
00:05:35,405 --> 00:05:36,674
You gotta give this creep
a second chance.
130
00:05:36,741 --> 00:05:38,376
- But he's a crook
and I'm a lawman.
131
00:05:38,443 --> 00:05:39,676
- I don't care.
132
00:05:39,743 --> 00:05:42,413
You have to go talk to
this guy, 'cause if you don't,
133
00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,581
it could haunt you
for the rest of your life.
134
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:46,684
- Can you come with me
to Coney Island to see him?
135
00:05:46,751 --> 00:05:47,685
- I can't.
136
00:05:47,752 --> 00:05:48,953
It's the year anniversary
of Super Ray,
137
00:05:49,020 --> 00:05:51,388
and I've got a signing
at Bergen Street Comics.
138
00:05:51,455 --> 00:05:54,725
[phone ringing]
- Oh, hold on.
139
00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:56,193
Uh, hi.
140
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:57,328
- What's going on?
141
00:05:57,395 --> 00:05:58,328
What did you learn
about the sperm bank?
142
00:05:58,395 --> 00:06:01,332
- Uh, nothing.
It was a red herring.
143
00:06:01,399 --> 00:06:03,834
Another dead end.
- Oh.
144
00:06:03,901 --> 00:06:04,702
Damn.
145
00:06:04,769 --> 00:06:07,071
- Hey, I'm with
a really tormented friend
146
00:06:07,138 --> 00:06:10,708
who's having a lot of problems.
Can I call you back?
147
00:06:10,775 --> 00:06:12,344
- Oh, okay.
148
00:06:12,411 --> 00:06:14,912
- Bye.
149
00:06:14,979 --> 00:06:16,213
- Who was that?
150
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:17,915
- My beautiful sister.
151
00:06:17,982 --> 00:06:20,818
- I knew it.
God!
152
00:06:20,885 --> 00:06:22,520
Look, if you can't
break it off with her,
153
00:06:22,587 --> 00:06:24,755
at least wear condoms.
154
00:06:24,822 --> 00:06:27,090
This is Brooklyn after all.
- Yeah.
155
00:06:27,157 --> 00:06:30,962
- Josephine, I am so sorry
I ran out on you last night.
156
00:06:31,029 --> 00:06:34,031
I--but it is my M.O.,
157
00:06:34,098 --> 00:06:37,869
even when I'm not stoned
and playing Don Quixote.
158
00:06:37,936 --> 00:06:39,337
- It's a lousy M.O.
159
00:06:39,404 --> 00:06:41,238
I don't like it.
160
00:06:41,305 --> 00:06:43,340
- I tried to tell you this.
161
00:06:43,407 --> 00:06:45,575
My relationships
are like crimes.
162
00:06:45,642 --> 00:06:49,347
I-I get in, I steal something,
and I leave.
163
00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:50,981
- What do you steal?
164
00:06:51,048 --> 00:06:52,417
- Love.
165
00:06:52,484 --> 00:06:54,986
I don't mean to.
166
00:06:55,053 --> 00:06:56,621
It's what I do.
167
00:06:59,757 --> 00:07:01,559
- I think I'm finally
hearing you.
168
00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:02,859
- No, no, but wait.
169
00:07:02,926 --> 00:07:06,396
I-I'm saying this to you
because I want to transform.
170
00:07:06,463 --> 00:07:10,434
Josephine, I'm a 63-year-old
work in progress,
171
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:13,772
but I am falling for you.
172
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,509
- George.
173
00:07:21,645 --> 00:07:23,881
- You know, I-I think that we
should take this
174
00:07:23,948 --> 00:07:24,816
to the next level.
175
00:07:24,883 --> 00:07:28,251
I think we should be
monogamous.
176
00:07:28,318 --> 00:07:30,320
- I thought we were.
177
00:07:30,387 --> 00:07:32,623
- Of course we are.
[laughs]
178
00:07:32,690 --> 00:07:34,626
You are such a card.
179
00:07:36,994 --> 00:07:39,931
[jazzy music]
180
00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:43,300
♪ ♪
181
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:45,602
- Well, the prodigal son
has returned.
182
00:07:45,669 --> 00:07:48,439
I always wanted to say that.
It's a classic.
183
00:07:48,506 --> 00:07:49,506
- Are you leaving?
184
00:07:49,573 --> 00:07:51,774
- Yeah, I'm headed
for Jacksonville.
185
00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:54,378
They've got a lot of syphilitic
halfwits down there.
186
00:07:54,445 --> 00:07:55,980
It's an easy place to score.
187
00:07:56,047 --> 00:07:57,815
- Well, why are you going?
Is it because of me?
188
00:07:57,882 --> 00:08:00,951
- No, no. I, uh--
I'm on the lam.
189
00:08:01,018 --> 00:08:04,087
I got in bad with
some groundskeepers,
190
00:08:04,154 --> 00:08:05,589
gambling problem.
191
00:08:05,656 --> 00:08:07,491
- So it's serious with
these groundskeepers?
192
00:08:07,558 --> 00:08:09,626
- Nothing I can't handle
by running away.
193
00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:12,730
- But no,
I came here to forgive you.
194
00:08:12,797 --> 00:08:15,066
I wanna know my father.
- Damn.
195
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:16,901
Look, I'm in kind of a rush,
196
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:19,437
but I got time maybe
for one question.
197
00:08:19,504 --> 00:08:21,939
What do you wanna know?
198
00:08:22,006 --> 00:08:24,341
- Uh...
199
00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:26,310
Do you have any hobbies?
200
00:08:26,377 --> 00:08:28,378
Shit, that's the worst
question possible.
201
00:08:28,445 --> 00:08:30,815
I don't know.
- No, no, no, it's good.
202
00:08:30,882 --> 00:08:33,183
I saw on your card
that you're a writer.
203
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:34,517
I scribble.
204
00:08:34,584 --> 00:08:36,487
You probably got that from me.
- Really?
205
00:08:36,554 --> 00:08:37,554
You like to write?
206
00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:39,724
- Yes, I used to pen
a lot of the letters
207
00:08:39,791 --> 00:08:41,024
for "Penthouse" forum.
208
00:08:41,091 --> 00:08:43,827
It was a great side gig
with the insurance fraud,
209
00:08:43,894 --> 00:08:45,796
but then the Internet came in
210
00:08:45,863 --> 00:08:48,032
and destroyed
literary pornography.
211
00:08:48,099 --> 00:08:48,966
God damn it.
212
00:08:49,033 --> 00:08:50,968
- My other dad had those
hidden in his closet.
213
00:08:51,035 --> 00:08:54,272
I must have read your work.
- A lot of people have.
214
00:08:54,339 --> 00:08:55,405
- Wow.
215
00:08:55,472 --> 00:08:57,441
- Listen, I want you
to have something
216
00:08:57,508 --> 00:09:00,177
to remember me by.
217
00:09:00,244 --> 00:09:01,813
Uh...
- [gasps]
218
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,514
- No, no, no, it's a gift.
219
00:09:03,581 --> 00:09:05,216
- I don't wanna cross
state lines with it.
220
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,619
- Oh.
221
00:09:07,686 --> 00:09:10,254
Thank you,
but does this firearm
222
00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:11,383
have the correct paperwork?
223
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:12,823
- Jesus, I thought
you were a private dick,
224
00:09:12,890 --> 00:09:14,557
not a Canadian Mountie.
225
00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:16,761
- You're right, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
226
00:09:16,828 --> 00:09:20,130
- Yeah.
- Business is closed.
227
00:09:20,197 --> 00:09:22,332
Beat it, kid.
228
00:09:22,399 --> 00:09:23,768
- What if I don't
wanna beat it?
229
00:09:23,835 --> 00:09:25,669
- I-it's okay, guys.
It's okay.
230
00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:28,038
He was just looking
for a Montreal Expos cap.
231
00:09:28,105 --> 00:09:30,441
I guess you're
out of luck, Mountie.
232
00:09:30,508 --> 00:09:33,445
[stealthy music]
233
00:09:33,512 --> 00:09:40,719
♪ ♪
234
00:09:44,154 --> 00:09:46,658
- Why you packing up, old man?
Skipping out on us?
235
00:09:46,725 --> 00:09:48,058
- Of course not.
236
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:50,394
I'm just taking some clothes
over to the Salvation Army.
237
00:09:50,461 --> 00:09:52,095
- Bullshit.
- [groans]
238
00:09:52,162 --> 00:09:54,265
- Come on, let's go.
Jerry wants to talk to you.
239
00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:55,828
- Come on.
240
00:09:55,895 --> 00:10:02,908
♪ ♪
241
00:10:39,944 --> 00:10:44,015
- I don't like games.
242
00:10:44,082 --> 00:10:46,717
So you were trying
to give me the slip?
243
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:47,918
I knew you were a liar,
244
00:10:47,985 --> 00:10:49,587
but I didn't think
you were stupid.
245
00:10:49,654 --> 00:10:51,355
- I'm a complex person.
246
00:10:51,422 --> 00:10:53,390
- So where's my complex
10 grand?
247
00:10:53,457 --> 00:10:57,294
- Listen, I got a good tip
about this new pitcher.
248
00:10:57,361 --> 00:10:59,797
You raise the mound
a few inches and we put
249
00:10:59,864 --> 00:11:01,364
our money on a shut-out.
250
00:11:01,431 --> 00:11:04,769
- Our money?
I want my money!
251
00:11:04,836 --> 00:11:07,439
I'm gonna have
to erase you, Harry.
252
00:11:07,506 --> 00:11:08,840
- Pop him here?
253
00:11:08,907 --> 00:11:11,641
- Sure, we gotta dig up
centerfield anyway.
254
00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:14,712
- You, drop the gun!
You two, hands up.
255
00:11:14,779 --> 00:11:15,947
And don't test me,
I've been going to
256
00:11:16,014 --> 00:11:17,147
the gun range once a week.
257
00:11:17,214 --> 00:11:19,116
- It's that little kid
from the hat store.
258
00:11:19,183 --> 00:11:20,952
- Little?
259
00:11:21,019 --> 00:11:25,489
♪ ♪
260
00:11:25,556 --> 00:11:27,192
- I should have told you
it does that.
261
00:11:27,259 --> 00:11:28,526
- Get him!
262
00:11:28,593 --> 00:11:29,726
- You gave me a broken gun?
263
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:31,628
- Well, it works if you don't
swing it around.
264
00:11:31,695 --> 00:11:34,699
- Who is this punk?
- He's my son, Johnny.
265
00:11:34,766 --> 00:11:36,568
Hey, you can never say
your old man
266
00:11:36,635 --> 00:11:37,768
didn't bring you to a ballpark.
267
00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:40,237
- Aw shit, now we got
to bury two bodies.
268
00:11:40,304 --> 00:11:43,074
- What?
- Jerry, that's not necessary.
269
00:11:43,141 --> 00:11:45,543
You'll get your money.
Just don't touch the kid.
270
00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:47,439
- Suddenly you're flush?
271
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,948
Okay, Phillie,
you go with asshole
272
00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:52,716
and get the cash,
and we'll keep the kid.
273
00:11:52,783 --> 00:11:54,819
- Where I'm going,
I have to go alone.
274
00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:56,186
It's an old friend
in the syndicate,
275
00:11:56,253 --> 00:11:57,755
and if
I show up with a hard boy,
276
00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,524
I won't
get in the front door.
277
00:11:59,591 --> 00:12:00,758
So that's the deal.
278
00:12:00,825 --> 00:12:03,093
You keep Johnny.
He's your insurance.
279
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:04,829
- Okay.
280
00:12:04,896 --> 00:12:06,797
If you're not back
in 90 minutes,
281
00:12:06,864 --> 00:12:09,199
he's gonna be playing
center field, permanently.
282
00:12:09,266 --> 00:12:10,802
- But I'm a lousy
baseball player.
283
00:12:10,869 --> 00:12:12,804
It's not my best sport.
- Shut up!
284
00:12:12,871 --> 00:12:14,905
I'm ready to kill
this kid right now.
285
00:12:14,972 --> 00:12:17,642
You going to get my money?
- Yeah, you'll get it.
286
00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:20,079
Don't worry, son.
287
00:12:21,712 --> 00:12:23,082
- Dad?
288
00:12:26,945 --> 00:12:30,988
- This is the bulk of the work
I produced in the past year.
289
00:12:31,055 --> 00:12:32,690
Sorry there's not more,
290
00:12:32,757 --> 00:12:37,595
but I've had a--
a rough time.
291
00:12:37,662 --> 00:12:39,897
Any questions?
Yes?
292
00:12:39,964 --> 00:12:41,966
- What are Exacto Man
and the Emasculator doing
293
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:44,769
to Super Ray in that drawing?
294
00:12:44,836 --> 00:12:47,104
- Oh, they're attacking his,
uh--his spine.
295
00:12:47,171 --> 00:12:51,043
I had back spasms and I--I
healed them with my own mind.
296
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,211
Yes, in the back.
297
00:12:54,278 --> 00:12:57,314
- Can you cure my sore throat
with your mind?
298
00:12:57,381 --> 00:13:00,452
- I don't, uh,
do other people's bodies.
299
00:13:00,519 --> 00:13:02,219
Next?
Yes.
300
00:13:02,286 --> 00:13:04,455
- Why aren't there
any drawings of the girl
301
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:05,756
that Super Ray loves?
302
00:13:05,823 --> 00:13:08,426
I worship her.
She's my screen-saver.
303
00:13:08,493 --> 00:13:10,260
- She left Super Ray.
304
00:13:10,327 --> 00:13:12,524
And even though
his heart is encased
305
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:16,734
in adamantium fat,
like Wolverine,
306
00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:18,502
he was destroyed.
307
00:13:18,569 --> 00:13:20,838
- Is your work
autobiographical?
308
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:22,506
Did a girl leave you?
309
00:13:22,573 --> 00:13:24,742
- Yes and yes.
- I'm sorry.
310
00:13:24,809 --> 00:13:27,345
But we all love you.
311
00:13:27,412 --> 00:13:28,981
- Really?
312
00:13:29,814 --> 00:13:33,117
[exhales deeply]
Thank you.
313
00:13:33,184 --> 00:13:35,819
I guess that's it
for the questions.
314
00:13:35,886 --> 00:13:39,023
I'll just, uh, take
some more compliments now.
315
00:13:39,090 --> 00:13:43,728
- ♪ La, la, la, la ♪
316
00:13:43,795 --> 00:13:45,262
You're running out of time.
317
00:13:45,329 --> 00:13:47,898
Where's the old man?
I hope he loves you.
318
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,800
- He does.
He'll be back soon.
319
00:13:49,867 --> 00:13:51,569
- Maybe we should
give him a call,
320
00:13:51,636 --> 00:13:52,904
let him hear
you scream a little.
321
00:13:52,971 --> 00:13:54,004
- Or we could call him
and I'll use
322
00:13:54,071 --> 00:13:56,140
my normal non-screaming voice.
323
00:13:56,207 --> 00:13:57,541
That was just one thought.
324
00:13:57,608 --> 00:13:59,477
Let's keep brainstorming.
There are no bad ideas.
325
00:13:59,544 --> 00:14:00,377
- Call.
326
00:14:00,444 --> 00:14:01,845
- But just to be clear,
we're going with
327
00:14:01,912 --> 00:14:03,114
your screaming concept?
328
00:14:03,181 --> 00:14:04,416
- Call!
329
00:14:10,988 --> 00:14:12,757
- Hi, Dad, it's Jonathan.
[clears throat]
330
00:14:12,824 --> 00:14:15,026
Um, mm-hmm, no.
331
00:14:15,092 --> 00:14:16,293
Of course I'm still
at Wonders Stadium.
332
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,229
Just seeing how
things coming along.
333
00:14:18,296 --> 00:14:21,398
[groans]
Ow!
334
00:14:21,465 --> 00:14:24,435
I thought we were going
with normal speaking voice!
335
00:14:24,502 --> 00:14:26,237
If you don't get back here
soon, these guys are definitely
336
00:14:26,304 --> 00:14:28,340
gonna kill me, like they said.
So hurry up.
337
00:14:28,407 --> 00:14:31,108
- What? Oh, my God.
338
00:14:31,175 --> 00:14:33,278
I'll be there.
- Okay, I have to go.
339
00:14:33,345 --> 00:14:35,180
Bye. Love you.
340
00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:41,952
- Sal, I need help.
341
00:14:42,019 --> 00:14:43,515
Yes, that's a good idea,
342
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:45,823
but let's put it in
a to-go cup.
343
00:14:45,890 --> 00:14:48,458
- There you go.
344
00:14:48,525 --> 00:14:51,429
- Look, Grandma.
- Oh, yeah, it's lovely, yeah.
345
00:14:51,496 --> 00:14:53,330
- Oh, excuse me.
Hold on.
346
00:14:53,397 --> 00:14:56,934
This one is, uh, for you.
- Oh.
347
00:14:57,001 --> 00:14:59,637
- Why don't you, uh,
call me sometime?
348
00:14:59,704 --> 00:15:01,473
- Oh.
349
00:15:03,207 --> 00:15:06,443
Oh.
You're really very forward.
350
00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:09,313
- [seductively]
Oh, you make it easy.
351
00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:11,116
- [murmurs]
352
00:15:11,183 --> 00:15:12,217
Oh.
353
00:15:13,984 --> 00:15:15,519
- How you doing?
- Hi.
354
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:17,822
Um, were you always a god?
355
00:15:17,889 --> 00:15:21,125
- Yes--oh, God, now what?
[phone ringing]
356
00:15:21,192 --> 00:15:23,394
George, this better be good.
357
00:15:23,461 --> 00:15:25,195
I'm being told
how great I am by my fans.
358
00:15:25,262 --> 00:15:28,832
- Hey, sorry, but Jonathan is
at Brooklyn Wonders Stadium,
359
00:15:28,899 --> 00:15:29,833
and he's in trouble.
360
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,536
He needs us.
Can you meet me there?
361
00:15:31,603 --> 00:15:32,736
- Oh, shit, again?
362
00:15:32,803 --> 00:15:35,607
All right, I'll be there.
363
00:15:35,674 --> 00:15:37,240
Super Ray is needed.
364
00:15:37,307 --> 00:15:38,843
- I always knew your powers
were real.
365
00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:40,111
- I have to get
to Wonders Stadium
366
00:15:40,178 --> 00:15:42,046
and save a disturbed friend.
367
00:15:42,113 --> 00:15:43,346
Do you know the best subway?
368
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:46,684
- Do you need a car?
We could take the Ray Mobile.
369
00:15:46,751 --> 00:15:47,985
- There's a Ray Mobile?
370
00:15:48,052 --> 00:15:51,184
[exciting music]
371
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,791
♪ ♪
372
00:15:53,858 --> 00:15:57,062
[engine chugging]
373
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,501
- Oh, Ray, thank God.
374
00:16:03,568 --> 00:16:05,535
Who are these people?
375
00:16:05,602 --> 00:16:08,172
- The League of Rays,
or the Ray-Vengers.
376
00:16:08,239 --> 00:16:09,473
The name's still
under discussion.
377
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,543
- The Rays of Hope.
- Please stop saying that.
378
00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:12,376
- The Ray-Team.
379
00:16:12,443 --> 00:16:13,711
- We'll discuss it
at the meeting!
380
00:16:13,778 --> 00:16:15,913
- Hey, guys, I'm stuck.
381
00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:17,080
- Oh, come on.
382
00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:19,917
- Well, uh, good thinking,
you know?
383
00:16:19,984 --> 00:16:21,786
We need all the reinforcements
we can get.
384
00:16:21,853 --> 00:16:24,922
I brought Sal,
but he kinda pooped out.
385
00:16:24,989 --> 00:16:27,592
The car makes him sleepy.
386
00:16:27,659 --> 00:16:28,660
- [grunts]
387
00:16:29,994 --> 00:16:33,330
Has your dad always
been such a chiseler?
388
00:16:33,397 --> 00:16:34,798
- For as long
as I've known him.
389
00:16:34,865 --> 00:16:35,933
Do you have a son?
390
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,203
- No, three daughters.
All of them tarts.
391
00:16:39,270 --> 00:16:41,706
- That's right.
[chuckling]
392
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,543
- [chuckles]
393
00:16:45,610 --> 00:16:47,546
Shut the fuck up!
394
00:16:49,514 --> 00:16:51,250
- Whoa!
395
00:16:52,917 --> 00:16:55,853
[laid-back music]
396
00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:03,128
♪ ♪
397
00:17:05,263 --> 00:17:06,830
- He said he was in
the stadium.
398
00:17:06,897 --> 00:17:08,098
- He could be anywhere.
399
00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:09,300
- You think we're gonna
get into trouble for
400
00:17:09,367 --> 00:17:11,001
breaking into this place?
401
00:17:11,068 --> 00:17:12,570
- Do not be negative
on a super mission.
402
00:17:12,637 --> 00:17:13,638
- It's okay, man.
403
00:17:13,705 --> 00:17:14,672
- That's right.
404
00:17:14,739 --> 00:17:15,940
In a ridiculous situation,
405
00:17:16,007 --> 00:17:17,174
it's important
to think positively.
406
00:17:17,241 --> 00:17:19,376
- All right, I have a plan.
407
00:17:19,443 --> 00:17:21,311
Now we need
to flush 'em out.
408
00:17:21,378 --> 00:17:23,548
Are the League of Rays
ready to be heroes?
409
00:17:23,615 --> 00:17:24,848
- Hell yeah.
410
00:17:24,915 --> 00:17:27,319
Cocked and loaded.
- Mm-hmm.
411
00:17:27,386 --> 00:17:28,420
- Okay.
412
00:17:30,221 --> 00:17:32,491
- [sighs]
Five more minutes, kid.
413
00:17:34,825 --> 00:17:36,127
Then we shoot you in the head.
414
00:17:36,194 --> 00:17:37,895
- Do you have to be
so explicit?
415
00:17:37,962 --> 00:17:39,129
[gun cocks]
416
00:17:39,196 --> 00:17:41,032
[organ playing]
417
00:17:41,099 --> 00:17:43,867
George on P.A.:
Let Jonathan Ames go.
418
00:17:43,934 --> 00:17:45,703
- Who the fuck is that?
419
00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:48,806
♪ ♪
420
00:17:48,873 --> 00:17:50,303
- Come on.
421
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,209
♪ ♪
422
00:17:52,276 --> 00:17:54,779
[upbeat music]
423
00:17:54,846 --> 00:17:56,548
- ♪ Ooh ♪
424
00:17:58,483 --> 00:17:59,512
♪ Ooh ♪
425
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,153
- I don't like this.
426
00:18:02,554 --> 00:18:04,156
- ♪ Ooh ♪
427
00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:08,659
- What the hell?
- Who the fuck are these guys?
428
00:18:08,726 --> 00:18:09,993
- They're Super Rays.
429
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:12,963
- Villains,
release Jonathan Ames
430
00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:14,727
or you will feel the wrath
431
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,868
of Super Ray and his minions.
432
00:18:17,935 --> 00:18:19,036
- Who's in the booth?
433
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,905
- M-maybe minions isn't
the right word.
434
00:18:20,972 --> 00:18:22,873
Uh, followers or sycophants?
435
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,608
Uh, super fans!
436
00:18:24,675 --> 00:18:27,378
Maybe "minions" was
the best, actually.
437
00:18:27,445 --> 00:18:29,547
- Screw this.
Charge!
438
00:18:29,614 --> 00:18:31,649
[shouting]
439
00:18:31,716 --> 00:18:34,985
♪ ♪
440
00:18:35,052 --> 00:18:38,257
[laughter]
441
00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:43,126
[guns firing]
442
00:18:43,193 --> 00:18:46,030
- They have guns!
They have guns.
443
00:18:46,097 --> 00:18:48,199
[gunshots]
- oh!
444
00:18:48,266 --> 00:18:51,702
Run, Rays, run!
- Ray down!
445
00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:54,205
- Okay, come on, come on!
446
00:18:54,272 --> 00:18:55,607
[gunshot cracks]
447
00:18:57,141 --> 00:18:59,810
- Help me!
[squeals]
448
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:02,314
[gunshots blasts]
449
00:19:05,750 --> 00:19:07,118
- [screaming]
450
00:19:07,185 --> 00:19:10,589
[grunting]
451
00:19:11,956 --> 00:19:13,558
- Good one!
Good one, yes!
452
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:15,194
- I'm coming, Ray!
453
00:19:18,362 --> 00:19:19,964
- Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
454
00:19:20,031 --> 00:19:21,431
[gunshot]
455
00:19:21,498 --> 00:19:24,168
- Take cover!
- Get down.
456
00:19:24,235 --> 00:19:27,400
- Serpentine, Jonathan,
serpentine!
457
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,207
[gunfire]
458
00:19:30,274 --> 00:19:32,109
Stop shooting, you'll hurt him.
459
00:19:32,176 --> 00:19:33,210
Stop shooting.
460
00:19:33,277 --> 00:19:34,813
- Get the little bastard.
461
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,915
- Slide like Jackie Robinson!
462
00:19:37,982 --> 00:19:41,181
[gunshots]
463
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,783
- Fuck.
- Yes!
464
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,925
Oh, God! Muah!
Oh, God, oh!
465
00:19:47,992 --> 00:19:49,059
Oh.
466
00:19:49,126 --> 00:19:50,494
- No, no, no, no, no!
467
00:19:50,561 --> 00:19:54,466
Make a move,
it'll be your last.
468
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,969
- We did it.
We did it!
469
00:19:58,036 --> 00:20:01,240
[all laughing]
470
00:20:02,073 --> 00:20:03,473
- Bye!
- Bye!
471
00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:05,443
- See you guys next week
at the meeting.
472
00:20:05,510 --> 00:20:07,144
- I love your new friends.
473
00:20:07,211 --> 00:20:08,445
- Yeah, they're good people.
474
00:20:08,512 --> 00:20:11,181
- Thank you guys for saving
my life again.
475
00:20:11,248 --> 00:20:12,817
- Of course, Jonathan.
476
00:20:14,218 --> 00:20:17,221
I'm just sorry
your father abandoned you.
477
00:20:17,288 --> 00:20:18,488
- It's all right.
478
00:20:18,555 --> 00:20:20,492
I knew you guys
would come for me.
479
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,396
- Shit, is Sal dead?
480
00:20:25,463 --> 00:20:27,926
- He shouldn't be.
I left a window open.
481
00:20:27,993 --> 00:20:30,468
Sal, wake up.
Come on, wake up.
482
00:20:30,535 --> 00:20:33,671
[jazzy piano music]
483
00:20:33,738 --> 00:20:40,745
♪ ♪
484
00:21:01,533 --> 00:21:03,600
- Daddy, I thought you said
485
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:06,103
there wasn't going
to be any alcohol.
486
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:08,272
- Oh, no, I meant
no alcohol for you.
487
00:21:08,339 --> 00:21:09,439
- [scoffs]
Oh, God.
488
00:21:09,506 --> 00:21:11,508
- Oh, no, sweetheart,
I can't give
489
00:21:11,575 --> 00:21:15,040
a father's wedding toast
without champagne.
490
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,281
And look, look,
I-I've got Martinelli's
491
00:21:17,348 --> 00:21:20,084
for you and, um, uh, Bernard.
492
00:21:20,151 --> 00:21:21,753
Right, and wasn't
that thoughtful?
493
00:21:21,820 --> 00:21:24,088
- Okay, fine.
494
00:21:24,155 --> 00:21:25,991
- Go sit, go on.
- Okay.
495
00:21:28,459 --> 00:21:30,928
- Uh, excuse me, everybody.
496
00:21:30,995 --> 00:21:32,697
I'd like to say a few words.
497
00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:38,936
What I have learned
in my 63 years
498
00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:41,438
is that we all walk this
499
00:21:41,505 --> 00:21:45,510
razor's edge of feeling
like our lives are both
500
00:21:45,577 --> 00:21:50,147
meaningful and meaningless.
501
00:21:50,214 --> 00:21:54,518
This can lead to depression,
502
00:21:54,585 --> 00:21:58,090
confusion, and melancholy.
503
00:21:59,523 --> 00:22:02,694
- Oh, no.
He's making this about himself.
504
00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:05,362
- And all the gurus tell us
that we--
505
00:22:05,429 --> 00:22:07,098
we should live in the now,
506
00:22:07,165 --> 00:22:08,700
but I always feel like
507
00:22:08,767 --> 00:22:12,235
I'm one second behind
my--my own life,
508
00:22:12,302 --> 00:22:14,506
never fully present--hmm?
509
00:22:16,574 --> 00:22:19,339
So I say to you, Emily...
510
00:22:21,012 --> 00:22:22,746
Let yourself be loved,
511
00:22:22,813 --> 00:22:26,516
which is one of the hardest
things to learn in life.
512
00:22:26,583 --> 00:22:30,054
But you are so worthy
of being cherished,
513
00:22:30,121 --> 00:22:34,392
and I love you
with all my being.
514
00:22:34,459 --> 00:22:36,861
To Emily and Bernard!
515
00:22:36,928 --> 00:22:39,396
- Yes!
all: cheers.
516
00:22:39,463 --> 00:22:42,060
- Cheers.
- Congratulations.
517
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:44,435
- Thank you so much
for coming.
518
00:22:44,502 --> 00:22:48,005
- ♪ See the pyramids ♪
519
00:22:48,072 --> 00:22:50,475
♪ Along the Nile ♪
520
00:22:50,542 --> 00:22:52,877
♪ Watch a sunrise ♪
521
00:22:52,944 --> 00:22:56,346
♪ On a tropic isle ♪
522
00:22:56,413 --> 00:22:59,216
♪ Just remember, darling ♪
523
00:22:59,283 --> 00:23:02,186
♪ All the while ♪
524
00:23:02,253 --> 00:23:06,224
♪ You belong to me... ♪
525
00:23:06,291 --> 00:23:09,693
♪ ♪
526
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,664
- [whispers]
Did you tell her yet?
527
00:23:12,731 --> 00:23:15,800
Well, we all have
our thing.
528
00:23:15,867 --> 00:23:18,136
- [chuckles]
529
00:23:18,203 --> 00:23:22,674
♪ ♪
530
00:23:22,741 --> 00:23:24,675
- Rose?
531
00:23:24,742 --> 00:23:26,243
- Mm?
532
00:23:26,310 --> 00:23:29,880
- There's something, um...
533
00:23:29,947 --> 00:23:31,650
- What?
534
00:23:33,918 --> 00:23:36,020
- Never mind.
535
00:23:36,087 --> 00:23:37,788
- ♪ See the jungle ♪
536
00:23:37,855 --> 00:23:41,658
♪ When it's wet with rain ♪
537
00:23:41,725 --> 00:23:47,197
♪ Just remember
till you're home again ♪
538
00:23:47,264 --> 00:23:51,268
♪ You belong to me ♪
539
00:23:51,335 --> 00:23:56,374
♪ Yes, you belong ♪
540
00:23:56,441 --> 00:24:00,179
♪ To me ♪
541
00:24:01,345 --> 00:24:04,014
[The Magnetic Fields' "Nothing
Matters when We're Dancing"]
542
00:24:04,081 --> 00:24:09,086
- ♪ Dance with me,
my old friend ♪
543
00:24:09,153 --> 00:24:13,825
♪ Once before we go ♪
544
00:24:13,892 --> 00:24:18,495
♪ Let's pretend
this song won't end ♪
545
00:24:18,562 --> 00:24:22,933
♪ And we never
have to go home ♪
546
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:29,506
♪ And we'll dance
among the chandeliers ♪
547
00:24:29,573 --> 00:24:34,406
♪ And nothing matters
when we're dancing ♪
548
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:38,816
♪ In tattered tatters
you're entrancing ♪
549
00:24:38,883 --> 00:24:43,053
♪ Be we in Paris
or in Lansing ♪
550
00:24:43,120 --> 00:24:47,487
♪ Nothing matters
when we're dancing ♪
551
00:24:48,860 --> 00:24:52,064
♪ Nothing matters when
we're dancing ♪
552
00:24:53,797 --> 00:24:58,536
♪ Nothing matters
when we're dancing ♪
553
00:24:58,603 --> 00:25:00,805
[bright tone]
38224
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