All language subtitles for The.Debt.2011.720p.BluRay.x264-Felony

Breathe.

We should never forget
how young they were.

My father,
Stephan Gold,

was the youngest
unit commander in Mossad.

David Peretz had his 29th
birthday while on the mission.

When my mother crossed
through the checkpoint,

into Soviet-controlled
East Berlin,

she was only 25.

They'd had the courage to
confront an unimaginable evil.

A man whose
sadistic experiments

left thousands
disfigured or dead,

who became known by a name which
defiles the annals of medicine,

the Surgeon of Birkenau.

Their mission had
been to capture him

and return him
to Israel to stand trial.

Instead, it ended on the
streets of East Berlin.

These three dared to relive
Israel's greatest nightmare,

her greatest pain.

And in the simple act
of facing the monster,

they helped to vanquish it.

This book is dedicated
to my inspiration,

my mother, Rachel Singer.

Mother.

Mother,

I'm so very proud
to be your daughter.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(EXHALING NERVOUSLY)

- David Peretz?
- Yes.

You were expecting me?

Yes, I was
expecting you.

Would you come
with me, sir?

Let's go.

AGENT: Are you all right, sir?

Sorry, I think I...

(HORN BLARES)

When are you
going to stop?

Stop what?

The smoking.

I gave up alcohol.
What more do you want?

Okay, soon.

I hope so.
Do it for your grandson.

I've marked the place.
Perhaps from Chapter 11.

Good. Thank you.

You must be very proud.

Yes, I am.
It's a great achievement.

I'm very proud of her.

And I'm sure you were
invaluable in the research.

Actually my mother
withstood all interrogation.

My father was the talker.

I'm the only journalist in
Israel she won't speak to.

I thought
he couldn't come.

Sit down.

So did I.

My God, it must be
election season.

Papa, you came.

I came.

- Rachel.
- Stephan.

Okay.
So, you're the expert.

Maybe you can
tell me something.

Who is the handsome
devil on this cover?

It went well?

SARAH'S HUSBAND:
She was wonderful.

That's good. Good, good.
That's very good.

WOMAN: I just want
to thank you all

for coming to celebrate the
launch of this wonderful book.

And I'm sure we are all
particularly thrilled

to have two of the heroes of the
story here with us tonight.

And even more thrilled that one of
them has agreed to read for us.

Miss Rachel Singer.

"On the evening
of the 31st of December,

"it began to rain
more heavily.

"So isolated had they become
from the outside world,

"that it was only when she
looked out of the window

"that Rachel remembered
that it was New Year's Eve."

"There were fireworks
in the sky,

"and everyone else in Berlin
was celebrating. "

(WATER DRIPPING)

(WATER DRIPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

(RHYTHM CHANGES)

(EXCLAIMING)

(BOTH SHOUTING)

(COUGHING)

(EXCLAIMING)

RACHEL: What's so important?
Where are we going?

We're going to
David's apartment.

David?

I know he came
to see you yesterday.

What's this? The jealous ex-husband
or the intelligence officer?

What did he want?

He told me that he'd been traveling,
that he'd been teaching.

We spoke for a few minutes,
and then I had to go.

If you don't believe me,
ask him yourself.

(SOBBING)

(RACHEL SOBBING)

Why did he do it?

(SNIFFLES)

STEPHAN: My car
is waiting outside.

Come down!

(MAN ANNOUNCING ON PA)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(MAN SPEAKING)

(LAUGHS)

(BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN)

- I'm David.
- I'm Rachel.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Stephan.
This is Rachel.

(PLAYING WEDDING MARCH)

- Where do I sleep?
- You're in my room.

I'm moving in with him.
You're at the end there.

STEPHAN: What do you think
of your new wife?

- She's too young.
STEPHAN: Very pretty.

You didn't notice.

You know what
I've noticed?

You don't notice women.
I've noticed that.

How long have
I known you?

I don't know.

Two years.

All the places we've been to,
you never look at women.

Is there anything you have to tell
me before I get into that bed?

(LAUGHS)

I think
you just noticed.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Yes?

Now from behind.

Where have you come from?

Argentina.

- Really? Whereabouts?
- Córdoba.

What were you
doing there?

My husband is an
industrial chemist.

He does look
like a chemist.

STEPHAN: She's not going
to break, David. Move.

What were you
doing before this?

Before Argentina
we lived in Hungary,

where my husband
studied chemistry.

In Mossad,
what did you do?

Liaison.

And what did you
do in Liaison?

Translator.

Translator?

So, first time
in the field?

Good. That's good.

Welcome to the mission.

(BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN)

(NURSE SPEAKING GERMAN)

(PHONE RINGING)

(MAN ANSWERS PHONE)

(MAN CHATTERING IN GERMAN)

(WATER RUNNING)

(INSTRUMENTS CLATTERING)

(BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN)

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

(BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN)

STEPHAN: The West
Berlin Transit System.

When the Wall was built, some
stations ended up on the wrong side,

in the Eastern sector.

They're closed and
guarded by soldiers.

They will shoot to kill
to prevent any escape.

This is where
we get him out.

It's a ghost station.

West Berlin trains pass through
the station on this track,

...but don't stop.
STEPHAN: Usually.

One, two, three, four...

Fourteen seconds
per train.

The station is guarded
at all times.

And the stairs to the
platform are sealed off

Our train driver makes an
unscheduled stop under the bridge.

The last two carriages will be around here.
They will be empty.

Once the train is stopped, the guards
won't be able to see this fence,

or anything that
happens beyond it.

And on the other side of the
fence is a postal depot.

The vans come and
go all day long.

DAVID: We 're just one more
van with one more parcel.

And once
we're in West Berlin,

there will be transport
to Tempelhof air base,

and a private
charter to Israel.

That's the wrapping.
Now all we need is the present.

(GASPING)

Try this on.

How does it feel?

Very nice.

Here you are a Mossad agent,
all those years of training,

the highest levels of
marksmanship and krav maga,

and your first big
mission is sewing.

Black belt
in dressmaking

I never argue with
an armed woman.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Sorry.

(MUSIC AND CHATTERING
ON RADIO)

What is it?

- It doesn't have a name.
- Shit.

Now it does.

(LAUGHS)

Today is my birthday.

RACHEL:...and study the Mishnah.
At 15, you study the Talmud.

By 18, stand under
the wedding canopy.

We're too late
for all of those.

You're 29? In your 20s, you have
to pursue your life's goals.

What are you
pursuing, Rachel?

I don't know.
I'm waiting to find out.

Youth.

What about you, old man?
Have you got a goal?

Yes, we believe
in goals in my family.

We're very driven men.

My father was Director of
Collections by the time he was 50.

So what's your goal?

Director of Collections by 40.

What about you, David?
What life goal are you pursuing?

This is it.

This is it?
This is all you want?

No, tell me.
What do you want out of life?

I want to get Vogel.

I want him to be put on trial,
and I want the world to watch

so everyone knows
what he did.

I want them all
to know the truth.

And I want another drink.

Forget about it.

Forget about what?

I've spent two years with
him and I don't know him.

Nobody knows him.

He's alone.

What about family?

All of them?

All of them.

Maybe it's not always
a blessing to survive.

(BOTH SPEAKING GERMAN)

Frau Roget.

Are you all right?

His identity's confirmed.
We have a green light.

The day after tomorrow.

It's a brave thing
you're doing.

I'm not brave.

I'm terrified.

But you're doing it anyway because
you know how important it is.

David...

(PLAYING SONATA HESITANTLY)

(MAN CHATTERING ON RADIO)

(STOPS PLAYING)

(PLAYING SONATA FLUENTLY)

It's whiskey.

You're so beautiful.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(STRANGLED SCREAM)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(NURSE SPEAKING GERMAN)

(MAN ON PHONE
SPEAKING GERMAN)

(HONKING)

(NURSE SPEAKING)

(CRYING)

(SIREN WAILING)

(RACHEL SPEAKING)

(NURSE SPEAKING)

(STEPHAN SPEAKING)

(GUARD CALLING OUT)

(TRAIN APPROACHING)

(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)

(PHONE RINGING)

(CHATTERING)

(TRAIN APPROACHING)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(RACHEL SPEAKING)

(GUARDS CHATTERING)

(GUARD SPEAKING GERMAN)

(VAN HORN SOUNDING
CONTINUOUSLY)

We have to get him on the train.
Help me with him.

(GUARD SPEAKING GERMAN)

(GUARD 2 SPEAKING GERMAN)

We're going! Now!

Not without her.

(GUARD 2 SHOUTING)

(ALARM BLARING)

Go! Go!

Jump!

Down!

STEPHAN: Is he dead?
RACHEL: Who?

The guard. The one who saw your face.
Is he dead?

No.

STEPHAN: How did Vogel come round?
How the fuck did that happen?

You gave him
the full injection?

Did you give him
the full injection?

I don't know.
I thought I did!

We failed our mission.

It's not over.

STEPHAN: We failed our country.
We failed our families!

We still have him!
It's not over!

We still have him!

(DOOR OPENING)

You made contact?

(SIGHING)

Is there a plan?

What did they say?

It's going to take time.

They need to open
up a new route.

They need to find
political help.

They're going to
try the Americans.

So, we work in shifts
guarding him.

We feed him at the
end of each shift.

We take him back alive.

You've been seen.
You don't leave the house.

DAVID: We can do this.

We'll take him
back to Israel.

We'll show the world
what he did.

(VOGEL SCREAMING)

(SHOUTING ANGRILY)

(ALARM RINGING)

(VOGEL MUTTERING ANGRILY)

STEPHAN: Fuck.

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

(EXHALING HEAVILY)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(ALARM RINGING)

(RINGING STOPS)

You can't talk to him.

I didn't say anything.

- You can't listen to him.
- I know.

I'm not angry,
I'm just telling you.

We don't talk to him.
We don't listen to him.

He isn't there.
He isn't a human being.

We've been given a date.

Ten days' time.
The Americans are going to help.

Good.

No.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(VOMITING)

(GASPS)

(WAILING SIREN APPROACHING)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(IN ENGLISH) You should try
lemons, for the morning sickness.

They say it helps.

What's your name?

Hannah? Sarah?
Rachel? Esther?

You Jews stay close
to your roots, don't you?

It's a good thing.

Very good.

I understand you perfectly.

You weren't lying
at the clinic

when you told me about
your mother, were you?

About her death?

I'm very sorry
for your loss.

- What happened?
- Nothing. Nothing.

What's the matter?

- He can understand us.
- What?

He just spoke to me.

He knows what we're saying.
He knows what we're thinking.

It's all right. It's all right.
This will be over soon.

Why didn't you go?

At the station. You could have got away.
Why didn't you?

(DOOR OPENING)

What did they say?

DAVID: Stephan?

It's not happening.

What the fuck
does that mean?

The Americans
have pulled out.

Has he been fed?

- Oh, God.
STEPHAN: Did you feed him?

- What's the plan now?
- We just need to get him to the air base.

I'm asking you.
What's the...

I'm talking to her!

Supposedly
it's her shift now,

but instead of doing what
she's supposed to be doing,

she's out here with you.

Now, answer the fucking question!
Did you feed him?

Yes, I fed him.

There's no plan.
There's no fucking plan!

The police are everywhere.
They're searching houses.

We killed a man, and now the
Americans want to pull out.

They won't have
anything to do with us.

It's a fucking mess and they're backing
away from it as quickly as they can.

No.
They can't leave us.

Yes, they can.

Because we fucked it up.

We fucked it all up,
and now we're on our own!

No.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(WHISPERING)
Were you followed?

Could you
have been?

Stephan.

- Stephan.
- Stephan.

STEPHAN:
If it's them, he dies.

- Move!
- You're not doing this.

He's not getting away
from me. Move.

- This isn't the mission.
- Move!

- You are not doing this.
- Get out of the way.

DAVID: This isn't what
we came for.

I decide what
the mission is.

We're finishing this.

Get out of the
fucking way!

It was the lady from
the basement apartment.

She invited us
to a New Year's Eve party.

DAVID: We'll get out.

They'll come up
with another plan.

(SINGING GERMAN
NATIONAL ANTHEM)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(LAUGHING)

(EXCLAIMING)

What are you doing?

It's your shift.

- Did you know about this?
- About what?

His mouth is taped.
You want him to suffocate?

I was sick of seeing his face.
Go back in there.

You don't do it again.

You don't
give orders, David.

It's your shift now.
So go back in there. Go on.

Stop it!

We're not animals.

You remember what we are.

You remember
what we are not.

- What are you doing?
- I have to get out.

You can't.

Get out of my way,
please. I'm going out.

She wants to go out.

A few minutes.
I won't be seen!

- Tell him, David. I just want to walk.
STEPHAN: Rachel...

You can't go out.

I just want some air!
I can't breathe!

Rachel...

(CRYING) Get off me!

Thank you, David.

If I had a choice, I would
prefer Rachel to feed me.

So gentle.

In another life, the makings
of a nurse, I think.

How is she today?

You should let her
get more rest.

It's a dangerous time, the first
month or two of the pregnancy.

You didn't know.

And you're not the father.

I thought it would be you.
I thought... I don't know.

The way you look at her.

The way she looks at you.
That must be hard.

I wouldn't have taken
Stephan as a family man.

Too ambitious, too...
I don't know.

Whereas you, David,
I see you with children.

Shut up.

I'm expressing my sympathy
for your sufferings.

What does a monster like you
know about suffering?

I'm a doctor, David.

You blind children trying to
change the color of their eyes.

You inject people
with petrol.

You replace hands and legs
and you watch as they...

This isn't medicine.
This is sickness.

This is disease.

So we were all insane?
Is that the answer?

There is no answer.
I'm not looking for an answer.

I'm not looking to...

You're trembling.

I think you're the one
that is afraid, David.

Afraid of the monster.

Boo!

(LAUGHING)

Why do you think it was so easy
to exterminate you people?

Your weakness.

I saw it.
Every day I saw it.

Every one of them thinking only
of how to avoid being flogged,

or kicked or killed.

Every one thinking
only of themselves.

Why do you think it
only took four soldiers

to lead a thousand people
to the gas chambers?

Because not one out of thousands
had the courage to resist.

Not one would
sacrifice himself.

Not even when
we took their children away.

So I knew then that you
people had no right to live.

You had no right...

(SCREAMS)

STEPHAN: Are you going
to be all right? - Yeah.

Out!

(DOOR OPENING)

Out!

(DOOR SLAMS)

(WATER DRIPPING RHYTHMICALLY)

(RHYTHM CHANGES)

(EXCLAIMING)

(BOTH SHOUTING)

(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)

Nothing. Not a trace.
Nothing at all.

He might go to the house,
try and get a message...

He's not going
to the house!

He's gone!

Fifteen years
it took to find him.

He's gone and no one's
ever going to find him again.

So we what?
Are you going to make the phone call?

Are you going to tell them how he
got a fucking piece of broken bowl?

Wonderful. Don't try
and take me down with you.

I've done nothing wrong!

Remember that. This can't happen!
This is never going to go away!

It's my fault.

It was my shift.

This happened
because of me.

I let him go.

And no one's ever
going to find him again.

STEPHAN: No one's ever
going to find him again.

What if he didn't escape?

What are you
talking about?

Only four people know
what happened in this room,

us and him,
and he's not talking.

No one will ever
hear from him again.

No.

Nobody needs to know
what happened.

He escaped.

That's the truth.

But that doesn't have to be
the truth we take home.

The truth can be anything
we want it to be.

The truth is Vogel
tried to escape.

You struggled with him
and got hurt.

The truth is seconds
before he got away,

Rachel got the gun
and shot him.

The truth is we got rid of him.
Got rid of the body.

Got rid of every trace
of the Surgeon of Birkenau.

We can't lie about this.

No, you know what?
We have to. We have to!

This isn't about us.
This is about Israel.

This is a national
humiliation!

We can't be seen to fail!

And in the end, Vogel rots
away his life in some jungle,

always looking over his
shoulder, waiting for a bullet.

Who's to say? Maybe that's a worse fate.
Maybe that's...

The important thing
is justice.

Justice is seen to be done.

DAVID: He's gone.

What does it matter?
He's gone.

He's right! It makes no difference.
No difference!

All we have to agree is that
we never talk about this.

No matter what happens,
we never tell anyone.

The truth stays in this
room, between us. Agreed?

Say it.
I need to hear you say it.

Say it.

Agreed.

David.

STEPHAN: Rachel, say it.

It's an oath.

Say it.

Say it.

(PEOPLE COUNTING DOWN)

How could this happen?
You said he would never speak!

You said he would
never be heard from.

We don't know it's him!

Oh, God.

If you read it,
you'll see that...

He's alive!
He's in the Ukraine!

What else is there to read?

STEPHAN: It's a little
Internet story.

Psychiatric patient claiming
to be the Surgeon of Birkenau!

Some crazy old man.

How did you find it?

David comes back after all
this time, I want to know why,

I have his
apartment searched,

we find that
on his computer.

Did he say anything
to you about it last night?

Rachel,
did he say anything?

Why? Why did
he kill himself?

Because
he couldn't handle it.

I told him
we had to deal with it,

and he couldn't handle it.

He thought the whole story would
come out and he panicked.

"Deal with it"?

What does that mean?
"Deal with it."

I told him to find Vogel.

I told him to finish it.

Did you know
he'd been ill?

You did, didn't you?
You knew he'd been ill. You knew it!

Fuck David.

You knew that he
wasn't strong enough!

He took the
coward's way out.

You could have
just left it alone!

It was an old man
in a hospital.

Nobody would have believed it.
Nobody would be listening.

There's a journalist
from a newspaper in Kiev.

Yuri Titov.

He heard about the story and
he wants to interview Vogel.

Then it all falls apart.

We don't know which hospital he's
in, but the journalist does.

You have to find
out where he is.

What are you talking about?

David has taken himself out of
the equation, I can't do it.

You're the only one left.

Are you insane?

- We can't...
- Well, I can't do it. I can't!

Look at me.
I'm not capable.

I haven't been an agent
for 30 years.

You're insane.
No, I can't do it!

You have to do it, Rachel.

Because for 30 years you've
been taking the credit for it.

And there's Sarah.

I'm not doing this!

Fuck!

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

I knew
this would happen.

I knew we'd be punished.
I knew we'd have to pay.

I thought I'd been
punished already.

God doesn't
plant car bombs.

I wasn't referring
to the wheelchair.

If I could go back, Rachel,
I would change it all.

But there's one thing
I would never change.

She isn't going
to find out.

She can never find out.

Come down!

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(REPLYING IN RUSSIAN)

At that moment, when I
was lying on the floor,

I don't think I was thinking
about myself at all.

I was thinking
about my mother.

I was thinking about how she had
suffered in Europe during the war.

The same question
to Mr. Peretz.

STEPHAN:
Fuck him.

Fuck him.

Hurry up.

Go to bed, Sarah.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Welcome.

You both look so beautiful.
I'm spoiled for choice.

Are we still
on for Sunday?

My own party, and you're
the only friend I have.

All Stephan's friends.

Stephan's girlfriends.

Don't even think
he's interested in them.

He's just trying
to punish me.

For what?

Everything.

For getting pregnant.
For not loving him.

For you, David.

I thought the silence was for
the soldiers, not for me.

David, I'm talking to you.

I'm leaving.

What? Leaving Mossad?

Yeah, Mossad. Israel.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

Greece at first,
and then I don't know.

- When?
- Tonight.

Don't be crazy.

Rachel...

Don't be crazy. Tonight?
Why would you?

Rachel... Rachel...

- You can't leave. You can't just...
- I have to.

- Why?
- Because I can't do this anymore.

Any of this.

If I stay...

I don't know.

This is about today.
About the talks?

Don't do them anymore.
Stephan doesn't...

Come with me.

What?

Come with me.

I can't.

You can.

You can.

Such a beautiful
photograph, Rachel.

It's beautiful.
You look like a pair of angels.

WOMAN:
She's so lovely, Stephan.

You like it?
I took that one.

MAN: Good to know you
have another career.

In case you
fall from favor.

STEPHAN: It could be
sooner than you think.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Rachel, will you come
and say hello to Michael?

He was asking after you.

Yes.

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(ALARM BEEPING)

(BEEPS)

Oh, no.

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(LAUGHING)

(WOMAN MOANING)

RACHEL:
I'll tell you something,

at that moment
when I was on the floor,

I didn't think
about myself at all.

I was thinking about my mother and
what she had suffered in Europe.

And I think that was what gave
me the strength to get up again.

RACHEL: Does Stephan
know you're here?

DAVID: I expect so.

Things became
very bad between us.

What are you
doing here, David?

(ZIPPING UP PANTS)

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

RACHEL: He's in the
Babenko Hospital.

It's just outside
of Vinnycja.

About 250 kilometers
southwest of you.

What name is
he going under?

Ivan Schevchuk.
He's the right age.

And when is Titov
supposed to interview him?

Tomorrow.
And he knows what I look like.

This will be over soon.
And when...

RACHEL: What are you
doing here, David?

DAVID: Have you
met anyone else?

There was someone,
but he went away.

And I never heard
from him again.

I wrote you letters.

But you never sent them.

- Rachel...
- What is it, 25 years?

- I wanted to see you.
- All that time and not a word.

I was ill for a
long time, Rachel.

I was in a kind
of hospital.

- Where?
- In Mexico.

What were you
doing in Mexico?

I traveled a lot.
South America, North Africa. I kept moving.

Looking for him.

Why?

What would you have done
if you had have found him?

I would have
told the truth.

I would have gone to
a newspaper and said,

"This is the
Surgeon of Birkenau. "

And I could finally
have seen him face trial.

And what would have
happened to us?

We'd be free.

Whatever happened to us,

it seemed to me
we would be free.

Don't you agree?

Aren't you tired of lying?

If you had found him, isn't
that what you would have done?

Maybe.

Twenty years ago.

But now?

Anyway, it isn't
just us, there's Sarah.

She hasn't done
anything wrong.

She wrote a book.
Did you know that?

Yes.

If the truth were to come out
now, it would destroy her.

So no. I would not
have told the truth.

But you never found him.

No, I never did.

The book launch
is tomorrow.

Could you come?
I don't know if Stephan...

What if we could go back?

If I had waited for you.
If you had come.

Would it be different?

We can't go back.

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

(WOMAN SPEAKING)

(GROANING)

- Yes?
RACHEL: It isn't him.

Wait a second.

This is a family matter, if you'd
give me a moment, please. Thank you.

- You're sure?
- It isn't him.

It's some old man
who's heard about him.

Thank God.

Thank God, this is wonderful.
This is...

And you're okay, Rachel?

- You were wrong.
- Well, thank God I was...

About David.

You were wrong about him.

About David?

He didn't kill himself because he was
afraid the story might come out.

When he came to see me,
he was asking for something.

What?

My permission.

And I didn't give it.

I wouldn't let him
tell the truth,

and he was tired
of living with a lie.

Truth is a luxury, Rachel.

Some people have to
put other things first,

their country, their
people, their children.

Sarah is so proud
of you, Rachel.

I want her to
be proud of me.

Of course you do.

I want to do something
to make her proud of me.

Vogel must have
been here, Stephan.

- Rachel...
- People have to know the truth, Stephan.

- Rachel, listen to me.
- Goodbye.

MAN: Sir, the Cabinet
meeting has started.

Yeah.

(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)

Why did you come?

Why did you have to come?

Was it Schevchuk?

I know I shouldn't
have talked to him.

I can stop him.
I won't tell him anymore.

(SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

(SCREAMS)

(WHIMPERING)

(GASPING)

"My name is Rachel Singer.

"Please publish what
you are about to read.

"In 1965,

"I was part of a mission
to kidnap Dieter Vogel,

"the Surgeon of Birkenau,

"and bring him to
Israel to stand trial.

"We have always claimed that Vogel
was killed trying to escape.

"But this was a lie.

"A lie I have lived
with for 30 years.

"And now I understand
that I must tell the truth. "