Original subtitles

[ Caws ]

[ Caws ]

[ Thunderclap ]

?? ONE TWO THREE ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN THAT'S WHAT I AM ??

?? I'M HERE TO DO WHATEVER I CAN ??

?? BE IT EARLY MORNING LATE AFTERNOON ??

?? OR AT MIDNIGHT IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ??

?? TO WANT TO PLEASE YOU TO WANT TO KEEP YOU ??

?? I WANT TO DO IT ALL ALL FOR YOU ??

?? I WANT TO BE YOUR BE YOUR RUBBER BALL ??

?? I WANT TO BE THE ONE YOU LOVE MOST OF ALL ??

?? OH, YEAH ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? TURN ME ON ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? TURN ME ON ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN THAT'S WHAT I AM ??

?? I'M HERE TO DO WHATEVER I CAN ??

?? BE IT EARLY MORNING LATE AFTERNOON ??

?? OR AT MIDNIGHT IT'S NEVER TOO SOON ??

?? TO WANT TO TAKE YOU TO WANT TO HOLD YOU ??

?? I WANT TO GIVE MY ALL ALL TO YOU ??

?? AND I WANT YOU TO COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND ??

?? JUST WHERE I'M AT AND WHERE I AM ??

?? OH, YEAH ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? TURN ME ON ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? TURN ME ON ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN ??

?? I'LL DO WHAT YOU WANT ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN UH-HUH ??

?? I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN UH-HUH, WHOO ????

[ TV Show Host ] FILE THIS UNDER AMAZING STORIES, MY FRIENDS.

[ Thunderclap ]

IT SEEMS THAT THE NATIONAL ORGANIZATION OF WOMEN,

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS NOW, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS LESBIANS FOND OF PLAID,

HAVE CHOSEN ONCE AGAIN TO TAKE ISSUE WITH YOURS TRULY.

THESE ANGRY FEMINISTS,

AND I SAY ANGRY FEMINISTS...

LIKE THERE'S SOME OTHER KIND,

ARE OBSESSED--

SHOULD WE BE HELPING HER ? WE SHOULD BE HELPING HER. SO START HELPING HER.

YOU DON'T NEED US. WHY DON'T YOU HELP HER ?

WHY DON'T I CARRY YOUR SLIPPERS IN MY MOUTH ? THAT'S AN ANSWER ?

YOU DON'T HELP HER, YOU DON'T HELP US.

WE'LL HAVE THE APPETIZERS WHILE WE WAIT FOR PETE AND WHAT'S HER NAME.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY SALSA, SO WE HAVE TO DIP IN HUMMUS. SORRY.

I DON'T CARE. THANK YOU, PAULIE.

WHAT WE NEED IN THIS COUNTRY, MY FRIENDS, IS LEADERSHIP.

SOMEONE WHO CAN STAND UP TO THE LIBERALS.

WE NEED A RETURN, GODDARNIT,

OF THE PROMISE OF THE REAGAN-BUSH YEARS,

A TIME OF UNEQUALED GROWTH IN THIS COUNTRY.

[ Audience ] WE NEED NORMAN !

WELL, CAREFUL, FOLKS. YOU JUST MIGHT GET ME.

[ Audience ] NORMAN ! NORMAN ! NORMAN !

PLEASE. COULD WE GET THIS IDIOT OUT OF OUR LIVING ROOM ?

HE'S A MORON. HONEY, HE'S A GENIUS.

HERE'S A GUY WHO CAN TAKE ANY ISSUE, TURN IT INTO A NATIONAL DEBATE.

HE TELLS LIES BETTER THAN MOST PEOPLE TELL THE TRUTH.

PLEASE. IT'S ALWAYS GOOD TO KEEP TRACK OF WHAT THE ENEMY IS DOING.

A STORM IS BREWING, MY FRIENDS. SOMEONE HAS TO STOP IT.

WELL, IT'S MY TV.

THAT WAS TRULY PUERILE.

[ Sighs ]

OKAY.

SO, WHO'S PETE BRINGING ? JENNY TYLER.

NOT FUNNY. THE KIDNAPPED GIRL ? THAT'S FUNNY.

IT'S VERY FUNNY. IT'S JUST TASTELESS.

[ Horn Beeps ]

THAT'S THEM.

IS IT ME, OR DOES SOMEONE AROUND HERE NEED TO GET LAID ? YEAH, ME.

[ Woman ] I'M AVAILABLE. TALK TO HER !

WHAT HAPPENED ? DON'T ASK. CINDY STOOD ME UP AGAIN.

THEN MY FUCKING BENZ-- NO GUEST ?

NOT EXACTLY. ZACK ?

ZACK, THIS IS MARC. OH, HEY.

MARC, THIS IS ZACK.

ZACK PICKED ME UP IN HIS PICKUP TRUCK.

WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY MERCEDES AGAIN ? CRACKED MANIFOLD.

NO SHIT ?

YEAH. MY WALLET.

WHAT DO YOU NEED, LIKE, UH-- TWENTY.

THANK YOU, ZACK. THANKS. I DON'T USUALLY TAKE CHARITY.

WELL, I'LL BE SEEING YOU GUYS.

NO. WAIT. COME BACK. STAY FOR DINNER.

WHY DON'T YOU STAY FOR DINNER ? WE'RE EXPECTING A GUEST.

WE GOT A PLACE SET. IT'S PISSING OUT.

I DON'T WANNA BE ANY TROUBLE. NO. NO. PLEASE.

IT'S HORRIBLE OUT. YOU HELPED US OUT. COME ON. ALL RIGHT ?

WHAT ARE YOU HAVIN' ? LASAGNA.

YEAH ? YEAH.

I CAN EAT THAT. COOL.

[ Police Dispatcher ] DO YOU COPY ? OVER.

[ Woman ] PETE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A NEW CAR ?

I LOVE MY CAR. YOUR FOLKS CAN GIVE YOU ANOTHER HAND-ME-DOWN MERCEDES.

[ Pete ] NO, JUDE. IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A NEW CAR.

TWITCHY WAS LOOKING FOR YOU IN THE QUAD TODAY.

NO WAY ? YES, WAY.

HE HAD THAT BIG BOOTY BUTT, YOU KNOW.

NO. HE WASN'T LOOKING FOR ME.

EXCUSE ME.

AREN'T Y'ALL FORGETTIN' SOMETHING ?

OH, WE EAT OUR SALAD AFTER THE MAIN COURSE, EUROPEAN STYLE.

NO, I MEAN GRACE. WE DON'T SAY GRACE.

YOU DON'T WANNA THANK SOMEBODY...

FOR PUTTIN' THIS NICE FOOD ON YOUR TABLE ?

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Saying Grace, Indistinct ]

I HOPE YOU PUT IN A GOOD WORD FOR US HEATHENS.

WELL, I DID, BUT I DON'T THINK HE HEARD.

[ Laughter ]

SO, ZACK, DO YOU LIVE AROUND HERE ?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I LIVE ?

I'M JUST MAKING CONVERSATION.

YOU SEE, EVERY SUNDAY FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW...

WE'VE BEEN INVITING A GUEST OVER FOR DINNER AND DISCUSSION.

WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT ?

EVERYTHING. LIFE. CURRENT EVENTS.

THE ENVIRONMENT. THE LAW.

WELL, I DON'T LIVE ANYWHERES AROUND HERE.

I DRIVE A TRUCK.

ZACK WAS TELLING ME ON THE WAY OVER HERE...

THAT HE'S ACTUALLY DRIVEN THROUGH ALL 48 CONTERMINOUS STATES.

UM, WOW. FASCINATING.

SO, UH, YOU ALL COLLEGE STUDENTS OR SOMETHING ?

[ Paulie ] WE'RE GRAD STUDENTS. WHAT'S THAT ?

OH, IT MEANS WE-- WE'VE GRADUATED.

WE'RE EARNING OUR MASTERS DEGREES.

I'M GONNA BE A MASTER PAINTER. [ Pete ] MASTER LAWYER.

MASTURBATOR. [ Laughter ]

JUST PLAIN MASTER.

- I'M STUDYING SOCIAL WORK. - JUDE IS ACTUALLY CONTINUING STUDIES IN, UH--

WHAT IS IT THIS WEEK ?

PSYCHOLOGY. THANK YOU.

[ Zack ] YOU PAINT THOSE PICTURES THERE ?

UH-HUH. MARC WANTS TO BE A TIME TRAVELER.

TIME TRAVELER ?

YOU KNOW, GO BACK IN TIME TO CHANGE HISTORY.

WHAT IF THE CONFEDERACY HAD A LIQUID METAL GUY ?

OR WHAT IF EISENHOWER WAS A GIRL ?

AND WHAT DO YOU DO AGAIN ?

DON'T YOU KNOW ? I'M A PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYER.

YOU MAKIN' FUN OF ME ?

NO. NO. OF COURSE NOT.

I'M GETTING MY Ph.D. IN POLITICAL SCIENCE, ZACK.

THAT MEANS I'M GOING TO BE A DOCTOR.

ZACK, HAVE YOU ALWAYS DRIVEN A TRUCK ?

NO.

I WAS IN THE MARINES.

I WAS IN THE WAR.

WAR ? WHAT WAR ?

DESERT STORM. WAS THAT REALLY A WAR ?

I JUST THOUGHT THAT WAS A REPUBLICAN COMMERCIAL CAMPAIGN.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH PATRIOTISM ?

AS A CONCEPT ? NO.

WELL, I LOVE MY COUNTRY, AND I'LL FIGHT ANYONE THAT SAYS DIFFERENT.

WHO IS JOEY GOEBBELS, 1933 ? [ Buzzes ]

NOW, SERIOUSLY, I DON'T THINK THE GERMANS WERE ACTUALLY PATRIOTIC.

I THINK IT WAS A HYSTERICAL WAVE OF NATIONALISM. SAME THING.

PATRIOTISM LEADS TO NATIONALISM.

NO. NOT TRUE. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

WHICH ONE HAD THE-- THE DESIGNATED HITTER RULE ?

THE AMERICAN LEAGUE. I JUST WANT TO KNOW.

HITLER HAD THE RIGHT IDEA.

EXCUSE ME ?

THAT WAS AN EXTRAORDINARY STATEMENT, ZACK.

I'M NOT SAYIN' THAT KILLIN' JEWS WAS RIGHT.

IF HE REALLY DID, I MEAN. THERE'S NO REAL PROOF, YOU KNOW.

UM, HE KILLED SIX MILLION JEWS.

AND MILLIONS OF GYPSIES AND CATHOLICS.

[ Zack ] ALL NUMBERS, REALLY. NOBODY CAN PROVE IT.

FUNNY, AIN'T IT ?

WHEN IT COMES TO BUYIN' SHIT, THE JEWS ARE ALWAYS BRINGIN' THE NUMBERS DOWN.

"TWO THOUSAND FOR THIS OLD CAR ? I'LL GIVE YOU 1,200, TOPS." RIGHT ?

WHEN IT COMES TO WW2, THEY'RE ALWAYS PUSHIN' THE NUMBERS UP.

FIRST IT'S SIX MILLION. THEN IT'S SEVEN MILLION.

[ Pete ] WHY DON'T WE CHANGE THE SUBJECT ?

YEAH. DO YOU LIKE THE LASAGNA ?

NO, I WANNA HEAR THIS. I WANNA-- WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, IN YOUR VASTLY FINITE WISDOM,

THAT HITLER HAD THE RIGHT IDEA ABOUT ?

WELL, IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT THE JEWS, NO OFFENSE,

WERE STEALING MONEY FROM THE GERMAN PEOPLE JUST LIKE THEY DO HERE NOW.

REALLY ? OH, YEAH. IT'S A FACT.

FIRST OF ALL THE JEWS WERE GERMANS.

NOW, COME ON. JEWS AIN'T LIKE THAT. NO. NO.

COME ON. JEWS AIN'T LIKE THAT.

IT'S ALWAYS BEIN' A JEW FIRST. OH, I SEE.

THAT'S WHY EVERYBODY HATES 'EM. EVERYBODY DOES NOT HATE THE JEWS.

YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO CAN READ.

MARC, YOU'RE A JEW, RIGHT ?

RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.

IF THE U.S. WAS TO GO TO WAR AGAINST ISRAEL,

WHO WOULD YOU FIGHT FOR ?

WELL, I GUESS THAT WOULD BE THE SIDE THAT PAID ME THE MOST.

HOW 'BOUT YOU, LUKE ?

IF THE U.S. WAS TO FIGHT AFRICA--

AFRICA'S A CONTINENT, ZACK. YEAH, I KNOW THAT.

WHICH SIDE WOULD YOU TAKE ?

WELL, WHAT IF THE U.S. WENT TO WAR...

AGAINST WHATEVER LOUISIANA SWAMP YOU COME FROM ?

[ Luke ] HOW'S THAT FOR HEAVY ?

CALLING PEOPLE NAMES. THAT AIN'T POLITE.

OF COURSE, THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE TROUBLE WITH COLORED PEOPLE.

QUICK TEMPER.

[ Thunderclap ]

EXCUSE ME ?

MY GRANDFATHER USED TO SAY...

IF WE KNEW YOU BOYS WERE GONNA BE SO MUCH TROUBLE,

WE'D JUST PICK THE DAMNED COTTON OURSELVES.

AM I CONSCIOUS ?

- THAT'S A YES. - WHY DON'T WE JUST EAT ?

FINE WITH ME. AM I HERE ?

GRAD STUDENTS. SHIT.

YOU ALL DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING ANYWAY.

YEAH, ZACK, I'M SURE YOU'RE MUCH SMARTER THAN WE ARE.

CHRIST. I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL ARE.

YOU'RE A BUNCH OF DAMNED LIBERALS. WHAT ARE YOU, A NAZI ?

OR IS THAT TOO FAR TO THE LEFT ?

HA-HA-HA.

YOU ALL THINK YOU'RE SO SMART, DON'T YOU ? HUH ?

YOU ALL JUST SIT BACK AND WHINE AND COMPLAIN LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO,

BUT YOU DON'T DO NOTHIN'.

A WAR COMES UP. DO YOU FIGHT ?

HELL, NO. YOU PROTEST. PROTEST CAN BE A POWERFUL THING.

PROTEST IS FOR PUSSIES.

TRY FIGHTIN' FOR SOMETHIN', PUTTIN' YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE...

BEFORE YOU START TALKIN' TO ME ABOUT POWERFUL THINGS.

YOU LEFT-WINGERS MAKE ME WANNA PUKE.

NEVER TAKE A REAL STAND,

A STAND THAT YOU'D BE WILLIN' TO-- [ Luke ] DIE FOR.

NO, BOY. DYING'S EASY.

AIN'T NOTHIN' HEROIC ABOUT DYIN'.

BUT IF YOU CAN TAKE A STAND FOR SOMETHIN' YOU'D KILL FOR, THAT'S SOMETHIN'--

SOMETHIN' SPECIAL.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE NOW, ZACK.

I'M FIXIN' TO, DON'T WORRY.

ONE OF THESE DAYS ALL YOU BLEEDIN' HEARTS...

ARE GONNA LEARN THAT WE'RE RIGHT.

US PEOPLE WITH JOBS, I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. REAL PEOPLE.

WE DO ALL THE FIGHTIN' AND WORKIN' AND DYIN' AND YOU DO ALL THE BITCHIN'.

[ Scoffs ] GRAD STUDENTS.

I'M GLAD YOU ALL DON'T JOIN UP.

YOU WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO, WOULD YOU ? GUESS NOT.

[ Pete ] WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, ZACK ?

I AIN'T GONNA HURT HIM. I'M GONNA SHOW YOU ALL A LITTLE EXPERIMENT.

OKAY, ZACK. WE GET YOUR POINT.

FUCK YOU ALL. I FOUGHT FOR MY COUNTRY. I KILLED FOR MY COUNTRY.

ALL THE WHILE YOU GUYS WERE LAUGHIN' BACK HERE, HOPIN' WE'D FALL ON OUR FACES.

- PLEASE, STOP IT ! -[ Jude ] CALM DOWN, ZACK.

FUCK YOU ! LOOK AT YOUR BUDDY HERE. SCARED WHITE.

WELL, BLUE EYES, A GUY'S HOLDIN' A KNIFE AT YOUR THROAT,

TELLIN' YOU HE'S GONNA KILL YA.

YEAH, HE'S GONNA KILL YA.

THEN I'M GONNA RAPE YOUR PRETTY GIRLFRIEND BEFORE I KILL HER TOO.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, KIKE ? BARGAIN WITH ME ?

HUH ?

[ Gasping ]

JESUS.

GET THIS BOY SOME BALLS.

UHH ! [ Paulie Gasps ]

THAT SHUT YOU UP, HUH ? HUH, WAR HERO ?

YOU THINK YOU CAN COME IN HERE AND BULLY US ?

HUH ? YOU THREATEN WOMEN ?

SOME WAR ! US AGAINST SOME THIRD-WORLD COUNTRY.

PUSHING BUTTONS AND SMART-BOMBING CHIMNEYS.

[ Laughs ]

SO, TOUGH GUY. WHAT DID YOU TRAIN ON ?

NINTENDO ? [ Chuckles ]

I BET YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET OFF THE BOAT, YOU IGNORANT FUCK !

YOU FINISHED, RICH BOY ?

[ Yells ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

HEY, SOFT HANDS.

STOP IT ! YOU'RE HURTING HIM !

[ Yells ]

HE'S A TOUGH GUY. HE CAN TAKE IT.

[ Screaming ] [ Bone Snapping ] [ Pete Screams ]

I DIDN'T MEAN TO-- [ Screaming ]

OH, MY--

[ Belches ]

[ Screaming, Yelling ]

[ Pete ] OH ! OH !

IS HE REALLY DEAD ?

[ Jude ] YES, PAULIE ! IT IS A SIDE EFFECT OF A KNIFE IN THE BACK !

-[ Paulie ] OH, CHRIST ! - NOWYOU FIND RELIGION.

SHUT UP ! LOOK AT ALL THIS BLOOD ! THAT WAS SELF-DEFENSE.

HE WASN'T HURTING YOU !

[ Pete ] OH, MY FUCKING ARM ! HE BROKE MY ARM !

[ Jude ] AM I AN ACCOMPLICE ? LET'S JUST GET OURSELVES TOGETHER NOW.

A LITTLE LATE TO BE GETTING RATIONAL, DON'T YOU THINK ?

I HAD TO DO SOMETHING. THE REST OF YOU JUST SAT THERE.

- HE BROKE MY FUCKING ARM ! - HE BROKE HIS FUCKING ARM !

- HE WAS A RIGHT-WING ASSHOLE. - THAT'S STILL NO EXCUSE TO KILL A PERSON.

- IT'S A PRETTY GOOD REASON. - SO I'M A MURDERER ?

WE HAVE TO TELL THE POLICE. THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.

OF COURSE THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.

COLLEGE KID KILLS FARM BOY WAR HERO. YOU'LL PROBABLY JUST GET A TICKET.

MARC COULD PLEAD INSANITY. WE'LL COVER FOR YOU, MARC.

- VAN GOGH DID SOME OF HIS BEST WORK IN AN ASYLUM. - THANKS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. THIS MAN IS DEAD.

HE'S NEVER GETTING UP AGAIN,

AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS MARC'S FUTURE EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES.

WELL, WE COULD DISCUSS ZACK'S FUTURE OPPORTUNITIES,

BUT AT THIS POINT, I THINK THEY'RE LIMITED.

OWEE, OWEE, OWEE !

OH, MY GOD ! CALM DOWN, PAULIE. SOMEBODY GIVE HER A DRINK.

I NEED A DRINK.

I WILL NOT CALM DOWN ! NOBODY SHOULD CALM DOWN.

YOU ALL ACT LIKE THIS IS SOMETHING WE DO EVERY SUNDAY.

INVITE A GUEST OVER, AND IF WE DON'T AGREE WITH HIS POLITICS, KILL HIM.

PAULIE, HE PULLED A KNIFE. HE THREATENED TO RAPE YOU.

WE'RE ALL IN SHOCK, PAULIE. WE'RE JUST DEALING WITH IT IN OUR DIFFERENT WAYS.

I SAY WE JUST BURY THE CRACKER AND EAT DESSERT.

THIS IS TERRIBLE !

NOT THAT BAD, PAULIE.

PEOPLE GET KILLED EVERY DAY, PEOPLE A LOT NICER AND MORE INNOCENT THAN ZACK.

IF YOU WANNA FEEL BAD, FEEL BAD ABOUT ONE OF THEM.

HE WAS CARRYING A HUNTING KNIFE. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT ?

MAYBE HE WAS A HUNTER. PEOPLE SHOULDN'T GO AROUND CARRYING BIG KNIVES.

IT'S NOT ILLEGAL TO CARRY A BIG KNIFE !

IT SHOULD BE. LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.

IT IS, HOWEVER, ILLEGAL TO STAB SOMEONE. ESPECIALLY IN THE BACK.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE HIM YOUR CAR ?

- WE HAVE TO TELL THE POLICE. - I AM NOT GONNA BE AN ACCOMPLICE.

I REALLY ADMIRE HOW YOU CONSISTENTLY PUT YOUR FEELINGS FIRST BEFORE ANYBODY ELSE.

ME ? YOU'RE THE ONE SENDING YOUR BOYFRIEND TO THE POKEY.

OKAY, LISTEN ! LET'S JUST TELL THEM THE TRUTH.

ZACK GOT DRUNK. MARC GOT DRUNK.

MARC STABBED HIM. AT WORST, YOU'RE GONNA GET INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER.

I DIDN'T GET DRUNK. [ Luke ] BETTER START NOW.

I SMOKED DOPE. YEAH, TELL THEM THAT.

[ Pete ] LISTEN. I AM BEING SERIOUS.

IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. THEY'LL UNDERSTAND.

"OFFICER, WE HAD THIS GUY OVER FOR DINNER AND HE WAS RUDE.

SO MARC STABBED HIM IN THE BACK. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT ?"

WAKE UP, PETE. BITCH !

ALL RIGHT. DO I NEED A COAT ?

I'LL GO WITH YOU. HOLD ON.

- COME ON ! - THE POLICE ARE AN OPTION.

THEY'RE THE ONLY OPTION. NO. THERE IS ANOTHER OPTION.

YES ! TAKE ME TO A HOSPITAL.

HEAR ME OUT.

WHAT IF WE JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM ?

[ Pete ] ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ? LISTEN.

SAY WE JUST BURY THIS GUY IN THE BACKYARD OR SOMETHING.

PEOPLE DISAPPEAR ALL THE TIME.

ESPECIALLY IN IOWA. WE PROBABLY SAVED HIM FROM AN ALIEN ABDUCTION.

WE DON'T REPORT ANYTHING. WE DON'T TELL ANYONE.

WE JUST LET THIS PASS.

NO. WE DO NOT JUST LET THIS PASS.

NO ? YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL FOR THIS FASCIST FUCK ?

HE'S DEAD, LUKE. EXACTLY.

AND NOTHIN' IS GONNA CHANGE THAT.

LUKE IS RIGHT. WE ALL KNOW IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

IF WE LET THIS PASS, WE CAN GO ON...

WITH THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

[ Luke ] IF WE DON'T LET THIS PASS,

THINGS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

THINGS ALREADY WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT MY FUCKING ARM IS FUCKING BROKEN !

YES. YES.

- PETE, WHERE'S ZACK'S TRUCK ? - IT'S OUT FRONT.

GOOD. THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

- PAULIE, JUDE, TAKE PETE TO THE HOSPITAL. - YEA !

MARC. MARC. WHAT ?

I WANT YOU TO HELP ME BURY THE BODY. OKAY.

THEN I'LL DRIVE THE TRUCK SOMEWHERE. SOMEWHERE FAR.

AND THEN-- MARC. MARC ?

WHAT ? I WANT YOU TO FOLLOW ME...

IN YOUR CAR AND BRING ME BACK.

YOU'RE SERIOUS. JUST PRETEND THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENED.

WHAT NEVER HAPPENED ? WHAT NEVER HAPPENED ?

EXACTLY.

[ Sighs ]

OH, LORD.

IS THAT THE LICENSE PLATE FROM THE MERCEDES LAST NIGHT ?

YEAH. WAS IT IMPORTANT ?

PROBABLY NOT.

WHAT ARE THOSE ?

LEADS ON THE KIDNAPPING.

YOU GO ON TV TALKING ABOUT JENNY TYLER,

EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK TO ALICE.

THREE GUYS HAVE PROPOSED ALREADY.

[ Woman Sobbing ]

[ Woman Sobbing ]

[ Sobbing ]

?? EVERYWHERE IS FREAKS AND HAIRIES ??

?? DYKES AND FAIRIES ??

?? TELL ME WHERE IS SANITY ??

NOTHING IN THETIMES. WE'RE ALL CLEAR IN THETRIBUNE.

DID YOU CHECK THEUSA TODAY ?

LET'S NOT FLATTER OURSELVES.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FRONT PAGE--

HOW 'BOUT THOSE HAWKEYES, HUH ?

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BACK PAGE.

THEY HAVE THAT LITTLE SECTION ON EACH STATE.

JUST DO IT !

?? I'D LOVE TO CHANGE THE WORLD ??

IOWA: AMES.

CITY COUNCIL APPROVES EXPANSION OF THE IOWA STATE ATHLETIC FACILITY...

AT A BUDGET OF $2 MILLION.

I THINK WE'RE IN THE CLEAR. GOOD.

AND WOULD YOU TAKE OFF THOSE GLASSES AND THAT HOMEBOY HAT.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM ?

?? POPULATION KEEPS ON BREEDING ????

THAT'S A GUY THAT WE SHOULD HAVE OVER TO DINNER.

MM-HMM.

HERE'S A HYPOTHETICAL.

IF YOU TRY AND TRIVIALIZE THIS HORRIFIC SITUATION...

WITH ONE OF YOUR STUPID HYPOTHETICALS, MARC, I'LL SCREAM.

JUST HEAR ME OUT.

YOU'RE A TIME TRAVELER. [ Screams ]

JESUS !

[ Laughing ]

IT'S 1909 IN AUSTRIA, OKAY ?

YOU'RE IN A PUB HAVING A SCHNAPPS WITH A STRANGER,

A YOUNG ART STUDENT WITH ONE TESTICLE.

LET'S SAY HIS NAME IS ADOLF.

ADOLF AT THIS POINT IN HIS LIFE HAS DONE NO WRONG.

HE'S NOT BITTER. HE'S NOT ANGRY.

HE'S COMMITTED NO CRIME. HE DOES NOT BRING KNIVES TO THE DINNER TABLE.

HE HAS NOT KILLED ANYBODY.

HE CERTAINLY HASN'T STARTED A WORLD WAR.

YOUR POINT BEING ?

DO YOU KILL HIM ?

DO YOU POISON HIS SCHNAPPS TO SAVE ALL THOSE MILLIONS OF INNOCENT PEOPLE ?

WOULD HITLER DRINK SCHNAPPS ?

LOOK, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. ZACK WAS NOT HITLER.

HOW DO YOU KNOW ? YOU CAN'T LOOK INTO THE FUTURE, CAN YOU ?

WELL, I WOULD KILL THE BASTARD SLOWLY.

YOU KNOW WHERE I STAND. PETE ?

NO COMMENT.

I WOULD USE SOMETHIN' BLUNT, LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN' CHAIR.

PAULIE, IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE KILLING MOZART HERE.

WE KILLED A GUY THAT I AM SURE WAS AN EVIL FORCE ON THIS PLANET.

[ Laughs ] AN EVIL FORCE ON THIS PLANET ?

YOU HAVE TO START READING BOOKS WITHOUT PICTURES, MARC.

YEAH, YOU'RE NOT GOD. YOU CAN'T DECIDE WHO'S GOOD AND EVIL, WHO LIVES OR WHO DIES.

WHAT IF YOU KILL SOMEBODY WHOSE DEATH MAKES THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE ?

BUT THAT'S BULLSHIT.

WE HAVE NO IDEA THAT ZACK'S DEATH MAKES THIS WORLD ANY BETTER.

MY WORLD FEELS BETTER.

MAYBE HE WAS RIGHT.

WHO ? ZACK.

MAYBE HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT HOW WE DO NOTHIN' BUT TALK...

AND SIT BACK AND LET THE CONSERVATIVES DO WHATEVER THEY WANT.

THEY PUT ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES,

AND THEY ACHIEVE THEIR COMMON GOALS,

AND WE ALWAYS GET STUCK ARGUING ABOUT THE STUPIDEST, TINIEST LITTLE THINGS.

WHAT, LIKE MURDER ? CONSERVATIVES ARE SIMPLE. NO, THEY'RE EFFECTIVE.

SO WE BUY ANIMAL-FRIENDLY MASCARA. OR WE STOP BUYING GRAPES.

BUT WE DON'T DO ANYTHING. ALL WE DO IS FIGHT.

WE DO NOT FIGHT. YES, WE DO.

NO, WE DON'T. WE DO. I--

LOOK. WE'RE LIBERALS. WE DO THE RIGHT THING.

THEN HOW COME THE WORLD IS SO FUCKED UP ?

BECAUSE WE DON'T RUN THE WORLD.

EXACTLY. WE DON'T.

- WE FINALLY DO SOME GOOD. - DO SOME GOOD ?

THINK ABOUT ALL THE RIGHT-WING ASSHOLES...

THE WORLD WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER OFF WITHOUT...

IF SOMEONE HAD WASTED THEM BEFORE THEY DID ANY DAMAGE.

ANYONE WHO EVER KILLED AN ABORTION DOCTOR.

POL POT. IDI AMIN.

JOSEPH MENGELE. JOSEPH MCCARTHY.

JOEY TERIEO.

FROMDANCE FEVER?

NO. A KID FROM SIXTH GRADE.

HE BROKE MY GLASSES EIGHT TIMES.

LITTLE MOTHERFUCKER.

AND IF THEY'RE SUCH BIG ASSHOLES...

WE CAN'T CONVINCE THEM--

WELL, YOU'RE SITTING ACROSS FROM HITLER--

STILL NO COMMENT ?

I'M IN.

IF IT WAS HITLER, I MEAN, I WOULD KILL HIM.

[ Laughing ]

PAULIE ? NO.

NO. I WOULD THANK HIM FOR HIS SCHNAPPS,

GET BACK INTO THE TIME MACHINE, SET IT FOR HOME AND GO TO BED.

WHICH IS WHERE I'M GOING RIGHT NOW. GOOD NIGHT.

NIGHT. NIGHT.

[ Sighs ]

I WOULDN'T WANNA STAB 'EM, THOUGH,

'CAUSE THAT WAS TOO WEIRD.

I WOULD CLUB THEM.

OBVIOUSLY, WE'D POISON THEM.

OBVIOUSLY.

I WOULDN'T WANT THEM TO KNOW THAT THEY WERE BEING POISONED.

I MEAN, IT'S BAD ENOUGH THEY HAVE TO DIE.

I WOULDN'T WANT THEIR LAST THOUGHTS TO BE,

"HEY, I'M BEING KILLED BY THESE LIBERALS."

WELL, MAYBE WE COULD JUST SCREAM...

AND ACT LIKE IT'S SOME HORRIBLE ACCIDENT.

THAT WAY THEIR THOUGHTS ON EARTH WOULDN'T BE HORRIBLE ONES.

THAT'S NICE.

[ Luke ] JUDE ALREADY KNOWS.

THE BLUE BOTTLE IS BAD, THE GREEN BOTTLE IS GOOD.

WHAT IS THAT STUFF ANYWAY ?

ARSENIC.

NONE OF US ARE GOING TO DO THIS.

PROBABLY NOT. BUT--

JUST IN CASE THE GUY PULLS A KNIFE.

EVERYONE, THIS IS REVEREND GERALD HUTCHENS.

THIS IS LUKE.

LUKE, A PLEASURE. PAULIE.

PAULIE. A PLEASURE. THAT'S MARC THERE.

MARC. AND PETE.

OH, PETE.

NICE TO MEET ALL OF YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU.

I HAD NO IDEA THIS MEAL WAS GOING TO BE SO FORMAL.

[ Luke ] WE LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR GUESTS, REVEREND.

[ Laughter ]

SO, REVEREND, WHERE'S YOUR PARISH ?

[ Reverend Hutchens ] WE HAVE A LITTLE PARISH OUTSIDE OF MAPLE FALLS.

- REALLY ? THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM. - YOU MUST'VE SEEN OUR MANGER.

WE HAVE THE BIGGEST BABY JESUS IN THE COUNTY.

[ Laughing ] WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.

I AM FAMISHED.

AND IT ALL LOOKS SO DELICIOUS.

IS THAT APPLE PIE ?

[ Paulie ] IT'S HOMEMADE.

REALLY ? [ Chuckles ]

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY GRACE ?

YOU KNOW, I WOULD LOVE IT.

I HAD NO IDEA YOU YOUNGER PEOPLE WERE INTO THAT.

IT'S VERY CHARMING.

SHALL WE BOW OUR HEADS ?

BLESS US, O LORD, FOR THIS BOUNTY...

[ Whispers ] A FUCKING REVEREND ? WHICH WE ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE.

FOR THIS BLESSING OF YOUTH AND KINDNESS... WAIT.

YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BESTOW UPON ME,

GOD BLESS US ALL.

SO, REVEREND, HOW DO YOU AND JUDE KNOW ONE ANOTHER ?

I INTERVIEWED THE GOOD REVEREND FOR A RESEARCH PAPER I WAS DOING.

YES. ON THE VILENESS.

THE VILENESS ? THE VILENESS ?

THE GAY PLAGUE, OF COURSE.

ON THE USE OF SECULAR THERAPY IN COMFORTING FAMILIES OF AIDS PATIENTS.

THE GOOD REVEREND HERE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO LET ME...

USE HIS VIEW AS A COUNTERPOINT POSITION.

OH.

SO YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN COMFORTING THE FAMILIES ?

NO, I DO NOT BELIEVE IN COMFORTING THE FAMILIES...

OF IRREDEEMABLE MORTAL SINNERS.

ARE THOSE BISCUITS MADE FROM SCRATCH ?

[ Luke ] MM-HMM. REALLY ?

THEY ARE LOVELY.

MMM.

OF COURSE, AIDS IS NOT A SIN. IT'S A TERRIBLE DISEASE.

NOT QUITE.

HOMOSEXUALITY IS THE TERRIBLE DISEASE...

AND AIDS IS THE CURE.

[ Reverend ] IS THERE BUTTER ?

COME AGAIN ? BUTTER ?

- BUTTER, YEAH. - OH. THANK YOU.

NO, NO.

WHEN YOU VIOLATE THE MORAL, HEALTH AND HYGIENE LAWS,

YOU REAP THE WHIRLWIND.

YOU CANNOT SHAKE YOUR FIST IN GOD'S FACE...

AND GET BY WITH IT.

READY FOR MORE WINE ? YES.

NO. WAIT. WAIT.

I MEAN, IT'S WHITE WINE, AND WE'RE HAVING MEAT.

I THINK WE SHOULD WAIT FOR DESSERT. YES.

SURELY, BEING A REVEREND, YOU MUST HAVE SOME COMPASSION ?

YES. I MEAN, JESUS HIMSELF WOULD BE...

ONE OF THE MOST COMPASSIONATE MEN IN HISTORY.

WHY, YES. CERTAINLY.

BUT JESUS WOULD NEVER TOUCH A HOMOSEXUAL.

BUT WE'RE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN.

WE ARE ALL GOD'S CHILDREN.

BUT LIKE CHILDREN, WE CAN GET INTO TROUBLE,

AND WHEN WE DO, WE MUST BE PUNISHED.

GERALD IS THE LEADER OF GOD'S WAY.

GOD'S WAY ?

HOMOSEXUALS ARE THE LIVING,

BREATHING CESSPOOL OF PATHOGENS.

WE SIMPLY PROPOSE TO PUT THEM OUT ON A DESERT ISLAND...

WITH ENOUGH FOODSTUFFS TO LAST THEM FOR THEIR LIMITED LIFETIMES.

AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE ?

SAY, TWO YEARS, TOPS.

THAT WAY, FOR A NOMINAL COST TO US,

THEY WOULD ALL DIE.

IS THIS RADICCHIO ?

YES. YES.

HAS ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU EVER DIED OF AIDS ?

[ Chuckles ] REALLY. REALLY.

NO ! [ Chuckles ]

I THINK IT'S TIME FOR DESSERT.

YES.

THANK YOU.

I'D LIKE TO PROPOSE A TOAST.

TO... GOD'S SOLDIERS.

I LIKE THAT.

THIS PIE IS DELICIOUS.

[ Reverend ] IS ANYTHING WRONG ?

WE'RE DIETING.

CAN I MAKE A CONFESSION ?

YES. DO YOU WANT MORE WHITE WINE ?

NO. I-- I, UH--

I THINK THIS PIE MIGHT BE...

A LITTLE TOO RICH.

[ Coughs ]

EXCUSE ME.

[ Coughing ]

[ Coughing Continues ]

[ Violent Coughing ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming Continues ]

[ Violent Coughing ]

[ Gasps ] [ Screaming ]

[ Jude ] IS HE DEAD ?

HE'S REAL DEAD. OH, GOD.

MAYBE WE SHOULD SAY THE LAST RITES OR SOMETHING.

NO. YOU DO THAT BEFORE.

WE SHOULD JUST FINISH DINNER BEFORE IT GETS COLD.

HOW CAN YOU GUYS EAT WITH A DEAD MAN AT THE TABLE ?

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE HIM HIS DEATH SENTENCE.

[ Mimics Lugosi As Dracula ] "I THINK IT'S TIME FOR DESSERT."

WHAT WAS THAT, ANNE RICE ?

NO, I THINK PAULIE BEHAVED-- PERFORMED BEAUTIFULLY.

YES. SO DO I.

WE GAVE HIM EVERY CHANCE POSSIBLE.

I WANNA PROPOSE A TOAST.

TO US,

FOR MAKING A DIFFERENCE,

FOR PUTTING ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES,

AND FOR MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

L'CHAIM. L'CHAIM.

PLEASE PASS THE RADICCHIO.

BUTTER ? [ Coughs ]

DON'T CHOKE. PAT HIM ON THE BACK. HE'S CHOKING.

HONEY. YOU OKAY ?

[ Jude ] JESUS CHRIST ! HE SWITCHED THE GLASSES !

MARC. HE SWITCHED THE GLASSES !

MARC. OH, MY GOD !

GET UP. THE HEIMLICH. MARC. MARC !

MARC ! GET UP.

THE HEIMLICH. THERE-- THERE--

CALL 911.

[ All ] NO !

[ Paulie ] MARC ! MARC !

[ Pete ] MARC. AW, SHIT !

WHAT ? [ Others Groan ]

OOH ! JERK ! OWW !

[ Luke Laughs ]

[ Pete ] LET'S GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

[ Marc ] OH, YEAH.

[ TV Show Host ] THIS WAS IN THE PAPER TODAY.

THEY WANT TO DO ANOTHER GAY PRIDE PARADE.

I MEAN, DO YOU REALLY THINK...

THAT A BUNCH OF GAYS AND LESBIANS...

STRUTTING THROUGH TOWN CONSTITUTES A PARADE ?

DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS...

AND WE HAD PARADES THAT MEANT SOMETHING,

THAT WERE ABOUT REAL WONDERFULLY FESTIVE EVENTS...

WITH PEOPLE DRESSED IN WONDERFULLY INVENTIVE COSTUMES...

LIKE KINGS AND QUEENS ?

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT,

THAT DOES SOUND A LITTLE BIT LIKE A GAY PRIDE MARCH. [ Audience Laughs ]

[ Dinner Guest ] HOW OFTEN DOES A WOMAN SAY NO,

BUT SHE REALLY MEANS YES ?

SHE SAYS, "STOP," BUT SHE MEANS, "KEEP GOING."

YOU CAN'T BRING THE LAW INTO SOMEONE'S BEDROOM.

IT'S CONSTITUTIONALLY WRONG.

ISN'T VIOLATING A WOMAN'S BODY CONSTITUTIONALLY WRONG ?

[ Dinner Guest ] ISN'T LEADING A MAN ON WRONG ?

IF A WOMAN ACCEPTS A DATE WITH A MAN,

ESPECIALLY IN THIS DAY AND AGE,

SHE KNOWS WHAT HE'S AFTER, AND SHE ACCEPTS.

SO YOU THINK THAT ALL DATES LEAD TO SEX ?

I DON'T.

MAN IS THE DOMINANT SPECIES.

WOMEN ARE THE DOMINATED.

THEY ARE THE WEAKER SEX. THEY ALWAYS WILL BE.

WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT SPECIES.

A MAN DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO RAPE A WOMAN.

NO. NO. OF COURSE HE DOESN'T, PAULIE.

RAPE IS A TERRIBLE THING.

BUT IT IS ALSO MUCH RARER THAN PEOPLE THINK.

WHEN A WOMAN CRIES RAPE,

IT'S USUALLY BECAUSE SHE'S ALREADY CONSENTED TO SEX. REALLY ?

YEAH. REALLY.

AND IF SHE DOESN'T ALLOW HERSELF TO ENJOY IT, THEN SHE FEELS USED.

SO WOMEN, VINDICTIVE BY NATURE, CRY RAPE,

AND FORCE THE MAN TO SUFFER THE FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY...

THAT THEY THEMSELVES HAVE CREATED.

THE WORLD STOPS AND YOU DESTROY THE MAN.

IT'S QUITE SELF-DEFEATING, REALLY.

KEEP THEM IN THE KITCHEN BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT.

NO. NO, I THINK THAT'S A LITTLE SEXIST.

SO, THIS IS WHAT YOUR PARADE IS ALL ABOUT ?

- WE'RE STEALING A CHAPTER FROM THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT. - MM-HMM.

GOTTA FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN, RIGHT ?

YEP.

ABSOLUTELY. I THINK WE CAN ALL DRINK TO THAT.

PLEASE.

?? 'CAUSE DOMINATING MINDS PLAY JUDGE AND JURY TOO ??

?? OH, NO ??

?? BUT THEY'RE DOMINATING MINDS AND BLIND TO THE TRUTH ??

?? OH, YEAH ??

?? 'CAUSE DOMINATING MINDS SPEAK WITH THE LOUDEST VOICE ??

-?? OH, NO ?? - GOOD ?

?? BUT NOT EVERYBODY HAS THE LUXURY OF CHOICE ??

?? OH, NO ??

?? SOME PEOPLE SEARCH FOR THE HOLY GRAIL ??

?? RUN ROUND IN CIRCLES AND-- ?? [ Doorbell Rings ]

GOOD EVENING. SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. I'M SHERIFF STANLEY.

I'M GOING DOOR TO DOOR AND ASKING PEOPLE...

FOR INFORMATION REGARDING JENNY TYLER, THE MISSING GIRL.

I WONDER IF YOU COULD JUST TAKE A LOOK AT A FEW PICTURES.

IF I DON'T USE EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO BLOCK THAT ENTRANCE,

INNOCENT UNBORN CHILDREN WILL DIE.

AND IF I HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE TO STOP THAT,

WELL, THAT IS WHAT THE RIGHT-TO-LIFE MOVEMENT IS ALL ABOUT.

?? 'CAUSE DOMINATING MINDS PLAY JUDGE AND JURY TOO ??

?? OH, NO ??

?? BUT THEY'RE DOMINATING MINDS AND BLIND TO THE TRUTH ??

?? OH, YEAH ????

THESE HIPPIES WANT OUR...

NATIVE AMERICAN--

HEAVEN FORBID, I ALMOST CALLED THEM INDIAN CHILDREN--

TO BLAME OUR FOREFATHERS FOR ALL OF THEIR TROUBLE, INSTEAD OF THEIR OWN.

NOW, I'M THE FIRST TO ADMIT WE TOOK THIS COUNTRY FROM THE INDIANS.

BUT WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE THEY DOING WITH IT ANYWAY ?

SHOOTING OFF BOWS AND ARROWS AND USING SEASHELLS FOR MONEY !

[ Laughs ]

?? BABY, HEY, LET'S GET TOGETHER ??

?? HONEY, HONEY, ME AND YOU ??

?? AND DO THE THINGS ??

?? OH, DO THE THINGS ??

?? THAT WE LIKE TO DO ??

?? OH, DO A LITTLE DANCE ??

?? MAKE A LITTLE LOVE ??

?? GET DOWN TONIGHT ??

?? GET DOWN TONIGHT ??

?? DO A LITTLE DANCE ??

?? MAKE A LITTLE LOVE ??

?? GET DOWN TONIGHT ??

?? GET DOWN TONIGHT, BABY ??

?? GET DOWN, GET DOWN ?? DIE !

?? GET DOWN GET DOWN TONIGHT, BABY ??

? ?? WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO ?

?? GET DOWN, GET DOWN-- ????

[ Laughs ]

YOU BASTARD !

BROTHER, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, SERVING ME THIS FILTHY SWINE !

I CAN'T EAT THIS.

THIS IS WHY THE FIRST THING WE MUST DO...

IS ELIMINATE THE TRAITORS AMONG US.

THEN WE CAN CONCENTRATE ON THE TRUE ENEMY.

[ Indistinct Chatter On Police Radio ]

ALICE. WHEN THE RAIN FINALLY STOPPED,

THE WATER WENT DOWN TO ITS NORMAL LEVEL AND IT POPPED UP.

JACK MAYR, WITH THE LEG BRACE, FOUND IT.

[ Sheriff ] HAVE YOU SEARCHED IT ?

WE'RE GETTING READY TO. I THINK THERE'S SOME BLOOD UNDER THE MAT.

SEE THAT ? RIGHT THERE. YEAH. BRING IT UP.

I WANNA RUN A SEARCH ON THE PLATES.

[ Deputy ] WATCH YOUR STEP. IT'S A LITTLE SLICK.

HANG ON, JENNY. I'M GETTING CLOSER.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU ALL ARE RIGHT.

MAYBE THEY ARE JUST ALL PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, THEY GOT FEELINGS.

THEY GOT FAMILY.

[ All ] UM. UH.

WELL, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO YOUR OWN OPINION, OF COURSE.

YEAH ! IT'S TRUE.

[ Guest ] YOU GOTTA BEAT THEM HOMELESS SENSELESS,

MAKE SURE THEY KNOW THEIR PLACE.

[ Laughing ] CHEERS !

?? WE DON'T WANT LIVES OF STEEL ??

?? WE DON'T WANT HEARTS THAT FEEL ??

?? WE WANT TO LIVE ABOVE IT ALL ??

?? I FEEL YOU CLOSING IN ??

?? A TARGET ON MY SKIN ??

?? I THINK YOU'LL BE THERE WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ?? WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ??

YOU OKAY ?

YEAH. IT'S JUST MY STOMACH HAS BEEN KILLING ME...

FOR ABOUT THREE WEEKS.

MAYBE IT'S ALL THESE TOMATOES.

?? WE MIGHT GET BACK IN TIME ??

?? WE MIGHT CONNECT ON LINE ??

?? YOU MIGHT LAND BEYOND THE WALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ??

BRAVO.

YEAH, REAL NICE WORK.

I COULDN'T SLEEP. [ Luke ] I SEE.

?? I MIGHT GIVE LOVE TO YOU ??

?? I MIGHT SLIP RIGHT ON THROUGH ?? WHERE YOU BEEN ?

?? YOU MIGHT KEEP ME ?? I GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER.

?? FROM IT ALL ?? CAN I JOIN YOU ?

?? I CLIMB SO HIGH TO SEE YOU ??

?? BUT THE GROUND JUST TEASES ME ??

?? I THINK YOU'LL BE THERE WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL WHEN I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ??

?? I FALL ??

?? WHEN I FALL ??

?? I'M AMAZED BY YOU ????

I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE WHO'S ANTI-EARTH.

MM-MM. OH, WHOA, WHOA.

I'M NOT ANTI-EARTH. I'M PRO-EARTHLING.

YOU SEE, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO CARE ABOUT THE GREENHOUSE EFFECT...

IF YOU DON'T HAVE A HOUSE.

YOU SEE, I THINK IT ALL COMES DOWN TO EVOLUTION ANYWAY.

SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.

I MEAN, IF THE SPOTTED OWL'S TIME IS UP,

WELL,HASTA LA VISTA, BABY, I GUESS.

SEE NOW, YOUR DAMN LIBERALS, ON THE OTHER HAND,

THEY'D BE PROTECTING THE RIGHTS OF THE DINOSAURS OVER OURS, I MEAN, IF THEY COULD.

[ Pete Chuckles ]

I WOULD DEFEND THEM TOO, IF THEY WEREN'T ALREADY EXTINCT.

MM, A WHITE. ALL RIGHT.

[ Marc, Paulie ] CHEERS.

MMM.

[ Indistinct Chatter On Police Radio ]

[ Pete ] I SHOOT SKEET AND I HAVE A LICENSE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD NEVER LEAVE AN UNSECURED GUN IN A CAR.

I KNOW THAT, AND I'M SORRY.

MY CAR-- IT WAS DEAD.

A GUY PICKED ME UP IN A TRUCK.

A TRUCK ?

YEAH, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP HIM...

WITH THE RIFLE IN MY HANDS.

WHAT KIND OF A TRUCK ? A PICKUP TRUCK.

DID IT LOOK LIKE THIS TRUCK ?

UM. MAYBE. IT WAS VERY DARK THAT NIGHT.

BUT IT'S POSSIBLE.

WAS IT THIS COLOR ?

YES. IT'S A POSSIBILITY. YEAH. SURE.

DID YOU GET A LOOK AT THE DRIVER ?

I HONESTLY-- I DON'T REMEMBER.

WHITE MAN ? BLACK MAN ? NO.

WHITE. HOW DO YOU SAY-- MEDIUM BUILD.

WELL, THAT TRUCK BELONGED TO A KNOWN FELON.

WE FOUND IT DUMPED NEXT TO THE MISSOURI RIVER.

I WANNA SHOW YOU A COUPLE OF PICTURES AND...

MAYBE YOU CAN IDENTIFY THE MAN.

[ Sheriff ] NOTHING ?

OOF. NO. SORRY.

[ Sighs ]

WE FOUND TRACES OF BLOOD INSIDE THE TRUCK.

WE'RE WAITING FOR TESTS TO SEE IF IT MATCHES JENNY TYLER'S.

THAT LITTLE GIRL ? THAT WOULD BE HORRIBLE.

I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT THIS REALLY HARD.

IF YOU CAN REMEMBER ANYTHING, OR YOU SEE THIS MAN AGAIN,

I WANT YOU TO CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ? OH, OF COURSE.

YOU SHOULD CONSIDER YOURSELF VERY LUCKY, MR. VANDOREN.

YOU MIGHT'VE BEEN THIS CLOSE TO A MURDERER.

WOW.

WE'VE BEEN THINKING. ABOUT US.

YOU HAVE ? YES.

WE DON'T FEEL THAT WE'RE GIVING PEOPLE ENOUGH OF A CHANCE.

REMEMBER THE ORIGINAL PLAN ?

WE SAID WE WOULDN'T KILL ANYONE UNLESS WE COULDN'T CHANGE THEIR MINDS.

SO WE HAVEN'T CHANGED ANYONE'S MIND.

MAYBE WE'RE NOT AS SMART AS WE THOUGHT.

LUKE, THE GUY WITH THE SWASTIKA SAT DOWN...

AND YOU TOLD HIM IT WAS HAPPY HOUR.

I FIGURED WHY WASTE THE FOOD.

WHAT FOOD ? WE'RE NOT EVEN GIVING PEOPLE A DECENT MEAL ANYMORE.

THE FAG BASHER HAD CHINESE.

CHUNG KING IS NOT CHINESE.

WE HAD SOY SAUCE. [ Chuckles ]

LET'S JUST REMEMBER WHY WE STARTED THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

YES, MASSAH.

CATCHER IN THE RYE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ART ?

THUMBELINAIS ART.

CATCHER IN THE RYEIS JUST MEAN-SPIRITED GARBAGE...

LITTERED WITH THE "F" WORD.

[ Laughing ]

I'VE HEARD ENOUGH. HOW 'BOUT A TOAST ?

COME ON. THIS IS PATHETIC.

OH, COME ON.

A TOAST.

[ Doorbell Rings ]

I'LL GET IT.

WELL, THANK YOU.

[ Laughing ] [ Laughing ]

UH-- GOOD EVENING, SIR.

I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU AT THE DINNER HOUR...

BUT I'M GOING HOUSE TO HOUSE TO SEE IF ANYONE...

HAS ANY INFORMATION REGARDING JENNY TYLER.

THE KIDNAPPED GIRL ? RIGHT.

I WONDER IF YOU'D LOOK AT SOME PICTURES.

SURE. YOU KNOW, I'VE GOT SOME COMPANY--

IT WON'T TAKE A MINUTE.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANY OF THESE MEN ?

WHAT IS IT, HON ? GOOD EVENING.

I'M SORRY, THIS IS UM-- I FORGOT YOUR NAME.

DON'T WORRY, OFFICER. HE'S NOT DRIVING.

I TRUST YOU. SHERIFF ALICE STANLEY. PAULIE LAYTON.

MY GRANDFATHER WAS CHIEF OF POLICE IN MAPLE FALLS WAY BACK.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO LOOK THROUGH THIS STACK...

AND SEE IF YOU RECOGNIZE ANY OF THE MEN IN THE PICTURES.

SIR ?

HE-- HE--

HE-- HE WAS CHIEF OF POLICE FOR OVER 32 YEARS.

THEY CALLED HIM BIG SMOKY. HE DRANK TOO.

I'M SORRY, SHERIFF, BUT NONE OF THEM...

LOOK LIKE ANYONE I WOULD WANT TO KNOW.

PRETTY SCARY-LOOKING BUNCH, ACTUALLY.

I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THEM.

YOU STOPPED ON THIS PICTURE. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN BEFORE ?

YEAH-- NO.

I MEAN-- JUST--

[ Crashing ]

WHAT-- WHAT WAS THAT ?

I DON'T KNOW. HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE IF OUR GUESTS ARE ALL RIGHT.

SORRY. JUDE'S OKAY, BUT I THINK THE DESSERT'S ABOUT HAD IT.

- GOOD EVENING, MR. VANDOREN. - HI, SHERIFF STANLEY.

IS THIS THE HOUSE WHERE YOU WERE DROPPED OFF THAT NIGHT ?

WE'RE ROOMMATES.

WELL, MAYBE THAT'S WHY THIS PICTURE IS FAMILIAR TO YOU.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN BEFORE ?

NO, THEY HAVEN'T.

WHEN HE DROPPED ME OFF THAT NIGHT, YOU GUYS WERE ALL INSIDE, REMEMBER ?

YEAH. OH, YEAH. UM.

INSIDE-- HE WAS LIKE DRIPPING WET. IT WAS LIKE WET--

IT WAS POURING OUT.

YOU WENT THROUGH THE STACK PRETTY QUICKLY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE ANOTHER LOOK ?

NO. I TOLD YOU, THEY'RE VERY SCARY-LOOKING.

I'VE NEVER SEEN CRIMINALS LIKE THAT.

YOUR GRANDFATHER NEVER HAD ANY MUG SHOTS LAYING AROUND ?

NO. I DIED LONG BEFORE HE--

I MEAN, HE DIED... [ Laughing ]

LONG BEFORE I WAS BORN.

WELL, OKAY.

THANK YOU. SURE.

OH, BY THE WAY, MR. VANDOREN, FOR YOUR INFORMATION...

THAT BLOOD WE FOUND DID CHECK OUT.

WOW.

THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED ? [ Jude Sobbing ]

- BARBARA DOESN'T DRINK WINE. - SO THIS FUCKER STABBED HER !

[ Paulie ] PETE, YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT THE SHERIFF ?

WHAT SHERIFF ? LET ME EXPLAIN.

OUTSIDE. THE OTHER DAY I GOT CALLED IN FOR QUESTIONING.

OH, FUCK ! WHAT ?

IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH US, BELIEVE ME.

REMEMBER THAT NIGHT WITH ZACK ? I LEFT MY CAR ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.

I ALSO LEFT MY RIFLE IN THE CAR BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO SCARE ZACK.

WELL, THE SHERIFF FOUND THE CAR. SHE ALSO FOUND THE RIFLE.

SHE CALLED ME IN. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

NOT A BIG DEAL ? SHE HAD ZACK'S PICTURE.

YEAH, I WAS GETTING TO THAT.

THEY FOUND ZACK'S TRUCK. OH, FUCK !

WHEN WERE YOU GONNA MENTION THIS, PETE ?

IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH US. LISTEN.

I GOT CALLED IN BECAUSE OF THE RIFLE.

COMPLETELY SEPARATE FROM THAT, THEY FOUND ZACK'S TRUCK,

WITH SOME OF JENNY TYLER'S BLOOD IN THE BACKSEAT.

NOW, THE SHERIFF, SHE DOESN'T KNOW ZACK'S DEAD.

SO SHE'S LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR HIM,

BECAUSE HE PROBABLY KILLED THAT POOR LITTLE GIRL.

OH, FUCK.

[ Pete ] WE DID SOME GOOD THEN. OF COURSE WE DID.

YOU WERE RIGHT, LUKE. HEY !

HOORAY FOR US ! NO.

WHAT IF THEY TRACE ZACK BACK TO HERE ?

NO. THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, JUDE.

THEY FOUND THE TRUCK, ANDTHATWAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

- SHE'S RIGHT. - MAYBE THIS IS A SIGN THAT WE SHOULD SLOW DOWN.

?? PARANOIA WILL DESTROY YA ?? FUCK YOU GUYS !

WE GOT RID OF A CHILD MURDERER, AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE WE'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.

WHAT IF ZACK HAD LIVED ? WE STOPPED HIM BEFORE HE KILLED ANYONE ELSE.

ISN'T THAT WHY WE STARTED THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE ?

BUT LOOK AT HER.

SHE WAS JUST AN ILLITERATE. I MEAN, WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HAND.

WE'VE BEEN CAREFUL, MARC. NO ONE'S GOING TO TOUCH US.

WE HAVE TO SLOW DOWN. SLOW DOWN.

WE HAVE KILLED NINE PEOPLE.

- TEN PEOPLE. - NINE. I WAS AN ACCOUNTING MAJOR ONCE.

- IT'S ONLY NINE. - IT'S TEN.

- IT'S NINE ! -[ Luke ] PETE ?

- TEN. - YOU ARE NOT GONNA COUNT ZACK.

HE WAS THE FIRST ONE. [ Marc ] HE WAS AN ACCIDENT.

IF HE'S IN THE GARDEN, IT COUNTS. THAT'S THE RULE.

- YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY. - THERE ARE NO RULES, OKAY ?

WE ARE KILLING PEOPLE, FOR GOD'S SAKES.

THEY'RE NOT PEOPLE. THEY'RE PEOPLE WHO HATE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? GIVE ME A BREAK.

SHE JUST HAD BAD TASTE. I DIDN'T KILL YOU FOR THAT HAIRCUT.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE COMING FROM A FASHION VICTIM LIKE YOU, YOU FUCKING NUN !

ALL I'M SAYING IS WE HAVE TO THINK MORE. THINK !

"HOORAY FOR US" ? COME ON. WAKE UP !

ALL RIGHT ! ALL RIGHT !

LET'S JUST GET RID OF MISS MENSA HERE.

JUST GO TO SLEEP, OKAY ?

[ Sighs ]

YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE HEATHER FROM THE NEWSPAPER.

SHE'S THE ONE SUING HER HIGH SCHOOL.

OH. THAT'S RIGHT. THE CONDOM THING.

WELL, THAT'S HOW THE PRESS HAS SIMPLIFIED IT.

ACTUALLY, I'M SUING THE SCHOOL...

BECAUSE THEY'RE VIOLATING MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT TO PRIVACY...

BY MAKING SEXUAL EDUCATION MANDATORY FOR GRADUATION.

I'M SURE THAT'S GOING TO GET YOU A LOT OF PUBLICITY, HEATHER.

BUT, IN LEGAL TERMS, YOUR CASE...

IS WHAT WE CALL, "BULLSHIT."

[ Laughing ]

WHY ? THAT'S THE WAY THINGS OUGHTA BE.

WELL, NUMBER ONE, THE COURT UNDERSTANDS...

THAT ESPECIALLY IN THIS DAY AND AGE OF AIDS,

SEXUAL EDUCATION MUST BE MANDATORY...

TO INSURE THE PUBLIC SAFETY.

- NO, THAT'S NOT SO. - OH, NO ?

NO. I DON'T GO TO THOSE CLASSES, AND I'M PERFECTLY SAFE.

[ Laughing ]

[ Heather ] SEXUAL EDUCATION AND FREE CONDOMS...

SENDS THE MESSAGE TO KIDS MY AGE...

THAT THEY SHOULD BE HAVING PREMARITAL SEX.

BUT, HEATHER, YOU'RE A HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR.

I MEAN, WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WAS CURIOUS.

YEAH. I'M SURE YOU WERE. SHUT UP.

[ Laughing ]

DON'T YOU EVER HAVE ANY OF THOSE FEELINGS ?

THEY CAN BE REALLY NICE.

NO OFFENSE, MA'AM,

BUT THAT CURIOSITY ISN'T HUMAN NATURE...

BUT RATHER YOUR GENERATIONS'S...

LOWER STANDARD OF MORALITY THAT HAS PUT MY GENERATION AT RISK.

HEATHER, YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME.

I SEE A GREAT DANGER IN THE WORLD, AND I WANT TO STOP IT.

[ Heather ] WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO FAMILY VALUES IN THIS COUNTRY.

HEATHER, HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX ?

LUKE !

THAT'S A VERY INAPPROPRIATE QUESTION FOR THE DINNER TABLE.

- HOW CAN YOU SIT THERE ALL OF SEVENTEEN... - SEVENTEEN AND A HALF !

AND PREACH TO ME ABOUT FAMILY VALUES AND SEXUAL EDUCATION ?

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE SEX.

I KNEW GIRLS LIKE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL. SO PRETTY AND SO STUCK UP...

TO ALL THE GUYS AFRAID TO ASK YOU OUT.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED, HEATHER ? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY NEED ?

- YOU NEED A GOOD STIFF DICK. THAT'LL SHUT THAT MOUTH. -[ Jude ] LUKE !

- OH, SHIT ! - SHUT UP, LUKE !

ALL RIGHT. I'M SORRY.

- HOW 'BOUT A GLASS OF WINE, HEATHER ? LOOSEN YOU UP. - HEY !

- I DON'T DRINK. - ONE LITTLE SIP AIN'T GONNA KILL YOU, BABY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ?

- HEY, NOTHING. LET'S JUST DRINK AND GET THIS OVER WITH. - I DON'T THINK SO !

WHY IS HE SO MEAN ?

LET'S NOT LET LUKE'S LITTLE OUTBURST CLOUD THE ISSUE HERE.

- THAT'S EXACTLY IT. - WOULD YOU JUST COOL IT FOR A MINUTE ?

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WE'VE UPSET HER ?

- YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH. - I'M GOING TO WALK HEATHER OUT.

- THAT WOULD BE A BAD IDEA, JUDE. - NO. I WANT TO GO.

[ Luke ] I DON'T THINK SO.

-[ Jude ] SHE'S A CHILD ! - HITLER WAS A CHILD ONCE TOO !

WE'RE GETTIN' TOO EMOTIONAL ! THAT'S FUNNY, COMING FROM YOU.

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN ?

[ Laughs ] YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR MOUTH, OR I'LL BREAK YOUR OTHER ARM.

SHUT UP !

OOH ! OH !

THAT'S NEW. ACTUALLY ATTACKING SOMEONE WHEN YOU'RE FACING THEM.

STOP IT !

WOULD YOU TWO STOP IT ! BIG DICK !

[ Jude ] COME ON, HEATHER. LET ME TAKE YOU HOME.

[ Marc ] WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT AFTER THE BREAK.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ? THOSE ARE MINE.

GETTING RID OF YOUR LOVELY LITTLE BORDERS HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST PUT UP A SIGN SAYING, "CEMETERY. BODIES BURIED HERE" ?

WHY DON'T YOU MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS ?

I AM MINDING MY OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, AND YOU NEED TO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

I GOT MY SHIT TOGETHER FINE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

TRAVEL AGENT'S ON THE PHONE FOR YOU.

GOING TO GUYANA OVER THE BREAK ?

YES. SPRING BREAK IN GUYANA.

YOU ENJOY YOURSELF, HUH ?

AFTER YOU.

OH, NO. AFTER YOU.

BITCH !

CAN I HELP YOU ?

HI. I'M SHERIFF STANLEY.

ARE YOU TRESPASSING,

OR JUST INTERESTED IN OLERICULTURE ?

WHAT ? OLERICULTURE, THE GROWING OF VEGETABLES.

YES. OLERICULTURE.

I'VE NEVER TASTED TOMATOES THIS SWEET.

THANK YOU.

IS IT SOMETHING YOU PUT IN THE SOIL ?

NO. JUST GOOD TOPSOIL.

GOTTA KEEP THE EARTH MOVING, MY GRANDMOTHER ALWAYS SAID.

IS THAT WHY EVERYTHING LOOKS SO DUG UP ?

SHH.

IT'S A SECRET.

DON'T LET IT OUT, OR EVERYONE WILL START GROWING THESE THINGS.

WELL, DON'T WORRY. YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME.

MY BUSINESS IS ALMOST DONE HERE.

YOUR BUSINESS ?

THE JENNY TYLER CASE. HAVEN'T YOUR ROOMMATES TOLD YOU ?

OH, YES.

THAT GIRL.

I THINK SHE'S DEAD.

WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE, ISN'T THERE ?

HAVE A GOOD DAY.

?? RAIN, RAIN, RAIN ??

?? THE WICKED RAIN FALLIN' FROM THE SKY ??

?? DOWN, DOWN, DOWN ??

?? POURIN' DOWN UPON THE NIGHT ??

?? WELL, THERE'S JUST ONE CHANCE IN A MILLION ??

?? THAT SOMEDAY WE'LL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE ??

?? RAIN, RAIN, RAIN ??

?? THE EVIL RAIN FALLIN' ALL THE TIME ??

?? SUN, SUN, SUN ?? DAMN.

?? SUN DON'T EVER WANT TO SHINE ??

?? WELL, THERE'LL BE NO LIGHT IN THE MORNIN' ??

?? 'LESS SOME PEACE AT LAST WE FIND ??

?? LIKE PROWLERS IN THE DARKNESS ??

?? CAN'T SEE OUR WAY ??

?? PROUD TO MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY ??

?? FA-FA-FATHER ??

?? WHY DO YOU LET YOUR SONS GO ASTRAY ??

?? BR-BR-BROTHER ??

?? WHY MUST WE GO ON THIS WAY ??

?? THERE'S A STORM UP IN THE DISTANCE ??

?? AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S HERE TO STAY ????

MR. ARBUTHNOT ?

THANK YOU.

OH, WE DON'T HAVE-- WE DON'T-- WE DON'T HAVE A BOOK.

OH, WELL, I'LL HAVE TO CALL MY PUBLISHER...

AND HAVE HIM SEND MORE DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY.

THAT'S THE PRICE OF GREATNESS.

I THINK IT'S MORE THE BOREDOM OF TRAVEL,

BUT THANKS ANYWAY FOR THE COMPLIMENT.

NO, NO. YOU ARE A GREAT MAN.

WELL, I'M A LOUD MAN,

BUT THANKS AGAIN.

SAY, UH, YOU FELLAS WOULDN'T KNOW...

WHERE A GUY COULD GET A DECENT MEAL AROUND HERE, WOULD YOU ?

YES. YES.

[ Paulie ] CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT NORMAN ARBUTHNOT WAS AT THE AIRPORT ?

[ Jude ] I'M SURE IT'S A REAL BITCH FLYING YOUR OWN PRIVATE JET.

HOW MANY DROPS DOES LUKE PUT IN ?

I THINK JUST A FEW.

WELL, FUCK THAT.

[ Luke ] MR. ARBUTHNOT ?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY GRACE ?

I DIDN'T KNOW PEOPLE SAID GRACE ANYMORE.

[ Weak Laughter ]

WE DON'T USUALLY, BUT WE JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE USED TO IT.

OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE, NO.

NO. IF ANYTHING, I THINK WE OUGHT TO...

BOW OUR HEADS AND THANK PAULIE FOR SUCH AN INCREDIBLE SPREAD.

BON APPETIT.

YOU KNOW, I'M FOREVER AMUSED BY THESE PEOPLE FROM THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT...

WHO THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD...

AND BLAME HUMANKIND FOR EVERYTHING THAT'S BAD.

MMM. MAY I ?

BUT ISN'T THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT YOUR STRONGEST SUPPORTER ?

MOST PEOPLE ALWAYS NEED SOMEBODY TO FOLLOW.

THEY CAN NEVER DO ANYTHING ON THEIR OWN.

OF COURSE,

THE MORAL MAJORITY MAKES UP A HUGE CONTINGENT OF THE REPUBLICAN RIGHT.

THEY DO, BUT THEY HAVE VERY LITTLE POWER.

I MEAN, THEY MAKE THE MOST NOISE,

BUT THE CENTRISTS DO ALL THE WORK.

THE EXTREMES OF BOTH PARTIES GRAB ALL THE HEADLINES,

BUT ALL THE DECISIONS ARE MADE BY THE MODERATES.

WELL, THAT SEEMS TO GO AGAINST MOST PEOPLE'S PERCEPTIONS.

ONLY NAIVE PEOPLE.

LISTEN, I CAN RANT AND RAVE WITH THE BEST OF THEM,

BUT HOW ELSE AM I GONNA GET HEARD ?

I'M NOT AN ELECTED REPRESENTATIVE OF THIS REPUBLIC.

I'M JUST A CONCERNED CITIZEN THAT SEES CERTAIN THINGS WRONG AND WANTS TO CHANGE THEM.

THAT'S WHAT'S GREAT ABOUT THIS COUNTRY.

BUT YOUR VIEWS ARE EXTREME,

AND EXTREME VIEWS INCITE PEOPLE TO EXTREME MEASURES.

I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERY NUTCASE...

WHO THINKS I MEAN SOMETHING WHEN I MEAN SOMETHING ELSE.

LOOK, I ADMIT TO SOMETIMES THROWING IN SOME PRETTY OUTRAGEOUS ARGUMENTS...

TO SUPPORT MY POSITIONS, BUT HEY, MAN,

IT'S THE RATINGS THING, YOU KNOW ?

BESIDES, THE AVERAGE CITIZEN KNOWS WHAT I'M DOING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

DISSENT. BEING THE VOICE OF DISSENT.

JEFFERSON, MONROE, PAINE. THEY WERE ALL CRITICS.

PUNDITS, IF YOU WILL, BEFORE THEY WERE THE POWER.

THIS IS EXCELLENT WINE BY THE WAY. WILLOWCREST MERLOT ?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, NORMAN ?

POWER ?

TO BE PRESIDENT ?

LUKE, I ALREADY HAVE POWER.

THE PRESIDENT ? HA !

HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY POWER.

HE'S GOTTA ANSWER TO CONGRESS, THE SPECIAL INTERESTS, THE COURTS.

- TO THE PEOPLE ? - WELL, TO A LESSER DEGREE TO THE PEOPLE.

BUT I GOT POWER. ONE VOICE, ONE VOTE.

BUT YOUR FOLLOWERS. THEY HATE ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH YOU AND YOUR OPINIONS.

WELL, FOLLOWERS OF NELSON MANDELA COMMIT MURDER.

FOLLOWERS OF GANDHI KILL PEOPLE.

YOU COMPARE YOURSELF TO MANDELA AND GANDHI ?

NO. THOSE ARE GREAT MEN. PAULIE'S THE ONE...

THAT SUGGESTED I HAVE FOLLOWERS, AS IF I COULD CONTROL WHAT PEOPLE DO.

PEOPLE DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.

LIKE HATE ?

WELL, IT'S TRUE YOU HAVE SOME HARMFUL PEOPLE...

ON BOTH THE EXTREME LEFT AND THE EXTREME RIGHT.

BUT I SUGGEST THAT THE MORE EXTREME...

THOSE OPPOSITES GET, THE MORE MODERATE THIS SOCIETY BECOMES.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU AVERAGE OUT ALL THOSE EXTREMES,

YOU COME OUT WITH A SOCIETY THAT'S PRETTY WELL ANCHORED IN THE MIDDLE,

AND THAT'S WHAT WE ALL WANT, ISN'T IT--

A SOCIETY WHERE ALL OF US CAN LIVE ?

ALL RACES, ALL RELIGIONS,

ALL VIEWS LIVING TOGETHER,

FORGING AHEAD AS ONE.

LOOK, IN ANY SOCIETY, NO MATTER HOW BIG OR SMALL,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE DISSENT.

I MEAN, LOOK AT THE FIVE OF YOU.

CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU AGREE ON EVERYTHING ?

SO, HOW IS ANY GOOD SUPPOSED TO GET DONE ?

MY FRIEND, I DO NOT PRESUME TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE.

ALL I KNOW IS YOU GOTTA DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO.

YOU HAVE TO BE THE BEST INDIVIDUAL SELVES YOU CAN BE.

OTHERWISE, WHY BOTHER, RIGHT ?

ANYTHING ELSE TURNS THE WORLD TO PURE MANURE.

UM, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD DRINK THAT ONE.

IT'S BEEN OUT FOR A LITTLE WHILE. IT'S PROBABLY GONE BAD.

I THINK THE WINE IS FINE.

WELL, I WOULD NEVER BE RUDE ENOUGH...

TO IGNORE THE SUGGESTION OF A LADY.

THANK YOU, JUDE.

IT'S 1909.

YOU'RE IN AUSTRIA, AND YOU'RE ALONE...

WITH A YOUNG ARTIST NAMED ADOLF HITLER.

[ Norman ] MM-HMM.

DO YOU KILL HIM ?

DO YOU MURDER HIM THERE EVEN THOUGH HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING YET ?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'LL SAVE ALL THOSE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

YOU'D LET PEOPLE DIE KNOWING YOU COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ?

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

WHAT I SAID WAS-- YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

YOU JUST TALK AND TALK AND SAY NOTHING SO MANY TIMES...

THAT PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE SAYING SOMETHING.

WHAT I WOULD DO, LUKE,

IF YOU WOULD LET ME FINISH, IS TALK TO THE MAN.

TRY TO SHOW HIM THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY.

CHALLENGE HIS IDEAS. EXCHANGE THOUGHTS.

PROVOKE CHANGE BY INTELLIGENT DEBATE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

UH, I GOTTA GET SOME DESSERT.

I'LL HELP.

[ Thunderclap ]

I HAVE TO GET SOMETHING FOR SOMEBODY.

WE ARE NOT GONNA DO THIS, RIGHT ? RIGHT.

WE GOT THE KING IN OUR GRASP.

HAVE YOU HEARD A WORD THE MAN SAID ?

DON'T YOU SEE THAT HE'S RIGHT ? WE'RE WRONG.

DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE FALLING FOR THIS SHIT. HE'S SATAN.

I DON'T KNOW. HE'S MAKING SOME SENSE.

YOU BLOW LIKE THE WIND. HE'S GIVING US PREPARED SPEECH.

HE'S SO USED TO DEFENDING HIMSELF, HE'S GOT A PAT ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING WE THROW AT HIM.

HE IS AN ICEMAN !

MAYBE WE'RE WRONG ABOUT HIM. MAYBE HE JUST DOES THIS FOR MONEY AND PUBLICITY.

YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. LIKE THAT'S BETTER. THAT'S WORSE !

CREATING ALL THIS HATE FOR THE DOLLAR ? COME ON !

WE'VE GOT NORMAN ARBUTHNOT IN THE PALM OF OUR HANDS.

CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF ? YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING CRAZY MAN.

IS IT CRAZY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE ?

IS IT CRAZY PUTTING THESE ASSHOLES IN THEIR PLACES ?

CAN'T YOU SEE THROUGH HIS SHIT ?

BEING FULL OF SHIT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO KILL HIM.

IT ISN'T THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL TURNING INTO THE FUCKING STEPFORD WIVES.

WELL, THIS IS GETTING US NOWHERE.

I'M SORRY, LUKE, BUT YOU HAVE TO HAVE UNANIMOUS CONSENT,

AND IT'S FOUR TO ONE THAT HE LIVES, SO--

I'M SORRY TOO, MARC, BECAUSE HE'S NOT GONNA FUCKING LIVE,

AND NOBODY IS GONNA STOP ME.

WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING ?

OH, MY GOD !

HE'S HITLER.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE GUN ?

HE'S HITLER, AND YOUR DEATHS WON'T MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, BUT HIS WILL.

SO JUST GET OUT OF MY WAY.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT GUN ?

THE SHERIFF.

- WHAT SHERIFF ? - OH, MY GOD. THE SHERIFF.

- THE SHER-- - THE SHERIFF'S MISSING.

- NOT ANYMORE. - OH, JESUS.

WHAT DID YOU DO ?

SHE WAS ONTO US. SHE WAS SNEAKING AROUND IN THE FAMILY PLOT.

YOU KILLED A COP ?

YOU RATHER I DIDN'T ?

YOU RATHER BE IN JAIL RIGHT NOW GETTIN' CORN-HOLED, RICH BOY ?

[ Thunder Rumbling ]

I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL TOGETHER ON THIS--

SERIOUS-- THAT WHAT WE WERE DOING WAS SOMETHING GREAT.

NOW, I'M SORRY SHE HAD TO DIE.

BUT SHE WAS IN OUR WAY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

WELL, SINCE YOU'VE COMPLETELY LOST IT, I'M CALLING THE COPS.

NO. NO.

- LUKE ? - SO SHOOT ME.

NO ! LUKE !

YOU HAVE REACHED THE IOWA POLICE EMERGENCY HOT LINE.

ALL OUR OFFICERS ARE BUSY RIGHT NOW.

PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE.

YOUR CALL WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE ORDER IT WAS RECEIVED.

LUKE ?

???? [ Pop Music Recording Plays Over The Phone ]

?? HOW GENTLE IS THE RAIN ??

?? THAT FALLS SOFTLY ON THE MEADOW ??

?? BIRDS HIGH UP IN THE TREES ??

?? SERENADE THE FLOWERS WITH THEIR MELODIES ??

?? OH, SEE THERE BEYOND THE HILL ?? [ Whimpers ]

?? THE BRIGHT COLORS OF THE RAINBOW ????

MARC. MARC.

MARC. MARC.

OH, GOD. COME ON.

YOU GUYS OKAY ?

FINE.

JUST A LITTLE NONNUCLEAR FAMILY VALUES PROBLEM.

OH.

GOD.

LIFE GETS MORE AND MORE COMPLICATED EVERY DAY.

WELL.

THE WEATHER'S BREAKING AND, UH--

WELL, I JUST WANTED TO DRINK A TOAST TO ALL YOU GUYS.

UH.

OH, NO, NO, NO. DON'T WORRY.

I DIDN'T POUR THE BAD WINE.

ACTUALLY, I THINK WE COULD--

WE COULD ALL USE A DRINK.

[ All Laugh ]

AREN'T YOU GOING TO JOIN US ?

NO, NO, NO, NO. PLEASE, PLEASE. I'VE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH.

BESIDES, I DON'T WANT YOU GUYS WAKING UP TO THE HEADLINE,

"OLD WINDBAG, FORCED TO HAVE LAST DRINK, CRASHES PRIVATE PLANE."

[ All Laugh ]

ISN'T IT BAD LUCK TO TOAST WITHOUT WINE ?

NOT IN CHINA.

[ Laughing ]

ANYWAY, TO YOUR HEALTH.

[ Cheering ]

[ Norman ] YOU KNOW, WHEREVER I TRAVEL...

IN THIS BOUNTIFUL LAND OF OURS,

THE QUESTION ON EVERYBODY'S MIND SEEMS TO BE...

WILL I MAKE A RUN...

FOR THIS COUNTRY'S HIGHEST OFFICE ?

WELL, MY FRIENDS,

SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY...

I ALREADY HAVE.

AT ANY RATE, ALL I WOULD LIKE TO SAY...

TO YOU WELL-WISHERS OUT THERE...

IS THAT I SHALL DO WHATEVER THE PEOPLE WANT ME TO DO,

BECAUSE I AM YOUR HUMBLE, HUMBLE SERVANT.

?? SUCH A FEELING COMING OVER ME ??

?? THERE IS WONDER IN THE THINGS I SEE ??

?? NOT A CLOUD IN THE SKY ??

?? GOT THE SUN IN MY EYES ??

?? AND I WON'T BE SURPRISED IF IT'S A DREAM ??

?? EVERYTHING I WANT THE WORLD TO BE ??

?? IS COMING TRUE ESPECIALLY FOR ME ??

?? AND THE REASON IS CLEAR ??

?? IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE HERE ??

?? YOU'RE THE NEAREST THING TO HEAVEN THAT I'VE SEEN ??

?? I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? LOOKING DOWN ON CREATION ??

?? AND THE ONLY EXPLANATION I CAN FIND ??

?? IS THE LOVE THAT I'VE FOUND ??

?? EVER SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AROUND ??

?? YOUR LOVE PUTS ME ??

?? ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

????

????

?? SOMETHING IN THE WIND HAS LEARNED MY NAME ??

?? TELLING ME THAT THINGS ARE NOT THE SAME ??

?? IT'S THE LEAVES ON THE TREES ??

?? AND THE TOUCH OF THE BREEZE ? ?

?? THERE'S A PLEASANT SENSE OF HAPPINESS FOR ME ??

?? THERE IS ONLY ONE WISH ON MY MIND ??

?? WHEN THIS DAY IS THROUGH I HOPE I'LL FIND ??

?? TOMORROW WILL BE THE SAME FOR YOU AND ME ??

?? ALL I NEED WILL BE MINE IF YOU ARE HERE ??

?? I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD LOOKING DOWN ON CREATION ??

?? AND THE ONLY EXPLANATION I CAN FIND ??

?? IS THE LOVE THAT I FOUND ??

?? EVER SINCE YOU'VE BEEN AROUND ??

?? YOUR LOVE PUTS ME ??

?? ON THE TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? SUCH A FEELING COMING OVER ME NOW ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? EVERYTHING I WANT THE WORLD TO BE NOW ??

?? ON TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? ON TOP TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? I'M ON TOP NOW I'M ON THE TOP NOW ??

?? YEAH, TOP OF THE WORLD ??

?? I'M ON TOP, TOP TOP, TOP, TOP ??

?? TOP OF THE WORLD ????