All language subtitles for Paternity Leave (2015)_ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,987 --> 00:00:28,987 Same sex marriages will hurt American birth rate and the economy... 2 00:00:29,031 --> 00:00:31,831 I'll be right with you so sorry. 3 00:00:33,377 --> 00:00:35,377 The government recently compared homosexuality... 4 00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:38,201 - How is this? - It's great the color is good. 5 00:00:42,096 --> 00:00:45,996 ... Revolves around maternity leave. What about paternity leave? 6 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:49,120 At this time American companies have no legal obligation... 7 00:00:49,144 --> 00:00:52,244 To give men any time off after the children are born. 8 00:00:52,758 --> 00:00:55,358 However third world companies have recently doubled the time 9 00:00:55,368 --> 00:00:58,367 Workers can take off for maternity and paternity leave. 10 00:00:58,606 --> 00:01:02,306 new moms getting 16 weeks and new dads getting eight weeks. 11 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,430 Brett, excuse me but... 12 00:01:04,454 --> 00:01:08,154 did new dads started lactating and I did not get the memo? 13 00:01:08,178 --> 00:01:09,578 I have no idea . 14 00:01:09,602 --> 00:01:11,102 So what's with the 8 weeks ? 15 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,612 The women are the ones who do all the work in the pregnancy 16 00:01:13,636 --> 00:01:15,836 Why would men need 8 weeks off? 17 00:01:15,846 --> 00:01:17,446 Oh my God, shut this bitch up! 18 00:01:17,470 --> 00:01:20,270 ... We started lactating too - Is that so? 19 00:01:20,329 --> 00:01:22,329 Your jump shots improved. 20 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,767 Oh Linda! 21 00:01:29,191 --> 00:01:31,491 One day you will die. 22 00:01:31,915 --> 00:01:34,415 And we will take you and we will have your corpse ... 23 00:01:34,439 --> 00:01:40,439 Burned at eighteen hundred degrees for approximately twenty minutes. 24 00:01:40,463 --> 00:01:45,663 And then we will gather your remains and we will put them in a pretty vase. 25 00:01:48,838 --> 00:01:50,638 Morbid. 26 00:01:51,139 --> 00:01:52,961 Hey! Connie. - Greg? 27 00:01:52,962 --> 00:01:54,962 The fucking babysitter just canceled! 28 00:01:54,986 --> 00:01:58,886 My date is gonna be here in like 1hour and 45 minutes. 29 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,610 Would you please come over? 30 00:02:00,634 --> 00:02:03,834 No, Connie today is our anniversary and Ken's in the shower right now. 31 00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:05,858 Oh shit, goddamit! 32 00:02:05,882 --> 00:02:09,182 Greg, please! I would not ask, but I'm just... 33 00:02:09,206 --> 00:02:10,906 I'm in a jam here. 34 00:02:10,930 --> 00:02:14,630 No! Connie we have reservations, we.... 35 00:02:20,318 --> 00:02:22,318 Wait. 36 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,042 Hi! - Hi! Hey! 37 00:02:24,066 --> 00:02:26,566 I'm sorry. My house smells like the chicken market. 38 00:02:26,590 --> 00:02:28,790 Oh dear 39 00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:32,114 Alright how do I look? And nobody says fat. 40 00:02:32,138 --> 00:02:33,438 - Good. - Astonishing. 41 00:02:33,462 --> 00:02:37,162 - So who will you going out tonight? - My neighbor. 42 00:02:38,568 --> 00:02:40,568 What's he like? 43 00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:44,190 He's really nice and we're not that worried we're not interested in each other. 44 00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:47,014 It's just a friendly neighbors kind of date. He is old. 45 00:02:47,038 --> 00:02:48,738 Sexy but old. 46 00:02:48,762 --> 00:02:50,962 - How old? - Seventy...? 47 00:02:50,986 --> 00:02:52,786 - Connie! 70 years?! - I know! 48 00:02:52,810 --> 00:02:56,010 He could be in the sixty and it would be nasty! All I know is he's got to be active because ... 49 00:02:56,034 --> 00:02:58,634 He was in the FBI like 40 years ago. 50 00:02:58,658 --> 00:03:00,458 The Federal Bureau of Narcotics? 51 00:03:00,482 --> 00:03:03,482 You sure he's not just some age down druggie? 52 00:03:05,096 --> 00:03:08,996 Oh honey! What is that? It came out? 53 00:03:09,311 --> 00:03:10,611 You know what you need to do? 54 00:03:10,635 --> 00:03:13,735 Put under your pillow so the Tooth fairy comes at night. Okay? 55 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,740 - Bye, Matt! - I'll leave you some money for that. 56 00:03:18,742 --> 00:03:20,842 Matt still believes in the Tooth Fairy? 57 00:03:20,866 --> 00:03:23,066 Tooth Fairy, Santa claus, all of them. 58 00:03:23,090 --> 00:03:24,090 Thank you. 59 00:03:24,678 --> 00:03:27,778 - One dollar? - Ciao. Don't worry about a thing. 60 00:03:36,062 --> 00:03:37,562 You know it's ridiculous. 61 00:03:37,986 --> 00:03:39,386 What? 62 00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:42,471 My sister dating a septagenarian? 63 00:03:44,028 --> 00:03:47,028 No, she fillling Matt's head with that stuff. 64 00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:50,252 Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy? 65 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:53,765 Not to mention the fact that she's ripping the kid off. 66 00:03:53,789 --> 00:03:56,989 I mean, why force him to believe in that stuff... 67 00:03:57,013 --> 00:04:00,513 If then she's gonna make the Tooth Fairy out to be a cheap bastard? 68 00:04:00,537 --> 00:04:04,437 Listen, I agree with you, that's why I gave him $ 5 dolars as opposed to one dolar. 69 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,461 - But.... - Nice work. 70 00:04:05,485 --> 00:04:09,285 What should be for Mother Goose? Mother Goose is never perceived to be real. 71 00:04:10,309 --> 00:04:12,509 - Whatever. - That's why they appear at night. 72 00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:18,233 It's why adults had such a hard time separating themselves from myths and religion. 73 00:04:18,457 --> 00:04:22,257 You know, they never learn to tell the differences between truth and fiction. 74 00:04:22,581 --> 00:04:26,181 I believe in myths. - I know you do. 75 00:04:26,805 --> 00:04:30,205 What you're saying is that if we have kids some day 76 00:04:30,529 --> 00:04:34,629 You wouldn't want them to believe in Santa claus or Easter Bunny? 77 00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:36,253 I don't know, I mean. 78 00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:39,977 Look, maybe my reasoning will change with time. 79 00:04:41,201 --> 00:04:44,501 Besides we said we wouldn't even talk about adoption for ten years. 80 00:04:44,525 --> 00:04:47,225 I know and we've been together for four. 81 00:04:50,449 --> 00:04:53,849 So check back with me in five and a half. 82 00:04:56,342 --> 00:05:00,042 - I'm sorry about tonight. - No, don't be. 83 00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:04,266 Matt is great and we're together. That's all that matters. 84 00:05:06,259 --> 00:05:08,459 - I got you something. - You did? 85 00:05:08,483 --> 00:05:10,483 - I did. - A present? 86 00:05:10,507 --> 00:05:12,507 For me? 87 00:05:21,194 --> 00:05:23,194 Greg...? 88 00:05:28,972 --> 00:05:31,172 Scales of Justice cufflinks? 89 00:05:31,196 --> 00:05:35,896 - Do you like it? - My Gosh, yes I love them! 90 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:39,620 All my clients are gonna be so jealous they gonna want to steal these. 91 00:05:39,644 --> 00:05:40,843 Good. 92 00:05:40,844 --> 00:05:42,844 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 93 00:05:42,868 --> 00:05:46,368 - I got you something too. - Really? 94 00:05:47,392 --> 00:05:49,392 It's In the bag there. 95 00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:52,516 - You sneaked into my bag? - Maybe. 96 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,840 You're so sneaky, yeah it's one of my favorites things about you. 97 00:05:56,864 --> 00:05:58,864 - Super Spy. - What is it? 98 00:06:06,468 --> 00:06:09,068 A Rose Anne biography 99 00:06:10,392 --> 00:06:13,792 Remember when we've been through the entire series? 100 00:06:15,216 --> 00:06:18,116 We did not leave the bedroom for a week. 101 00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:20,840 Dan! 102 00:06:22,035 --> 00:06:28,135 Oh my God, four years... - I know... Makes you think. 103 00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:32,288 FOUR YEARS BEFORE 104 00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:40,167 It's hot out there. 105 00:06:41,799 --> 00:06:44,099 - Yeah? - Yep. 106 00:06:44,441 --> 00:06:46,141 You're up for a run? 107 00:06:46,765 --> 00:06:48,765 What? 108 00:06:49,089 --> 00:06:52,389 You said you thought you gained some weight, maybe we should go for a run. 109 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:56,413 I love how you waited for me to disrobe to say that but... 110 00:06:57,337 --> 00:07:00,337 Come on, I'm getting chubby too, let's go for a run. 111 00:07:00,361 --> 00:07:02,361 What's wrong with chubby? Now I'm chubby? 112 00:07:02,385 --> 00:07:04,985 Here, look at this here, look at this. 113 00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:09,109 This is going to check the mail, that's all that this is from. 114 00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:11,733 It's 102 degrees outside and this is human. 115 00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:14,257 Greg, come on we're just walked there, I mean 116 00:07:14,281 --> 00:07:18,381 Look at us, all we ever do is watch movies and order in. 117 00:07:24,321 --> 00:07:26,521 Baby it's so hot! 118 00:07:27,545 --> 00:07:31,045 Let's turn back around and go get some lunch? 119 00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:39,020 No momma. 120 00:07:39,844 --> 00:07:41,844 Yes. 121 00:07:41,868 --> 00:07:45,068 It was just from checking the mail. 122 00:07:47,113 --> 00:07:49,113 No. 123 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,937 He got so fat. 124 00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:55,561 Yeah. 125 00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:58,343 No, I'm eating. 126 00:08:06,561 --> 00:08:08,561 I love you. 127 00:08:08,985 --> 00:08:11,985 I love you more, okay. 128 00:08:12,009 --> 00:08:14,009 Okay, bye. 129 00:08:14,033 --> 00:08:16,233 Okay. 130 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,328 Dan! 131 00:08:41,852 --> 00:08:43,852 - Dan! - What? 132 00:08:44,376 --> 00:08:47,176 What is the second part to this song? 133 00:08:49,051 --> 00:08:51,551 "It's alarming how charming I feel."' 134 00:08:51,561 --> 00:08:53,561 Okay. 135 00:08:54,511 --> 00:08:58,311 It's alarming how charming I feel. 136 00:09:06,737 --> 00:09:10,137 There's nothing to watch. - That's not true, you just passed by like... 137 00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:14,851 five things that I would watch or I have watched and I love. 138 00:09:16,285 --> 00:09:17,785 Like what? 139 00:09:17,809 --> 00:09:19,409 Soapdish 140 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:23,033 - Never heard of it, who's in it? - Sally field! 141 00:09:24,836 --> 00:09:26,736 The woman with the cookies? 142 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:28,360 Cookies ?! 143 00:09:28,405 --> 00:09:33,305 The cookies with the red and white wrappers in the airport newstands. 144 00:09:35,507 --> 00:09:38,007 - Airport newstands? - Yeah. 145 00:09:39,808 --> 00:09:44,608 Like "Everything that you were saying is wrong" Gidget? 146 00:09:44,632 --> 00:09:48,732 She won an Oscar! "You like me you really like me!" 147 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,898 She was the mom in Mrs Doubtfire. 148 00:09:54,541 --> 00:09:57,341 I don't "werk" with the males, 'cause I used to be one. 149 00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:00,999 What? 150 00:10:01,656 --> 00:10:03,556 You're a masochistic. 151 00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:05,280 Explain. 152 00:10:05,304 --> 00:10:07,004 How do you even find the time... 153 00:10:07,028 --> 00:10:10,028 For this little lovely and deceivable sexy kitten? 154 00:10:10,052 --> 00:10:13,552 Why would you even want to after the picture you painted of him? 155 00:10:13,576 --> 00:10:16,276 Is this the way you talk to your patients? 156 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,800 - No. -That is really good. 157 00:10:17,924 --> 00:10:19,123 Thank you, but... 158 00:10:19,124 --> 00:10:21,324 I'll tell you what's good for you. 159 00:10:21,348 --> 00:10:23,848 A healthy dose of breaking it off. 160 00:10:24,468 --> 00:10:26,068 Would you bring another glass? 161 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,092 The heart wants what it wants you know? 162 00:10:28,116 --> 00:10:32,116 Sometimes you meet someone and you fall in love, and that's all that is to it. 163 00:10:32,140 --> 00:10:34,440 Yeah, but you're not in love... 164 00:10:34,464 --> 00:10:38,164 You're tortured. And not even in the good way. 165 00:10:38,188 --> 00:10:40,188 But I'm sure the sex is great, right? 166 00:10:41,049 --> 00:10:44,249 But a healthy and equal relationship this is not. 167 00:10:44,273 --> 00:10:46,473 You are clearly doing all the heavy lifting. 168 00:10:47,925 --> 00:10:48,925 Gregory... 169 00:10:49,785 --> 00:10:52,885 What you need from a man is an intellectual equal. 170 00:10:53,938 --> 00:10:55,938 Not some junior sales associate... 171 00:10:55,962 --> 00:10:59,462 Who knows all the defining characteristics of the washes of denim. 172 00:10:59,486 --> 00:11:01,786 But if you're now interested in servicers level right now 173 00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:03,810 I should be pursuing dermatology. 174 00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:06,296 Hey, I resemble that remark. 175 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,420 Now it is serious. 176 00:11:08,444 --> 00:11:11,344 You avoid the psychiatry rotation like the plague. 177 00:11:11,368 --> 00:11:13,868 There's obviously no room for crazy and you know it. 178 00:11:13,892 --> 00:11:16,092 And you wanna place in radiation and oncology 179 00:11:16,116 --> 00:11:18,216 Because you have this Mother Teresa complex. 180 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,740 You love curing people but you can't cure this kid 181 00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:23,163 of his narcissism, Greg. It's incurable. 182 00:11:23,388 --> 00:11:25,688 -He might as well be mentally retarded. - You know, Ernie? 183 00:11:25,712 --> 00:11:28,312 You might have avoided your psychiatry rotation too 184 00:11:28,336 --> 00:11:30,736 If your very first patient on the rotation 185 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,560 Her problem was "I am the queen of Africa... 186 00:11:33,584 --> 00:11:35,284 And I have the papers to prove it. 187 00:11:35,308 --> 00:11:37,208 Followed by her shouting: 188 00:11:37,884 --> 00:11:41,784 "You can't have my pussy!" 189 00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:46,176 So I have this friend I'd like you to meet... 190 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,000 - Ernie... - What? 191 00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,033 I appreciate your concern 192 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,157 But I'm very much with Alex for the moment. 193 00:11:52,181 --> 00:11:54,681 You're very much tolerating Alex for the moment. 194 00:11:54,705 --> 00:11:56,305 And besides all I said was, 195 00:11:56,329 --> 00:11:58,129 I have a friend I'd like you to meet 196 00:11:58,153 --> 00:12:01,453 Not that I have a friend that I necessarily want you to go out and fuck. 197 00:12:02,586 --> 00:12:04,786 Just have a coffee and see what happens. 198 00:12:06,084 --> 00:12:09,184 - Who is he? - His name is Ken. 199 00:12:09,526 --> 00:12:12,326 He is a criminal defense attorney, he's very good looking and... 200 00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:15,850 I just texted you his number like two minutes ago. 201 00:12:15,874 --> 00:12:18,374 You were saying something...? 202 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:19,879 I shouldn't... 203 00:12:19,903 --> 00:12:23,303 Look, I already talked you up to him you would only disappoint by backing up now. 204 00:12:23,327 --> 00:12:26,527 I wouldn't be backing out I haven't made any plans with him so... 205 00:12:26,551 --> 00:12:29,251 - There's not backing out. - Greg, listen. 206 00:12:29,475 --> 00:12:32,075 I know you. You're not happy. 207 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000 And besides I'd rather see you single than... 208 00:12:35,024 --> 00:12:37,424 With someone who requires a trip to the diamond district 209 00:12:37,448 --> 00:12:39,648 Just so you can translate his terms of endearment. 210 00:12:39,672 --> 00:12:42,072 Okay, okay so talking isn't our strong point 211 00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:43,195 You think? 212 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,896 You gonna be a MD! 213 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:47,320 This kid can't even pronounce the word anxiety. 214 00:12:47,344 --> 00:12:48,644 Oh God... 215 00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:52,968 Orchide no really, is orchide. - Guys, give me a break, okay? 216 00:12:54,009 --> 00:12:56,309 - You guys just don't know him. - So really, what is it? 217 00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:58,333 What is it? Wait... 218 00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:01,657 What is the thing? Yeah he's pretty. 219 00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:02,781 What is it? 220 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,466 Well he got a 8-pound dick. 221 00:13:05,490 --> 00:13:07,890 Jesus, were you shop for a porn star? 222 00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:27,060 - Why was the door locked? - I don't know, habit? 223 00:13:31,122 --> 00:13:34,422 ... having such a good time. I think that we should- 224 00:13:39,620 --> 00:13:42,720 - Hey, Tad. - Hey. 225 00:13:47,442 --> 00:13:48,742 What was he doing here? 226 00:13:48,766 --> 00:13:50,766 Well, watching the Drags Race marathon. 227 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,390 Oh, yeah with the deadbolt locked. 228 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:55,714 Oh my God would you drop it? I said it was a mistake. 229 00:13:58,491 --> 00:13:59,691 Okay. 230 00:14:00,247 --> 00:14:02,547 Why did't you tell me he was coming over? 231 00:14:02,571 --> 00:14:04,471 I figured it wouldn't matter. 232 00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:07,995 Not matters? It matters, a lot Alex, I mean I... 233 00:14:09,419 --> 00:14:12,019 Fuck... It's one thing to come home 234 00:14:12,029 --> 00:14:15,229 Expecting to see your boyfriend and is another thing completely 235 00:14:15,253 --> 00:14:20,953 Come home and see some guy that I barely know sitting on my couch 236 00:14:20,963 --> 00:14:23,363 With his feet up on my furniture, eating my food. 237 00:14:23,387 --> 00:14:24,487 Okay? 238 00:14:24,511 --> 00:14:29,311 I own, all of the things in this apartment, and that includes the leftovers. 239 00:14:31,448 --> 00:14:33,448 Okay. 240 00:14:35,312 --> 00:14:37,512 Well, you know what? 241 00:14:37,536 --> 00:14:41,236 If that's how you gonna play maybe I should just go home tonight. 242 00:14:45,366 --> 00:14:47,666 Yeah, maybe you should. 243 00:14:50,311 --> 00:14:53,311 - I wasn't being serious. - Maybe I was. 244 00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:56,435 It's like really late and I'll probably wake my parents 245 00:14:56,445 --> 00:14:59,745 - If I went home right now. - So why did you suggested? 246 00:14:59,769 --> 00:15:02,669 Is this your way of scolding me like I'm your child? 247 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,693 I'm not scolding you but- 248 00:15:04,717 --> 00:15:07,017 Fuck I hope this is a wake up call. 249 00:15:07,027 --> 00:15:11,427 No, of course obviously I don't wanna to send you home at this hour but... 250 00:15:12,051 --> 00:15:13,651 This is my place, okay? 251 00:15:13,675 --> 00:15:16,475 And you can't just have people coming in without me knowing 252 00:15:16,485 --> 00:15:19,585 And you can not lock me out in the middle of the night! 253 00:15:19,595 --> 00:15:22,695 I did't lock you out! - You locked the deadbolt with someone else here! 254 00:15:22,719 --> 00:15:25,719 You know what? I don't wanna stay here tonight. 255 00:15:28,425 --> 00:15:30,825 You always get like this after hanging out with your friends. 256 00:15:30,849 --> 00:15:33,149 Like what? How do I get? 257 00:15:33,473 --> 00:15:37,273 You talk to me like you were better than me. 258 00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:40,097 Alex, I don't think that I am better... 259 00:15:40,121 --> 00:15:42,121 ... Than you. - No? 260 00:15:44,836 --> 00:15:46,836 I just think that we're different. 261 00:15:47,501 --> 00:15:50,301 I think that we are too different. 262 00:15:51,792 --> 00:15:55,592 - This isn't working. - Fucking, I knew it! 263 00:15:55,616 --> 00:15:57,516 Alex- - What? 264 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,240 Come here let's talk about this, okay? 265 00:15:59,264 --> 00:16:02,264 No come here. - Just sit down stop acting like a child. 266 00:16:02,288 --> 00:16:05,688 Don't tell me I'm acting like a child, I'm not acting like a child! 267 00:16:05,712 --> 00:16:08,712 No, you are behaving like a totaly mature adult. 268 00:16:12,362 --> 00:16:14,962 I'll come tomorrow to pick up my shit. 269 00:16:16,612 --> 00:16:19,812 You know, if that's convenient for you. 270 00:17:00,386 --> 00:17:03,186 So Ernie told me you're a medical student. 271 00:17:03,210 --> 00:17:07,110 Yes, I'm bad Ernie only told you that because I am... 272 00:17:07,134 --> 00:17:09,134 Actually dropped out. 273 00:17:09,451 --> 00:17:13,151 - You dropped out? - Yeah. I haven't told him that yet. 274 00:17:13,175 --> 00:17:14,375 I... 275 00:17:14,399 --> 00:17:17,499 I know that's kind of a loser thing to tell on the first date. 276 00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:21,121 This is our first date? 277 00:17:21,961 --> 00:17:24,761 I hoped this was our first date yes. 278 00:17:24,785 --> 00:17:27,685 And I hoped that it's okay that I'm okay. 279 00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:29,595 Hey you! My name is Greg, nice to meet you. 280 00:17:29,705 --> 00:17:32,405 I made a big decision this week. 281 00:17:32,429 --> 00:17:35,329 And I'm probably out of med school. I'm college drop out. 282 00:17:35,353 --> 00:17:37,353 Sorry I'm a loser. 283 00:17:37,377 --> 00:17:39,177 I hope I'm handsome enough. 284 00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:43,301 You know, I think if you're feeling pulled in a different direction 285 00:17:43,325 --> 00:17:45,425 Then you should listen to that. 286 00:17:47,138 --> 00:17:49,138 What? 287 00:17:49,462 --> 00:17:51,462 Just what I said, stick with your gut. 288 00:17:51,486 --> 00:17:54,086 You know, instincts are underrated nowadays but.... 289 00:17:54,110 --> 00:17:56,310 You gotta listen to them. 290 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,534 Do you want to... 291 00:17:58,558 --> 00:18:00,858 Break the news to my mom for me? 292 00:18:00,882 --> 00:18:03,082 No, that is all to you. 293 00:18:30,768 --> 00:18:34,568 Hey, what you're thinking about? 294 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,592 Nothing. 295 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,216 Everything you know. 296 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,640 How we got together and Sally field. 297 00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:46,064 And how much I love fast food and hate white wine. 298 00:18:46,288 --> 00:18:48,788 Lots, lots of things. 299 00:18:55,515 --> 00:18:57,115 No, no, no, you know why. 300 00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:58,125 I don't know why. 301 00:18:58,149 --> 00:19:00,449 - No! No, we can't! - Yes, I'll be quiet. 302 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,573 - No! Don't - He's sleeping. 303 00:19:01,597 --> 00:19:03,397 Don't start something you can not finish. 304 00:19:03,421 --> 00:19:05,521 I always end... - And you can not finish this... 305 00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:06,845 Because he's up there. 306 00:19:06,869 --> 00:19:10,569 Just relax, relax. 307 00:19:11,603 --> 00:19:16,303 I'll just kiss all of it, okay? - Like the French did. 308 00:19:16,327 --> 00:19:18,527 What with a cigarette in your mouth? 309 00:19:19,251 --> 00:19:21,051 - Baby, let me...? - No 310 00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:23,775 - Let you what? - Come on I just want... 311 00:19:23,799 --> 00:19:25,799 What? What do you want? 312 00:19:26,723 --> 00:19:28,723 I want to... 313 00:19:28,747 --> 00:19:31,047 Put myself inside you...? 314 00:19:32,611 --> 00:19:35,511 Where did this come from? Born again Top? 315 00:19:35,535 --> 00:19:40,535 I don't know, I'm feeling... adventurous, you know? 316 00:19:40,559 --> 00:19:44,559 - Like a finger or two or...? - No I, like with my penis. 317 00:19:48,149 --> 00:19:50,749 Wow! Okay, okay, alright. 318 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:52,773 - What? Okay? - Yeah okay. 319 00:19:52,797 --> 00:19:55,597 You are gonna need to get some lubricantion. 320 00:19:55,607 --> 00:19:58,207 Because the last thing that went up there was a colonoscopy. 321 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:01,331 When I was eight and before that a baby thermometer so... 322 00:20:01,371 --> 00:20:04,071 I'm gonna need some lubrication. 323 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,670 - Happy anniversary. - Okay. 324 00:20:06,694 --> 00:20:09,394 I'm sure Connie has some lube stashed here somewhere. 325 00:20:26,342 --> 00:20:28,242 Oh, my god, okay. 326 00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:38,368 Okay, I couldn't find any lube but I got some petroleum jelly. 327 00:20:39,373 --> 00:20:41,773 - Did you get condom? - What? 328 00:20:41,797 --> 00:20:43,997 - A condom. - For what? 329 00:20:44,021 --> 00:20:46,321 We're celebrating four years of monogamous bliss 330 00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:48,045 I don't think we need a condom. 331 00:20:48,069 --> 00:20:50,069 I think it gets messy. I don't want stuff get on you 332 00:20:50,093 --> 00:20:52,693 Okay, but let's just this time... 333 00:20:52,717 --> 00:20:55,817 Okay, but we have to...We have to do it somewhere else and ... 334 00:20:55,841 --> 00:20:58,341 We have to get some towels, - Why? why 335 00:20:58,365 --> 00:21:01,765 Because I don't want the couch to get- - Okay what about the floor? 336 00:21:01,789 --> 00:21:03,189 Okay, alright. 337 00:21:03,213 --> 00:21:05,513 I'll put this down here 338 00:21:05,537 --> 00:21:08,536 To be nice and comfy. Okay. 339 00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:16,463 Get this off. Get this off. 340 00:21:39,054 --> 00:21:42,454 - Easy, easy, easy. - Okay. 341 00:21:49,091 --> 00:21:52,591 You feel so good... 342 00:22:18,483 --> 00:22:21,683 Was a good six minutes? 343 00:22:22,619 --> 00:22:25,119 Six minutes? It was more like two. 344 00:22:25,887 --> 00:22:26,887 Well... 345 00:22:27,843 --> 00:22:30,643 When you got a dick in your ass time stand still. 346 00:22:34,652 --> 00:22:36,152 Don't I know? 347 00:22:36,176 --> 00:22:38,176 What is your fortune? 348 00:22:41,745 --> 00:22:44,145 No adventures away beyond the horizon. 349 00:22:44,293 --> 00:22:48,293 You gonna climb many mountains and be on top. 350 00:22:49,847 --> 00:22:52,047 Again? Round two? 351 00:22:52,510 --> 00:22:54,710 - Are you ready? - I'm in, okay. 352 00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:58,083 I don't know about what the conversation was... 353 00:22:58,131 --> 00:23:01,631 I just kept going in and out. I didn't know what he was talking anyway. 354 00:23:01,655 --> 00:23:04,355 I was so distracted by... 355 00:23:04,379 --> 00:23:07,379 the pendulum swings of his neck skin. 356 00:23:07,453 --> 00:23:11,853 It kind of ... get to a point I just gave up. 357 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,600 So... no second date? 358 00:23:14,650 --> 00:23:15,950 I'm guessing. 359 00:23:15,974 --> 00:23:17,874 Thursdays and Mondays. 360 00:23:17,898 --> 00:23:21,498 Oh, yeah of course we do. 361 00:23:26,278 --> 00:23:30,478 Her name was Linda, she was a drunk pet. 362 00:23:30,902 --> 00:23:34,402 She went to school but just couldn't rack up. 363 00:23:34,426 --> 00:23:39,126 Majored in ornithology. Yes, that bird watching. 364 00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:43,550 But she failed every test cause she ate them. 365 00:23:43,574 --> 00:23:47,974 That is her thing to do, because she's a cat. 366 00:23:47,998 --> 00:23:52,098 But then he went to Hollywood and married James cameron 367 00:23:56,156 --> 00:23:58,256 How is it going there baby? 368 00:23:58,380 --> 00:24:01,780 Swimmingly. What about you? 369 00:24:01,804 --> 00:24:04,604 Honestly? I am ready for a break. 370 00:24:08,630 --> 00:24:10,730 Yeah me too. 371 00:24:10,754 --> 00:24:12,454 - Oh, yeah? - Hum, Hum 372 00:24:12,454 --> 00:24:16,754 - One of these breaks? - Yeah, I think it's a good break. 373 00:24:16,778 --> 00:24:18,978 I like these breaks. 374 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,418 No, don't get it. No, don't! 375 00:24:22,442 --> 00:24:25,642 It might be the client, It might be the client, It might be the client. 376 00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:27,566 I'm sorry. 377 00:24:27,590 --> 00:24:29,590 Hello! This is Greg. 378 00:24:33,117 --> 00:24:36,517 Shouldn't you have said are you sitting down first? Jesus! 379 00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:39,641 No, no I'm in bed, I'm in bed sorry. 380 00:24:39,865 --> 00:24:41,865 What happened? 381 00:24:45,064 --> 00:24:47,664 - Oh! My God! - What? 382 00:24:48,288 --> 00:24:50,288 Yeah, we'll... 383 00:24:50,312 --> 00:24:53,112 We'll be there soon, like ten minutes, okay? 384 00:24:53,336 --> 00:24:55,336 Yeah, love you. 385 00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,960 That was Richard. 386 00:25:01,584 --> 00:25:05,984 - Ernie had a stroke. - Oh my God! 387 00:25:39,159 --> 00:25:41,159 - Hey baby. - Hey. 388 00:25:47,510 --> 00:25:49,510 You okay? 389 00:25:50,234 --> 00:25:53,734 Yeah, I just ... thinking about Ernie. 390 00:25:54,158 --> 00:25:57,658 - Have you talked to him lately? - No, I feel like such an asshole. 391 00:25:57,682 --> 00:25:58,882 Baby, don't... I mean. 392 00:25:58,892 --> 00:26:02,592 After the time when you called over that his parents have turned you away. - True. 393 00:26:04,716 --> 00:26:06,616 Max asleep already? 394 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,240 Yes, he's in bed thank you so much for being cool about this. 395 00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:12,264 It's fine. 396 00:26:16,525 --> 00:26:20,725 - You're all sweaty. - Yeah, I know, it's burning hot in here. 397 00:26:20,749 --> 00:26:23,549 - Are you that hot? - No, I'm fine. 398 00:26:23,573 --> 00:26:25,773 I can turn on the air a little bit to cool. 399 00:26:25,783 --> 00:26:27,783 Thank you. 400 00:26:27,807 --> 00:26:30,807 I didn't want to touch it because I know how cold that you can get. 401 00:26:32,428 --> 00:26:34,428 Bed time for us too. 402 00:26:34,452 --> 00:26:36,752 No, I have to finish this. 403 00:26:37,176 --> 00:26:39,176 - Come to bed... - No. 404 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,400 - Yes. - No. 405 00:26:40,424 --> 00:26:42,324 - Yes. - I can't, I can't. 406 00:26:42,348 --> 00:26:45,348 I have to finish my work. 407 00:26:45,372 --> 00:26:47,372 - Pay the bills. - Fine. 408 00:26:59,165 --> 00:27:01,165 Okay, I will. 409 00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:30,277 - Oh, my God! What the fuck! - I'm sorry. 410 00:27:30,301 --> 00:27:31,401 - What the... - I'm sorry. 411 00:27:31,425 --> 00:27:33,125 Get off of me! 412 00:27:39,977 --> 00:27:42,877 Hey! I.... 413 00:27:42,901 --> 00:27:44,501 Why didn't you tell me that you were weren't well? 414 00:27:44,511 --> 00:27:47,311 Sorry I just didn't think it was serious 415 00:27:47,335 --> 00:27:49,235 It was so disgusting. 416 00:27:49,259 --> 00:27:51,259 - I know. - Seriously I can't- 417 00:28:08,745 --> 00:28:11,445 - Hello? - Hey. How you feeling? 418 00:28:11,469 --> 00:28:13,169 Much better, better. 419 00:28:13,193 --> 00:28:15,493 Well, did you have anything to eat today? 420 00:28:15,817 --> 00:28:20,317 Yes, everything. I had everything to eat. 421 00:28:20,841 --> 00:28:22,541 Okay, great. 422 00:28:22,565 --> 00:28:26,265 So I guess we're officially out of groceries now. 423 00:28:26,789 --> 00:28:29,689 Well, there might be some eggs with luck. 424 00:28:29,713 --> 00:28:31,713 Or cans of tuna. 425 00:28:32,813 --> 00:28:35,113 Okay, order in the drive through. 426 00:28:37,802 --> 00:28:41,302 Can we get like Chinese food on top of the pizza? 427 00:28:43,859 --> 00:28:46,359 - Hey this one looks good. - What? 428 00:28:46,907 --> 00:28:49,307 Oh don't mind it's subtitled. 429 00:28:49,331 --> 00:28:52,331 And guessing you're not in the mood to read a movie... 430 00:28:53,355 --> 00:28:55,655 I've just take cheese off of the remote control 431 00:28:55,679 --> 00:28:57,479 Now I'm not on the mood to read my movie? 432 00:28:57,503 --> 00:28:59,503 Yeah I saw that. 433 00:29:01,327 --> 00:29:03,227 How about a documentary? 434 00:29:03,251 --> 00:29:08,151 I don't know... it's kind of boring to watch something that we've seen a million times before. 435 00:29:08,175 --> 00:29:09,175 Like Lulas. 436 00:29:09,185 --> 00:29:11,985 Baby, we've just watched that like three days ago. 437 00:29:12,023 --> 00:29:14,123 Fine, watch what you wanna watch. 438 00:29:14,147 --> 00:29:17,547 I'm not gonna be able to pay much attention my brain is fried. 439 00:29:17,571 --> 00:29:21,771 - Hello Helene. - Hello Helene. 440 00:29:39,817 --> 00:29:41,817 Oh, my God! 441 00:29:41,841 --> 00:29:45,241 Seriously, if you roll around any harder I gonna be sick. 442 00:29:45,265 --> 00:29:50,165 I'm sorry but I'm tossing and turning because I'm trying to keep from puking. 443 00:29:50,189 --> 00:29:52,189 Again? 444 00:29:53,713 --> 00:29:55,913 You know what? Tomorrow ... 445 00:29:56,721 --> 00:29:59,321 You should really go see a doctor. - For indigestion? 446 00:29:59,361 --> 00:30:03,761 This isn't indigestion, I ate the same things you ate and I'm not sick. 447 00:30:04,585 --> 00:30:06,585 I don't have health insurance. 448 00:30:06,609 --> 00:30:08,709 So what? Go Greg. 449 00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:11,619 A general partition is gonna cost next to nothing. 450 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:14,043 Go and see Dr. Elliot she's great. 451 00:30:14,367 --> 00:30:16,267 Plus she owes me a favor. 452 00:30:16,291 --> 00:30:18,991 I've got her husband office last year, didn't I? 453 00:30:19,575 --> 00:30:21,875 Just go to bed quietly. 454 00:30:22,267 --> 00:30:24,067 Don't move. 455 00:30:26,454 --> 00:30:29,554 - Hello Greg, I'm Dr. Elliot. - Hi Dr. Elliot, nice to meet you. 456 00:30:29,643 --> 00:30:31,343 So what's been happening? 457 00:30:31,367 --> 00:30:34,967 I've been dizzy, I get nauseous have recurring headaches... 458 00:30:34,991 --> 00:30:37,491 Well, something is wrongs. Let's take a look, shall we? 459 00:30:48,963 --> 00:30:50,963 You're fine, Greg. 460 00:30:50,987 --> 00:30:52,887 Your tests came back fine. 461 00:30:52,911 --> 00:30:58,011 Your blood test is fine, HIV is negative, You probably just got a flu bug. 462 00:30:58,035 --> 00:31:00,435 Just gonna have to switch it out. 463 00:31:01,159 --> 00:31:02,959 This is not the flu. 464 00:31:02,983 --> 00:31:06,883 Of course it's the flu, throwing up is what happens when you have the flu. 465 00:31:06,907 --> 00:31:08,707 Not only throwing up happens when you have the flu. 466 00:31:08,717 --> 00:31:11,017 But a lot of other stuff also happens like 467 00:31:11,041 --> 00:31:14,641 Sore throat, and aching muscles, and coughing. 468 00:31:14,665 --> 00:31:17,765 And I don't have any of those, plus when was the last time both of 469 00:31:17,789 --> 00:31:19,589 your feet went numb when you had the flu? 470 00:31:19,613 --> 00:31:22,713 I'm sure Dr. Elliot knows what she's talking about. 471 00:31:26,106 --> 00:31:28,106 What? 472 00:31:28,630 --> 00:31:30,230 What? 473 00:31:30,854 --> 00:31:34,154 - Am I fat? Am I hideous? - What? No! 474 00:31:34,178 --> 00:31:37,278 I saw that you looked at me, I know that that's what you were thinking. 475 00:31:37,302 --> 00:31:39,302 Baby, I wasn't even looking at you. 476 00:31:39,326 --> 00:31:41,726 - You weren't? - No, I was ... 477 00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:46,250 Looking at myself in the mirror, with my back turned to you much like it is now. 478 00:31:46,874 --> 00:31:49,574 I just thought I saw you looking at me out of the corner of his eyes 479 00:31:49,598 --> 00:31:51,898 Honey, I think you're sorrow. 480 00:31:52,722 --> 00:31:57,822 You're starting to sound like every other husband on the face of the earth. 481 00:31:57,846 --> 00:31:59,446 How is that? 482 00:32:00,270 --> 00:32:05,970 You are so agreeable! "Yes, dear", "No dear" 483 00:32:05,994 --> 00:32:08,594 You don't likethat about me? That I'm agreeable? 484 00:32:08,918 --> 00:32:11,018 No I love that you're agreeable. 485 00:32:11,042 --> 00:32:14,642 But I just wanna make sure that you're being sincere, okay? 486 00:32:14,966 --> 00:32:17,466 Don't take this the wrong way, dear but ... 487 00:32:17,490 --> 00:32:20,890 You're beginning to sound like any other wife in the face of the planet. 488 00:32:23,914 --> 00:32:26,414 I thought you were the wife. 489 00:32:27,538 --> 00:32:29,738 According to your chart, everything is normal. 490 00:32:29,762 --> 00:32:31,862 No, everything is not normal. 491 00:32:31,886 --> 00:32:35,186 I got heartburn, cramps, almost constant nausea, swelling. 492 00:32:35,210 --> 00:32:39,010 My feet are swelling inside my shoes right now, so. 493 00:32:39,334 --> 00:32:43,434 - Any acne? - Yes, thank you for noticing. 494 00:32:43,458 --> 00:32:46,558 He's also having a lot of mood swings. 495 00:32:49,117 --> 00:32:52,717 - You're hungry all the time? - Yes. Okay. 496 00:32:53,441 --> 00:32:56,641 Greg I'd like to recommend you seeing an specialist. 497 00:32:56,665 --> 00:32:59,165 - An specialist? - What kind of specialist? 498 00:32:59,189 --> 00:33:01,389 Well, you're not suffering from any illness. 499 00:33:01,513 --> 00:33:05,213 So whatever it is, it's unusual. And what you said that means 500 00:33:05,223 --> 00:33:08,223 Swelling, blossoming... 501 00:33:08,847 --> 00:33:12,247 - It's if you were... - Becoming doctor Hulk? 502 00:33:12,471 --> 00:33:15,471 It's if you were expecting a baby. 503 00:33:17,544 --> 00:33:20,544 - Excuse me, what? - I know it sounds ridiculous. 504 00:33:20,568 --> 00:33:22,468 But Greg what you are describing... 505 00:33:22,492 --> 00:33:26,292 Is what I'd expect to hear from a woman who was four months pregnant. 506 00:33:26,316 --> 00:33:30,016 And outside of that, you couldn't be in better shape. 507 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,040 So I don't think there's anything that I can do for you. 508 00:33:34,050 --> 00:33:36,950 But I do want you to consult with this friend of mine. 509 00:33:37,274 --> 00:33:40,174 I'd also like to put you on a strict diet. 510 00:33:40,398 --> 00:33:42,798 Starting immediately. 511 00:33:48,971 --> 00:33:51,371 What...? I was going... 512 00:33:52,187 --> 00:33:53,887 It's still good. 513 00:33:55,596 --> 00:33:57,896 Have you made the appointment with that especialist yet? 514 00:33:57,920 --> 00:33:58,920 No, I... 515 00:33:58,944 --> 00:34:01,144 Isn't it obvious that she just thinks that- 516 00:34:01,168 --> 00:34:02,368 That's diet okay? 517 00:34:02,378 --> 00:34:03,978 - Greg I'm serious. - Just think that I have 518 00:34:03,998 --> 00:34:05,598 A weight problem, okay? - I am serious. 519 00:34:05,612 --> 00:34:06,912 I'll go on the diet. I'll go on the diet 520 00:34:06,936 --> 00:34:08,836 And then we'll see what happens. - Yes Yes. 521 00:34:08,860 --> 00:34:12,960 You'll go on the diet and you're also making an appointment with the especialist , okay? 522 00:34:12,984 --> 00:34:15,384 I'd throw myself out the window if anything ever happen to you. 523 00:34:15,408 --> 00:34:17,408 You can't be that serious. 524 00:34:20,532 --> 00:34:22,732 Doctor's Office 525 00:34:23,256 --> 00:34:27,056 One possible reason for Dr. Elliot send me here? 526 00:34:27,080 --> 00:34:29,080 I don't know. 527 00:34:31,977 --> 00:34:33,977 There it is. 528 00:34:34,401 --> 00:34:36,701 What it is? 529 00:34:40,777 --> 00:34:45,777 Is that a ... tumor? - No, it's not a tumor. 530 00:34:45,801 --> 00:34:48,801 This is closer to his abdominal cavity here. 531 00:34:53,964 --> 00:34:56,164 Thank you. 532 00:35:00,273 --> 00:35:04,373 - You two are sexually active? - Yes 533 00:35:04,597 --> 00:35:06,597 Do you use protection? 534 00:35:06,821 --> 00:35:10,621 No, not anymore, we've been together for a very long time. 535 00:35:16,321 --> 00:35:19,221 Alright I need to make a phone call. 536 00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:22,584 Would you two mind waiting in my office? 537 00:35:28,153 --> 00:35:31,253 I wonder what he saw? Like, have you seen the look on his eyes? 538 00:35:37,438 --> 00:35:40,838 - Dr. Elliot? Hi guys. - Oh my god is this serious? 539 00:35:49,340 --> 00:35:51,840 You are pregnant. 540 00:35:58,020 --> 00:36:00,020 What? 541 00:36:01,344 --> 00:36:03,344 Okay, alright. 542 00:36:03,368 --> 00:36:06,368 - Alright. - Greg? 543 00:36:08,829 --> 00:36:10,829 You guys!! 544 00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,171 Greg? 545 00:36:14,295 --> 00:36:17,995 I'm gonna say this as plainly as I possibly can. 546 00:36:18,419 --> 00:36:22,719 You have a human fetus growing withing your abdominal cavity. 547 00:36:22,843 --> 00:36:26,143 Just as it would grow within a woman's uterus. 548 00:36:26,367 --> 00:36:30,367 Your baby has fingernails. 549 00:36:30,891 --> 00:36:34,491 Okay, guys, like that was, that was funny but... 550 00:36:34,515 --> 00:36:38,015 You're welcomed to seek a second opinion or third in this case 551 00:36:38,039 --> 00:36:41,339 We... We would encourage that. 552 00:36:42,163 --> 00:36:45,163 Is this... I mean, could medication have caused this? 553 00:36:45,173 --> 00:36:49,373 It has taken sleeping pills? Maybe we're elegible for legal recourse. 554 00:36:49,397 --> 00:36:51,397 You should really look into this. 555 00:36:51,421 --> 00:36:53,921 I've never seen a pill create a womb. 556 00:36:54,345 --> 00:36:59,645 In fact I've never seen anything remotely like this. Neither does he. 557 00:37:00,669 --> 00:37:06,569 Greg, at this point you are a medical miracle. 558 00:37:06,793 --> 00:37:10,393 49 million years of evolution and I am the first man in the history of the world 559 00:37:10,403 --> 00:37:14,003 To ever get pregnant! Why?! Why me ?! - Greg, please just try and relax. 560 00:37:14,041 --> 00:37:17,241 Oh yes! Just try and relax with a baby inside of you! 561 00:37:17,265 --> 00:37:19,565 Are you in Valium? Is that an option? 562 00:37:19,789 --> 00:37:23,889 You know, technically you're the second. Don't forget about Thomas baby? 563 00:37:23,913 --> 00:37:27,113 Except you know Greg was actually born a man so... 564 00:37:27,537 --> 00:37:29,837 How could this happen? I could never do anything right... 565 00:37:29,861 --> 00:37:31,961 That's your mother talking. - Is it? 566 00:37:31,985 --> 00:37:34,985 Stop torturing yourself, you can't help it, is not your fault. 567 00:37:35,009 --> 00:37:38,009 Of course it's my fault! I was the idiot that let him top! 568 00:37:38,033 --> 00:37:40,933 - So now it's my fault? - Yes! Yes it's your fault! 569 00:37:40,957 --> 00:37:44,057 You were the person that just had to have and you were so insistent... 570 00:37:44,181 --> 00:37:46,781 That we have sex right there on Connie's living room floor! 571 00:37:46,805 --> 00:37:49,505 Wait, what ?! You had sex in my house? 572 00:37:49,529 --> 00:37:52,629 Oh yeah. Right there, next to the couch. - Greg stop please! 573 00:37:52,653 --> 00:37:55,553 What the fuck! When? - When you were walking the neighbor! 574 00:37:55,977 --> 00:37:57,877 Were in the neighbor...? 575 00:37:57,901 --> 00:38:00,701 Oh my God! You guys had sex while you were babysitting?! 576 00:38:00,965 --> 00:38:02,665 Where was Max? 577 00:38:02,749 --> 00:38:04,549 We were very quite quiet, he was upstairs... 578 00:38:04,573 --> 00:38:08,673 I don't have any health insurance! How anyone has a baby without health insurance? 579 00:38:08,697 --> 00:38:11,197 Greg, we sign up. Come on I've been you to sign up. 580 00:38:11,221 --> 00:38:14,521 What happens if it's deformed? 581 00:38:14,545 --> 00:38:15,644 582 00:38:15,645 --> 00:38:17,845 - Someone will find that charming. - That's not charming. 583 00:38:17,869 --> 00:38:20,569 It could be a gold medal gymnastics. It could be a... 584 00:38:20,593 --> 00:38:25,193 Or could bag groceries or could be addicted to black tar heroin...? 585 00:38:25,241 --> 00:38:29,341 So... So what? Look, anything can happen, anything can happen? 586 00:38:29,365 --> 00:38:33,865 Yes, I have a girl friend who is a personal incontinence consultant . 587 00:38:33,989 --> 00:38:37,489 She takes orders for adult diapers over the phone. 588 00:38:38,115 --> 00:38:40,314 Thank god for baby boomers. 589 00:38:42,306 --> 00:38:44,506 What? I'm just agreeing with you. 590 00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:46,530 Anything can happen. 591 00:38:47,461 --> 00:38:51,661 My friend, she's married, she has a kid... in a therapy. 592 00:38:52,285 --> 00:38:54,285 She's happy! 593 00:38:55,609 --> 00:38:58,109 There are so many great little boy names... 594 00:38:58,133 --> 00:39:00,833 Hank Fisher, Matt, everybody loves a Matt. 595 00:39:00,833 --> 00:39:04,333 I can't be responsible for the way some kid's life turns out okay? 596 00:39:04,457 --> 00:39:06,057 I can't. 597 00:39:07,004 --> 00:39:09,204 That's what you're thinking? - Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. 598 00:39:09,228 --> 00:39:10,228 What... 599 00:39:10,252 --> 00:39:12,852 What about our apartment? Like we don't have enough room? 600 00:39:12,876 --> 00:39:14,376 - For what? - For a kid! 601 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:18,100 We barely have enough room for Linda and she is a cat so... 602 00:39:19,786 --> 00:39:21,686 Okay, you're right. 603 00:39:21,710 --> 00:39:25,010 Changes are gonna happen when we have a baby but... 604 00:39:25,034 --> 00:39:29,234 I mean, who cares? We'll redecorate. 605 00:39:31,629 --> 00:39:33,729 Don't you want this? Can't you feel it? 606 00:39:33,753 --> 00:39:36,053 Yeah, I can feel it. Yeah, absolutely I can feel it... 607 00:39:36,077 --> 00:39:39,677 I can feel it moving around, and kicking and sharpening its little fingernails 608 00:39:39,701 --> 00:39:43,001 And sending emails and playing cards because it's living inside of me. 609 00:39:43,025 --> 00:39:44,825 It's living inside of ME! 610 00:39:44,849 --> 00:39:47,049 Baby, it is because you are a medical miracle! 611 00:39:47,073 --> 00:39:49,073 I don't wanna be a medical miracle! 612 00:39:49,097 --> 00:39:51,897 I DON'T WANT TO BE A MEDICAL MIRACLE! 613 00:39:51,921 --> 00:39:54,621 I didn't even want to be a doctor! 614 00:39:58,816 --> 00:40:00,316 That night, remember? 615 00:40:00,340 --> 00:40:03,240 When you told me that you're gonna drop out of medical school...? 616 00:40:03,264 --> 00:40:04,764 What did I say to you? 617 00:40:04,788 --> 00:40:08,588 Said that if I was being pulled in a different direction 618 00:40:08,612 --> 00:40:11,212 I should go with it. I should follow my instincts. 619 00:40:11,236 --> 00:40:12,336 And what is this? 620 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,660 Sure, maybe it is more of a thrust than a pull 621 00:40:14,684 --> 00:40:17,484 But baby, this is a different direction! 622 00:40:17,508 --> 00:40:21,308 And my guts is telling me that this is what supposed to happen! 623 00:40:21,763 --> 00:40:25,163 You bottom one night out of hundreds! 624 00:40:25,187 --> 00:40:28,187 Okay, thousands and bam, you were pregnant! 625 00:40:28,211 --> 00:40:32,611 - Don't you think that's amazing? - Yeah, lucky me... 626 00:40:45,558 --> 00:40:48,058 I don't think there is anyone answer 627 00:40:48,074 --> 00:40:50,074 It is multilayer ... 628 00:40:51,881 --> 00:40:54,381 A man in Los Angeles, was the first pioneer 629 00:40:54,405 --> 00:40:56,805 of this revolutionary social transformation 630 00:41:01,256 --> 00:41:02,656 What is this? 631 00:41:03,745 --> 00:41:07,845 An overweight gay man, apparently gave birth to a healthy baby girl 632 00:41:07,893 --> 00:41:10,493 In a West Hollywood toilet last night. 633 00:41:12,573 --> 00:41:13,573 What...? 634 00:41:13,597 --> 00:41:16,797 I think the question on everyone's mind is: What caused this? 635 00:41:16,821 --> 00:41:21,421 could be a random genetic strain that mutates among the male species? 636 00:41:21,445 --> 00:41:24,445 perhaps there is some common food on the market 637 00:41:24,469 --> 00:41:27,969 Some product which would further this on the males? 638 00:41:27,993 --> 00:41:31,093 A sort of counter contraceptive pill? 639 00:41:31,117 --> 00:41:33,917 Now members of the medical community like yourself 640 00:41:33,941 --> 00:41:35,941 Are coming forward saying they see 641 00:41:35,965 --> 00:41:38,665 Millions of men experiencing... 642 00:41:46,282 --> 00:41:47,882 It's on every channel. 643 00:41:47,906 --> 00:41:50,406 ... the very foundation of what it is to be a man 644 00:41:50,430 --> 00:41:52,830 And what it is to be a woman... 645 00:41:54,291 --> 00:41:55,991 What is wrong? 646 00:41:58,526 --> 00:42:00,226 Nothing... 647 00:42:00,669 --> 00:42:02,669 It's just that I... 648 00:42:02,822 --> 00:42:06,622 You know I'm not religious or spiritual or any of that I just... 649 00:42:06,692 --> 00:42:09,592 I can not help but feel let down by all of this. 650 00:42:09,616 --> 00:42:10,716 Why? 651 00:42:10,740 --> 00:42:14,240 Because I thought what we had between us was special, you know? 652 00:42:14,264 --> 00:42:15,864 Something... 653 00:42:16,074 --> 00:42:18,574 Giving meaning to our lives. 654 00:42:21,591 --> 00:42:24,691 Yeah if you're talking about our unborn child. 655 00:42:24,715 --> 00:42:27,515 Then there is something special between us. 656 00:42:27,539 --> 00:42:31,639 I'm talking about the pregnancy that it even happened at all. 657 00:42:31,663 --> 00:42:33,063 I mean... 658 00:42:33,087 --> 00:42:37,087 I thought this was a miracle. It turns out that's a goddamn epidemic! 659 00:42:37,111 --> 00:42:38,111 So...? 660 00:42:38,135 --> 00:42:41,835 So?! We're not gonna matter, okay? 661 00:42:41,859 --> 00:42:43,359 Our baby is not gonna matter. 662 00:42:43,383 --> 00:42:46,283 We're just like everybody else. Anyone can make a baby. 663 00:42:46,307 --> 00:42:49,307 Is that... Is that all you care about? The attention? 664 00:42:49,331 --> 00:42:51,531 You just want people to come by and- 665 00:42:51,555 --> 00:42:56,355 Greg, of course not. No I just... I thought we were the first. 666 00:42:57,271 --> 00:43:01,171 We were like the Neil Armstrong of male on male conception. 667 00:43:01,765 --> 00:43:03,665 One small step for a man 668 00:43:03,689 --> 00:43:06,189 One giant fucking leap for mankind! 669 00:43:06,213 --> 00:43:09,013 Well, with great hopes comes high disappointment. 670 00:43:09,037 --> 00:43:10,937 I'm upset. Can't I be upset? 671 00:43:10,961 --> 00:43:14,061 Sure, sure. You can be upset. Absolutely, but... 672 00:43:14,098 --> 00:43:16,598 Frankly I'm excited that we won't have news cameras 673 00:43:16,622 --> 00:43:20,122 Pointed at our door 24 hours a day. 674 00:43:33,103 --> 00:43:35,103 Right. 675 00:43:39,129 --> 00:43:42,429 Ken has been acting strange recently. 676 00:43:42,810 --> 00:43:46,910 Well, men have been known to act strangely in pregnancy. 677 00:43:46,934 --> 00:43:48,434 It's too different for them. 678 00:43:48,458 --> 00:43:51,558 They're not actually going through it. - Yeah, I know, I know I'm through it. 679 00:43:51,582 --> 00:43:55,082 Yeah, right, and now if you go throught it... 680 00:43:55,206 --> 00:43:57,606 You have to. 681 00:43:58,334 --> 00:44:02,434 You deal with it, and you'll never forget what your child mean to you. 682 00:44:02,454 --> 00:44:05,354 Yeah, what my child means to me... 683 00:44:05,378 --> 00:44:08,378 It's a completely fucking pain the ass. 684 00:44:08,902 --> 00:44:12,602 No, your children are meaningful. 685 00:44:12,626 --> 00:44:16,026 I don't talk a mere contribution to the world. 686 00:44:16,538 --> 00:44:19,938 I have an appointment. I need to go check on my little contribution. 687 00:44:20,737 --> 00:44:24,037 - Thanks for the insight. - You're welcome. 688 00:44:25,598 --> 00:44:27,498 - Look at you. Need help? - No, I'm fine. 689 00:44:27,522 --> 00:44:29,922 I would reel you in. 690 00:44:31,914 --> 00:44:34,314 Are you here to pick up your wife? 691 00:44:34,982 --> 00:44:35,982 No. 692 00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:38,706 So I just been feeling a little hot lately. 693 00:44:39,532 --> 00:44:41,832 In hot flashes, do you think that's possible? 694 00:44:41,856 --> 00:44:43,856 You're not 32 years old! 695 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,780 Yeah, but the women in my family we all start things earlier. 696 00:44:46,804 --> 00:44:48,604 I hit puberty at nine. 697 00:44:48,696 --> 00:44:51,696 Hormones in chicken? Did you grew up eating a lot of fast food? 698 00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:55,220 Excuse me? Do I look like I grew up eating a lot of Fast food? 699 00:44:55,401 --> 00:44:57,401 I didn't mean anything by it I just- 700 00:44:57,425 --> 00:44:59,425 You know what Doctor? I think we are done here. 701 00:44:59,449 --> 00:45:02,749 Just forget about it. I appreciate your time. 702 00:45:12,720 --> 00:45:15,720 Greg, I will see you now. 703 00:45:19,556 --> 00:45:21,656 The baby will be due October 18th. 704 00:45:21,884 --> 00:45:24,984 Okay. So what do we do on the due day? 705 00:45:25,008 --> 00:45:28,608 Well it's a surgical procedure similar to a C- section. 706 00:45:28,632 --> 00:45:32,932 Okay, doctor but I saw the guy on TV and he had his in a toilet. 707 00:45:32,956 --> 00:45:35,756 Why do you have to cut me open? - Greg, this is so new. 708 00:45:35,780 --> 00:45:38,680 To everyone, to medical professionals everywhere. 709 00:45:38,704 --> 00:45:41,404 And frankly I'd like to play this safe. 710 00:45:43,338 --> 00:45:47,038 I'm sorry I can't help it notice the hair on your hoodie... 711 00:45:47,062 --> 00:45:50,062 - Do you have an animal? - Yeah, I got a cat. 712 00:45:50,086 --> 00:45:53,986 No, no cats have worms and it could get the baby toxoplasmosis. 713 00:45:56,715 --> 00:45:58,615 Linda doesn't have worms. 714 00:45:58,839 --> 00:46:03,239 Well, a cat could suffocate the baby or claw the baby. 715 00:46:03,965 --> 00:46:07,565 Fuck him! Don't let him make you think for one second that you need to get rid of that cat. 716 00:46:07,589 --> 00:46:09,889 I'm not. I will not. But... 717 00:46:09,913 --> 00:46:13,213 All that talk of let's cut the baby out... 718 00:46:14,482 --> 00:46:17,482 - I don't know, it's a downer. - Don't listen him Greg... 719 00:46:17,506 --> 00:46:19,206 Do what you want. 720 00:46:19,230 --> 00:46:21,230 You saw that guy who gave birth in the toilet? 721 00:46:21,254 --> 00:46:23,754 You think he exactly marked this way over there? 722 00:46:24,334 --> 00:46:25,734 Doubtful. 723 00:46:25,758 --> 00:46:29,158 Have the baby however you want, this is YOUR child! 724 00:46:29,953 --> 00:46:31,953 Thank you. 725 00:46:31,977 --> 00:46:33,277 Listen, I... 726 00:46:33,301 --> 00:46:37,701 I'm sorry that I've been such an asshole since this pregnancy. 727 00:46:37,725 --> 00:46:39,625 How's Ernie? How is he doing? 728 00:46:39,649 --> 00:46:40,849 Hot mess. 729 00:46:40,873 --> 00:46:44,473 He texted me last week and asked if I thought Oscar the Grouch writers... 730 00:46:44,497 --> 00:46:47,597 For living in such a tight conditions. - Really? 731 00:46:48,121 --> 00:46:53,721 His hall of questions had something to do with the Kate Blanchet being a half breed... 732 00:46:54,245 --> 00:46:58,945 Well, I'm glad that this stroke has opened up Ernie's mind for the bigger picture. 733 00:47:07,541 --> 00:47:10,941 Wow! It's quite the breakfast you got going here baby. 734 00:47:11,765 --> 00:47:13,965 So you have your appetite back. 735 00:47:14,189 --> 00:47:17,189 Yep. No more nausea. 736 00:47:17,813 --> 00:47:20,313 No more insomnia. 737 00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:22,212 I feel great. 738 00:47:22,213 --> 00:47:24,213 - That's great. - Yeah. 739 00:47:24,237 --> 00:47:28,037 Actually... I was thinking ... 740 00:47:28,061 --> 00:47:32,061 That we might be able to fool around a little bit... 741 00:47:32,161 --> 00:47:34,161 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 742 00:47:35,577 --> 00:47:39,377 I bumped out against the oven handle earlier ... 743 00:47:39,909 --> 00:47:41,909 And I think I got wood. 744 00:47:50,417 --> 00:47:55,517 It's been too long, hasn't been? - Far too long. 745 00:47:56,741 --> 00:48:00,141 I'm gonna find that spot that makes you growl... 746 00:48:01,665 --> 00:48:03,665 You're not on top now. 747 00:48:13,324 --> 00:48:14,724 Wait, wait, wait 748 00:48:14,848 --> 00:48:17,548 - What? you're not ready? - No, no, no, 749 00:48:17,772 --> 00:48:19,772 He moved. 750 00:48:19,996 --> 00:48:25,796 Yeah it's generally what penises do when excited. - No, no the baby. 751 00:48:36,020 --> 00:48:41,120 - Where are you going? - I should clean up the kitchen. 752 00:48:48,166 --> 00:48:51,766 He's scared of this baby I can tell you, you can see when you look in his eyes. 753 00:48:51,990 --> 00:48:53,990 He's afraid to grow up. 754 00:48:54,414 --> 00:48:56,414 Connie 755 00:48:57,238 --> 00:48:59,038 I don't know if I wanna have this baby. 756 00:48:59,062 --> 00:49:02,262 Of course you do! This is a blessing. 757 00:49:02,286 --> 00:49:05,186 People spend thousands of dollars trying to get pregnant. 758 00:49:05,210 --> 00:49:09,810 Or paying for a surrogate or paying to buy a baby from China. 759 00:49:09,834 --> 00:49:12,834 Look, I get it. I know that's hard. 760 00:49:14,235 --> 00:49:18,135 - Have you heard of the Doulas? - No. Who is she? 761 00:49:18,159 --> 00:49:20,859 Not a she. A Doula. 762 00:49:20,883 --> 00:49:23,683 It's like a stress therapist. 763 00:49:23,707 --> 00:49:28,507 They're there for the expecting mother during the pregnancy and then at birth. 764 00:49:28,531 --> 00:49:31,031 - It may be worth looking into. - Yeah, that's fine. 765 00:49:31,041 --> 00:49:33,141 But what about after the birth? 766 00:49:33,565 --> 00:49:36,765 I just wanna make sure that this baby has a family. 767 00:49:37,489 --> 00:49:39,489 Right. 768 00:49:44,266 --> 00:49:47,966 We are going to need to get a new car. - What? 769 00:49:48,190 --> 00:49:51,790 A new car, we gonna need one. - Why? 770 00:49:51,814 --> 00:49:56,414 Because we have to fit a car sit into it and we need four seats. 771 00:49:56,438 --> 00:49:59,438 - Yours has four seats. - And mine is also a piece of shit. 772 00:49:59,462 --> 00:50:01,462 Greg, come on, you know I bought 773 00:50:01,486 --> 00:50:04,386 That car for myself as a present when I graduated at law school . 774 00:50:04,410 --> 00:50:06,910 I know you bought that car for yourself because you liked 775 00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:08,820 Looking in the park lot as the hot lawyer. 776 00:50:08,844 --> 00:50:10,844 Excuse me? 777 00:50:11,368 --> 00:50:17,168 Listen, I know that this baby was unexpected and I know that ... 778 00:50:17,892 --> 00:50:19,892 For the last if you even enjoyed the ride, 779 00:50:19,916 --> 00:50:22,416 But I just think that- - Enjoy the ride? 780 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,440 That's what you think of me? 781 00:50:24,464 --> 00:50:26,764 You know how hard I work. That's what you think? 782 00:50:26,788 --> 00:50:31,088 I think that you don't look like someone who wants to become a father. 783 00:50:31,712 --> 00:50:35,912 Okay, maybe I don't know how to be a dad, maybe I, maybe I... 784 00:50:36,136 --> 00:50:39,936 Maybe I can't be a dad. Maybe I just don't wanna be a dad. 785 00:50:43,436 --> 00:50:47,436 - There it is. - There what is? 786 00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:52,560 The truth that we've been waiting for, you don't want this baby. 787 00:50:52,984 --> 00:50:56,084 Maybe I don't Greg. 788 00:50:57,408 --> 00:50:59,408 Maybe I'm scared. 789 00:51:00,432 --> 00:51:05,032 Scared? Maybe I'm scared too. I'm scared too and... 790 00:51:05,156 --> 00:51:07,956 And who was the one to talk me out of that? It was you. 791 00:51:07,980 --> 00:51:12,580 You were the one. Because you said that it was gonna be a blessing, a new direction. 792 00:51:12,604 --> 00:51:15,604 And that's so easy for you to say, that is so easy for you to say. 793 00:51:15,628 --> 00:51:19,128 When you are not you the person who has to carry it around, okay? 794 00:51:19,152 --> 00:51:24,052 You're not the person who's gotten fat and is getting fatter every single second. 795 00:51:24,076 --> 00:51:28,176 You're not the person who's gonna up shoes size and half 796 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,100 You're not the person who bumps up against kitchen appliances and gets horny. 797 00:51:32,124 --> 00:51:36,624 And you're not the person whose hormones had turned the man into a 15 years old girl. 798 00:51:36,648 --> 00:51:41,148 Yes nod your head, go ahead, nod your head. 799 00:51:41,172 --> 00:51:43,172 But you... 800 00:51:45,989 --> 00:51:49,989 I don't have the energy to hold you up okay? 801 00:51:51,413 --> 00:51:55,913 I don't have the energy to be your rock when you didn't... 802 00:51:56,237 --> 00:51:58,237 You just go. 803 00:51:58,861 --> 00:52:01,161 - Go where? - Just go. 804 00:52:04,654 --> 00:52:07,454 Okay. Really? 805 00:52:08,081 --> 00:52:09,381 Fine. 806 00:52:42,311 --> 00:52:44,411 That's what you want, Greg? 807 00:52:47,542 --> 00:52:48,842 Is it? 808 00:52:51,092 --> 00:52:53,292 Is this what you want? 809 00:52:58,025 --> 00:53:00,025 I'll be sleeping at the office. 810 00:53:36,869 --> 00:53:41,069 So, what I have here is my Doula bag. That I have for many years. 811 00:53:41,093 --> 00:53:44,393 So if is okay with you I'lI show you the kind of things I carry in it. 812 00:53:44,417 --> 00:53:45,817 That'd be great. 813 00:53:47,068 --> 00:53:49,568 So this right here are hard candies. 814 00:53:49,592 --> 00:53:51,292 And I really just carry this in case you 815 00:53:51,316 --> 00:53:54,216 Wanna get a little sugar buzz during labor. 816 00:53:54,240 --> 00:53:56,540 I don't know, just something to comfort you. 817 00:53:57,223 --> 00:53:58,323 Let's see... 818 00:54:00,657 --> 00:54:01,657 Well my swimming suit. 819 00:54:01,681 --> 00:54:04,781 This is a water birth and I can get in it with you. 820 00:54:05,458 --> 00:54:08,458 Plastic bag for my wet swimming suit. 821 00:54:08,750 --> 00:54:11,550 - Nice to meet you! - It's nice to meet you. 822 00:54:11,686 --> 00:54:14,586 Okay, so.... let's see here... 823 00:54:16,193 --> 00:54:18,193 I have... 824 00:54:19,654 --> 00:54:22,354 A pad. If it's those days of the month. 825 00:54:22,855 --> 00:54:25,755 These right here, these are essential oils. 826 00:54:25,779 --> 00:54:28,079 What are those for exactly? 827 00:54:28,103 --> 00:54:31,003 You'll find out which aroma resonates with you. 828 00:54:31,525 --> 00:54:32,825 A mirror. 829 00:54:33,176 --> 00:54:36,076 If you want to see what's going on down there. 830 00:54:36,100 --> 00:54:37,400 That sounds awful. 831 00:54:40,301 --> 00:54:42,701 I have some... gum. 832 00:54:43,201 --> 00:54:46,401 What... what is... that? 833 00:54:48,571 --> 00:54:52,571 That's marijuana. Afterwards you are welcome to use some. 834 00:54:52,695 --> 00:54:55,195 That is very kind of you. - Nice. 835 00:54:55,219 --> 00:54:59,619 So did you brought anything that would be like... Hey this is helpful! 836 00:54:59,643 --> 00:55:03,843 While you're pushing a human out of you? 837 00:55:03,967 --> 00:55:05,067 Yes. 838 00:55:05,091 --> 00:55:07,191 So, would you like one? 839 00:55:07,215 --> 00:55:08,915 They're so good. 840 00:55:08,939 --> 00:55:10,614 Good to see you. 841 00:55:10,615 --> 00:55:14,615 Well, we usually have just a few meetings before the birth. 842 00:55:14,639 --> 00:55:17,239 You know, to discuss things like your emotional needs, 843 00:55:17,263 --> 00:55:20,263 Your mental condition, birth plan. 844 00:55:20,287 --> 00:55:24,287 Just getting ready to push when it comes time to push. 845 00:55:25,211 --> 00:55:27,711 Thomas that's the best thing that I've heard all day. 846 00:55:27,735 --> 00:55:28,935 - Really? - Yeah. 847 00:55:29,059 --> 00:55:33,159 - So you're set for October? - For the moment yeah. 848 00:55:33,783 --> 00:55:36,283 Okay,then I guess that the only thing I will need to do is 849 00:55:36,307 --> 00:55:38,707 Come by and check out your place whenever you'd like. 850 00:55:38,731 --> 00:55:42,031 Just to access the conditions of your home. 851 00:55:42,055 --> 00:55:44,555 The conditions of my home... 852 00:55:44,979 --> 00:55:48,679 Mostly, it's an apartment but it's not sanctioned for anything. 853 00:55:48,703 --> 00:55:50,703 I have a nice scream maker so 854 00:55:51,127 --> 00:55:52,727 That's good, that's good. - Pretentious. 855 00:55:52,751 --> 00:55:54,251 No, probably it's fine. 856 00:55:54,275 --> 00:55:56,375 I would just need to make sure it's appropriate. 857 00:55:56,399 --> 00:55:59,899 You know, no mould, clean air filters, planty of space. 858 00:56:00,023 --> 00:56:02,023 - That sort of stuff. - Yeah. 859 00:56:02,047 --> 00:56:04,347 No stacks of dirty dishes, I got it. 860 00:56:06,856 --> 00:56:10,856 So? This is it. 861 00:56:11,180 --> 00:56:16,380 - Wow! This is great. - Yeah, thank you, thank you. 862 00:56:16,604 --> 00:56:18,804 I should probably check the boiler. 863 00:56:18,828 --> 00:56:21,428 - Oh! Yeah this... - Back here? 864 00:56:21,452 --> 00:56:23,452 Yeah, to the left. 865 00:56:26,923 --> 00:56:29,423 Hot water is important. 866 00:56:30,047 --> 00:56:32,247 We need a lot of hot water for the birth. 867 00:56:32,267 --> 00:56:33,867 That's what I would go. 868 00:56:33,891 --> 00:56:36,191 You'd neeed a lot space in your tub too. 869 00:56:36,215 --> 00:56:38,215 Oh! Yeah. 870 00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:41,539 I don't know about the tub I barely fit in it now. 871 00:56:42,163 --> 00:56:43,963 What about your bed? 872 00:56:44,087 --> 00:56:45,987 I still fit in it. 873 00:56:46,011 --> 00:56:48,411 I know I meant what size is your bed? 874 00:56:48,435 --> 00:56:50,135 Oh, it's a California King. 875 00:56:50,159 --> 00:56:51,459 - It's perfect. - Yes 876 00:56:51,483 --> 00:56:54,983 You can always purchase an inflatable portable pool. 877 00:56:59,536 --> 00:57:03,236 - This is Ken? - Yeah. 878 00:57:04,360 --> 00:57:07,860 - Handsome guy. - Yeah. 879 00:57:09,384 --> 00:57:11,784 Where are you guys here? 880 00:57:13,108 --> 00:57:15,208 Ken was deep sea fishing and 881 00:57:15,232 --> 00:57:18,332 He thrown his harpoon and it popped out of the water so... 882 00:57:28,029 --> 00:57:30,029 You're alright? 883 00:57:34,253 --> 00:57:37,953 No, no. 884 00:57:38,377 --> 00:57:40,877 Not alright. 885 00:57:41,401 --> 00:57:43,401 I'm huge. 886 00:57:43,825 --> 00:57:47,225 I'm like a brand new Greg and I... 887 00:57:47,849 --> 00:57:51,049 I got this thing growing inside of me... 888 00:57:51,059 --> 00:57:53,959 And my nipples are sore and my back hurts... 889 00:57:53,983 --> 00:57:57,483 And my feet are swollen and I am constipated and I... 890 00:57:59,107 --> 00:58:03,007 I haven't seen my dick... in weeks. 891 00:58:06,431 --> 00:58:09,531 And you know, Ken is basically moved out. 892 00:58:09,555 --> 00:58:13,655 Which I get, I don't blame him I don't blame him but... 893 00:58:14,779 --> 00:58:18,679 He's not ready for this and I'm not ready for it either you know... 894 00:58:18,703 --> 00:58:26,303 Sometimes I just can't help but thinking that I don't want this baby. 895 00:58:26,527 --> 00:58:28,127 I've been drinking tap water. 896 00:58:28,251 --> 00:58:35,051 Because I'd heard that it sometimes causes miscarriages in women what... 897 00:58:35,075 --> 00:58:38,575 Or maybe you know it's just the single isolated incident in West Virginia. 898 00:58:38,599 --> 00:58:41,499 I don't know, I followed so many news out some social medias. 899 00:58:41,523 --> 00:58:43,823 And I'd just been looking for someone. 900 00:58:43,947 --> 00:58:48,747 Anyone who is not a falling complete crazy that could... 901 00:58:48,771 --> 00:58:52,671 Help me through this, through the delivery at least. 902 00:58:52,695 --> 00:58:56,095 Because I'm 31 years old and I am a web designer who until very recently... 903 00:58:56,119 --> 00:59:00,719 Did not have any health care and I'm... 904 00:59:00,743 --> 00:59:04,843 I'm a top usually by the way and... 905 00:59:05,767 --> 00:59:10,067 I just don't know how I'm gonna be a parent, how I'm gonna have a family... 906 00:59:10,091 --> 00:59:14,691 My family is a complete train wreck, my mother is vain and self-absorbed. 907 00:59:14,715 --> 00:59:20,315 And my father has never been in the picture and my half sister, Connie, she's... 908 00:59:20,339 --> 00:59:24,139 She's wonderful actually, she's wonderful but has her own problems. 909 00:59:24,163 --> 00:59:26,663 My best friend, Ernie... 910 00:59:27,487 --> 00:59:30,587 He is basically in life long prison sentence for his... 911 00:59:30,611 --> 00:59:34,511 Fucking psychotic christian fundamentalist parents. 912 00:59:34,535 --> 00:59:37,535 And he is in a wheelchair right now by the way. 913 00:59:37,559 --> 00:59:40,359 He is confined to one 914 00:59:40,383 --> 00:59:42,783 And he has the mental capacity a preschool 915 00:59:42,807 --> 00:59:45,406 Constantly tweeting about like sharp wigs 916 00:59:45,407 --> 00:59:49,507 Or whether or not the Cookie Monster has an ants problem. 917 00:59:57,140 --> 01:00:00,640 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 918 01:00:04,364 --> 01:00:05,964 Look... 919 01:00:06,288 --> 01:00:10,388 I know that most of my responsibility happens at birth but... 920 01:00:10,812 --> 01:00:12,512 Greg, looks like you're under 921 01:00:12,536 --> 01:00:16,236 A considerable amount of stress and stress is not good for the baby. 922 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:21,260 And yes, in some areas either is tap water. 923 01:00:22,808 --> 01:00:26,008 ... But hey, why don't we do this... 924 01:00:26,032 --> 01:00:29,332 Why don't we schedule an appointment each week from here on now? 925 01:00:31,556 --> 01:00:34,156 That i's very nice of you, Thomas, but I can't afford that. 926 01:00:34,180 --> 01:00:37,680 I just can't. So thank you, thank you, though. 927 01:00:37,804 --> 01:00:40,704 It's what, it's what needs to be done. 928 01:00:40,728 --> 01:00:44,128 And if you still want me to be your Doula, what I hope you do, 929 01:00:44,152 --> 01:00:46,152 That's what we gonna do. 930 01:00:49,531 --> 01:00:51,331 Okay. 931 01:00:51,555 --> 01:00:53,555 Don't worry about the money. 932 01:00:53,779 --> 01:00:58,679 God, I'm happy to help. So happy to help. 933 01:01:03,842 --> 01:01:06,142 Hormones... 934 01:01:06,755 --> 01:01:09,755 Well, today I thought I'd start off simple. 935 01:01:09,779 --> 01:01:10,779 Okay. 936 01:01:10,803 --> 01:01:12,303 After your outburst the other day. 937 01:01:12,313 --> 01:01:15,013 I thought it would be a very good idea for you to get your feelings out. 938 01:01:15,051 --> 01:01:16,151 Awesome. 939 01:01:16,275 --> 01:01:18,775 - How do you feel? - Fat. 940 01:01:18,799 --> 01:01:23,199 I feel fat like Marlon Brandon in The Island of Dr Monroe. 941 01:01:24,123 --> 01:01:27,023 It's like I have a gravitational pull. 942 01:01:27,747 --> 01:01:30,047 I have a solution, I think. 943 01:01:30,071 --> 01:01:33,271 Have you ever seen that music video about Britney Spears Dear Diary? 944 01:01:33,295 --> 01:01:34,695 No, I haven't. 945 01:01:34,719 --> 01:01:38,219 Well, you gonna Dear Diary the shit out of this notebook. 946 01:01:38,243 --> 01:01:40,643 A Dear diary, I'm fat and disgusting, 947 01:01:40,667 --> 01:01:43,467 Dear diary, where my penis go? 948 01:01:43,491 --> 01:01:45,991 And so and so forth, okay? 949 01:01:46,815 --> 01:01:48,815 Okay. 950 01:01:51,267 --> 01:01:55,167 - Oh you hated it! - Kind of. 951 01:01:56,191 --> 01:01:59,591 It's merely a suggestion, this is all about you. 952 01:02:23,972 --> 01:02:24,972 Hello? 953 01:02:24,996 --> 01:02:27,996 Greg, hi. Brett Roberts from the Local News. 954 01:02:28,020 --> 01:02:31,820 I just wanted to get back with you about schedule your interview. 955 01:02:32,344 --> 01:02:35,244 Schedule? I didn't scheduled an interview. 956 01:02:35,268 --> 01:02:37,268 Well, it must have been your partner, Ken. 957 01:02:37,292 --> 01:02:39,392 Apparently Ken called a few weeks ago and, 958 01:02:39,416 --> 01:02:43,116 This is the first opportunity I have to get back with you, I'm so sorry. 959 01:02:43,140 --> 01:02:46,540 Is this... Is this about my pregnancy? 960 01:02:46,564 --> 01:02:49,664 Yes, it is! And congratulations by the way. 961 01:02:50,588 --> 01:02:55,188 You might have won me over by saying my condolences, the way that I'm feeling right now. 962 01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,000 Hello? 963 01:02:59,010 --> 01:03:03,210 So I brought you two things that gonna improve your mood. 964 01:03:03,234 --> 01:03:05,934 This is a test, a bag of essentials 965 01:03:05,958 --> 01:03:08,358 Oh shit! No... 966 01:03:08,548 --> 01:03:11,148 This is to watch Clueless. 967 01:03:11,172 --> 01:03:13,972 - Whatever the edition... - That's a better test. 968 01:03:13,996 --> 01:03:15,996 That's a test. - And... 969 01:03:16,020 --> 01:03:19,420 There's this. Which one do you want? 970 01:03:20,056 --> 01:03:23,556 - Dulce de Leche. - Nice. I'll have the strawberry. 971 01:03:24,733 --> 01:03:27,133 Listen, did you actually...? 972 01:03:27,157 --> 01:03:30,057 The essentials were just a joke, right? Like you didn't...? 973 01:03:30,081 --> 01:03:33,081 Or did you actually intended to bring some essentials? - I did. 974 01:03:33,105 --> 01:03:35,905 But I... I left it on my counter before I left. 975 01:03:35,929 --> 01:03:38,629 No, it's good to like soak in absence... 976 01:03:38,653 --> 01:03:40,053 - That's okay. - It's for... 977 01:03:40,077 --> 01:03:41,777 Like most relaxation and stuff like that. 978 01:03:41,777 --> 01:03:43,677 Yeah I have some. 979 01:03:43,701 --> 01:03:45,701 How many births did you assisted on? 980 01:03:45,725 --> 01:03:48,725 - Four. - So I'm your fifth. 981 01:03:49,974 --> 01:03:51,774 Yes, well... 982 01:03:52,205 --> 01:03:53,905 Technically... 983 01:03:53,929 --> 01:03:57,529 Or the forth I guess. Depending on how you look at it. 984 01:03:59,604 --> 01:04:03,304 One of my clients miscarried, so. 985 01:04:03,327 --> 01:04:04,927 That's terrible, I'm so orry. 986 01:04:04,951 --> 01:04:07,451 It's okay. She was... 987 01:04:07,475 --> 01:04:09,775 I mean, she was... 988 01:04:09,799 --> 01:04:12,299 It was not good but... 989 01:04:16,271 --> 01:04:18,371 So what is you... 990 01:04:18,907 --> 01:04:23,107 What is you do regularly, or what you wanna do regularly? 991 01:04:23,936 --> 01:04:26,136 I like to be making music actually. - Yeah? 992 01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,760 Yeah, I mean, that's what led me to Nashville, so... 993 01:04:28,784 --> 01:04:31,784 Alright. - But since I don't have... 994 01:04:32,153 --> 01:04:36,453 Anything too cling to just yet. Like your fortunate sister does. 995 01:04:37,261 --> 01:04:41,961 I mostly do ... figure modeling 996 01:04:41,979 --> 01:04:44,079 For Art classes. 997 01:04:44,103 --> 01:04:46,803 Some of the colleges around town..? 998 01:04:46,852 --> 01:04:48,652 Really? 999 01:04:49,716 --> 01:04:52,016 Like... Like figure...? 1000 01:04:52,040 --> 01:04:54,840 Like... figure... like naked...? 1001 01:04:54,864 --> 01:04:57,363 - Naked? - Nude. They call it nude. 1002 01:04:58,556 --> 01:05:01,156 - I did not take you for an exhibitionist. - I'm not! 1003 01:05:01,180 --> 01:05:04,080 - It seems like you might be an exhibitionist. - I'm definitely not. 1004 01:05:04,104 --> 01:05:07,604 Really? Is it not uncomfortable? 1005 01:05:10,121 --> 01:05:12,321 The first or second time... 1006 01:05:12,345 --> 01:05:15,745 Yeah, yes, but I... 1007 01:05:15,957 --> 01:05:18,757 I don't know. I guess it grown on me. Like most things do. 1008 01:05:18,781 --> 01:05:19,881 Ew. 1009 01:05:21,423 --> 01:05:24,923 You know, just kept stick with it long enough. 1010 01:05:27,021 --> 01:05:28,821 But... 1011 01:05:29,185 --> 01:05:32,785 Some of the fucking poses they make me do? Suck! 1012 01:05:32,809 --> 01:05:35,709 Suck so bad! It's so uncomfortable! 1013 01:05:35,733 --> 01:05:37,733 And I start like... 1014 01:05:37,757 --> 01:05:41,657 Individually resenting each and every student in the class. 1015 01:05:41,681 --> 01:05:43,681 Because you know they're comfortable. 1016 01:05:43,705 --> 01:05:46,705 But I don't know after it passes, 1017 01:05:46,729 --> 01:05:49,829 It's pretty freeing. You should try it. 1018 01:05:51,449 --> 01:05:54,149 Belly and all. - That would be beautiful. 1019 01:05:54,432 --> 01:05:56,932 I just kinda zone out and... 1020 01:05:58,078 --> 01:06:01,078 I write songs in my head. And they can't really do that. 1021 01:06:01,102 --> 01:06:03,902 An attempt job or sling drinks. 1022 01:06:03,926 --> 01:06:06,426 Which I've tried before. 1023 01:06:06,450 --> 01:06:10,249 I can definitely see you raking the booze, 1024 01:06:10,273 --> 01:06:11,873 Behing a bar. 1025 01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,680 Yeah, I did it for a while. 1026 01:06:15,387 --> 01:06:18,287 But that is definitely something that did not grown on me. 1027 01:06:19,173 --> 01:06:22,373 I'm just really not that social actually. 1028 01:06:22,897 --> 01:06:24,497 Really? - Yeah. 1029 01:06:24,521 --> 01:06:26,921 And that's kind of what I like about the art classes. 1030 01:06:26,945 --> 01:06:28,044 Yes? 1031 01:06:28,045 --> 01:06:30,545 You don't have to talk to anybody, you know? 1032 01:06:30,569 --> 01:06:35,569 Just sort of... judge them on silently. 1033 01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:39,693 But you know, sometimes after classe I'll get up and walk around, 1034 01:06:39,717 --> 01:06:43,317 And look at people's sculptures and the drawings. 1035 01:06:43,341 --> 01:06:47,741 And chat a little bit, but inevitably I just kind of zone out and... 1036 01:06:47,965 --> 01:06:52,265 And I play music in my head, you know? 1037 01:06:52,289 --> 01:06:57,089 Unless I have a big ass cramp in my toe. 1038 01:06:58,113 --> 01:07:01,313 So what's your agenda? 1039 01:07:03,737 --> 01:07:05,737 In Pop music? - Yeah. 1040 01:07:05,761 --> 01:07:08,061 Sing a song that stuck. 1041 01:07:08,085 --> 01:07:15,185 So what kind of are you trying like... Are you trying about Britney or Adele? 1042 01:07:26,829 --> 01:07:33,529 You gave me pretty little kisses on my face 1043 01:07:33,553 --> 01:07:40,253 Your arms enlace me, we cuddle in the right place 1044 01:07:40,277 --> 01:07:47,977 In every time I look at you, you smile on like 1045 01:07:48,701 --> 01:07:52,401 You know what it do to me 1046 01:07:53,025 --> 01:07:59,125 It doen't hurt that you have the most perfect teeth 1047 01:07:59,149 --> 01:08:05,249 And when you hold my hand you sweep me off my feet 1048 01:08:05,273 --> 01:08:12,573 Because every time I'm around you, I can barely breathe 1049 01:08:12,597 --> 01:08:17,297 You see what you do to me 1050 01:08:17,321 --> 01:08:22,621 I won't forget you when you leave me 1051 01:08:22,645 --> 01:08:27,045 I know it's coming shortly 1052 01:08:27,069 --> 01:08:33,769 That I just have to let you know 1053 01:08:34,593 --> 01:08:38,793 It's what you do to me 1054 01:08:38,817 --> 01:08:42,617 It's what you do to me 1055 01:08:42,765 --> 01:08:46,765 I can barely breathe 1056 01:08:46,789 --> 01:08:50,789 It's what you do to me 1057 01:08:50,813 --> 01:08:54,613 It's what you do to me 1058 01:08:55,337 --> 01:08:59,437 It's what you do to me 1059 01:08:59,861 --> 01:09:04,261 I can barely breathe 1060 01:09:04,985 --> 01:09:09,485 It's what you do to me 1061 01:09:09,509 --> 01:09:16,009 It's what you do to me 1062 01:09:22,408 --> 01:09:23,908 Hello. 1063 01:09:23,932 --> 01:09:27,632 Hi Greg, Brett Roberts from the Local News please don't hang up. 1064 01:09:33,655 --> 01:09:36,755 I'll get it. - Thank you. 1065 01:09:52,761 --> 01:09:53,761 - Hi. - Hi. 1066 01:09:53,771 --> 01:09:56,371 Brett Roberts good to see you. - Nice to meet you. 1067 01:09:56,795 --> 01:10:00,595 I wanna go over a few bullet points first before we get started if that's okay. 1068 01:10:00,619 --> 01:10:01,719 Sure. 1069 01:10:01,743 --> 01:10:04,543 Is paternity leave, it's that an option for you? 1070 01:10:04,567 --> 01:10:07,267 No, no I'm self-employed. 1071 01:10:08,091 --> 01:10:11,691 Alright. Well, we'll just inscribe as unknow. 1072 01:10:13,815 --> 01:10:16,415 What are your plans for delivery? 1073 01:10:18,339 --> 01:10:20,839 Greg has decided to do a home birth. 1074 01:10:20,863 --> 01:10:25,763 And we gonna get an inflatable pool and do a water birth right here in the livingroom. 1075 01:10:25,787 --> 01:10:27,587 Okay. 1076 01:10:28,053 --> 01:10:31,053 Oh, my god Brett hit me up on Grindr! 1077 01:10:31,777 --> 01:10:35,577 When? When he was here or was after he left? 1078 01:10:35,601 --> 01:10:37,601 No! No, yuck! Not gonna happen. 1079 01:10:37,625 --> 01:10:40,725 Ages ago. Like before he was on TV. 1080 01:10:40,725 --> 01:10:44,025 Yes, but I doubt he remembers. 1081 01:10:44,149 --> 01:10:47,849 Although he did give me this weird look when he walked in did you see it? 1082 01:10:47,873 --> 01:10:50,773 He did, he did give you a low weird look. But did you two ever...? 1083 01:10:50,797 --> 01:10:53,397 Did you meet him after...? - No, no. 1084 01:10:53,621 --> 01:10:56,221 If memory serves he was apprehensive. 1085 01:10:56,245 --> 01:11:00,445 Oh, like he was cautious about meeting because he's still... 1086 01:11:00,469 --> 01:11:02,469 - Yes. -Yes. 1087 01:11:02,793 --> 01:11:06,193 His profile was Brett spelled backwards and... 1088 01:11:06,217 --> 01:11:10,417 And his profile pic was on that area between the neck and the nipples? 1089 01:11:10,441 --> 01:11:13,441 The memory does serves I guess... 1090 01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:25,080 Maybe he was new in town and went hunting, you know? 1091 01:11:25,104 --> 01:11:27,704 It was what you were doing? - No, no. 1092 01:11:27,828 --> 01:11:31,228 I feel like I only ever checked that stuff when I'm feeling lonely. 1093 01:11:31,252 --> 01:11:32,552 I get. 1094 01:11:32,576 --> 01:11:34,076 Hi. 1095 01:11:34,745 --> 01:11:36,245 Hi. 1096 01:11:37,478 --> 01:11:39,478 Ken this is Thomas he's my Doula. 1097 01:11:39,502 --> 01:11:40,633 Hi. 1098 01:11:40,634 --> 01:11:43,334 Yes, I just came by to drop stuff. 1099 01:11:43,358 --> 01:11:47,758 You can stay if you want... - No, no I can't. I have a meeting. 1100 01:11:48,011 --> 01:11:50,011 Nice to meet you. 1101 01:11:58,946 --> 01:12:02,846 Okay, Greg, today I want you to pick a room 1102 01:12:02,970 --> 01:12:04,270 Any room in the apartment. 1103 01:12:04,294 --> 01:12:09,294 Walk into it and find five things that you could live without. 1104 01:12:09,318 --> 01:12:10,518 Okay. 1105 01:12:10,542 --> 01:12:13,042 And then throw them away. 1106 01:12:13,804 --> 01:12:16,404 And what purpose does this serve? 1107 01:12:17,562 --> 01:12:20,262 Maybe it's just to feel a little less overwhelmed? 1108 01:12:20,286 --> 01:12:22,986 And I mean not in the I feel soft and life is too hard, 1109 01:12:23,010 --> 01:12:27,510 There's so much to it, kind of way I mean why do we have three lemon shakers by the way? 1110 01:12:28,341 --> 01:12:30,441 How did you know about the lemon shakers? 1111 01:12:30,756 --> 01:12:32,256 - A bunch. - Yeah. 1112 01:12:32,615 --> 01:12:35,638 - So you do know what I mean. - No I know, I know exactly what you mean. 1113 01:12:35,704 --> 01:12:37,403 My grandparents are... 1114 01:12:37,727 --> 01:12:40,427 They are... They were... 1115 01:12:40,428 --> 01:12:43,928 Richer than Ben Folds. Not as rich as the Kardashians. 1116 01:12:43,952 --> 01:12:47,252 They had an Antiques obsession anyway. 1117 01:12:47,276 --> 01:12:48,476 When they passed on... 1118 01:12:48,500 --> 01:12:51,700 I was left in their will so I know exactly what you're talking about. 1119 01:12:51,724 --> 01:12:52,824 - Nice. - Yuck. 1120 01:12:52,848 --> 01:12:55,548 -Who got the loop? - My sister, thank goodness. 1121 01:12:55,572 --> 01:12:57,772 She got the house and most of the stuff so. 1122 01:12:58,194 --> 01:13:00,894 Alright, I will purge. 1123 01:13:37,217 --> 01:13:41,217 I'm sorry you may not remember me completely but we've seen each other. 1124 01:13:41,241 --> 01:13:43,541 - Greg! Oh my God! - Hi Alex! 1125 01:13:43,565 --> 01:13:46,865 - Hi! How are you? - I'm well, I'm well, how are you? 1126 01:13:46,889 --> 01:13:47,989 I'm ... 1127 01:13:48,008 --> 01:13:49,908 - I'm good... - Good. 1128 01:13:49,932 --> 01:13:52,732 - Are you ... Are you pregnant? - Yes, I'm pregnant. 1129 01:13:52,756 --> 01:13:55,856 Oh! my God! Who is the father? 1130 01:13:55,880 --> 01:13:57,280 Ken, Ken is. 1131 01:13:57,904 --> 01:13:59,904 - Wow! - Yeah. 1132 01:14:00,133 --> 01:14:02,433 That... You... 1133 01:14:02,641 --> 01:14:05,141 That... that lasted a long time. 1134 01:14:05,165 --> 01:14:07,165 - Yeah. - Good for you... 1135 01:14:07,189 --> 01:14:11,189 - Well, not that good for me now... - Oh, I'm sorry... 1136 01:14:11,213 --> 01:14:14,013 - That's okay. That's okay. What are you up to? 1137 01:14:14,611 --> 01:14:18,411 I... I don't know I'm ... A little of this, a little... 1138 01:14:18,455 --> 01:14:20,355 I'm sorry, is that a weird question to ask? I'm sorry. 1139 01:14:20,379 --> 01:14:23,479 - I didn't mean to pry. - No, I... I'm in school. 1140 01:14:23,527 --> 01:14:26,927 I'm taking night classes at the Art college Downtown. 1141 01:14:26,951 --> 01:14:31,551 - That's great! Congratulations! - Yeah I... 1142 01:14:32,475 --> 01:14:33,475 I mean... 1143 01:14:33,499 --> 01:14:36,599 I still don't know what I'll be when I grow up but it's a start I guess... 1144 01:14:36,599 --> 01:14:37,399 Sure. 1145 01:14:37,423 --> 01:14:39,723 And I never really had the drive you did. 1146 01:14:40,047 --> 01:14:41,747 Yes, my drive... 1147 01:14:41,771 --> 01:14:44,771 By the way, I dropped out of med school. 1148 01:14:44,795 --> 01:14:48,895 - So... why? You didn't...? - Yeah. 1149 01:14:50,052 --> 01:14:53,252 - Because of the baby? - Oh, no, no, no this happened way before the baby. 1150 01:14:53,276 --> 01:14:54,576 Way long. 1151 01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:56,300 What made you decide to quit? 1152 01:14:56,324 --> 01:14:57,924 You don't care about this. It's okay. 1153 01:14:57,948 --> 01:14:59,748 Yes I do. Of course I do! 1154 01:14:59,772 --> 01:15:01,772 Your future was always so important to you! 1155 01:15:01,973 --> 01:15:04,473 Well, things change. 1156 01:15:05,974 --> 01:15:08,274 You look great. 1157 01:15:09,738 --> 01:15:11,938 - You, you look great. - No I don't. 1158 01:15:11,962 --> 01:15:14,562 - Yes, you do. - No, I am fat. 1159 01:15:16,551 --> 01:15:18,351 You are pregnant. 1160 01:15:18,375 --> 01:15:21,475 That's true, Yes. Well, I'm pregnant. 1161 01:15:21,799 --> 01:15:23,999 Well... 1162 01:15:24,023 --> 01:15:28,023 Hey, do you... what are you doing right now? Do you wanna grab some coffee? 1163 01:15:28,711 --> 01:15:32,911 - Can you even drink coffee? - Oh no. Yeah. No. I can't. 1164 01:15:32,935 --> 01:15:35,935 But I can drink tea, I can have a tea. 1165 01:15:35,959 --> 01:15:37,052 Okay. 1166 01:15:37,053 --> 01:15:40,953 Great. Well, good, good. I'll tell you, it's so great to see you. 1167 01:15:40,977 --> 01:15:42,377 It was great seeing you too. 1168 01:15:42,401 --> 01:15:45,801 Alright I'll gonna check out my albums and then we head out, sounds good? 1169 01:15:45,825 --> 01:15:49,325 Yeah. Alright. I am so glad I run into you. 1170 01:15:49,349 --> 01:15:53,449 Yeah. It's so sweet, yeah, wow! Good. 1171 01:16:18,109 --> 01:16:20,509 BUY 3 USED ITEMS GET THE 4TH ONE FREE. 1172 01:17:13,801 --> 01:17:15,801 Hi. 1173 01:17:16,248 --> 01:17:18,248 I... 1174 01:17:20,647 --> 01:17:24,347 - Why are you here? - I just came by to say hi. 1175 01:17:24,371 --> 01:17:26,671 See how you were. 1176 01:17:26,695 --> 01:17:30,295 Impressing you . 1177 01:17:35,057 --> 01:17:37,457 I really missed you. 1178 01:17:39,239 --> 01:17:41,839 I really missed you too. 1179 01:17:42,751 --> 01:17:44,951 Hey, did you see the new car? 1180 01:17:45,449 --> 01:17:49,049 - It's yours? - Ours. 1181 01:17:51,410 --> 01:17:55,310 When I pulled in the front I saw a Volvo, 1182 01:17:55,334 --> 01:17:58,234 And that the lights were on inside I thought I was about to be a victim 1183 01:17:58,258 --> 01:18:00,758 Of middle-class, some middle-class crime. 1184 01:18:07,281 --> 01:18:08,681 You were right. 1185 01:18:08,705 --> 01:18:12,305 I'm sad to say you were right about everything. 1186 01:18:12,529 --> 01:18:15,929 I was... scared. 1187 01:18:16,848 --> 01:18:19,448 Scared and I... 1188 01:18:19,472 --> 01:18:22,972 I was so wrapped up in how it was gonna affect me that... 1189 01:18:22,996 --> 01:18:25,696 I acted like the big prick we both know I can be. 1190 01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:30,320 I wasn't even thinking about how you should be feeling. 1191 01:18:31,785 --> 01:18:34,985 And you deserve a lot better than that, Greg. 1192 01:18:35,828 --> 01:18:39,928 So I'm here to be better. 1193 01:18:40,501 --> 01:18:44,501 If you let me. I really wanna be better and... 1194 01:18:44,525 --> 01:18:47,025 I'm gonna be better. 1195 01:18:47,596 --> 01:18:49,996 You know the best news? 1196 01:18:50,020 --> 01:18:53,920 - What? - I'm really a father. 1197 01:19:02,796 --> 01:19:04,996 I'm so glad you're here! 1198 01:19:05,020 --> 01:19:08,520 Me too. I missed you. I missed you so much! 1199 01:19:10,131 --> 01:19:13,731 You know I've been eating like from snacks machine at work? 1200 01:19:13,755 --> 01:19:15,854 - Yeah? - So like two weeks that count. 1201 01:19:16,055 --> 01:19:17,855 That's number one, it's expensive. 1202 01:19:17,879 --> 01:19:21,479 Yeah, and they are loaded with salted peanuts, it's horrible! 1203 01:19:32,891 --> 01:19:34,991 - What? - I'm just... 1204 01:19:35,015 --> 01:19:37,015 I'm afraid I'm gonna crush the baby. 1205 01:19:37,039 --> 01:19:39,739 People have sex when they're pregnant all the time. 1206 01:19:39,807 --> 01:19:42,407 What if...if I just milked you? 1207 01:19:42,920 --> 01:19:46,020 I know that I look like a cow but that is another. 1208 01:19:46,044 --> 01:19:47,944 I want you to fuck me. 1209 01:19:48,735 --> 01:19:51,635 Listen to you born again bottom. 1210 01:19:52,736 --> 01:19:54,536 Alright. 1211 01:20:07,235 --> 01:20:08,435 Ken? 1212 01:20:10,032 --> 01:20:11,932 Ken? It's time. 1213 01:20:12,199 --> 01:20:14,899 -Time for what? - Time to get chicken out of the oven. 1214 01:20:14,923 --> 01:20:16,923 - Ken, it's time to have the baby! - What?! 1215 01:20:17,047 --> 01:20:20,447 Time to have the baby, Ken! - Okay, okay, okay. 1216 01:20:20,718 --> 01:20:22,418 Here we go. Alright. 1217 01:20:22,495 --> 01:20:25,295 I don't... I can walk. I can walk, I'm okay. 1218 01:20:29,096 --> 01:20:31,396 I can't believe this is happening. 1219 01:20:32,006 --> 01:20:33,306 Yeah... 1220 01:20:34,109 --> 01:20:37,909 I had a long time to get used to the idea. 1221 01:20:38,829 --> 01:20:40,529 Hello! 1222 01:20:41,265 --> 01:20:43,865 I've heard a baby is on the way! 1223 01:20:55,581 --> 01:20:57,581 PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB 1224 01:21:03,728 --> 01:21:06,928 Are you ready to come out? Are you ready to come out? 1225 01:21:07,339 --> 01:21:08,839 Today is the day. 1226 01:21:23,066 --> 01:21:26,566 Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. 1227 01:21:32,088 --> 01:21:35,688 Okay, yeah, easy, easy 1228 01:21:53,570 --> 01:21:56,070 Yeah, I'm okay. 1229 01:22:06,720 --> 01:22:09,920 - Am I pretty? - You are beautiful. 1230 01:22:20,213 --> 01:22:22,613 Come over here. Over here, Greg. 1231 01:22:26,824 --> 01:22:29,424 Okay, Greg. You're doing well. 1232 01:22:32,230 --> 01:22:34,830 God! Shit! 1233 01:22:59,046 --> 01:23:01,146 Motherfucker! 1234 01:23:04,532 --> 01:23:06,832 Greg, I can see the head. 1235 01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:10,041 - What? What? - Is he coming? 1236 01:23:22,371 --> 01:23:24,971 You're almost there, sweetie. You're nearly there, okay? 1237 01:23:24,995 --> 01:23:27,195 - Okay, okay. - Now, you can push. 1238 01:23:27,219 --> 01:23:28,419 Come on. 1239 01:24:27,282 --> 01:24:28,782 According to medical experts, 1240 01:24:28,806 --> 01:24:30,806 Since the first man became pregnant, 1241 01:24:30,830 --> 01:24:34,530 An estimated fifty thousand babies worlwide have been born to men 1242 01:24:34,554 --> 01:24:36,854 Miraculously the number of C-sections 1243 01:24:36,878 --> 01:24:39,278 Have been unparalled with the number of natural births. 1244 01:24:39,302 --> 01:24:41,402 Suggesting that men's bodies have adapted, 1245 01:24:41,426 --> 01:24:44,126 Some point in the last twenty five thousand years. 1246 01:24:44,150 --> 01:24:47,050 And that men giving birth is just another bullet point 1247 01:24:47,074 --> 01:24:50,474 On the impressive timeline of homo sapiens evolution. 1248 01:24:50,498 --> 01:24:52,398 Today, the Republican Congress 1249 01:24:52,422 --> 01:24:55,022 Which includes six nearly pregnant legislators 1250 01:24:55,046 --> 01:24:57,346 Has rushed through a bill proposing that pregnant men 1251 01:24:57,370 --> 01:24:59,070 Been paid paternity leave 1252 01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:01,494 Which is expected to easily pass the house 1253 01:25:01,518 --> 01:25:04,218 Should be on the president's desk early next week. 1254 01:25:04,242 --> 01:25:06,242 Awaiting his signature. 1255 01:25:07,862 --> 01:25:10,162 English Subtitles: Pinky and the Brain 1256 01:25:10,186 --> 01:25:13,586 More after the credits 1257 01:26:16,075 --> 01:26:18,475 Today we are here with the new Nashville transplant, 1258 01:26:18,499 --> 01:26:20,899 All the way from sunny west Hollywood California. 1259 01:26:20,923 --> 01:26:24,423 Mr. Gino Ollie. He's recently had his third baby. 1260 01:26:24,447 --> 01:26:27,447 The first which was born in a toilet. 1261 01:26:28,269 --> 01:26:31,969 He just came out so unexpectedly. I was at the club T and I thought, 1262 01:26:31,993 --> 01:26:34,293 I had got some food poisoning from the crab leg, 1263 01:26:34,317 --> 01:26:36,417 I've had on a Chinese buffet earlier. 1264 01:26:36,441 --> 01:26:39,641 You had no idea at all you were pregnant. No signs, nothing. 1265 01:26:39,665 --> 01:26:42,165 No, no I mean, I'm a large girl, so... 1266 01:26:42,381 --> 01:26:45,981 And everything went smoothly after that, the baby was good and healthy? 1267 01:26:46,005 --> 01:26:50,505 What I mean, you know, he has some issues 1268 01:26:50,529 --> 01:26:52,529 But you know he alright, he run around, 1269 01:26:52,553 --> 01:26:54,853 He kinda talk sometimes. 1270 01:26:54,877 --> 01:26:57,377 And your second and third children they...? 1271 01:26:57,401 --> 01:27:00,201 Oh they're fine. Trey, Trey Trey, and Japanda. 1272 01:27:00,225 --> 01:27:02,625 - Lord, days are long. - Japanda? 1273 01:27:02,649 --> 01:27:04,949 - Beautiful, beautiful name. - Her daddy pick it. 1274 01:27:04,973 --> 01:27:06,073 Her daddy pick it. 1275 01:27:06,097 --> 01:27:08,397 We were at that japanese restaurant, 1276 01:27:08,926 --> 01:27:11,426 You know what I'm saying? He picked it right out Japanda. 1277 01:27:11,450 --> 01:27:13,450 - I loved it. - You sound very proud. 1278 01:27:13,474 --> 01:27:17,074 What about the father or fathers of these... babies? 1279 01:27:17,098 --> 01:27:19,098 Well, you know, they're fathers, 1280 01:27:19,122 --> 01:27:22,022 They're there. They're around. They're around. 1281 01:27:22,046 --> 01:27:24,046 So they're helping you take care of your children? 1282 01:27:24,736 --> 01:27:27,236 Their pay checks are helping me take care of my children. 1283 01:27:27,260 --> 01:27:29,560 So they're not raising your children...? 1284 01:27:29,584 --> 01:27:31,684 Well, you know, I mean... How... I don't mean, 1285 01:27:31,708 --> 01:27:34,408 What does raising children really mean anyway? 1286 01:27:34,432 --> 01:27:35,632 You know, I saying... 1287 01:27:35,656 --> 01:27:39,556 That's a good question Nashville what does raising children really mean? 102312

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