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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:04,161 Hi. I'm Michael. 2 00:01:06,078 --> 00:01:08,078 Paul. 3 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,579 I hear you're having 4 00:01:12,579 --> 00:01:12,779 some trouble. 5 00:01:15,412 --> 00:01:17,037 It's okay. 6 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,538 It's okay. 7 00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:23,620 I just... 8 00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:26,830 don't understand 9 00:01:26,871 --> 00:01:29,663 why God made me like this. 10 00:01:30,663 --> 00:01:33,663 He didn't. Trust me. 11 00:01:35,413 --> 00:01:37,372 Let me tell you something. 12 00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:38,376 You should never 13 00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:39,539 define yourself 14 00:01:39,580 --> 00:01:40,917 by your choices 15 00:01:41,117 --> 00:01:42,456 or your desires. 16 00:01:42,498 --> 00:01:45,747 Gay doesn't exist. 17 00:01:45,789 --> 00:01:47,789 It's a false identity. 18 00:01:47,831 --> 00:01:49,997 But this isn't my choice. 19 00:01:50,039 --> 00:01:51,585 Wh-Why would I choose... 20 00:01:51,785 --> 00:01:53,331 You always have a choice. 21 00:01:56,498 --> 00:01:56,298 You wanna go 22 00:01:56,498 --> 00:01:58,457 to heaven, right? 23 00:01:58,499 --> 00:02:00,374 Yes. 24 00:02:00,415 --> 00:02:02,374 If you're a moral person, 25 00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:03,669 then you'll choose 26 00:02:03,869 --> 00:02:05,123 heterosexuality 27 00:02:05,165 --> 00:02:07,165 in order to be with God. 28 00:02:35,042 --> 00:02:36,917 Ohh... 29 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,459 Hey. 30 00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:44,876 Hey. Hey. 31 00:02:44,918 --> 00:02:46,293 Where are you going? 32 00:02:46,335 --> 00:02:46,135 I'm gonna 33 00:02:46,335 --> 00:02:47,709 make us breakfast. 34 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:47,551 No. 35 00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,293 Yeah. Come on. 36 00:02:50,335 --> 00:02:53,126 Breakfast is the most important 37 00:02:53,126 --> 00:02:54,026 part of the day. 38 00:02:54,226 --> 00:02:54,576 I'll have muffins 39 00:02:54,776 --> 00:02:55,126 at my meeting. 40 00:02:55,168 --> 00:02:56,751 Muffin? 41 00:02:56,793 --> 00:02:59,168 Yeah, muffins. 42 00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:01,169 Blueberry. 43 00:03:01,169 --> 00:03:01,011 Mmm. 44 00:03:01,211 --> 00:03:03,461 Okay. Okay. 45 00:03:03,503 --> 00:03:05,627 Then we'll do lunch, okay? 46 00:03:05,669 --> 00:03:08,044 Mm, morning breath. 47 00:03:08,086 --> 00:03:10,086 Oh, stop it. 48 00:03:10,127 --> 00:03:13,127 Get off! 49 00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:15,794 ♪♪ 50 00:03:43,088 --> 00:03:46,547 ♪♪ 51 00:03:52,381 --> 00:03:52,181 Don't you, 52 00:03:52,381 --> 00:03:55,548 like, work at XY? 53 00:03:55,548 --> 00:03:57,176 Yeah. Yeah. That's right. 54 00:03:57,376 --> 00:03:58,090 'Cause you guys are, like, 55 00:03:58,290 --> 00:03:59,005 the only cool gay magazine 56 00:03:59,005 --> 00:03:59,676 out there right now. 57 00:03:59,876 --> 00:04:00,548 Oh. Yeah, sort of. 58 00:04:27,966 --> 00:04:29,674 Listen up, queens! 59 00:04:34,383 --> 00:04:36,300 ♪♪ 60 00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:02,809 61 00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:02,809 Matthew Shepard 62 00:05:03,009 --> 00:05:05,801 was an openly gay man. 63 00:05:05,843 --> 00:05:05,643 When he went to a Laramie, 64 00:05:05,843 --> 00:05:08,553 Wyoming bar last week, 65 00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:08,394 these two suspects 66 00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:08,394 lured him outside, 67 00:05:08,594 --> 00:05:12,261 pretending to be gay. 68 00:05:12,302 --> 00:05:12,102 Now they're charged 69 00:05:12,302 --> 00:05:14,594 with a vicious attack 70 00:05:14,635 --> 00:05:14,435 that left Shepard 71 00:05:14,635 --> 00:05:16,635 hanging on this fence 72 00:05:16,677 --> 00:05:16,477 for 18 hours 73 00:05:16,677 --> 00:05:18,885 in freezing temperatures. 74 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:18,727 Shepard remained 75 00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:20,635 on life support 76 00:05:20,677 --> 00:05:20,477 until this morning 77 00:05:20,677 --> 00:05:22,885 when he passed away. 78 00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:22,727 Shepard's family 79 00:05:22,927 --> 00:05:25,345 is grateful for support 80 00:05:25,387 --> 00:05:27,886 from around the world. 81 00:05:38,095 --> 00:05:37,895 They killed him 82 00:05:38,095 --> 00:05:40,429 because they were afraid. 83 00:05:40,471 --> 00:05:41,850 And they are afraid 84 00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:40,271 because of what 85 00:05:40,471 --> 00:05:43,429 their churches tell them 86 00:05:43,471 --> 00:05:44,308 and because of what 87 00:05:44,508 --> 00:05:45,346 they see in movies. 88 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:48,804 It's fucking ridiculous. 89 00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:48,704 I hope they get 90 00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:50,037 the death penalty. 91 00:05:50,237 --> 00:05:50,754 You're against 92 00:05:50,954 --> 00:05:51,112 the death penalty. 93 00:05:51,312 --> 00:05:51,471 Not in this case. 94 00:05:51,513 --> 00:05:52,913 That's like being for free 95 00:05:53,113 --> 00:05:53,713 speech until someone tells you 96 00:05:53,913 --> 00:05:54,513 something that pisses you off. 97 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:54,355 He died a slow death 98 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:58,347 after being tied to a fence 99 00:05:58,347 --> 00:05:58,189 and tortured. 100 00:05:58,389 --> 00:05:59,289 Exactly. A slow death 101 00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:00,389 is way more painful. 102 00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,309 They should spend the rest 103 00:06:01,509 --> 00:06:02,389 of their lives in prison. 104 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:02,230 Okay, look. We need 105 00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:05,347 to move away from labels, 106 00:06:05,389 --> 00:06:05,189 because they segment, 107 00:06:05,389 --> 00:06:08,180 and they lead to persecution. 108 00:06:08,222 --> 00:06:09,497 People don't wanna 109 00:06:09,697 --> 00:06:10,972 be perceived as gay 110 00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:10,813 because they're afraid 111 00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:14,973 they'll end up like Matthew. 112 00:06:15,014 --> 00:06:17,223 But we are a gay magazine. 113 00:06:17,265 --> 00:06:17,065 Identifying as gay 114 00:06:17,265 --> 00:06:19,306 is being part of a community. 115 00:06:19,348 --> 00:06:20,206 It's recognition, 116 00:06:20,406 --> 00:06:21,265 it's progress... 117 00:06:21,306 --> 00:06:22,185 We've been telling the kids 118 00:06:22,385 --> 00:06:23,265 in the magazine to come out, 119 00:06:23,306 --> 00:06:24,539 to be proud to be gay. 120 00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:25,256 They should be proud 121 00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:25,973 to be themselves. 122 00:06:26,014 --> 00:06:25,814 Gay and straight 123 00:06:26,014 --> 00:06:29,682 are just social constructs. 124 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:29,523 Oh, God, 125 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,099 you and your queer theory. 126 00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:31,940 Class is in session 127 00:06:32,140 --> 00:06:34,349 with Professor Michael Glatze. 128 00:06:34,391 --> 00:06:34,191 Shut up. 129 00:06:34,391 --> 00:06:36,974 Okay. Okay, look. 130 00:06:37,015 --> 00:06:41,224 We need to put out the message 131 00:06:41,224 --> 00:06:41,424 that being attracted 132 00:06:41,224 --> 00:06:41,066 to the same sex 133 00:06:41,266 --> 00:06:43,641 doesn't define who you are. 134 00:06:45,724 --> 00:06:47,724 ♪♪ 135 00:06:54,141 --> 00:06:55,724 Hey. 136 00:06:55,766 --> 00:06:58,100 Have you been smoking? 137 00:06:59,141 --> 00:07:00,459 Just one. 138 00:07:00,659 --> 00:07:01,976 A small one. 139 00:07:02,017 --> 00:07:03,476 It was a small cigarette. 140 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,684 Busted. 141 00:07:09,767 --> 00:07:11,725 A letter to the editor. 142 00:07:11,767 --> 00:07:13,875 90% are some poor teen 143 00:07:14,075 --> 00:07:16,185 with religious parents. 144 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:16,027 Fucking 145 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:19,477 Christian fundamentalists 146 00:07:19,477 --> 00:07:19,677 should burn in hell. 147 00:07:20,519 --> 00:07:22,269 Uh, okay. 148 00:07:22,310 --> 00:07:24,269 In the meantime, 149 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:24,110 there is 150 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,519 a design competition 151 00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:26,361 for the Halifax 152 00:07:26,561 --> 00:07:29,643 International Airport. 153 00:07:29,685 --> 00:07:30,481 I don't wanna 154 00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:31,478 move to Halifax. 155 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,711 I know, but my father wants me 156 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,103 to head up the bid committee. 157 00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:33,944 It's huge. 158 00:07:34,144 --> 00:07:36,853 Halifax is so boring. 159 00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:39,478 But your hometown 160 00:07:39,478 --> 00:07:39,378 is boring. 161 00:07:39,478 --> 00:07:40,002 Is not. 162 00:07:40,202 --> 00:07:40,364 Olympia? 163 00:07:40,564 --> 00:07:40,727 Yeah. 164 00:07:40,769 --> 00:07:42,769 It's all trees 165 00:07:42,811 --> 00:07:44,769 and fog and coffee. 166 00:07:44,811 --> 00:07:44,611 And the birthplace 167 00:07:44,811 --> 00:07:46,853 of the riot grrrl movement 168 00:07:46,894 --> 00:07:46,694 and where Kurt Cobain 169 00:07:46,894 --> 00:07:50,062 wrote most of Nevermind. 170 00:07:50,104 --> 00:07:51,854 Oh, well... 171 00:07:51,895 --> 00:07:51,695 Yeah. 172 00:07:51,895 --> 00:07:54,187 In that case... 173 00:07:54,229 --> 00:07:57,604 But it's unsustainable here 174 00:07:57,604 --> 00:07:54,029 unless you're in 175 00:07:54,229 --> 00:07:57,604 the dot-com movement. 176 00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:57,445 And I don't wanna live 177 00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:02,645 in a studio on Mission Street 178 00:08:02,645 --> 00:08:04,400 when we're 50. 179 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:02,487 Well, we won't be. 180 00:08:02,687 --> 00:08:06,355 We'll be in a big mansion 181 00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:06,555 on a hill. 182 00:08:06,755 --> 00:08:07,480 Duh. 183 00:08:10,646 --> 00:08:10,446 184 00:08:10,646 --> 00:08:12,938 May 21st, 2000. 185 00:08:12,980 --> 00:08:14,109 I used to imagine myself 186 00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:15,438 growing old 187 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:15,280 while living in a house 188 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,313 atop a hill in the Castro. 189 00:08:18,355 --> 00:08:18,155 But what's more 190 00:08:18,355 --> 00:08:20,314 important to me 191 00:08:20,356 --> 00:08:20,156 is growing old with 192 00:08:20,356 --> 00:08:23,856 the love of my life, Bennett. 193 00:08:23,897 --> 00:08:23,697 So, I'm leaving San Francisco 194 00:08:23,897 --> 00:08:28,856 to live in Halifax, Canada. 195 00:08:28,897 --> 00:08:28,697 Although I'm sad 196 00:08:28,897 --> 00:08:31,356 to leave XY magazine, 197 00:08:31,398 --> 00:08:31,198 I'm excited 198 00:08:31,398 --> 00:08:33,022 to finally accept 199 00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:32,864 the speaking offers 200 00:08:33,064 --> 00:08:34,982 I've been receiving 201 00:08:35,023 --> 00:08:34,823 this past year 202 00:08:35,023 --> 00:08:36,982 thanks to my work 203 00:08:37,023 --> 00:08:38,898 as a writer and activist. 204 00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:40,857 What a lot of people 205 00:08:40,857 --> 00:08:42,444 aren't aware of 206 00:08:42,644 --> 00:08:40,698 is that the terms 207 00:08:40,898 --> 00:08:44,232 heterosexual and homosexual 208 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,132 were only introduced 209 00:08:46,332 --> 00:08:48,190 about 100 years ago. 210 00:08:48,232 --> 00:08:48,032 As my mother 211 00:08:48,232 --> 00:08:50,649 used to always say, 212 00:08:50,691 --> 00:08:52,149 "When you help others, 213 00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:53,882 you're helping yourself 214 00:08:54,082 --> 00:08:55,774 as well." 215 00:08:55,816 --> 00:08:57,341 My goal is to thread a needle 216 00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,066 through the fabric 217 00:08:59,108 --> 00:08:58,908 of this country 218 00:08:59,108 --> 00:09:01,567 and stitch together 219 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:01,408 the lives of gay kids 220 00:09:01,608 --> 00:09:04,149 everywhere. 221 00:09:04,191 --> 00:09:05,466 I know a lot of you 222 00:09:05,666 --> 00:09:06,942 are balancing religion 223 00:09:06,984 --> 00:09:08,258 and sexuality, but, 224 00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:09,733 I mean, come on, 225 00:09:09,775 --> 00:09:13,692 what God would punish you 226 00:09:13,692 --> 00:09:13,892 for finding love? 227 00:10:06,153 --> 00:10:05,953 This is where 228 00:10:06,153 --> 00:10:10,654 I spread my mom's ashes. 229 00:10:24,196 --> 00:10:26,573 Oh, my God. 230 00:10:26,614 --> 00:10:29,738 She's still here. 231 00:10:43,574 --> 00:10:46,615 Mom, I'm going to stay here 232 00:10:46,615 --> 00:10:46,456 with you. 233 00:10:46,656 --> 00:10:48,639 Don't be stubborn. 234 00:10:48,839 --> 00:10:46,456 You are not skipping 235 00:10:46,656 --> 00:10:50,823 the semester to be with me. 236 00:10:50,865 --> 00:10:53,031 I can help you through this. 237 00:10:53,073 --> 00:10:56,615 I'm going to be fine, 238 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:57,577 I told you. 239 00:10:57,777 --> 00:10:58,740 I feel better. 240 00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:00,657 Really, Michael. 241 00:11:03,199 --> 00:11:06,116 I am so proud of you. 242 00:11:06,157 --> 00:11:09,866 I love you so much. 243 00:11:09,907 --> 00:11:12,616 I love you. 244 00:11:20,075 --> 00:11:22,284 I should have stayed. 245 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,075 Everyone kept saying, 246 00:11:26,117 --> 00:11:25,917 "Don't worry, 247 00:11:26,117 --> 00:11:27,867 we're praying for her. 248 00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:30,076 Don't worry." 249 00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:35,410 Everyone's going to die. 250 00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:37,876 No amount of praying 251 00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:40,493 is ever going to change that. 252 00:12:01,911 --> 00:12:03,061 Got to get up, yeah. 253 00:12:03,261 --> 00:12:04,412 Another five minutes. 254 00:12:04,453 --> 00:12:04,253 I can't believe 255 00:12:04,453 --> 00:12:06,328 I'm approaching 256 00:12:06,370 --> 00:12:07,953 my one year anniversary 257 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:07,795 here in Halifax, 258 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,911 Nova Scotia, Canada. 259 00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:11,753 The food is amazing, 260 00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:15,328 especially the sushi. 261 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:15,170 The people are friendly, and, 262 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:19,204 although the gay community 263 00:12:19,246 --> 00:12:19,046 is much smaller 264 00:12:19,246 --> 00:12:21,580 than San Francisco, 265 00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:21,421 I have some big plans 266 00:12:21,621 --> 00:12:25,662 to really make an impact. 267 00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,122 What's wrong with you? 268 00:12:39,163 --> 00:12:40,414 Nothing. 269 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:44,313 Look, I have to find 270 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:45,330 something else to do. 271 00:12:45,372 --> 00:12:46,376 I'm just not cut out 272 00:12:46,576 --> 00:12:47,581 for administrative work. 273 00:12:49,664 --> 00:12:51,290 Give it some time. 274 00:12:51,331 --> 00:12:52,831 I have things I want to do. 275 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,044 I want my own magazine. 276 00:12:54,244 --> 00:12:55,415 I want something bigger. 277 00:12:55,456 --> 00:12:58,206 I want to influence people. 278 00:12:58,206 --> 00:12:59,148 I can't do that here. 279 00:12:59,348 --> 00:13:00,290 You're being such a shit. 280 00:13:00,290 --> 00:13:01,273 We made the decision 281 00:13:01,473 --> 00:13:02,456 to leave San Francisco 282 00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:00,131 together. 283 00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:02,456 No, we didn't. 284 00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:02,298 I mean, 285 00:13:02,498 --> 00:13:04,540 you had to take this job, 286 00:13:04,582 --> 00:13:06,832 just like you had to take 287 00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:06,732 the job that took us 288 00:13:06,832 --> 00:13:06,674 to San Francisco. 289 00:13:06,874 --> 00:13:06,674 Which is how you got your job 290 00:13:06,874 --> 00:13:08,541 at XY, 291 00:13:08,583 --> 00:13:10,665 so you should be thanking me. 292 00:13:13,665 --> 00:13:16,832 Is this... this is supposed 293 00:13:16,832 --> 00:13:16,674 to be Mexican food? 294 00:13:16,874 --> 00:13:18,665 Why don't you go to the store 295 00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:18,865 and make your own food? 296 00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,165 Maybe I will. 297 00:13:20,207 --> 00:13:20,857 You'll have to ask me 298 00:13:21,058 --> 00:13:21,708 for money, though, 299 00:13:21,749 --> 00:13:23,708 'cause you don't have any, 300 00:13:23,708 --> 00:13:23,908 remember? 301 00:14:07,751 --> 00:14:12,211 Hey. 302 00:14:12,253 --> 00:14:14,752 You're Mike, right? 303 00:14:14,794 --> 00:14:16,794 Uhh... yeah. 304 00:14:16,836 --> 00:14:19,048 The "XY Survivor Guide" 305 00:14:19,248 --> 00:14:21,461 really helped me out. 306 00:14:21,503 --> 00:14:24,461 Are you stalking me 307 00:14:24,461 --> 00:14:24,662 or something? 308 00:14:24,862 --> 00:14:26,504 Tyler. 309 00:14:26,546 --> 00:14:28,504 Hi. 310 00:14:28,546 --> 00:14:30,920 I just... I wanted you to know, 311 00:14:30,962 --> 00:14:32,920 I agree with everything 312 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:32,762 that you say 313 00:14:32,962 --> 00:14:34,778 about gay identity 314 00:14:34,978 --> 00:14:36,795 and sexuality. 315 00:14:36,837 --> 00:14:38,712 I don't want to be put 316 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:38,553 into a box 317 00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,463 just because I'm gay. 318 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,380 You don't want to be 319 00:14:42,380 --> 00:14:42,222 in a box? 320 00:14:42,422 --> 00:14:46,088 No, I don't want to be 321 00:14:46,088 --> 00:14:45,930 in a box. 322 00:14:46,130 --> 00:14:48,754 You're so fucking cute. 323 00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:51,255 Can I buy you a drink? 324 00:14:51,297 --> 00:14:55,338 Don't you have a boyfriend? 325 00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:58,506 He'll think you're cute, too. 326 00:15:39,924 --> 00:15:43,924 ♪♪ 327 00:15:45,509 --> 00:15:47,551 It's a galaxy. 328 00:15:47,593 --> 00:15:50,342 Um, actually it's a spiral. 329 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:51,471 It's the only symbol 330 00:15:51,671 --> 00:15:52,758 that means anything. 331 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:52,600 It's infinite. 332 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,967 No beginning, no end. 333 00:15:56,009 --> 00:15:56,617 There's a beginning, 334 00:15:56,817 --> 00:15:57,426 and there's an end. 335 00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:57,267 All right, well, 336 00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:58,842 there's a more complicated one 337 00:15:58,884 --> 00:16:00,302 that has no beginning 338 00:16:00,302 --> 00:16:00,143 and no end, 339 00:16:00,343 --> 00:16:01,868 but I can't do it 340 00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:03,594 on my pancakes, okay? 341 00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:08,843 How did you guys meet? 342 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:08,685 How did we meet? 343 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:12,385 Uhh... San Francisco. 344 00:16:12,427 --> 00:16:13,681 We volunteered at this AIDS 345 00:16:13,881 --> 00:16:15,135 prevention organization. 346 00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:16,595 And we both got arrested 347 00:16:16,636 --> 00:16:16,436 protesting 348 00:16:16,636 --> 00:16:18,677 this Christian Coalition event, 349 00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:18,519 which is how 350 00:16:18,719 --> 00:16:22,094 I knew it was true love. 351 00:16:22,136 --> 00:16:25,428 Awesome. 352 00:16:25,469 --> 00:16:27,052 How about you? 353 00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:28,595 What's your deal? 354 00:16:28,636 --> 00:16:30,511 Who are you? 355 00:16:30,553 --> 00:16:33,470 Uhh... I'm a physics student. 356 00:16:33,512 --> 00:16:34,391 Really? 357 00:16:34,591 --> 00:16:35,470 Yeah. 358 00:16:35,512 --> 00:16:36,641 Physics. 359 00:16:36,841 --> 00:16:37,970 Science. 360 00:16:38,012 --> 00:16:39,720 I want to be an astronaut, 361 00:16:39,761 --> 00:16:39,561 but that's 362 00:16:39,761 --> 00:16:41,637 probably a long shot. 363 00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:44,745 I'd be terrified 364 00:16:44,945 --> 00:16:45,845 to go into space. 365 00:16:45,887 --> 00:16:48,388 It's just, to me, 366 00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:52,263 Earth is just this tiny speck 367 00:16:52,263 --> 00:16:52,463 in the universe, 368 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:52,105 and humans 369 00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:54,179 have only been around 370 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,017 for just a speck 371 00:16:55,217 --> 00:16:56,013 of that timeline. 372 00:16:56,054 --> 00:16:58,138 So, it's just... 373 00:16:58,179 --> 00:17:00,721 there has to be more to life 374 00:17:00,721 --> 00:17:01,204 than just this, 375 00:17:01,404 --> 00:17:01,888 don't you think? 376 00:17:05,556 --> 00:17:07,389 Totally. 377 00:17:09,847 --> 00:17:11,180 Totally! 378 00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:14,847 So, Tyler was really cute, huh? 379 00:17:16,805 --> 00:17:19,473 Interesting. 380 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:19,314 Mm-hm. 381 00:17:19,515 --> 00:17:21,764 It is interesting, isn't it? 382 00:17:21,764 --> 00:17:22,810 Very interesting. 383 00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:24,056 You know why? 384 00:17:24,098 --> 00:17:25,973 Because I love you so much... 385 00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:29,931 and I really feel like 386 00:17:29,931 --> 00:17:29,773 we're at a place 387 00:17:29,973 --> 00:17:30,831 in our relationship where 388 00:17:31,031 --> 00:17:31,890 there's more than enough love 389 00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:34,015 to go around, 390 00:17:34,056 --> 00:17:33,856 and I know 391 00:17:34,056 --> 00:17:35,849 that I'm not afraid of that, 392 00:17:35,891 --> 00:17:36,562 and I don't think 393 00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:37,433 that you are, either. 394 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,974 Hmm. 395 00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,474 Maybe I am afraid. 396 00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:42,057 Well, you shouldn't be afraid 397 00:17:42,099 --> 00:17:41,899 Why? 398 00:17:42,099 --> 00:17:43,353 because I'm here 399 00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:44,807 to protect you. 400 00:17:52,392 --> 00:17:54,892 Carrot thief. 401 00:17:54,933 --> 00:17:59,975 Here's our very uncool 402 00:17:59,975 --> 00:18:00,175 soccer mom van. 403 00:18:01,808 --> 00:18:04,850 Who are these guys? 404 00:18:04,892 --> 00:18:07,268 July 23rd, 2002... 405 00:18:07,310 --> 00:18:08,105 Road trip. 406 00:18:08,305 --> 00:18:09,101 Road Trip. 407 00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:08,943 I'm driving across America 408 00:18:09,143 --> 00:18:12,643 with Bennett and Tyler 409 00:18:12,684 --> 00:18:14,438 for an exciting new project 410 00:18:14,638 --> 00:18:16,393 I'm working on. 411 00:18:16,435 --> 00:18:18,018 I guess both beds are taken. 412 00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:17,859 I don't know 413 00:18:18,059 --> 00:18:20,059 where you're going to sleep. 414 00:18:20,101 --> 00:18:24,436 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. 415 00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:26,860 This is the most fun 416 00:18:27,060 --> 00:18:29,977 I've ever had in my whole life. 417 00:18:30,019 --> 00:18:31,273 Really? 418 00:18:31,473 --> 00:18:32,727 No. 419 00:18:32,768 --> 00:18:32,568 We are making a documentary 420 00:18:32,768 --> 00:18:36,977 about queer youth in America 421 00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:36,819 because discrimination 422 00:18:37,019 --> 00:18:40,228 against L-G-B-T youth 423 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:42,811 must be eliminated. 424 00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:42,653 I just wish people could see 425 00:18:42,853 --> 00:18:46,978 that these kids have faces, 426 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:46,820 names, and voices 427 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:51,145 that need to be heard. 428 00:18:51,186 --> 00:18:50,986 Growing up in the Church 429 00:18:51,186 --> 00:18:55,062 and realizing that you're gay 430 00:18:55,104 --> 00:18:57,479 is very difficult. 431 00:18:57,521 --> 00:18:57,321 You know your family 432 00:18:57,521 --> 00:19:01,271 has never talked about it. 433 00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:01,113 I mean, I'm 13 434 00:19:01,313 --> 00:19:02,608 and it's the first time 435 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,104 I've heard the word. 436 00:19:04,146 --> 00:19:08,104 And, when I heard the word 437 00:19:08,104 --> 00:19:09,795 and knew what it was, 438 00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:10,741 then it was like, 439 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:11,688 "Hey, I know that. 440 00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,980 I understand that. 441 00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:14,822 That's me." 442 00:19:15,022 --> 00:19:17,063 My mom, she's trying. 443 00:19:17,105 --> 00:19:17,796 She's, like, really 444 00:19:17,996 --> 00:19:18,688 in the closet about it. 445 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,771 she won't mention it to anybody 446 00:19:20,771 --> 00:19:20,971 or anything like that. 447 00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:21,725 She tries to act 448 00:19:21,925 --> 00:19:22,480 like I'm straight 449 00:19:22,522 --> 00:19:23,380 and expects me to act 450 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,439 like I'm straight 451 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:24,280 along with her, 452 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,814 but I'm not like that. 453 00:19:26,856 --> 00:19:27,777 And this was probably 454 00:19:27,977 --> 00:19:28,898 more overwhelming 455 00:19:28,939 --> 00:19:31,981 when I tried to kill myself. 456 00:19:32,023 --> 00:19:35,398 But I felt 457 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:35,240 so invisible 458 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,231 to everyone around me 459 00:19:38,273 --> 00:19:40,148 who was straight. 460 00:19:40,189 --> 00:19:43,649 There are times when I realize 461 00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:46,815 that I'm just as much 462 00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:47,736 a creation of God 463 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:48,815 as everyone else. 464 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,316 Olympia, Washington. 465 00:19:54,357 --> 00:19:57,857 This is kind of somber, but... 466 00:19:57,899 --> 00:20:00,609 even though I grew up here, 467 00:20:00,650 --> 00:20:03,567 because both my parents 468 00:20:03,609 --> 00:20:05,858 don't live anymore, 469 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,275 it feels like this place 470 00:20:08,275 --> 00:20:08,117 is a part of a past 471 00:20:08,317 --> 00:20:10,233 that doesn't exist anymore. 472 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:13,567 And I wasn't gay here. 473 00:20:13,609 --> 00:20:14,817 I mean, you couldn't be. 474 00:20:14,859 --> 00:20:16,359 There was this kid 475 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:16,201 that everyone 476 00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:16,201 just thought way gay 477 00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:19,234 and he had to leave school 478 00:20:19,276 --> 00:20:22,318 'cause he got picked on 479 00:20:22,318 --> 00:20:22,518 so much. 480 00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:31,993 481 00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:33,818 What's it like here? 482 00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,776 Liberty is Falwell territory, 483 00:20:35,818 --> 00:20:37,572 so, as you can imagine, 484 00:20:37,772 --> 00:20:39,527 it's not very gay friendly. 485 00:20:42,652 --> 00:20:45,110 So, why do you stay? 486 00:20:45,152 --> 00:20:49,486 Uh... 487 00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:52,403 Well, I don't know, I, umm... 488 00:20:52,445 --> 00:20:53,240 I didn't come out 489 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:54,236 to friends and family 490 00:20:54,278 --> 00:20:56,194 until last year, 491 00:20:56,236 --> 00:21:00,819 and I have another year 492 00:21:00,819 --> 00:21:01,448 before I graduate. 493 00:21:01,648 --> 00:21:02,279 I'm a Christian. 494 00:21:02,321 --> 00:21:04,195 So... 495 00:21:04,237 --> 00:21:05,241 Which a lot of people 496 00:21:05,441 --> 00:21:06,446 think is impossible, 497 00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:06,287 but I think 498 00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:08,154 that's just as ridiculous 499 00:21:08,195 --> 00:21:11,446 as the anti-gay right, so... 500 00:21:13,737 --> 00:21:17,029 Just a second. Sorry. 501 00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:18,155 Hey, Soph. 502 00:21:22,863 --> 00:21:25,696 We're going to wait with you 503 00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:27,513 until he comes, okay? 504 00:21:27,713 --> 00:21:28,521 Her mother just passed. 505 00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:29,530 Do you mind not filming us? 506 00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:29,372 So awful. 507 00:21:29,572 --> 00:21:33,280 Here, let's pray. 508 00:21:33,322 --> 00:21:36,573 All right, turn it off. 509 00:21:36,615 --> 00:21:39,531 Just give her the strength 510 00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:39,373 to get through 511 00:21:39,573 --> 00:21:41,156 this incredibly difficult time, 512 00:21:41,197 --> 00:21:42,489 and we pray 513 00:21:42,531 --> 00:21:44,281 that you would just 514 00:21:44,281 --> 00:21:44,123 fill us all 515 00:21:44,323 --> 00:21:45,323 with the compassion to know 516 00:21:45,364 --> 00:21:46,947 what she must be going through 517 00:21:46,989 --> 00:21:48,368 because it would be impossible 518 00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:49,948 for us to fully comprehend. 519 00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:51,536 Just show her yourself, 520 00:21:51,736 --> 00:21:53,282 Father, during this time, 521 00:21:53,324 --> 00:21:55,032 and look to you right now, 522 00:21:55,032 --> 00:21:55,232 Father... 523 00:22:15,408 --> 00:22:17,491 Hey. 524 00:22:17,533 --> 00:22:19,991 Babe? 525 00:22:20,033 --> 00:22:22,783 We gotta go. Gotta be there 526 00:22:22,783 --> 00:22:22,983 at 9:30. You ready? 527 00:22:22,783 --> 00:22:22,625 Yeah. 528 00:22:22,825 --> 00:22:22,625 All right. 529 00:22:22,825 --> 00:22:25,034 See you in the car. 530 00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:29,167 531 00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:29,167 I didn't come out 532 00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:31,409 to friends and family 533 00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:33,117 until last year. 534 00:22:33,159 --> 00:22:36,783 I'm a Christian, so... 535 00:22:36,825 --> 00:22:36,625 which a lot of people 536 00:22:36,825 --> 00:22:39,035 think is impossible, 537 00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:38,876 but I think that's 538 00:22:39,076 --> 00:22:40,743 just as ridiculous 539 00:22:40,784 --> 00:22:43,784 as the anti-gay right, so... 540 00:22:46,535 --> 00:22:46,335 541 00:22:46,535 --> 00:22:48,285 When I was young, 542 00:22:48,327 --> 00:22:50,081 I didn't know that there were 543 00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,035 people like me. 544 00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:51,876 I felt lost, 545 00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:56,036 alone, and confused. 546 00:22:56,077 --> 00:22:57,498 I never even told my mother, 547 00:22:57,698 --> 00:22:59,119 my best friend, 548 00:22:59,161 --> 00:22:58,961 that I was gay, 549 00:22:59,161 --> 00:23:01,286 because I was afraid 550 00:23:01,328 --> 00:23:02,869 she wouldn't accept me. 551 00:23:02,911 --> 00:23:02,711 That's why 552 00:23:02,911 --> 00:23:05,244 we're on this journey, 553 00:23:05,286 --> 00:23:05,086 to let gay kids 554 00:23:05,286 --> 00:23:09,579 know that they are not alone. 555 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:09,421 And, you know what? 556 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:12,579 I learned a lot as well 557 00:23:12,621 --> 00:23:12,421 because we met 558 00:23:12,621 --> 00:23:15,537 so many amazing people 559 00:23:15,579 --> 00:23:15,379 who've heard 560 00:23:15,579 --> 00:23:17,621 their parents or pastors 561 00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,287 tell them they're wrong, 562 00:23:19,329 --> 00:23:19,129 and yet they've come 563 00:23:19,329 --> 00:23:21,703 to the realization 564 00:23:21,745 --> 00:23:24,412 they're beautiful, blessed, 565 00:23:24,454 --> 00:23:24,254 and that God loves them 566 00:23:24,454 --> 00:23:28,163 just as they are. 567 00:23:28,204 --> 00:23:28,004 I mean, people who believe 568 00:23:28,204 --> 00:23:32,663 that homosexuality is wrong 569 00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:32,504 are going to change 570 00:23:32,704 --> 00:23:34,580 their minds 571 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,954 thanks to this next generation 572 00:23:37,954 --> 00:23:38,154 because... 573 00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:41,758 Look at the sky. 574 00:24:41,958 --> 00:24:44,584 It is fucking beautiful. 575 00:24:48,043 --> 00:24:50,043 What is this, babe? 576 00:24:50,084 --> 00:24:52,876 Huh? 577 00:24:52,918 --> 00:24:54,751 Oh, it's stupid. 578 00:24:54,792 --> 00:24:56,335 Somebody gave it to me 579 00:24:56,335 --> 00:24:56,176 on the street. 580 00:24:56,376 --> 00:24:59,585 "Where will we go when we die?" 581 00:24:59,627 --> 00:25:02,919 Baby... 582 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:02,760 You guys, 583 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,210 where will we go when we die? 584 00:25:05,252 --> 00:25:05,052 In 2012, 585 00:25:05,252 --> 00:25:08,710 the world is supposed to end. 586 00:25:08,752 --> 00:25:10,294 That a real thing? 587 00:25:10,336 --> 00:25:12,210 I hope not. 588 00:25:12,252 --> 00:25:14,793 Everyone knows this. 589 00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:17,470 You know, 590 00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:20,295 the Mayan calendar thing, 591 00:25:20,337 --> 00:25:22,170 that's what they drew, 592 00:25:22,170 --> 00:25:22,011 is the moon, 593 00:25:22,211 --> 00:25:23,174 the sun and the moon 594 00:25:23,374 --> 00:25:24,337 is its own thing. 595 00:26:19,881 --> 00:26:19,681 We want to know. 596 00:26:19,881 --> 00:26:22,757 We want to know. Please. 597 00:26:42,175 --> 00:26:46,592 Mike? 598 00:26:46,634 --> 00:26:46,434 You guys go on. 599 00:26:46,634 --> 00:26:48,300 I'll meet you at home. 600 00:26:48,342 --> 00:26:50,425 You okay? 601 00:26:50,467 --> 00:26:51,592 Yeah, I'm fine. 602 00:26:51,634 --> 00:26:54,301 Where are you going? 603 00:26:54,343 --> 00:26:55,509 Michael? 604 00:26:57,676 --> 00:26:59,513 What's that about? 605 00:26:59,713 --> 00:27:00,532 I have absolutely 606 00:27:00,732 --> 00:27:01,551 no earthly idea. 607 00:27:42,304 --> 00:27:46,929 Baby. 608 00:27:46,970 --> 00:27:49,471 I was worried about you today. 609 00:27:49,471 --> 00:27:49,671 What's going on? 610 00:27:55,721 --> 00:27:58,639 It's stupid. 611 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,888 Baby, nothing's stupid. 612 00:28:00,888 --> 00:28:01,088 Tell me what. 613 00:28:04,555 --> 00:28:05,804 Do you think... 614 00:28:08,138 --> 00:28:09,513 when we die... 615 00:28:11,096 --> 00:28:10,896 we just disappear 616 00:28:11,096 --> 00:28:14,097 like we never existed? 617 00:28:18,847 --> 00:28:22,389 No, I don't think that 618 00:28:22,431 --> 00:28:22,231 because I know 619 00:28:22,431 --> 00:28:27,181 that we'll always be together. 620 00:28:27,222 --> 00:28:30,098 Baby. 621 00:28:36,265 --> 00:28:38,390 Baby. 622 00:28:38,432 --> 00:28:40,098 Baby, you okay? 623 00:28:47,350 --> 00:28:49,807 ♪♪ 624 00:28:58,558 --> 00:29:01,059 Let's pray for her. 625 00:29:01,059 --> 00:29:01,259 Let's pray. 626 00:29:13,808 --> 00:29:17,644 Bennett! 627 00:29:22,393 --> 00:29:24,560 I'm really light-headed. 628 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:24,402 It's okay. 629 00:29:24,602 --> 00:29:27,143 It's okay, we're almost there. 630 00:29:41,769 --> 00:29:44,019 Okay. 631 00:29:44,061 --> 00:29:43,861 Your heart rate 632 00:29:44,061 --> 00:29:47,811 seems to have returned 633 00:29:47,811 --> 00:29:47,653 back to normal. 634 00:29:47,853 --> 00:29:49,811 Can you check again? 635 00:29:49,853 --> 00:29:51,604 Just because your father 636 00:29:51,604 --> 00:29:52,253 had H-C-M 637 00:29:52,453 --> 00:29:52,678 does not mean 638 00:29:52,878 --> 00:29:53,103 that you have it. 639 00:29:53,145 --> 00:29:52,945 We followed 640 00:29:53,145 --> 00:29:55,520 our chest pain protocol, 641 00:29:55,562 --> 00:29:57,728 and there's nothing abnormal. 642 00:29:57,770 --> 00:30:00,479 You had a panic attack. Okay? 643 00:30:03,271 --> 00:30:04,938 Where's Bennett? 644 00:30:04,979 --> 00:30:06,771 He's in the lobby. 645 00:30:06,812 --> 00:30:10,229 As soon as you're checked out, 646 00:30:10,229 --> 00:30:10,429 you can see him. 647 00:30:10,629 --> 00:30:12,120 All right. 648 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,812 Thank you. 649 00:30:18,104 --> 00:30:19,689 I was 13 years old, 650 00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:19,530 walking along the beach 651 00:30:19,730 --> 00:30:22,105 with my father 652 00:30:22,147 --> 00:30:23,005 when he suddenly collapsed 653 00:30:23,205 --> 00:30:24,064 and died 654 00:30:24,105 --> 00:30:23,905 from an unexpected 655 00:30:24,105 --> 00:30:26,980 heart condition. 656 00:30:29,481 --> 00:30:31,897 If I've inherited his disease, 657 00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:31,739 the same thing 658 00:30:31,939 --> 00:30:35,773 could happen to me. 659 00:30:35,814 --> 00:30:37,898 What's wrong, baby? 660 00:30:37,940 --> 00:30:39,856 It's happening again. 661 00:30:39,898 --> 00:30:39,698 I can feel it. 662 00:30:39,898 --> 00:30:42,482 Baby, the test confirmed... 663 00:30:42,523 --> 00:30:44,106 They don't know. 664 00:30:44,148 --> 00:30:45,649 They don't care. 665 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:47,240 Now I'm having 666 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,440 heart palpitations 667 00:30:49,482 --> 00:30:51,899 all the time, 668 00:30:51,941 --> 00:30:51,741 and, contrary to what 669 00:30:51,941 --> 00:30:54,399 the doctors keep saying, 670 00:30:54,441 --> 00:30:54,241 I just know 671 00:30:54,441 --> 00:30:56,232 they aren't panic attacks. 672 00:30:58,566 --> 00:30:58,366 After months of fighting 673 00:30:58,566 --> 00:31:00,608 with my insurance, 674 00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:00,450 I was finally allowed 675 00:31:00,650 --> 00:31:02,941 to see a specialist 676 00:31:02,982 --> 00:31:03,944 who could definitely test 677 00:31:04,144 --> 00:31:05,107 whether or not 678 00:31:05,149 --> 00:31:04,949 I inherited 679 00:31:05,149 --> 00:31:08,400 my father's condition. 680 00:31:08,442 --> 00:31:08,242 Now, I have to wait 681 00:31:08,442 --> 00:31:11,775 for the results. 682 00:31:11,816 --> 00:31:13,692 Michael, just come here. 683 00:31:13,692 --> 00:31:14,258 Calm down. 684 00:31:14,458 --> 00:31:15,025 Calm down! 685 00:31:15,067 --> 00:31:14,867 Do you know 686 00:31:15,067 --> 00:31:16,609 what this disease means? 687 00:31:16,651 --> 00:31:16,451 It means I could die 688 00:31:16,651 --> 00:31:19,733 any minute, just drop dead. 689 00:31:19,775 --> 00:31:22,652 You calm down. 690 00:33:54,952 --> 00:33:59,410 ♪♪ 691 00:34:00,577 --> 00:34:03,203 Doctor Williams? Hi. 692 00:34:25,828 --> 00:34:27,663 Thank you, God. 693 00:34:31,745 --> 00:34:34,829 Thank you, God. 694 00:34:37,246 --> 00:34:37,046 The test confirmed 695 00:34:37,246 --> 00:34:40,288 that I did not inherit 696 00:34:40,330 --> 00:34:42,871 my father's heart condition. 697 00:34:42,913 --> 00:34:42,713 Although it's a massive 698 00:34:42,913 --> 00:34:45,664 sigh of relief, 699 00:34:45,705 --> 00:34:48,746 I keep thinking to myself, 700 00:34:48,788 --> 00:34:48,588 if I was really 701 00:34:48,788 --> 00:34:51,623 just having panic attacks, 702 00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:54,039 then what's wrong with me? 703 00:34:54,081 --> 00:34:55,956 What am I afraid of? 704 00:35:01,623 --> 00:35:01,423 All I know is that, when faced 705 00:35:01,623 --> 00:35:04,623 with your own death, 706 00:35:04,665 --> 00:35:04,465 it reminds you 707 00:35:04,665 --> 00:35:07,540 of what's important in life, 708 00:35:07,582 --> 00:35:07,382 and, for me, 709 00:35:07,582 --> 00:35:11,290 that's helping other people. 710 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:13,840 So I've decided 711 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:17,332 to start my own magazine. 712 00:35:17,374 --> 00:35:20,207 I'm calling it YGA, 713 00:35:20,248 --> 00:35:22,083 Young Gay Americans. 714 00:35:22,124 --> 00:35:23,832 It's gonna be the biggest 715 00:35:23,874 --> 00:35:23,674 and most sophisticated 716 00:35:23,874 --> 00:35:26,208 magazine aimed 717 00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:26,049 at improving the lives 718 00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:31,083 of L-G-B-T youth. 719 00:36:45,879 --> 00:36:49,921 What is this? What is this? 720 00:36:49,963 --> 00:36:54,004 Oh, my Go... 721 00:36:54,004 --> 00:36:53,846 Hi. 722 00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:53,846 You didn't. 723 00:36:54,046 --> 00:36:57,964 I knew you wanted one, baby. 724 00:37:07,755 --> 00:37:13,131 What are we going to call you? 725 00:37:13,173 --> 00:37:17,090 Ollie. Ollie, heel. 726 00:37:17,131 --> 00:37:16,931 I've been thinking 727 00:37:17,131 --> 00:37:20,590 about the next issue of YGA, 728 00:37:20,632 --> 00:37:21,844 and I think we need to address 729 00:37:22,044 --> 00:37:23,256 this whole Christianity thing. 730 00:37:23,298 --> 00:37:24,923 What do you mean? 731 00:37:24,965 --> 00:37:24,765 People think that gays 732 00:37:24,965 --> 00:37:28,591 and Christians are enemies. 733 00:37:28,633 --> 00:37:29,866 We've met so many people 734 00:37:30,066 --> 00:37:31,299 who've managed to balance 735 00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:31,141 their faith 736 00:37:31,341 --> 00:37:33,840 and their sexuality. 737 00:37:33,882 --> 00:37:34,574 But we've also met 738 00:37:34,774 --> 00:37:35,466 so many people 739 00:37:35,508 --> 00:37:37,716 whose parents and churches 740 00:37:37,716 --> 00:37:37,557 tell them 741 00:37:37,757 --> 00:37:39,675 they're going to burn 742 00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:39,575 in hell. 743 00:37:39,675 --> 00:37:39,516 Yeah, 744 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:39,516 which is why 745 00:37:39,716 --> 00:37:41,220 we should address it 746 00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:42,924 in the magazine. 747 00:37:42,966 --> 00:37:44,408 The whole, "You're gay, 748 00:37:44,608 --> 00:37:46,050 you're going to hell" myth 749 00:37:46,092 --> 00:37:49,509 was started by mistranslations 750 00:37:49,509 --> 00:37:49,709 and misinterpretations 751 00:37:49,909 --> 00:37:51,758 of the Bible. 752 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:51,600 God doesn't care what 753 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:55,175 your sexual orientation is. 754 00:37:55,217 --> 00:37:56,908 And the one thing 755 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,800 that the gay movement 756 00:37:58,841 --> 00:37:58,641 doesn't understand 757 00:37:58,841 --> 00:38:01,343 that I think Christianity does 758 00:38:01,385 --> 00:38:03,593 is that... 759 00:38:03,635 --> 00:38:05,014 not everyone wants to be 760 00:38:05,214 --> 00:38:06,593 a part of the sub culture. 761 00:38:08,218 --> 00:38:11,134 I'm sorry, what did you do 762 00:38:11,134 --> 00:38:11,334 with my boyfriend? 763 00:38:11,534 --> 00:38:10,976 Shut up. 764 00:38:11,176 --> 00:38:14,635 I'm not going to write, 765 00:38:14,635 --> 00:38:14,835 like... 766 00:38:17,219 --> 00:38:19,885 Gospel according to Michael 767 00:38:19,885 --> 00:38:20,085 or something. 768 00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:23,769 It might seem strange 769 00:38:23,969 --> 00:38:27,219 for a gay youth magazine 770 00:38:27,260 --> 00:38:28,806 to dedicate an entire issue 771 00:38:29,006 --> 00:38:30,552 to religion, 772 00:38:30,594 --> 00:38:32,640 but it's too important 773 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:34,886 to ignore. 774 00:38:34,928 --> 00:38:34,728 When my parents died, 775 00:38:34,928 --> 00:38:38,220 I blamed God. 776 00:38:38,261 --> 00:38:39,928 When I came out, 777 00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:39,770 I distanced myself 778 00:38:39,970 --> 00:38:44,053 even further from religion. 779 00:38:44,095 --> 00:38:43,895 You see, 780 00:38:44,095 --> 00:38:47,053 I thought I was too smart 781 00:38:47,095 --> 00:38:48,887 to believe in God, 782 00:38:48,929 --> 00:38:48,729 that He 783 00:38:48,929 --> 00:38:52,179 was only for the needy. 784 00:38:52,221 --> 00:38:52,021 But, after 785 00:38:52,221 --> 00:38:54,887 a recent health scare, 786 00:38:54,929 --> 00:38:54,729 I felt this nudging 787 00:38:54,929 --> 00:38:59,221 in the back of my mind... 788 00:38:59,262 --> 00:39:02,554 the presence of God. 789 00:39:02,596 --> 00:39:04,180 And, you know what? 790 00:39:04,222 --> 00:39:09,013 I was no longer afraid. 791 00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:08,855 Some religious figures 792 00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:12,055 spout hateful rhetoric 793 00:39:12,097 --> 00:39:11,897 and try to force 794 00:39:12,097 --> 00:39:15,805 a monopoly on the truth. 795 00:39:15,846 --> 00:39:19,097 But the only truth is love. 796 00:39:19,138 --> 00:39:23,515 The only sin is denying love. 797 00:39:23,556 --> 00:39:25,847 Stop hating. 798 00:39:25,889 --> 00:39:28,473 Start loving. 799 00:39:38,224 --> 00:39:40,182 You gonna join us? 800 00:39:40,224 --> 00:39:40,024 Uh, yeah. 801 00:39:40,224 --> 00:39:42,890 Just one second. 802 00:39:48,057 --> 00:39:50,474 What? 803 00:39:50,516 --> 00:39:50,316 Uh, you're really 804 00:39:50,516 --> 00:39:52,725 combing through that thing, 805 00:39:52,725 --> 00:39:52,925 aren't you? 806 00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:55,433 Look, my whole life, 807 00:39:55,475 --> 00:39:56,375 I thought the Bible 808 00:39:56,575 --> 00:39:57,475 was full of hate, 809 00:39:57,517 --> 00:39:59,891 and it's not. 810 00:39:59,933 --> 00:40:01,062 There's a lot 811 00:40:01,262 --> 00:40:02,392 of love in here. 812 00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,458 So, your interest in the Bible 813 00:40:04,658 --> 00:40:06,684 is more than just research? 814 00:40:06,725 --> 00:40:08,417 Well, there's a lot 815 00:40:08,617 --> 00:40:09,363 of Christian roots 816 00:40:09,563 --> 00:40:10,309 in my family... 817 00:40:10,351 --> 00:40:12,643 my mom, my aunts, and... 818 00:40:12,685 --> 00:40:14,643 Just curious. 819 00:40:14,685 --> 00:40:17,809 Your aunts disowned you 820 00:40:17,809 --> 00:40:18,438 when you came out. 821 00:40:18,638 --> 00:40:19,267 That's not family. 822 00:40:19,309 --> 00:40:19,109 I'm all 823 00:40:19,309 --> 00:40:21,267 for curiosity, but... 824 00:40:21,309 --> 00:40:21,109 Look, I just feel 825 00:40:21,309 --> 00:40:25,185 like something saved me, 826 00:40:25,227 --> 00:40:25,027 shook me, 827 00:40:25,227 --> 00:40:27,477 and woke me up. 828 00:40:28,977 --> 00:40:31,686 And that someone is God? 829 00:40:33,977 --> 00:40:36,560 Mike, He didn't save you, 830 00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:36,402 because you 831 00:40:36,602 --> 00:40:38,810 were never dying. 832 00:40:41,728 --> 00:40:43,561 Okay. 833 00:40:47,103 --> 00:40:49,144 "Whoever finds their life 834 00:40:49,144 --> 00:40:48,986 will lose it, 835 00:40:49,186 --> 00:40:50,836 and whoever loses their life 836 00:40:51,036 --> 00:40:52,687 for my sake will find it." 837 00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:59,354 "Whoever finds their life 838 00:40:59,354 --> 00:40:59,196 will lose it, 839 00:40:59,396 --> 00:41:01,754 and whoever loses their life 840 00:41:01,954 --> 00:41:04,312 for my sake will find it." 841 00:41:04,354 --> 00:41:04,154 "Whoever finds 842 00:41:04,354 --> 00:41:06,729 their life will lose it, 843 00:41:06,770 --> 00:41:08,566 and whoever loses their life 844 00:41:08,766 --> 00:41:10,562 for my sake will find it." 845 00:41:17,355 --> 00:41:17,155 Don't see many people 846 00:41:17,355 --> 00:41:19,730 flaunting that out in the open. 847 00:41:19,771 --> 00:41:22,105 Oh... 848 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:21,946 I've seen you 849 00:41:22,146 --> 00:41:24,313 reading out here before, 850 00:41:24,355 --> 00:41:24,155 and I thought maybe 851 00:41:24,355 --> 00:41:27,523 you'd wanna come to my church. 852 00:41:27,564 --> 00:41:29,606 Any Sunday. 853 00:41:29,648 --> 00:41:31,939 Just to check it out. 854 00:41:31,981 --> 00:41:36,106 See what the Mormon religion 855 00:41:36,106 --> 00:41:35,947 has to offer. 856 00:41:36,147 --> 00:41:38,731 The Gospel teaches us 857 00:41:38,772 --> 00:41:38,572 that we are 858 00:41:38,772 --> 00:41:41,855 the spirit children 859 00:41:41,897 --> 00:41:43,898 of heavenly parents. 860 00:41:43,940 --> 00:41:46,940 Now, many people ask, 861 00:41:46,982 --> 00:41:46,782 are we like 862 00:41:46,982 --> 00:41:50,357 other Christians? 863 00:41:50,399 --> 00:41:52,357 Why, of course we are. 864 00:41:52,399 --> 00:41:52,199 We believe 865 00:41:52,399 --> 00:41:54,773 in Jesus Christ, 866 00:41:54,815 --> 00:41:54,615 and we believe 867 00:41:54,815 --> 00:41:57,856 in life after death. 868 00:41:57,898 --> 00:42:03,316 And everyone is welcome 869 00:42:03,316 --> 00:42:05,091 at the LDS church. 870 00:42:05,291 --> 00:42:06,078 Christ's atonement 871 00:42:06,278 --> 00:42:03,158 allows mankind 872 00:42:03,358 --> 00:42:07,066 to be safe from their sins, 873 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:08,945 and to return to live with God 874 00:42:09,145 --> 00:42:10,983 and their loved ones in heaven. 875 00:42:11,024 --> 00:42:12,486 Uh, did you grow up 876 00:42:12,686 --> 00:42:14,149 with any kind of faith? 877 00:42:14,191 --> 00:42:13,991 Not really. 878 00:42:14,191 --> 00:42:17,025 My mother was Christian, 879 00:42:17,067 --> 00:42:18,571 but she didn't really take 880 00:42:18,771 --> 00:42:20,275 me or my sister to church. 881 00:42:20,317 --> 00:42:20,117 And my father 882 00:42:20,317 --> 00:42:23,359 was a Berkeley hippie 883 00:42:23,401 --> 00:42:24,905 kind of agnostic 884 00:42:25,105 --> 00:42:26,609 or even atheist. 885 00:42:26,651 --> 00:42:26,451 They were 886 00:42:26,651 --> 00:42:28,609 very good people, 887 00:42:28,651 --> 00:42:33,443 and I know I'll see them 888 00:42:33,443 --> 00:42:34,572 again in heaven. 889 00:42:34,772 --> 00:42:35,901 My mom passed away 890 00:42:35,901 --> 00:42:36,676 as well, 891 00:42:36,876 --> 00:42:35,743 so I know 892 00:42:35,943 --> 00:42:37,652 how hard that is. 893 00:42:37,694 --> 00:42:37,494 I was... 894 00:42:37,694 --> 00:42:40,110 I was so afraid, 895 00:42:40,151 --> 00:42:42,360 and angry, you know? 896 00:42:42,402 --> 00:42:44,402 Yeah, me too. 897 00:42:44,443 --> 00:42:45,385 Um, it's really hard 898 00:42:45,585 --> 00:42:46,528 to deal with death 899 00:42:46,569 --> 00:42:48,114 when you don't know 900 00:42:48,314 --> 00:42:49,860 where you're going. 901 00:42:49,902 --> 00:42:51,281 But once you do, 902 00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:52,860 then you have peace, 903 00:42:52,902 --> 00:42:52,702 and you realize 904 00:42:52,902 --> 00:42:56,152 that God's not to blame. 905 00:42:56,194 --> 00:42:57,052 Right. 906 00:42:57,252 --> 00:42:58,111 Yeah. 907 00:42:59,403 --> 00:43:02,112 Katherine. 908 00:43:02,153 --> 00:43:04,737 Nice to meet you. 909 00:43:04,778 --> 00:43:06,445 You too. 910 00:43:09,278 --> 00:43:11,737 She's single, FYI. 911 00:43:11,778 --> 00:43:14,070 FY... 912 00:43:14,112 --> 00:43:14,907 What, you think 913 00:43:15,107 --> 00:43:15,903 she likes me? 914 00:43:15,945 --> 00:43:15,745 Yeah. Yeah. 915 00:43:15,945 --> 00:43:18,571 It seemed like it. 916 00:43:18,613 --> 00:43:19,825 But don't worry. 917 00:43:20,025 --> 00:43:20,531 There's plenty 918 00:43:20,731 --> 00:43:21,238 of single ladies 919 00:43:21,279 --> 00:43:24,196 looking for a husband. 920 00:43:24,196 --> 00:43:24,038 Oh... 921 00:43:24,238 --> 00:43:26,138 I wasn't even thinking 922 00:43:26,338 --> 00:43:28,238 about that kind of thing. 923 00:43:28,279 --> 00:43:29,783 Oh, well, maybe it's 924 00:43:29,983 --> 00:43:30,635 something you should 925 00:43:30,835 --> 00:43:31,488 start thinking about. 926 00:43:31,530 --> 00:43:32,804 I can get you in touch 927 00:43:33,004 --> 00:43:34,280 with her if you want. 928 00:43:35,572 --> 00:43:37,364 Oh, um... 929 00:43:37,406 --> 00:43:39,656 If you're interested. 930 00:43:41,780 --> 00:43:43,447 Sure. Um, I don't know. 931 00:43:43,447 --> 00:43:43,289 Yeah? 932 00:43:43,489 --> 00:43:44,451 Okay. Whatever. 933 00:43:44,651 --> 00:43:45,614 Yeah. Okay. 934 00:43:45,656 --> 00:43:46,451 All right. 935 00:43:46,651 --> 00:43:47,447 Okay. Thanks. 936 00:43:47,489 --> 00:43:48,305 Embarrassing me 937 00:43:48,505 --> 00:43:49,322 a little bit. 938 00:44:05,865 --> 00:44:08,574 ♪♪ 939 00:44:14,991 --> 00:44:14,791 940 00:44:14,991 --> 00:44:14,791 Welcome back 941 00:44:14,991 --> 00:44:16,949 to New Beginnings, 942 00:44:16,991 --> 00:44:16,791 and thank you for listening 943 00:44:16,991 --> 00:44:19,574 to our continued conversation 944 00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:19,416 about the true path 945 00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:21,992 to heaven. 946 00:44:22,033 --> 00:44:21,833 Dr. Nikolosa, how would you 947 00:44:22,033 --> 00:44:25,325 respond to other Christians 948 00:44:25,367 --> 00:44:25,167 who disagree 949 00:44:25,367 --> 00:44:27,575 with your angle? 950 00:44:27,617 --> 00:44:27,417 951 00:44:27,617 --> 00:44:29,183 Look, all I'm trying to do 952 00:44:29,383 --> 00:44:30,950 is help people. 953 00:44:30,992 --> 00:44:32,992 It just pains me so much 954 00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:32,833 when I hear 955 00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:32,833 so-called Christians 956 00:44:33,033 --> 00:44:35,409 side with the left 957 00:44:35,450 --> 00:44:35,250 on issues 958 00:44:35,450 --> 00:44:37,784 such as homosexuality. 959 00:44:37,826 --> 00:44:37,626 Now, I'm not 960 00:44:37,826 --> 00:44:40,576 condoning hate. 961 00:44:40,618 --> 00:44:40,418 In fact, 962 00:44:40,618 --> 00:44:43,410 this is about love. 963 00:44:43,451 --> 00:44:43,251 Choosing a gay identity 964 00:44:43,451 --> 00:44:45,618 will condemn you 965 00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:45,460 to an eternity 966 00:44:45,660 --> 00:44:47,618 of suffering, 967 00:44:47,660 --> 00:44:48,976 and I wanna save people 968 00:44:49,176 --> 00:44:50,493 from that. 969 00:44:50,535 --> 00:44:50,335 Whether it's abortion 970 00:44:50,535 --> 00:44:53,076 or adultery 971 00:44:53,118 --> 00:44:52,918 or accepting religions 972 00:44:53,118 --> 00:44:56,452 other than Christianity, 973 00:44:56,494 --> 00:44:58,744 you must obey God's law, 974 00:44:58,785 --> 00:44:58,585 or you will not be allowed 975 00:44:58,785 --> 00:45:01,494 into His kingdom. 976 00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:06,494 ♪♪ 977 00:45:28,287 --> 00:45:30,954 ♪♪ 978 00:45:41,497 --> 00:45:42,376 I'm not saying 979 00:45:42,576 --> 00:45:43,455 that it's... 980 00:45:43,497 --> 00:45:45,539 I'm not saying that it's wrong, 981 00:45:45,539 --> 00:45:45,739 I'm just saying that 982 00:45:45,939 --> 00:45:45,380 over the course 983 00:45:45,580 --> 00:45:47,622 of thousands of years, 984 00:45:47,664 --> 00:45:49,397 people with an agenda 985 00:45:49,597 --> 00:45:51,330 have made Christianity 986 00:45:51,330 --> 00:45:51,172 what it is today. 987 00:45:51,372 --> 00:45:54,497 Yeah, but the original message 988 00:45:54,497 --> 00:45:55,418 is still the same. 989 00:45:55,618 --> 00:45:56,539 It's about love. 990 00:45:58,914 --> 00:45:58,714 You know, I would've 991 00:45:58,914 --> 00:46:01,872 never pegged you as a Buddhist. 992 00:46:01,914 --> 00:46:05,248 Why? 'Cause I don't look 993 00:46:05,248 --> 00:46:05,448 a certain way? 994 00:46:05,648 --> 00:46:07,498 No, I... 995 00:46:07,540 --> 00:46:09,231 I don't know why 996 00:46:09,431 --> 00:46:10,177 I just said that. 997 00:46:10,377 --> 00:46:11,123 I'm just kidding you. 998 00:46:11,164 --> 00:46:10,964 Meditation... 999 00:46:11,164 --> 00:46:14,332 People get weird in their head 1000 00:46:14,332 --> 00:46:15,253 about meditation. 1001 00:46:15,453 --> 00:46:16,374 They think it's weird 1002 00:46:16,374 --> 00:46:16,216 or hippie... 1003 00:46:16,416 --> 00:46:16,216 I think it's about 1004 00:46:16,416 --> 00:46:20,457 developing mindfulness, 1005 00:46:20,457 --> 00:46:20,299 you know? 1006 00:46:20,499 --> 00:46:21,378 It's about living 1007 00:46:21,578 --> 00:46:22,457 moment to moment. 1008 00:46:22,499 --> 00:46:22,299 And at a deeper level, 1009 00:46:22,499 --> 00:46:26,457 it's about knowing yourself. 1010 00:46:26,499 --> 00:46:26,299 That's why 1011 00:46:26,499 --> 00:46:28,107 I started volunteering 1012 00:46:28,307 --> 00:46:29,916 at the Buddhist Center. 1013 00:46:29,958 --> 00:46:32,583 They have classes on Friday. 1014 00:46:32,583 --> 00:46:32,425 You should come. 1015 00:46:32,625 --> 00:46:34,608 I have to go out of town 1016 00:46:34,808 --> 00:46:36,791 for this speaking thing. 1017 00:46:36,833 --> 00:46:36,633 What kind 1018 00:46:36,833 --> 00:46:39,166 of speaking thing? 1019 00:46:39,208 --> 00:46:41,958 It's about gay youth 1020 00:46:41,958 --> 00:46:42,879 in America. 1021 00:46:43,079 --> 00:46:41,800 No way. 1022 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000 That's awesome. 1023 00:47:10,210 --> 00:47:11,960 1024 00:47:25,128 --> 00:47:27,211 Welcome to our very first panel 1025 00:47:27,253 --> 00:47:29,211 on being young and gay 1026 00:47:29,211 --> 00:47:29,053 in America. 1027 00:47:29,253 --> 00:47:31,877 Joining us is Judy Shepard, 1028 00:47:31,919 --> 00:47:31,719 president of 1029 00:47:31,919 --> 00:47:34,504 the Matthew Shepard Foundation, 1030 00:47:34,546 --> 00:47:37,087 dedicated to working 1031 00:47:37,087 --> 00:47:36,929 towards causes 1032 00:47:37,129 --> 00:47:38,383 championed by her son, 1033 00:47:38,583 --> 00:47:39,837 Matthew, during his life. 1034 00:47:39,878 --> 00:47:41,878 Thank you for joining us. 1035 00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:46,720 Michael Glatze, 1036 00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,547 former editor of XY magazine, 1037 00:47:50,588 --> 00:47:52,696 recipient of Equality Forum's 1038 00:47:52,896 --> 00:47:55,005 National Role Model Award 1039 00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:54,846 as well as 1040 00:47:55,046 --> 00:47:57,338 a LAMBDA's Literary Award 1041 00:47:57,380 --> 00:47:59,338 for XY's Survival Guide, 1042 00:47:59,380 --> 00:47:59,180 participant in the award-winning 1043 00:47:59,380 --> 00:48:03,463 documentary Jim in Bold, 1044 00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:03,305 and cofounder 1045 00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:05,797 of Young Gay Americans, 1046 00:48:05,839 --> 00:48:05,639 which is now 1047 00:48:05,839 --> 00:48:07,797 a full-fledged magazine. 1048 00:48:14,589 --> 00:48:18,423 What does being gay 1049 00:48:18,423 --> 00:48:18,264 mean to you? 1050 00:48:18,464 --> 00:48:18,264 Gay doesn't mean the same thing 1051 00:48:18,464 --> 00:48:23,340 that it meant 20 years ago. 1052 00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:23,182 And it's more important 1053 00:48:23,382 --> 00:48:26,716 now than ever 1054 00:48:26,757 --> 00:48:26,557 to make allies and, 1055 00:48:26,757 --> 00:48:30,257 uh, make alliances 1056 00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:30,098 both inside and outside 1057 00:48:30,298 --> 00:48:34,007 the gay community. 1058 00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:38,016 Gay doesn't mean 1059 00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:40,799 the same thing 1060 00:48:40,841 --> 00:48:43,133 that it meant 20 years ago. 1061 00:48:43,174 --> 00:48:45,133 It's not about... 1062 00:49:19,427 --> 00:49:21,427 Baby... 1063 00:49:22,843 --> 00:49:24,844 No. 1064 00:49:26,802 --> 00:49:28,927 I have to walk the dog. 1065 00:50:06,763 --> 00:50:08,388 Hey. 1066 00:50:12,347 --> 00:50:14,681 What are you doing? 1067 00:50:15,723 --> 00:50:18,222 I need some space. 1068 00:50:19,597 --> 00:50:19,397 Mike... 1069 00:50:19,597 --> 00:50:21,556 Look, I just... 1070 00:50:21,597 --> 00:50:23,539 I need some time 1071 00:50:23,739 --> 00:50:21,397 to figure this out, 1072 00:50:21,597 --> 00:50:25,681 to see where this is taking me. 1073 00:50:27,390 --> 00:50:28,519 Why can't you come 1074 00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:29,848 to me for help? 1075 00:50:29,889 --> 00:50:30,768 We have to talk 1076 00:50:30,968 --> 00:50:31,848 about this before... 1077 00:50:31,889 --> 00:50:33,848 Look, I just... 1078 00:50:33,889 --> 00:50:34,789 I need to get away 1079 00:50:34,989 --> 00:50:35,889 from this life. 1080 00:50:37,265 --> 00:50:39,889 Our life? 1081 00:50:39,889 --> 00:50:39,731 Yes. 1082 00:50:39,931 --> 00:50:41,623 What exactly is it 1083 00:50:41,823 --> 00:50:39,731 about our life 1084 00:50:39,931 --> 00:50:43,516 that you need to get away from? 1085 00:50:43,558 --> 00:50:44,291 Being gay? 1086 00:50:44,491 --> 00:50:45,224 I don't know. 1087 00:50:45,266 --> 00:50:46,582 I don't know! 1088 00:50:46,782 --> 00:50:48,099 Okay, uh... 1089 00:50:48,141 --> 00:50:49,890 Are you attracted to women? 1090 00:50:52,016 --> 00:50:53,124 Because if that's the case, 1091 00:50:53,324 --> 00:50:54,433 then fine. Go explore... 1092 00:50:54,474 --> 00:50:56,061 I just wanna be with 1093 00:50:56,261 --> 00:50:54,274 my parents in heaven. 1094 00:50:54,474 --> 00:50:57,849 Is that so hard to understand? 1095 00:50:57,890 --> 00:50:59,850 Can you even hear yourself 1096 00:50:59,850 --> 00:51:00,937 right now? 1097 00:51:01,137 --> 00:50:59,691 What happened 1098 00:50:59,891 --> 00:51:02,225 to the misinterpretation 1099 00:51:02,225 --> 00:51:02,067 of the Bible? 1100 00:51:02,267 --> 00:51:04,017 It's a fucking book, Mike! 1101 00:51:04,058 --> 00:51:06,350 I read the Bible the same way 1102 00:51:06,350 --> 00:51:06,550 I read anything else... 1103 00:51:06,750 --> 00:51:07,200 with an open mind 1104 00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:07,850 and an open heart. 1105 00:51:07,891 --> 00:51:07,691 Oh, is that 1106 00:51:07,891 --> 00:51:09,726 what you call this? 1107 00:51:09,767 --> 00:51:11,767 'Cause the way you're talking 1108 00:51:11,767 --> 00:51:12,896 doesn't exactly sound 1109 00:51:13,096 --> 00:51:14,225 very fucking open-minded. 1110 00:51:14,267 --> 00:51:16,226 This relationship is just... 1111 00:51:16,268 --> 00:51:16,068 It's developed 1112 00:51:16,268 --> 00:51:18,393 into something unhealthy. 1113 00:51:18,435 --> 00:51:21,809 What does that even mean? 1114 00:51:21,851 --> 00:51:23,809 Tyler? 1115 00:51:23,851 --> 00:51:26,393 You were just as interested 1116 00:51:26,393 --> 00:51:27,439 in that as I was. 1117 00:51:27,639 --> 00:51:28,685 No. I just wanted you 1118 00:51:28,685 --> 00:51:28,527 to be happy 1119 00:51:28,727 --> 00:51:29,543 because I was afraid 1120 00:51:29,743 --> 00:51:30,560 you were gonna leave. 1121 00:51:30,601 --> 00:51:30,401 I was never 1122 00:51:30,601 --> 00:51:32,127 gonna leave, Mike. 1123 00:51:32,327 --> 00:51:33,852 I've stood by you. 1124 00:51:33,893 --> 00:51:36,269 I've held your hand 1125 00:51:36,269 --> 00:51:33,693 while you were 1126 00:51:33,893 --> 00:51:36,269 so terrified of dying 1127 00:51:36,310 --> 00:51:38,085 that you created illnesses 1128 00:51:38,285 --> 00:51:40,060 that didn't even exist. 1129 00:51:40,102 --> 00:51:41,418 The truth is that 1130 00:51:41,618 --> 00:51:42,935 I was living a lie. 1131 00:51:42,977 --> 00:51:44,356 The truth is that 1132 00:51:44,556 --> 00:51:45,935 God loves us... 1133 00:51:45,977 --> 00:51:48,186 Shut the fuck up! 1134 00:51:52,603 --> 00:51:54,186 Okay. 1135 00:51:54,228 --> 00:51:55,853 Wait. 1136 00:52:03,771 --> 00:52:06,104 Please don't go. 1137 00:52:11,354 --> 00:52:13,730 Where are you going? 1138 00:52:21,522 --> 00:52:21,322 The thing that 1139 00:52:21,522 --> 00:52:24,522 will really kill you... 1140 00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:26,489 is repressing 1141 00:52:26,689 --> 00:52:29,731 who you truly are. 1142 00:52:31,272 --> 00:52:32,567 That's what you should 1143 00:52:32,767 --> 00:52:34,063 really be afraid of. 1144 00:53:43,694 --> 00:53:46,943 So, he just left this here 1145 00:53:46,943 --> 00:53:47,143 out in the open? 1146 00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:34,871 1147 00:54:35,071 --> 00:54:37,030 I have come to a decision 1148 00:54:37,071 --> 00:54:38,863 that will be shocking 1149 00:54:38,904 --> 00:54:38,704 to anyone 1150 00:54:38,904 --> 00:54:41,155 I used to relate to. 1151 00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:43,456 The presence of God 1152 00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:47,822 has grown strong in my life. 1153 00:54:47,864 --> 00:54:47,664 He told me 1154 00:54:47,864 --> 00:54:51,364 that my panic attacks 1155 00:54:51,406 --> 00:54:53,905 were caused by my shallow, 1156 00:54:53,947 --> 00:54:57,281 sinful lifestyle. 1157 00:54:57,322 --> 00:54:59,865 I've come to the realization 1158 00:54:59,906 --> 00:55:02,782 that identifying as gay 1159 00:55:02,823 --> 00:55:02,623 prevents you from finding 1160 00:55:02,823 --> 00:55:06,741 your true self within. 1161 00:55:06,782 --> 00:55:09,073 And we must be our true selves 1162 00:55:09,115 --> 00:55:08,915 in order to join God 1163 00:55:09,115 --> 00:55:13,157 in His kingdom. 1164 00:55:13,198 --> 00:55:17,116 Therefore, I, Michael Glatze, 1165 00:55:17,158 --> 00:55:19,533 no longer identify as gay. 1166 00:56:47,996 --> 00:56:49,372 1167 00:56:53,664 --> 00:56:55,664 1168 00:57:33,541 --> 00:57:35,541 Why did you do it? 1169 00:57:39,250 --> 00:57:42,292 Gay activist goes straight? 1170 00:57:42,333 --> 00:57:43,650 You gave the anti-gay right 1171 00:57:43,850 --> 00:57:45,167 the story of their dreams. 1172 00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:47,170 I don't know why. 1173 00:57:47,370 --> 00:57:49,333 I don't know. 1174 00:57:49,375 --> 00:57:52,459 Who pushed you? 1175 00:57:52,459 --> 00:57:52,300 No one. 1176 00:57:52,500 --> 00:57:53,588 I just wanted 1177 00:57:53,788 --> 00:57:54,876 to tell my story. 1178 00:57:54,917 --> 00:57:55,942 Look, I think 1179 00:57:56,142 --> 00:57:57,168 this all happened 1180 00:57:57,209 --> 00:57:58,192 because God needed 1181 00:57:58,392 --> 00:57:59,376 to teach me a lesson. 1182 00:57:59,418 --> 00:58:00,964 That's why I'm here... 1183 00:58:01,164 --> 00:58:02,710 to make it better. 1184 00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:09,760 Meditation is 1185 00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,753 a way of slowing down 1186 00:58:12,794 --> 00:58:15,753 and developing kindness 1187 00:58:15,753 --> 00:58:15,594 towards yourself. 1188 00:58:15,794 --> 00:58:18,294 Through mindfulness practice, 1189 00:58:18,335 --> 00:58:21,502 we develop strength of mind, 1190 00:58:21,544 --> 00:58:24,127 we become more present, 1191 00:58:24,169 --> 00:58:27,253 and we learn to appreciate 1192 00:58:27,253 --> 00:58:27,453 our world. 1193 00:58:32,086 --> 00:58:31,886 1194 00:58:32,086 --> 00:58:35,878 God works in mysterious ways. 1195 00:58:35,919 --> 00:58:37,919 He has sent me to a place 1196 00:58:37,961 --> 00:58:37,761 where I can get away 1197 00:58:37,961 --> 00:58:40,504 from the physical world 1198 00:58:40,546 --> 00:58:40,346 so that I can focus 1199 00:58:40,546 --> 00:58:43,379 on my true self... 1200 00:58:43,421 --> 00:58:46,254 a happier, healthier man, 1201 00:58:46,296 --> 00:58:49,379 free of unnatural desires. 1202 00:58:57,255 --> 00:58:57,055 At first, 1203 00:58:57,255 --> 00:58:59,380 I didn't understand 1204 00:58:59,422 --> 00:59:01,672 why God would send a Christian 1205 00:59:01,714 --> 00:59:04,422 to a Buddhist retreat. 1206 00:59:04,464 --> 00:59:04,264 But I have faith 1207 00:59:04,464 --> 00:59:07,672 in His plan for me. 1208 00:59:14,423 --> 00:59:16,839 Desire is powerful, 1209 00:59:16,881 --> 00:59:19,757 and God is testing me, 1210 00:59:19,798 --> 00:59:19,598 but I refuse 1211 00:59:19,798 --> 00:59:24,006 to give in to temptation. 1212 00:59:29,591 --> 00:59:31,716 I've come to the realization 1213 00:59:31,758 --> 00:59:31,558 that God wants me 1214 00:59:31,758 --> 00:59:34,758 to use meditation 1215 00:59:34,799 --> 00:59:34,599 to rid myself 1216 00:59:34,799 --> 00:59:38,340 of abnormal desires. 1217 00:59:39,591 --> 00:59:43,090 God gave Buddha the light 1218 00:59:43,090 --> 00:59:43,290 to be Buddha. 1219 00:59:43,490 --> 00:59:44,841 He did. 1220 00:59:44,883 --> 00:59:46,924 Michael, what are you 1221 00:59:46,924 --> 00:59:48,116 talking about? 1222 00:59:48,316 --> 00:59:46,766 I just want us 1223 00:59:46,966 --> 00:59:49,508 to be on the right path 1224 00:59:49,550 --> 00:59:51,175 for our future, 1225 00:59:51,216 --> 00:59:52,574 for our health, 1226 00:59:52,774 --> 00:59:54,133 for the afterlife. 1227 00:59:54,175 --> 00:59:57,633 I am on the right path, 1228 00:59:57,633 --> 00:59:57,833 okay? My path. 1229 01:00:07,925 --> 01:00:08,971 Michael, I... 1230 01:00:09,171 --> 01:00:10,217 I'm sorry. 1231 01:00:12,925 --> 01:00:14,925 I'm sorry, Nico. 1232 01:00:33,344 --> 01:00:37,720 It's the same kind of strength 1233 01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:33,144 you need to... 1234 01:00:33,344 --> 01:00:37,720 to clear your mind. 1235 01:00:37,762 --> 01:00:40,136 This is... We just... 1236 01:00:40,178 --> 01:00:39,978 We need to find 1237 01:00:40,178 --> 01:00:42,553 that strength to fight 1238 01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:42,395 what we both know 1239 01:00:42,595 --> 01:00:46,303 in our hearts is wrong. 1240 01:00:46,344 --> 01:00:48,928 We just have to fight it. 1241 01:00:48,928 --> 01:00:49,128 Stop, Michael. Stop. 1242 01:00:49,328 --> 01:00:50,679 No. I mean... 1243 01:00:59,887 --> 01:01:02,262 Michael, you're confused. 1244 01:01:02,304 --> 01:01:03,663 You're very confused, 1245 01:01:03,863 --> 01:01:05,221 and it's at my expense. 1246 01:01:32,556 --> 01:01:32,356 1247 01:01:32,556 --> 01:01:33,997 People have been asking 1248 01:01:34,197 --> 01:01:35,640 how I am... 1249 01:01:35,682 --> 01:01:37,640 some out of support, 1250 01:01:37,682 --> 01:01:37,482 others who think 1251 01:01:37,682 --> 01:01:40,807 I've reconsidered. 1252 01:01:40,848 --> 01:01:42,890 I've come to the realization 1253 01:01:42,931 --> 01:01:45,265 that Bennett represents soul, 1254 01:01:45,307 --> 01:01:47,766 Tyler represents body, 1255 01:01:47,807 --> 01:01:50,474 Nico represents mind. 1256 01:01:50,515 --> 01:01:54,349 Father, Son, Holy Ghost. 1257 01:01:54,391 --> 01:01:54,191 I guess God needed me 1258 01:01:54,391 --> 01:01:56,683 the complete the Trinity 1259 01:01:56,725 --> 01:01:59,516 in order to move on. 1260 01:01:59,558 --> 01:01:59,358 So I'm ready to set 1261 01:01:59,558 --> 01:02:01,932 the record straight. 1262 01:02:01,974 --> 01:02:04,141 I was a heterosexual person 1263 01:02:04,183 --> 01:02:06,475 with a homosexual problem, 1264 01:02:06,516 --> 01:02:06,316 and I took care 1265 01:02:06,516 --> 01:02:09,225 of that problem. 1266 01:02:09,267 --> 01:02:11,392 I have not reconsidered. 1267 01:02:12,933 --> 01:02:16,267 A good number of people 1268 01:02:16,267 --> 01:02:16,109 have come forward 1269 01:02:16,309 --> 01:02:17,938 and expressed their concern 1270 01:02:18,138 --> 01:02:18,853 about your being involved 1271 01:02:19,053 --> 01:02:19,768 with this organization. 1272 01:02:19,809 --> 01:02:21,354 This center is supposed 1273 01:02:21,554 --> 01:02:23,101 to accept everyone. 1274 01:02:23,143 --> 01:02:24,934 Yes, and we do. 1275 01:02:24,976 --> 01:02:25,876 We welcome people 1276 01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:26,976 of all beliefs. 1277 01:02:27,018 --> 01:02:30,185 But we don't tolerate hate. 1278 01:02:30,226 --> 01:02:33,226 I don't hate anybody. 1279 01:02:33,268 --> 01:02:35,147 Michael, you've written 1280 01:02:35,347 --> 01:02:36,186 what some would call 1281 01:02:36,386 --> 01:02:37,226 very hateful things. 1282 01:02:37,268 --> 01:02:40,269 Those are my beliefs. 1283 01:02:41,686 --> 01:02:43,478 Are you okay? 1284 01:02:43,519 --> 01:02:45,603 Yeah. 1285 01:02:45,644 --> 01:02:47,977 Are you okay? 1286 01:02:49,852 --> 01:02:51,352 I don't know... 1287 01:02:51,394 --> 01:02:52,106 I don't understand 1288 01:02:52,306 --> 01:02:53,019 what has changed, 1289 01:02:53,061 --> 01:02:55,228 but I, uh... 1290 01:02:55,270 --> 01:02:57,895 Here we practice compassion. 1291 01:02:58,895 --> 01:03:00,895 And I'm just... 1292 01:03:00,936 --> 01:03:02,978 I'm afraid this isn't 1293 01:03:02,978 --> 01:03:02,820 gonna work out. 1294 01:03:03,020 --> 01:03:05,145 So, because I'm Christian 1295 01:03:05,187 --> 01:03:06,316 and I expressed 1296 01:03:06,516 --> 01:03:07,645 my opinions, 1297 01:03:07,687 --> 01:03:10,395 I have to leave? 1298 01:03:10,437 --> 01:03:12,646 So messed up. 1299 01:03:51,106 --> 01:03:53,065 That's really everything? 1300 01:03:53,106 --> 01:03:54,256 Your whole life 1301 01:03:54,456 --> 01:03:55,607 is on that one bag? 1302 01:03:55,648 --> 01:03:57,648 Yeah. 1303 01:04:01,191 --> 01:04:00,991 Do you think 1304 01:04:01,191 --> 01:04:03,857 you'll stay here? 1305 01:04:03,899 --> 01:04:05,174 I mean, San Francisco 1306 01:04:05,374 --> 01:04:06,649 can't be the best place 1307 01:04:06,691 --> 01:04:08,775 for an... 1308 01:04:08,816 --> 01:04:11,066 e... ex-gay. 1309 01:04:11,107 --> 01:04:13,691 I'm not an ex-gay. 1310 01:04:13,733 --> 01:04:16,776 I'm just me. 1311 01:04:16,817 --> 01:04:16,617 Honestly, 1312 01:04:16,817 --> 01:04:20,150 I thought you'd be happy. 1313 01:04:20,192 --> 01:04:21,071 I mean, you never 1314 01:04:21,271 --> 01:04:22,150 really approved. 1315 01:04:22,192 --> 01:04:24,484 That's not true. 1316 01:04:24,525 --> 01:04:25,841 Then why haven't 1317 01:04:26,041 --> 01:04:27,358 we been close? 1318 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:27,200 I mean, 1319 01:04:27,400 --> 01:04:29,567 you're my sister. 1320 01:04:29,609 --> 01:04:32,068 We're supposed to be there 1321 01:04:32,068 --> 01:04:32,268 for each other. 1322 01:04:33,901 --> 01:04:36,234 We can be close now. 1323 01:04:36,276 --> 01:04:38,276 I'm glad you're here. 1324 01:04:39,485 --> 01:04:42,735 And I want you to be happy, 1325 01:04:42,777 --> 01:04:44,777 loving whomever. 1326 01:04:46,444 --> 01:04:47,739 Yeah? 1327 01:04:47,939 --> 01:04:49,235 Yeah. 1328 01:05:47,072 --> 01:05:49,280 ♪♪ 1329 01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:36,908 I'm sorry. 1330 01:06:36,949 --> 01:06:39,534 No... No, I'm sorry. Uh... 1331 01:06:39,534 --> 01:06:39,376 What? 1332 01:06:39,576 --> 01:06:41,534 What happened? 1333 01:06:41,534 --> 01:06:41,376 I can't. 1334 01:06:41,576 --> 01:06:43,743 Um, it's not you. It's... 1335 01:06:43,785 --> 01:06:44,767 I'm sorry. 1336 01:06:44,967 --> 01:06:45,950 I'm so sorry. 1337 01:07:25,412 --> 01:07:28,037 1338 01:07:32,704 --> 01:07:34,496 Olly, it's okay. 1339 01:07:34,537 --> 01:07:36,870 It's okay, it's okay. 1340 01:07:42,913 --> 01:07:44,913 Hello? 1341 01:07:52,455 --> 01:07:54,455 Michael. 1342 01:07:55,455 --> 01:07:57,456 Bennett. 1343 01:07:58,997 --> 01:08:01,664 Where are you? 1344 01:08:03,081 --> 01:08:05,081 Are you okay? 1345 01:08:07,955 --> 01:08:11,289 Michael? 1346 01:08:11,289 --> 01:08:11,131 I have to go. 1347 01:08:11,331 --> 01:08:12,460 Wh-Why did you call me, 1348 01:08:12,660 --> 01:08:13,791 Michael? 1349 01:08:24,582 --> 01:08:26,582 To my friends who are trapped 1350 01:08:26,624 --> 01:08:28,582 in homosexuality: 1351 01:08:28,624 --> 01:08:28,424 I wanna thank you 1352 01:08:28,624 --> 01:08:31,333 for your kind comments 1353 01:08:31,374 --> 01:08:33,416 and keen observations 1354 01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:34,858 regarding my story 1355 01:08:35,058 --> 01:08:36,458 and my revelation 1356 01:08:36,500 --> 01:08:39,041 that I am no longer homosexual 1357 01:08:39,083 --> 01:08:41,750 and am now heterosexual. 1358 01:08:41,792 --> 01:08:43,750 The gay identity 1359 01:08:43,792 --> 01:08:45,026 has been packaged 1360 01:08:45,226 --> 01:08:46,459 and fed to you, 1361 01:08:46,501 --> 01:08:48,584 and if you identify as gay, 1362 01:08:48,626 --> 01:08:50,584 then you have eaten it, 1363 01:08:50,626 --> 01:08:50,426 preventing you 1364 01:08:50,626 --> 01:08:52,834 from further growth 1365 01:08:52,875 --> 01:08:54,171 and understanding 1366 01:08:54,371 --> 01:08:55,667 of your true self. 1367 01:08:55,709 --> 01:08:59,667 But it's not too late 1368 01:08:59,667 --> 01:08:59,509 to save yourself 1369 01:08:59,709 --> 01:09:02,210 if you follow my lead. 1370 01:09:02,251 --> 01:09:04,627 I am confident. 1371 01:09:04,668 --> 01:09:06,876 I am blessed. 1372 01:09:06,918 --> 01:09:09,001 I am strong. 1373 01:09:09,043 --> 01:09:11,168 I am ready 1374 01:09:11,210 --> 01:09:14,126 to give up my life for Christ 1375 01:09:14,168 --> 01:09:17,461 in order to find my true self. 1376 01:10:26,381 --> 01:10:27,469 Sure you don't 1377 01:10:27,669 --> 01:10:28,757 want a coffee? 1378 01:10:28,799 --> 01:10:29,802 I don't drink 1379 01:10:30,002 --> 01:10:31,006 coffee anymore. 1380 01:10:35,923 --> 01:10:37,882 You're well? 1381 01:10:37,924 --> 01:10:39,965 Yeah. Why? 1382 01:10:40,007 --> 01:10:42,007 Just asking. 1383 01:10:43,299 --> 01:10:45,674 Mm. I'm great. 1384 01:10:45,716 --> 01:10:48,299 I've never been better. 1385 01:10:51,299 --> 01:10:51,099 Well, I just wanted 1386 01:10:51,299 --> 01:10:54,675 to see how you're doing. 1387 01:10:56,300 --> 01:10:58,300 So does Bennett. 1388 01:10:59,300 --> 01:11:01,050 Mm. 1389 01:11:01,092 --> 01:11:02,575 I wish I could understand 1390 01:11:02,775 --> 01:11:04,258 what you're going through. 1391 01:11:06,258 --> 01:11:06,058 I just don't want 1392 01:11:06,258 --> 01:11:09,134 to be perceived as gay 1393 01:11:09,176 --> 01:11:08,976 for the rest 1394 01:11:09,176 --> 01:11:12,176 of my experiences. 1395 01:11:12,218 --> 01:11:14,259 It's that simple. 1396 01:11:17,176 --> 01:11:18,555 Are you still 1397 01:11:18,755 --> 01:11:20,134 with Bennett? 1398 01:11:20,176 --> 01:11:21,802 No. 1399 01:11:21,843 --> 01:11:25,803 I'm, uh, going to Europe 1400 01:11:25,844 --> 01:11:27,803 to study space science. 1401 01:11:27,844 --> 01:11:29,844 That's great. 1402 01:11:29,885 --> 01:11:29,685 I'm going 1403 01:11:29,885 --> 01:11:32,469 to Bible school. 1404 01:11:32,511 --> 01:11:32,311 God told me 1405 01:11:32,511 --> 01:11:35,010 to become a pastor. 1406 01:11:44,928 --> 01:11:44,728 I don't want to 1407 01:11:44,928 --> 01:11:49,095 open old wounds or anything, 1408 01:11:49,136 --> 01:11:52,178 but I also don't know 1409 01:11:52,220 --> 01:11:53,203 when I'll ever 1410 01:11:53,403 --> 01:11:54,386 see you again. 1411 01:11:56,887 --> 01:11:56,687 I want you to know 1412 01:11:56,887 --> 01:11:59,513 how much you meant to me. 1413 01:12:05,721 --> 01:12:05,521 And I know 1414 01:12:05,721 --> 01:12:08,137 you don't care anymore... 1415 01:12:09,638 --> 01:12:11,847 but I needed to say it. 1416 01:12:12,847 --> 01:12:14,971 For closure. 1417 01:12:20,013 --> 01:12:22,597 This whole thing... 1418 01:12:24,388 --> 01:12:26,555 it broke my heart. 1419 01:12:27,972 --> 01:12:32,181 Tyler, I'm sorry... 1420 01:12:34,348 --> 01:12:35,664 but I need to live 1421 01:12:35,864 --> 01:12:37,181 for myself now. 1422 01:12:40,807 --> 01:12:42,807 Okay. 1423 01:12:46,307 --> 01:12:47,724 Okay. 1424 01:12:49,932 --> 01:12:51,932 Take care. 1425 01:13:41,893 --> 01:13:41,693 Now, sometime, somebody's 1426 01:13:41,893 --> 01:13:44,976 gonna ask you what you believe. 1427 01:13:45,018 --> 01:13:47,252 They're gonna say, 1428 01:13:47,452 --> 01:13:44,818 "You're a Christian. 1429 01:13:45,018 --> 01:13:49,686 All right, what do you believe?" 1430 01:13:49,728 --> 01:13:52,478 Maybe they're an atheist 1431 01:13:52,478 --> 01:13:52,320 or an agnostic 1432 01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:54,478 or a Muslim or a Buddha, 1433 01:13:54,478 --> 01:13:54,320 you know? 1434 01:13:54,520 --> 01:13:56,478 Who knows what they are. 1435 01:13:56,520 --> 01:13:59,894 And you better be ready 1436 01:13:59,894 --> 01:13:59,736 to tell them. 1437 01:13:59,936 --> 01:14:01,502 We believe the Bible 1438 01:14:01,702 --> 01:14:03,270 is the word of God. 1439 01:14:03,312 --> 01:14:06,187 The supreme final authority 1440 01:14:06,229 --> 01:14:06,029 in life 1441 01:14:06,229 --> 01:14:08,395 and in our faith. 1442 01:14:08,437 --> 01:14:12,187 We believe in one God 1443 01:14:12,229 --> 01:14:13,608 eternally existing 1444 01:14:13,808 --> 01:14:15,187 in three persons: 1445 01:14:15,229 --> 01:14:16,170 the Father, the Son, 1446 01:14:16,370 --> 01:14:17,312 and the Holy Spirit. 1447 01:14:18,479 --> 01:14:19,671 And we believe 1448 01:14:19,871 --> 01:14:21,063 the sole condition 1449 01:14:21,105 --> 01:14:24,146 for receiving everlasting life 1450 01:14:24,188 --> 01:14:27,814 is belief and faith alone 1451 01:14:27,855 --> 01:14:30,355 in the Lord Jesus Christ. 1452 01:14:32,938 --> 01:14:35,773 ♪♪ 1453 01:14:48,481 --> 01:14:51,065 ♪♪ 1454 01:15:16,108 --> 01:15:15,908 Thank you. 1455 01:15:16,108 --> 01:15:18,566 Uh, one of those, please. 1456 01:15:32,109 --> 01:15:33,692 Hi, I'm Michael. 1457 01:15:33,734 --> 01:15:36,442 Uh, hi. I'm Rebecca. 1458 01:15:38,110 --> 01:15:37,909 I guess we like 1459 01:15:38,110 --> 01:15:41,110 all the same things. 1460 01:15:43,235 --> 01:15:45,443 I love it here. 1461 01:15:45,485 --> 01:15:46,572 I mean, I never thought 1462 01:15:46,772 --> 01:15:47,860 I'd end up in Wyoming, 1463 01:15:47,901 --> 01:15:49,468 but I feel like I've 1464 01:15:49,668 --> 01:15:51,235 finally found my niche. 1465 01:15:51,276 --> 01:15:52,238 Where'd you think 1466 01:15:52,438 --> 01:15:53,401 you'd end up? 1467 01:15:55,985 --> 01:15:58,569 That's a good question. 1468 01:15:58,569 --> 01:15:58,411 I don't know. 1469 01:15:58,611 --> 01:16:00,365 All I know is that 1470 01:16:00,565 --> 01:16:01,342 I've always wanted 1471 01:16:01,542 --> 01:16:02,319 to help people. 1472 01:16:02,361 --> 01:16:04,302 Because some people 1473 01:16:04,502 --> 01:16:06,444 struggle so much 1474 01:16:06,486 --> 01:16:06,286 when the solution 1475 01:16:06,486 --> 01:16:09,528 is actually very simple. 1476 01:16:09,569 --> 01:16:11,116 It's right there 1477 01:16:11,316 --> 01:16:12,862 in Matthew 10: 1478 01:16:12,903 --> 01:16:14,945 The road may not be easy, 1479 01:16:14,986 --> 01:16:14,786 but if we give up 1480 01:16:14,986 --> 01:16:17,487 our lives for Christ... 1481 01:16:19,028 --> 01:16:20,261 then we'll find 1482 01:16:20,461 --> 01:16:21,695 our true selves. 1483 01:16:29,530 --> 01:16:30,409 Where did you 1484 01:16:30,609 --> 01:16:31,488 go to college? 1485 01:16:31,530 --> 01:16:33,655 Dartmouth. 1486 01:16:33,655 --> 01:16:33,496 Wow. 1487 01:16:33,696 --> 01:16:33,496 You, uh... 1488 01:16:33,696 --> 01:16:35,655 You majored in music? 1489 01:16:35,696 --> 01:16:37,283 In creative writing 1490 01:16:37,483 --> 01:16:39,071 and English literature, 1491 01:16:39,113 --> 01:16:43,405 but I minored in music theory 1492 01:16:43,405 --> 01:16:43,247 and composition. 1493 01:16:43,447 --> 01:16:46,072 That must've kept you busy. 1494 01:16:46,114 --> 01:16:47,243 What kind of stuff 1495 01:16:47,443 --> 01:16:48,572 did you write? 1496 01:16:48,614 --> 01:16:48,414 Well, my thesis 1497 01:16:48,614 --> 01:16:53,030 was all poetry, actually. 1498 01:16:53,072 --> 01:16:55,531 Can I read some? 1499 01:16:55,572 --> 01:16:57,740 I don't have it anymore. 1500 01:16:57,782 --> 01:16:59,348 Poetry is from 1501 01:16:59,548 --> 01:17:01,115 a different life. 1502 01:17:01,156 --> 01:17:02,865 But I, um... 1503 01:17:02,906 --> 01:17:05,240 I'm so interested 1504 01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:06,411 in music now 1505 01:17:06,611 --> 01:17:05,081 because it 1506 01:17:05,281 --> 01:17:07,782 transcends language. 1507 01:17:07,824 --> 01:17:09,390 You know, it's like 1508 01:17:09,590 --> 01:17:11,156 people don't have to 1509 01:17:11,156 --> 01:17:12,056 argue about it 1510 01:17:12,256 --> 01:17:10,998 or judge it 1511 01:17:11,198 --> 01:17:13,156 or misinterpret it. 1512 01:17:13,198 --> 01:17:15,324 They can just listen, 1513 01:17:15,324 --> 01:17:17,036 you know? 1514 01:17:17,236 --> 01:17:15,166 I just play, 1515 01:17:15,366 --> 01:17:18,949 and they just listen, 1516 01:17:18,949 --> 01:17:18,790 you know? 1517 01:17:18,990 --> 01:17:21,366 I... I don't know if I do, 1518 01:17:21,366 --> 01:17:21,207 to be honest, 1519 01:17:21,407 --> 01:17:24,407 but the way you say it, 1520 01:17:24,407 --> 01:17:25,328 I want to. 1521 01:17:25,528 --> 01:17:24,249 I'm sorry. 1522 01:17:24,449 --> 01:17:26,449 I'm just blabbing. 1523 01:17:26,491 --> 01:17:27,370 What about you? 1524 01:17:27,570 --> 01:17:28,449 No, don't be sorry. 1525 01:17:28,491 --> 01:17:30,450 You're not blabbing. 1526 01:17:30,450 --> 01:17:30,292 Um... 1527 01:17:30,492 --> 01:17:32,450 I, uh, majored in theater. 1528 01:17:32,492 --> 01:17:34,450 Theater? Really? 1529 01:17:34,450 --> 01:17:34,292 Yeah. 1530 01:17:34,492 --> 01:17:35,371 Yeah, it was... 1531 01:17:35,571 --> 01:17:36,450 it was really fun, 1532 01:17:36,492 --> 01:17:37,725 but it's not like 1533 01:17:37,925 --> 01:17:39,158 it's a real job. 1534 01:17:39,200 --> 01:17:41,100 I actually stage managed 1535 01:17:41,300 --> 01:17:43,200 a little bit after college, 1536 01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:43,042 but... 1537 01:17:43,242 --> 01:17:44,600 I don't know. 1538 01:17:44,800 --> 01:17:46,159 I felt adrift. 1539 01:17:46,201 --> 01:17:48,159 So, I came here, 1540 01:17:48,201 --> 01:17:50,909 hoping to figure out 1541 01:17:50,909 --> 01:17:51,830 my path. 1542 01:17:52,030 --> 01:17:52,951 Me too. 1543 01:18:40,454 --> 01:18:43,621 ♪♪ 1544 01:18:43,663 --> 01:18:43,463 I can't believe 1545 01:18:43,663 --> 01:18:46,246 you've never had sushi. 1546 01:18:46,287 --> 01:18:48,788 Who hasn't had sushi? 1547 01:18:48,788 --> 01:18:48,989 It's crazy. 1548 01:18:49,189 --> 01:18:51,372 Mm... 1549 01:18:51,413 --> 01:18:53,372 Oh, no. 1550 01:18:53,413 --> 01:18:55,413 You don't like it. 1551 01:18:55,413 --> 01:18:55,255 I'm sorry. 1552 01:18:55,455 --> 01:18:57,455 Oh, I'm so sorry. 1553 01:18:57,497 --> 01:18:58,480 Ohh... 1554 01:18:58,680 --> 01:18:59,664 I'm sorry. 1555 01:18:59,705 --> 01:19:01,063 No. I used to hate it 1556 01:19:01,263 --> 01:19:02,622 when my ex did that. 1557 01:19:02,664 --> 01:19:05,039 Always making decisions. 1558 01:19:05,081 --> 01:19:07,248 We can go somewhere else. 1559 01:19:07,248 --> 01:19:07,089 No. 1560 01:19:07,289 --> 01:19:09,623 No, no, no. No. 1561 01:19:09,623 --> 01:19:10,648 It's okay. 1562 01:19:10,848 --> 01:19:11,260 You sure? 1563 01:19:11,460 --> 01:19:11,873 Yes. Yeah. 1564 01:19:11,914 --> 01:19:13,022 You like it. 1565 01:19:13,222 --> 01:19:14,331 It's fine. 1566 01:19:19,206 --> 01:19:19,006 How, um... 1567 01:19:19,206 --> 01:19:22,499 How long ago was the... 1568 01:19:22,541 --> 01:19:24,499 an ex you mentioned? 1569 01:19:24,541 --> 01:19:27,541 Oh, it was a long time ago. 1570 01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:27,382 It was... 1571 01:19:27,582 --> 01:19:28,628 I don't know why 1572 01:19:28,828 --> 01:19:29,874 I brought that up. 1573 01:19:31,957 --> 01:19:34,415 Well, um, was it serious? 1574 01:19:34,457 --> 01:19:36,457 Were you gonna marry her? 1575 01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:41,667 It was serious, but, um, 1576 01:19:41,708 --> 01:19:43,792 no, not marriage. 1577 01:19:45,291 --> 01:19:47,375 What about you? 1578 01:19:47,416 --> 01:19:49,375 Oh, no. I've... 1579 01:19:49,416 --> 01:19:49,216 I've never been in 1580 01:19:49,416 --> 01:19:52,668 a serious relationship. 1581 01:19:52,709 --> 01:19:54,213 My parents are very, 1582 01:19:54,413 --> 01:19:55,917 very conservative. 1583 01:19:57,292 --> 01:19:57,092 Do you think 1584 01:19:57,292 --> 01:19:59,626 they'd approve of me? 1585 01:19:59,668 --> 01:19:59,468 The future pastor 1586 01:19:59,668 --> 01:20:03,459 I met at Bible school? 1587 01:20:03,501 --> 01:20:06,626 Yes, I think they'd approve. 1588 01:20:41,212 --> 01:20:42,629 Rebecca? 1589 01:20:43,754 --> 01:20:46,712 Hi. 1590 01:20:48,420 --> 01:20:50,754 What? 1591 01:20:50,796 --> 01:20:52,796 I just... 1592 01:20:52,838 --> 01:20:55,629 Since when do you wear 1593 01:20:55,629 --> 01:20:55,471 shirts like that? 1594 01:20:55,671 --> 01:20:59,547 Well, it's not inappropriate, 1595 01:20:59,547 --> 01:20:59,388 and it's hot out. 1596 01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:03,797 You're here to serve our Lord, 1597 01:21:03,797 --> 01:21:06,134 not distract our men. 1598 01:21:06,334 --> 01:21:03,639 I... I don't think 1599 01:21:03,839 --> 01:21:08,672 I'm distracting anyone. 1600 01:21:08,713 --> 01:21:11,213 Is... Is this about Michael? 1601 01:21:11,255 --> 01:21:13,135 We are not letting what we have 1602 01:21:13,335 --> 01:21:15,214 get in the way of our studies. 1603 01:21:15,256 --> 01:21:16,343 Besides, the Lord 1604 01:21:16,543 --> 01:21:17,631 brought us together. 1605 01:21:18,798 --> 01:21:21,589 It's about his past. 1606 01:21:21,631 --> 01:21:24,256 What about it? 1607 01:21:24,297 --> 01:21:26,506 You really don't know? 1608 01:21:28,465 --> 01:21:30,423 Know what? 1609 01:21:51,216 --> 01:21:53,007 Rebecca. 1610 01:21:53,049 --> 01:21:55,007 Oh. Hi. 1611 01:21:55,049 --> 01:21:57,216 Are we still meeting? 1612 01:21:57,216 --> 01:21:57,058 Yeah. I'm just... 1613 01:21:57,258 --> 01:21:58,595 Just let me finish this. 1614 01:21:58,795 --> 01:22:00,134 I'll be... be right there. 1615 01:22:01,384 --> 01:22:03,843 I'll be in the cafeteria. 1616 01:22:03,843 --> 01:22:04,043 Okay. 1617 01:22:23,926 --> 01:22:23,726 I have something 1618 01:22:23,926 --> 01:22:26,343 that I have to tell you. 1619 01:22:30,468 --> 01:22:32,469 You already know, 1620 01:22:32,469 --> 01:22:32,669 don't you? 1621 01:22:37,094 --> 01:22:38,244 Are you still 1622 01:22:38,444 --> 01:22:39,594 attracted to men? 1623 01:22:39,636 --> 01:22:41,678 No. 1624 01:22:42,886 --> 01:22:44,927 It's in the past. 1625 01:22:44,969 --> 01:22:47,846 I... God showed me 1626 01:22:47,846 --> 01:22:47,687 the light. 1627 01:22:47,887 --> 01:22:50,345 He showed me the truth. 1628 01:22:50,387 --> 01:22:50,187 A lot of... 1629 01:22:50,387 --> 01:22:54,303 A lot of people have pasts 1630 01:22:54,303 --> 01:22:56,036 they're not proud of, 1631 01:22:56,236 --> 01:22:57,970 but God forgives, right? 1632 01:23:00,011 --> 01:23:03,721 My life has changed so much 1633 01:23:03,721 --> 01:23:05,350 since I met you. 1634 01:23:05,550 --> 01:23:06,264 And my feelings 1635 01:23:06,464 --> 01:23:07,179 for you are real. 1636 01:23:07,221 --> 01:23:11,138 My feelings for you 1637 01:23:11,138 --> 01:23:10,979 are real too. 1638 01:23:11,179 --> 01:23:12,662 But I feel like we should 1639 01:23:12,862 --> 01:23:14,346 just keep hanging out 1640 01:23:14,388 --> 01:23:16,638 and see what happens. 1641 01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:16,480 Maybe not settle 1642 01:23:16,680 --> 01:23:20,806 on anything too specific, 1643 01:23:20,848 --> 01:23:22,848 if that's okay. 1644 01:23:24,848 --> 01:23:26,264 Okay. 1645 01:23:53,932 --> 01:23:56,599 Hi. I'm Michael. 1646 01:24:32,393 --> 01:24:35,518 Now, I wanna tell you 1647 01:24:35,560 --> 01:24:38,685 a little secret 1648 01:24:38,726 --> 01:24:42,352 about a great gift from God. 1649 01:24:44,185 --> 01:24:46,853 This gift is a human emotion 1650 01:24:46,894 --> 01:24:48,853 and considered destructive 1651 01:24:48,894 --> 01:24:51,060 by the enemies of God. 1652 01:24:54,936 --> 01:24:57,353 Fear. 1653 01:24:57,395 --> 01:25:01,228 You can never, never, 1654 01:25:01,270 --> 01:25:05,436 never stop fearing yourself. 1655 01:25:05,478 --> 01:25:10,520 We are our own worst enemies, 1656 01:25:10,562 --> 01:25:12,771 and we must fear ourselves 1657 01:25:12,813 --> 01:25:12,613 till the day 1658 01:25:12,813 --> 01:25:17,062 we meet God Himself. 1659 01:25:18,271 --> 01:25:20,396 God didn't put us here 1660 01:25:20,437 --> 01:25:21,816 to live our lives 1661 01:25:22,016 --> 01:25:23,396 in constant fear. 1662 01:25:23,437 --> 01:25:25,396 No, of course not. 1663 01:25:25,437 --> 01:25:26,984 And then he scolded me 1664 01:25:27,184 --> 01:25:28,730 for asking questions. 1665 01:25:28,772 --> 01:25:29,651 Well, that's not fair. 1666 01:25:29,851 --> 01:25:30,730 We're here to learn, 1667 01:25:30,772 --> 01:25:31,651 and we learn, in part, 1668 01:25:31,851 --> 01:25:32,730 by asking questions. 1669 01:25:32,772 --> 01:25:36,230 No, we're here to serve God, 1670 01:25:36,230 --> 01:25:36,072 not to identify 1671 01:25:36,272 --> 01:25:40,522 as the exact kind of Christians 1672 01:25:40,522 --> 01:25:40,722 they want us to be. 1673 01:25:41,730 --> 01:25:43,214 I'm sorry. 1674 01:25:43,414 --> 01:25:44,898 Don't be. 1675 01:25:44,981 --> 01:25:46,673 You know what's best 1676 01:25:46,873 --> 01:25:47,619 because that's God 1677 01:25:47,819 --> 01:25:48,565 speaking through you. 1678 01:25:56,273 --> 01:25:58,273 You wanted to see me? 1679 01:26:00,315 --> 01:26:01,777 Now, you've been rallying 1680 01:26:01,977 --> 01:26:03,440 the students against us 1681 01:26:03,482 --> 01:26:03,282 as though 1682 01:26:03,482 --> 01:26:04,819 you're being controlled 1683 01:26:05,019 --> 01:26:06,357 by the devil himself. 1684 01:26:09,566 --> 01:26:10,736 I've learned a lot 1685 01:26:10,936 --> 01:26:12,107 about the Bible here, 1686 01:26:12,149 --> 01:26:14,358 and for that I thank you. 1687 01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:15,716 But I refuse 1688 01:26:15,916 --> 01:26:17,233 to be controlled 1689 01:26:17,275 --> 01:26:19,525 by anyone other than God. 1690 01:26:19,567 --> 01:26:21,817 I follow my own path. 1691 01:26:21,859 --> 01:26:23,175 Yeah, and you want 1692 01:26:23,375 --> 01:26:24,692 others to follow you. 1693 01:26:26,233 --> 01:26:26,033 Perhaps it's best 1694 01:26:26,233 --> 01:26:29,567 if we mail you your diploma 1695 01:26:29,608 --> 01:26:30,884 and that you not 1696 01:26:31,084 --> 01:26:32,359 attend the ceremony. 1697 01:26:37,401 --> 01:26:37,201 I don't know if I 1698 01:26:37,401 --> 01:26:39,860 can stay here anymore. 1699 01:26:39,901 --> 01:26:42,109 Where will we go? 1700 01:26:43,818 --> 01:26:45,442 "We"? 1701 01:26:47,193 --> 01:26:51,235 Uh, I've been praying 1702 01:26:51,235 --> 01:26:51,435 about it. 1703 01:26:52,277 --> 01:26:54,861 About us. 1704 01:26:54,902 --> 01:26:54,702 I told God 1705 01:26:54,902 --> 01:26:58,402 how I feel about you 1706 01:26:58,443 --> 01:27:00,072 and how much 1707 01:27:00,272 --> 01:27:01,903 you mean to me. 1708 01:27:01,944 --> 01:27:04,111 And you know what? 1709 01:27:06,069 --> 01:27:05,869 I was consumed 1710 01:27:06,069 --> 01:27:08,820 with nothing but peace. 1711 01:27:08,862 --> 01:27:12,027 Pure peace. 1712 01:27:15,319 --> 01:27:17,778 I love you. 1713 01:27:18,779 --> 01:27:20,779 I love you too. 1714 01:27:53,989 --> 01:27:56,823 "And be not conformed 1715 01:27:56,823 --> 01:27:56,665 to this world, 1716 01:27:56,865 --> 01:27:56,665 "but be you transformed 1717 01:27:56,865 --> 01:28:00,947 by the renewing of your mind 1718 01:28:00,989 --> 01:28:04,614 "that you may prove that good, 1719 01:28:04,656 --> 01:28:07,948 glorious and perfect 1720 01:28:07,948 --> 01:28:08,148 will of God." 1721 01:28:10,657 --> 01:28:13,115 "That you may know 1722 01:28:13,115 --> 01:28:12,957 that good, 1723 01:28:13,157 --> 01:28:16,907 acceptable and perfect 1724 01:28:16,907 --> 01:28:17,107 will of God." 1725 01:28:23,825 --> 01:28:25,825 ♪♪ 1726 01:28:46,784 --> 01:28:48,288 Which would you 1727 01:28:48,488 --> 01:28:49,992 prefer to have? 1728 01:28:50,033 --> 01:28:51,329 Frosted Flakes 1729 01:28:51,529 --> 01:28:52,826 or Fruit Loops? 1730 01:28:52,868 --> 01:28:56,410 Well, obviously Fruit Loops. 1731 01:28:56,410 --> 01:28:56,251 Why obviously? 1732 01:28:56,451 --> 01:28:58,410 I think you're a Fruit Loop. 1733 01:29:18,077 --> 01:29:19,706 There you are. 1734 01:29:19,906 --> 01:29:21,536 Are you okay? 1735 01:29:22,952 --> 01:29:24,952 Yeah, I'm fine. 1736 01:29:35,328 --> 01:29:38,120 You get everything? 1737 01:29:38,120 --> 01:29:38,320 Mm-hmm. 1738 01:29:41,246 --> 01:29:42,187 These are going 1739 01:29:42,387 --> 01:29:43,329 to storage. 1740 01:29:51,037 --> 01:29:52,541 Well, so you can have 1741 01:29:52,741 --> 01:29:53,393 a little more room 1742 01:29:53,593 --> 01:29:54,246 for your shoes? 1743 01:29:54,288 --> 01:29:56,163 Shut up. 1744 01:29:56,204 --> 01:29:57,209 I have never seen anyone 1745 01:29:57,409 --> 01:29:58,414 with more shoes than you. 1746 01:29:58,455 --> 01:29:59,501 You can never have 1747 01:29:59,701 --> 01:30:00,747 too many shoes. 1748 01:30:12,664 --> 01:30:14,665 Get those outta here. 1749 01:30:33,791 --> 01:30:35,374 Hello. 1750 01:30:35,416 --> 01:30:35,216 1751 01:30:35,416 --> 01:30:37,416 Hi. 1752 01:30:41,332 --> 01:30:43,082 Hi. 1753 01:30:45,333 --> 01:30:47,292 How are you? 1754 01:30:47,333 --> 01:30:49,167 Good. 1755 01:30:50,167 --> 01:30:52,333 I finished school, 1756 01:30:52,375 --> 01:30:53,691 but I'm no longer 1757 01:30:53,891 --> 01:30:55,208 on their path. 1758 01:30:56,709 --> 01:30:56,509 So, what path 1759 01:30:56,709 --> 01:31:00,041 are you on now? 1760 01:31:00,083 --> 01:31:02,084 My own. 1761 01:31:02,126 --> 01:31:01,926 I'm going to be the pastor 1762 01:31:02,126 --> 01:31:06,001 of my own church. 1763 01:31:09,334 --> 01:31:12,209 Why are you calling? 1764 01:31:12,251 --> 01:31:14,084 Um... 1765 01:31:15,209 --> 01:31:17,669 I, uh... 1766 01:31:17,711 --> 01:31:18,860 I got the picture 1767 01:31:19,060 --> 01:31:20,210 you sent of Olly. 1768 01:31:20,252 --> 01:31:20,052 I know it was months ago, 1769 01:31:20,252 --> 01:31:22,335 but I didn't respond. 1770 01:31:22,377 --> 01:31:24,502 So, how is she? 1771 01:31:26,502 --> 01:31:29,002 She's getting old. 1772 01:31:29,043 --> 01:31:30,193 But she's okay. 1773 01:31:30,393 --> 01:31:31,544 She has this 1774 01:31:31,586 --> 01:31:31,386 stuffed animal that she 1775 01:31:31,586 --> 01:31:34,378 carries around with her now 1776 01:31:34,420 --> 01:31:34,220 everywhere she goes, 1777 01:31:34,420 --> 01:31:36,961 like it's her baby, or... 1778 01:31:37,003 --> 01:31:40,211 1779 01:31:42,378 --> 01:31:45,712 Bennett, I should tell you 1780 01:31:45,753 --> 01:31:48,337 before someone else does. 1781 01:31:48,379 --> 01:31:50,671 I'm engaged 1782 01:31:50,713 --> 01:31:55,838 to a really amazing woman. 1783 01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:55,680 Now, I know 1784 01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:57,880 what you're thinking, 1785 01:31:57,921 --> 01:31:57,721 because I asked myself 1786 01:31:57,921 --> 01:32:00,588 the same thing... 1787 01:32:00,629 --> 01:32:02,629 am I really in love with her, 1788 01:32:02,671 --> 01:32:04,630 or am I only doing this 1789 01:32:04,672 --> 01:32:07,505 to be right in God's eyes? 1790 01:32:07,547 --> 01:32:07,347 A-And I am truly 1791 01:32:07,547 --> 01:32:11,755 in love with her, Bennett. 1792 01:32:13,380 --> 01:32:14,884 God went to the root 1793 01:32:15,084 --> 01:32:16,589 of my same-sex desires, 1794 01:32:16,630 --> 01:32:19,172 and He uprooted them. 1795 01:32:19,213 --> 01:32:19,013 He demonstrated 1796 01:32:19,213 --> 01:32:22,047 that they were abnormal. 1797 01:32:22,089 --> 01:32:21,889 Michael, I'm really glad 1798 01:32:22,089 --> 01:32:25,506 you think you're happy... 1799 01:32:29,423 --> 01:32:31,381 and I wish you all the best. 1800 01:32:31,423 --> 01:32:31,223 I really do. 1801 01:32:31,423 --> 01:32:34,214 I think you know that. 1802 01:32:34,256 --> 01:32:37,299 But I have no idea 1803 01:32:37,340 --> 01:32:37,140 why you would call me up 1804 01:32:37,340 --> 01:32:40,632 and use words like "abnormal." 1805 01:32:42,883 --> 01:32:42,683 I'm so sorry for the way 1806 01:32:42,883 --> 01:32:47,299 that things went down. 1807 01:32:47,340 --> 01:32:49,883 But just because we don't 1808 01:32:49,924 --> 01:32:51,884 share certain beliefs, 1809 01:32:51,884 --> 01:32:53,512 it doesn't mean 1810 01:32:53,712 --> 01:32:54,426 that we can't 1811 01:32:54,626 --> 01:32:55,341 still be friends. 1812 01:32:58,758 --> 01:33:00,966 I'll always be your friend. 1813 01:33:03,133 --> 01:33:07,300 I really hope that this path 1814 01:33:07,341 --> 01:33:07,141 takes you 1815 01:33:07,341 --> 01:33:10,759 where you wanna go. 1816 01:33:10,801 --> 01:33:15,050 But I also hope that 1817 01:33:15,092 --> 01:33:16,305 as you're setting out 1818 01:33:16,505 --> 01:33:17,718 to help other people, 1819 01:33:17,759 --> 01:33:19,534 that you really take some time 1820 01:33:19,734 --> 01:33:21,509 to help yourself. 1821 01:33:24,427 --> 01:33:28,051 I... I am. I... 1822 01:33:28,093 --> 01:33:27,893 I'm not gonna 1823 01:33:28,093 --> 01:33:30,177 sit here and say 1824 01:33:30,218 --> 01:33:30,018 that I know I'll be this way 1825 01:33:30,218 --> 01:33:34,677 for the rest of my life. 1826 01:33:34,719 --> 01:33:38,552 We're always changing, 1827 01:33:38,552 --> 01:33:38,394 evolving, 1828 01:33:38,594 --> 01:33:40,803 and I'm open to that. 1829 01:33:46,052 --> 01:33:48,052 Then... 1830 01:33:49,428 --> 01:33:51,057 I guess nothing's 1831 01:33:51,257 --> 01:33:52,887 really changed. 1832 01:33:52,928 --> 01:33:55,387 Yeah. 1833 01:33:57,137 --> 01:33:56,937 You take care 1834 01:33:57,137 --> 01:33:59,429 of yourself, okay? 1835 01:34:02,095 --> 01:34:04,095 Good-bye, Michael. 1836 01:34:07,846 --> 01:34:09,429 Bye. 1837 01:34:28,431 --> 01:34:31,556 ♪♪ 1838 01:34:52,765 --> 01:34:54,724 ♪♪ 1839 01:34:54,765 --> 01:34:56,307 Here they come. 1840 01:36:07,270 --> 01:36:07,070 1841 01:36:07,270 --> 01:36:10,061 ♪ Every finger in the room ♪ 1842 01:36:10,103 --> 01:36:12,937 ♪ Is pointing at me ♪ 1843 01:36:12,978 --> 01:36:15,770 ♪ I wanna spit in their faces ♪ 1844 01:36:15,812 --> 01:36:15,612 ♪ Then I get afraid 1845 01:36:15,812 --> 01:36:18,605 of what that could bring ♪ 1846 01:36:18,646 --> 01:36:18,445 ♪ Got a bowling ball 1847 01:36:18,646 --> 01:36:21,438 in my stomach ♪ 1848 01:36:21,479 --> 01:36:25,271 ♪ I got a desert in my mouth ♪ 1849 01:36:25,313 --> 01:36:25,113 ♪ Figures that my courage 1850 01:36:25,313 --> 01:36:29,938 would choose to sell out now ♪ 1851 01:36:29,979 --> 01:36:29,779 ♪ I've been looking 1852 01:36:29,979 --> 01:36:29,779 for a savior 1853 01:36:29,979 --> 01:36:35,606 in these dirty streets ♪ 1854 01:36:35,647 --> 01:36:35,447 ♪ Looking for a savior 1855 01:36:35,647 --> 01:36:41,272 beneath these dirty sheets ♪ 1856 01:36:41,314 --> 01:36:41,114 ♪ I've been 1857 01:36:41,314 --> 01:36:44,355 raising up my hands ♪ 1858 01:36:44,397 --> 01:36:46,939 ♪ Drive another nail in ♪ 1859 01:36:46,980 --> 01:36:49,731 ♪ Just what God needs ♪ 1860 01:36:49,772 --> 01:36:52,607 ♪ One more victim ♪ 1861 01:36:52,648 --> 01:36:55,398 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1862 01:36:55,440 --> 01:36:58,273 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1863 01:36:58,315 --> 01:37:01,064 ♪ Every day ♪ 1864 01:37:01,106 --> 01:37:03,607 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1865 01:37:03,648 --> 01:37:03,448 ♪ And nothing I do 1866 01:37:03,648 --> 01:37:06,733 is good enough for you ♪ 1867 01:37:06,774 --> 01:37:09,608 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1868 01:37:09,649 --> 01:37:12,441 ♪ Every day ♪ 1869 01:37:12,482 --> 01:37:14,941 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1870 01:37:14,982 --> 01:37:17,774 ♪ My heart is sick of being ♪ 1871 01:37:17,816 --> 01:37:17,616 ♪ I say my heart 1872 01:37:17,816 --> 01:37:20,608 is sick of being ♪ 1873 01:37:20,649 --> 01:37:25,233 ♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪ 1874 01:37:25,275 --> 01:37:27,025 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 1875 01:37:27,066 --> 01:37:30,942 ♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪ 1876 01:37:30,983 --> 01:37:33,150 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 1877 01:37:33,192 --> 01:37:32,992 ♪ Got a kick for a dog 1878 01:37:33,192 --> 01:37:37,901 beggin' for love ♪ 1879 01:37:37,942 --> 01:37:37,742 ♪ I gotta have my suffering 1880 01:37:37,942 --> 01:37:43,568 so that I can have my cross ♪ 1881 01:37:43,610 --> 01:37:46,193 ♪ I know a cat named Easter ♪ 1882 01:37:46,234 --> 01:37:46,034 ♪ He says, 1883 01:37:46,234 --> 01:37:49,776 "Will you ever learn?" ♪ 1884 01:37:49,818 --> 01:37:49,618 ♪ You're just an empty cage, 1885 01:37:49,818 --> 01:37:55,360 girl, if you kill the bird ♪ 1886 01:37:55,402 --> 01:37:55,202 ♪ I've been looking 1887 01:37:55,402 --> 01:37:57,903 for a savior 1888 01:37:57,944 --> 01:38:01,569 ♪ In these dirty streets ♪ 1889 01:38:01,611 --> 01:38:01,411 ♪ Looking for a savior 1890 01:38:01,611 --> 01:38:06,777 beneath these dirty sheets ♪ 1891 01:38:06,819 --> 01:38:06,619 ♪ I've been 1892 01:38:06,819 --> 01:38:09,777 raising up my hands ♪ 1893 01:38:09,820 --> 01:38:12,528 ♪ Drive another nail in ♪ 1894 01:38:12,570 --> 01:38:12,370 ♪ Got enough guilt to start 1895 01:38:12,570 --> 01:38:18,195 my own religion ♪ 1896 01:38:18,236 --> 01:38:20,486 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1897 01:38:20,528 --> 01:38:23,403 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1898 01:38:23,445 --> 01:38:26,154 ♪ Every day ♪ 1899 01:38:26,196 --> 01:38:28,987 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1900 01:38:29,029 --> 01:38:28,829 ♪ And nothing I do 1901 01:38:29,029 --> 01:38:31,946 is good enough for you ♪ 1902 01:38:31,987 --> 01:38:34,905 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1903 01:38:34,946 --> 01:38:37,738 ♪ Every day ♪ 1904 01:38:37,779 --> 01:38:40,404 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1905 01:38:40,446 --> 01:38:43,113 ♪ My heart is sick of being ♪ 1906 01:38:43,155 --> 01:38:42,955 ♪ I say my heart 1907 01:38:43,155 --> 01:38:45,614 is sick of being ♪ 1908 01:38:45,655 --> 01:38:50,488 ♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪ 1909 01:38:50,530 --> 01:38:52,363 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 1910 01:38:52,405 --> 01:38:56,197 ♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪ 1911 01:38:56,238 --> 01:38:58,198 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 1912 01:38:58,239 --> 01:39:03,907 ♪ Please be ♪ 1913 01:39:03,948 --> 01:39:06,656 ♪ Save ♪ 1914 01:39:06,698 --> 01:39:09,823 ♪ Me ♪ 1915 01:39:09,865 --> 01:39:12,656 ♪ I ♪ 1916 01:39:12,698 --> 01:39:17,741 ♪ Cry ♪ 1917 01:39:17,782 --> 01:39:21,240 ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 1918 01:39:21,282 --> 01:39:21,082 ♪ Looking for a savior 1919 01:39:21,282 --> 01:39:26,990 in these dirty streets ♪ 1920 01:39:27,032 --> 01:39:26,832 ♪ Looking for a savior 1921 01:39:27,032 --> 01:39:32,116 beneath these dirty sheets ♪ 1922 01:39:32,158 --> 01:39:31,958 ♪ I've been 1923 01:39:32,158 --> 01:39:35,200 raising up my hands ♪ 1924 01:39:35,241 --> 01:39:37,867 ♪ Drive another nail in ♪ 1925 01:39:37,909 --> 01:39:37,709 ♪ Where are those angels 1926 01:39:37,909 --> 01:39:43,742 when you need them? ♪ 1927 01:39:43,783 --> 01:39:45,743 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1928 01:39:45,784 --> 01:39:48,618 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1929 01:39:48,659 --> 01:39:51,409 ♪ Every day ♪ 1930 01:39:51,451 --> 01:39:53,951 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1931 01:39:53,992 --> 01:39:53,792 ♪ And nothing I do 1932 01:39:53,992 --> 01:39:57,075 is good enough for you ♪ 1933 01:39:57,117 --> 01:39:59,951 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1934 01:39:59,992 --> 01:40:02,785 ♪ Every day ♪ 1935 01:40:02,827 --> 01:40:05,285 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1936 01:40:05,327 --> 01:40:08,118 ♪ My heart is sick of being ♪ 1937 01:40:08,160 --> 01:40:07,960 ♪ I say my heart 1938 01:40:08,160 --> 01:40:10,952 is sick of being ♪ 1939 01:40:10,993 --> 01:40:15,577 ♪ In chai-ai-ains ♪ 1940 01:40:15,619 --> 01:40:17,536 ♪ Oh-oh ♪ 1941 01:40:17,578 --> 01:40:21,328 ♪ Chai-ai-ains ♪ 1942 01:40:21,369 --> 01:40:23,870 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1943 01:40:23,912 --> 01:40:23,712 ♪ Chains ♪ 1944 01:40:23,912 --> 01:40:27,828 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1945 01:40:27,870 --> 01:40:27,670 ♪ Every day ♪ 1946 01:40:27,870 --> 01:40:30,536 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1947 01:40:30,578 --> 01:40:30,378 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1948 01:40:30,578 --> 01:40:33,537 ♪♪ 1949 01:40:33,579 --> 01:40:33,379 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1950 01:40:33,579 --> 01:40:35,787 ♪ No ♪ 1951 01:40:35,829 --> 01:40:35,629 ♪ Chains, oh, yeah ♪ 1952 01:40:35,829 --> 01:40:39,495 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1953 01:40:39,537 --> 01:40:39,337 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1954 01:40:39,537 --> 01:40:42,787 ♪ Yeah, chains ♪ 1955 01:40:42,829 --> 01:40:42,629 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1956 01:40:42,829 --> 01:40:45,162 ♪♪ 1957 01:40:45,204 --> 01:40:45,004 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1958 01:40:45,204 --> 01:40:47,829 ♪ Never going back again ♪ 1959 01:40:47,871 --> 01:40:47,671 ♪ I crucify myself ♪ 1960 01:40:47,871 --> 01:40:50,580 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1961 01:40:50,622 --> 01:40:50,422 ♪ Again, you know ♪ 1962 01:40:50,622 --> 01:40:53,121 ♪ Why do we ♪ 1963 01:40:53,163 --> 01:40:52,963 ♪ Never going back again 1964 01:40:53,163 --> 01:40:54,538 to crucify myself ♪ 1965 01:40:54,580 --> 01:40:56,747 ♪ Crucify ourselves ♪ 1966 01:40:56,788 --> 01:41:01,330 ♪ Every day, yeah ♪ 150627

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