All language subtitles for Frasier.[07x19].Morning.Becomes.Entertainment.DVDRiP-WAT

Daphne.

Hey.
Hello.

I though you were spending
the afternoon with Dad.

He's in the loo.
Why don't you join us?

All right.
Thank you.

Hey, did you happen
to catch the show today?

I was on fire. First caller
was an agoraphobic-

boom! Knocked it
right out of the park.

Then two troubled marriages
and a compulsive overeater-

boom, boom! Boom!

I was a regular mental health
dispensing machine.

I did two loads of laundry

and cut a piece of gum
out of Eddie's hair.

Now, Daphne, don't
get down on yourself.

The work you do at home
is very important.

In fact, I don't know what

Dad and I are going to do
once you're married.

Thank you, Dr. Crane.

That makes me feel better.

Boom! Boy, there is
no "off" switch on this thing.

Sadly, that's true.

Oh, there she is,
the other half of our team.

Roz, are you still
as jazzed as I am?

They're taking us
off the air.

What? Since when?

While you were looking for
Gatorade to pour over yourself,

Kenny came by and said
he's yanking us for a week.

He wants to try out
that new show-

you know,Car Chat
with Bob and Bethany.

Car Chat with Bob and Bethany?

What the...?

Oh... touche, Kenny.

You are indeed

a worthy adversary,

but you shall find I have
a trick or two of my own.

You know,
Dr. Crane,

maybe a week off
would do you some good.

No, no, no,
you don't understand.

You see, I'm actually

renegotiating
my contract right now

and this is merely
the station's tactic

to try to get me to cave.

I hope you're right.

Of course I'm right.

Bob and Bethany,Car Chat.
Please.

How can anybody drone on
for three hours

about a subject
that nobody even understands?

Yeah, we were there first.

Don't worry,
Dr. Crane.

I'm sure you're right
about these things.

After all, you
usually are.

Why, thank you, Daphne.

That's exactly
what I needed to hear.

Boom.

Son.
Oh, hi, Dad.

Boy, they really did a job
in the men's room, didn't they?

Why, I hadn't noticed.

Oh, yeah,
completely redid it.

Fancy wallpapers,

bright new tile,
even those little perfumed soaps

that you like to use
at home, Fras.

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

You went into the ladies room,
you blind old sod.

I've been begging him
for months to get glasses.

Ladies room? You're crazy.
That guy was just in there.

Oh, hi, Bethany.
Uh, listen.

Good luck in the slot next week.

Thanks. We're pumped.

Granted, Dad, Bethany
may be a bit of a tough call,

but still, you know, it wouldn't
hurt to get a checkup.

Oh, come on,
don't you start, too.

There's nothing
wrong with my eyes.

Now, if you don't mind,
I just want

to sit here quietly,
and have an...

...have a drink of cream.

Do you have a problem with that?

Hello, Dr. Crane.

Oh. Hello, Daphne.

Say, you know, my agent Bebe
said she might be stopping by.

Have you heard anything?

No. And I hope she's
not staying for lunch.

I'm afraid we're
fresh out of live mice.

Hey, Fras.

Dad.

Is it my imagination,
or are those ladies glasses?

Yes, and don't you
say anything.

I had to drag him
down to the store.

He tried on every pair
in the place.

Those were
the only ones he liked.

So.

How do you like the new specs?

They certainly
are eye-catching.

Yeah.

You should have seen the looks
I got all day.

Mostly from women.

You know, I'd like
to think it was me,

but I got an idea
these frames were designed

with an eye
to pleasing the ladies.

I'd say that's
a safe assumption.

Daph, have
you seen

the case for them?

I don't know what I did with it.

Yeah, I think
I popped them into my purse.

Check my room.
Okeydoke.

Oh, wait'll you see
this case, Fras.

This Lauren guy really knows
what he's doing.

Ralph Lauren?

Sophia.

I'm amazed you can keep
a straight face all day.

I've done enough clothes
shopping with your father.

I'm pretty good
at pretending to like things

no matter how horrifying
I find them.

Bebe.

How nice to see you.

Frasier, my favorite client.

Seattle's golden-throated gift
to the airwaves.

I take it negotiations
aren't going so well.

You remember
that insulting figure

you said
you'd never accept?

They haven't
come up to it yet.

Oh, dear.

Knock, knock.

Oh, come on
in, Niles.

Bebe's just bringing
me up to speed

on the depressing news about
my contract negotiations.

Don't worry, dear.

I just need to find a way
to throw a scare into them.

Have you tried
turning into a bat?

I would, love,
but most grown men

don't share your fear
of tiny creatures.

Could you two
please catch up later?

I did get one offer

that I thought
might give us some leverage.

It's a TV job.

Television?

Unfortunately,
it's all wrong for you.

They want you and Roz to host
A.M. Seattlenext week.

That vapid morning chat show?

Exactly
what I told them.

Frasier Crane is a doctor.

He heals the masses;
he doesn't pander to them.

He's not going to do some

silly morning
kaffeeklatsch

no matter how
fabulously popular it is.

Well, that's
quite right, Bebe.

That sort of show is beneath me.

Exactly.

It's undignified.
Horribly.

Still...

I'm listening.

If there were a way to do it

with a bit more dignity,
some polish and substance.

Why didn't I think of that?

You know, a dash of high society
and a dollop of culture.

I can't believe
you're even considering this.

The show
is nothing more

than a melange of bad jokes

and mind-numbing banter.

Yes, but it doesn't have to be,
Niles, don't you see?

If I could choose
the guests myself.

You can.
And control the content.

You could.
Well, then I'd accept.

We did. I mean, we will.

In fact, why don't I call

them right now
with the exciting news.

May I?

On the balcony,
if you don't mind.

Mind?

I don't want a single puff

tearing up the baby blues
of TV's newest sensation.

By this time next week...
You heard him-

If you're going to blow smoke,
do it on the balcony.

Well, I can't say
I'm surprised.

What is that supposed to mean?

Only that something like this
was inevitable.

It's the final step
in your descent

from legitimate psychiatrist
to dancing bear.

Niles, we are
talking about doing

a sophisticated television show
for one week

in order to improve
my contract negotiations.

This has nothing to do with
your contract negotiations.

You have been an applause junkie

ever since you first set foot
on a grammar school stage.

I was drawn to the theater

because of its discipline
and collaborative spirit.

Oh, please.

In your sixth-grade production
ofOklahoma,

you took so many curtain calls,
Mrs. Van Raaphorst

had to lasso you
and pull you from the stage.

That woman never understood
me or the role

of farmer number three.

Oh, I'm just wasting my breath.

As usual, you have fallen
under the spell

of that sorceress
out there.

I have done
no such thing.

And I wish you'd
just lay off of Bebe.

She is not some
malign witch

who can transform
people at will.

I can't find a damn thing
in this purse.

If I say I'm sorry,

will she change Dad
back into a man?

Well, it took several
of your best people,

but I believe
they've finally wrestled

this feisty cowlick
of mine into submission.

So, are we, uh, ready to roll?

Not quite.
Your partner's not here.

Roz is not here?

But we are on in four minutes.

At this point,
a rerun is on in four minutes.

Don't worry, Matt,
she'll be here.

We won't have time
to put her through makeup.

A natural beauty like Roz?

Oh, please, darling.

Pinch her cheek, stand back
and watch her glow.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.
Roz.

Oh, for God's sake,
you look awful.

Are you sick?
No. Of course not.

I wouldn't be sick
for our big debut.

I'm totally fine.

Roz, you're burning up.

Well, it's kind of hot in here.

Maybe it's all these lights.

I'll just get this jacket off.

No, no. Roz, Roz.
Stop, stop, stop.

She's delirious.

With anticipation,
darling. Don't worry.

I'll calm her down.

Pull yourself together,

you hear me,
we need this show!

All right, everyone
we're doing a rerun.

Let the audience go,
cue the tapes.

Wait. Can't Frasier
do the show without her?

This is a chat show.

Who's he going to chat with?

Me. I'll go on with him.

You?

Pull yourself
together, Roz!

I don't think so, Bebe.

Why not? All he
needs is someone

to suck up to him,
laugh at his jokes,

pretend to listen
to his stories.

I'm his agent; for God's
sake, that's what I do.

You know, I believe
she could pull it off.

The problem is,
she needs to be likable.

Right. Do I at least
get to keep the suit?

Hold on.

I can be likable.

I can also be very unlikable.

Maybe if you explained
the difference

to poor, confused Bebe.

For instance, what you were
doing in the dressing room

with the wardrobe girl
an hour ago-

would your wife find that
likable or unlikable?

Could you put some makeup
on this woman now?

Okay, folks.
60 seconds.

All right, Bebe,
just follow my lead.

I'll introduce us and then we'll
get to our guests, all right?

Now, wasn't our first guest
Susan Sontag?

Oh, she had a conflict.

Don't worry.
We got a fabulous replacement.

"Baby Leo, the world's biggest
two-year-old"?

You're going to love him.

Just remember
to lift with your legs.

That's it. This
is unacceptable.

Oh, now who's
the world's biggest baby?

I will not do this show!
We're live in five,

four, three, two...

Hi. Welcome
toA.M. Seattle.

I'm Dr. Frasier Crane.

And I'm Bebe Glazer.

We're going to be
your hosts this week

and believe me,
we've got

some great shows
lined up for you.

But before we get
to our guests,

I'd like to take a few
moments to share with you

a few thoughts
I've prepared

on a very special
time of the day-

the time that we'll be
spending together-

Morning.

A new beginning.

A daily rebirth,
if you will.

What the hell is this?

Banter. Banter.

And even though
"A.M." stands for

"ante meridian,"

if you simply put them together,

they also make up the word "am,"
as in, "I am. "

Whoa.

Not before my coffee.

As you can see, Frasier
has a way with words

but did you also know
that he has a way with voices?

Excuse me?

Who wants to hear Frasier's

famous Sean Connery impression?

Now, now, Moneypenny,

you're embarrassing me.

Dr. Frasier Crane,
ladies and gentlemen.

Any more impressions, Frasier?

Maybe I should just...

Now, don't be shy.

Who wants to hear Frasier
do more impressions?

It's just that I'd hate

to take time away
from our other guests.

I- I believe that...

James Mason may be stopping by
to visit today.

Oh, yes!

This has been
some week.

It's really flown by.

Hasn't it?

Whoosh.

A whoosh.

I can't believe
it's time

for Thursday's
Kitchen Corner.

We'll be right back
with Chef Frasier.

Hang tight.

And we're clear.

Bebe, Kitchen Corner?

I thought we had
the violin prodigy up next.

For God's sake, we bumped
Kim Lee twice this week.

I know, but we're running
short of time,

and the cooking segment
is gonna be boffo.

Well, all right, but I insist

Kim Lee play over
the closing credits.

All right?
We're not running

some sort of a tacky run-
of-the-mill morning show.

Here's your chef's costume. Thank you.

Allow me, dear.

You know, Frasier.
Hmm?

The most magical thing
happened to me

last night during dinner.

Really?

I was recognized.

It's intoxicating,
isn't it?

Gosh, I myself,

no stranger
to celebrity,

have noticed
more heads

swiveling
in my direction.

Ooh.

We're back
in five, four,

three, two...

Welcome back.

Frasier, I hear you're
quite the gourmet.

Oh, please.

I don't do
anything fancy.

A few souffl?s,
a flamb? or two.

Just good eats.

Now, this morning,
I'm going to be making

my signature
breakfast for you-

that's Eggs
Palermo Fontana.

Mmm. Makes
my mouth water.

But before we start,

I have a little
sweetheart backstage

who's dying to come out
and give you a hand.

Is it Kim Lee?

Not even close.

It's Bobo,
the cooking chimp.

Oh, that's very funny.

This has Matt's
fingerprints all over it.

We thought

it might be great fun

if you were to match
your skills against his.

Well, I don't know,
Bebe, uh...

Well, let's let
the audience decide.

How many of you

want to see the
monkey make eggs?

How many of you want
to see Bobo make eggs?

Oh.

Just kidding.

Ouch.

Well, all right.

Apes before beauty.

Frasier.

Bobo.

May the best chef win.

Now, the first rule
of haute cuisine

is to be sure you have
all your ingredients

at hand, you see.

We have eggs, milk, butter,

spinach, and, of course,
our old friend, the shallot.

Why, look at that.

He's not even
preheating the pan.

The beast.

Bobo's getting
an early lead.

Yeah.

It's very important

to keep your eggs
light and fluffy.

So, what you want to do

is add a bit of milk
and a touch of flour.

Stop that.

Well, I...

Oh, he's a pesky
little chef, isn't he?

Oh, you crazy chimp.

Oh. Oh, my God.

And this whole thing
was improvised.

You're kidding.

It's like you
and the chimp

have been working
together for years.

Boy, that's great stuff,
Frasier.

You know, I can't
tell you how impressed

the guys at McGinty's

are that I have
such a famous son.

What do
they say?

Well, they don't say anything
to my face,

but when I walk in,

they kind of nudge
each other and whisper.

Oh.

That will be me
Shepherd's Pie.

Shepherd's Pie?

I must confess,
there's a part of me

that wishes I could still do
the TV show.

Well, there's a part
of me that wishes

that monkey was
cooking dinner

instead of you-know-who.

But we put our dreams away.

Oh, hi, Roz.

Well, don't you
look nice.

You're feeling better?
Yes, thank you.

Uh, can we talk?

Of course.
Come on in.

What's the matter?

Well, I talked
to my friends

in business affairs

and they say they're ready
to close our deals

but Bebe's
holding it up.

Of course, she's holding it up.

She's trying to
make them sweat a bit.

That's the
whole strategy

behind this TV
show- leverage.

Yeah, well,

um, I heard a rumor

thatA.M. Seattleisn't happy
with their regular hosts,

and I think
she's angling

for you
to take over.

So where does
that leave me?

Well, even if
that was Bebe's plan,

I mean, you're forgetting
that it's still my career,

and I'm calling the shots.

There is no way I would continue
doingA.M. Seattle.

You look like you're having
the time of your life.

I'm playing
a character.

There is a big difference

between Dr. Frasier Crane,
psychiatrist and Frasier Crane

the guy who starts
your morning right.

I tell you what.

I will speak to Bebe tomorrow
when we're in the chair.

That's the industry term

for when we're getting
our makeup put on.

Thanks, Frasier.

Yeah. Sure.

God, this is so weird.

Daphne usually has
such great taste.

What is she thinking
with these glasses?

Well, actually,
Roz, uh...

I've got to go see

what these
look like.

Hi, Roz.
Hey, Martin.

Hey.

Somebody ought to tell Mr. Doyle
she's wearing a dude's glasses.

Oh, Kiki,
you're a magician.

Frasier, you're not
going to believe

the wonderful news
I just got.

They want us to stay on.

What?
Yes.

We had the
highest ratings

the show's had
all year.

I don't
believe this.

Roz was right.

You had no intention
of renegotiating

my radio contract.

I don't expect
gratitude, Frasier-

just a little faith.

I finished your KACL contract
this morning.

You did?

And I did quite
a good job, I might add.

I'm sorry, Bebe.

I owe you
an apology.

Wow, this is wonderful.

I got an extra
week's vacation,

a very handsome raise.

It's garbage
compared to

what they'll give us
to stay on here.

You'll get
an expense account,

a wardrobe allowance,

not to mention
a car and driver.

No, no.

Let's not forget
why I took this job.

It was to raise
my profile

to get a better deal
with the radio contract.

We've done that, Bebe,
and I thank you.

You're welcome, darling.

And I respect
your choice.

Thanks.

Now, let's talk
about today's show.

Right.

We start with
the Friday Fiesta.

Here are our costumes.

Then we, uh, move on to

the Girl Scout
cookie-selling champion.

Then we...

Bebe, are you
all right?

I've spent my life
in the wings.

It was just nice

having my moment
in the spotlight.

The rush when

that little red light
on the camera turns on.

The strip
of masking tape

on my dressing
room door

with my name on it.

The stage-door
Johnnies,

or whatever
that strange man

with the autograph
book calls himself.

Admit it, darling,

you want this
as much as I do.

I saw it in your eyes

during the pie
eating contest.

Nobody loves
blueberries that much.

It's the audience
you love.

Are you ready for
Bebe and Frasier?

Listen to them.

They want you.

They do want me,
don't they?

Tell me to tear up
the contract, Frasier.

Maybe it is time
for a change.

Get away from him,
you she-thing!

Niles.

It's a good thing Dad
started choking on that peanut

or I'd have never have
come back here for water.

Stop this madness.

He can't stop it.
No one can.

Show business
is in his blood.

No, psychiatry is.

Frasier, you're a healer.

Anyone can heal.

You're better than that.

You're an entertainer.

Oh, God, Niles.

She's right.

I love the audience.

I know
it's shallow,

but it makes me
feel alive.

Do you have
any idea

how ridiculous you
look in this outfit?

Frasier,

I know I sometimes make light
of your radio show,

but the truth is,
you provide help and hope

and comfort to people
who need it.

I have always envied you that.

Don't listen
to that drivel!

He's right, Bebe.

I'm a psychiatrist.

I can't do
this show anymore.

I'm sorry.

Then quit.

Who needs you?

I'll find some other
stuffed shirt

who's happy to ride
my coattails to fame.

Niles, you're a doctor.

Niles, don't look into her eyes!

Well, that's it.

The dream is over.

30 seconds.

But I'm still a professional.

There's an audience out there

waiting for two people
to ride in on a donkey.

I don't know about you...

...but I'm not going
to let them down.

It's your last show.

Get out there.

Thanks, brother,

for keeping me grounded.

Vaya con dios.

Here they are,
Bebe and Frasier!

d Hey, baby,
I hear the blues a'callin'd

d Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs d

d Quite stylish d

d And maybe
I seem a bit confused d

d Well, maybe,
but I got you pegged d

d But I don't know what to do d

d With those tossed salads
and scrambled eggs d

d They're callin' again. d

Good night!