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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,505 --> 00:00:13,505 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:38,329 --> 00:00:39,562 There's no bell 3 00:00:39,564 --> 00:00:42,330 When you call for me 4 00:00:42,332 --> 00:00:45,401 You'll be falling for miles 5 00:00:46,503 --> 00:00:49,908 I'm bewitched by your misery 6 00:00:51,408 --> 00:00:54,977 But I love it when you smile 7 00:00:54,979 --> 00:00:57,915 Let me know what you want from me 8 00:00:59,082 --> 00:01:02,851 Whisper "love" in my ears 9 00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:05,790 Before you try to get your hooks in me 10 00:01:07,591 --> 00:01:11,860 I should warn you, my dear 11 00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:15,263 My heart is a haunted house 12 00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:19,200 Once you're in, you ain't getting out 13 00:01:19,202 --> 00:01:23,238 It's the trap you've been waiting for 14 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:26,974 Ain't no windows, ain't no doors 15 00:01:26,976 --> 00:01:30,115 No escaping the way you feel 16 00:01:31,749 --> 00:01:35,283 It's like a dream, but you hope it's real 17 00:01:35,285 --> 00:01:39,155 My, my, my heart 18 00:01:39,157 --> 00:01:45,093 - M-m-m-my heart is a haunted - Haunted house 19 00:01:46,997 --> 00:01:50,800 M-m-m-my heart is a haunted 20 00:01:50,802 --> 00:01:53,171 Haunted house 21 00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:13,754 My love. 22 00:02:13,756 --> 00:02:15,991 Cara mia. 23 00:02:15,993 --> 00:02:18,862 The ring! The ring! Oh, no! No, no, no! 24 00:02:27,004 --> 00:02:30,341 Oh, Thing! Best hand always has the ring! 25 00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:42,717 Dearly be-loathed, 26 00:02:42,719 --> 00:02:46,721 it is indeed a rare privilege to see our family 27 00:02:46,723 --> 00:02:50,358 gathered together for this Addams tradition. 28 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,661 To commence this ceremony 29 00:02:52,663 --> 00:02:54,196 and deliver these two 30 00:02:54,198 --> 00:02:58,234 into the yawning void of matrimony, 31 00:02:58,236 --> 00:03:02,874 we put the lime in the coconut and drink them both up. 32 00:03:10,313 --> 00:03:12,547 I now pronounce you... 33 00:03:12,549 --> 00:03:13,916 - Monsters! - Freaks! 34 00:03:13,918 --> 00:03:15,016 Get out, Addams! 35 00:03:15,018 --> 00:03:16,184 You've been here long enough! 36 00:03:16,186 --> 00:03:17,887 We've had enough of your kind! 37 00:03:17,889 --> 00:03:19,354 Addams aren't wanted here! 38 00:03:19,356 --> 00:03:20,822 Leave already! 39 00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:22,557 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 40 00:03:22,559 --> 00:03:23,726 Quick, put the lime in the coconut 41 00:03:23,728 --> 00:03:25,193 and drink 'em both up! 42 00:03:29,498 --> 00:03:31,432 Sorry, I couldn't help myself. 43 00:03:31,434 --> 00:03:32,836 This is our home! 44 00:03:33,871 --> 00:03:35,037 You're not wanted! 45 00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:36,238 We don't want you here! 46 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,076 Everyone, to the bridge! 47 00:03:42,445 --> 00:03:43,611 Fire! 48 00:03:43,613 --> 00:03:44,782 Fire! 49 00:04:00,598 --> 00:04:02,764 You two love bats better fly out of here! 50 00:04:02,766 --> 00:04:04,633 I'll hold them off! 51 00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,067 Mazurka! 52 00:04:09,606 --> 00:04:11,375 Grab onto my hairy hump! 53 00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:19,547 I think I can see my house from here. 54 00:04:19,549 --> 00:04:22,217 Oh, no. That's a women's prison. 55 00:04:22,219 --> 00:04:25,253 Oh, Gomez, why do hordes of angry villagers 56 00:04:25,255 --> 00:04:26,821 follow us everywhere we go? 57 00:04:26,823 --> 00:04:30,424 We are safe, my love, that is all that matters. 58 00:04:30,426 --> 00:04:32,260 I want to find a new home 59 00:04:32,262 --> 00:04:34,296 that is shrouded from the world. 60 00:04:34,298 --> 00:04:37,299 Someplace that is truly us. 61 00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:41,001 Yes! Somewhere horrible! Somewhere corrupt! 62 00:04:41,003 --> 00:04:43,237 Somewhere that no one in their right mind 63 00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:45,008 would be caught dead in! 64 00:04:55,786 --> 00:04:57,518 Unhappy, darling? 65 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,255 Yes, completely. 66 00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:03,592 Oh, Gomez, you have torn down my walls 67 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,294 and stabbed your name onto my heart. 68 00:05:08,097 --> 00:05:10,131 My wan temptress, 69 00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:12,202 your hand is as cold as a dead fish. 70 00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:15,804 My love, that is a dead fish. 71 00:05:15,806 --> 00:05:17,272 Mmm, mmm... 72 00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,543 So it is. 73 00:05:23,546 --> 00:05:25,046 Darling, 74 00:05:25,048 --> 00:05:28,850 is that a wrinkle I see on your pallid brow? 75 00:05:28,852 --> 00:05:30,051 What's wrong? 76 00:05:30,053 --> 00:05:32,188 We can't run forever, my love. 77 00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:34,056 I want a home again. 78 00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:36,792 I want our children to grow up in peace. 79 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:39,294 I want to pick out cemetery plots. 80 00:05:39,296 --> 00:05:43,231 Morticia, I swear on my life I will find us a new home. 81 00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:45,503 And your every wish shall be granted. 82 00:05:46,135 --> 00:05:47,736 Mon amour. 83 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:52,073 French. You know what that does to me. 84 00:05:53,544 --> 00:05:55,413 Wild thing 85 00:05:57,380 --> 00:05:58,648 You make my heart... 86 00:06:07,058 --> 00:06:08,926 We hit something! 87 00:06:16,666 --> 00:06:18,868 Is he all right? 88 00:06:18,870 --> 00:06:21,436 No, he seems perfectly demented. 89 00:06:21,438 --> 00:06:25,407 "State Hospital for the Criminally Insane." 90 00:06:25,409 --> 00:06:26,944 Gomez. 91 00:06:30,948 --> 00:06:32,679 That must be the asylum. 92 00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:34,215 Oh, thank goodness. 93 00:06:34,217 --> 00:06:36,684 A decent place to sleep for the night. 94 00:06:41,424 --> 00:06:42,426 Hmm? 95 00:06:43,294 --> 00:06:45,695 Thank you, old boy. Lead the way. 96 00:07:03,479 --> 00:07:06,080 It's quiet. Too quiet. 97 00:07:06,082 --> 00:07:07,652 Must be the off-season. 98 00:07:16,661 --> 00:07:17,728 Hello? 99 00:07:21,799 --> 00:07:23,164 There's no one here. 100 00:07:23,166 --> 00:07:25,400 Could it be abandoned? 101 00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:28,135 It's creepy. Kooky. 102 00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:31,075 Mysterious. Spooky. 103 00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:42,486 Huh? 104 00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:33,037 Get out! 105 00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:36,071 It's hideous. 106 00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:37,574 It's horrible. 107 00:08:38,208 --> 00:08:40,307 It's home. 108 00:10:24,414 --> 00:10:27,351 What a lovely morning! 109 00:10:30,319 --> 00:10:31,485 Nice try. 110 00:10:31,487 --> 00:10:35,322 Get out! 111 00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:38,628 Oh, you're always so grumpy before your morning coffee. 112 00:10:47,837 --> 00:10:48,970 Better? 113 00:11:06,856 --> 00:11:07,955 Lurch, 114 00:11:07,957 --> 00:11:09,125 it's time for breakfast. 115 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,844 Thing. 116 00:11:29,846 --> 00:11:32,650 Have Ichabod wake the children. 117 00:11:35,752 --> 00:11:38,552 Lurch, would you mind dusting the house? 118 00:11:38,554 --> 00:11:39,856 Mmm. 119 00:11:47,930 --> 00:11:49,830 Slowly, Cleopatra. 120 00:11:49,832 --> 00:11:52,736 I wouldn't want my favorite African Strangler to choke. 121 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:37,778 All right, Ichabod. I'm awake. 122 00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:39,717 Not for long. 123 00:12:40,951 --> 00:12:42,749 Real mature, Pugsley. 124 00:12:42,751 --> 00:12:44,119 Oh, please. 125 00:12:44,121 --> 00:12:46,321 You never threw an axe when you were my age? 126 00:12:46,323 --> 00:12:50,093 Of course I did. I never missed. 127 00:12:52,563 --> 00:12:54,262 How I wish something would liven up 128 00:12:54,264 --> 00:12:56,064 this already tedious day. 129 00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:01,771 Thanks for trying, Ichabod. 130 00:13:22,525 --> 00:13:23,760 Hmm. 131 00:13:49,653 --> 00:13:50,784 Pugsley? 132 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:54,321 Pugsley! It's time for sword practice. 133 00:13:54,323 --> 00:13:55,956 Pugsley! 134 00:13:55,958 --> 00:13:57,627 Let the games begin. 135 00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:28,058 Here's Pugsley! 136 00:14:44,874 --> 00:14:47,378 All right, son. That's enough. 137 00:14:48,944 --> 00:14:51,748 They blow up so fast these days. 138 00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:04,627 Don't make me come up there! 139 00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:12,803 This is your last warning! 140 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,983 My head. Ow, ow, ow. 141 00:15:27,985 --> 00:15:31,418 Pugsley, we're supposed to be working on your swordplay. 142 00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:33,622 Your Sabre Mazurka is two weeks away, 143 00:15:33,624 --> 00:15:35,623 and you've barely practiced at all. 144 00:15:35,625 --> 00:15:37,825 So I missed one practice. What's the big deal? 145 00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:39,761 The big deal? 146 00:15:39,763 --> 00:15:42,397 The Sabre Mazurka is the most important day 147 00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:43,663 in a young man's life. 148 00:15:43,665 --> 00:15:45,167 It's what makes you an Addams. 149 00:15:45,169 --> 00:15:48,268 It's the day your entire family gathers around you 150 00:15:48,270 --> 00:15:51,772 and passes judgment on your worth as a human being. 151 00:15:51,774 --> 00:15:53,273 I hear it's like Thanksgiving. 152 00:15:53,275 --> 00:15:56,243 But swords are so old-fashioned. 153 00:15:56,245 --> 00:15:58,113 I'm more of a demolitions man. 154 00:15:58,115 --> 00:16:02,653 Explosives have no place in a Mazurka. Hand them over. 155 00:16:06,122 --> 00:16:08,156 All of them. 156 00:16:08,158 --> 00:16:10,157 And the TNT. 157 00:16:10,159 --> 00:16:11,960 And the M-80s. 158 00:16:11,962 --> 00:16:15,363 Roman candles. Bang snaps. Holy Hand Grenades. 159 00:16:16,832 --> 00:16:21,536 Son, our family hasn't been all together in 13 years. 160 00:16:21,538 --> 00:16:23,638 They are coming from all over the world 161 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,974 to see you on your special day. 162 00:16:25,976 --> 00:16:28,011 I just want it to go perfectly. 163 00:16:28,977 --> 00:16:30,979 All right, Pop. I'll practice. 164 00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:32,513 That's my boy. 165 00:16:38,054 --> 00:16:40,287 Putrid. 166 00:16:40,289 --> 00:16:41,690 Mmm. Horrifying. 167 00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:43,060 I call spleen. 168 00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:46,694 Mmm... 169 00:16:46,696 --> 00:16:48,162 - Ah, ow... - Wednesday. 170 00:16:48,164 --> 00:16:49,830 Please, no ink stains on the table. 171 00:16:49,832 --> 00:16:51,733 Yes, Mother. 172 00:16:55,471 --> 00:16:57,205 Gomez, everyone we've invited 173 00:16:57,207 --> 00:16:58,906 to the Mazurka has threatened to come. 174 00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:01,808 I know. Isn't it wonderful? 175 00:17:02,913 --> 00:17:06,147 All Addamses under one roof again. 176 00:17:06,149 --> 00:17:07,916 Yes, but where will everyone sleep? 177 00:17:07,918 --> 00:17:10,350 We'll have Lurch fix up the mausoleum. 178 00:17:10,352 --> 00:17:11,852 It'll be like sleepaway camp. 179 00:17:13,122 --> 00:17:15,389 Very well, darling. 180 00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:20,194 Uncle Fester! 181 00:17:20,196 --> 00:17:21,862 Brother! 182 00:17:24,935 --> 00:17:26,234 Don't worry, I'm okay. 183 00:17:26,236 --> 00:17:28,336 The plate glass window broke my fall. 184 00:17:28,338 --> 00:17:30,737 Ha! Ha! 185 00:17:30,739 --> 00:17:32,573 Rick'em, rack'em, roar'em, buzz 186 00:17:32,575 --> 00:17:34,542 Addams is as Addams does 187 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,214 I am thrilled you're here! 188 00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:41,949 I'm not late, am I? 189 00:17:41,951 --> 00:17:44,651 Actually, we weren't expecting you for another two weeks. 190 00:17:44,653 --> 00:17:46,521 Huh. So, not late. 191 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,055 I apologize, darling. 192 00:17:48,057 --> 00:17:50,124 You see, I asked Fester to come early 193 00:17:50,126 --> 00:17:52,627 to help Pugsley with his Mazurka practice. 194 00:17:52,629 --> 00:17:54,395 Hey! 195 00:17:54,397 --> 00:17:55,463 No! No! 196 00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,764 Bad Kitty! That's a bad Kitty! 197 00:17:57,766 --> 00:17:59,032 If I'd known you were coming, 198 00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,801 I would have prepared the dungeon. 199 00:18:00,803 --> 00:18:03,704 Please, don't worry. I'll sleep in the attic. 200 00:18:03,706 --> 00:18:05,438 You won't even know I'm here. 201 00:18:05,440 --> 00:18:09,744 I've practiced that move in a lot of people's homes. 202 00:18:09,746 --> 00:18:12,213 Uncle, 203 00:18:12,215 --> 00:18:14,682 can you tell us what's beyond the gate? 204 00:18:17,586 --> 00:18:20,054 Why ever would you ask that, dear? 205 00:18:20,056 --> 00:18:22,523 I heard a strange noise in the fog earlier, 206 00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:24,157 and I should like to investigate. 207 00:18:24,159 --> 00:18:26,327 There's nothing out there but boring marshland. 208 00:18:26,329 --> 00:18:29,597 There must be something. We never go anywhere. 209 00:18:29,599 --> 00:18:32,332 Who knows the untold horrors we're missing out on. 210 00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:34,269 Darling, we have all the horror 211 00:18:34,271 --> 00:18:35,436 we need, right here. 212 00:18:35,438 --> 00:18:38,472 Uncle Fester can go wherever he likes. 213 00:18:38,474 --> 00:18:40,375 Now, now, there are some restrictions. 214 00:18:40,377 --> 00:18:42,444 You know, I can't go to the mall, 215 00:18:42,446 --> 00:18:44,512 or a zoo, or a building... 216 00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:45,612 When you're older, 217 00:18:45,614 --> 00:18:47,314 you can travel to your heart's content. 218 00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:50,120 But for now, it's safer for you here. 219 00:18:52,022 --> 00:18:53,524 Socrates, come. 220 00:18:55,191 --> 00:18:57,657 ...South America, Europe, China, 221 00:18:57,659 --> 00:19:00,360 Asia, most parts of Africa. 222 00:19:00,362 --> 00:19:02,332 I'm allowed in Antarctica! 223 00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:16,677 You're watching 224 00:19:16,679 --> 00:19:18,948 Home, Art and Garden television. 225 00:19:20,850 --> 00:19:23,818 The world's a big place, full of poor souls 226 00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:26,853 who don't know the difference between shiplap and Shinola. 227 00:19:26,855 --> 00:19:28,455 Well, I'm here to help. 228 00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:33,060 I take your uninspired living space 229 00:19:33,062 --> 00:19:36,129 and turn it into the perfect palace of your dreams. 230 00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:39,902 No matter how outdated your design sense, I can help you. 231 00:19:40,669 --> 00:19:42,203 My only flaw? 232 00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:44,171 Sometimes I care too much. 233 00:19:45,342 --> 00:19:47,308 I'm Margaux Needler, 234 00:19:47,310 --> 00:19:51,212 and I'm about to stage a Design Intervention! 235 00:19:51,214 --> 00:19:53,580 You're welcome in advance. 236 00:19:53,582 --> 00:19:55,550 Today, we're putting the finishing touches 237 00:19:55,552 --> 00:19:57,718 on our biggest project yet. 238 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,387 Assimilation. 239 00:19:59,389 --> 00:20:01,421 We didn't just make over a house. 240 00:20:01,423 --> 00:20:04,360 We made over a whole town! 241 00:20:05,428 --> 00:20:07,895 And in just two weeks, on our live season finale, 242 00:20:07,897 --> 00:20:09,030 you will be able to buy 243 00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:10,599 your very own piece of Assimilation. 244 00:20:10,601 --> 00:20:11,698 That's right! 245 00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:13,734 In a Design Intervention first, 246 00:20:13,736 --> 00:20:17,204 we are putting a whole neighborhood up for sale. 247 00:20:17,206 --> 00:20:19,005 This will be your chance to purchase 248 00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:20,140 the house of your dreams 249 00:20:20,142 --> 00:20:22,275 in the town of your dreams! 250 00:20:22,277 --> 00:20:24,512 Sounds good? I thought so. 251 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:27,014 Welcome to Assimilation, neighbor. 252 00:20:28,217 --> 00:20:29,550 This program brought to you 253 00:20:29,552 --> 00:20:30,618 by Neighborhood Peeps. 254 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,023 Your neighbors are watching! 255 00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:35,191 And, we're out! 256 00:20:36,191 --> 00:20:37,625 Love it. Perfect. 257 00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,494 Let's set up for the walk-through. 258 00:20:39,496 --> 00:20:40,828 Margaux, did that feel good to you? 259 00:20:40,830 --> 00:20:41,928 No, Glenn. 260 00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:44,299 We need more balloons, more confetti. 261 00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:46,367 - Roger that. - What are we selling here? 262 00:20:46,369 --> 00:20:49,436 Big dreams. You know how you get big dreams? 263 00:20:49,438 --> 00:20:50,804 - Uh... - With big ratings. 264 00:20:50,806 --> 00:20:52,072 - Got it. - Double the balloons. 265 00:20:52,074 --> 00:20:53,907 And I want a blizzard of confetti. 266 00:20:53,909 --> 00:20:55,475 I want so much confetti that we need 267 00:20:55,477 --> 00:20:57,611 snow patrols to find lost children. 268 00:20:57,613 --> 00:20:59,914 I bet my home improvement empire on this town. 269 00:20:59,916 --> 00:21:01,381 Every house must sell 270 00:21:01,383 --> 00:21:02,715 or we're out of business! 271 00:21:02,717 --> 00:21:04,918 - It's got to be perfect! - Mom! 272 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,654 You're never gonna believe this. 273 00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:07,754 What is it, Parker? 274 00:21:07,756 --> 00:21:10,558 I found a creepy mansion up on the hill! 275 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,992 I'm so glad you're exploring, Parker, 276 00:21:11,994 --> 00:21:13,962 but I don't have time to talk right now, sweetheart. 277 00:21:13,964 --> 00:21:15,596 Mama needs to help people. 278 00:21:15,598 --> 00:21:18,064 I need help. Aren't I people? 279 00:21:18,066 --> 00:21:19,833 Oh, you're cute. 280 00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,836 Don't you have Chipper 'N' Cheer practice this afternoon? 281 00:21:21,838 --> 00:21:23,138 Run along, honey. 282 00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:24,938 Now, Glenn, what are the numbers we're expecting? 283 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,340 - Well, if you look here... - Mom! 284 00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:28,644 Ugh! 285 00:21:38,254 --> 00:21:40,524 Left a bit. Up a bit. 286 00:21:40,957 --> 00:21:43,090 Now, down a bit. 287 00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:45,495 Perfect. 288 00:21:46,329 --> 00:21:50,130 And three, two, one... 289 00:21:55,037 --> 00:21:57,472 You made me miss! 290 00:21:57,474 --> 00:22:00,942 Do you know how long it took for me to set this up? 291 00:22:00,944 --> 00:22:02,842 Look, Pugsley... 292 00:22:02,844 --> 00:22:06,847 Your Mazurka's coming up, and, well, you're not ready. 293 00:22:06,849 --> 00:22:09,516 Even if I am the only one who sees it. 294 00:22:09,518 --> 00:22:11,552 So, pay attention, 295 00:22:11,554 --> 00:22:13,021 and you might actually get through this. 296 00:22:13,023 --> 00:22:14,024 Wait. 297 00:22:14,724 --> 00:22:17,226 You're going to help me? 298 00:22:17,893 --> 00:22:18,993 Why? 299 00:22:18,995 --> 00:22:21,628 Because you are my brother. 300 00:22:21,630 --> 00:22:26,032 And... I love you. 301 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,206 All right. How are you gonna help me? 302 00:22:33,208 --> 00:22:35,209 You see that hole over there? 303 00:22:35,211 --> 00:22:36,679 Go stand beside it. 304 00:22:37,813 --> 00:22:39,546 Uh... That hole? 305 00:22:39,548 --> 00:22:40,982 That hole. 306 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,884 Mmm... I don't get it. 307 00:22:46,555 --> 00:22:47,890 Whoa. 308 00:22:59,468 --> 00:23:01,702 Darling, not to criticize, 309 00:23:01,704 --> 00:23:04,038 but is that really as tight as you can make it? 310 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:05,872 I'm sorry, Gomez. 311 00:23:05,874 --> 00:23:08,908 I'm just a bit preoccupied with the Mazurka preparations. 312 00:23:08,910 --> 00:23:11,512 Oh, I am as well! 313 00:23:11,514 --> 00:23:13,981 I fear Pugsley is overconfident 314 00:23:13,983 --> 00:23:16,016 and doesn't truly understand 315 00:23:16,018 --> 00:23:18,619 the importance of this tradition. 316 00:23:18,621 --> 00:23:20,620 Good news, everybody. Pugsley's gone. 317 00:23:20,622 --> 00:23:22,889 Wednesday, I know that tone of voice. 318 00:23:22,891 --> 00:23:25,091 Dig up your brother. At once. 319 00:23:25,093 --> 00:23:26,726 You're weakening the gene pool. 320 00:23:26,728 --> 00:23:28,094 Hold on. 321 00:23:28,096 --> 00:23:29,263 What do you have there? 322 00:23:29,265 --> 00:23:32,466 I'm not sure. I like it. 323 00:23:32,468 --> 00:23:36,803 It's so... What's the word? The opposite of sad? 324 00:23:36,805 --> 00:23:38,607 Darling, bring that to me. 325 00:23:41,611 --> 00:23:44,978 Strange, there's usually a murderous clown 326 00:23:44,980 --> 00:23:47,214 attached to the other end of these. 327 00:23:47,216 --> 00:23:50,083 Wednesday, don't move! 328 00:23:50,085 --> 00:23:55,222 What, in the name of all that is unholy, is that? 329 00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:58,391 It tastes like cotton candy. 330 00:23:58,393 --> 00:24:00,293 How do you know what cotton candy tastes like? 331 00:24:00,295 --> 00:24:02,763 Tish, it was my youth. I made mistakes. 332 00:24:02,765 --> 00:24:05,465 Wednesday, wherever did this pink thing come from? 333 00:24:05,467 --> 00:24:06,833 Outside. 334 00:24:06,835 --> 00:24:09,139 They're everywhere. 335 00:24:15,945 --> 00:24:19,346 Strangest weather system I've ever seen. 336 00:24:25,188 --> 00:24:28,356 What is that? Where's it coming from? 337 00:24:28,358 --> 00:24:29,756 Wait, wait, wait. 338 00:24:29,758 --> 00:24:32,292 The fog, it's lifting. 339 00:24:32,294 --> 00:24:34,028 Well, that would only happen if... 340 00:24:34,030 --> 00:24:37,701 Someone drained the marsh. But who? 341 00:24:40,336 --> 00:24:43,137 A town. This is not good. 342 00:24:43,139 --> 00:24:44,371 We must go down there 343 00:24:44,373 --> 00:24:46,273 and introduce ourselves at once. 344 00:24:46,275 --> 00:24:50,045 This day is becoming most wonderfully disruptive. 345 00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:05,792 Let's keep going with the run-through, okay? 346 00:25:05,794 --> 00:25:06,894 Welcome back. 347 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,696 I'm so delighted to show you my house. 348 00:25:08,698 --> 00:25:11,732 You can own one just like it, just less large. 349 00:25:11,734 --> 00:25:14,635 Blah, blah, blah. Sconces, crown molding. 350 00:25:14,637 --> 00:25:17,871 Which leads us to what I call the Salon de Grandé. 351 00:25:17,873 --> 00:25:20,774 Cross here, turn, and then say something like, 352 00:25:20,776 --> 00:25:22,743 "Now, before I show you this view, 353 00:25:22,745 --> 00:25:24,378 "go to an antique store, 354 00:25:24,380 --> 00:25:26,981 "buy a chair, and reupholster it. 355 00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:28,919 "'Cause you're gonna wanna sit down for this." 356 00:25:31,853 --> 00:25:33,454 What? What's the matter? 357 00:25:33,456 --> 00:25:35,222 For heaven's sake, what's going on? 358 00:25:35,224 --> 00:25:37,994 Do I have something in my teeth? What is it? 359 00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:48,569 Not a single gargoyle. 360 00:25:48,571 --> 00:25:50,772 Maybe this isn't such a bad thing. 361 00:25:50,774 --> 00:25:52,874 We have been isolated here for a while. 362 00:25:52,876 --> 00:25:55,512 I could really see myself dying here. 363 00:25:57,714 --> 00:25:59,080 Play nice, Kitty. 364 00:26:00,216 --> 00:26:02,183 Well, no one is running at us 365 00:26:02,185 --> 00:26:05,619 with torches and pitchforks, so that's a plus. 366 00:26:05,621 --> 00:26:08,156 You know, darling, I don't think we'll need 367 00:26:08,158 --> 00:26:09,924 to put the family in the mausoleum. 368 00:26:09,926 --> 00:26:11,457 They can stay here! 369 00:26:11,459 --> 00:26:13,695 The family would never be comfortable. 370 00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,794 It will be years 371 00:26:14,796 --> 00:26:16,798 before rust and decay set in. 372 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,031 How you doing? 373 00:26:18,033 --> 00:26:20,303 It's all so... different. 374 00:26:21,771 --> 00:26:23,937 Pugsley, don't drink it all. 375 00:26:23,939 --> 00:26:26,573 This gentleman wants some, too. 376 00:26:26,575 --> 00:26:28,408 Sir, it's all right. 377 00:26:28,410 --> 00:26:30,311 He's had all his shots! 378 00:26:30,313 --> 00:26:31,811 What a nervous man. 379 00:26:31,813 --> 00:26:34,815 Come on, Tish, let's explore the neighborhood. 380 00:26:34,817 --> 00:26:36,483 I'm gonna pop in here for two minutes 381 00:26:36,485 --> 00:26:38,985 and I'll meet you in the town square. Agreed? 382 00:26:38,987 --> 00:26:40,090 Very well, darling. 383 00:26:40,989 --> 00:26:43,224 Good day, all. 384 00:26:44,494 --> 00:26:47,060 Don't let me interrupt your cup of joe 385 00:26:47,062 --> 00:26:49,464 or whoever you have in there. 386 00:26:49,466 --> 00:26:53,934 So, what's dark and bitter here other than yours truly? 387 00:26:53,936 --> 00:26:57,605 We have the Madagascar Emerald Peaberry, 388 00:26:57,607 --> 00:26:59,106 in a summer patchouli roast. 389 00:26:59,108 --> 00:27:03,343 It has notes of oak, cherry, and yoga. 390 00:27:03,345 --> 00:27:08,182 Hmm. You know, I'm looking for something a bit stronger. 391 00:27:08,184 --> 00:27:09,853 Ah! Let me try that. 392 00:27:14,489 --> 00:27:17,124 Mmm! Morticia, you have to try these coffee grounds. 393 00:27:17,126 --> 00:27:18,658 They have a wonderful grit! 394 00:27:18,660 --> 00:27:21,028 Just a moment, what am I hearing? 395 00:27:22,431 --> 00:27:23,863 This is where we all belong, yeah 396 00:27:23,865 --> 00:27:25,432 Everybody come together 397 00:27:25,434 --> 00:27:28,770 Sing our song, sing our song 398 00:27:28,772 --> 00:27:32,673 Life is really perfect We are one big family, yeah 399 00:27:32,675 --> 00:27:34,340 Everything is so much better 400 00:27:34,342 --> 00:27:36,446 When I'm like you and you're like me 401 00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:41,282 What's so great about being yourself 402 00:27:41,284 --> 00:27:44,151 When you can be like everyone else? 403 00:27:44,153 --> 00:27:48,488 Wow, that is absolutely horrible! 404 00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:52,326 It's easy to be happy when you have no choice 405 00:27:52,328 --> 00:27:55,696 Yes, it's easy to be happy when you have no choice 406 00:27:55,698 --> 00:27:57,798 Hold on, unless I miss my guess here, 407 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,701 I believe that is supposed to be music. 408 00:28:00,703 --> 00:28:01,869 They're greeting us with 409 00:28:01,871 --> 00:28:03,303 one of their traditional songs. 410 00:28:03,305 --> 00:28:04,870 Well, then, we ought to do the same. 411 00:28:04,872 --> 00:28:07,140 Wonderful idea, Fester. 412 00:28:07,142 --> 00:28:09,243 Isn't it great when we are all together? 413 00:28:09,245 --> 00:28:13,180 Say it again until you believe it 414 00:28:13,182 --> 00:28:15,215 I believe it 415 00:28:15,217 --> 00:28:16,652 We believe it 416 00:28:20,823 --> 00:28:22,555 I'd tip my hat to you 417 00:28:22,557 --> 00:28:24,891 I'd do just that 418 00:28:24,893 --> 00:28:27,395 Take it right off for you, But I haven't got a hat 419 00:28:28,931 --> 00:28:31,631 I'm just a college boy, even at that 420 00:28:32,768 --> 00:28:35,502 I'd tip my hat to you But I haven't got a hat 421 00:28:42,444 --> 00:28:44,276 What? What'd I do? 422 00:28:44,278 --> 00:28:45,579 How rude. 423 00:28:45,581 --> 00:28:47,880 Gomez, we should return home. 424 00:28:47,882 --> 00:28:50,951 Morticia, this is not the old country. 425 00:28:50,953 --> 00:28:53,454 True, these people are a little different. 426 00:28:53,456 --> 00:28:55,589 But deep down, we're all the same. 427 00:28:56,758 --> 00:28:59,126 We have to give them a chance. Get to know them. 428 00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:00,695 We have to win them over. 429 00:29:00,697 --> 00:29:02,398 "Win them over"? 430 00:29:03,131 --> 00:29:05,067 Well, good morning, neighbor! 431 00:29:05,567 --> 00:29:07,067 Margaux Needler. 432 00:29:07,069 --> 00:29:10,404 Gomez Addams. At your service. 433 00:29:10,406 --> 00:29:11,772 My wife, Morticia. 434 00:29:11,774 --> 00:29:12,906 Charmed. 435 00:29:12,908 --> 00:29:16,109 Our children, Wednesday, Pugsley. 436 00:29:16,111 --> 00:29:17,744 And my brother, Fester. 437 00:29:17,746 --> 00:29:18,878 Hey, neighbor! 438 00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,080 You know, we can see right into your windows? 439 00:29:21,082 --> 00:29:24,417 Nice to, uh, meet you. 440 00:29:24,419 --> 00:29:27,119 As your neighbor, I'd like to offer you 441 00:29:27,121 --> 00:29:29,223 the opportunity of a lifetime. 442 00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:31,492 How'd you like a free home makeover 443 00:29:31,494 --> 00:29:34,160 from a world-renowned interior designer? 444 00:29:34,162 --> 00:29:35,494 It will be a challenge, 445 00:29:35,496 --> 00:29:37,965 but I can beautify that old house of yours so fast, 446 00:29:37,967 --> 00:29:39,199 it'll make your head spin. 447 00:29:39,201 --> 00:29:40,301 I don't wanna brag, 448 00:29:40,303 --> 00:29:41,935 but mine already does that. Look. 449 00:29:44,473 --> 00:29:47,640 I should like to see what this plastic woman has to offer. 450 00:29:47,642 --> 00:29:50,644 Yes, well... When is a good time to stop by? 451 00:29:50,646 --> 00:29:53,446 Actually, Ms. Needler... 452 00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:55,448 Darling... 453 00:29:55,450 --> 00:29:58,285 Stop by anytime you'd like. 454 00:29:58,287 --> 00:30:00,486 Oh, wonderful! Then it's settled. 455 00:30:00,488 --> 00:30:02,822 I'll see you at your house, first thing tomorrow. 456 00:30:02,824 --> 00:30:06,426 You're welcome in advance! Ta! 457 00:30:08,363 --> 00:30:10,496 That woman seems deranged. 458 00:30:10,498 --> 00:30:12,631 Her face reminds me of a death mask. 459 00:30:12,633 --> 00:30:15,002 "Deranged"? "Death mask"? 460 00:30:15,004 --> 00:30:17,204 You tell me she's got halitosis, 461 00:30:17,206 --> 00:30:18,942 and I'm hearing wedding bells! 462 00:30:31,152 --> 00:30:36,223 Pugsley, this is the Addams family saber. 463 00:30:36,225 --> 00:30:39,025 300 years of Addams 464 00:30:39,027 --> 00:30:42,130 have danced the Mazurka with this blade. 465 00:30:42,797 --> 00:30:43,898 Uh-uh. 466 00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:46,500 Only when you've shown me you're ready. 467 00:30:46,502 --> 00:30:52,039 Your father was the greatest swordsman in Addams history. 468 00:30:52,041 --> 00:30:55,309 His Mazurka was the stuff of legends. 469 00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:58,078 So no pressure! 470 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,580 It's all right here, in the Mazurka handbook. 471 00:31:01,582 --> 00:31:05,051 Every Addams performs this rite of passage 472 00:31:05,053 --> 00:31:08,421 to show that you're prepared to defend your family. 473 00:31:08,423 --> 00:31:11,759 It sounds easy, but believe me, it's insane! 474 00:31:11,761 --> 00:31:12,926 Fester, hand him 475 00:31:12,928 --> 00:31:14,863 the goo-goo-ga-ga baby training sword. 476 00:31:15,663 --> 00:31:17,531 Pop? 477 00:31:17,533 --> 00:31:20,301 Has anyone ever failed the Mazurka? 478 00:31:20,303 --> 00:31:22,235 Once. Your third cousin, Xander. 479 00:31:22,237 --> 00:31:23,436 Never heard of him. 480 00:31:23,438 --> 00:31:24,871 Exactly. 481 00:31:24,873 --> 00:31:25,939 Music! 482 00:31:27,376 --> 00:31:28,841 There's someone at the door. 483 00:31:28,843 --> 00:31:32,446 Hi, guys. I'm going up to this creepy mansion. 484 00:31:32,448 --> 00:31:35,418 If you don't hear from me in 30 minutes, send backup. 485 00:31:41,823 --> 00:31:46,062 You rang? 486 00:31:51,065 --> 00:31:52,299 Yeah, no. 487 00:31:52,301 --> 00:31:54,201 Life's too short. See ya! 488 00:32:00,743 --> 00:32:02,074 Oh! 489 00:32:02,076 --> 00:32:04,578 Good morning, Kitty. 490 00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:06,249 Greetings, Ms. Needler. 491 00:32:09,451 --> 00:32:11,217 Wow. 492 00:32:11,219 --> 00:32:14,620 Good morning! I hope this isn't a bad time. 493 00:32:14,622 --> 00:32:16,622 The worst. Do come in. 494 00:32:16,624 --> 00:32:17,724 Glenn? 495 00:32:21,263 --> 00:32:23,129 Welcome to the neighborhood. 496 00:32:23,131 --> 00:32:24,499 Thank you. 497 00:32:26,368 --> 00:32:28,502 Oh, my! Hmm. 498 00:32:28,504 --> 00:32:30,670 Are you ready for your Margaux makeover? 499 00:32:30,672 --> 00:32:31,804 Quite. 500 00:32:31,806 --> 00:32:35,274 Pugsley's been climbing the walls in anticipation. 501 00:32:39,415 --> 00:32:41,017 Well, well, well! 502 00:32:42,150 --> 00:32:43,817 Let's take a look around, shall we? 503 00:32:43,819 --> 00:32:46,122 And before you say anything, you're welcome. 504 00:32:47,156 --> 00:32:51,091 Now, if we're trying for a more contemporary look, 505 00:32:51,093 --> 00:32:53,694 well, these sconces have to go. 506 00:32:56,165 --> 00:32:58,764 The sconces were a gift from dead relatives. 507 00:32:58,766 --> 00:32:59,966 If we get rid of them, 508 00:32:59,968 --> 00:33:02,938 they'll be terribly hurt the next time they visit. 509 00:33:04,805 --> 00:33:07,340 And this is our whine cellar. 510 00:33:07,342 --> 00:33:10,343 We have a lovely collection of whines. 511 00:33:10,345 --> 00:33:11,878 - Are we there yet? - I want ice cream! 512 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:13,680 What do you mean you're out of avocado toast? 513 00:33:13,682 --> 00:33:16,215 This barrel makes me look fat. 514 00:33:16,217 --> 00:33:18,217 And here's our bottomless pit. 515 00:33:19,955 --> 00:33:22,188 Uh... How do we get across? 516 00:33:22,190 --> 00:33:23,358 One moment. 517 00:33:36,671 --> 00:33:39,141 We call this surfing the web. 518 00:33:42,977 --> 00:33:44,580 Well! 519 00:33:45,247 --> 00:33:46,378 I'm scared. 520 00:33:46,380 --> 00:33:47,880 I'm so scared. 521 00:33:47,882 --> 00:33:50,818 Oh, my gosh. 522 00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,218 I'm scared to close my eyes. 523 00:33:52,220 --> 00:33:53,320 I'm scared to open them. 524 00:34:13,842 --> 00:34:17,544 How do all those people fit in that little contraption? 525 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,782 My vanity mirror only imprisons 14 souls at a time. 526 00:34:23,119 --> 00:34:24,454 Uh, you don't have a cell phone? 527 00:34:25,188 --> 00:34:26,686 That's weird. 528 00:34:26,688 --> 00:34:29,122 I may not have a cell phone... 529 00:34:29,124 --> 00:34:31,124 Well, you don't have a crossbow, 530 00:34:31,126 --> 00:34:32,928 and I thought everybody had one of those. 531 00:34:35,131 --> 00:34:36,199 Mmm. 532 00:34:36,898 --> 00:34:38,231 My name is Wednesday. 533 00:34:38,233 --> 00:34:39,332 Okay. 534 00:34:39,334 --> 00:34:43,236 Uh, I'm Parker. How long have you lived here? 535 00:34:43,238 --> 00:34:47,774 My whole life. Which seems endless. 536 00:34:47,776 --> 00:34:49,608 I've never seen you at school. 537 00:34:49,610 --> 00:34:50,945 I'm cage-schooled. 538 00:34:50,947 --> 00:34:52,945 - Excuse me? - It's terribly dull, 539 00:34:52,947 --> 00:34:54,382 but my mother insists. 540 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:00,754 I'm actually cutting cage right now. 541 00:35:03,657 --> 00:35:04,925 Uh, okay. 542 00:35:04,927 --> 00:35:06,926 So, what happens at your school? 543 00:35:06,928 --> 00:35:10,296 Uh, not much, just friends turning on each other. 544 00:35:10,298 --> 00:35:12,999 Girls making other girls feel bad about themselves. 545 00:35:13,001 --> 00:35:14,300 Typical junior high stuff. 546 00:35:14,302 --> 00:35:15,303 Intriguing. 547 00:35:18,673 --> 00:35:21,274 Can anyone go to your school? 548 00:35:21,276 --> 00:35:23,776 I guess so. But who'd want to? 549 00:35:23,778 --> 00:35:24,780 Wednesday! 550 00:35:25,581 --> 00:35:26,983 Great shot! 551 00:35:43,865 --> 00:35:47,466 Mr. and Mrs. Addams, there's really not much to do 552 00:35:47,468 --> 00:35:49,269 to make this place perfect. 553 00:35:49,271 --> 00:35:52,604 All we have to do is pull down the side walls, 554 00:35:52,606 --> 00:35:55,508 and then also break down the other two walls. 555 00:35:56,678 --> 00:36:00,847 Open up the ceiling by breaking it irreversibly. 556 00:36:00,849 --> 00:36:03,649 Just get this nasty little floor out of the way, 557 00:36:03,651 --> 00:36:07,519 and there you go. With just those little touches... 558 00:36:07,521 --> 00:36:09,789 Stop! Right there! 559 00:36:09,791 --> 00:36:11,658 Don't touch another thing! 560 00:36:11,660 --> 00:36:15,762 It's perfect. Ms. Needler, you have a gift. 561 00:36:15,764 --> 00:36:18,631 The good news is I can have a makeover crew up here 562 00:36:18,633 --> 00:36:20,800 and swinging hammers first thing in the morning. 563 00:36:20,802 --> 00:36:21,803 What do you say? 564 00:36:22,671 --> 00:36:24,336 We thought you were finished. 565 00:36:24,338 --> 00:36:26,372 Our whole family is coming in two weeks. 566 00:36:26,374 --> 00:36:27,740 Our finale! 567 00:36:27,742 --> 00:36:30,176 Our finale is in two weeks. 568 00:36:30,178 --> 00:36:31,745 Thank you, Glenn. 569 00:36:31,747 --> 00:36:33,680 It's a gracious offer, Ms. Needler, 570 00:36:33,682 --> 00:36:35,082 but you really have done enough. 571 00:36:35,084 --> 00:36:38,187 It's our son's Mazurka. You understand. 572 00:36:38,553 --> 00:36:39,722 Thank you. 573 00:36:44,526 --> 00:36:45,992 Uh, we're missing Mitch. 574 00:36:45,994 --> 00:36:46,996 Where's Mitch? 575 00:36:47,762 --> 00:36:51,700 Get out! 576 00:36:52,767 --> 00:36:54,734 Mitch who? 577 00:36:57,039 --> 00:36:59,071 Gomez, I'll be blunt. 578 00:36:59,073 --> 00:37:02,242 I have 50 houses to sell down there, 579 00:37:02,244 --> 00:37:07,713 and their view of your property is, well, off-brand. 580 00:37:07,715 --> 00:37:10,917 - Fifty houses? - Yes. 581 00:37:10,919 --> 00:37:12,619 You know, ever since my family 582 00:37:12,621 --> 00:37:14,653 was chased out from the old country, 583 00:37:14,655 --> 00:37:18,024 my one dream has been 584 00:37:17,059 --> 00:37:19,725 to find a place we could call home. 585 00:37:19,727 --> 00:37:22,595 Once they see Assimilation, 586 00:37:22,597 --> 00:37:25,231 I think they'll want to stay for good. 587 00:37:26,535 --> 00:37:30,403 Thank you so much for coming by, Membrane. 588 00:37:30,405 --> 00:37:31,738 It's Margaux! 589 00:37:31,740 --> 00:37:34,106 Well then, run, Margaux! 590 00:37:34,108 --> 00:37:36,778 Run, run, run! 591 00:37:42,985 --> 00:37:45,718 That Wednesday girl is a freak. 592 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:49,088 We're about to be invaded by a whole army of freaks. 593 00:37:49,090 --> 00:37:50,990 It's tragic when people can't accept 594 00:37:50,992 --> 00:37:53,359 the help they so badly need. 595 00:37:53,361 --> 00:37:54,861 And when that happens, 596 00:37:54,863 --> 00:37:58,234 well, another kind of intervention is called for. 597 00:37:59,934 --> 00:38:01,667 I agree, Gomez. 598 00:38:01,669 --> 00:38:04,504 The whole family moving here would be a dream come true. 599 00:38:04,506 --> 00:38:06,740 But I don't trust that Margaux woman. 600 00:38:06,742 --> 00:38:09,778 She's an eccentric, darling, give her a chance. 601 00:38:10,579 --> 00:38:13,613 "Rasp-berry preserves." 602 00:38:13,615 --> 00:38:14,814 Mmm. 603 00:38:14,816 --> 00:38:17,816 Must be some kind of scented embalming fluid. 604 00:38:19,787 --> 00:38:22,256 Wednesday, practice your lurking 605 00:38:22,258 --> 00:38:24,258 on someone other than your father. 606 00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:25,461 He's too easy. 607 00:38:27,595 --> 00:38:28,829 Much better. 608 00:38:28,831 --> 00:38:31,597 Mother, Father, I'd like to speak with you. 609 00:38:31,599 --> 00:38:34,200 What's on your mind, my little nightcrawler? 610 00:38:34,202 --> 00:38:35,936 I spoke with Parker this afternoon. 611 00:38:35,938 --> 00:38:38,537 She's the daughter of that talking mannequin 612 00:38:38,539 --> 00:38:39,872 who came by. 613 00:38:39,874 --> 00:38:41,707 She told me about a communal school 614 00:38:41,709 --> 00:38:43,376 all the neighborhood children attend. 615 00:38:43,378 --> 00:38:45,979 It's called "junior high." 616 00:38:45,981 --> 00:38:48,682 "Junior high"... 617 00:38:48,684 --> 00:38:51,184 Yes, yes, I have read about those 618 00:38:51,186 --> 00:38:53,620 in my abnormal psychology journals. 619 00:38:53,622 --> 00:38:55,521 Anyone of age can enroll. 620 00:38:55,523 --> 00:38:59,626 I think it would be good for me. 621 00:38:59,628 --> 00:39:01,995 Well, I think it's a capital idea. 622 00:39:01,997 --> 00:39:03,296 What of your studies here? 623 00:39:03,298 --> 00:39:06,131 Your taxidermy is coming along so well. 624 00:39:06,133 --> 00:39:08,535 Mother, would you really deprive me 625 00:39:08,537 --> 00:39:11,838 of the opportunity to torment children my own age? 626 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,307 Ah, she makes a point. 627 00:39:14,309 --> 00:39:16,341 What's more, with Wednesday in school, 628 00:39:16,343 --> 00:39:19,014 we'd get to know the people here even better. 629 00:39:19,414 --> 00:39:21,082 Well, Mother? 630 00:39:35,097 --> 00:39:37,332 Have a good day at school, dear. 631 00:39:39,101 --> 00:39:40,403 Do your worst! 632 00:39:46,207 --> 00:39:50,412 Ah. Now I understand. This is a children's prison. 633 00:39:53,215 --> 00:39:54,883 Who's that? 634 00:39:55,517 --> 00:39:57,052 Great. 635 00:39:58,352 --> 00:39:59,454 This is Wednesday. 636 00:39:59,787 --> 00:40:01,921 Hello. 637 00:40:01,923 --> 00:40:03,624 Hey, Parker. 638 00:40:05,026 --> 00:40:07,129 I got something for ya. 639 00:40:09,064 --> 00:40:10,896 A moldy sandwich? 640 00:40:10,898 --> 00:40:12,731 You're slipping, Bethany. 641 00:40:12,733 --> 00:40:14,566 You know what? You're right. 642 00:40:14,568 --> 00:40:17,305 Let's kick it up a notch. 643 00:40:25,113 --> 00:40:27,381 You have no sense of humor! 644 00:40:28,584 --> 00:40:30,649 - Did you see her face? - I know. 645 00:40:30,651 --> 00:40:31,653 Bethany, is it? 646 00:40:32,921 --> 00:40:37,256 Don't cut your eyes on my crew unless you're ready to dance. 647 00:40:37,258 --> 00:40:41,162 What did you say, little ghoul? 648 00:40:41,963 --> 00:40:44,396 I don't think you understand. 649 00:40:44,398 --> 00:40:47,600 I'm not locked up in here with you, Bethany. 650 00:40:47,602 --> 00:40:51,803 You're locked up in here with me. 651 00:40:55,642 --> 00:40:56,811 Whatever. 652 00:40:59,079 --> 00:41:00,613 What did you do? 653 00:41:00,615 --> 00:41:01,981 You shouldn't have said that. 654 00:41:01,983 --> 00:41:05,318 There's nothing you can do. Bethany's way too popular. 655 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,086 Popularity is fleeting. 656 00:41:07,088 --> 00:41:08,821 I prefer to set my sights 657 00:41:08,823 --> 00:41:11,291 on something a little more challenging. 658 00:41:11,293 --> 00:41:12,959 Like what? 659 00:41:12,961 --> 00:41:15,264 The establishment. 660 00:41:31,345 --> 00:41:35,615 Let's see. Who shall I be today? 661 00:41:35,617 --> 00:41:36,849 How about... 662 00:41:36,851 --> 00:41:39,486 Ah, Shelly Longbottom, on Sugar Ridge Lane. 663 00:41:39,488 --> 00:41:42,457 From Shelly Longbottom to everyone, 664 00:41:43,124 --> 00:41:45,291 "Did you hear 665 00:41:45,293 --> 00:41:48,695 "about those Addams people?" Question mark. 666 00:41:48,697 --> 00:41:52,401 "Someone told me they're wanted in 30 states." 667 00:41:55,537 --> 00:41:58,338 You know they're raising a garden of man-eating plants? 668 00:41:58,340 --> 00:41:59,838 And feeding them our pets! 669 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:01,874 Has anyone seen my Shih Tzu Fee-fee? 670 00:42:01,876 --> 00:42:04,042 They're gonna turn us all into zombies. 671 00:42:04,044 --> 00:42:05,678 Where are they from anyways? 672 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:06,812 It doesn't matter! 673 00:42:06,814 --> 00:42:08,481 It's obvious they don't belong here. 674 00:42:08,483 --> 00:42:11,517 Honey! Oh, those awful people up on the hill. 675 00:42:11,519 --> 00:42:13,553 They're not even on Neighborhood Peeps! 676 00:42:13,555 --> 00:42:15,088 Well, that's suspicious. 677 00:42:15,090 --> 00:42:16,988 If other people are scared, then I'm scared. 678 00:42:16,990 --> 00:42:18,323 I believe everything I read. 679 00:42:18,325 --> 00:42:19,992 If someone posted it, 680 00:42:19,994 --> 00:42:21,361 it must be true. 681 00:42:21,363 --> 00:42:22,595 You invite one family in, 682 00:42:22,597 --> 00:42:23,696 then all the families come in. 683 00:42:23,698 --> 00:42:24,865 Do you think we should investigate? 684 00:42:24,867 --> 00:42:25,932 I'm turning grey. 685 00:42:25,934 --> 00:42:27,566 I'm worried for the children! 686 00:42:27,568 --> 00:42:29,237 We need to talk to Margaux! 687 00:42:32,372 --> 00:42:34,407 Open your books. Page 43. 688 00:42:34,409 --> 00:42:36,274 Follow the instructions. 689 00:42:36,276 --> 00:42:38,410 - Yuck. - Oh. 690 00:42:38,412 --> 00:42:40,546 I've done this thousands of times. 691 00:42:44,887 --> 00:42:45,888 Huh? 692 00:42:56,432 --> 00:42:57,967 Flip the switch! 693 00:43:16,617 --> 00:43:20,288 Give my creature life! 694 00:43:26,628 --> 00:43:30,064 Live! Live, I tell you, live! 695 00:43:48,316 --> 00:43:51,352 It's alive! It's alive! 696 00:44:09,436 --> 00:44:11,970 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Get them off me! 697 00:44:20,481 --> 00:44:22,682 Zombie frogs! 698 00:44:22,684 --> 00:44:24,620 Bethany's changed her look. 699 00:44:25,019 --> 00:44:26,184 It suits her. 700 00:44:26,186 --> 00:44:28,720 Awesome. Totally awesome. 701 00:44:28,722 --> 00:44:30,122 It is an honor... 702 00:44:30,124 --> 00:44:31,291 ...and a privilege... 703 00:44:31,293 --> 00:44:32,459 ...to watch you work. 704 00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:35,062 Hey. Do you wanna go to the mall? 705 00:44:35,064 --> 00:44:38,898 Why not? I haven't seen a good mauling in ages. 706 00:45:00,153 --> 00:45:02,921 It's late. I'm worried. 707 00:45:02,923 --> 00:45:05,224 Darling, Wednesday will be fine. 708 00:45:05,226 --> 00:45:06,725 She can take care of herself. 709 00:45:06,727 --> 00:45:09,028 It's not Wednesday I'm worried about. 710 00:45:09,030 --> 00:45:12,231 It's the rest of them. We may need to provide an alibi. 711 00:45:12,233 --> 00:45:14,700 My love, it's game night. 712 00:45:14,702 --> 00:45:15,901 Wednesday will be home soon, 713 00:45:15,903 --> 00:45:18,039 so why don't you come and join us? 714 00:45:18,773 --> 00:45:21,874 Oh, very well. F-6. 715 00:45:21,876 --> 00:45:24,242 Pugsley, you heard your mother. 716 00:45:24,244 --> 00:45:26,247 Blow F-6! 717 00:45:28,082 --> 00:45:29,515 Fire in the hole! 718 00:45:29,517 --> 00:45:31,517 I'm king of the world! 719 00:45:31,519 --> 00:45:34,720 Near, far, wherever... 720 00:45:42,229 --> 00:45:43,729 Yes! 721 00:45:43,731 --> 00:45:45,432 You sunk my battleship. 722 00:45:45,434 --> 00:45:47,736 Ha-ha! Well done, Pugsley! 723 00:45:56,644 --> 00:45:58,477 Hello, my uglies! 724 00:45:58,479 --> 00:46:02,148 Mother! I thought I felt my skin crawling! 725 00:46:03,918 --> 00:46:05,885 Grandma, what a surprise. 726 00:46:05,887 --> 00:46:07,486 I thought you were in Prague. 727 00:46:07,488 --> 00:46:08,921 I was! 728 00:46:08,923 --> 00:46:11,423 They caught me smuggling crocodiles out of the zoo. 729 00:46:11,425 --> 00:46:13,093 But I escaped and talked my way 730 00:46:13,095 --> 00:46:14,894 onto a Somali pirate ship. 731 00:46:14,896 --> 00:46:16,495 We got into a heated poker game 732 00:46:16,497 --> 00:46:18,832 and I cleaned them out. 733 00:46:18,834 --> 00:46:20,666 - Cheating or robbery? - Both! 734 00:46:20,668 --> 00:46:22,468 Always remember, Pugsley, 735 00:46:22,470 --> 00:46:25,504 it ain't cheating if no one catches you. 736 00:46:25,506 --> 00:46:27,941 I haven't bathed in two weeks. Ugh. 737 00:46:27,943 --> 00:46:29,309 Or is it months? 738 00:46:29,311 --> 00:46:31,343 Ha! That reminds me. 739 00:46:31,345 --> 00:46:33,280 Guess what I've got, Pugsley? 740 00:46:33,282 --> 00:46:35,682 - Candy! - Oh, yes! 741 00:46:35,684 --> 00:46:37,751 But the Mazurka isn't for a week. 742 00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:39,417 Why are you here so early? 743 00:46:39,419 --> 00:46:42,122 Gomez said you needed a little help with the party. 744 00:46:42,124 --> 00:46:45,191 And I said, I got my son ready for his Mazurka, 745 00:46:45,193 --> 00:46:48,794 so of course, I'm going to do the same for my grandson. 746 00:46:48,796 --> 00:46:50,129 I love him! 747 00:46:50,131 --> 00:46:52,131 It's true! I sent for her! 748 00:46:52,133 --> 00:46:53,899 I can't believe you bothered 749 00:46:53,901 --> 00:46:55,503 your mother with that, darling. 750 00:46:56,003 --> 00:46:57,169 Neither can I? 751 00:46:57,171 --> 00:46:58,870 He said you were in over your head. 752 00:46:58,872 --> 00:47:00,039 Thank you, Mother! 753 00:47:00,041 --> 00:47:02,374 Said you were more tense than he's ever seen you. 754 00:47:02,376 --> 00:47:04,776 - I didn't say that exactly. - Yes, you did. 755 00:47:04,778 --> 00:47:06,546 You said that exactly. 756 00:47:06,548 --> 00:47:07,680 Said he was worried 757 00:47:07,682 --> 00:47:10,149 you'd have a massive facial expression and... 758 00:47:10,151 --> 00:47:12,050 You know, I'm starving! Let's eat! 759 00:47:12,052 --> 00:47:14,854 Not until Wednesday gets home. 760 00:47:14,856 --> 00:47:17,356 Where is that granddaughter of mine? 761 00:47:17,358 --> 00:47:19,160 I got something for her! 762 00:47:20,996 --> 00:47:23,562 Ah, there's my little storm cloud! 763 00:47:23,564 --> 00:47:26,064 Wednesday, where have you been? 764 00:47:26,066 --> 00:47:27,367 Elsewhere. 765 00:47:37,512 --> 00:47:39,211 What are you wearing? 766 00:47:39,213 --> 00:47:41,747 Parker calls it a pop of color. 767 00:47:41,749 --> 00:47:43,349 While I certainly appreciate a horse 768 00:47:43,351 --> 00:47:44,517 with a spear through its head, 769 00:47:44,519 --> 00:47:45,584 the color is... 770 00:47:45,586 --> 00:47:47,586 She claims it brings out my smile. 771 00:47:47,588 --> 00:47:49,988 Wednesday, you don't have a smile. 772 00:47:49,990 --> 00:47:51,524 Turns out I have a lot of things 773 00:47:51,526 --> 00:47:52,828 you don't know about. 774 00:47:56,865 --> 00:47:58,898 I see I got here just in time. 775 00:47:58,900 --> 00:48:00,633 You were right to call, Gomez. 776 00:48:00,635 --> 00:48:02,869 I'll talk to her. Hand me that bear trap. 777 00:48:02,871 --> 00:48:06,275 Thank you, Grandma. But I will handle this. 778 00:48:06,874 --> 00:48:08,276 Ah, suit yourself. 779 00:48:11,378 --> 00:48:14,814 When you're done with Fabio, send him up to my room. 780 00:48:14,816 --> 00:48:17,052 - Ooh-hoo-hoo. - Oh, boy! 781 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:21,419 Wednesday. 782 00:48:21,421 --> 00:48:23,756 How would you like to join me tomorrow 783 00:48:23,758 --> 00:48:28,294 after the school for tea and séance in the cemetery? 784 00:48:28,296 --> 00:48:30,028 Is attendance mandatory? 785 00:48:30,030 --> 00:48:31,731 Come now, my little raven. 786 00:48:31,733 --> 00:48:34,200 You did so love it when you were younger. 787 00:48:34,202 --> 00:48:35,570 If you like, Mother. 788 00:48:37,738 --> 00:48:39,439 Sleep well, dear. 789 00:48:39,441 --> 00:48:41,977 Don't forget to kick your father good night. 790 00:48:47,314 --> 00:48:48,747 What's your favorite filter? 791 00:48:48,749 --> 00:48:52,051 I don't know. I look black and white in all of them. 792 00:48:52,053 --> 00:48:53,385 You know, when I met you, 793 00:48:53,387 --> 00:48:55,120 I thought you were super weird. 794 00:48:55,122 --> 00:48:56,921 But now, I think you're really cool. 795 00:48:56,923 --> 00:48:58,157 I concur. 796 00:48:58,159 --> 00:49:00,325 You're not completely devoid of merit yourself. 797 00:49:00,327 --> 00:49:02,430 I wanna say "thank you"... 798 00:49:04,898 --> 00:49:05,965 Oh, how'd that barrette 799 00:49:05,967 --> 00:49:07,399 you bought yesterday go over at home? 800 00:49:07,401 --> 00:49:11,671 Actually, my mother's reaction was, well, unexpected. 801 00:49:11,673 --> 00:49:15,307 She was accepting. It depressed me. 802 00:49:15,309 --> 00:49:18,611 One never wants to see one's mother that way. 803 00:49:18,613 --> 00:49:19,812 But I must admit, 804 00:49:19,814 --> 00:49:24,682 walking around in something so garish, so grotesque... 805 00:49:24,684 --> 00:49:26,785 I was shocked how thrilling it felt. 806 00:49:26,787 --> 00:49:29,354 I wish I could do that. 807 00:49:29,356 --> 00:49:31,090 But my mom makes me wear this stuff, 808 00:49:31,092 --> 00:49:33,093 and it's just so... 809 00:49:33,095 --> 00:49:37,296 I believe the word you're looking for is "unfortunate." 810 00:49:37,298 --> 00:49:40,700 Ugh. I'd love to just go crazy 811 00:49:40,702 --> 00:49:43,271 and wear something that would shock her. 812 00:49:44,439 --> 00:49:45,671 Well, Parker, 813 00:49:45,673 --> 00:49:46,838 you're in luck. 814 00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:50,211 You happen to be talking to the queen of shock. 815 00:50:11,298 --> 00:50:12,463 Hello, Mother. 816 00:50:12,465 --> 00:50:14,633 Where's my little wraith? 817 00:50:14,635 --> 00:50:16,568 Wednesday still hasn't arrived. 818 00:50:16,570 --> 00:50:19,204 We agreed to come up here for tea and séance, 819 00:50:19,206 --> 00:50:21,840 and now it seems she stood me up. 820 00:50:21,842 --> 00:50:23,575 Morticia! Can you hear me? 821 00:50:23,577 --> 00:50:24,977 You're not doing it right. 822 00:50:24,979 --> 00:50:26,312 - Press that button there. - I did! I did! 823 00:50:26,314 --> 00:50:27,379 Did you hear it click? 824 00:50:27,381 --> 00:50:28,479 Morticia! 825 00:50:28,481 --> 00:50:29,615 It's supposed to be on 826 00:50:29,617 --> 00:50:31,017 - when you hear the click. - Wait, I see something. 827 00:50:31,019 --> 00:50:32,718 - You did it! - Hello, darling! 828 00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:34,486 Now, where's my granddaughter? 829 00:50:34,488 --> 00:50:35,921 Just what I said. 830 00:50:35,923 --> 00:50:38,057 I think she's distancing herself from me. 831 00:50:38,059 --> 00:50:39,691 Oh, she's wrapped in a black hole 832 00:50:39,693 --> 00:50:40,992 of emptiness and longing, 833 00:50:40,994 --> 00:50:42,528 like all of us Frump women. 834 00:50:42,530 --> 00:50:44,963 - Wednesday? - It's not Wednesday! 835 00:50:44,965 --> 00:50:46,999 - Who's this? - It's me, Father. 836 00:50:47,001 --> 00:50:48,066 Morticia? 837 00:50:48,068 --> 00:50:50,436 What's wrong with you now? 838 00:50:50,438 --> 00:50:52,537 The world can be so cruel. 839 00:50:52,539 --> 00:50:55,173 And all she wants to do is run toward it. 840 00:50:55,175 --> 00:50:57,041 She's a lot like you that way. 841 00:50:57,043 --> 00:50:58,510 You wanted to see the world. 842 00:50:58,512 --> 00:51:00,680 Find yourself. Serve time! 843 00:51:00,682 --> 00:51:03,615 Listen, Morticia, remember the time 844 00:51:03,617 --> 00:51:06,619 you ran away and joined the Girl Scouts? 845 00:51:06,621 --> 00:51:10,189 We were so worried you were on a bad path. 846 00:51:10,191 --> 00:51:12,624 But when you found out that campfires 847 00:51:12,626 --> 00:51:15,928 were for roasting marshmallows and not other Girl Scouts, 848 00:51:15,930 --> 00:51:17,930 well, you got bored and you came home. 849 00:51:17,932 --> 00:51:20,233 We were so relieved. 850 00:51:20,235 --> 00:51:21,700 Trust Wednesday. 851 00:51:21,702 --> 00:51:24,803 Like you, she'll do the right thing. 852 00:51:24,805 --> 00:51:28,374 Thank you, Father. That's most comforting. 853 00:51:28,376 --> 00:51:30,408 Good. Wait a second. 854 00:51:30,410 --> 00:51:31,642 When did I die? 855 00:51:31,644 --> 00:51:33,146 20 years ago. 856 00:51:33,148 --> 00:51:35,914 Oh, right. Happy anniversary, darling. 857 00:51:35,916 --> 00:51:39,551 All right, Pugsley, let's, uh, go through it again. 858 00:51:39,553 --> 00:51:42,655 You got this, Pugsley. This Mazurka's nothing. 859 00:51:44,492 --> 00:51:47,425 You eat swords for breakfast. 860 00:51:47,427 --> 00:51:50,095 You just got a case of pre-ball jitters. 861 00:51:50,097 --> 00:51:52,263 It's way more common than you think. 862 00:51:52,265 --> 00:51:54,834 If a Mazurka lasts for more than four hours, 863 00:51:54,836 --> 00:51:56,438 contact your doctor. 864 00:51:57,805 --> 00:51:59,841 From the top. Music! 865 00:52:14,655 --> 00:52:15,820 Pugsley, 866 00:52:15,822 --> 00:52:17,455 I can honestly say 867 00:52:17,457 --> 00:52:21,593 that was most definitely a thing you did. 868 00:52:21,595 --> 00:52:24,863 A question, what in heaven's name was it? 869 00:52:24,865 --> 00:52:26,265 The Sabre Mazurka. 870 00:52:28,702 --> 00:52:31,104 You know what? You've been practicing hard. 871 00:52:31,106 --> 00:52:33,205 Why don't we call it a day? Hmm? 872 00:52:33,207 --> 00:52:35,207 Hit the showers, kid. 873 00:52:35,209 --> 00:52:36,575 So, we're finished? 874 00:52:36,577 --> 00:52:37,843 Ah, yes. 875 00:52:37,845 --> 00:52:41,613 Yes, son. We are most certainly finished. 876 00:52:41,615 --> 00:52:43,582 Mmm. Okay. Thanks, Pop. 877 00:52:43,584 --> 00:52:45,020 Thanks, Uncle Fester. 878 00:52:49,657 --> 00:52:53,693 This is a complete disaster! How did this happen? 879 00:52:53,695 --> 00:52:55,193 And he's going to make a fool of himself 880 00:52:55,195 --> 00:52:56,495 in front of everyone! 881 00:52:56,497 --> 00:52:58,530 Gomez, you gotta calm down! 882 00:52:58,532 --> 00:53:00,800 There's still a day to get him ready! 883 00:53:00,802 --> 00:53:04,437 Fester, a year wouldn't be enough to get him ready. 884 00:53:04,439 --> 00:53:06,506 I've failed him, Fester. 885 00:53:06,508 --> 00:53:11,142 I tried to raise him to be an Addams, but I failed. 886 00:53:11,144 --> 00:53:13,914 They're going to eat him alive. 887 00:53:15,916 --> 00:53:18,983 I like it like that Ooh, baby 888 00:53:18,985 --> 00:53:21,019 I said I like it like that 889 00:53:21,021 --> 00:53:25,124 Ooh, baby, I like it like that 890 00:53:25,126 --> 00:53:27,359 All right. Thank you. 891 00:53:27,361 --> 00:53:29,762 Grandma, we already have a band. 892 00:53:29,764 --> 00:53:32,164 They came highly recommended from the mortuary. 893 00:53:32,166 --> 00:53:33,465 Oh. 894 00:53:33,467 --> 00:53:35,501 I'm sure they're good. 895 00:53:35,503 --> 00:53:38,370 My sister Sloom is going to be judging Pugsley. 896 00:53:38,372 --> 00:53:40,273 And if things aren't done the traditional way, 897 00:53:40,275 --> 00:53:41,840 she won't be happy, 898 00:53:41,842 --> 00:53:44,109 and the Mazurka could be a disaster! 899 00:53:44,111 --> 00:53:46,113 But what do I know? 900 00:53:46,414 --> 00:53:47,546 Fine. 901 00:53:47,548 --> 00:53:48,948 Yay, we got the gig! 902 00:53:48,950 --> 00:53:50,048 We got it! 903 00:53:50,050 --> 00:53:51,550 Ah, one more thing... 904 00:53:51,552 --> 00:53:54,919 Oh, someone's at the door. I'd better go see who it is. 905 00:54:01,896 --> 00:54:05,597 What's so great about being yourself 906 00:54:05,599 --> 00:54:09,734 When you can be like everyone else? 907 00:54:09,736 --> 00:54:12,271 Do not speak to your mother that way. 908 00:54:12,273 --> 00:54:14,805 How dare you enter this house like that. 909 00:54:14,807 --> 00:54:16,945 Wait, where are your tattoos? 910 00:54:19,380 --> 00:54:20,812 Oh, thank the stars! 911 00:54:20,814 --> 00:54:23,381 - Where were you? - Hanging out with Parker. 912 00:54:23,383 --> 00:54:26,151 Is this why you skipped tea and séance? 913 00:54:26,153 --> 00:54:28,153 Your grandparents were trying to contact you. 914 00:54:28,155 --> 00:54:29,454 Holy Hades! 915 00:54:29,456 --> 00:54:31,057 Whoever did that to you, Wednesday, 916 00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:33,425 I hope the other guy looks worse. 917 00:54:33,427 --> 00:54:36,361 Nobody did this to me. This is my new look. 918 00:54:36,363 --> 00:54:37,629 Do you like it? 919 00:54:37,631 --> 00:54:38,731 I do not like it. 920 00:54:38,733 --> 00:54:40,932 Everyone knows pink is a gateway color. 921 00:54:40,934 --> 00:54:43,769 I warned you about sending her to public school. 922 00:54:43,771 --> 00:54:44,836 Don't worry. 923 00:54:44,838 --> 00:54:46,570 Wednesday is never going to that school again. 924 00:54:46,572 --> 00:54:47,905 - What? - In fact, 925 00:54:47,907 --> 00:54:50,311 she's never leaving this house again. 926 00:54:53,447 --> 00:54:56,515 Wow, that's some evil eye she's got there. 927 00:54:56,517 --> 00:54:59,651 No, that dead-eye stare is new. 928 00:54:59,653 --> 00:55:01,854 And I think I know where she got it. 929 00:55:01,856 --> 00:55:04,590 Hey, guys, this is me now. 930 00:55:04,592 --> 00:55:07,593 If you like it, hit "like," but who cares if you like it. 931 00:55:07,595 --> 00:55:09,028 I'm living my truth. 932 00:55:09,030 --> 00:55:10,798 Parker? 933 00:55:12,298 --> 00:55:14,369 - Who did this to you? - I did. 934 00:55:15,102 --> 00:55:17,102 This is my new look, Mother. 935 00:55:17,104 --> 00:55:21,673 I decided that from now on, I choose my clothes, not you. 936 00:55:21,675 --> 00:55:25,077 Argh! This is that little creep Wednesday Addams' work! 937 00:55:25,079 --> 00:55:28,347 She's not a creep. She's just not like you. 938 00:55:28,349 --> 00:55:30,216 Why can't you ever let people be different? 939 00:55:30,218 --> 00:55:34,486 Because it's my calling to make everyone the same. 940 00:55:34,488 --> 00:55:38,390 Too bright! It burns! 941 00:55:38,392 --> 00:55:41,292 Good! Maybe it'll burn away the weird! 942 00:55:41,294 --> 00:55:42,494 I hate it here! 943 00:55:42,496 --> 00:55:44,495 Everything's boring and fake and bright, 944 00:55:44,497 --> 00:55:46,231 like plastic flowers! 945 00:55:46,233 --> 00:55:47,466 Like you! 946 00:55:47,468 --> 00:55:51,504 Parker! Plastic flowers live forever. 947 00:55:51,506 --> 00:55:53,808 Now, you go think about that in your room. 948 00:55:54,407 --> 00:55:56,508 With no social media. 949 00:55:56,510 --> 00:55:58,977 No! Please, no. Anything but that! 950 00:55:58,979 --> 00:56:01,646 Now go wipe that depressing goop off your face. 951 00:56:01,648 --> 00:56:03,414 You first! 952 00:56:03,416 --> 00:56:07,553 Oh! Those Addamses have gone too far this time. 953 00:56:07,555 --> 00:56:10,592 I think they're going to need a little more help. 954 00:56:26,374 --> 00:56:27,542 Hey! 955 00:56:29,510 --> 00:56:31,376 Where are you going? 956 00:56:31,378 --> 00:56:32,945 A friend's. 957 00:56:32,947 --> 00:56:37,249 I hold people prisoner, not the other way around. 958 00:56:37,251 --> 00:56:39,350 Good luck with your Mazurka. 959 00:56:39,352 --> 00:56:41,754 Wait, you're leaving? 960 00:56:41,756 --> 00:56:43,555 Who's gonna torment me every day? 961 00:56:43,557 --> 00:56:46,758 Living under this roof is all the torment you'll need. 962 00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,026 Besides, our parents have made it clear 963 00:56:49,028 --> 00:56:51,796 that the only way to be accepted in this family 964 00:56:51,798 --> 00:56:54,733 is to be exactly like them. 965 00:56:54,735 --> 00:56:57,102 I can't play by those rules anymore. 966 00:56:57,104 --> 00:56:59,637 Farewell, brother Pugsley. 967 00:56:59,639 --> 00:57:01,542 Tomorrow, you become a man. 968 00:57:02,075 --> 00:57:04,311 And I become a fugitive. 969 00:57:05,979 --> 00:57:08,713 Always kinda knew it'd end up like this. 970 00:57:08,715 --> 00:57:11,249 Just didn't think it'd be so soon. 971 00:57:11,251 --> 00:57:13,718 I'll never forget you, Pugsley! 972 00:57:13,720 --> 00:57:15,553 But I'll try. 973 00:57:15,555 --> 00:57:18,657 Pugsley, have you seen your sister? 974 00:57:18,659 --> 00:57:20,258 She's not in her room. 975 00:57:20,260 --> 00:57:21,827 Mmm... 976 00:57:21,829 --> 00:57:24,164 Pugsley. Where's Wednesday? 977 00:57:24,731 --> 00:57:26,099 Um... Tsk. 978 00:57:27,834 --> 00:57:32,236 Tick, tock, tick, tock, Mother. 979 00:57:32,238 --> 00:57:35,006 You're getting very sleepy. 980 00:57:35,008 --> 00:57:36,240 Pugsley... 981 00:57:36,242 --> 00:57:39,979 She did not go to her friend's house. 982 00:57:39,981 --> 00:57:41,814 She went to her friend's house? 983 00:57:41,816 --> 00:57:45,684 I repeat, she did not go to her friend's... 984 00:58:12,046 --> 00:58:15,617 When the day is long 985 00:58:17,285 --> 00:58:19,220 And the night 986 00:58:19,887 --> 00:58:22,323 The night is yours alone 987 00:58:27,561 --> 00:58:28,959 When you're sure 988 00:58:28,961 --> 00:58:31,532 You've had enough 989 00:58:33,066 --> 00:58:35,235 Of this life 990 00:58:37,070 --> 00:58:39,140 Hang on 991 00:58:42,809 --> 00:58:46,514 Don't let yourself go 992 00:58:50,418 --> 00:58:54,088 'Cause everybody cries 993 00:58:58,191 --> 00:59:03,160 And everybody hurts 994 00:59:04,564 --> 00:59:06,532 Sometimes 995 00:59:06,534 --> 00:59:09,202 I shall be staying with you for a while. 996 00:59:10,104 --> 00:59:13,942 Everybody hurts 997 00:59:18,111 --> 00:59:19,343 If this doesn't work, 998 00:59:19,345 --> 00:59:21,379 the next house we flip is gonna land on you. 999 00:59:21,381 --> 00:59:22,580 Marty, listen to me. 1000 00:59:22,582 --> 00:59:25,184 Tomorrow, our finale will be the biggest half hour 1001 00:59:25,186 --> 00:59:26,919 your network has ever aired. 1002 00:59:26,921 --> 00:59:29,088 There's just one more thing to take care of. 1003 00:59:29,090 --> 00:59:30,555 This better be good or you won't be able 1004 00:59:30,557 --> 00:59:31,791 to get a job as a doormat. 1005 00:59:31,793 --> 00:59:32,925 Yes, yes, yes. 1006 00:59:32,927 --> 00:59:36,396 I intend to bring the house down. 1007 00:59:50,311 --> 00:59:51,977 When the pimp's in the crib ma 1008 00:59:51,979 --> 00:59:54,546 Drop it like it's hot Drop it like it's hot 1009 00:59:54,548 --> 00:59:55,814 Drop it like it's hot 1010 00:59:55,816 --> 00:59:57,283 When the pigs try to get at you 1011 00:59:57,285 --> 00:59:59,783 Park it like it's hot Park it like it's hot 1012 00:59:59,785 --> 01:00:00,952 Park it like it's hot 1013 01:00:00,954 --> 01:00:02,421 And if a... get a attitude 1014 01:00:02,423 --> 01:00:04,756 Pop it like it's hot Pop it like it's hot 1015 01:00:04,758 --> 01:00:05,890 Pop it like it's hot 1016 01:00:05,892 --> 01:00:08,561 I got the Rolly on my arm and I'm pouring Chandon 1017 01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:11,633 And I roll the best... 'cause I got it going on 1018 01:00:16,803 --> 01:00:20,738 You rang? 1019 01:00:20,740 --> 01:00:23,207 It. Cousin. You made it! 1020 01:00:24,343 --> 01:00:26,812 Please, come in. Make yourself at home. 1021 01:00:29,416 --> 01:00:30,950 Where did she hide my phone? 1022 01:00:30,952 --> 01:00:32,450 I haven't been able 1023 01:00:32,452 --> 01:00:34,820 to post a photo of my lunch in almost three days! 1024 01:00:34,822 --> 01:00:37,321 And what about in there? 1025 01:00:37,323 --> 01:00:39,358 That's my mom's crafting room. 1026 01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:41,660 No one is allowed in there. 1027 01:00:41,662 --> 01:00:43,031 Then that's where it is. 1028 01:00:50,671 --> 01:00:52,040 Weird. 1029 01:01:05,052 --> 01:01:06,218 Whoa. 1030 01:01:06,220 --> 01:01:07,885 Hidden depths. 1031 01:01:07,887 --> 01:01:09,821 What is this? 1032 01:01:09,823 --> 01:01:12,791 There's Mr. Haney making a sandwich. 1033 01:01:12,793 --> 01:01:15,526 And that guy trying to put a tiny tuxedo on his cat. 1034 01:01:15,528 --> 01:01:16,794 - Sit still! - That's Mr. Flynn. 1035 01:01:16,796 --> 01:01:17,863 Why are you being so difficult? 1036 01:01:17,865 --> 01:01:18,930 Trying to make you 1037 01:01:18,932 --> 01:01:20,532 - look handsome. - My money's on the cat. 1038 01:01:20,534 --> 01:01:23,234 And there's our science teacher, Ms. Gravely, 1039 01:01:23,236 --> 01:01:26,238 putting her underwear in the freezer? 1040 01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:29,573 My mom must have built hidden cameras 1041 01:01:29,575 --> 01:01:31,475 into all of the houses. 1042 01:01:31,477 --> 01:01:32,878 She really is psycho. 1043 01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,015 - Parker! - Whoa! 1044 01:01:35,381 --> 01:01:37,247 Hey, Mom. 1045 01:01:37,249 --> 01:01:39,651 We were just looking for you. 1046 01:01:39,653 --> 01:01:43,724 What have I told you about Mommy's crafting room? 1047 01:01:45,425 --> 01:01:48,526 Sorry to do this, but standards must be upheld. 1048 01:01:48,528 --> 01:01:51,032 Parker, someday you'll understand, and, Wednesday... 1049 01:01:51,564 --> 01:01:52,833 Well, anyway, Parker. 1050 01:01:56,570 --> 01:01:59,838 My mom has a lair and a jail? 1051 01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,173 I knew I should have picked to live with my dad. 1052 01:02:02,175 --> 01:02:04,541 We're gonna be on TV! 1053 01:02:04,543 --> 01:02:05,711 Are we gonna be famous? 1054 01:02:05,713 --> 01:02:07,079 Glenn, what do you want in the frame? 1055 01:02:07,081 --> 01:02:09,280 Okay, everyone, listen up. 1056 01:02:09,282 --> 01:02:11,216 It's the last run-through before the finale, 1057 01:02:11,218 --> 01:02:13,419 so let's try this one last time, okay? 1058 01:02:13,421 --> 01:02:16,155 We're gonna shoot across the town square to the gazebo 1059 01:02:16,157 --> 01:02:17,888 where Margaux will make her grand entrance. 1060 01:02:17,890 --> 01:02:20,392 So everyone will be walking this direction 1061 01:02:20,394 --> 01:02:21,892 across the square. 1062 01:02:21,894 --> 01:02:23,695 Judy, you start here, 1063 01:02:23,697 --> 01:02:25,463 Ken, you're gonna follow Judy. 1064 01:02:25,465 --> 01:02:28,133 You can stand right here and... 1065 01:02:28,135 --> 01:02:30,537 Uh, is there a bathroom nearby? 1066 01:02:31,037 --> 01:02:32,572 Uh... 1067 01:02:35,742 --> 01:02:37,642 Margaux, they're here! 1068 01:02:37,644 --> 01:02:39,245 What are you talking about? 1069 01:02:39,247 --> 01:02:40,711 They're here! 1070 01:02:40,713 --> 01:02:42,948 The Addams family! 1071 01:02:53,126 --> 01:02:54,292 Pardon me. 1072 01:02:55,930 --> 01:02:56,998 Excuse me. 1073 01:02:57,664 --> 01:02:58,829 What are we gonna do? 1074 01:02:58,831 --> 01:03:03,936 What we always do, Glenn. Help people. 1075 01:03:03,938 --> 01:03:07,104 "The Addams monsters are planning 1076 01:03:07,106 --> 01:03:10,975 "to attack the town tonight!" Exclamation point. 1077 01:03:12,146 --> 01:03:14,816 "Meet at Margaux's house now." 1078 01:03:15,282 --> 01:03:16,984 Mmm? Oh. 1079 01:03:22,590 --> 01:03:25,291 Salutations, Addams. We're here! 1080 01:03:25,293 --> 01:03:28,325 Petunia, I love what you've done with your hair. 1081 01:03:28,327 --> 01:03:31,028 Thanks, I just had it mowed. 1082 01:03:31,030 --> 01:03:33,497 Please, come in. Make yourself uncomfortable. 1083 01:03:33,499 --> 01:03:35,800 Uncle Onion! 1084 01:03:35,802 --> 01:03:37,202 - It's been so long! - Voilà! 1085 01:03:37,204 --> 01:03:39,437 Yes, so disappointed to see you. 1086 01:03:39,439 --> 01:03:42,807 Ah, you always manage to bring a tear to my eye! 1087 01:03:43,943 --> 01:03:46,678 Greetings, Dr. Flambe! How you doing? 1088 01:03:46,680 --> 01:03:48,814 - I'm on fire! - Good! 1089 01:03:48,816 --> 01:03:50,582 This party's gonna be lit! 1090 01:03:50,584 --> 01:03:52,520 Ah, Auntie Sloom. 1091 01:03:53,153 --> 01:03:55,452 Auntie Sloom! 1092 01:03:55,454 --> 01:04:00,191 You are as radiant as a barrel of nuclear waste. 1093 01:04:00,193 --> 01:04:03,163 Where is the boy? 1094 01:04:03,497 --> 01:04:04,562 Pugsley? 1095 01:04:04,564 --> 01:04:06,530 Ah, there you are. 1096 01:04:06,532 --> 01:04:07,832 Come down and say hello 1097 01:04:07,834 --> 01:04:09,202 - to your Auntie Sloom. - Ahh! 1098 01:04:11,805 --> 01:04:16,508 Gomez, this tradition is not to be taken lightly. 1099 01:04:16,510 --> 01:04:19,676 I trust that the boy has been properly trained. 1100 01:04:19,678 --> 01:04:21,245 Yes, once you see how we've... 1101 01:04:21,247 --> 01:04:25,883 It's bad enough this Mazurka is taking place in New Jersey. 1102 01:04:25,885 --> 01:04:29,021 Now, where are the dregs? I'm thirsty. 1103 01:04:29,023 --> 01:04:31,023 You've seen them! 1104 01:04:31,025 --> 01:04:34,325 You've heard the stories on Neighborhood Peeps! 1105 01:04:34,327 --> 01:04:38,729 Those Addams aren't people, they're monsters! 1106 01:04:38,731 --> 01:04:41,901 And now, there's an infestation of them! 1107 01:04:41,903 --> 01:04:45,236 They're here to destroy our beautiful community 1108 01:04:45,238 --> 01:04:46,437 and turn it into a place 1109 01:04:46,439 --> 01:04:48,907 that no Design Intervention can save! 1110 01:04:48,909 --> 01:04:51,410 Addams aren't wanted here! 1111 01:04:51,412 --> 01:04:53,245 They're monsters! They're all monsters! 1112 01:04:53,247 --> 01:04:56,347 We need to destroy them first! 1113 01:04:56,349 --> 01:04:58,251 Who's with me? 1114 01:04:59,119 --> 01:05:00,584 We'll be revealing Assimilation 1115 01:05:00,586 --> 01:05:02,787 and all of you to our audience in just an hour. 1116 01:05:02,789 --> 01:05:06,224 Our last chance to help these people is now. 1117 01:05:06,226 --> 01:05:09,727 Bill, John, do you still have that lovely catapult? 1118 01:05:09,729 --> 01:05:11,195 Yes, we do! 1119 01:05:11,197 --> 01:05:13,198 Are you sure about this? 1120 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:15,066 We can't let them ruin our neighborhood! 1121 01:05:15,068 --> 01:05:16,133 Let's do it! 1122 01:05:16,135 --> 01:05:17,537 I want them out! 1123 01:05:19,305 --> 01:05:22,506 No one torments my family but me. 1124 01:05:22,508 --> 01:05:23,811 Hair clip, please. 1125 01:05:24,711 --> 01:05:25,947 Okay. 1126 01:05:34,755 --> 01:05:37,590 Cage school 101. 1127 01:05:39,093 --> 01:05:40,158 He'd better be ready 1128 01:05:40,160 --> 01:05:41,559 or Auntie Sloom will have his head! 1129 01:05:41,561 --> 01:05:42,961 He looks very small. 1130 01:05:42,963 --> 01:05:44,662 That kid's got some big shoes to fill. 1131 01:05:44,664 --> 01:05:46,465 I certainly hope the boy's ready. 1132 01:05:46,467 --> 01:05:48,999 Well, I'm not going easy on him. 1133 01:05:59,012 --> 01:06:00,111 Heads up. 1134 01:06:01,648 --> 01:06:03,314 Hey, alto, you're flat. 1135 01:06:09,155 --> 01:06:10,488 Sloom. 1136 01:06:10,490 --> 01:06:12,925 - Sister. - Darling, I... 1137 01:06:12,927 --> 01:06:14,693 I know the last time we saw each other, 1138 01:06:14,695 --> 01:06:16,193 we had that horrible fight. 1139 01:06:16,195 --> 01:06:19,564 And I just wanted to tell you, from the bottom of my heart, 1140 01:06:19,566 --> 01:06:22,466 I won that fight! And I was glad I cheated! 1141 01:06:22,468 --> 01:06:26,504 You won? Still a sore loser, as always! 1142 01:06:26,506 --> 01:06:29,274 I want a rematch! Right here! Right now! 1143 01:06:29,276 --> 01:06:31,809 Auntie Sloom? Can I get you anything? 1144 01:06:31,811 --> 01:06:33,178 When's the Mazurka? 1145 01:06:33,180 --> 01:06:34,780 Soon, soon. 1146 01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:36,615 Our daughter Wednesday isn't here yet. 1147 01:06:36,617 --> 01:06:39,383 If your daughter can't be on time, 1148 01:06:39,385 --> 01:06:41,688 then we will begin without her! 1149 01:06:42,322 --> 01:06:44,955 Very well, Auntie Sloom. 1150 01:06:48,361 --> 01:06:51,798 Attention, please. Attention! 1151 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:57,135 The hour is upon us. 1152 01:06:57,137 --> 01:06:58,238 Places! 1153 01:07:11,985 --> 01:07:17,756 We gather today to witness my son, Pugsley Addams, 1154 01:07:17,758 --> 01:07:20,561 perform his Sabre Mazurka. 1155 01:07:43,249 --> 01:07:46,852 He will begin with a reading from the Terror, 1156 01:07:46,854 --> 01:07:50,624 which commemorates our cries in battle. 1157 01:08:12,579 --> 01:08:16,483 And now, the transition into manhood. 1158 01:08:34,267 --> 01:08:37,101 And now, the Sabre Mazurka. 1159 01:08:45,144 --> 01:08:46,446 Hold still. 1160 01:08:48,482 --> 01:08:50,849 The Addams mustache. 1161 01:08:50,851 --> 01:08:52,452 Now you're ready. 1162 01:10:02,856 --> 01:10:03,924 Pugsley? 1163 01:10:06,593 --> 01:10:08,193 I give up. 1164 01:10:08,195 --> 01:10:10,030 I can't do it, Pop. 1165 01:10:11,564 --> 01:10:12,765 Oh. 1166 01:10:15,402 --> 01:10:16,570 I'm sorry. 1167 01:10:17,504 --> 01:10:19,537 I let you down. 1168 01:10:19,539 --> 01:10:22,509 You haven't let me down, Pugsley. 1169 01:10:23,744 --> 01:10:25,510 I let you down. 1170 01:10:25,512 --> 01:10:27,212 I was so focused on doing things 1171 01:10:27,214 --> 01:10:29,012 the traditional way, 1172 01:10:29,014 --> 01:10:31,151 I forgot to let you be who you are. 1173 01:10:35,588 --> 01:10:36,654 Hey! 1174 01:10:36,656 --> 01:10:40,559 Are ya ready for your Margaux makeover now? 1175 01:10:40,561 --> 01:10:41,860 It's Margaux. 1176 01:10:41,862 --> 01:10:43,227 She must have turned the whole town 1177 01:10:43,229 --> 01:10:44,863 into stark raving lunatics. 1178 01:10:44,865 --> 01:10:47,265 Well, I have to admit, I admire her work. 1179 01:10:47,267 --> 01:10:48,400 Let's do this thing! 1180 01:10:48,402 --> 01:10:50,235 It's locked and loaded, Margaux. 1181 01:10:50,237 --> 01:10:52,640 Let's go get 'em! We've had enough! 1182 01:10:53,205 --> 01:10:54,207 Fire! 1183 01:10:59,144 --> 01:11:02,982 Get out! 1184 01:11:09,455 --> 01:11:10,888 Pugsley! 1185 01:11:10,890 --> 01:11:13,958 What is the true meaning of the Mazurka? 1186 01:11:13,960 --> 01:11:16,461 It's about protecting our family 1187 01:11:16,463 --> 01:11:18,663 from those who would do us harm! 1188 01:11:18,665 --> 01:11:22,069 Go ahead. Show 'em what you're good at. 1189 01:11:26,740 --> 01:11:30,809 All we have to do is pull down the side walls! 1190 01:11:30,811 --> 01:11:32,842 You shouldn't mess with me 1191 01:11:32,844 --> 01:11:35,079 You don't wanna mess with me 1192 01:11:35,081 --> 01:11:38,852 'Cause if you mess with me You're messing with my family 1193 01:11:42,022 --> 01:11:44,890 Everyone, follow my boy! 1194 01:11:49,963 --> 01:11:51,130 Hey, guys! 1195 01:12:08,147 --> 01:12:11,818 You might think that we are all loco 1196 01:12:16,322 --> 01:12:20,160 But this family is about to go global 1197 01:12:26,165 --> 01:12:27,633 Fire! 1198 01:12:30,070 --> 01:12:32,305 Shakalaka bang, baby! 1199 01:12:39,412 --> 01:12:41,245 Quick! Out this way! 1200 01:12:45,885 --> 01:12:47,720 Pop, I'm out of ammo! 1201 01:12:49,388 --> 01:12:50,989 We're trapped! 1202 01:13:13,213 --> 01:13:15,012 Hope I'm not crashing the party. 1203 01:13:15,014 --> 01:13:16,114 Wednesday! 1204 01:13:16,116 --> 01:13:17,414 Yeah! 1205 01:13:17,416 --> 01:13:19,285 Ichabod, quick, lower your branches! 1206 01:13:22,054 --> 01:13:23,723 Everyone, grab on! 1207 01:13:46,946 --> 01:13:52,016 Margaux Needler never stops until the project is complete. 1208 01:13:55,488 --> 01:13:56,823 Fire in the hole! 1209 01:13:58,590 --> 01:14:00,091 Mazurka! 1210 01:14:03,495 --> 01:14:04,928 Is everyone all right? 1211 01:14:04,930 --> 01:14:07,601 No limbs missing that weren't missing before you arrived? 1212 01:14:13,673 --> 01:14:17,842 My little raven, I'm so happy you returned. 1213 01:14:17,844 --> 01:14:19,443 Of course I came back. 1214 01:14:19,445 --> 01:14:20,511 I knew there was no way 1215 01:14:20,513 --> 01:14:22,012 you were going to save yourselves. 1216 01:14:22,014 --> 01:14:24,449 You are like weak baby squirrels. 1217 01:14:37,531 --> 01:14:38,631 Socrates. 1218 01:14:40,832 --> 01:14:43,437 Eight legs, nine lives. 1219 01:14:45,804 --> 01:14:47,974 You were right, cara mia. 1220 01:14:48,842 --> 01:14:50,443 People can be cruel. 1221 01:14:51,376 --> 01:14:52,776 What have we done? 1222 01:14:52,778 --> 01:14:55,312 They're just a family. 1223 01:14:55,314 --> 01:14:56,480 A family? 1224 01:14:56,482 --> 01:14:58,615 Oh, please! They're a bunch of monsters! 1225 01:14:58,617 --> 01:15:01,052 Don't go soft on me, people. 1226 01:15:01,054 --> 01:15:03,320 I will relish hounding you 1227 01:15:03,322 --> 01:15:05,556 until that nuclear waste dump of a house is gone 1228 01:15:05,558 --> 01:15:08,391 and your mutant family along with it! Ah! 1229 01:15:08,393 --> 01:15:11,462 Be careful what you wish for, Ms. Needler. 1230 01:15:11,464 --> 01:15:15,369 My family and I will never run from the likes of you again. 1231 01:15:21,006 --> 01:15:22,974 Deep breath, Margaux. 1232 01:15:22,976 --> 01:15:24,708 Okay, I have a finale to shoot. 1233 01:15:24,710 --> 01:15:26,343 Parker, let's go. 1234 01:15:26,345 --> 01:15:28,578 I'm not going anywhere with you. 1235 01:15:28,580 --> 01:15:29,881 I'm staying with my friend. 1236 01:15:29,883 --> 01:15:31,248 Your friend? 1237 01:15:31,250 --> 01:15:33,184 Parker, these people are freaks. 1238 01:15:33,186 --> 01:15:35,185 If they're freaks, then I'm a freak. 1239 01:15:35,187 --> 01:15:37,221 And so are all of you. 1240 01:15:37,223 --> 01:15:38,355 Exhibit A. 1241 01:15:38,357 --> 01:15:42,092 Ms. Gravely, you put your underwear in the freezer. 1242 01:15:42,094 --> 01:15:44,095 Hey, it's refreshing, okay? 1243 01:15:44,097 --> 01:15:46,263 Exhibit B. Trudy Pickering. 1244 01:15:46,265 --> 01:15:48,533 You sit on the toilet backwards. 1245 01:15:48,535 --> 01:15:51,101 Well, where else am I supposed to put my arms? 1246 01:15:51,103 --> 01:15:53,104 Wait, how did you know that? 1247 01:15:53,106 --> 01:15:57,108 Because your houses have been infested with Needler-Vision. 1248 01:15:57,110 --> 01:15:59,843 She has hidden cameras everywhere. 1249 01:15:59,845 --> 01:16:00,912 What? 1250 01:16:00,914 --> 01:16:03,580 And watches you all of the time. 1251 01:16:03,582 --> 01:16:04,681 In my private time? 1252 01:16:04,683 --> 01:16:05,749 That is creepy, actually. 1253 01:16:05,751 --> 01:16:08,351 - What else has she seen? - That is over the line! 1254 01:16:08,353 --> 01:16:09,520 Shut up! 1255 01:16:09,522 --> 01:16:12,891 Listen, you lemmings! This is my town. 1256 01:16:12,893 --> 01:16:15,627 You are nothing but a bunch of extras. 1257 01:16:15,629 --> 01:16:19,363 We are going to march down that hill and do a live show. 1258 01:16:19,365 --> 01:16:21,032 I expect you to convince 1259 01:16:21,034 --> 01:16:23,534 those brainless peons out there in the audience 1260 01:16:23,536 --> 01:16:26,069 that this is the perfect place to buy a house, 1261 01:16:26,071 --> 01:16:28,739 or none of you will be living here much longer. 1262 01:16:28,741 --> 01:16:30,408 - Do you hear me? - Actually, Mom, 1263 01:16:30,410 --> 01:16:32,142 everyone can hear you. 1264 01:16:32,144 --> 01:16:34,311 You've been live this whole time. 1265 01:16:34,313 --> 01:16:37,782 Three million people are watching you right now. 1266 01:16:37,784 --> 01:16:39,784 The real you, for a change. 1267 01:16:39,786 --> 01:16:42,319 Please, what do I care what a bunch of bloggers think? 1268 01:16:42,321 --> 01:16:43,421 Margaux? 1269 01:16:43,423 --> 01:16:44,489 What? 1270 01:16:44,491 --> 01:16:46,157 It's the network. 1271 01:16:46,159 --> 01:16:48,292 They're taking your show off the air. 1272 01:16:48,294 --> 01:16:49,459 What? 1273 01:16:49,461 --> 01:16:51,895 No. I'll be... I'll be bankrupt. 1274 01:16:51,897 --> 01:16:53,330 Who will buy all these houses? 1275 01:16:53,332 --> 01:16:56,266 Okay, watch this. Now's my chance. 1276 01:16:56,268 --> 01:17:00,070 Excuse me, I just tooted. 1277 01:17:00,072 --> 01:17:02,073 Furthermore, I think I can help you 1278 01:17:02,075 --> 01:17:03,608 get rid of those houses. 1279 01:17:03,610 --> 01:17:05,676 - What are you talking about? - Well, my dear, 1280 01:17:05,678 --> 01:17:08,578 you've got a bunch of houses you need to get rid of, 1281 01:17:08,580 --> 01:17:11,183 and I've got a bunch of family I need to get rid of. 1282 01:17:11,852 --> 01:17:13,316 Hello? 1283 01:17:13,318 --> 01:17:16,087 Excuse me. I'm Trudy. 1284 01:17:16,089 --> 01:17:20,158 Trudy Pickering. We... We never officially met... 1285 01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:22,592 Ah, yes. The toilet woman. 1286 01:17:22,594 --> 01:17:23,793 Right. 1287 01:17:23,795 --> 01:17:28,632 Listen, uh, please, give us a chance to make it right. 1288 01:17:28,634 --> 01:17:32,304 Let us have our own design intervention. 1289 01:17:33,305 --> 01:17:34,372 Mother, 1290 01:17:34,374 --> 01:17:36,840 I spent time with these people, 1291 01:17:36,842 --> 01:17:40,810 and it is true, they are odd. 1292 01:17:40,812 --> 01:17:42,512 But we shouldn't judge them 1293 01:17:42,514 --> 01:17:44,516 just because they're different. 1294 01:18:07,307 --> 01:18:08,838 - Have a wonderful day! - Whoo-hoo. 1295 01:18:08,840 --> 01:18:09,907 And there you are. 1296 01:18:09,909 --> 01:18:11,143 - Bye-bye. - Thanks! Bye! 1297 01:18:16,883 --> 01:18:18,516 Well, hello there! 1298 01:18:18,518 --> 01:18:21,319 Howdy, neighbor. How's the new house? 1299 01:18:21,321 --> 01:18:25,021 Oh, I love it. I hope you brought your umbrellas. 1300 01:18:25,023 --> 01:18:28,859 Oh, you put in a typhoon. What a great idea. 1301 01:18:28,861 --> 01:18:30,761 Don't forget the gift basket, silly. 1302 01:18:30,763 --> 01:18:32,163 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1303 01:18:32,165 --> 01:18:34,565 We got scented embalming fluid, 1304 01:18:34,567 --> 01:18:37,334 toes, teeth, a fruitcake, 1305 01:18:37,336 --> 01:18:40,038 rat bait, got some dried apricots... 1306 01:18:41,273 --> 01:18:44,208 He's like training a puppy, adorable but tiresome. 1307 01:18:44,210 --> 01:18:46,211 She's the woman of my dreams! 1308 01:18:46,213 --> 01:18:48,878 Her breath is like a baby's diaper. 1309 01:18:48,880 --> 01:18:51,282 Fester, stop! 1310 01:18:51,284 --> 01:18:54,752 Who would have thought a guy like me, a total zero, 1311 01:18:54,754 --> 01:18:58,021 would have ended up with you, an also zero? 1312 01:18:58,023 --> 01:18:59,959 Well, do come in! 1313 01:19:02,795 --> 01:19:06,129 Now, with the house rebuilt, Pugsley, 1314 01:19:06,131 --> 01:19:10,402 we can throw you the celebration you deserve! 1315 01:19:11,237 --> 01:19:15,075 You are Addams through and through. 1316 01:19:32,924 --> 01:19:36,896 Get out! 1317 01:19:37,897 --> 01:19:40,564 Oh, how lovely. The spirit's home. 1318 01:19:40,566 --> 01:19:43,769 Finally, back to normal. 1319 01:19:49,808 --> 01:19:51,141 We did good. 1320 01:19:51,143 --> 01:19:53,079 I won't tell anyone if you don't. 1321 01:20:14,433 --> 01:20:16,367 They're creepy And they're kooky 1322 01:20:16,369 --> 01:20:18,368 Mysterious and spooky 1323 01:20:18,370 --> 01:20:20,370 They're altogether ooky 1324 01:20:20,372 --> 01:20:21,842 The Addams family 1325 01:20:22,441 --> 01:20:24,342 There house is a museum 1326 01:20:24,344 --> 01:20:26,343 Where people come to see 'em 1327 01:20:26,345 --> 01:20:28,346 They really are a scream 1328 01:20:28,348 --> 01:20:29,783 The Addams family 1329 01:20:30,950 --> 01:20:31,952 Neat. 1330 01:20:32,985 --> 01:20:33,987 Sweet. 1331 01:20:36,856 --> 01:20:38,221 Petite. 1332 01:20:38,223 --> 01:20:40,190 So get a witch's shawl on 1333 01:20:40,192 --> 01:20:42,193 A broomstick You can crawl on 1334 01:20:42,195 --> 01:20:44,194 We're gonna pay a call on 1335 01:20:44,196 --> 01:20:46,832 The Addams family 1336 01:20:48,867 --> 01:20:50,300 Family, family 1337 01:20:50,302 --> 01:20:52,336 I'd go to war for my family 1338 01:20:52,338 --> 01:20:55,207 Ups and downs Wrong or right, it's family 1339 01:20:55,974 --> 01:20:57,041 They think that we crazy 1340 01:20:57,043 --> 01:20:59,243 They say that we crazy, can't handle it 1341 01:20:59,245 --> 01:21:02,980 My back on the wall Who I'mma call, my family 1342 01:21:02,982 --> 01:21:06,450 We different, we stick out Wig out, bug out 1343 01:21:06,452 --> 01:21:08,218 Pop out, hop out Go 1344 01:21:08,220 --> 01:21:09,986 Ball out, hey Show out 1345 01:21:09,988 --> 01:21:11,221 A'ight, this a party 1346 01:21:11,223 --> 01:21:13,556 Let's not make a problem No! 1347 01:21:13,558 --> 01:21:17,095 Why you looking at me like there's something, tell me 1348 01:21:17,097 --> 01:21:19,997 You should know it's not just me that you'll be rubbing 1349 01:21:19,999 --> 01:21:22,669 The wrong way, so you better think twice 1350 01:21:24,036 --> 01:21:27,404 You shouldn't mess with me You don't want to mess with me 1351 01:21:27,406 --> 01:21:30,874 'Cause if you mess with me You're messing with my family 1352 01:21:30,876 --> 01:21:32,275 You shouldn't mess with me 1353 01:21:32,277 --> 01:21:33,610 You don't want to mess with me 1354 01:21:33,612 --> 01:21:34,744 No! 1355 01:21:34,746 --> 01:21:35,946 'Cause if you mess with me 1356 01:21:35,948 --> 01:21:37,782 You're messing with my family 1357 01:21:37,784 --> 01:21:41,084 Ay, ay, ay, ay 1358 01:21:41,086 --> 01:21:44,523 You might think that we are all loco 1359 01:21:45,223 --> 01:21:46,891 Ay, ay, ay 1360 01:21:46,893 --> 01:21:48,258 Don't mess with my family 1361 01:21:48,260 --> 01:21:51,261 But this family about to go global 1362 01:21:51,263 --> 01:21:52,431 We blowin' up! 1363 01:21:54,700 --> 01:21:55,802 Yeah, yeah 1364 01:21:56,568 --> 01:21:57,700 Yeah, yeah 1365 01:22:12,585 --> 01:22:13,751 Don't mess with my family 1366 01:22:13,753 --> 01:22:16,386 A'ight, this a party Let's not make a problem 1367 01:22:16,388 --> 01:22:17,587 No! 1368 01:22:17,589 --> 01:22:20,123 Why you looking at me like there's something, tell me 1369 01:22:20,125 --> 01:22:23,260 You should know it's not just me that you'll be rubbing 1370 01:22:23,262 --> 01:22:24,427 The wrong way 1371 01:22:24,429 --> 01:22:25,965 So you better think twice 1372 01:22:27,500 --> 01:22:29,132 You shouldn't mess with me 1373 01:22:29,134 --> 01:22:30,967 You don't wanna mess with me 1374 01:22:30,969 --> 01:22:32,403 'Cause if you mess with me 1375 01:22:32,405 --> 01:22:34,571 You're messing with my family 1376 01:22:34,573 --> 01:22:36,106 You shouldn't mess with me 1377 01:22:36,108 --> 01:22:38,108 You don't wanna mess with me 1378 01:22:38,110 --> 01:22:41,481 'Cause if you mess with me, you're messing with my family 1379 01:22:44,015 --> 01:22:45,250 Yeah, yeah, yeah 1380 01:22:46,486 --> 01:22:48,455 You're messing with my family 1381 01:22:50,689 --> 01:22:52,491 - Yeah - Yeah, yeah, yeah 1382 01:22:54,027 --> 01:22:55,124 Don't mess with my family 1383 01:22:55,126 --> 01:22:56,193 No! 1384 01:22:56,195 --> 01:22:58,695 Ay, ay, ay, ay 1385 01:22:58,697 --> 01:22:59,864 You might think 1386 01:22:59,866 --> 01:23:02,135 That we are all loco 1387 01:23:02,934 --> 01:23:05,935 Ay, ay, ay 1388 01:23:05,937 --> 01:23:07,104 But this family 1389 01:23:07,106 --> 01:23:08,872 About to go global 1390 01:23:09,974 --> 01:23:11,675 They say that we mean Mean 1391 01:23:11,677 --> 01:23:13,510 They say that we rude Rude 1392 01:23:13,512 --> 01:23:15,311 They say we got problems Problems 1393 01:23:15,313 --> 01:23:17,148 But we say it's cool 1394 01:23:17,150 --> 01:23:18,515 Family, family 1395 01:23:18,517 --> 01:23:20,717 I'd go to war for my family 1396 01:23:20,719 --> 01:23:23,854 Ups and downs Wrong or right, it's family 1397 01:23:23,856 --> 01:23:27,158 Ay, ay, ay, ay 1398 01:23:27,160 --> 01:23:29,526 You might think that we are all loco 1399 01:23:29,528 --> 01:23:31,194 Don't mess with my family 1400 01:23:31,196 --> 01:23:34,131 Ay, ay, ay, 1401 01:23:34,133 --> 01:23:37,333 But this family is about to go global 1402 01:23:46,045 --> 01:23:47,310 There's no bell 1403 01:23:47,312 --> 01:23:49,048 When you call for me 1404 01:23:50,214 --> 01:23:54,316 You'll be falling for miles 1405 01:23:54,318 --> 01:23:58,154 I'm bewitched by your misery 1406 01:23:58,156 --> 01:24:02,693 But I love it when you smile 1407 01:24:02,695 --> 01:24:05,598 Let me know what you want from me 1408 01:24:06,932 --> 01:24:10,601 Whisper "love" in my ears 1409 01:24:10,603 --> 01:24:13,673 Before you try to get your hooks in me 1410 01:24:15,441 --> 01:24:19,575 I should warn you, my dear 1411 01:24:19,577 --> 01:24:23,079 My heart is a haunted house 1412 01:24:23,081 --> 01:24:27,284 Once you're in, you ain't getting out 1413 01:24:27,286 --> 01:24:31,120 It's the trap you've been waiting for 1414 01:24:31,122 --> 01:24:34,891 Ain't no windows, ain't no doors 1415 01:24:34,893 --> 01:24:38,031 No escaping the way you feel 1416 01:24:39,464 --> 01:24:43,033 It's like a dream, but you hope it's real 1417 01:24:43,035 --> 01:24:45,638 My, my, my heart 1418 01:24:46,772 --> 01:24:50,940 M-m-m-my heart is a haunted 1419 01:24:50,942 --> 01:24:52,478 Haunted house 1420 01:24:58,317 --> 01:25:02,285 Watch yourself when you walk to me 1421 01:25:02,287 --> 01:25:06,155 Careful where your heart treads 1422 01:25:06,157 --> 01:25:09,628 Suddenly, you'll be in too deep 1423 01:25:11,263 --> 01:25:14,765 You'll be caught up in my web 1424 01:25:14,767 --> 01:25:17,137 You will think of me constantly 1425 01:25:18,637 --> 01:25:21,407 And it will drive you insane 1426 01:25:22,474 --> 01:25:25,812 Like the tattoo you can't remove 1427 01:25:27,146 --> 01:25:31,648 Like the blood in your veins 1428 01:25:31,650 --> 01:25:35,252 My heart is a haunted house 1429 01:25:35,254 --> 01:25:39,422 Once you're in, you ain't getting out 1430 01:25:39,424 --> 01:25:43,360 It's the trap you've been waiting for 1431 01:25:43,362 --> 01:25:46,629 Ain't no windows, ain't no doors 1432 01:25:46,631 --> 01:25:49,768 There's no escaping the way you feel 1433 01:25:51,437 --> 01:25:55,105 It's like a dream, but you hope it's real 1434 01:25:55,107 --> 01:25:57,010 My, my, my heart 1435 01:25:58,811 --> 01:26:04,550 - M-m-m-my heart is a haunted - Haunted house 1436 01:26:07,186 --> 01:26:10,421 Yeah 1437 01:26:10,423 --> 01:26:13,726 - It's a haunted house - Haunted house 1438 01:26:14,177 --> 01:26:19,177 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 102401

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