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1
00:00:05,882 --> 00:00:07,842
- Lisa, I'm headed out.
2
00:00:07,967 --> 00:00:09,135
Thanks again.
3
00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:10,845
- Oh, can't you stay
a few more hours?
4
00:00:10,970 --> 00:00:13,514
I'm making bee pancakes.
5
00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:15,892
- Um, no,
unfortunately, I can't.
6
00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,351
I really have to get back.
7
00:00:17,477 --> 00:00:18,871
- Well, at least say
hi to Meg and Mark.
8
00:00:18,895 --> 00:00:20,813
They just got here.
- Oh, they did? Oh.
9
00:00:20,897 --> 00:00:24,108
- Hello, Ms. Dubek!
- Oh, my gosh. Hi, Mrs. Dubek.
10
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,444
- Oh, it's so good
to see you kids.
11
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,630
And how nice you get to stop
by for a little breakfast
12
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:29,739
on your way to work.
13
00:00:29,822 --> 00:00:31,407
- Oh, no, school's
out for the summer.
14
00:00:31,491 --> 00:00:32,926
- And I just took off
because it's so nice out.
15
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:34,118
Figured we'd just hang out,
16
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,536
maybe get in the pool.
17
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,497
Oh, uh, Mom, they did
not have any Snickers
18
00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,422
at the gas station, so
we got you a Milky Way.
19
00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:40,792
- Oh, that's great. Thanks.
20
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:42,919
- Oh, and hey, these
were at my house.
21
00:00:43,002 --> 00:00:44,295
- See, I told you.
22
00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:45,731
- Well, your stuff
is better than mine.
23
00:00:45,755 --> 00:00:47,215
[laughter]
24
00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:49,384
- Well, I gotta say, you
two look exactly the same.
25
00:00:49,509 --> 00:00:50,909
- Oh.
- And how are Brooke and Cary?
26
00:00:51,010 --> 00:00:52,220
Are they still the same?
27
00:00:52,345 --> 00:00:53,489
And I'm sorry, I
still haven't seen
28
00:00:53,513 --> 00:00:55,473
Cary's new show, the "Wind" one,
29
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,368
uh, but all my friends
at work say it's awesome.
30
00:00:57,392 --> 00:00:59,977
- Yeah, my friends say
it is so, so awesome.
31
00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,461
- Oh, hey, if you guys do wanna
swim, we're out of sunscreen.
32
00:01:02,522 --> 00:01:03,999
- Oh, I can run out to
Target and get some.
33
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,483
- I'll go with.
- Why?
34
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,318
Do you also need
something from Target?
35
00:01:07,402 --> 00:01:09,338
- No, just to keep her company.
- That's nice of you.
36
00:01:09,362 --> 00:01:10,655
- Come on, you.
37
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,257
- I'm not gonna make
you go to Target alone.
38
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:13,783
- You know what? I
think I will stay
39
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:14,968
and hang for a couple hours.
40
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:17,120
- Yay!
- Oh, yay!
41
00:01:17,203 --> 00:01:18,287
Oh, and hey, how's Brooke?
42
00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:19,914
She's an agent now, right?
43
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,541
- Or a manager? Sorry.
44
00:01:21,666 --> 00:01:23,042
We're nothing like your kids.
45
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,366
Both: Neither of
us know a thing
46
00:01:24,419 --> 00:01:26,379
about the
entertainment industry.
47
00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:28,381
- ? I-I-I'm a winner ?
48
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,049
- It's such bullshit.
49
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,467
Like, I'm the one
in the industry
50
00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:34,094
constantly doing
good, and yet nothing?
51
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,222
He had to have hired
a publicist, right?
52
00:01:36,347 --> 00:01:37,724
- Brooke, it's 8:30 a.m.
53
00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:39,726
How are we already at
a ten about something?
54
00:01:39,851 --> 00:01:43,730
But yes, anytime anyone's on
anything, it's a publicist.
55
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:46,040
How do you think Greta Thunberg
got on the cover of "TIME"?
56
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,735
She hired me.
- Wow, really? What's she like?
57
00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:51,153
- Well, first of all,
bitch has been on a plane.
58
00:01:51,237 --> 00:01:52,363
- Brooke?
- Brooke.
59
00:01:52,447 --> 00:01:53,865
- Oh.
- Hey. How's it going?
60
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,116
- Natalie, hi.
61
00:01:55,241 --> 00:01:57,118
- Oh, nice. You got a copy.
62
00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,619
Isn't that so cool?
- Yeah.
63
00:01:58,745 --> 00:02:01,164
That publicist he hired
was worth every penny.
64
00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:02,641
- Oh, no, he said
someone from "People"
65
00:02:02,665 --> 00:02:04,184
just came to the
hospital and asked him
66
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:05,227
about being on the cover.
- Oh.
67
00:02:05,251 --> 00:02:06,502
- Which makes total sense.
68
00:02:06,586 --> 00:02:08,712
Everyone knows he's
such a good guy.
69
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,381
Anyway, we gotta
get to the train,
70
00:02:10,465 --> 00:02:12,305
but it was so good to see you.
- Yeah, you too.
71
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,510
- Bye, Brooke.
- Bye. [laughs]
72
00:02:14,594 --> 00:02:16,554
Oh, they just "came
to the hospital"?
73
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,598
Please. He might have
these losers fooled,
74
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,349
but I know that he
worked for this.
75
00:02:20,433 --> 00:02:22,852
And it is my job
today to prove it.
76
00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,271
- Actually, your job today
is quite a few other things.
77
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,023
- I just need to
get into his emails.
78
00:02:27,106 --> 00:02:28,900
Oh, uh... hey, Natalie.
79
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,402
I just wanna send Lance
a little something,
80
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:34,363
you know, say congrats
for being so dang good.
81
00:02:34,447 --> 00:02:36,616
Do you mind DM'ing me
his new little addy?
82
00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:38,076
- Yeah, sure.
That's really sweet.
83
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:39,327
- [laughs]
- Brooke, I vote
84
00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:40,620
you don't do this,
85
00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:41,972
but I have to go
meet a new client
86
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,497
and know you're going to.
87
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:45,958
So I guess just text me
when you end up burning down
88
00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:47,293
his entire apartment.
89
00:02:47,377 --> 00:02:48,878
[phone buzzes]
90
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,965
- The addy.
- Hey, everyone.
91
00:02:53,049 --> 00:02:54,467
Thank you all for being here
92
00:02:54,592 --> 00:02:57,678
to talk about helping
me win the Academy Award
93
00:02:57,804 --> 00:03:00,723
for Best Actor in
a Motion Picture.
94
00:03:00,807 --> 00:03:01,891
Or supporting.
95
00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,518
No, let's... let's do lead.
96
00:03:03,643 --> 00:03:04,995
- Well, I'm sorry I
can't be there in person.
97
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,437
I'm still in the Hamptons.
98
00:03:06,521 --> 00:03:08,898
But I have already
found the movie
99
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,150
to maybe get you
that Oscar, Cary.
100
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,652
- Wait, really?
- It's called
101
00:03:12,777 --> 00:03:14,946
"One Night with Albert,"
and it's about a gay man
102
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:17,907
who had a brief love
affair with Albert Einstein
103
00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:20,827
the night before he published
his theory of relativity.
104
00:03:20,952 --> 00:03:22,537
- Albert Einstein was gay?
105
00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:25,832
- It's rumored he was by
the writer of this movie.
106
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:28,167
- Uh, sure. Yes.
107
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,961
I... I wanna be
gay Albert Einstein
108
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,254
and win an Oscar.
109
00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,964
- So the role is up for grabs,
110
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:34,966
but even though you're
the lead of a TV show,
111
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,009
the producers are not 100% sure
112
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:39,011
that they see you
as a leading man.
113
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:40,972
I mean, it's a sexual role,
114
00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,890
and you play an elf
on "WindWeaver."
115
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,308
So in the next month,
116
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:45,768
I wanna have you read for them,
117
00:03:45,852 --> 00:03:47,252
get you in for some
chemistry tests.
118
00:03:47,311 --> 00:03:48,288
- Oh...
- I want them to...
119
00:03:48,312 --> 00:03:49,605
- The next month?
120
00:03:49,689 --> 00:03:51,858
Is there, um, any way
to do this faster?
121
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:53,623
I was hoping to fit
it in before I go back
122
00:03:53,693 --> 00:03:55,360
to "WindWeaver," 'cause I am
123
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,821
completely free until then.
124
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,365
- I might have a
way to go faster.
125
00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:00,616
- Oh, sorry, everyone.
126
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:01,868
Uh, this is Shuli...
- Hi.
127
00:04:01,993 --> 00:04:03,286
- The newest member of the team.
128
00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,513
She wouldn't work with me before
129
00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,706
because I was too small-time,
130
00:04:06,831 --> 00:04:09,500
uh, but last night, she
emailed begging me to hire her.
131
00:04:09,584 --> 00:04:11,210
- Oh, I wouldn't say begging.
132
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:12,712
- Well, I have it
here printed out.
133
00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:14,338
- I will kill you.
- [clears throat]
134
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,673
- But I do have a
faster way for producers
135
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,468
to see Cary as a leading man.
136
00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:21,262
Or wait. Cary, do
you have a, um...
137
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:22,889
[whispering indistinctly]
138
00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,223
- Uh, yes.
139
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,100
Yes, I... I do, actually.
140
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,810
- Perfect. We'll be right...
141
00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:29,228
[horn honks]
142
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:30,396
[wolf whistle]
143
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:31,689
- Oh, my God.
144
00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:34,567
- Whoa. Cary Dubek is packing.
145
00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,069
- Okay. You got the role.
146
00:04:36,152 --> 00:04:38,613
They can now see you
as a leading man.
147
00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:39,906
- Thank you so much, Shuli.
148
00:04:40,031 --> 00:04:41,574
- Hey, thank that
big ol' pee-pee.
149
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:43,576
- Okay, so the next
step is financing.
150
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,661
I'll circle up
with the producers,
151
00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,580
see what studios they're out to,
152
00:04:47,663 --> 00:04:49,457
and this part will
take a beat, so...
153
00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:52,085
- Uh, how long is, um, a beat?
154
00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:55,755
- I mean, we're looking for
$20 million to $25 million,
155
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,256
and...
- Well, uh,
156
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:59,675
what if I were to
just, uh, call my mom?
157
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:02,303
Like, could she finance it?
158
00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:04,639
- Damn, Car, you cray.
159
00:05:04,764 --> 00:05:06,682
And I love it.
- [chuckles]
160
00:05:07,892 --> 00:05:09,769
- Come on. Where are you?
161
00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,062
- Hey, Lance.
- Hey, man.
162
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,397
- Oh.
163
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,023
[scoffs] No shirt, huh?
164
00:05:14,107 --> 00:05:16,776
Looks like someone who works
to get attention to me.
165
00:05:21,447 --> 00:05:22,448
- Hi.
166
00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:24,242
Flower delivery for Mr. Arroyo.
167
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,785
Hmm.
168
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:26,953
- Oh, Debra.
169
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,122
He's the third
floor, apartment 3C.
170
00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:31,124
- Thank you.
171
00:05:31,249 --> 00:05:32,500
[clears throat]
172
00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,631
[sighs] Okay.
173
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:46,074
Watch any video online with Open-SUBTITLES
Free Browser extension: osdb.link/ext
174
00:05:51,853 --> 00:05:53,479
Hmm, bingo.
175
00:05:55,106 --> 00:05:57,817
Huh, left your
email open, idiot.
176
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,027
Okay, let's search "publicist."
177
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:02,613
Weird, okay.
178
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:05,992
Uh, "public relations."
179
00:06:06,117 --> 00:06:07,326
No results?
180
00:06:07,452 --> 00:06:08,745
[sighs]
181
00:06:08,828 --> 00:06:10,204
It's okay.
182
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,706
I got plenty of time.
183
00:06:12,707 --> 00:06:14,917
- Whoops. Forgot something.
184
00:06:15,752 --> 00:06:17,170
- What else can I search?
185
00:06:17,253 --> 00:06:20,006
What would I write in
an email to a publicist?
186
00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:24,969
No?
187
00:06:28,306 --> 00:06:29,724
Nothing?
188
00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:37,482
Does he just never
send any emails?
189
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,192
- Oh, hell yeah.
- [gasps]
190
00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:40,735
- What's going on, man.
191
00:06:40,860 --> 00:06:43,029
Where you going on
this fine Friday?
192
00:06:43,112 --> 00:06:44,989
- Fuck.
193
00:06:45,073 --> 00:06:46,365
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
194
00:06:46,491 --> 00:06:48,326
What do I do?
195
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:50,161
Oh.
196
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,579
I'm not gonna kill him.
197
00:06:51,704 --> 00:06:53,790
- Oh, look who it is.
Give me that rock, baby.
198
00:06:53,873 --> 00:06:54,916
Let's go.
199
00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:57,543
- I'll just set
off the fire alarm.
200
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,713
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
201
00:07:00,797 --> 00:07:02,590
Ahh!
- Okay, girl.
202
00:07:02,715 --> 00:07:04,050
Now give me that spin.
203
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,594
Give me that spin.
- [whimpering]
204
00:07:06,719 --> 00:07:08,763
- [laughs] See you.
205
00:07:08,888 --> 00:07:10,128
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
206
00:07:10,181 --> 00:07:12,767
[horn honking]
207
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,727
Okay.
208
00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:17,563
- This would dull
an average knife,
209
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,857
but Miracle Blade is
not an average knife.
210
00:07:19,941 --> 00:07:21,651
Even a soda can is like butter.
211
00:07:21,734 --> 00:07:24,946
[continues indistinctly]
- [snoring]
212
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:29,200
[oven clicking]
- Oh.
213
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,411
Jesus.
214
00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:35,540
- [continues indistinctly]
215
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,458
- Okay.
216
00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,419
- Yo, Mr. McMurtry.
- Oh.
217
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,045
- It's Lance.
- Lance.
218
00:07:41,129 --> 00:07:42,922
- Sorry, man. Forgot
to give you your pills.
219
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,090
- Thank you.
220
00:07:44,215 --> 00:07:47,468
Also, I had another
accident in my chair.
221
00:07:47,593 --> 00:07:49,137
- It's all good.
I'll run you a bath.
222
00:07:49,262 --> 00:07:50,638
We'll get you cleaned up.
223
00:07:50,763 --> 00:07:52,323
And I'm gonna close
this window for you.
224
00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:53,433
We gotta keep you safe.
225
00:07:53,558 --> 00:07:55,184
- Hey, Lance.
226
00:07:55,268 --> 00:07:57,186
You're the best man I know.
227
00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:58,604
- Ah, thanks, Mr. M.
228
00:07:58,730 --> 00:07:59,814
[laughter]
229
00:07:59,939 --> 00:08:01,219
- Wait, I actually think this is
230
00:08:01,274 --> 00:08:02,817
Cary's suit that I'm wearing.
- Really?
231
00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,527
- Yeah.
- Aw.
232
00:08:04,610 --> 00:08:06,320
- Well, and I love
your suit, Pat.
233
00:08:06,446 --> 00:08:07,447
- Oh, why, thank you.
234
00:08:07,572 --> 00:08:09,782
Isn't it so gorgeous?
235
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,076
And so wait, when do
you go back to work?
236
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,828
- Not till September
or, you know,
237
00:08:13,953 --> 00:08:15,455
really, the last week of August
238
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:16,873
just so I can get
my room set up.
239
00:08:16,956 --> 00:08:19,000
- Still so much
time. That's so nice.
240
00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:20,835
- Ope, Mom, can
you grab me a Coke?
241
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,211
- Oh, and some towels.
242
00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:23,629
Sorry, sorry.
- Sorry.
243
00:08:23,755 --> 00:08:25,631
- Kids. Am I right, Pat?
244
00:08:25,715 --> 00:08:27,383
Always needing
something from you.
245
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:28,718
[phone buzzing]
246
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:29,927
- Oh, it's Cary.
- Aw.
247
00:08:30,011 --> 00:08:31,512
- Hi, honey.
- Hey, Mom.
248
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:32,929
Could I have between $20 million
249
00:08:33,014 --> 00:08:34,849
and $25 million?
250
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:37,435
- Uh, for... why, honey?
251
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,020
Oh, also, you're
on speakerphone.
252
00:08:39,145 --> 00:08:40,813
I'm here with Meg and Mark.
- Hi.
253
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:41,898
- Hey, Cary.
- Hi, Cary.
254
00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,231
- By the way, I was so sorry
255
00:08:43,316 --> 00:08:44,734
to see those pictures
of you online.
256
00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:46,986
First your hole, now
your little penis?
257
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,696
- Oh, no, the penis
was on purpose.
258
00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:50,021
- Oh.
- Uh, it's for this movie
259
00:08:50,073 --> 00:08:52,200
I'm calling about.
- On purpose?
260
00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:55,870
- It is this really beautiful
indie that needs financing,
261
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:57,139
and I was wondering
if you would want
262
00:08:57,163 --> 00:08:58,706
to help get it off the ground.
263
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:01,042
It would really,
really mean a lot.
264
00:09:01,167 --> 00:09:02,710
- Uh, okay.
265
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,337
I mean, sure, honey.
266
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:05,588
- Oh, my God.
- Uh...
267
00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,024
- Thank you so much,
Mom. Thank you.
268
00:09:07,048 --> 00:09:08,966
I really, really appreciate it.
269
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,885
[line beeping]
- Wow. Okay.
270
00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:12,720
We are really moving.
271
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,430
- For the first time, I can see
272
00:09:14,514 --> 00:09:16,015
how you and Brooke are related.
273
00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,892
- [laughs] Okay, so what's next?
274
00:09:18,017 --> 00:09:20,311
- So the last piece of
the puzzle is a director.
275
00:09:20,395 --> 00:09:23,481
I'll move as fast as I can and
start reaching out to people.
276
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,651
- And I'll start generating
Oscar buzz in the press.
277
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,654
In fact, I already
secured you a profile
278
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,364
in "The New York Times."
279
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:33,950
- Whoa. And it's not
too soon for that?
280
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:37,203
- No. The Oscar for next year
may have already been won.
281
00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:39,831
We gotta move.
- Yes. I... I love it.
282
00:09:39,914 --> 00:09:42,583
- So since the movie's
"One Night with Albert,"
283
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,712
they wanna do a feature
called "One Night with Cary,"
284
00:09:45,795 --> 00:09:47,922
where the writer will
just hang out with you
285
00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:49,882
and maybe your
friends and boyfriend
286
00:09:49,966 --> 00:09:53,636
at a bar or something
for one night with Cary.
287
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:56,514
Just whatever you do
on a Friday night.
288
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,183
- Oh. Um... sure, yeah.
289
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:00,977
I mean, I am actually
always hanging out
290
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:04,397
with my friends and boyfriend,
uh, on a Friday night.
291
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,774
- So he'll meet you
and your crew at 8:00
292
00:10:06,899 --> 00:10:08,109
wherever you want.
- Cool.
293
00:10:08,234 --> 00:10:11,696
Uh, yeah, let me
just, uh, call, uh,
294
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:13,573
my boyf and, uh, BFFs
295
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:17,410
and just make sure we're on
for our normal hang sesh.
296
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:18,953
- All right.
[phone buzzes]
297
00:10:19,078 --> 00:10:20,997
Oh. Now it's the
sister. Sorry.
298
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,166
So there was nothing
in his email,
299
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:25,918
and he washed an old
man's butt for free?
300
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:27,920
Maybe they did just ask him.
301
00:10:28,004 --> 00:10:29,964
- Shuli, no. He
hired a publicist.
302
00:10:30,089 --> 00:10:32,258
I just need to see his
phone contacts for proof,
303
00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:34,052
but I can't go back in
looking like myself,
304
00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:35,738
because the doorman
knows I stole his keys.
305
00:10:35,762 --> 00:10:37,055
- That's probably for the best.
306
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,890
- So I went in as a redhead.
- What?
307
00:10:38,973 --> 00:10:40,433
Why does this even matter?
308
00:10:40,558 --> 00:10:43,561
- Because if he didn't hire
a publicist, he's, what,
309
00:10:43,644 --> 00:10:46,189
inherently better than us
and everyone just knows it?
310
00:10:46,272 --> 00:10:47,750
I mean, what does
that make me, Shuli,
311
00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:49,192
dog shit?
312
00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:51,086
- Okay, this sort of feels
like a therapy situation.
313
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:53,130
- [whispering] Oh, I gotta
go. I'll keep you posted.
314
00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:55,114
[line beeping]
- These fucking Dubeks.
315
00:10:55,198 --> 00:10:58,076
- ? My whole life with you ?
316
00:10:58,159 --> 00:11:02,288
? 'Cause you're the sweetest
girl in the entire world ?
317
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:05,792
- All right.
- ? And I would die for you ?
318
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:08,294
[vocalizing]
319
00:11:08,419 --> 00:11:10,630
- [sighs] God.
320
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:11,964
Okay.
321
00:11:12,048 --> 00:11:14,467
Michael ConEd. No.
322
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,803
Sharon Haircut. No.
323
00:11:16,886 --> 00:11:19,180
Where is publicist?
324
00:11:19,305 --> 00:11:20,807
[phone ringing
and buzzing] Oh.
325
00:11:20,932 --> 00:11:25,353
- [singing indistinctly]
326
00:11:25,478 --> 00:11:27,105
- [groans] Unreal.
327
00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:28,272
Mom?
328
00:11:28,356 --> 00:11:29,941
- Hi, Brookie. Guess
what I'm playing.
329
00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:31,192
"Apples to Apples"!
330
00:11:31,317 --> 00:11:33,027
- Ew. Literally why?
- Oh.
331
00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:34,880
- Oh, what do you think
about doing an expos�
332
00:11:34,904 --> 00:11:36,447
on "P!" about nurses?
333
00:11:36,531 --> 00:11:38,008
Like, how much good
do they really do?
334
00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:39,200
Because between you and me,
335
00:11:39,325 --> 00:11:40,618
feels like it's
more the doctors.
336
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,662
- Um, sure, honey.
337
00:11:42,787 --> 00:11:44,330
I mean, I guess we could...
338
00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:45,974
- And since we're not getting
the recognition we deserve
339
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:47,542
for our "Night of
Undeniable Good,"
340
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,419
I wanna have meetings
all next week
341
00:11:49,502 --> 00:11:52,171
about more good stuff we
can do for "P!," okay?
342
00:11:52,296 --> 00:11:53,339
- Oh, rats.
343
00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:55,007
- Oh, fuck. He's
out of the shower.
344
00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:56,110
I gotta go. [line beeping]
345
00:11:56,134 --> 00:11:57,677
- God. She hung up.
346
00:11:57,802 --> 00:11:59,178
- Okay.
347
00:11:59,262 --> 00:12:00,096
Oh!
348
00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:01,931
- Wait. Where's my phone?
349
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:05,101
God, I always lose that thing.
350
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:08,479
But wait, there's an
app Brooke told me about
351
00:12:08,563 --> 00:12:10,064
I can use to find it.
352
00:12:10,189 --> 00:12:12,900
It makes my phone emit a
big, loud screeching noise.
353
00:12:13,025 --> 00:12:15,194
- Uh...
- Wait, shit, what's it called?
354
00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:18,531
- [scoffs] Doesn't remember
'cause he never listens.
355
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:20,283
Yet everyone says he's...
- Oh!
356
00:12:20,366 --> 00:12:21,409
Find My Phone!
357
00:12:21,534 --> 00:12:22,910
Brooke told me
about it at the zoo.
358
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,746
She had just said
that Alexis Bledel
359
00:12:24,871 --> 00:12:26,122
is probably mean in real life.
360
00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:28,916
- Okay, so he does listen?
361
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,728
But who the hell talks
to themselves this much,
362
00:12:30,752 --> 00:12:31,878
like, out loud?
363
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:33,323
Who's this even...
[phone pinging]
364
00:12:33,379 --> 00:12:34,380
[gasps]
365
00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:35,882
- Wait, it's outside?
366
00:12:36,007 --> 00:12:37,467
How's it...
367
00:12:37,550 --> 00:12:39,218
[metal clanking]
- Aah!
368
00:12:39,302 --> 00:12:40,636
[thud]
369
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:42,096
What? Yo!
370
00:12:42,221 --> 00:12:44,223
Hey, man! What the hell?
- It's okay.
371
00:12:44,348 --> 00:12:46,184
He's not gonna chase
me in just a towel.
372
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,728
- Get back here, or I'll have
to chase you in just a towel!
373
00:12:48,853 --> 00:12:50,396
- Fuck.
[groaning]
374
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,481
- Hey!
375
00:12:51,564 --> 00:12:53,441
Hey!
- Huh?
376
00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:55,568
[birds chirping]
377
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:58,821
- Okay, where is my boyfriend?
378
00:12:58,905 --> 00:13:00,073
[laughter]
379
00:13:00,198 --> 00:13:02,492
- Nice and light,
man, all right?
380
00:13:02,575 --> 00:13:03,576
Nice.
381
00:13:03,701 --> 00:13:05,745
[dramatic music]
382
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,246
- Oh, there he is.
383
00:13:07,330 --> 00:13:08,915
- Out of whiskey.
384
00:13:08,998 --> 00:13:11,000
[glass shatters]
- Hey, honey.
385
00:13:11,084 --> 00:13:13,669
Uh, just, uh, stopping by to
see if I could ask a fave.
386
00:13:13,753 --> 00:13:16,923
Um, so "The Times" wants to do
this really cool profile on me
387
00:13:17,048 --> 00:13:19,092
where I hang out
with my boyfriend...
388
00:13:19,217 --> 00:13:20,977
- You know we can't be
seen in town together.
389
00:13:21,094 --> 00:13:23,554
We'll get ourselves
killed... or worse.
390
00:13:23,638 --> 00:13:25,098
- Totally.
391
00:13:25,181 --> 00:13:28,309
I know, uh, you are a
closeted sheepherder now
392
00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:30,937
and we are only supposed
to really hang up here
393
00:13:31,020 --> 00:13:32,730
on the range,
394
00:13:32,814 --> 00:13:34,440
but I just thought
maybe this once...
395
00:13:34,524 --> 00:13:36,692
- Oh, I'm so fucked
up since I met you.
396
00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:39,320
I'm just... I'm nowhere.
397
00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:40,321
I'm nothing.
398
00:13:40,446 --> 00:13:41,406
[whimpers]
399
00:13:41,489 --> 00:13:42,990
- Sorry, is this
from your new movie?
400
00:13:43,116 --> 00:13:44,635
Because it's very
similar to "Brokeback."
401
00:13:44,659 --> 00:13:47,537
- It's just, what we're doing
up here, it ain't right.
402
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:48,830
It ain't natural.
403
00:13:48,955 --> 00:13:50,665
- It's also like
"God's Own Country"?
404
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,835
Wait, are they making
another one of these?
405
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,753
Or wait, is this... sex?
406
00:13:55,837 --> 00:13:57,338
Are we about to have sex?
407
00:13:57,463 --> 00:13:59,090
Oh, right. They
have sex in these.
408
00:13:59,173 --> 00:14:01,050
These characters do have sex.
409
00:14:01,134 --> 00:14:03,177
Oh, thank the Lord, yeah.
Let me see that dick.
410
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,804
Let me see that big, fat...
- [growls]
411
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:07,640
- Okay, whoa.
412
00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:09,159
Getting right to it. I
guess I'll have to see
413
00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:11,644
that dick later, but,
yes, let's... oh.
414
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:13,622
Sorry, I just wanna make sure
we have lube in the tent.
415
00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:14,939
Not sure I saw...
- [spits]
416
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,399
- Hmm.
417
00:14:16,482 --> 00:14:17,918
Not quite sure that's
gonna do the trick.
418
00:14:17,942 --> 00:14:19,402
Is there really no lube in here?
419
00:14:19,485 --> 00:14:22,238
Well, let's at least do more
than just the one... oh!
420
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,991
[groans] I mean, yes.
421
00:14:25,074 --> 00:14:28,202
Oh, finally happening.
422
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,787
- Yeah.
- Love this.
423
00:14:29,871 --> 00:14:32,039
[grunts] Hooray.
424
00:14:34,667 --> 00:14:36,919
- Okay, so that's
a no on the boyf.
425
00:14:37,003 --> 00:14:40,048
Guess I'll try some friends.
426
00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:43,342
Oof.
427
00:14:45,887 --> 00:14:47,430
[sighs]
428
00:14:48,556 --> 00:14:49,682
[clears throat]
429
00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:52,101
[line trills]
430
00:14:52,185 --> 00:14:56,647
Hey, um, so I am calling
because I need some friends
431
00:14:56,731 --> 00:14:59,275
for this, uh, "New York
Times" thing tonight,
432
00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:02,904
and I'm not sure if we
are friends, uh, but...
433
00:15:03,029 --> 00:15:05,364
- Cary, you are my best friend.
434
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:10,078
Oh, but sadly, I do have plans
tonight with, um, a lady.
435
00:15:10,203 --> 00:15:12,413
- Oh, okay, well, I'm...
I'm glad you're...
436
00:15:12,538 --> 00:15:13,873
You're getting back out there.
437
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,291
And that's cool.
438
00:15:15,374 --> 00:15:17,168
I've got tons of other
people I could try.
439
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:18,771
- So I wasn't dead last?
[line beeping]
440
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:20,046
Hell... hello?
441
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,093
- Uh...
442
00:15:25,218 --> 00:15:26,094
[line trills]
443
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:28,346
[phone buzzing]
444
00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,069
[phone pinging]
- Hey, get back here, man!
445
00:15:30,098 --> 00:15:31,808
- Cary? Why are
you calling Lance?
446
00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:33,518
- Brooke? Why do you
have Lance's phone?
447
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:34,977
And what's that alarm?
448
00:15:35,061 --> 00:15:36,861
And why does it sound
like you might be dying?
449
00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:38,999
- 'Cause I stole it to prove
that he hired a publicist,
450
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:40,858
but then he saw, so
he started chasing me.
451
00:15:40,942 --> 00:15:42,262
And I tried to
lose him by running
452
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,796
into some random building,
but it turns out,
453
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,863
it's a fucking utility
closet or something.
454
00:15:45,947 --> 00:15:48,032
And now I'm trapped like
a goddamn animal. Fuck!
455
00:15:48,116 --> 00:15:51,119
- So I take it neither of you
are free for a party tonight.
456
00:15:51,244 --> 00:15:52,721
Also, why didn't you
just drop the phone?
457
00:15:52,745 --> 00:15:54,390
- 'Cause I know there's
a clue in here, Cary.
458
00:15:54,414 --> 00:15:55,873
I just gotta find it.
- Hey, yo, man!
459
00:15:55,957 --> 00:15:57,083
I know you're in there!
460
00:15:57,166 --> 00:15:58,668
- Fuck. He's right above me.
461
00:15:58,751 --> 00:16:00,086
I gotta go, Car.
- Ugh.
462
00:16:00,211 --> 00:16:01,730
So I guess I'll just
text every single person
463
00:16:01,754 --> 00:16:04,424
in my phone and hope someone
shows up to be my friend?
464
00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,176
Both: God, that's
some dark shit.
465
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,761
- Come on, dude! Game over!
466
00:16:08,845 --> 00:16:10,138
There's nowhere else to run!
467
00:16:10,263 --> 00:16:11,823
And you know what?
I'm calling the cops!
468
00:16:11,848 --> 00:16:13,224
- Yeah, fuck, fuck, fuck.
469
00:16:13,307 --> 00:16:15,893
- Is what I would say
if I didn't believe
470
00:16:15,977 --> 00:16:17,645
that we all make mistakes!
471
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,439
- [groans] Come on.
472
00:16:19,522 --> 00:16:22,150
- 'Cause you may have
done some bad things,
473
00:16:22,275 --> 00:16:25,153
but I don't think
you're a bad person.
474
00:16:25,278 --> 00:16:26,654
- You don't?
475
00:16:26,779 --> 00:16:28,257
- So how about you just
give me my phone back,
476
00:16:28,281 --> 00:16:31,159
and I'll let you
go but not before
477
00:16:31,284 --> 00:16:34,829
giving you $600
in cold hard cash.
478
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:37,373
You can go get yourself
a hot meal or maybe even
479
00:16:37,457 --> 00:16:39,958
a new phone, 'cause it seems
like you really need one.
480
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:42,879
- Jesus, did "People"
just find him?
481
00:16:42,962 --> 00:16:44,797
[phone buzzing]
482
00:16:44,881 --> 00:16:46,466
Wait, holy shit.
483
00:16:46,549 --> 00:16:49,010
My PR crew?
484
00:16:49,135 --> 00:16:50,803
"You guys got me this"?
485
00:16:50,887 --> 00:16:53,264
Yes! Fucking knew it, baby!
486
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:54,640
[knocking]
- Hey, man, I'm sorry.
487
00:16:54,766 --> 00:16:56,559
It's just, it's been,
like, this kind of
488
00:16:56,642 --> 00:17:00,813
weird amount of time without
you responding, so I'm just...
489
00:17:00,938 --> 00:17:02,231
Can I have it back?
490
00:17:02,315 --> 00:17:05,568
- Oh.
[with deep voice] Yeah, sure.
491
00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,695
[normally] 'Cause I
got just what I need.
492
00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:08,946
- Thank you.
493
00:17:09,030 --> 00:17:11,783
- Also, I do need a new phone.
494
00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:15,160
[upbeat music playing]
495
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,621
? ?
496
00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:18,544
- Thanks so much for
doing a profile like this.
497
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:21,501
We find it to be a fun
peek inside a celeb's life.
498
00:17:21,626 --> 00:17:24,003
It lets the reader experience
them with their loved ones,
499
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:25,295
their friends.
- Totally.
500
00:17:25,380 --> 00:17:26,589
Uh, such a fun idea.
501
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,174
- Can you introduce
me to everyone?
502
00:17:28,257 --> 00:17:30,093
- Oh, yeah, sorry.
Uh, how rude of me.
503
00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:35,098
Um, this is my ex-agent,
uh, Shrimp Scampi.
504
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:38,518
- No, actually, it's...
It's Skip Schamplin.
505
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,895
Wait, hold on. Is
it Shrimp Scampi?
506
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:42,939
Huh. They both sound right.
507
00:17:43,022 --> 00:17:44,232
- Oh, my God.
508
00:17:44,357 --> 00:17:47,110
And, uh, this is
Vishant Acharya,
509
00:17:47,193 --> 00:17:49,862
another dear friend I met when
I worked at his restaurant.
510
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:53,699
- Yes, though it, uh, sadly
shuttered on March 12, 2020.
511
00:17:53,825 --> 00:17:57,036
That fateful day, someone
found a rat in their pasta.
512
00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,205
- Ew. And, uh, finally,
513
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:02,041
this is Michael...
514
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:03,668
Haircut or, uh...
515
00:18:03,751 --> 00:18:05,378
- My last name's actually Engel.
516
00:18:05,503 --> 00:18:06,522
I just used to cut his hair.
517
00:18:06,546 --> 00:18:09,590
- So yeah, these my besties.
518
00:18:09,716 --> 00:18:10,717
Love these kooks.
519
00:18:10,842 --> 00:18:14,220
Uh, anyway, guys,
go, dance, mingle.
520
00:18:14,345 --> 00:18:16,055
- How unusual all
your best friends
521
00:18:16,139 --> 00:18:18,099
are from your very distant past.
522
00:18:18,224 --> 00:18:19,475
- Well, I'm humble.
523
00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:21,853
I still cherish
the people who...
524
00:18:21,936 --> 00:18:23,229
Who knew me when.
525
00:18:23,354 --> 00:18:25,565
Yeah, let's... Let's
go with that angle.
526
00:18:25,648 --> 00:18:28,276
[sighs]
527
00:18:34,282 --> 00:18:36,784
God, please let
someone real show up.
528
00:18:36,909 --> 00:18:38,578
- So you stole his phone
529
00:18:38,703 --> 00:18:40,872
and he chased you
for three miles
530
00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,415
to give you $600?
531
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:44,500
Yeah, I think it's
time to call it.
532
00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:46,711
He's just that good.
- Nope, no,
533
00:18:46,794 --> 00:18:48,921
because then I saw a
text from his PR crew.
534
00:18:49,005 --> 00:18:50,798
They're coming over at
8:00, so I'm thinking
535
00:18:50,923 --> 00:18:53,092
I could get there early,
hide in his closet,
536
00:18:53,176 --> 00:18:54,376
and then catch him in the act.
537
00:18:54,427 --> 00:18:56,262
- Brooke, do not do that.
538
00:18:56,345 --> 00:18:58,639
- Okay, I will take
that into consideration.
539
00:18:58,765 --> 00:19:01,726
- Plus, the doorman definitely
knows your face now.
540
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:04,103
I mean, you'd have to
go back in in, like,
541
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:05,980
full prosthetics... [laughs]
542
00:19:06,105 --> 00:19:07,523
Like your mom used to do.
543
00:19:07,607 --> 00:19:08,816
- No, you're right.
544
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,276
That would be too far.
545
00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,320
- That would be truly unhinged.
546
00:19:12,445 --> 00:19:15,281
It would be like the
Brooke I knew is dead
547
00:19:15,364 --> 00:19:19,077
and a new, darker Brooke
had risen in her place.
548
00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,120
- Cool. Then yeah,
I won't do it.
549
00:19:21,204 --> 00:19:22,455
[buzzer blares]
- Oh.
550
00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:23,557
- [whispering] Oh,
okay, I gotta go.
551
00:19:23,581 --> 00:19:24,791
I'm walking into a movie.
552
00:19:24,874 --> 00:19:26,959
- She's not walking
into a movie.
553
00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:28,002
- It's open.
554
00:19:28,127 --> 00:19:29,754
- Showtime, baby.
555
00:19:29,837 --> 00:19:32,799
Time to see your PR
crew, Nurse Arroyo,
556
00:19:32,924 --> 00:19:35,468
because I know you got
down in the muck for this.
557
00:19:35,551 --> 00:19:37,762
- Uncle Lance, Uncle
Lance, Uncle Lance!
558
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,972
- Huh?
- Yes!
559
00:19:40,098 --> 00:19:41,724
The whole Puerto Rico crew!
560
00:19:41,808 --> 00:19:44,143
- Oh, my God, it's his
entire extended family
561
00:19:44,227 --> 00:19:45,311
from Puerto Rico?
562
00:19:45,436 --> 00:19:46,938
- We're so proud of you, Lance!
563
00:19:47,021 --> 00:19:48,731
- Hey, you guys got me this.
564
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:51,692
- Let's celebrate
Lance all night.
565
00:19:51,818 --> 00:19:53,528
- Cary, I don't
know if you heard,
566
00:19:53,653 --> 00:19:54,987
but they're making another movie
567
00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:56,713
that's kind of like
"Brokeback Mountain."
568
00:19:56,823 --> 00:19:58,825
- No, I'm... I'm
painfully aware.
569
00:19:58,908 --> 00:20:00,743
- Oh, I think another
friend is here.
570
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,304
- Oh, good, I look
forward to turning around
571
00:20:02,328 --> 00:20:04,330
and seeing who it is.
572
00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:05,498
- Hey, Gary.
573
00:20:05,623 --> 00:20:07,375
- Hey. Uh, everyone,
574
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,461
my old Improv 101 teacher.
575
00:20:10,545 --> 00:20:12,880
Yep, another one of
my true ride-or-dies.
576
00:20:13,005 --> 00:20:14,340
Tom.
577
00:20:14,424 --> 00:20:15,984
- Hey, thank you so much
for sticking with me
578
00:20:16,008 --> 00:20:17,677
despite the allegations.
579
00:20:17,802 --> 00:20:19,303
- Uh, sorry, what allegations?
580
00:20:19,387 --> 00:20:20,722
- Hmm?
- Okay, what do you say
581
00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:22,449
we get the whole posse
together for a pic?
582
00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:24,600
- Oh, sure. Um, and...
583
00:20:24,684 --> 00:20:26,686
And why don't we have my
improv teacher take it?
584
00:20:26,769 --> 00:20:28,187
- Shouldn't we wait
for the old guy?
585
00:20:28,271 --> 00:20:29,939
I think he went to go pee.
586
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:32,734
? ?
587
00:20:32,859 --> 00:20:35,236
- So much better when
it's not crowded.
588
00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:37,196
Whoa, Vishant?
589
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,573
Long time, no see.
590
00:20:38,656 --> 00:20:39,699
- What?
591
00:20:39,782 --> 00:20:41,200
We've been hanging
here all night.
592
00:20:41,284 --> 00:20:43,161
You invited me to this.
593
00:20:43,244 --> 00:20:45,246
- What? Wha...
594
00:20:45,371 --> 00:20:47,039
Oh, wait, is Cary here?
595
00:20:47,165 --> 00:20:48,249
I'm the other gay waiter.
596
00:20:48,374 --> 00:20:50,001
But I guess it's cool,
597
00:20:50,084 --> 00:20:52,378
like, you and he still hang.
598
00:20:52,503 --> 00:20:54,088
- Yeah, "The New York Times"
599
00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:55,798
is doing a profile on him,
600
00:20:55,882 --> 00:20:59,052
and they wanted all of his
best friends to be here for it.
601
00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:00,887
So naturally, he thought of me.
602
00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:02,722
- Hey, why is Cary Dubek
603
00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:05,016
taking pics with the
guy who cuts my hair?
604
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,810
- And the guy who cuts my hair?
605
00:21:11,689 --> 00:21:13,566
- Thanks again for
flying us all in, cuz.
606
00:21:13,649 --> 00:21:15,818
I don't know anyone more
dedicated to his family
607
00:21:15,902 --> 00:21:16,903
than you.
608
00:21:17,028 --> 00:21:19,280
- God, I cannot
do this all night.
609
00:21:19,405 --> 00:21:22,075
I guess I'll sneak
out a third time?
610
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:23,659
- Wait, did I ever tell you guys
611
00:21:23,743 --> 00:21:27,080
about the time Lance tried
to donate so much blood,
612
00:21:27,163 --> 00:21:28,706
he passed out? [laughter]
613
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:30,917
- Yeah, I'm out of here.
- He just kept saying,
614
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,753
"Please, let me donate more.
People need the blood."
615
00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,671
- Yeah, like, 4
liters of the stuff.
616
00:21:35,755 --> 00:21:38,424
[buzzer blares]
- Hey, everybody!
617
00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:40,259
- Aunt Connie, you made it.
618
00:21:40,343 --> 00:21:42,887
My girl!
- Aunt... Aunt Connie?
619
00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:45,473
- How's your leg?
- I'm so sorry I'm late.
620
00:21:45,598 --> 00:21:48,935
- Please, who cares? We
just wanna see that ring!
621
00:21:49,018 --> 00:21:50,436
- Let's go!
622
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,772
- Aw, Connie's getting married?
- Look at it.
623
00:21:52,855 --> 00:21:54,565
- Okay, wait, wait,
I got another one.
624
00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:56,984
Remember the time that Lance
saved that little bird?
625
00:21:57,110 --> 00:21:58,611
- Oh, my God!
626
00:21:58,694 --> 00:22:00,506
I have a "Lance saving a
little animal" story too!
627
00:22:00,530 --> 00:22:02,198
- Me too.
- Me three!
628
00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:04,450
- Okay, no, bye.
629
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,205
[muffled chatter]
630
00:22:09,288 --> 00:22:10,540
- You know, Cary?
- Yeah.
631
00:22:10,623 --> 00:22:12,917
- This man has a very
interesting look.
632
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,002
Are you in need of
an acting agent?
633
00:22:15,128 --> 00:22:16,838
- No, I'm a
full-time journalist.
634
00:22:16,963 --> 00:22:18,464
- Are you in need
of an assistant?
635
00:22:18,589 --> 00:22:20,383
Perhaps a brand-new
Tempur-Pedic mattress?
636
00:22:20,466 --> 00:22:21,968
- Oh, my God.
637
00:22:22,051 --> 00:22:24,512
- I'm very good at picking
out a person's firmness.
638
00:22:24,637 --> 00:22:27,390
You look like a seven to me.
- Hey, guess what.
639
00:22:27,473 --> 00:22:29,809
I saw Cary downstairs.
- What?
640
00:22:29,892 --> 00:22:31,686
I'm Cary.
641
00:22:31,811 --> 00:22:33,688
Or wait, is... is Curtis here?
642
00:22:33,813 --> 00:22:36,941
You... you didn't tell him
why you were here, right?
643
00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:38,776
Just 'cause, uh, I...
644
00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:42,238
I don't want him to be mad
that I invited you and not him.
645
00:22:42,321 --> 00:22:43,823
That's all.
- No.
646
00:22:43,906 --> 00:22:46,451
I didn't tell him, but
I met all his friends,
647
00:22:46,534 --> 00:22:47,827
and they're so nice.
648
00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:49,996
And his boyfriend, he's hot too.
649
00:22:50,121 --> 00:22:51,330
Great big lads.
650
00:22:51,456 --> 00:22:54,876
- Wait, he has... He
has a boyfriend now?
651
00:22:55,001 --> 00:22:57,587
That's... that's great.
- Yeah.
652
00:22:57,670 --> 00:22:59,464
And they're all going
to Curtis' aunt's house
653
00:22:59,547 --> 00:23:01,716
in the Hamptons for
his birthday next week.
654
00:23:01,841 --> 00:23:03,843
- Major jeals, right?
655
00:23:03,926 --> 00:23:06,179
- Yeah, no, he, uh...
He always does that.
656
00:23:06,262 --> 00:23:08,222
It's... it's fun.
657
00:23:08,306 --> 00:23:11,142
It's, um... Yeah,
I'm happy for him.
658
00:23:12,393 --> 00:23:14,854
- So we're gonna add a little
bit of cheese to that...
659
00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:18,483
- [grunting]
660
00:23:18,566 --> 00:23:19,817
[sighs]
661
00:23:19,901 --> 00:23:21,194
Damn it.
662
00:23:23,404 --> 00:23:24,614
Shit.
663
00:23:26,991 --> 00:23:28,367
[horn honking]
664
00:23:28,493 --> 00:23:33,039
- [breathing heavily]
665
00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:38,503
- [muffled] Jesus Christ.
666
00:23:44,509 --> 00:23:46,928
[grunts] Okay.
667
00:23:47,053 --> 00:23:48,721
Oh.
668
00:23:48,805 --> 00:23:51,099
Not doing that again.
669
00:23:51,224 --> 00:23:53,851
[groaning]
670
00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,480
[oven clicking]
671
00:23:57,563 --> 00:23:59,065
[gasps]
672
00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:00,483
What? Oh, my God.
673
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:02,235
Oh, no. Oh, no. Aah!
674
00:24:02,318 --> 00:24:03,486
What do I do? Aah!
675
00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:06,489
[whimpering]
676
00:24:06,572 --> 00:24:08,157
Fuck. Please, no.
677
00:24:08,241 --> 00:24:10,576
Ugh!
678
00:24:10,701 --> 00:24:12,245
[flames roaring]
679
00:24:12,370 --> 00:24:13,746
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
680
00:24:13,830 --> 00:24:15,206
- Fuck, fuck, fuck!
681
00:24:15,289 --> 00:24:18,209
[upbeat music playing]
682
00:24:18,292 --> 00:24:19,585
? ?
683
00:24:19,711 --> 00:24:20,920
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
684
00:24:21,045 --> 00:24:22,755
Oh, my God! [fire
alarm blaring]
685
00:24:22,839 --> 00:24:25,091
Okay, so now it goes off?
686
00:24:26,676 --> 00:24:29,095
- I'm sure I have at least 30.
687
00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:30,555
- Okay, everybody
downstairs. Go.
688
00:24:30,638 --> 00:24:32,098
I'm right behind you.
689
00:24:32,181 --> 00:24:34,101
I just wanna make sure
everyone else is out safe.
690
00:24:34,225 --> 00:24:35,852
- [coughing]
- What's your emergency?
691
00:24:35,935 --> 00:24:38,020
- Please, quick!
There's a fire.
692
00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:40,106
- Don't worry.
Help is on the way.
693
00:24:40,231 --> 00:24:42,525
[door banging]
694
00:24:42,608 --> 00:24:43,943
- Hello, ma'am!
I'm here to help!
695
00:24:44,026 --> 00:24:46,612
- Whoa. That was
actually so fast.
696
00:24:46,738 --> 00:24:49,824
- My name is Lance Arroyo.
697
00:24:49,949 --> 00:24:53,661
- [groans] Just leave me.
698
00:24:53,786 --> 00:24:55,621
Let me die.
- ? Dance until we ?
699
00:24:55,747 --> 00:24:57,123
- Hey, Mack.
700
00:24:57,206 --> 00:24:59,000
Just checking in on
the, uh, director sitch.
701
00:24:59,125 --> 00:25:02,670
As a reminder, I am fully
free until "WindWeaver."
702
00:25:02,795 --> 00:25:06,841
Nothing else going on.
So, uh, excited to shoot.
703
00:25:09,385 --> 00:25:11,304
[sighs]
704
00:25:11,429 --> 00:25:14,348
- Hey, is Lucas Lambert
Moy coming tonight?
705
00:25:14,474 --> 00:25:15,534
Would love to have him for this.
706
00:25:15,558 --> 00:25:16,934
- No. No, no, no.
707
00:25:17,018 --> 00:25:18,561
Uh, even though things are
708
00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:20,313
so, so great with
us right now, um,
709
00:25:20,396 --> 00:25:24,317
I do... I just like to keep my
Fridays for just my friends.
710
00:25:24,442 --> 00:25:26,110
Holy shit. Edie?
711
00:25:26,194 --> 00:25:29,906
Uh, speaking of, uh, one of my
very best friends is here now.
712
00:25:29,989 --> 00:25:31,491
- Hi. Can you tell me
713
00:25:31,616 --> 00:25:33,534
who invited me to this thing?
714
00:25:33,659 --> 00:25:35,453
I, uh... I didn't
save the number.
715
00:25:35,536 --> 00:25:36,930
It's not familiar to
me, and they've been
716
00:25:36,954 --> 00:25:38,114
texting me for, like, a year.
717
00:25:38,164 --> 00:25:41,042
It's starting to drive me nuts.
718
00:25:41,167 --> 00:25:42,668
Oh, Cary Dubek.
719
00:25:42,794 --> 00:25:44,003
All right, that makes sense.
720
00:25:44,128 --> 00:25:45,671
Uh, all right, I
have a dinner thing,
721
00:25:45,755 --> 00:25:48,383
so as far as you know, I
was... I was never here.
722
00:25:48,508 --> 00:25:50,385
- Wait... Edie?
723
00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:51,719
Edie.
724
00:25:51,844 --> 00:25:53,846
Edie. Edie!
725
00:25:53,971 --> 00:25:55,556
- Okay, let's move.
- Yeah, let's do it.
726
00:25:55,681 --> 00:25:58,101
- Um, I should just probably
say bye to Cary first, right?
727
00:25:58,184 --> 00:25:59,685
Like, if Vishant
told him I was here,
728
00:25:59,811 --> 00:26:02,063
I... I don't wanna
be an asshole, so...
729
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,610
Okay, um, I guess never mind.
730
00:26:08,528 --> 00:26:11,114
- [groans]
731
00:26:11,197 --> 00:26:12,782
- Hey, Cary Dubek?
732
00:26:12,865 --> 00:26:14,575
- Oh, my God.
733
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,577
Are we friends? Hi.
734
00:26:16,702 --> 00:26:18,788
- No, I'm with Sallie Mae.
735
00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:20,682
You haven't made a loan
payment in seven years,
736
00:26:20,706 --> 00:26:22,875
but you texted me your location,
737
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:26,546
so I thought I'd show up and
get the $14,000 in person.
738
00:26:26,671 --> 00:26:27,880
Credit card?
739
00:26:28,005 --> 00:26:30,967
[indistinct chatter, laughter]
740
00:26:31,050 --> 00:26:32,635
- [sighs]
741
00:26:34,429 --> 00:26:37,265
[triumphant music]
742
00:26:37,390 --> 00:26:39,892
[cheers and applause]
743
00:26:40,017 --> 00:26:41,436
[in slow motion]
- Ugh.
744
00:26:41,561 --> 00:26:43,771
- You're gonna be okay.
745
00:26:43,896 --> 00:26:45,106
[normally]
- Okay, no.
746
00:26:45,231 --> 00:26:48,317
I can... you know, I
can walk from here,
747
00:26:48,401 --> 00:26:49,986
but thank you, sonny.
748
00:26:50,069 --> 00:26:51,320
- You got her?
- Oh, my God.
749
00:26:51,404 --> 00:26:52,780
Your eyebrow's falling off.
750
00:26:52,905 --> 00:26:57,618
- Oh, um, guess that fire
really licked me good.
751
00:26:57,744 --> 00:26:59,162
[cheers and applause]
- Yes! Yes!
752
00:26:59,245 --> 00:27:00,830
Rescue me, Daddy!
753
00:27:00,913 --> 00:27:03,291
- Okay, sort of
feels like you guys
754
00:27:03,374 --> 00:27:04,917
could take it from here, no?
755
00:27:05,001 --> 00:27:06,627
- Okay, is everyone
accounted for?
756
00:27:06,753 --> 00:27:08,087
- Yeah, yeah. That's everyone.
757
00:27:08,212 --> 00:27:09,881
- Let's hear it for
my sobrino Lance!
758
00:27:09,964 --> 00:27:12,050
[cheers and applause]
759
00:27:12,133 --> 00:27:14,385
- Oh, wait, hold on,
hold on. Where's Connie?
760
00:27:14,469 --> 00:27:15,970
- What?
- [gasps]
761
00:27:16,095 --> 00:27:18,598
Did she not come out with us?
- I... I didn't see her.
762
00:27:18,723 --> 00:27:19,908
- Oh, shit.
Connie, oh, my God.
763
00:27:19,932 --> 00:27:21,350
- She's still inside!
- What?
764
00:27:21,434 --> 00:27:23,019
- Connie!
- Aunt Connie!
765
00:27:23,102 --> 00:27:24,937
- Connie's still in there?
- Aunt Connie!
766
00:27:25,063 --> 00:27:26,647
- C-Connie's still in there?
767
00:27:26,773 --> 00:27:29,192
- My God.
[sirens wailing]
768
00:27:29,275 --> 00:27:32,403
[horn blaring]
769
00:27:32,487 --> 00:27:35,531
- [belches] Oh, God.
770
00:27:35,615 --> 00:27:36,783
Fucking tent.
771
00:27:36,908 --> 00:27:38,284
- [snoring]
772
00:27:38,409 --> 00:27:39,285
Is that a bear?
773
00:27:39,410 --> 00:27:42,288
- No, it's me.
774
00:27:42,371 --> 00:27:44,665
It's just me.
775
00:27:44,791 --> 00:27:48,127
Listen, I can't do this anymore.
776
00:27:49,253 --> 00:27:50,171
I'm so fucked up.
777
00:27:50,296 --> 00:27:53,007
I'm so fucked up
since I met you.
778
00:27:53,132 --> 00:27:57,178
I just... I got no one, nothing.
779
00:27:57,303 --> 00:27:58,864
It's not right what
we're doing together.
780
00:27:58,888 --> 00:28:00,306
It's not natural. I just...
781
00:28:00,390 --> 00:28:02,392
I wish I knew how to...
Oh, my God, I almost said
782
00:28:02,475 --> 00:28:04,435
quit you. Jesus!
783
00:28:06,896 --> 00:28:08,147
It shouldn't be like this.
784
00:28:08,231 --> 00:28:11,484
It shouldn't fucking
be like this.
785
00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:17,824
[both breathing heavily]
786
00:28:19,909 --> 00:28:22,370
[both grunting]
787
00:28:27,333 --> 00:28:29,711
[both grunting]
788
00:28:29,836 --> 00:28:31,337
- [groans]
789
00:28:32,672 --> 00:28:35,383
Yeah. [grunting]
790
00:28:35,508 --> 00:28:37,218
Oh.
791
00:28:37,343 --> 00:28:40,471
[grunting]
792
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,768
Oh, yes.
793
00:28:45,852 --> 00:28:47,895
Oh. [messages swooshing]
794
00:28:48,020 --> 00:28:50,189
[sirens wailing]
795
00:28:50,314 --> 00:28:52,066
- FD's here.
796
00:28:53,151 --> 00:28:55,111
- Oh, my God. I killed Connie.
797
00:28:55,194 --> 00:28:57,196
Wait, where's that from?
- She was just with us.
798
00:28:57,321 --> 00:28:59,615
She was dancing.
- No, she got tired, remember?
799
00:28:59,699 --> 00:29:01,033
- Yeah, I saw her go lie down.
800
00:29:01,159 --> 00:29:02,410
- Shit. So she's sleeping?
801
00:29:02,535 --> 00:29:04,162
- We got one trapped
inside. Let's go.
802
00:29:04,245 --> 00:29:05,705
Move, please. Move, please.
803
00:29:05,788 --> 00:29:07,290
Go, go, go, go, go!
- Oh, my... fuck.
804
00:29:07,373 --> 00:29:08,374
Fuck.
805
00:29:09,834 --> 00:29:11,377
- [laughs]
806
00:29:11,502 --> 00:29:12,670
Look at me!
807
00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:14,422
I'm being saved!
808
00:29:14,505 --> 00:29:16,007
- [sighs]
- Oh, my God.
809
00:29:16,090 --> 00:29:17,550
- Connie!
- What?
810
00:29:17,633 --> 00:29:20,094
I saw everybody else
getting the royal treatment,
811
00:29:20,219 --> 00:29:23,139
so I ducked back in,
and now I'm being saved
812
00:29:23,222 --> 00:29:26,142
by "People's" sexiest man.
813
00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:27,060
- Ew!
814
00:29:27,185 --> 00:29:28,936
You're related to him, Connie.
815
00:29:29,062 --> 00:29:31,898
- Oh, my God.
Thank God, Connie.
816
00:29:31,981 --> 00:29:33,524
- Okay, folks, fire's
been contained.
817
00:29:33,608 --> 00:29:36,694
There is some damage
to the kitchen in 4C.
818
00:29:36,778 --> 00:29:38,946
Could have been worse.
Could have been a lot worse.
819
00:29:39,030 --> 00:29:41,908
Special thanks to Mr. Arroyo
for getting everyone out.
820
00:29:41,991 --> 00:29:43,701
[cheers and applause]
821
00:29:43,785 --> 00:29:46,245
- Lance!
822
00:29:46,329 --> 00:29:49,373
- It's okay. You guys just
had me freaked out, yo!
823
00:29:49,457 --> 00:29:50,833
- Yeah.
824
00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:52,919
Yeah, okay.
825
00:29:53,002 --> 00:29:56,047
I guess he is just that good.
826
00:29:56,130 --> 00:30:01,719
He is truly good,
and I am... bad?
827
00:30:01,803 --> 00:30:05,765
I don't think it could be any
clearer that I am just bad.
828
00:30:05,890 --> 00:30:08,893
[phone ringing]
829
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,478
What? Hello?
830
00:30:10,603 --> 00:30:11,896
- Hi, there. Good evening.
831
00:30:11,979 --> 00:30:13,189
My name is Angelica Yates.
832
00:30:13,272 --> 00:30:14,941
I'm with the GFP
Board of Jurors.
833
00:30:15,024 --> 00:30:16,609
Is this Brooke Dubek?
834
00:30:16,734 --> 00:30:18,444
- Yeah, this is she.
835
00:30:18,528 --> 00:30:20,672
- I'm calling to inform you
that "ChaseDreams Presents:
836
00:30:20,696 --> 00:30:23,658
A Night of Undeniable Good"
has been selected to receive
837
00:30:23,783 --> 00:30:27,286
the 2023 Peabody Award
for Excellence in Media
838
00:30:27,412 --> 00:30:30,665
in the category
of Public Service.
839
00:30:30,790 --> 00:30:34,585
- What? A Peabody Award?
840
00:30:34,669 --> 00:30:36,504
- Yes. Congrat...
841
00:30:36,629 --> 00:30:38,464
- Oh, my God.
842
00:30:38,589 --> 00:30:40,675
I am good!
843
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,719
Yes!
844
00:30:42,802 --> 00:30:46,139
Brooke Dubek is good!
845
00:30:46,222 --> 00:30:47,974
- My fucking kitchen!
846
00:30:50,143 --> 00:30:53,229
- [groaning]
847
00:30:53,312 --> 00:30:54,313
[laughs]
848
00:30:54,439 --> 00:30:56,190
That was incredible.
- [sighs]
849
00:30:56,315 --> 00:30:58,901
So much better than
Marvel's Simu Liu.
850
00:30:58,985 --> 00:31:00,445
- [chuckles]
851
00:31:00,528 --> 00:31:04,323
- Oh, I've missed
you so much, Streety.
852
00:31:04,449 --> 00:31:07,994
- I missed you too, my Patricia.
853
00:31:08,119 --> 00:31:11,289
- But this just
can't happen again.
854
00:31:11,372 --> 00:31:12,498
- No.
855
00:31:12,623 --> 00:31:14,500
No, no, no, because
I thought about it,
856
00:31:14,584 --> 00:31:16,669
and it could be fun that
you always need to wear
857
00:31:16,753 --> 00:31:18,004
prosthetics to go to dinner.
858
00:31:18,129 --> 00:31:21,215
It'll be like every
day is Halloween.
859
00:31:21,340 --> 00:31:22,675
- No.
860
00:31:22,759 --> 00:31:25,428
I just... I can't have
you be part of my family
861
00:31:25,511 --> 00:31:26,888
anymore, Streeter.
862
00:31:27,013 --> 00:31:28,765
I need you to just be my manager
863
00:31:28,848 --> 00:31:31,142
so my family can be my family.
864
00:31:33,186 --> 00:31:34,103
- What do you mean?
865
00:31:34,187 --> 00:31:37,023
- I just... [sighs]
866
00:31:37,106 --> 00:31:39,859
I didn't miss anything
in Ohio except my kids.
867
00:31:39,942 --> 00:31:44,197
I was there, and I realized
I don't have my kids anymore
868
00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,324
or not the way I had them.
869
00:31:46,407 --> 00:31:47,950
And everything in my
life can be insane
870
00:31:48,034 --> 00:31:49,702
but not me and them.
871
00:31:49,786 --> 00:31:51,204
We need to be normal.
872
00:31:51,329 --> 00:31:54,582
And if we're normal, then
I can handle the rest.
873
00:31:54,707 --> 00:31:58,628
So first thing tomorrow, I need
to pull out of Cary's movie.
874
00:31:58,711 --> 00:32:01,047
And I need to...
875
00:32:01,130 --> 00:32:03,049
I need to fire
Brooke as my manager.
876
00:32:05,134 --> 00:32:06,552
Okay, good night.
877
00:32:08,763 --> 00:32:10,723
[sighs]
878
00:32:10,807 --> 00:32:11,766
- Uh-oh.
879
00:32:11,891 --> 00:32:12,934
[upbeat music]
880
00:32:13,059 --> 00:32:15,937
- [singing in Spanish]
881
00:32:16,062 --> 00:32:16,723
? ?
882
00:32:16,773 --> 00:32:21,323
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