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1
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:06,674
Ah, this is quite
the unexpected treat.
2
00:00:06,799 --> 00:00:08,175
The best part
is you're doing this
3
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,093
solely out of the goodness
of your own heart
4
00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:12,387
with no expectations
of what's to follow.
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:14,014
Oh, you couldn't
be more wrong.
6
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,433
(CHUCKLES)
7
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,310
I'm, uh
I'm angling for sex.
8
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,562
(CHUCKLES)
9
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,021
Well, you could get me
another glass of wine.
10
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:24,023
I could
see this happening.
11
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,485
I should go uncork
another bottle
of the yes juice.
12
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,821
(LAUGHS)
13
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,155
And I will be
waiting right here.
14
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,742
Seriously, couch sex?
15
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,953
Mmm, if your quads
are up for it.
16
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,371
You kidding?
This is what we train for.
17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,001
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
18
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,839
(CLEARS THROAT)
19
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:47,923
Audrey,
I need to
talk to you.
20
00:00:48,047 --> 00:00:49,216
Oh, Liz, no, no.
21
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,425
It's actually
not a great time...
22
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,428
Get this party started.
(DOOR CLOSES)
23
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:54,429
Oh, my God.
What the hell?
24
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:57,850
There's been a death
in my family.
25
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,019
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
26
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:01,186
Who was it?
27
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:03,355
My cat Corny.
28
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:06,650
Cat? Don't you have,
like, eight of 'em?
29
00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:10,863
Well, I do now.
30
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:12,614
That's a real bummer.
Why don't you
head on out
31
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,157
and Audrey
will be able to comfort you
in about five minutes.
32
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:17,995
Ten minutes.
33
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:23,584
I miss my puss puss.
34
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:25,961
So do I.
Don't.
35
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:30,799
I mean, I suppose
I should've
seen it coming.
36
00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,426
Forty eight hours
is a much longer nap
37
00:01:32,551 --> 00:01:33,802
than Corny
usually took, but...
38
00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:36,555
Poor Corny.
39
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:39,892
Is there a dead cat
in that bag?
40
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:44,688
Jeff, come on,
she's not insane.
41
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:45,731
I thought you'd want
to say goodbye.
Oh.
42
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:49,192
I would.
Goodbye, Liz.
43
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,655
Jeff, your playful
badinage
44
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:56,241
is really a life raft
of levity
in my ocean of despair.
45
00:01:57,659 --> 00:02:00,871
But I've come
to a conclusion.
46
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,623
I'm gonna replace
the life I lost
with a new life.
47
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,751
You're gonna get
another cat?
48
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,753
No. I'm gonna
have a baby.
49
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:12,967
A human baby?
50
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,099
♪ How many ways
to say I love you?
51
00:02:23,102 --> 00:02:25,437
♪ How many ways
to say that I'm not scared?
52
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:32,319
♪ With you by my side
There is no denying
53
00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:35,280
♪ I can't wait
for me and you ♪
54
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,918
Hey, knock, knock.
55
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,711
Who's there?
It's Timmy.
56
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,882
What are you
doing here, dude?
57
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,592
You're not usually
the happy hour
with coworkers type.
58
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,137
Oh, I just thought
I'd pop in
and say hello.
59
00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:03,684
Oh, you dirty dog.
60
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,978
You're after
the new girl,
Charlotte.
61
00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:07,604
Guilty as charged,
Mr. Rhodes.
62
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:08,939
Ah, all right.
Well, get out there.
63
00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:09,773
Go over there
and work it.
64
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,025
Oh, well...
65
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:11,984
I said work it.
66
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,447
(CLEARS THROAT)
67
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:19,366
Charlotte, hello.
68
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,284
Oh, hey, Timmy.
69
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:23,495
You usually
don't do happy hour.
70
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,497
Well, I figured
I was entitled
71
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:26,665
to one hour
of happiness today.
72
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,083
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
73
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,127
Ah, who ordered
the ham on wry?
74
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:35,049
Spelled wry.
No?
75
00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:35,924
All right then,
let me get you
another glass of wine.
76
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,385
Excuse me.
77
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,720
If I could perhaps
place an order for...
78
00:03:39,845 --> 00:03:41,013
Hey, barkeep,
can I get a cold one?
79
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,097
You got it, buddy.
Thanks.
80
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,098
Hey, Charlotte.
Hey.
81
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,224
Hey, are you thirsty?
82
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,768
Make it two.
83
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,021
A cold beer
on a warm day,
so good.
84
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,314
Am I right
or am right?
85
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:52,900
You know, um,
that beer's actually
a hefeweizen,
86
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:54,275
which is German for...
87
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,235
Hey, come on,
I got a table over here.
88
00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:57,696
Yeast wheat.
89
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,701
Jeez.
Bombs away, Timmy.
90
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:04,703
What happened there?
91
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:07,664
Joe happened.
92
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,875
Seems he's the life
of the party.
93
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,168
Hey, you are every bit
as fun and as cool
JOE: Hey, Adam.
94
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130
Oh, my God.
Joe's calling me over.
Wish me luck.
95
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,388
(TAPPING)
96
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:26,641
What are you doing?
97
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,602
Adjusting the levels
of lemon and sugar.
98
00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,522
I like my iced tea
just right.
99
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:35,234
Okay, Goldilocks.
100
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:41,949
Well, my trip
to the sperm bank
was a bust.
101
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,829
What was the problem?
102
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,289
Well, they had a book
where you look
at donors' stats,
103
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:52,126
like height and ethnicity,
but no photos.
104
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,461
I mean, how do I know
what these guys
are really like?
105
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,922
Ah, bunch of guys
rubbing one
out for cab fare,
106
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,632
can't be a dud
in the bunch.
107
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,220
So I got to thinking.
108
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,680
What about one of them
I've already dated?
109
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,849
Maybe one of them
would be willing
to be my baby daddy.
110
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,560
(LAUGHS)
Okay, Liz.
111
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,812
I think I know
where this is headed,
112
00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,105
but I'm sorry...
113
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:14,481
Oh, don't worry.
I'm not asking you.
114
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:18,110
Because you knew
I was gonna say no?
115
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,444
Doesn't matter.
116
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,488
I'm not asking.
117
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,615
Well, for the record,
I said no first.
118
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,908
To a question
I didn't ask.
119
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,828
Okay.
You were saying?
120
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,288
Anyway...
No.
121
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,082
Go on.
122
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:38,130
Anyway, one of my exes
never called me back.
123
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,215
Another one
had his phone
disconnected.
124
00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:42,050
And another one's
brother answered
125
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:44,343
and said that my ex
had just died,
126
00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,680
which was spooky
because his brother
sounded exactly like him.
127
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,853
Wow.
That's bad... Luck.
128
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,689
So who did you
end up finding?
129
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:56,815
No one.
130
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,358
No one, you say?
131
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,323
No one whose seed
I'd like to plant
in my uterine garden.
132
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,490
Oh, God.
133
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,661
Well, I need to figure out
something and fast.
134
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,039
I'm pushing 40.
135
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:13,123
Sure you're not
pulling it?
136
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,333
(CHUCKLES)
137
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,336
Jeff, laugh out "l."
138
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,091
Huh.
139
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,343
Different way to go.
140
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:28,347
Keep your phone
turned on.
141
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,601
What's the matter,
Timmy?
142
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,314
Ah, he's bummed
because he got shined
by some chick at work.
143
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,025
Yes. I'm afraid
woe and me
are one in the same.
144
00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:44,863
Keep talking like that,
you're never
gonna get some.
145
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,743
Jeff, maybe Timmy's goal
is not to "get some."
146
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,703
I'm afraid getting some
is, indeed, my goal.
147
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,540
Well, you know,
part of the problem
148
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:58,126
is you're all,
"Chip, chip, cheerio.
149
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,129
"Ooh, all's well.
(CHUCKLES)
150
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,923
"Your virginity's safe
with me, milady."
151
00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:06,927
He's right,
if you wanna score
heavy with the ladies,
152
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,971
you gotta be an alpha,
you gotta be the big dog.
153
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:11,973
You know,
a guy guy's wanna be
and women wanna be with.
154
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,853
Are you doing
a cologne ad?
155
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:24,152
So um,
you've seen
this type of guy?
156
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:25,237
I've got a mirror,
don't I?
157
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:26,196
Oh.
158
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,992
So uh, what's your secret
to being an alpha?
159
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:32,827
Well, I'm a man
of few words.
160
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,371
And this works?
161
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,335
Ah, you're doing it
right now.
162
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,629
Well done.
163
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,756
See, the less you say,
the more people like you.
164
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,258
Mmm-hmm.
165
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,884
I like Jeff way better
when he's not talking.
166
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,472
Timmy, you are great.
Just be yourself.
This girl will see that.
167
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,641
That's a great plan
168
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,350
if you wanna die
with your hand
wrapped around
169
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,059
your business.
170
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,604
I don't.
171
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,400
I truly don't
want to die
172
00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:04,109
with my hand
wrapped around
my business.
173
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:09,823
Hey.
Hey.
174
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,199
Got a package for 9a.
175
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:13,952
Really? What is it?
176
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,787
They generally
don't let us
open the boxes and look.
177
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,581
Oh, you're welcome
to stick around
178
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,125
and find out,
if you're curious.
179
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:21,293
I'm not.
180
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:23,211
Eh.
181
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,765
(GRUNTS)
182
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,351
You think
you're better than me,
huh, box?
183
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:42,647
(GRUNTS)
184
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,986
Oh, has your mom's
wedding dress
arrived yet?
185
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,654
No, but it should
any day now.
186
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,490
Oh, I can't wait
to see it.
187
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:53,158
I know.
I'm a little worried
about wearing it,
188
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:54,701
because it's antique
and really delicate.
189
00:08:54,826 --> 00:08:55,869
(GRUNTING)
190
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,918
Ah, that dress
has held up
all these years.
191
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:04,919
I'm sure it'll be fine.
192
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,280
Hi.
Hi.
193
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:33,240
What are you doing?
194
00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:35,200
Just... Window.
195
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,537
All right.
196
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,787
Hey, did my dress
come yet?
197
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,622
Dress?
Not that I'm aware of.
198
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,583
Ugh. My mom
thought it'd arrive today.
199
00:09:43,708 --> 00:09:45,293
Well, sounds like
your mom's a liar.
200
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,297
A liar?
That's just what
she thought.
201
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,882
Really?
Well, maybe
you guys
202
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,175
need to get
your story straight.
203
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:52,384
Anyway, gotta rip.
Dress ya later.
204
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,512
(DOOR CLOSES)
205
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,683
Hey, Timmy,
what's going on?
206
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:01,935
Ah, hello, Cha...
207
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:04,687
'Sup?
208
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:07,774
Whatcha eatin'?
209
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,234
This.
210
00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,072
We're all going out
for happy hour again,
if you wanna come.
211
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,160
You've been
really quiet today.
212
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,245
Are you okay?
213
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:21,871
Yep.
214
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,209
Hey, Charlotte, Timmy,
what's going on?
215
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,295
Hey, Joe.
Wanna join us for lunch?
216
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,255
Oh, what,
in the stuffy break room?
217
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,132
What do you say
we take lunch outside?
218
00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,633
Maybe hit the park,
get a little froyo?
219
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,343
That sounds fun.
All right.
220
00:10:35,469 --> 00:10:36,844
I'll go round up
the troops.
221
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,263
Hey, Timmy,
do you like
frozen yogurt?
222
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,061
Okay.
See ya later.
223
00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:51,151
(EXHALES)
224
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,361
One day closer
to the most
embarrassing death ever.
225
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,284
Well, I've lost my faith
in the internet community.
226
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:02,996
What happened?
227
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,705
Well, I put an ad
on Craigslist
228
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,500
to see if there were
any men who wanted
229
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,042
to put a baby in me,
no questions asked.
230
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,422
Oh, no. No, no.
Oh, yes.
231
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,882
And this time
I remembered
to ask for pictures,
232
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,009
which I got.
233
00:11:17,636 --> 00:11:20,639
Oh, God. Oh.
234
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,890
All I got in my inbox
were a tsunami
of dong pics.
235
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,145
Every response I click
is like a church bell.
236
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:28,146
Dong.
237
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,315
Dong.
238
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,318
Dong.
Ugh.
239
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,111
Dong.
Okay, all right.
240
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:35,820
That's enough,
come on.
Ugh.
241
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,031
Sorry I'm late.
242
00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:40,158
Yeah, you're not,
really.
243
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,242
(CLEARS THROAT)
All right.
244
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,953
So, Liz, listen.
245
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,665
Having a baby
is a very big deal.
246
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,249
I mean, Jeff and I
talked about it a lot.
247
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,959
Well,
I mostly listened.
248
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,921
You talked about
my situation?
249
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,674
Well, yeah.
I mean, look at us.
250
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,426
We are having our baby
in a nontraditional way,
251
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:00,470
but we didn't
go with a stranger.
252
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,347
We picked Brenda
as our surrogate,
253
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,974
someone who's already
in our life,
someone we know.
254
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,685
So you're saying
I should go with
someone I know?
255
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,936
Exactly, yes.
256
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:09,688
You agree,
right, Jeff?
257
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,231
Yeah, sure.
258
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,444
I think I understand
what you're saying.
259
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,155
Jeff, I would be honored
to have you
put a baby in me.
260
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,324
Ugh.
261
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,039
So I'm following him
to your house
or my house?
262
00:12:58,861 --> 00:12:59,946
(GRUNTS)
263
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:01,531
Come on.
264
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,283
(GRUNTS)
265
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:05,744
Ah!
266
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,039
Drop it in your beer.
267
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,249
Gives it a nice
little kick.
268
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,877
Once again,
I'm at happy hour,
269
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,380
being ignored while Joe
is the life of the party
270
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:19,048
for telling everyone
to drop a jalapeno
in their beer.
271
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,717
JEFF: Oh, that's good.
272
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:21,468
Gives it
a nice little kick.
273
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,681
It sounds like
you gotta step up
your big dog move.
274
00:13:26,805 --> 00:13:28,725
'Cause when
push comes to shove,
275
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,017
the alpha throws down
his credit card.
276
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:33,438
With all due respect,
I've never
seen you do that.
277
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,442
With me,
push never
comes to shove.
278
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:40,819
All right, everyone.
279
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,948
Drinks are on me.
280
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,283
(CHEERING)
281
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:46,618
Timmy!
282
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,496
(ALL CHANTING) Timmy!
283
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,956
Barkeep, tequila shots
for everyone.
284
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,958
Fun idea, Joe.
Joe! Joe! Joe!
285
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,752
(ALL CHANTING) Joe!
286
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,258
What happened?
287
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:04,344
So it's noticeable?
288
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,554
Yes.
289
00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:08,222
Look, you gotta
help me.
290
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,767
I mean, I guess I know
some costume designers
291
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:12,185
from my magazine days
who could maybe
do something,
292
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,936
but it ain't
gonna be cheap.
293
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,396
Ii don't care
what it costs.
294
00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:18,650
Maybe don't
say that to them.
295
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,406
What, are you buying
a clarinet?
296
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,369
Oh, no.
297
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,793
So, hear you're not
having too much luck
298
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,503
in your quest
for a stud.
299
00:14:40,839 --> 00:14:43,466
I am not,
and time's running out.
300
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,051
You know,
I'm pushing 40.
301
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:46,678
(CHUCKLES)
As am I.
302
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:50,097
Anyway,
I've pretty much
exhausted
303
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:51,891
all my options
for a donor.
304
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,434
Oh, have you?
305
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,644
All of them?
306
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:57,856
Oh, you're right,
I haven't.
307
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,357
Mmm-hmm.
308
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,817
What's Timmy's
cell phone number?
309
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:03,944
What?
Timmy?
My Timmy?
310
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,739
What are you talking about?
Are you serious?
311
00:15:05,864 --> 00:15:06,906
What are you
trying to say,
little man?
312
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,993
Not that I'd want to,
313
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,037
but why wouldn't you
ask me?
314
00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,707
Well, nothing personal,
but I was just
315
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,166
looking for someone
a little more...
316
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,002
Way better than you.
317
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,591
I get that.
318
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:28,386
And I wanted someone
with good genes.
319
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:30,346
I come from good stock.
320
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:31,972
I know.
That's why
I asked your dad.
321
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,352
You know what?
You're lucky
he turned you down.
322
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,480
He wasn't exactly
father of the year.
323
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,940
I don't know
where he got
that coffee mug.
324
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:46,279
Russell,
are you volunteering
to father my child?
325
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,281
No, I'm just
saying that
326
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,908
I have thought
327
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,619
that it might be nice
to maybe have
328
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,746
a little Russell Junior
running around the world.
329
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,249
I am in my
ovulation window.
330
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,168
Yuck.
331
00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:03,671
Oh, what the hell?
Let's go do this.
332
00:16:03,797 --> 00:16:04,881
All right!
333
00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,428
Wait, did you really
ask my dad?
334
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,430
Yeah, and he said
having kids was
the worst thing he ever did.
335
00:16:19,687 --> 00:16:20,939
Audrey, thank you.
Thank you, again.
336
00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:23,858
Your friend totally
fixed the dress.
337
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,985
You know,
I had to split it over
a couple credit cards
338
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,570
'cause my cash
is all tied up
in the wedding
339
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,780
and these new hair care
products I'm into, so...
340
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,700
(DOOR RATTLING)
341
00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:34,034
Oh, look,
I gotta go, gotta go.
342
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,579
Hey.
343
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,456
Guess what finally came.
344
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,125
My wedding dress!
Yeah.
345
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:48,800
Mmm,
that's how you do it.
346
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:55,097
Ah, wow, she did do
a great job.
347
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,142
Who did?
348
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,604
Pfft, your mom
did a great job
of mailing it.
349
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:02,522
I mean, it's, like,
totally here.
350
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,276
Mmm?
Wait a minute.
351
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,904
This is the dress
from her first marriage.
352
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,030
She was supposed to send
the one from her second.
I'll go call her.
353
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,992
Wait a minute. Wait.
354
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,660
So you're not
gonna wear this?
355
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,077
God, no.
It looks so cheap.
356
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,714
Yes, hi.
357
00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:28,798
I'd like to report
several stolen credit cards.
358
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,803
All right, big boy,
you ready to do this?
359
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,054
Oh, yes.
360
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,556
Me too.
361
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,098
Let's make a baby.
362
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,350
(LAUGHS)
363
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:45,773
RUSSELL: Ah.
364
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,906
Well, it doesn't
feel like you're ready.
365
00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:57,201
(SIGHS)
366
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,332
Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Bingham.
What brings you here?
367
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:05,209
Oh, Jeff just decided
to take me out to dinner.
368
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,878
Mmm,
what's the occasion?
369
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,421
Did you throw down
that credit card?
370
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:09,714
Yes, but I'm afraid...
371
00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:11,340
We'd like two steaks,
all the trimmings.
372
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,341
Put it on
this guy's tab.
373
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,805
Uh, so how's the whole
alpha guy
situation going?
374
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:18,806
Not well, actually.
375
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,182
If you're not an alpha,
376
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,475
people are gonna
walk all over you.
377
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,394
A bottle of your
finest cabernet.
378
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,186
(WHISPERS)
Same tab.
379
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,399
You know, Timmy,
I was against this
from the start.
380
00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:30,777
Because I don't think
you need to change
at all.
381
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,695
I mean,
if you like this girl,
don't play games.
382
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:33,988
Just be yourself.
383
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,031
Tell her how you feel.
384
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:37,658
Thank you, Miss Bingham.
385
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:39,368
You're quite right.
386
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,245
Pardon me.
387
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,167
Um, Charlotte,
might I have a word,
please?
388
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,461
Oh, of course, Timmy.
389
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:52,256
I've done a lot
of thinking recently
390
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,051
about how
one person conveys
their feelings to another.
391
00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,052
I've been
thinking about that too.
392
00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,263
Really?
393
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,682
Well, um,
I've come to realize
394
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:03,392
that it's best
to just be direct,
395
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,478
and lay one's feelings
on the line.
396
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,188
You know what?
That makes
a lot of sense.
397
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,565
Oh, I'm so glad
to hear you
say that because...
398
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,776
Joe, I really like you
and was wondering
399
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,319
if maybe you'd like
to go on a date with me.
400
00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,988
Yeah,
of course I would.
401
00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:16,114
Did not
see that coming.
402
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:18,866
I did.
403
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,955
And I, uh,
couldn't do it.
404
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,414
(CHUCKLES)
405
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,083
Turns out
the old Russell muscle
406
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,085
can't be used for good,
only evil.
407
00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:32,630
Are you sure
that's it?
408
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,215
Maybe it can't be used
at all anymore.
409
00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:37,927
Oh, yeah.
I was worried
about that too,
410
00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:41,347
so uh,
later that night
I ran some diagnostics.
411
00:19:43,683 --> 00:19:44,475
Ugh.
412
00:19:46,811 --> 00:19:47,770
Russell.
413
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:49,563
Elizabeth.
414
00:19:52,232 --> 00:19:53,734
Big news.
415
00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:54,652
We're pregnant!
416
00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,279
BOTH: What?
417
00:19:57,404 --> 00:19:59,866
No, I thought
Russell couldn't...
418
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:01,951
Oh, I'm not pregnant,
not with this
wet noodle over here.
419
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,038
Then who's pregnant?
420
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,665
Cotton!
She's having kittens.
421
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:08,791
Cotton, wasn't that
the dead one in the bag?
422
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:15,506
No, Jeff,
that was Corny.
423
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:16,465
Keep up!
424
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:18,926
No offense.
425
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,977
I can't believe
Timmy actually died
like that.
426
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,648
I can't believe
the mortician
427
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:33,524
couldn't pry his hand
off it.
428
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,361
I can't believe
they opted for
an open casket.
429
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:40,447
They didn't.
I propped it open.
430
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,615
Hilarious.
431
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:44,785
Oh, Timmy.
432
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:46,913
Oh, Timmy.
433
00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,039
(CHUCKLES)
Meow, meow.
434
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,544
Wow, Timmy,
I always thought
you were such a great...
435
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:55,379
Oh, Charlotte and Joe
are here!
436
00:20:56,714 --> 00:20:59,299
Poor Timmy.
Yeah.
437
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,551
Charlotte,
will you marry me?
438
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,011
Yes!
439
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:03,512
(ALL CHANTING) Joe!
440
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:05,848
(GASPS)
30463
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