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1
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:07,754
Yes!
2
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,881
Baby Billy loves you now.
3
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,299
Baby Billy loves you so much.
4
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,384
It's so good to be
with all y'all
5
00:02:13,468 --> 00:02:15,428
here at Zion's Landing.
6
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:20,016
Now, come see me now,
7:00 at the Mangrove Pavilion,
7
00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:21,142
every night.
8
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,351
You gon' love it.
9
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:29,692
Every night.
10
00:02:31,486 --> 00:02:33,196
- Daddy's home.
- Ugh.
11
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:35,448
Must be hot out there.
12
00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:38,159
You bet your ass it's hot.
13
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,328
It's hotter than hell,
if I'm being honest.
14
00:02:42,413 --> 00:02:44,415
If we weren't staying
in this fancy hotel,
15
00:02:44,499 --> 00:02:46,167
I don't think I could do it.
16
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,920
Yeah, the commute ain't bad.
17
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:53,424
The rest of it's wearing thin,
singing by a fucking pool.
18
00:02:53,508 --> 00:02:55,176
It's a nice pool.
19
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:57,178
You're doing so well
for somebody who used to be
20
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:58,763
a famous singer long ago.
21
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,140
What you talking 'bout,
used to be famous?
22
00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:02,850
I'm still famous.
23
00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:04,352
Of course.
24
00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,020
Why do you want
to play mind games?
25
00:03:06,062 --> 00:03:07,188
Get all in my head?
26
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:10,233
Baby, you're being silly.
27
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:13,778
I'm very proud of you,
and so is Lionel.
28
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,571
Aren't you, buddy?
29
00:03:15,655 --> 00:03:18,449
Everybody that's famous knows
30
00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:20,827
that true famous people
go through different phases
31
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,620
on the Being Famous Train.
32
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,372
I'm a international-known
talent.
33
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,997
I deserve a mainstay,
34
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,043
not singing for a bunch
of basic Christian sun bums.
35
00:03:29,085 --> 00:03:30,378
Yeah.
36
00:03:30,461 --> 00:03:31,661
That lasts at least ten years.
37
00:03:32,714 --> 00:03:34,757
That's what I need right there.
38
00:03:34,841 --> 00:03:37,427
My own game show.
39
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,637
Just standing
in air conditioning all day,
40
00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:42,848
looking cool, being charming.
41
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,893
Boy, I bet they knock out
20 of them episodes a day,
42
00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:46,978
printing money.
43
00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:49,188
Bet you a game show host
makes a bunch of money.
44
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,565
Yep.
45
00:03:50,606 --> 00:03:52,567
That pretty girl
that hands out prizes,
46
00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,069
she makes a lot
of money too, now.
47
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,071
I can hand out prizes on TV?
48
00:03:57,155 --> 00:04:00,533
Well, you the prettiest girl
I know.
49
00:04:00,575 --> 00:04:02,535
And if Lionel learns
how to speak,
50
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,245
he could be our announcer.
51
00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:05,454
And a job for our baby
Aimee-Leigh Jr.
52
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:06,664
when she gets born.
53
00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:09,459
If she's got talent,
you bet your ass.
54
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:13,046
I think we just witnessed
a mission from God.
55
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:16,423
Is that what that was?
56
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:17,674
It's time for Baby Billy to be
57
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,177
back on the motherfucking TV.
58
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:21,846
Yay!
59
00:04:32,774 --> 00:04:35,443
Them feds were everywhere,
jumping out from trees,
60
00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:38,362
behind bushes,
screaming and hollering.
61
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,364
So much screaming and hollering.
62
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,200
Motherfuckers got Ruby Ridged.
63
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,785
We made it to the safe house,
64
00:04:43,826 --> 00:04:46,245
but then Pa said
y'all called the feds,
65
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:48,122
and he accused us
of helping you.
66
00:04:48,164 --> 00:04:49,665
And don't forget about
67
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:51,875
cutting the tip
of Jacob's ear off.
68
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,044
Chew your food.
69
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:55,129
God gave you teeth for a reason.
70
00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:56,631
Yes, ma'am.
71
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,299
You sure you didn't
tip off the law, Eli?
72
00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,258
I could see you doing that.
73
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,843
I already told you no.
74
00:05:00,927 --> 00:05:02,720
I never wanted nothing
to do with this.
75
00:05:02,804 --> 00:05:05,515
Well, he thinks you did,
and that's all that matters,
76
00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:08,476
so now we're on
his shit list too.
77
00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:09,644
Thanks, Mama.
78
00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:12,397
How can you hate me
more than him?
79
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,732
Blame me for everything.
Everything's my fault!
80
00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:17,360
Because everything
is your fault!
81
00:05:17,443 --> 00:05:19,195
Bringing the Gemstones
into this?
82
00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:20,822
Now look where we are.
83
00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:24,033
In a mansion,
wearing fucking bathrobes?
84
00:05:24,117 --> 00:05:26,786
Oh, shit!
85
00:05:26,828 --> 00:05:28,746
All right, Chuck, stop your
fussing and your talking back.
86
00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:29,747
Just come home.
87
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,666
We ain't going nowhere with you.
88
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,543
Get that through your head.
89
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:36,379
We'd rather be homeless bums
living under a bridge.
90
00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:37,588
We would?
91
00:05:37,672 --> 00:05:39,799
Yes, Karl, we would.
92
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:44,220
Why?
93
00:05:44,303 --> 00:05:46,681
May-May!
94
00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:49,434
Where the heck you think
you're going, dummy?
95
00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:52,854
- You heard 'em.
- Just like you, they hate me.
96
00:05:52,937 --> 00:05:54,897
Maybe they grew up
smarter than they seem.
97
00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:57,066
Is this how you're gonna
handle your boys?
98
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:58,359
Just walk away?
99
00:05:58,401 --> 00:05:59,568
If I don't leave,
they're going to.
100
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:01,028
At least here,
there's guarded gates
101
00:06:01,112 --> 00:06:02,488
between them and their father.
102
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,283
No, no, you're not
sticking your boys with me.
103
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,993
No, I'm not harboring fugitives.
104
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,744
Now, I'll give 'em
some walking around money
105
00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:10,663
- and send them on their way.
- No, you won't.
106
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,290
They'll get themselves killed.
107
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,041
You keep 'em here.
You keep 'em safe.
108
00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:15,293
You're their uncle.
109
00:06:20,048 --> 00:06:22,884
Do you want me to say "please"?
Fine, Eli.
110
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:27,055
Please, please keep that
wicked man away from my sons.
111
00:06:37,774 --> 00:06:40,359
She kung fu'd my larynx, Daddy.
112
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:43,154
My voice is God's gift, dude.
113
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,364
May-May could have ruined that
forever just now.
114
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,325
Yeah, what were
you thinking, Daddy?
115
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:48,743
You won't even help
your own kids,
116
00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:50,577
but you'll take in these bozos?
117
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:54,082
Two fucking fugitives just
roaming around the compound
118
00:06:54,165 --> 00:06:56,250
like damn free-range chickens.
119
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:58,294
They're not livestock, Jesse.
120
00:06:58,378 --> 00:07:00,630
They're our family,
first cousins.
121
00:07:00,713 --> 00:07:03,091
Uh, they're fucking
Montgomerys is what they are.
122
00:07:03,174 --> 00:07:04,217
Fucking savages.
123
00:07:04,258 --> 00:07:06,594
I have zero sympathy
for that family.
124
00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:07,762
- Zero.
- Same.
125
00:07:07,804 --> 00:07:09,347
You know
what we should do, Daddy?
126
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,830
We should be all
"return to sender."
127
00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:12,975
Ship 'em right back
to crazy Aunt May-May.
128
00:07:13,059 --> 00:07:15,395
Mm-kay? Let her deal with it.
Bye-bye.
129
00:07:15,436 --> 00:07:17,730
- She can't deal.
- That's why they're here.
130
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,774
Make your cousins
feel comfortable.
131
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,276
They're family.
Spend some time with 'em.
132
00:07:22,318 --> 00:07:23,945
Gross.
133
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,696
We don't want to spend time
with them creeps.
134
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,449
- Mm-mm.
- You think I want 'em here?
135
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:30,284
I'm not asking. I'm telling.
136
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:33,204
- Shit.
- One of 'em's looking.
137
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,957
Okay, I just saw one of 'em look
138
00:07:35,998 --> 00:07:38,500
and then duck down,
Haunted Mansion style.
139
00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:41,337
Just watch.
140
00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:43,172
- See? There they are!
- Oh!
141
00:07:43,256 --> 00:07:44,549
Fucking Montgomerys.
142
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,300
We see you!
143
00:07:46,384 --> 00:07:47,677
Let 'em watch.
144
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,137
Yeah, fuck y'all.
145
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,350
Sit and spin, bitches.
146
00:07:54,434 --> 00:07:56,185
- Go home.
- Nobody likes you here.
147
00:07:56,269 --> 00:07:58,646
That's what we think
about our cousins, Daddy.
148
00:07:58,730 --> 00:08:01,691
Yeah, we don't like them.
149
00:08:10,116 --> 00:08:12,201
BJ. Is Judy here?
150
00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:14,328
No, she's out.
151
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,371
What did you need?
152
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,039
I had something for her.
153
00:08:17,123 --> 00:08:18,499
Here.
154
00:08:18,583 --> 00:08:20,460
If she wants me to explain
how to use it, I can,
155
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,836
or there's also a video included
156
00:08:21,878 --> 00:08:23,588
that can explain it as well.
157
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,798
- Is this a board game?
- We love games.
158
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,718
No, it is the opposite
of a silly game.
159
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:31,596
It's The System, my at-home
relationship counseling kit.
160
00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,389
Counseling?
161
00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:35,475
Did Judy ask for this?
162
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:39,479
- No, I was just, um...
- I was just dropping it by
163
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,813
in case she wanted
to take a look at it,
164
00:08:40,855 --> 00:08:42,564
'cause she didn't ask for it,
'cause she doesn't need it.
165
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:43,733
No one needs it.
166
00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:44,984
There are people that need it.
167
00:08:45,026 --> 00:08:48,571
But there's no specific reason
why I'm bringing it by today.
168
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,907
Well, I'll make sure
she gets it.
169
00:08:58,081 --> 00:08:59,999
The System?
170
00:09:01,876 --> 00:09:05,463
That's where they keep
the cars, right?
171
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:09,008
Think so.
172
00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:19,060
Where the fuck do those
honkies think they're going?
173
00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:22,063
Oh, wow.
174
00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:27,151
These motherfuckers.
175
00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:31,280
No way.
176
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,208
It's the Redeemer!
177
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,085
Whoo!
178
00:09:44,127 --> 00:09:46,295
I can't believe
he's still got it.
179
00:09:46,379 --> 00:09:48,089
Oh, she's beautiful.
180
00:09:48,131 --> 00:09:49,465
She's so pretty.
181
00:09:49,549 --> 00:09:51,592
Oh, I want to get
all up in there.
182
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,886
- Get in there, big brother.
- Get in there.
183
00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:55,972
- Help me.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
184
00:09:57,432 --> 00:09:59,434
Yep.
185
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:00,768
What's it like? What's it like?
186
00:10:00,852 --> 00:10:02,478
It's amazing.
187
00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:04,272
- It's fucking awesome!
- Whoo!
188
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:05,231
Oh, my God!
189
00:10:05,273 --> 00:10:06,733
Chuck, you were born
to drive that thing.
190
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:08,025
What should we smash?
191
00:10:08,109 --> 00:10:09,009
Everything!
192
00:10:13,364 --> 00:10:15,241
Yeah! Whoo!
193
00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:16,617
No, God damn it!
194
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,244
That's private property
right there.
195
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:20,538
Get your greasy, grimy
Montgomery paws off my truck!
196
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,956
Well, sorry, Jesse.
197
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:24,959
I mean, we just can't believe
you still got it.
198
00:10:25,043 --> 00:10:27,295
We remember you smashing
and crashing stuff
199
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:28,671
just like it was yesterday.
200
00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:30,631
I bet she still purrs
like a kitten.
201
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,425
Don't you talk about
that thing being a kitten!
202
00:10:32,467 --> 00:10:34,093
That's my monster truck.
203
00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:36,512
That's a five-ton
wrecking machine, son.
204
00:10:36,596 --> 00:10:37,888
Get out
before you break something.
205
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:39,640
Take it easy, Jesse.
206
00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:40,891
- Take it easy?
- Take it easy.
207
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:44,604
- Got it, Chuck?
- Take it easy, huh?
208
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,440
Truck just brings back
some fond memories.
209
00:10:47,482 --> 00:10:48,941
You ever take her out anymore?
210
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,610
Ooh, I'd love that!
211
00:10:50,651 --> 00:10:51,944
Oh, please, Jesse?
212
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:53,446
I never got a chance
to drive it.
213
00:10:53,488 --> 00:10:55,364
And you never will, numb nuts.
214
00:10:55,448 --> 00:10:56,449
Just 'cause my daddy says
215
00:10:56,491 --> 00:10:57,867
it's cool for y'all to stay here
216
00:10:57,950 --> 00:10:59,452
doesn't mean
we're gonna be cool cousins
217
00:10:59,494 --> 00:11:00,912
all now of a sudden.
218
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:04,874
We ain't cool cousins,
and we never will be again.
219
00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:07,377
You smell that?
220
00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:08,628
Yeah.
221
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,296
You boys need to go
shower off or wash.
222
00:11:10,338 --> 00:11:12,382
I smelled your balls
the second I rolled up
223
00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:13,716
in this motherfucker.
224
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,593
Stink worse
than my middle school locker.
225
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:18,679
That's my boy right there.
226
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,515
Go on and wash.
227
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,849
The little one's mean.
228
00:11:21,891 --> 00:11:23,267
Yeah, you're damn right
he's mean.
229
00:11:23,309 --> 00:11:24,769
That's my son.
230
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:25,853
I make 'em mean.
231
00:11:25,937 --> 00:11:27,605
Mean-ass Gemstones. Damn.
232
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,024
I don't know what it was like
in the little barn or manger
233
00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:32,568
or whatever the fuck you were
born in, but in this house,
234
00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:35,988
on this compound, we respect
people's private properties,
235
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:37,657
you greasy little animals.
236
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,534
"Porn equals Satan."
237
00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:41,285
I like that one.
238
00:11:41,369 --> 00:11:45,206
These protest signs are tops.
239
00:11:45,248 --> 00:11:47,458
Peeps are gonna think
twice, honestly.
240
00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:55,341
- Yo.
- Hey, bud.
241
00:11:55,383 --> 00:11:57,635
Check it out, bro.
242
00:11:57,719 --> 00:11:59,637
I wiped out
almost the entire inventory
243
00:11:59,721 --> 00:12:02,890
of bullets and butt buzzers
and basically everything else
244
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:05,101
at the adult emporium
off the highway.
245
00:12:05,184 --> 00:12:07,937
And I know you said
that it wouldn't shut 'em down,
246
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,939
but due to supply chain issues,
247
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:13,234
they won't be able to restock
for a while.
248
00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:15,778
Smart! Yes.
249
00:12:15,862 --> 00:12:19,073
Dang, I am missing out
on all the fun lately.
250
00:12:19,115 --> 00:12:20,867
My cousins are in town.
251
00:12:20,908 --> 00:12:23,119
Daddy's making me
hang out with them.
252
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:25,955
Now I've got to go
to some stupid cousins' night.
253
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:29,250
- Cousins' night.
- Very interesting.
254
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:32,336
- No, it's not.
- They are total weirdos.
255
00:12:32,378 --> 00:12:34,589
A complete lack of knowing
256
00:12:34,630 --> 00:12:36,007
how to fit
in the world around them.
257
00:12:36,049 --> 00:12:38,926
God, they sound awkward.
258
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:40,887
Shall I make my sausage dip?
259
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,765
Those inbreds aren't worthy
of your sausage dip.
260
00:12:45,183 --> 00:12:46,893
But, yeah, no,
you should make it.
261
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,269
I'll put it
in a special container
262
00:12:48,311 --> 00:12:50,563
that'll keep it warm,
and you can carry it with you
263
00:12:50,605 --> 00:12:52,273
to the family event.
264
00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:55,818
Why don't you carry it with?
265
00:12:55,902 --> 00:12:57,653
Keefe, you have to come
to cousins' night.
266
00:12:57,737 --> 00:12:59,447
Come on, come to cousins' night.
267
00:13:00,990 --> 00:13:02,533
I ain't a cousin, though.
268
00:13:02,617 --> 00:13:03,910
I know you're not a cousin.
269
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:07,330
You're my... best dude friend
270
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:10,124
of a cousin.
271
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:13,127
Wow, never done
a cousins' night before.
272
00:13:13,211 --> 00:13:16,255
Maybe I'll bring some flames
and the swords.
273
00:13:16,297 --> 00:13:18,841
Yeah, totes, you should.
274
00:13:18,925 --> 00:13:22,095
But let's keep
our expects in checks.
275
00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:24,889
My cousins are
kind of diarrhea people.
276
00:13:29,227 --> 00:13:31,729
There is nothing
that we take more seriously
277
00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:32,980
than our marriage.
278
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:34,899
That's why I created The System,
279
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,484
a program that you can use
at home
280
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:39,362
to help your marriage
better honor Jesus Christ.
281
00:13:39,445 --> 00:13:42,490
Now, when I want to say
something or do something
282
00:13:42,532 --> 00:13:45,159
that would reflect poorly
in the eyes of our Lord,
283
00:13:45,243 --> 00:13:47,495
I take one of these gemstones
284
00:13:47,537 --> 00:13:51,374
and I'll plop it
into this vase container.
285
00:13:51,457 --> 00:13:53,251
Now I know that Jesse is trying.
286
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,627
He almost said
something hurtful,
287
00:13:54,669 --> 00:13:57,672
but instead, he let
the gemstone do the talking.
288
00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:58,923
I love my wife.
289
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,342
It's so simple. It works.
290
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:04,011
Creating The System was
a work of passion for me.
291
00:14:04,095 --> 00:14:05,847
What the fuck
are you watching in here?
292
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:06,848
Horror movies?
293
00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:08,850
No, The System.
294
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,226
Amber dropped it off.
295
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:13,020
I guess it's something
she and Jesse made and sell.
296
00:14:13,062 --> 00:14:14,856
Good luck.
297
00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:17,358
Couples therapy of some sort.
298
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,277
- And trust me...
- Couples therapy?
299
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,820
My wife spent a lot of time...
300
00:14:20,862 --> 00:14:22,238
No.
301
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,574
More time than I would have
liked her to...
302
00:14:24,657 --> 00:14:26,242
Bitch.
303
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:27,535
Yeah, at first, I was like,
304
00:14:27,577 --> 00:14:29,412
"Wait, Amber, do you know
something I don't?
305
00:14:29,495 --> 00:14:30,872
Why do you think
we need The System?"
306
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:31,748
Exactly.
307
00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:35,293
This was, like,
very fucking dumb of her.
308
00:14:35,376 --> 00:14:36,627
Bitch is trying to fuck with me.
309
00:14:36,669 --> 00:14:37,712
Well, how so?
310
00:14:37,754 --> 00:14:40,381
By pulling, like,
junior high mean girl shit, BJ.
311
00:14:40,465 --> 00:14:42,258
Don't touch anything else
in there, okay?
312
00:14:42,341 --> 00:14:44,385
All this stuff's poison.
It's going back.
313
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,054
Well, I don't think
we should be rude.
314
00:14:46,095 --> 00:14:50,725
- BJ, our marriage is solid.
- Okay?
315
00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:53,061
There's... there's nothing
to work on here.
316
00:14:53,102 --> 00:14:56,814
So fuck The System, okay?
317
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,526
And fuck Amber too!
318
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,493
Now, every episode
starts out the same.
319
00:15:08,576 --> 00:15:12,538
Old Baby Billy,
he comes out like that.
320
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,082
I make me some jokes.
321
00:15:14,165 --> 00:15:16,501
Current events. Hot styles.
Nothing edgy.
322
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:19,337
We're gonna keep it light
so we don't limit our audience.
323
00:15:19,420 --> 00:15:22,965
And then
I introduce two families.
324
00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:25,259
I banter with them,
I do some chit-chat,
325
00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:27,095
maybe I kiss 'em on the cheek.
326
00:15:27,136 --> 00:15:29,680
And then one by one,
they compete,
327
00:15:29,764 --> 00:15:32,642
doing trivias from the Bible.
328
00:15:32,725 --> 00:15:33,935
Bible.
329
00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:35,478
Sorry, buddy.
330
00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:38,398
Hey, buddy.
331
00:15:38,439 --> 00:15:39,565
This right here.
332
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:41,776
Uncle Baby Billy, isn't this
just exactly the pitch
333
00:15:41,818 --> 00:15:42,902
for "Family Feuds"?
334
00:15:42,944 --> 00:15:44,404
Yeah, did you run this
past Daddy?
335
00:15:44,445 --> 00:15:46,239
Why I got to run this by Eli?
336
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,366
Everybody knows
y'all running shit,
337
00:15:48,449 --> 00:15:49,909
unless you ain't got
purchase power
338
00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:51,160
or you can't pull the trigger.
339
00:15:51,202 --> 00:15:52,245
No, no, we got purchase power.
340
00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:53,329
We can pull triggers, homie.
341
00:15:53,371 --> 00:15:55,289
Then I suggest
you pull the trigger
342
00:15:55,331 --> 00:15:57,166
on this here hit TV series.
343
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:58,918
Go on, take it off the market.
344
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:00,753
It's exactly "Family Feuds."
345
00:16:00,795 --> 00:16:02,130
It ain't no "Family Feud."
346
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:04,590
This is "Baby Billy's
Bible Bonkers."
347
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,050
"Bible Bonkers"?
348
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:07,719
"Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers."
349
00:16:07,802 --> 00:16:09,637
- "Baby Billy's Bible Bonkers."
- "Baby Billy's Bible"...
350
00:16:09,679 --> 00:16:11,097
- Bible Bonkers.
- Bible...
351
00:16:11,139 --> 00:16:12,848
- Bunker Baby's...
- Baby Billy Bible Bonkers.
352
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,142
Yeah, roll that around
in your mouth.
353
00:16:14,183 --> 00:16:15,435
- That's fun, ain't it?
- You know what?
354
00:16:15,476 --> 00:16:17,311
I already know
how I'm gonna vote on this
355
00:16:17,353 --> 00:16:18,688
if we just want to end
this meeting early.
356
00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:21,190
Plus, I got some stuff that
I got to hash out with Jesse.
357
00:16:21,274 --> 00:16:22,442
The hell you got
to hash out with me?
358
00:16:22,483 --> 00:16:24,318
What I got to hash out with you
359
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,654
is you tattling on me
to your damn Fembot.
360
00:16:26,696 --> 00:16:28,656
- Oh, come on.
- You're mad 'cause I told Amber
361
00:16:28,698 --> 00:16:30,992
that you're having an affair
with a man named Stephen?
362
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,160
Affair?
363
00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:33,327
- Stephen?
- Who the fuck is Stephen?
364
00:16:33,369 --> 00:16:35,121
Now you done told
two more people.
365
00:16:35,163 --> 00:16:36,831
Jesse, fuck me, man!
366
00:16:36,873 --> 00:16:38,166
He told three.
367
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,043
Lionel's here too now.
He heard it.
368
00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:42,462
Look, can we please just
concentrate on my pitch?
369
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:43,671
Come on, now.
370
00:16:43,755 --> 00:16:46,883
I think my executive vote
is no on "Bible Bonkers."
371
00:16:46,966 --> 00:16:48,134
I don't like it.
372
00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:49,802
Well, that's one thing
I can agree with you on,
373
00:16:49,844 --> 00:16:50,764
you fucking tattletale.
374
00:16:50,845 --> 00:16:53,347
What, you really gonna say no
to this concept?
375
00:16:53,389 --> 00:16:54,640
- Not today, Double B.
- Nah, dog, this ain't it.
376
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,309
- Not on our network.
- This is not the kind of stuff
377
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,811
- we put on our network.
- Mm-mm.
378
00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:00,521
Y'all can't even see solid gold
379
00:17:00,605 --> 00:17:02,023
when I'm shitting it
right in front of you.
380
00:17:02,065 --> 00:17:03,900
Y'all just piss me off.
381
00:17:03,983 --> 00:17:06,194
No wonder
your fucking numbers are down.
382
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:09,280
You think you can ship me off
to paradise,
383
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:12,533
make me sing by a pool
all motherfucking day,
384
00:17:12,617 --> 00:17:15,160
getting a suntan,
drinking piƱa coladas for free,
385
00:17:15,203 --> 00:17:16,496
living in a penthouse?
386
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,247
Huh? No.
387
00:17:18,331 --> 00:17:20,208
I'm a international-known
talent.
388
00:17:20,291 --> 00:17:22,794
I deserve more than that.
389
00:17:22,877 --> 00:17:25,755
You haven't seen the last of me.
390
00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:26,671
I mean, you're our uncle.
391
00:17:26,714 --> 00:17:28,257
I'm assuming we're gonna
hear from you again.
392
00:17:28,299 --> 00:17:30,718
You damn right you will.
393
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,098
Let's go. Come on, Tiff.
394
00:17:35,181 --> 00:17:36,391
Okay.
395
00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:39,560
I'm just gonna leave this here
for y'all to study.
396
00:17:39,602 --> 00:17:40,978
- You could take all this.
- Take all that shit.
397
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:42,814
We don't want it.
398
00:17:42,897 --> 00:17:44,941
Uh, you left your kid here.
399
00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:47,360
Oh! I'm sorry, baby.
400
00:17:49,112 --> 00:17:51,656
Bye, y'all. That was fun.
401
00:17:51,739 --> 00:17:53,199
- Love you, Aunt Tiffany.
- Love you, baby.
402
00:17:53,241 --> 00:17:55,284
- Bye.
- Bye.
403
00:17:55,368 --> 00:17:58,830
"Your people shall be my people.
404
00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:02,750
"And your God, my God.
405
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:07,422
"And where you die, I will die,
and there will I be buried.
406
00:18:07,505 --> 00:18:10,425
"And may the Lord do so to me,
and more also,
407
00:18:10,508 --> 00:18:14,554
if anything but death
parts me from you."
408
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:17,598
This week, let's think of Ruth,
409
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,435
think of the commitment
that we have made
410
00:18:20,476 --> 00:18:22,770
to the people that we love.
411
00:18:22,812 --> 00:18:25,565
Until next time, praise He.
412
00:18:25,606 --> 00:18:27,150
Praise He.
413
00:18:30,278 --> 00:18:31,738
Thank you.
414
00:18:43,124 --> 00:18:44,625
Hey, ladies. Thank you.
415
00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:47,754
Excuse me.
416
00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:50,214
Sorry to interrupt your
zombie bitches prayer group,
417
00:18:50,298 --> 00:18:52,800
but I brought something
for your nosy ass.
418
00:18:55,344 --> 00:18:57,138
Oh, my word.
419
00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:59,182
Yeah, my word.
420
00:18:59,265 --> 00:19:01,059
Are you fucking dumb?
421
00:19:01,142 --> 00:19:03,061
Bringing a dang
marriage counseling thing
422
00:19:03,144 --> 00:19:04,395
to my fucking house?
423
00:19:04,479 --> 00:19:07,065
I don't know what you think
Jesse told you,
424
00:19:07,148 --> 00:19:10,026
but my conscience is clean,
chick.
425
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:11,986
This church needs a win, Judy.
426
00:19:12,028 --> 00:19:13,154
The decline is real.
427
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:14,614
We need people to show up.
428
00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:16,783
We need people to believe in us.
429
00:19:16,824 --> 00:19:18,659
We do not need a scandal.
430
00:19:18,743 --> 00:19:21,120
- End the affair.
- Dummy, I did end it.
431
00:19:21,162 --> 00:19:22,288
You did?
432
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:25,291
Yes, told him to fuck off.
433
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:26,918
I love BJ, okay?
434
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:28,211
I gave him some money.
435
00:19:28,294 --> 00:19:29,629
Hopefully
that'll make it kosher.
436
00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:30,838
Well, good.
437
00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:32,048
Then that's that.
438
00:19:32,131 --> 00:19:33,758
That is that,
so you don't ever need
439
00:19:33,841 --> 00:19:35,051
to worry about it again.
440
00:19:35,134 --> 00:19:37,095
- Fuck off, Amber.
- Fine.
441
00:19:37,178 --> 00:19:39,972
Fine.
442
00:19:40,014 --> 00:19:41,099
Coming to cousins' night?
443
00:19:41,182 --> 00:19:43,476
Duh. Daddy's making me.
444
00:19:48,022 --> 00:19:49,399
Oh.
445
00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:51,317
You boys got any plans tonight?
446
00:19:51,359 --> 00:19:54,320
Yeah, the cousins invited us
out for a cousins' night.
447
00:19:54,362 --> 00:19:56,155
A cousins' night?
448
00:19:56,197 --> 00:19:57,490
Imagine that.
449
00:19:57,532 --> 00:19:58,991
I'm surprised they want to hang
450
00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,368
the way they've been acting.
451
00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:01,911
They don't seem to care
for us at all.
452
00:20:01,994 --> 00:20:04,956
Well, they invited y'all
on a cousins' night.
453
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:06,207
Maybe they're trying.
454
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,542
You know, we really appreciate
455
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,711
you letting us stay here,
Uncle Eli.
456
00:20:09,752 --> 00:20:12,296
I don't know where we'd go
if it weren't for here.
457
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:14,757
You could go live
with your mama.
458
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:18,261
I know she ain't perfect,
but she does love you boys.
459
00:20:18,344 --> 00:20:20,221
Go live with Mama?
460
00:20:20,304 --> 00:20:21,347
I don't think there's room
461
00:20:21,389 --> 00:20:23,224
in that utility closet
where she sleeps.
462
00:20:23,307 --> 00:20:25,393
Utility closet?
463
00:20:25,476 --> 00:20:27,895
Mama sleeps at the church.
464
00:20:40,950 --> 00:20:42,326
That's not hygienic.
465
00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:44,245
There's, like, dead birds
probably in there.
466
00:20:51,586 --> 00:20:53,254
You guys! Oh, nasty!
467
00:20:53,296 --> 00:20:55,465
Don't... hey!
Don't drink that water, man.
468
00:20:55,548 --> 00:20:56,758
That pond is filthy.
469
00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:59,886
Hey, dummies,
that's a trout pond.
470
00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:02,180
Nothing but stink slicks
and dead trout.
471
00:21:02,263 --> 00:21:04,432
- The water's great!
- Yeah!
472
00:21:04,515 --> 00:21:05,725
It's nice and crisp.
473
00:21:05,767 --> 00:21:06,934
Come on in!
474
00:21:06,976 --> 00:21:08,477
I feel like I'm up
in the zoo right now
475
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:10,229
watching the gorillas
get washed.
476
00:21:10,313 --> 00:21:12,273
About to start throwing
their poo at each other.
477
00:21:12,356 --> 00:21:14,233
Oh, holy smokes.
478
00:21:14,275 --> 00:21:16,069
What's Karl got cooking
under his trunks?
479
00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,112
He's got tons of hairs.
480
00:21:18,154 --> 00:21:19,530
Looks like he got a chinchilla
481
00:21:19,614 --> 00:21:21,032
stuffed up in there.
482
00:21:21,115 --> 00:21:23,659
Y'all, look, that's your
family out there, okay?
483
00:21:23,743 --> 00:21:25,078
Why don't you stop
making fun of them
484
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:26,454
and go converse with them?
485
00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:28,456
I don't know what to say
to them weirdos.
486
00:21:28,539 --> 00:21:30,583
Why don't you go
converse with them?
487
00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:32,293
Yeah, go hug them
while they're wet.
488
00:21:35,254 --> 00:21:37,298
Well, well.
489
00:21:37,340 --> 00:21:38,966
Looks like everybody's
getting loose.
490
00:21:39,008 --> 00:21:41,344
How come you not gon' tell us
about cousins' night?
491
00:21:41,427 --> 00:21:42,762
Well, because y'all
aren't invited.
492
00:21:42,804 --> 00:21:44,180
What the fuck are
you doing here?
493
00:21:44,263 --> 00:21:46,516
Lionel's your cousin, dummy.
494
00:21:46,599 --> 00:21:48,184
How you not gonna invite
your first cousin
495
00:21:48,226 --> 00:21:49,435
to cousins' night, huh?
496
00:21:49,477 --> 00:21:51,896
Cousins' night is about
adult cousins, dog.
497
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:54,774
- Ain't no babies.
- Hey, Lionel's your cousin,
498
00:21:54,816 --> 00:21:56,984
and you will damn well
treat him like one.
499
00:21:57,068 --> 00:21:59,904
I will not have baby Lionel
miss out on proper cousinship
500
00:21:59,987 --> 00:22:01,447
just 'cause he's young.
501
00:22:01,489 --> 00:22:03,241
Now, we gon' do
cousins' night now.
502
00:22:03,324 --> 00:22:04,826
Baby Lionel's eating dirt.
503
00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:07,995
Huh?
504
00:22:08,037 --> 00:22:10,623
Somebody's not gonna have
any room left for barbecue.
505
00:23:23,946 --> 00:23:27,325
Don't you have
any help for that?
506
00:23:27,408 --> 00:23:29,285
I don't rely on others.
507
00:23:29,368 --> 00:23:30,870
I do things for myself.
508
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:46,677
Where do you live, May-May?
509
00:23:46,761 --> 00:23:49,764
Oh, the Lord takes care of me.
510
00:23:52,433 --> 00:23:55,436
Do you live here?
511
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,063
I can't have you live like this.
512
00:23:57,105 --> 00:23:59,524
Oh, what, are you afraid
of what the world will say
513
00:23:59,607 --> 00:24:01,901
if they found out Eli Gemstone
lets his sister
514
00:24:01,943 --> 00:24:04,445
live in squalor?
515
00:24:04,487 --> 00:24:05,738
You never lifted a finger
to help me.
516
00:24:05,780 --> 00:24:07,281
I ain't asking for it now.
517
00:24:07,323 --> 00:24:09,450
Come stay.
518
00:24:09,534 --> 00:24:11,828
You should be with your boys.
519
00:24:11,911 --> 00:24:14,622
Take a lot more than just time
to heal those wounds.
520
00:24:17,083 --> 00:24:19,377
I'm surprised
you care about that.
521
00:24:19,460 --> 00:24:22,255
Surprised I do too.
522
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:25,800
You remember what we practiced?
523
00:24:25,842 --> 00:24:29,178
- Most of the parts.
- Then let's go bonkers.
524
00:24:31,806 --> 00:24:34,642
So Judy tells me
your lives might be in danger.
525
00:24:34,684 --> 00:24:36,811
- That's horrifying.
- BJ!
526
00:24:36,853 --> 00:24:38,855
Don't be acting like
I'm spilling beans.
527
00:24:38,938 --> 00:24:40,356
Well, I'm sorry
if I'm not supposed to know
528
00:24:40,398 --> 00:24:41,816
y'all are wanted dead.
529
00:24:41,899 --> 00:24:44,736
Judy and I share everything
with each other.
530
00:24:46,863 --> 00:24:48,990
Welcome to cousins' night!
531
00:24:49,073 --> 00:24:52,326
Now, tonight, you gon' get
a special treat
532
00:24:52,368 --> 00:24:54,537
for cousins' night,
because tonight,
533
00:24:54,620 --> 00:24:56,914
we are gonna do a live test run
534
00:24:56,998 --> 00:24:59,834
of "Baby Billy's
Bible Bonkers."
535
00:24:59,876 --> 00:25:01,878
- No, we ain't.
- What the fuck is this?
536
00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:04,672
No, Baby Billy, we ain't
doing this Bonkers bullshit.
537
00:25:04,714 --> 00:25:06,758
Come on, now, go with it.
538
00:25:06,841 --> 00:25:08,676
Now, you don't think this is
a good idea for a show.
539
00:25:08,718 --> 00:25:10,303
Well, you 'bout to see
right here,
540
00:25:10,344 --> 00:25:11,971
'cause tonight's show, you in.
541
00:25:12,013 --> 00:25:15,141
Now let's welcome
the Gemstone family
542
00:25:15,183 --> 00:25:17,518
versus the Montgomerys.
543
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:18,978
Is this gonna be for the TV?
544
00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:20,772
Well, if it's good,
it will be, yes.
545
00:25:20,855 --> 00:25:22,815
- Yeah. Let's, uh...
- It's not.
546
00:25:22,857 --> 00:25:25,693
- Here we go. Come here.
- Uh, you are?
547
00:25:25,777 --> 00:25:28,279
- Karl.
- Karl Montgomery.
548
00:25:28,362 --> 00:25:30,198
And... and what... what do you do?
549
00:25:30,239 --> 00:25:32,658
- Lawn care.
- Who-what?
550
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:34,452
- Uh...
- Landscaping.
551
00:25:34,535 --> 00:25:35,828
- Oh, you mow grass.
- All right.
552
00:25:35,870 --> 00:25:37,371
- Yeah.
- Good. Yeah.
553
00:25:37,455 --> 00:25:39,499
Who are you and what do you do?
554
00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,043
- Chuck.
- I just work with my brother.
555
00:25:42,126 --> 00:25:44,045
All right. Uh-uh.
556
00:25:44,087 --> 00:25:48,007
Now we coming to the Gemstone
side of the table.
557
00:25:48,049 --> 00:25:51,177
Okay, little weirdo boy
with the puffy muscles,
558
00:25:51,219 --> 00:25:52,887
who are you?
559
00:25:52,970 --> 00:25:54,972
- I'm Kelvin.
- We're not doing this, dude.
560
00:25:55,056 --> 00:25:57,308
Your shit sucks, Baby Billy.
561
00:25:57,392 --> 00:25:59,310
Hey, now, don't use
that kind of language, Judy.
562
00:25:59,352 --> 00:26:02,021
This a family show, now.
563
00:26:02,063 --> 00:26:03,064
You ain't family.
564
00:26:03,106 --> 00:26:04,232
So what do you do?
565
00:26:04,273 --> 00:26:07,235
I run
the motherfucking church, stud.
566
00:26:07,276 --> 00:26:09,654
Running the church
and running around.
567
00:26:09,737 --> 00:26:12,990
Ooh!
568
00:26:13,074 --> 00:26:14,742
Ooh!
569
00:26:14,784 --> 00:26:16,619
Uh, who are you?
570
00:26:16,702 --> 00:26:18,287
Look, when we're done
with these introductions,
571
00:26:18,329 --> 00:26:19,747
can we just kill it, all right?
572
00:26:19,831 --> 00:26:21,416
This isn't really
an appropriate time to be
573
00:26:21,457 --> 00:26:23,418
doing the damn holy moly show
or whatever this is.
574
00:26:23,459 --> 00:26:25,086
Hey, this ain't
no holy moly show.
575
00:26:25,128 --> 00:26:27,088
This is "Baby Billy's
Bible Bonkers."
576
00:26:27,130 --> 00:26:29,465
The two first-born
from each family,
577
00:26:29,549 --> 00:26:30,800
y'all come up here
in the middle.
578
00:26:30,842 --> 00:26:32,593
Come on, come up here
in the middle.
579
00:26:32,677 --> 00:26:33,844
Come on, Jesse, let's go.
You can count.
580
00:26:33,886 --> 00:26:35,680
- Baby, just go.
- Shut him up.
581
00:26:35,763 --> 00:26:37,098
- Get him, big brother.
- Let's go.
582
00:26:37,140 --> 00:26:38,558
Be a good sport.
583
00:26:38,599 --> 00:26:39,851
- Come on, baby.
- It's so lame.
584
00:26:39,934 --> 00:26:41,394
- All right, let's go.
- Right up here. Come on.
585
00:26:41,436 --> 00:26:42,562
Look, if I get
the answers wrong,
586
00:26:42,603 --> 00:26:43,979
it doesn't matter
because this isn't
587
00:26:44,021 --> 00:26:45,356
fucking real to begin with,
okay?
588
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,775
Just get up there and beat
his fucking ass, Jesse.
589
00:26:47,817 --> 00:26:48,735
Let's go, Jesse.
590
00:26:48,776 --> 00:26:50,611
You got this.
591
00:26:50,653 --> 00:26:52,488
Hit it, Tiff.
592
00:27:14,093 --> 00:27:16,012
Great job, Tiff. All right.
First question. Here we go now.
593
00:27:16,054 --> 00:27:17,513
- How do we buzz in?
- Hey.
594
00:27:17,597 --> 00:27:19,056
Yeah, these buzzers
aren't even real.
595
00:27:19,098 --> 00:27:20,767
I mean, this is stupid.
What the hell are we doing?
596
00:27:20,808 --> 00:27:22,435
Don't be saying,
"What are we doing?"
597
00:27:22,477 --> 00:27:24,854
Just buzz in
with your fucking mouth.
598
00:27:24,937 --> 00:27:27,356
I'm sorry, there will be
no cursing on this program.
599
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:28,900
First question, now.
600
00:27:28,983 --> 00:27:33,279
Who got Joseph thrown
into prison by lying about him?
601
00:27:33,321 --> 00:27:35,448
Potiphar's wife!
602
00:27:35,490 --> 00:27:36,991
Potiphar's wife is correct.
603
00:27:37,033 --> 00:27:39,368
Damn, we got to do a tiebreaker.
604
00:27:39,452 --> 00:27:40,870
Second question.
605
00:27:40,953 --> 00:27:44,707
Who else was in prison
with Joseph?
606
00:27:46,334 --> 00:27:49,379
The Pharaoh's cupbearer
and his... butler.
607
00:27:49,462 --> 00:27:50,963
- Wrong!
- Mm-mm.
608
00:27:51,005 --> 00:27:52,715
Montgomery's chance to steal.
609
00:27:52,799 --> 00:27:54,717
- Fuck.
- That was an easy one, Jesse.
610
00:27:54,801 --> 00:27:55,843
Damn it.
611
00:27:55,885 --> 00:27:58,513
Pharaoh's cupbearer
and chief baker.
612
00:27:58,596 --> 00:28:00,014
Correct.
613
00:28:00,098 --> 00:28:01,557
- Montgomerys have the lead.
- Whoo!
614
00:28:01,641 --> 00:28:02,850
No, they don't have the lead.
615
00:28:02,892 --> 00:28:04,310
Don't cheat, Jesse.
616
00:28:04,352 --> 00:28:06,479
I know that must be tough
for you Gemstones.
617
00:28:06,521 --> 00:28:08,189
- I'm not!
- You know what?
618
00:28:08,231 --> 00:28:09,649
The Montgomerys
don't have the lead.
619
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:11,275
I'm not playing
this game anymore.
620
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,528
I don't like fucking
Bible Bunkers Babies!
621
00:28:13,569 --> 00:28:14,779
I'm not doing this!
622
00:28:14,862 --> 00:28:17,031
Game over. Shut it down.
623
00:28:17,073 --> 00:28:20,076
You still the same old
spoiled, sore sport
624
00:28:20,159 --> 00:28:21,828
you were when we were kids.
625
00:28:21,869 --> 00:28:23,496
Hey, can you do me
a favor, Chuck?
626
00:28:23,538 --> 00:28:24,872
Why don't you go
fuck yourself, okay,
627
00:28:24,914 --> 00:28:27,375
and then go find a family
that actually cares about you,
628
00:28:27,417 --> 00:28:28,710
you fucking Montgomery.
629
00:28:29,836 --> 00:28:33,172
Well, I'd rather be
a Montgomery than a Gemstone.
630
00:28:33,214 --> 00:28:34,882
I thought it was just
your mommy and daddy
631
00:28:34,924 --> 00:28:36,967
that didn't care about others,
but the nuts don't fall
632
00:28:37,009 --> 00:28:38,428
too far from the tree.
633
00:28:38,511 --> 00:28:41,514
Hey, yo, you'd better watch
what you say about our mama.
634
00:28:41,556 --> 00:28:43,266
Take a seat, Judy Gemstone.
635
00:28:43,349 --> 00:28:45,267
The menfolk are talking,
and those kind of chime-ins
636
00:28:45,309 --> 00:28:46,561
are not appropriate.
637
00:28:46,644 --> 00:28:48,688
Judy,
keep your earrings on, girl.
638
00:28:48,730 --> 00:28:50,440
Why is she taking
them earrings off?
639
00:28:50,523 --> 00:28:51,899
'Cause we finna fight, boy.
640
00:28:51,983 --> 00:28:53,609
Please, Judy, no, don't fight.
641
00:28:53,693 --> 00:28:55,403
No, there ain't gonna be
no fight.
642
00:28:55,445 --> 00:28:57,280
There's just gonna be a 187.
643
00:28:57,363 --> 00:29:00,533
I'll cut you from fucking stem
to sternum, you bitch.
644
00:29:00,575 --> 00:29:01,826
- Oh.
- Come on, I'll kill you.
645
00:29:01,909 --> 00:29:03,786
- Stick him, Jesse.
- I got a knife too.
646
00:29:03,870 --> 00:29:06,372
- Oh, my Lord.
- Y'all play too much now.
647
00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:10,084
Jesse Gemstone,
you put that knife away.
648
00:29:10,168 --> 00:29:12,044
I'll put my knife away
when he puts his knife away.
649
00:29:12,086 --> 00:29:13,421
Well, I ain't putting
my knife away
650
00:29:13,463 --> 00:29:14,714
unless he puts his knife away.
651
00:29:14,756 --> 00:29:15,715
Well, then I guess we're keeping
652
00:29:15,757 --> 00:29:18,718
the fucking knives out!
653
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,011
You just gonna circle
each other,
654
00:29:20,053 --> 00:29:21,596
or someone's gonna do
a stabbing?
655
00:29:21,679 --> 00:29:22,930
Get your... bitch.
656
00:29:22,972 --> 00:29:24,182
You big bitch.
657
00:29:24,265 --> 00:29:27,185
- Oh, my God.
- Guys, he's choking.
658
00:29:27,226 --> 00:29:28,603
No, not him. Him!
659
00:29:30,563 --> 00:29:31,939
- Karl?
- Oh.
660
00:29:32,023 --> 00:29:33,775
- Karl?
- Spit it out.
661
00:29:33,816 --> 00:29:35,443
Come on, Karl. Come on.
662
00:29:35,526 --> 00:29:36,652
Spit it out, Karl!
663
00:29:36,736 --> 00:29:37,779
- Spit it out!
- Hit him!
664
00:29:37,820 --> 00:29:38,821
Hit him harder!
665
00:29:38,905 --> 00:29:40,323
Karl, come on, Karl!
666
00:29:40,406 --> 00:29:42,784
- Heimlich his ass!
- Lick his what?
667
00:29:42,825 --> 00:29:44,452
Hurry up! He can't breathe!
668
00:29:44,494 --> 00:29:46,079
- Guys, he don't look so good.
- Oh, my God.
669
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:47,413
I can't get my arms around him.
670
00:29:47,455 --> 00:29:48,289
He's too big.
671
00:29:48,331 --> 00:29:49,749
Jesse, bend him over the table!
672
00:29:49,791 --> 00:29:51,334
Oh!
673
00:29:51,417 --> 00:29:53,878
- Karl, don't die!
- Get him! Ram him!
674
00:29:53,961 --> 00:29:56,255
- Ah!
- Yes!
675
00:29:56,297 --> 00:29:58,549
Come on, he's gonna die!
676
00:29:58,633 --> 00:29:59,967
He can't breathe!
677
00:30:00,009 --> 00:30:01,218
We got to do it
at the same time!
678
00:30:01,260 --> 00:30:02,762
- Okay!
- On... on... on three!
679
00:30:02,804 --> 00:30:05,306
Three, two, one!
680
00:30:08,351 --> 00:30:09,477
- Karl?
- BJ.
681
00:30:09,519 --> 00:30:11,604
Karl?
682
00:30:11,646 --> 00:30:13,856
Oh!
683
00:30:13,940 --> 00:30:16,859
- Are you okay?
- Uh...
684
00:30:16,943 --> 00:30:18,903
Chuck, I was so scared.
685
00:30:18,986 --> 00:30:20,571
I couldn't breathe.
686
00:30:20,613 --> 00:30:22,240
That's why we're always saying,
687
00:30:22,281 --> 00:30:23,449
"Chew your food."
688
00:30:23,491 --> 00:30:25,576
- I'm sorry, Chucky.
- It's okay, buddy.
689
00:30:25,618 --> 00:30:27,328
- I'm sorry.
- I won't do it again.
690
00:30:27,370 --> 00:30:28,663
You're okay now.
691
00:30:48,182 --> 00:30:49,016
Hey!
692
00:30:49,058 --> 00:30:51,519
- Cousins.
- Hey.
693
00:30:51,602 --> 00:30:53,104
Hey.
694
00:30:53,187 --> 00:30:56,274
It was nice hanging out
with y'all tonight, cousins.
695
00:30:56,357 --> 00:30:59,402
And... and no one thinks
less of you because you choked,
696
00:30:59,485 --> 00:31:00,695
Big Karl.
697
00:31:00,778 --> 00:31:02,196
- Thanks, guys.
- Where y'all going?
698
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,781
Just walking back
to our daddy's?
699
00:31:03,865 --> 00:31:05,867
We ain't got nowhere else to go.
700
00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:08,286
Well, let me give you a ride.
701
00:31:10,663 --> 00:31:12,373
Okay.
702
00:31:12,457 --> 00:31:14,459
Cool.
703
00:31:17,086 --> 00:31:20,256
I think it's a great idea
even if nobody else does.
704
00:31:20,339 --> 00:31:24,093
Oh, I appreciate
the support, baby.
705
00:31:24,177 --> 00:31:26,137
But they gon' buy
"Bible Bonkers" now.
706
00:31:26,220 --> 00:31:29,223
There will come a payday.
707
00:31:29,265 --> 00:31:31,893
Lionel's asleep in the back.
708
00:31:31,976 --> 00:31:34,395
You think maybe
I can get some ass?
709
00:31:36,064 --> 00:31:38,232
There's a road right up here.
710
00:31:38,274 --> 00:31:41,319
Can we get some waffles
after we get some ass?
711
00:31:41,402 --> 00:31:43,488
You bet we can.
712
00:31:46,741 --> 00:31:49,160
I smelled the meat
that came out of your cousin.
713
00:31:49,243 --> 00:31:51,037
It wasn't the sausage dip
that choked him.
714
00:31:51,079 --> 00:31:53,498
It... it was poultry.
715
00:31:53,581 --> 00:31:55,124
Gross, Keefe.
716
00:31:55,208 --> 00:31:58,961
And no, I didn't think
it was your sausage dip.
717
00:31:59,045 --> 00:32:02,048
That stuff's too good.
718
00:32:02,090 --> 00:32:05,259
And your fire dance was lit.
719
00:32:05,301 --> 00:32:07,678
Easily the best part
of 'tis eve.
720
00:32:10,098 --> 00:32:12,600
You never disappoint.
721
00:32:12,642 --> 00:32:14,268
Good eye tonight, Beej.
722
00:32:14,352 --> 00:32:17,688
Helped save cousin Karl's life,
you dang hero.
723
00:32:17,772 --> 00:32:19,107
I'm not a hero.
724
00:32:19,148 --> 00:32:20,775
I'm an optometrist.
725
00:32:20,817 --> 00:32:22,360
We see everything.
726
00:32:22,443 --> 00:32:24,862
Okay.
727
00:32:24,946 --> 00:32:26,948
- Come here.
- Oh.
728
00:32:35,665 --> 00:32:38,251
Oh, this feels so good.
729
00:32:58,062 --> 00:32:59,397
Yeah, get that spot over there.
730
00:32:59,480 --> 00:33:01,107
Yes, ma'am
51822
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