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Whoa!

- Keep it level. - Trying.

Holy shit, it's the factory.

- Steady! - Whoa, whoa!

Hold on to something!

- You okay? - Will you get off of me

already, you big idiot?

All right, I'm trying.

We're here.

Here, come this way.

Thought time travel would take a lot longer.

That was, what, like, a minute? Less?

- Come on, come on, come on. - Okay.

I don't remember it being that fast last time.

It was. And you were unconscious.

Come on.

Come on.

Yeah.

We made it, Mac.

Wonderful.

Well, landing could use a little work,

but, uh, guess you can teach a stubborn old dog

some new tricks.

Thank you.

Go home.

Come on. Go.

Now if only Debbie Gibson would come back to the mall.

Fuck off.

We're just in time for the ultimate mission.

And actually, according to my temporal map,

we should have just over an hour

to intercept Heck and Naldo on Maple.

What's going on? Are we off target?

Because, I mean, we can always find our way back with the map.

I don't want to look at your stupid map, okay?

Goddamn.

But the map will help us get to where we need to be.

- Yeah. - Is everything okay here?

Yeah, everything's fine.

Okay.

Well, you seem, uh, agitated.

I'm not agitated.

I think maybe we landed in the wrong...

Can everyone just, please, just-just...

- Uh... - Hey, Larry?

What's going on?

- Hmm? - I...

Uh...

Guys.

What in the fucking fuck is that?

Is that who we're waiting for?

We're too late.

I'm so sorry.

Run. Run!

- Jesus Christ, what did you do? - Run!

Come on. Go, go, go. Run.

- Come on. - Go.

Go to the trailer!

Come on! Come on! Get into the trailer! Come on!

This is for Juniper, you son of a bitch!

No! No! No! No!

Larry!

Keep your heads down. Keep your heads down.

- Please get us out of here. - We're gonna die.

- No one is going to die, okay? - What are we gonna do?

Okay, so...

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Hey. Hey.

Listen to me. This is what we know how to do.

We take care of people. Okay?

And you're gonna take care of them. You got it?

- What are you saying? - You are good at it.

I promise. Just...

Just don't use it as an excuse.

Now, I'm gonna go take care of this. But I need

all of you to get as far away from here as possible.

You hear me?

Go. Go,

- and don't look back. - No. No, no,

- no, no, no. Please, no. - Yes.

You're gonna get killed.

Hey.

I'm gonna be okay.

I'm gonna be okay. Just remember what I said, okay?

- Don't be scared. - Come with us.

Please, please. We can make it.

We can make it if we still run. Please.

Take care of them. Okay?

- No. No, no, no. - And-and let them in.

- I bet they'll surprise you. - No.

Erin? Erin! Erin!

Erin!

No!

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go again.

Okay.

All right.

Come on, Erin.

- Get up, Erin. Come on. - Get up.

- Come on, Erin. Erin, please. Come on. - Get up!

- Get up. - Get up. - Come on, Erin.

Come on, Erin.

Okay.

Emotionally, I'm gonna win.

In my life, I'm gonna win.

I am going to win.

Oh, God, I hope this works.

Go.

- Come on. - Great.

Bring it, you motherfucker.

Here we go. Okay, come on, Erin.

- Oh. - She-she's doing it.

Here we go.

Shit.

No, no. No.

Erin, come on.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Damn it. Oh!

Hey.

- - It's okay. It's okay. - It's okay.

- Erin. - Shh. Shh.

It's okay.

Erin, you're okay. It's okay.

- Erin, it's okay. - I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Erin!

Hey. It's okay, Erin.

We need that backpack.

We can't let it fall into enemy hands. It's important.

- It's more important than getting you killed? - No,

it's not, Tiff. Just let it go.

We've come too far to let all this happen again.

We need it.

- Tiff, stay here. - Don't you open the door. Tiffany!

Damn it!

Come on, Tiff.

I swear to God, Tiff...

Oh, shit.

Get out of there, Tiff. Get out of there.

Come on, Tiffany.

Who the hell is that guy?

- We don't know him, right? - Mm-mm.

She was the one who killed Naldo.

You know,

I always hated these.

I remember this model.

Maneuvered well enough, but I had a miserable copilot.

"Miserable"? Excuse me?

I remember him being very charming,

very handsome

and, on a number of occasions, saving your life.

Before he settled down to a desk job.

Hey, he was promoted.

The probes have been all over the wreckage.

They found two dead travelers.

Okay. That's good, right?

Until it happens again.

Nobody wants this war to be over more than I do.

Then let's end it tomorrow by sending a team.

- Hell, just send me. - You know

that I can't do that.

It's not our way.

And so this war continues

simply because our enemy refuses

to tie its own hands as we do.

I know this is personal for you,

but I'm gonna need you

to separate that

from the task at hand!

You're not special.

We've all lost someone.

It was his time.

So, I'm gonna need you

to ablute this whole area

so that this can be done for good.

Oh, fuck. I stepped right in the guy!

Goddamn it.

Ugh! Fuck!

Tiff, I swear to God. Come on.

Christ, Tiff, are you crazy? That was so stupid.

- Ablution is happening. - Ablution?

What the hell are you talking about?

Larry told me about it. It's when the Old Watch

beams you up to some place, and they wipe your mind,

and then they put you back like nothing happened.

They use it to make people forget everything.

Why would they do that?

To keep the time war secret.

So that means we're going to forget all of this?

Yeah.

I mean, I think so.

Shit. It's coming!

It was nice knowing you, I guess.

But why do we still remember everything?

I mean, if this is the same thing

that happened on Hell Day...

Which, by all appearances, it totally was...

This is the second time it hasn't worked on us.

You don't think that's weird?

We're probably not important enough

to go looking for.

Well, if we're here undetected, it'll make it a lot easier

- to save Heck and Naldo. - What? No.

No. I'm going home to my parents, okay?

And I'm gonna play with my puppy,

and I'm gonna have a good dinner

and sleep in my own wonderful bed.

And you know what? I'm even looking forward

to having my stupid freaking bat mitzvah.

What? We have to warn them. They're walking into an ambush.

I am done watching people die.

KJ is right.

It's not our problem.

I'll even be glad to see my shithole of a house again.

I'll even be glad

to wake up for my stupid paper route tomorrow.

- Forget that. I'm quitting the paper route for sure. - Yeah.

You might be onto something there.

Hello? You guys are missing the bigger picture here.

Nothing can go back to normal right now.

What are you talking about?

We still have this.

It's a guide to every known folding.

There's a war going on, remember?

We can't just go home.

We have to help win this thing

and get this book to Heck and Naldo.

It's the key.

And if we don't do something within the next hour,

the versions of us that already exist in '88

are gonna go through everything we just did all over again.

They'll chase Heck and Naldo, Erin will get shot,

and we'll end up in their time capsule thing

and arrive in 2019 and all of that craziness.

Hello? We are the versions of us that exist in '88.

Why are there flags everywhere?

It's supposed to be Halloween.

July 3, 1999.

That's what the paper says.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Fuck this.

There has to be some kind of mistake,

like there was an error in the coordinates

when we went into the folding

or the Old Watch sabotaged the entire mission.

Tiffany.

Jesus Christ. Is it not obvious what happened?

- What? - Larry lied to us!

He wasn't ever gonna take us home!

- No way. No, he wouldn't. - So you think it's what?

A coincidence that we landed in the exact year

that he wanted to go to before you pitched

your brilliant fucking plan? You know what, Tiffany?

- KJ! - He would've said anything

to make Erin pilot that stupid robot.

All he cared about was getting that to '99 for the STF.

- He didn't give a shit about us. - KJ!

Old Erin died for a lie.

But how?

He said we were chosen.

Tiff.

We weren't chosen for anything.

We were an accident.

You doing all right?

I, um...

Were you always wearing those pants?

I need you.

I need you to steal something for me.

Yeah, we were at Mike's.

I don't know, just, like, played video games and...

A couple hours.

Yeah, we ordered a pizza.

What the hell?

Baby, I-I told you this already.

We're just friends.

We-we were hanging out with a bunch of people.

Come on, babe.

Shit! Babe, hold on. I swear I'll call you back.

- What are you doing? - I'm so sorry.

- The handle got stuck, and... - Look. Just step back, okay?

Try not to step in it.

Sorry!

I didn't get the pads.

They looked like full-on baby diapers,

so I got these instead.

I'm pretty sure they're the same.

Can I see them?

- What do you think "super" and "regular" mean? - Obviously

the size of your vagina.

You sure?

Yes.

I'd probably be a super.

How do you, like, measure it?

- Ask KJ. - How would I know?

Oh, I get it. Because I have emotions,

- you think I had it already? - No.

We think you've had it 'cause you're rich

and you ride horses and shit.

- Yeah. - You can get it from a horse?

- No. - I think it's from riding the horse.

- No, that doesn't happen. - That's not what I've heard.

Well, it didn't happen to me.

So you haven't had your...

Guess I'm a regular.

How do I get it...

in-in me?

How do you get it out?

There has to be instructions.

It just says it gives you

"out of sight and out of mind protection."

Let me see?

Here we go.

Okay. First, you wash your hands,

and then you get into a comfortable position.

Should I lie down?

Mm-mm. You should sit on the toilet

- with your knees apart. - How is that comfortable?

I don't know. I'm just reading this.

And then you, um,

push the tampon

inside, you know, that area.

And then how do you get it out?

It says you loosen your muscles,

and then you pull it out by the removal string.

- Which muscles? - It doesn't say.

It's gotta be vagina muscles.

I-I don't think mine has those.

What if it never comes out?

- I guess your body just absorbs it. - No.

It's like gum. It stays inside you forever

and slowly rots.

Wait, what's this thing on the back, this white circle?

It's some kind of warning.

Apparently, you can get Toxic Shock Syndrome from tampons.

What the fuck?

Fever, vomiting, rash, diarrhea...

Let me see that.

Yeah. Guys, this is bad.

Yeah, it's really bad.

One of my mom's friends got it and her leg fell off.

She's still alive, though.

- She just doesn't have a leg. - I can't.

I quit.

I don't think you can quit your period.

Oh, no, I can't do this.

I can't. Take it. Take it.

I'll get you a diaper.

How you doing in there?

- Erin, you doing okay? - Uh, I think so.

When she comes out, we need to find something to eat.

And we need to find someplace to sleep.

We need to get somewhere safe.

Then we can start going through this book

and trying to figure out how to get home.

Well, we're not going to any of our families.

That's for sure.

None of us want a repeat of...

you know... Erin.

- This time, we're on our own. - I agree.

We need to be careful,

but how are we supposed to survive on our own?

We're kids. We need help.

Homeless shelter?

Uh...

What? They serve food and shit.

Mac, we're not going to a homeless shelter.

All right, it was just an idea.

Oh, the school.

It's summer break, so it'll be empty.

Yeah, which probably means the electricity and water

are shut off.

But I bet we could figure out how to turn it on.

Which will probably make the cops come.

Maybe just cool it on the ideas for a sec, Tiff.

All right, fine. We can go to my house.

I don't think that's the best call.

Every Fourth of July weekend,

my parents and I go to Lake Erie,

and we stay on our boat.

Of course you do.

The house will be empty.

We can go there, we can get some supplies

and crash there for the night.

And then we'll think of a more permanent solution

tomorrow morning.

Great.

You sure?

It'll be fine for the night.

Hmm?

Wonderful! Now let's go.

Where?

It wasn't just me. We all believed him.

It made sense. I had a really good plan

to use the robot to get us to '88,

but that doesn't make it my fault

- he used that idea to trick us. - No, not at all.

You guys understand that, right?

Maybe Larry's just a liar, Tiff.

Yeah, but what he wrote in the book is real.

He thought the STF would be here.

He thought it was important.

How about you relax, Tiff?

You don't have to talk all the time, you know?

How much longer till your house?

It's up here on the left.

Sweet. A nice palace abode with nobody home.

It's not a palace. It's just a house

owned by two people who care what everybody else think.

There shouldn't be this many cars here.

No one's supposed to be home.

I think someone's home.

Shit. We have to go.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. What if we, like, just

grabbed some food, and then left?

- What? - We need supplies.

- We'll be quick. - No, Tiff.

What if someone sees us?

The only person they'd recognize would be you.

- That's true. - So why don't you wait out here,

- and we'll be in and out in, like, five minutes. - Yeah.

Mac. Tiff!

Mac. Sidewalk.

Erin...

And no Black people. Big surprise.

It takes different strokes to move the world, Tiff.

Different strokes.

I'll be in there.

Okay.

Guess we're staying.

Hey, KJ!

- Hey, Rick. - What' up? - Holy balls,

is that older you?

She's not a Jason from Friday the Thirteenth hockey freak.

Zip it.

- You got lei'd. - Ah!

You know, you are the first one to make that joke.

Oh, my God, I hate that guy. I hate him so much.

It's good to see you back home.

How was New York? Was it just...

one big episode of Friends?

Yeah, uh, imagine Friends, but just-just really poor.

Whoa, New York.

- That's cool. - Shh!

I really want to visit.

Maybe if I had, like, a tour guide or something.

Oh, my gosh, this guy wants you so bad.

Would you shut the hell up?

- There you are. - Oh, Mrs. Brandman.

Oh, Nora, please.

- God. - Hello, mommy dearest.

Oh, now you're even more beautiful.

Speaking of which, that dress was definitely the right choice.

Richard, doesn't she look gorgeous?

Oh, KJ always looks gorgeous, Nora.

- See? Ooh. - Thank you, thank you.

You don't have to say that, like, on-on cue or anything.

- I wouldn't say it... - It was so nice to see you.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna run

- I'm gonna check on my friend. - Yeah.

Lovely to see you. Yeah. I'll-I'll see you around.

She likes you, I'm telling you. I'm telling you.

I think we've got something going.

Ya hungry?

Brought you some food.

Okay, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

This stuff sucks, right?

I'm not hungry.

Hey. Come on.

Let's check out the rest of the Brandman mansion.

Or... you can stay here

and watch a bunch of old, drunk people do the mambo.

Whoa.

Damn, New Girl.

It doesn't taste as bad as I thought it would.

Am I supposed to feel anything?

Don't worry, it'll come.

Look at all these tickets.

KJ's so lucky.

My mom never took us anywhere.

- Not even the movies. - That blows.

Even my dad did that once in a while.

Well, he wouldn't physically take us,

but, um, he'd throw Dylan and me a couple bucks

every now and then to see, like, the newest Beverly Hills Cop

or something.

You would go together?

I still can't believe that numb nuts

turned out to be a doctor.

Sounds like you had a good time.

It wasn't bad.

Well, except for his oldest kid, Wilder.

What kind of name is that?

She was kind of a little shit.

Dylan's wife Jennifer was pretty nice, though.

Their other daughter, Alice, was pretty sweet, too.

They all had tons of clothes.

I'm sorry you had to leave.

Nah. I wouldn't have fit in anyway.

How does this look?

This looks pretty "chick."

I don't think that's how you say that word.

Come on, pick your jacket.

Come on. Nobody's looking.

Yeah.

Now you're looking like a Brandman.

In a good way?

Oh, God, Mac.

Come on, Tiff, let's get some supplies.

Patti?

Hey, girl.

- Hey... - Is that your puppy?

God, you've gotten so big.

She still remembers you.

Even though you missed her entire life.

Okay.

I'm gonna take her out. You stay here.

Come on, Patti.

Okay, this is courtesy of Ms. Taylor Shore.

Taylor Shore needs to carry more cash.

Um...

No. No, this is way too much. I can't.

- Um, hello? Time-traveling orphans have to eat, pal. - No, no, no.

Two hundred seems like a lot.

How about half? A hundred.

Okay, look, it doesn't matter

if we take 100, or 50 or five dollars.

We're stealing either way.

So if we're gonna be crooks, we might as well make it count.

Okay, fine.

I remember once last year, in fifth grade,

this fucktard Bryant Gibbs picked on me

for wearing Dylan's hand-me-downs.

So I tell Dylan about this, he gets apeshit mad.

He goes to this pinprick Bryant's house

and tries to pick a fight with him.

Bryant is in fifth grade.

Dylan already had his fuckin' license,

and he's way taller than this kid.

So he's pissing his pants when Dylan tells him

to step outside his house.

Of course, then, um, Bryant's dad came out...

Oh, shit.

Did he bolt out of there?

No way.

Dylan came home with a black eye swollen shut.

But he was grinning from ear to ear.

- He was smiling? - Yeah.

Dylan says, "The important thing is how you go down."

He went down swinging with everything he had.

Adult you definitely gave those bastards

one hell of a fight.

So...

...did it hurt?

What?

When she died.

Could you, like, feel it?

No.

I didn't feel anything.

I guess it's 'cause adult me never all the way

felt like me.

Even with everything...

She just always felt like a completely different person.

No.

She was you.

And that means that you saved all of our lives.

I guess I do have cajones.

That you do, New Girl.

- Hi, there. - Oh.

Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

I-I was just looking at the posters.

You're hiding out from the party.

I get it. Me, too.

There's a lot to deal with down there.

Yeah.

I'm Lauren. I go to graduate school with KJ.

I'm Katherine, KJ's cousin.

Wow, I-I see a resemblance.

Oh.

Yeah.

So...

what do you and KJ go to school for?

Uh, film school. We go to NYU.

KJ doesn't go to business school?

No. Why?

Did her mom tell you that?

I think old Nora would have preferred that instead.

Yeah.

- What do you do in film school? - Well,

we pay the school a lot of money

to study classic films in order to try to figure out

what makes a good movie.

At least I think that's the intention.

But we also make our own, and,

you know, hopefully one day we'll end up

with our name on one of those posters, who knows?

Hey, have you seen any of KJ's stuff?

Oh...

Oh, you should have her show you.

She's an amazing director.

Just an incredible eye.

I actually just shot her last short.

Black and white, you know, all hand held.

It takes place in the middle of the night

- on the subway in New York. - Wow.

What about you? Do you like movies?

Uh, pfft, yeah, I guess so.

I haven't really seen that many, though.

I mean, hey, I... I didn't really get into them until

my senior year, I think.

But once the bug bit, there was no return.

Kubrick changed my life.

What's a Kubrick?

Oh, my God, you're so cute.

Stanley Kubrick. He's a director.

If you want to see some insanely good movies,

like, really good movies, he's your guy.

You know, there's an art house theater downtown here,

and they're actually doing a Kubrick marathon this weekend,

starting with Paths of Glory.

But that's at 9:00 a.m.

and I cannot do trench warfare that early in the morning.

Oh.

But KJ and I are gonna swing in for 2001.

You should totally come.

Oh, um, I'll have to check with my parents,

but thank you, um...

Anyway, I'll let you get back to work.

- It was really nice meeting you, Lauren. - Likewise.

I hope I see a poster for your movie one day.

I hope so, too.

KJ! I've seen you...

- Shit. - ...a wonderful...

Uh, yeah, I'll-I'll be right back.

What you doing?

Just on AOL.

Hey, nice flower.

You look like a real Hawaiian queen.

My mom strikes again.

She's offered me up to Rick over break.

Bowling is on the docket.

Ah, sounds like a strong offer.

What, are you buying?

Mm. Tempting.

And Rick was quarterback in high school, so...

I actually have better things to do.

- Like what? - Like a ton of editing.

Is that all?

Watch some films.

Nothing else?

What the hell happened in there?

Why are you suddenly in such a rush?

You said we'd be out in five minutes, Mac.

That was before you joined us.

And Erin's three drinks.

Guess who I saw in there, KJ.

You.

Big whoop, Erin. We all did.

Yeah. But...

I know something that you don't know.

Shut up, right now.

Geez. All I was gonna say

that I saw that guy Rick talking about you.

I don't give a shit about Rick.

Why are you being such an asshole right now?!

What did you just call me?

She's not wrong.

Whoa, whoa, chill out.

- Don't you fucking touch me! - All right,

- just stop it! - What the fuck is your problem?

KJ!

What the fuck, KJ?!

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

You psycho!

You know what?!

I've had it with this shit!

You guys all blame me

because you think you know better and that you know

what you're doing!

But you guys are all just stupid little helpless children!

- Tiffany. - Tiffany.

Where are you going?

What the fuck is this now?

Who's she calling?

Hopefully the cops

so they can arrest this fucking psycho over here.

You know what to do.

Hi.

I'm looking for Tiffany Quilkin.

I don't know if this is the right Tiffany,

but the one I'm looking for was born on November 7, 1975.

Your mom's nickname for you is Tiffan-E=MC2

because Einstein is your hero.

Oh, and you also have a birthmark

on your right butt cheek.

If this is you...

I could really use your help right now.

Hello?

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