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Original subtitles

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- Okay. - Mm, okay.

Now, I'm just gonna flip it to the other side.

Perfected corner, okay.

- Want to do this part? - Yes.

The satisfaction of folding it.

Do you want to know your future?

- How does it work? - Watch carefully. Pen.

Here.

- Who do you want to marry? - Gross.

Not right now, doofus.

When you grow up.

Batman.

You're such a dweeb.

What? I'm sorry he's not Kirk Cameron.

Everybody's sorry they're not Kirk Cameron.

Who else?

How about the guy from Dirty Dancing?

- Mom won't let us watch that. - Oh.

- I got it. - What is it?

How about ALF?

No.

You're so marrying ALF.

- Not at all. - Okay,

this is the number of kids you'll have.

One, two,

three, or 100.

Do I have to have kids?

- Ugh, the future sucks. - We'll see.

Only the fortune teller really knows.

Pick a color.

Pink.

P-I-N-K. Pick a number.

Hm... Three.

One, two, three.

Aw... ...too bad and so sad.

You're the future Mrs. ALF.

- Ugh. - And you're going to have

100 ALF babies.

No, I don't even like ALF,

and I don't think it's possible to have 100 babies.

It says it right here.

Okay, your turn.

Pick a color.

Sorry about this.

Fu...

For the last 14 years,

the farm has been home to this vital STF asset.

I've been tasked with maintaining and keeping it ready

for the mission that Heck and Naldo would come here to do.

What on earth was their mission?

Don't touch that.

Sorry.

Uh, the capsule that brought the girls

from 1988, that was, uh...

uh, a lifeboat.

This is a battleship,

and I need you to drive it.

No.

Yeah.

No, no...

- Hell, no. Wh... - Erin, hey.

You have to pilot it.

You're the one that it's paired to.

Well, then un-fucking-pair it.

You honestly expect me to drive some gigantic Transformer?

Oh, oh, you must be out of your goddamn mind.

Just listen to me, listen to me.

If we can get it to '99, the STF will be there.

They can help the girls get home and, more importantly,

they can finish this war

once and for all.

Wait,

that robot's a time machine?

One, I'm not taking them to a war zone

for some secret mission.

I don't care how important it is, they're 12.

You remember 12, Larry?

'Cause I sure as hell do, and it sucked

hard enough without having to worry about getting killed in

robo future battles or whatever.

And, two, even if

they did get back to where they belong,

how would I get home in that scenario?

Yeah, yeah, you see? Exactly.

The answer is no.

Hell no.

Larry's right.

- Thank you. - Excuse me?

Heck or Naldo told me, "Find Underground."

Home.

Don't you understand? Larry is obviously

the "Underground" we were supposed to find,

and that robot is what's gonna take us home.

That robot's going to 1999.

- So, drop us off on the way. - It's not a school bus,

and I'll be damned if I'm gonna blow the '99 mission.

But if we went back to '88,

couldn't you just save Heck and Naldo from ever

dying in the first place? Wouldn't that solve everything?

I-I wish it were that easy.

Why can't it be?

You save Heck and Naldo, and then

they take the robot to '99 to finish their mission.

And then you

and Old Erin over here come right back to 2019

in that space capsule time machine they have, right?

Like you said, Larry,

I hold the keys.

I'm the pilot, not you.

And I'm...

I'm taking them home.

Okay.

Okay, it-it-it might work.

This is great.

Yes.

KJ...

What now?

We have to go find Mac. What?

- We do. - Well, she left us.

Okay, y-you guys, j-just wait, everyone, um...

Just to be clear, uh, I'm not cool with "Old Erin,"

and, second of all,

I-I have no clue how to drive that thing.

Well, let's hope you're a fast learner

because we have one shot to leave tonight.

Welcome to the Underground.

We leave in six hours.

Ha!

Ah!

Aw, crap.

Are you okay?

You asshole.

Oh, you could've put my eye out.

Next time, I will.

Do you know what would make this day even better?

What?

If you'd quite being such a tight-ass

and buy me some smokes.

Ha, ha. Absolutely not.

Come on. I'm already dead, right?

It's not like they're gonna kill me.

Yes, they will. And, no, you're not.

You're the one who got me hooked in the first place.

- I did not. - Bullshit.

You don't remember?

We were in Nugget's backyard,

and you guys were trading Chinese throwing stars.

It was a Marlboro red, and you punched me

'cause I didn't inhale it right.

God, I was such a dick.

No duh.

I'm serious. I shouldn't have done that.

It's no big deal.

Probably would've done the same thing.

No. I...

Now that I have kids, I...

I realize how...

rough our childhoods were.

Lots of the stuff we dealt with was...

unacceptable, Mac,

especially the violence.

You know that, right?

- I guess so. - And I'm not just talking about Dad,

it was me, too.

I shouldn't have bullied you.

I owe you an apology.

That must've been really hard for you. I'm sorry.

If there's... anything you want to talk about,

anything I forgot, any...

feelings you want to get out, I'm available.

You can tell me anything.

Mac?

Yeah, well...

I guess there is one thing.

I just keep wondering

when did you become such a gigantic gay-wad?

You can't say that anymore. It's offensive.

Dad had a lot of things wrong.

It's on me and you to do better.

Sorry.

Well, what the hell can I say, then?

Hm, well,

"motherfucker" is still a classic.

Taint face, fuck-knuckle, ball sack.

- Shit-eater? - Yeah, shit-eater works.

Well, then, in that case,

do your fancy hospital friends know that

your real name is Dr. Dildo, the taint face shit-eater?

Course they do.

What do you think it says on all my business cards?

Does Dad know you're rich?

He knows I'm a doctor.

Where is he now, anyway?

Last I heard, a trailer park in Florida.

We don't really talk anymore.

And you named your kid Alice, huh?

I did.

Once you were diagnosed,

Alice never left your side.

And... afterward,

she was the only one who was there for me.

I guess this is finally my shot to be here for you.

Okay, let's see what this is.

Uh, it says it's syncing the computers

to my vestibulo-ocular reflexes.

That's your equilibrium.

It must be using your eyes and ears to

reset the system's orientation when we jump through time.

You got to make sure you keep us upright upon reentry, okay?

Everything else should be set to autopilot.

I mean, we can even fly like that.

Fly?

Yeah. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

- Yeah, what does this button do? - Don't touch that!

Jesus Christ. This is a war machine, okay?

It's-it's-it's not a plaything.

Oh, God, L-Larry, Larry.

It says I armed the missiles.

- What? Are you serious? - No.

Not at all.

That's not funny.

- Just fucking with you. - No.

It's not even a little bit funny.

You have no idea what's at stake here.

Yeah, yeah, it's the fate of humanity, I get it.

Look, I need you to listen for two seconds, okay?

I understand that it's some abstract thing for you,

but it's not for me.

And if you fuck up,

and you accidentally touch one of the wrong buttons,

we all die.

Okay?

Okay.

- I'm sorry. - You should be.

Now, are you ready to start acting like an adult again?

Fantastic.

Then let's move to the glove.

Slide your hand in, move it around.

Holy shit.

Th-That... that's amazing.

Yeah.

You should only need to use this

if we have to go manual. Like, uh,

if we land inside of a building or something.

Land inside a building?

It's unlikely, but yes.

We should be fine either way,

assuming you're even a mildly decent pilot,

which feels like it might be... I don't know...

An unrealistic expectation at this point. But...

That's well played.

L-Larry, I-I have to take this.

Well, we're definitely gonna die.

Okay, I know, I'm sorry, I missed it. I-I just...

I-I know I should've called you back.

I've just been really, um... busy.

I'm standing in your living room right now.

What? Y... You went to the house?

Yes. That's what happens when you don't show up

to sell our mother's house

and refuse to answer any of my calls.

I drove all the way up from Columbus,

and you can't even be bothered to drive five minutes

to the real estate office.

What's going on?

Where are you?

Uh...

It's kind of hard to explain.

Are you in trouble?

Just... tell me, I'll come to you.

Uh, no, Larry wouldn't like that.

Who's Larry?

Okay, tell me where you are,

or I'm calling the cops.

Okay, okay, just hold on.

Hey, hey, Larry, what's your... what's your address?

What?

The child came in last night,

and we had a-a brief interaction

before a family member arrived, and...

I released her to his custody.

I understand,

but the file's incomplete,

and our department cannot allow things like this

to slip through the cracks.

Yes, of course. It's just,

as far as I can gather, this is a very

compromising situation

for one of our doctors.

Look, I don't want to get anybody

in trouble here, you know that,

but I got to complete the file, right?

Why don't you just give me an address,

and I'll just pop over for a very discreet follow-up,

no drama, just...

colleague to colleague.

Hey, Glen, uh, can you,

uh...

Can you give me some information

on Dr. Coyle?

I am seen,

and I am worthy.

Emotionally, I'm gonna win.

And in my life...

I'm gonna win.

Huh? Hey. What...

Wh-Wh-What are you doing down here?

It's just Missy's actually coming here.

- Is she a doctor now? - No, uh, pilot.

Helicopters. The military paid for her school and stuff.

Whoa!

Didn't see that coming, um...

Yup. She's a real hero.

But don't get too excited, okay? She can't see you.

She already thinks I'm nuts.

I just think it's great that you guys

have a chance to fix everything.

We're not fixing anything.

We're just finishing up some business

with the house, that's it.

Okay, well, you-you have to try.

You can't erase 20 years of resentment in one afternoon.

- 20 years... - Okay, you're stressing me out.

Just...

Just get out of here, will ya?

Don't you remember the time

we accidentally slammed Missy's fingers on the car door,

and she flipped out until we sang that dumb song

with Mandarin cuss words?

Uh, no.

Because...

Okay.

You just need to find the adult version of that.

There is no adult version of that, okay?

And, besides, Missy, she's-she's not the same person

she was when you knew her.

Well, what do you mean?

Look, um...

I take no pleasure in telling you this, but...

Missy wasn't exactly there for us when Mom got sick.

I-I know that that's a lot, and I-I promise

that we can talk about it later, but right now, I just

need you to go upstairs with the other girls

and stay out of sight.

Hey.

We can't fuck this up.

Okay?

- Okay. - Let's go. Come on.

Mr. Larry?

Excuse me, Mr. Larry?

Mr. Larry, before you get mad, I have something for you.

Bongos?

It's not...

It-It's none of your business. You have ten seconds.

Great. So, since we've decided to back to 1988,

I've been tracking all of the events of the morning we left.

Every STF encounter, including

times and locations.

I think I even found our optimal entry point.

- Bring it here. - Okay.

This is where everything froze and the sky went pink?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what happens when the Old Watch

wipes people's minds and-and "fixes" everything.

It's called Ablution.

Wow. Ablution?

It's not a good thing.

Wait, why weren't our minds wiped, then?

I don't know, you must've somehow

avoided the beam. It-It's light-based,

their capture mechanism,

at least to the extent that we understand it. Th...

The actual mind wiping takes place on their command ship.

Well, thanks for this, um...

Tiffany.

Tiffany Quilkin.

Thanks, Tiffany.

You're welcome.

Smart kid.

I think I'll be able to see her from here.

Well, aren't you supposed to stay out of sight?

Maybe your sister's just a bitch and...

- Hey! - What?

Erin, you're already messing with your own life,

don't go messing up Missy's, too.

Okay, is that why you've never mentioned seeing yourself?

I don't know.

Seriously, though.

I guess I just don't really care.

Okay, you don't care... That's impossible.

It's not impossible 'cause I don't care, okay?

If my mother got her way, I turned out

exactly how she wanted me to,

and I don't need to see that.

I hate this room.

What are you doing? You just told me

to stay out of sight.

I found a way to Mac.

Really?

Yeah, I used Larry's computer,

and I found her brother's address.

The way old-you showed us.

You can do that?

Yeah, they've got, like, maps and everything. It's crazy.

I won't tell if you don't.

So, listen, I've been thinking about

how this will work,

making you a permanent part of the family and everything.

One day, in a couple of weeks,

we'll get some bad news about Jo's mom.

She has a nasty relapse,

she disappears, and...

then I'll have the adoption talk with Jennifer.

Adoption?

- So you'd be my dad? - Uh...

Man, that's weird.

Yeah, yeah, it's super weird.

But it won't always be.

We'll get used to it.

Soon enough, we'll enroll you here at Buttonwood.

We'll-we'll get you, uh, a tutor,

so you can catch up with your grade level.

We'll... we'll find you some extracurriculars.

Well, that sure seems like a lot of work for a dead person.

You're not a dead person.

I want you to stop saying that.

Okay, Dad.

Hey, hey, hey, guys.

Hey, I want you to meet somebody.

This is, uh,

this is my cousin, second cousin.

Why is she wearing my leather jacket?

Because I loaned it to her, honey.

- Sorry. - Well, I wish you'd asked.

Please, just get in the car, and we can talk about it, okay?

Oh, hi.

I'm Alice.

Hi.

All right, hop in.

So, how'd you two meet, again?

Uh, you know, we...

Just... It's funny, we-we ran into each other,

and, um, and then just, sparks flew.

I-I guess I really, um...

- knocked her off her feet. - Oh.

- Mm. - Hey.

- I love you. - I love you, Larry.

Yeah. Thank you.

So, I guess you know all about our mother's death, then?

Of course he does.

He can't speak for himself?

No, I-I can. I can, of course.

Uh, and I-I-I'd just like to say, um...

...sounds like she put up a good fight.

Uh, I'll just

let you two ladies chat.

- It was so nice to meet you, Misty. - Um, Missy.

Missy. Right.

Sorry.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it!

Uh...

Oh, mama!

So, you're a fucking bike thief. These fucking kids!

These fucking kids.

Is he taking your money?

Jesus... No.

He's my boyfriend.

I mean, is it really so weird I'd have a boyfriend?

Missy, why are you grilling me?

I'm an adult. I can do whatever I want.

Are you still taking your meds?

D-Did you really just ask me that?

It's a legitimate question.

- Yes, Missy, I'm taking my meds. - Okay.

I'm also taking care of, literally,

everything else.

Including packing up our family home

without asking you to lift so much as a fucking finger.

And now you're holed up on some farm with a man who's clearly

unstable in some way,

and you don't even show up this morning.

That's what this is all about,

the money for the house.

You know it's not about the money.

Do I?

I need your help.

What the hell are you doing in here?

Sorry, I just...

I need, I need to talk to you.

I told you to stay out of sight.

I, um...

I forgot my bag. I need...

Yeah.

Thanks.

Um, Missy, it's...

It's been a tough year.

I wish you would've reached out.

Well, you have... kids,

and a career, and a husband.

I mean, th-there was no need for both of us

to go through all that.

I didn't ask you to spare me, Erin.

Are you mad about that?

No. I just

never asked you to be a martyr.

Well, I-I'm not a martyr, but...

Mom needed care around the clock.

Believe me, I did you a favor.

- A favor? - Yeah.

A pretty big one, if you ask me.

Okay, so I guess you'd like a thank you, then?

- I never said that. - You didn't have to.

I know that's what you're waiting for, so here it is.

Thank you, Erin, for robbing me of a relationship

with my mother in her final years.

How can I ever repay you?

Missy...

Come on, I never...

You know I never meant to do that.

It doesn't matter what you meant. It's done.

Jesus Christ.

Of course you're not where you're supposed to be.

I'm sorry.

Hey, you know your friend?

The one who stole my bike?

You're probably never gonna see her again.

I know. I-I tried to stop her, but nobody listens to me.

The Old Watch kills time travelers, okay?

Do you get that?

I do.

But I don't want her to die, okay?

I-I don't want any of us to die.

I...

I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have shouted at you. Uh...

We've only got a couple of hours,

- and I'm just scared. - It's fine.

Hey, do you want to see something cool?

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Must've been a couple years

younger than you when my grandfather informed me

I wasn't getting a free ride.

What does that mean?

The Radakowski Farmer's Almanac.

It's basically a bible of every detail

regarding weather conditions here on the farm.

If my grandfather hadn't kept me here

and forced me

to log every...

...light breeze and-and-and drop of boring rain,

I'd have never been prepared

to do this.

I don't understand any of it.

That's because I encoded the information to keep it safe.

Coordinates showing

exactly where and when the foldings occur.

Wait, what's a folding?

The secret back roads of time travel.

- And we took one of those here? - Mm-hmm.

This one here. This is the big enchilada.

It opens in just a few hours now,

right out there in that field,

and I've been waiting

a long time for this one.

Whoa.

I spent so long hating every acre of this farm,

and my grandfather,

and the responsibility, and the corn, but...

...it was never about the corn.

It's like you were chosen.

I was.

Maybe that means that I was chosen, too.

Yeah, maybe.

Can I help you?

Oh, um...

I'm-I'm really sorry. I'll just, um...

I was just looking for my friend, and she's not...

Oh, uh, uh, Kimberly.

- I'm sorry... - Oh, no, sorry, sorry. I mean, I mean Jo.

I-I forgot, her friends always call her Jo.

Uh, right.

Jo. Um, is she staying here?

She is. Uh, r-right now,

she's down the street at the Chili's with her cousins.

- Okay, um... - Well, uh, do you want...

Do you want to come inside and wait for her?

You know, maybe have a glass of water?

- Um... - They should be back soon.

- Okay. Yeah, um... - Okay.

Come on.

So, you hungry? I could make some kale chips.

Uh... um,

what are kale chips?

You know what?

You're right. It's a terrible idea.

So...

you drove all the way out here, huh?

Um, yeah, uh...

Jo and I got into a bit of a fight,

and I felt really bad about it,

so I wanted to apologize to her,

but when I went to, I couldn't find her, so...

It's nice of you to come all this way.

Especially with everything that's going on with her family.

I know it's gonna mean the world to her

to see a familiar face.

She's a great kid, you know?

I'm glad she's got a girlfriend like you.

What? Um...

No, I'm not her girlfriend. No. We're just...

We're just regular friends, you know?

Normal. Normal friends.

Um...

We're not even that close, so it's not...

It's not like that, um, we're not, uh...

Yeah. That's what I meant, just a girl who's a friend.

- Yeah. - But don't listen to me. I'm ancient.

I don't know what you call each other anymore.

Um...

Do you think we could call Chili's

to see when they'll be back?

- Can I help you? - Hi, I'm Larissa.

My husband and I just moved into the tan colonial

around the corner.

Oh. Hi, Larissa.

I-I didn't even realize it was for sale.

I'm just making the rounds. We're apologizing

for our two very loud dogs. I hope you like

- salted caramel blondies. - Oh, wow.

They're gluten and dairy-free.

- Really? - Of course. What do I look like?

Some kind of monster?

I hate to ask, but do you mind if I use your restroom?

Oh, no, no, yeah. Of course not. Come on in.

Hey!

Where is she going?

Why do we have to come here?

These portion sizes are a crime against humanity.

You know, I bet you could feed an entire

homeless shelter with what they throw away.

Just try it. You never know,

you might like it.

Guys, look. They're almost the size of my face.

Stop it.

- You're embarrassing yourself. - What? You afraid

your private school friends are gonna see her?

Oh, please. My friends do not come here.

So, Wilder, how was practice this morning?

Oh, it was great. I finally nailed my sit spin.

Heck, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

So...

do you have to wear a leo-tard

when you sit and spin?

Ice skating happens to be a very demanding sport, Jo.

Yeah, so, what'd you do today?

Besides bite my style.

- Wilder. - Oh, let's see.

So, it started with me and Dr. Dildo, over here,

shooting off illegal fireworks,

then he took me on a shopping spree,

but then the clock struck 3:00, and he suddenly

turned back into a total prick.

So, here we are.

Come with me.

Hey. What the hell are you doing?

What am I doing? I'm standing up for myself,

and in case you forgot, you're not my actual dad.

No, but I am their dad, and we don't talk to each other

- like that in my house. - Why are you acting like such a pussy?

I don't even know who you are right now.

Would you cut me some slack? I'm trying to step up here.

And what was that lame-ass apology about this morning?

It's like you got rich,

you had a family, and now you're ashamed of me.

And you want me to feel bad about myself, too,

but guess what? I don't.

I like who I am, and I sure as shit

like the old version of you

a whole lot better than this limp dick

dipshit standing in front of me.

I'm still the old me, Mac,

but I'm this me now, too.

I can't help that I grew up. Life happened, and, yeah,

I've changed, but that doesn't mean that I'm ashamed of you.

Far from it.

I love you,

and I'm your older brother.

Nothing will ever change that.

Look, this is bat shit crazy, there's no getting around it.

But-but...

we're gonna figure it out.

Because we have something that most people never get,

a second chance.

And there's no way in hell I'm gonna waste it

by not giving you the life you deserve.

Come here.

Hey, I'm gonna use the john real quick.

I'll meet you back at the table.

Don't fall in.

- We have to go, we have to go. We have to get out of here. - What are you doing here?

- I'm not going anywhere with you. - You have to.

I am not leaving.

Listen to me, we found a way back to 1988.

- Wh-What? - We have to go tonight.

This is our only shot.

- KJ, I want to stay here. - You don't understand,

that future lady murderer is after us.

I saw her at your brother's house,

and she's got to be on her way here right now.

What?

An "A" in science?

All right. Okay, so tell me about school.

- Mr. Jonas got fired. - What? Why?

Sorry, but if you want them to live,

we have to go right now. Come on.

We have to hurry.

Party of one?

Larry, we-we-we can't just leave

the other two girls here.

You know, th-they could still be alive.

A-And don't give me any of that, like,

sacrifices of war bullshit, please.

You think I want to put them in danger?

I mean, they'd probably all be safer staying here.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means there's no good choice here,

it's dangerous either way. Once you and I

are out of our own time line,

we're detectable by the Old Watch.

And, like you said, they're 12.

Please, tell me this isn't the first time you've noticed.

I'm serious. You're right.

They're kids.

I'm not sure they can fully comprehend

what they're getting themselves into.

Well, of course they can't fully comprehend it, but...

they got this far on their own, didn't they?

And besides...

...what's the alternative?

Where the hell are they?

They're not gonna make it.

Larry says the folding is only open for ten minutes.

Oh, shit.

Damn.

A folding in time.

Time to go!

Did you see that?

- Oh, my God, it's them! - It's Mac and KJ.

Are you okay?

- We thought you were dead. - Oh, my God, you idiots. - Let's go.

We're almost there.

We're almost there. Just get to the folding.

Ah!

It's not that I'm mad,

I'm just...

...disappointed.

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