Original subtitles

WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

1 So, Mr. Gweerin...

Guerin.

It says here you've been an emancipated minor for the last two years.

- Yeah. - Lot of responsibility for someone your age.

You like responsibility?

Yeah, sure. I like to stay on top of things.

I only got four notices! How can you cut off my power?

I'm a big believer in self-discipline. Ripped By mstoll

I'll take it.

What about school? Aren't you worried that a second job might interfere with your studies?

I think I can handle it.

Okay, let's cut to the chase, Gweerin.

You already have a job flipping burgers. Why do you want a second job?

Well, there are many reasons. Uh...

But I think the primary one is...

Please don't tell me that the words, "Maria, can you pick up the check?"...

are gonna come floating out of your mouth once again, 'cause, if so, I swear to God...

- Financial. - I see.

And I guess l... I sort of want to see what it's like out there in the world.

Congratulations.

You are now Meta-Chem Pharmaceutical's newest security guard.

When do I start?

Orientation is tomorrow night.

I'm not gonna be done at the Crashdown until 10:00. Is that too late?

We don't need you till 0200.

Oh-two... That's 2:00 a.m.

That's right. 2:00 to 7:00 every night.

You're working the graveyard. I'll see you then.

♪♪ [Rock]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Ends]

[Liz's Voice] Dear Max, It's so horrible and so unjust to pass you in school...

and have to wonder whether some teacher's gonna call my father.

But no matter how hard my parents try, nothing can keep us apart.

I love you. And even when I can't see you in the day...

I see you at night in my dreams.

And I have been... dreaming about you.

Over and over, it's you and me, holding hands and flying through the night.

I know it sounds cornball, but it isn't. It's amazing.

Like Superman and Lois Lane in the first movie...

you know, the good one.

- He wasn't coming in. - Let's get back to work.

He wasn't coming in here. He wasn't breaking the rules.

We'll talk about it after your shift, okay?

This is so ridiculous.

You can't keep us from seeing each other.

- Oh, table 11 's waiting. - Oh, look at that.

[People Chattering On TV]

[Clears Throat]

Kyle?

- Hey, son. How was work? - It sucked, as usual.

- Toby has me rehabbing brake pads again. - Mmm.

"Your credit rating may be adversely affected by this action."

Well, it's nice of them to let us know.

So how's the, uh, job search going?

You got any prospects for a full-time, well-paying job in your future?

Well, actually, something did sort of come up.

You got a job?

Well, it's not exactly a job. It's, uh...

sort of a... How do I describe this?

It's a business. Kind of a small business.

This I like.

I like this. Small business?

- Mm-hmm. - That sounds profitable.

Okay. Hit me.

Pitch me. Make me proud.

I think I should pursue this a little bit further.

- I'll tell you about it in a few days. - Okay.

I can handle that.

I think.

Michael, please. Come out.

You have been in there an hour.

- Go home. I will see you tomorrow. - No, I want to see it.

- Maria... - [Door Opens]

- Hey, Max. - Oh. Sorry. Bad time?

Is this some deranged sex thing?

- I got a job. - Security guard?

Gotta start somewhere. What are you doing here?

Nothing. I just, uh...

Maxwell, it's the middle of the night. What's goin' on?

Well, you heard about my dad and I. That... That I moved out.

Yeah, you left the loving parents, the cushy home, college fund.

- Smart move. - Yeah, I just...

Look, I need a place to crash for a couple days, until I figure something else out.

So how does the Chevelle figure into this?

- My car? - Do I get driving privileges?

- Yes, Michael. - The couch is yours.

Mr. Ramirez. Fancy meeting you here.

- Isabel... Evans, isn't it? - Mmm.

Aren't you out late for a school night?

[Chuckles] I'm in college now.

Sometimes I'm out all night.

I cannot believe we're meeting in a convenience store.

My parents never shop here.

Why don't you just tell them about us?

I mean, eventually the smell of microwave burritos is going to kill the mood.

We will. We will tell them.

We just have to ease them into it over a decade or two.

Isabel, you're 18. You're an adult.

My parents can barely get used to the idea of me dating high-school guys.

You're a 26-year-old lawyer who works for my father...

- who's... - Who's Latino?

You're Latino? I thought you just had a great tan.

Ha-ha.

- Jesse, that is totally not it. - So what is it?

This is just the worst time.

My parents are all freaked out about Max moving out...

and I just think we need more time before anybody knows.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Whoops. - Kyle.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

My dad neglected to stock the fridge, and so I needed...

Ho Hos. Of course.

- Ho-ho. - [Chuckling]

Bye.

[Man On TV, Indistinct]

- What are ya doin', man? - Watchin' a replay of tonight's game.

Hey, Chico, you can't do that. Can he do that?

Can I do that?

Aren't you supposed to be checking the motion sensor logs for the anomalies?

Done. But, here, I'll check again.

Checked and rechecked.

- Hey, Chico, can I get that on my screen too? - Hold on.

- Michael, turn the game off, man. That's not cool. - Steve, here's the thing.

This job sucks.

It's the most boring thing I've ever done in my life.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna do what I can to improve the work conditions.

That means this.

The company has a very strict dress code.

Yeah, but who's gonna enforce it?

Suddenly, I feel very bad.

Now, I know you want to take that off. Come on.

Somehow, I know I'm going to regret this.

[All Cheering]

Oh! Yeah!

Boys, I have come bearing gifts.

Oh, sweet, dude!

[Chattering, Indistinct]

- Hey. Whoa. - Nice!

- Yeah! - Uh, what else do we got going?

What do you got going there, bud?

[All Cheering]

All right. Here you go. Here you go. That's plenty.

Door 52 secure, sir.

You've certainly made the guys a happier crew.

Fly was actually on time tonight.

Just trying to make things more interesting.

Door 53 secure. Job still sucks.

Look, Michael, I just don't want this to get out of control.

Some of us need this job.

You take this job way too seriously. What's the worst that could happen?

Hey, Maria sounds like a good girl.

You're all set.

Got a girl. Got a job.

Yeah, I just need power back on in my apartment, and I'll be living the American dream.

- Uh, so you gonna marry her? - Maria?

I don't know about marriage, Chico.

- That's a little bit down the line. - Yeah.

- Hey, Mike. - Mm-hmm. Yep.

I don't think you should say "Chico." You really don't pull it off.

Right. Yeah.

Red alert!

[Michael] Is this straight? Is it this way? Yeah.

Good evening, sir. Can I be of some assistance?

It's come to my attention that there has been a serious security breach at Meta-Chem.

- What kind of breach? - Theft.

Someone broke into the company cafeteria and made off...

with a substantial amount of Peach Snapple.

Several cases, in fact. The food service manager seems to think it's an inside job.

What do you think we should do about this, Mr., uh, Gweerin?

I think we should get right on it, sir.

Where should we start?

I think that the first thing you should all do is clean out your lockers.

You're all fired.

[Door Opens, Shuts]

So somebody steals one lousy case of Snapple, and what do they do?

They blame the little guy. They point the finger...

at the people at the bottom of the ladder, the people who are actually working for a living.

- You actually worked? - We screwed around a lot. But let me tell you something...

Nobody got in or out of that plant without us knowing about it.

We had that place wired tight. Meta-Chem is lucky to have people like us on duty.

[Laughing]

- Okay, so technically, I stole it, but they didn't know that. - Right.

Carl fired us because he only thought that one of us took it.

- But you did take it. - That's not the point.

- Okay, tell me the point again. - That corporate America sucks.

All right. So I'm assuming I'm gonna have to keep paying for dinner...

and supplying the kerosene to light the apartment.

- I'll get another job. - Uh-huh.

- Now, what did the other guys say about this happening? - What other guys?

Your coworkers. Skunk and Flea.

- Monk and Fly. - Whatever.

- Did they at least stick up for you? - No, they were fired too.

- What? - We all got fired.

Wait. You got the whole department fired?

Whose side are you on? I didn't get everybody fired. We all drank of the Snapple.

Wait. "Drank of the Snapple"? When did we get on biblical terrain here?

I'm not gonna take the blame for this whole thing.

But it's your fault. You acted irresponsibly, and now everyone's unemployed.

I gotta get some fresh air.

- Steve. - Hey.

Sorry about what happened. I didn't know Carl would blow a gasket like that.

It's over, so...

- You applying for the clerk job? - Apparently.

Isn't it like half as much as we were making at Meta-Chem?

- Gotta feed the wife and kids. - Yeah, really.

That's an expression, right. "Feed the wife and kids"?

Didn't you see the picture on my desk? Cheryl? The kids?

I guess. But I thought she was your girlfriend.

And l-I thought the kids were your brother and sister or your-your nephew.

I've gotta get over to Burger Hut.

There's a job working the drive-through.

- See you, Mike. - Hey, Steve.

I'm sorry, man.

That doesn't help me, Mike.

Orbit rings.

Um, galaxy sub.

Um, asteroid salad.

Oh. Uh, the Worf wrap.

Uh, is everything good here for you guys? Good. That's great.

I'll be right back with your drinks.

Hi.

God, I miss you.

This is so insane. My dad's right outside.

I know. I saw him.

- I miss you so much. - Listen, Friday. Midnight.

I want you to meet me. Dress warm.

- Why? - You'll see.

I got to go.

- Yeah. - [Jeff] Liz?

Come on!

- Midnight. Friday. - Okay.

- Liz? - Yeah?

- Where'd you go? - Uh, nowhere.

Ah, I was, uh, just taking out the trash.

- [Bell Dings] - That must be mine.

- Hey. - Hello.

You're probably wondering what you saw in the convenience store the other day.

No, no. A stone unobserved is a stone...

Is this Buddhist?

- Yes. - Could you not?

- Okay. - Thank you.

His name is Jesse Ramirez.

He's my boyfriend. [Clears Throat]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't I seen that guy leaving your father's office?

Yeah, he works for my father.

As an assistant?

As a lawyer.

- So he's like 22, 23? - Twenty-six.

Twenty-six?

That's a problem.

Well, uh, just out of curiosity...

have you... have you told Jesse...

about your secret identity?

No. No.

Max and Michael would never agree to letting anybody else in on the secret.

And I guess the truth of the matter is, I sort of love Jesse not knowing.

It's like we're this normal couple.

Nothing's ever easy, is it?

Nope.

Hey, I'm actually glad that you found out.

It's kinda nice to talk about it.

Well, no problem. [Chuckles]

And, Kyle...

if you tell anybody, I'll be forced to use my formidable alien powers on you.

Cool. Cool. My day is never truly complete...

until my life's been threatened by an alien, so...

No problem. Okay, bye.

Wait, wait, wait. Um, good for you.

I mean, Max has Liz...

and Michael has Maria, and you never really had that...

so... good for you.

Thanks, Kyle.

So you're gonna return the Snapple?

Yeah.

And you think that's gonna get you your job back?

- You got a better idea? - Well, why don't you just get more hours at the Crashdown?

Because that's not what it's about, Max. It's about the principle of it.

You stole the Snapple, Michael. How could it be about principle?

Because it's not fair to ruin one person's life over a few bottles of Snapple.

- And this is ruining your life? - Not mine.

This guy at work, Steve. He's a killjoy, and he got fired with the rest of us.

Turns out he's got a wife and kids.

- Nice. - Which isn't my fault.

I mean, why should I worry about it?

If he takes it upon himself to marry someone...

and then knock her up before he's got a decent job, how is that my problem?

It isn't.

- So why do I feel like this? - Like what?

[Exhales] I don't know.

- Like you care? - Yeah.

It's weird.

See, there's you and Isabel, and you guys are like family.

And then there's Maria, and she's... Ah, she's Maria.

And besides that, I've never had this feeling. But these guys, it's cool.

We can hang and we talk and we laugh...

and it's-it's like, uh...

- they're... - Friends.

Something like that.

Anyways, I gotta go.

Wait, wait. Uh, you're gonna return them now?

Yeah, I'm gonna break in and put the Snapple back.

- Behind the fridge. - And then what?

Then I'm gonna call 'em, and I'm gonna tip 'em off... anonymously.

And when they realize that nobody stole the Snapple, and it was all a misunderstanding...

they'll have no choice but to give our jobs back.

Michael, what you're about to do is not a plan. It's not an idea.

It's something you think about in your mind, and then you come up with something better.

Yeah, I don't have anything better.

[Lock Clicks]

[Doorknob Clicks]

[Beeps]

Carl's a thief.

[Woman Chattering On TV, Indistinct]

- [Click] - [People Cheering]

Where were you?

I was out. Just out.

Have you been drinking?

No. Well, a couple of beers.

That's terrific, Dad. This part of your new business plan?

Actually, it is.

Listen, uh...

I want you to keep an open mind about this.

The, uh...

Now, I know it's not exactly what you maybe had in mind, okay...

but I'm tellin' ya...

this is something that I really believe in.

Our first performance is tomorrow night.

It'd be great if you were there.

"The country stylings ofJim Valenti and the Kit Shickers."

[Chuckling]

How much does this pay?

Oh, not very much at first, but...

See, we get a percent of the door, but it's gonna take us a little while...

to build up an audience.

Right, right. Build up an audience. What are you thinking?

This is your big business plan? This is it?

I've been working my ass off every day at a job I hate...

and this is your big idea?

We're behind on the mortgage. But I'm sure the mortgage company will calm down...

once they realize that all you got to do is build up an audience.

Have you even looked at those bills?

- Kyle, I'm sorry. - Dad, don't apologize.

That's not even what I want.

I know that when you lost your job as sheriff, that...

it... really screwed with your head...

and I have a lot of sympathy for that, I do...

but...

I'm not... I'm not the parent here.

And I can't keep our heads above water much longer.

So... all I'm saying is that...

You know what I'm saying.

Good night, Dad.

[Fly] How's he getting away with it?

Every square inch of the place is being taped 24-7.

Think, little man. Carl's got the master security card...

so he can turn the cameras on and off whenever he feels like it.

- What do you think he was stealing? - I didn't get a good look at it.

But they do all kinds of genetic research in that lab.

I bet it was the cancer vaccine. All the big corporations have one...

just sitting on the shelf, doing nothing.

They don't put it on the market because there's too much money in cancer treatment.

Same thing with Al DS, tuberculosis, Legionnaires' disease...

- measles, scabies. - Monk, are you wasted?

No. Maybe. Leave me alone.

You don't know what it's like working at Burger Hut.

"Fries, no fries, extra ketchup, no ketchup." I need an escape.

Look, if doesn't matter what's in the vial.

What matters is that Meta-Chem's head of security is stealing from the company.

We expose him, show the company that the man who fired us...

is the actual thief, and we've got a chance of getting our jobs back.

- How do we get the goods on Carl? - We catch him in the act.

- Oh, break in? - That sounds a bit too risky for a black man.

- What does Steve say? - He didn't return my phone calls.

- You guys can do what you want, but you can count me out. - I'm with Monk.

- Me too, Chico. - Do you guys know why we were fired?

Yeah, 'cause you took the Snapple, dude.

No. Who fires an entire shift over Snapple?

Nobody.

Carl needed to fire an entire security shift, so he could steal...

whatever it is he's stealing from the company.

We were easy targets. That's why we were fired.

Carl made us out to look like incompetent fools...

and that's what the world's gonna think of us if we don't do something about it.

Used to be I didn't care about that.

Turns out I do.

So, yeah, we stole the Snapple.

But you know what? We did our jobs well.

And that's why I say we have no choice here but to screw Carl.

All right. I'm with you. Let's screw Carl.

- I'm there. - Screw Carl, man.

So, what's the plan?

[Michael] Ever since he fired us, Carl's been working the nights all alone.

The longer he delays hiring a new crew, the more freedom he has.

But the truth is, one man can't watch everything.

Now, the trick will be to make him think that everything is right on schedule...

that nothing has changed...

when in reality, everything has changed.

He's not alone tonight.

Tonight he's got the entire graveyard shift to deal with.

Got ya, chump.

Uh, problem, dude.

Well, hurry up and fix it, man.

[Ringing]

- Hello? - This is Sheriff Hanson.

We received a signal that the security system had been tampered with.

Nope. Everything's okay here.

- What's the password today? - Password?

[Creaking]

[Creaking]

[Coughing]

Hey, Carl.

Gweerin, what the hell are you doing?

It's Guerin. I just thought I'd drop in.

You know, I wonder if the police are gonna think you're so funny.

Go ahead and call 'em. I have a nice videotape to show 'em.

What are you talking about?

I got you breaking into the lab, stealing a sample and passing it off to the janitors.

[Phone Beeps]

Well, that's too bad.

If you had said that it was gonna be just your word against mine, I could have just...

thrown the cuffs on you and called the cops.

- I guess it's not gonna be that simple. - [Trigger Cocks]

Where is that videotape?

- You've got to think about what you're doin', Carl. - I know exactly what I'm doing.

I'm confronting an intruder in the middle of the night.

And fearing for my own safety and believing the intruder to be armed...

I drew my weapon, and I was forced to shoot him.

- I'm not alone, you know. I got help. - I don't think so.

I think you are here alone, and I think you're gonna tell me where that videotape is now!

Okay, okay, okay. I'll tell you.

Okay, the tape...

The tape is in...

[Hanson] Now, what I want you to do right now...

is put the gun down nice and slow.

Good. Now...

we're all gonna take a trip down to the station.

Before we do that...

there's a videotape you should see.

Well, boys, if this is all you got, it ain't much.

Let me take a look at that.

These clowns are disgruntled former employees who broke in and stole company property.

- Uh, you know what? I think I got it. - Hey, how'd you do that?

I used to work in a video store.

- I'm not gonna say anything without an attorney. - [Michael] Don't worry, Carl.

- We'll let management know what happened. - [Guys Chuckling]

I'm gonna need statements from you guys, but we shouldn't leave this plant unguarded all night.

No problem. We'll finish our shift, come down to the station.

Fine. See you in the morning. You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court oflaw.

- [All] Yeah! - It worked, huh? It worked! It worked!

So, what is this?

No. Max, no.

[Max] Trust me. Trust me.

Don't you want someone who can make all your dreams come true?

Yeah, I guess I do.

Then come on, Lois. Let's go.

♪♪ [Guitar Tuning Up]

Good evening, ladies and gentleman. I'm Jim Valenti...

and we are the Kit Shickers.

- Are you 21? - Does it matter in here?

All that matters in here is paying rent on that barstool.

Just-Just gimme a Coke.

- I may need that beer after all. - [Valenti] One, two, one!

♪♪ [Country]

♪♪ [Singing]

[Patrons Clapping In Time]

♪♪ [Fades]

That was just amazing. You know, it was so amazing.

You did say that, like, a dozen times.

But did I say, uh, this?

Or, uh, that?

Or, you know...

I'm sure I didn't say this.

Well, you do have a way with words.

I'd invite you to come upstairs, but...

But if your dad caught us...

- Yeah. Mm-mmm. - [Both Chuckling]

Good night.

Good night.

Did you have fun? Where you been?

I'm asking you, man to man, where you took my daughter in the middle of the night.

We went to the desert.

We didn't do anything wrong.

It's wrong for you to see her at all.

You know that.

I'm sorry.

I love her.

I don't give a damn about your love.

Because of you, my daughter was arrested for armed robbery.

She could have been killed! Did you ever think about that?

Tell me you're not dangerous, Max.

Tell me that being with you doesn't put my little girl's life in jeopardy.

Yeah. That's what I thought.

So now this is gonna stop.

It's gonna stop right now.

And you are never to see Liz again.

And if you do...

if I find out that you so much as sat next to her in class...

she'll be on the next plane to Vermont.

Vermont?

The Winnaman Academy. It's an all-girls boarding school...

and her mother and I filled out all the paperwork, and the application was accepted.

So all I've got to do is write a check...

and put Liz on the next plane.

You would do that?

- You would do that just to... - Just to keep her away from you. Yes, I would.

And I will.

Good-bye, Max.

[Doorbell Ringing]

Got your job back.

- What? - Yeah, we broke into Meta-Chem...

and we nailed Carl for stealing stuff.

- He's in jail. - Wait. Slow down. You broke in?

Yeah, found out he was a crook, and we nailed him for it.

I mean, not just me. Everyone. George, Monk, Fly.

You could've gotten arrested. Why did you do that?

I don't know.

I figured it's my first real job.

I'm starting my life, and...

you know, I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot.

I'm not sure whether to say thank you...

or tell you you're a real idiot for doing something so risky.

Say thank you.

Thank you, Michael. This means a lot to me.

And, uh, you know, to my family.

No problem.

Hey, listen, uh, maybe we could hang sometime.

- You know, after work. - Sure.

You're a crazy bastard, you know that?

- Welcome to my world. - [Chuckles] Ripped By mstoll