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1
00:00:02,841 --> 00:00:06,179
So I told the haberdasher,
"You are not going to pawn off
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00:00:06,279 --> 00:00:08,381
last season's grosgrain on me."
3
00:00:08,481 --> 00:00:10,015
And guess what I did next.
4
00:00:10,116 --> 00:00:13,352
Oh, I bet you said something
a little bit cutting.
5
00:00:13,452 --> 00:00:15,354
I did. I did indeed.
6
00:00:15,454 --> 00:00:16,822
I told him where he could shove
7
00:00:16,922 --> 00:00:19,492
his heinous
autumnal pumpkin ribbon.
8
00:00:19,592 --> 00:00:21,460
Where the sun don't shine.
9
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,229
In the butt, right?
10
00:00:25,398 --> 00:00:28,067
Oh, Carly,
I so enjoy our little chats.
11
00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:30,136
-Aw, thanks. Me too.
-Aw, thanks. Me too.
12
00:00:33,106 --> 00:00:34,940
How could you...
13
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,544
G2G! Bye, brother!
14
00:00:39,645 --> 00:00:41,080
* I know *
15
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,715
* You see *
16
00:00:42,815 --> 00:00:44,883
* Somehow the world
will change for me *
17
00:00:44,983 --> 00:00:47,953
* And be so wonderful *
18
00:00:48,053 --> 00:00:51,724
* So wake up
the members of my nation *
19
00:00:51,824 --> 00:00:53,926
* It's your time to be *
20
00:00:54,026 --> 00:00:56,962
* There's no chance
unless you take one *
21
00:00:57,062 --> 00:00:59,665
* And the time to see
the brighter side *
22
00:00:59,765 --> 00:01:02,935
* Of every situation *
23
00:01:03,035 --> 00:01:04,902
* Some things are meant to be *
24
00:01:05,003 --> 00:01:08,507
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *
25
00:01:11,610 --> 00:01:13,879
Who am I? Where am I?
26
00:01:13,979 --> 00:01:15,381
What am I?
27
00:01:15,481 --> 00:01:17,416
Carly. Apartment.
28
00:01:17,516 --> 00:01:18,451
Girl.
29
00:01:18,550 --> 00:01:19,852
Nailed it.
30
00:01:20,619 --> 00:01:22,155
Ho-ho, babe!
31
00:01:22,255 --> 00:01:24,857
I got your texts asking me
to explain technology.
32
00:01:24,957 --> 00:01:27,260
I am so flattered,
I dropped everything.
33
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,595
Millicent can take the bus.
34
00:01:29,695 --> 00:01:33,065
God, it's hot when you ignore
your priorities for me.
35
00:01:34,167 --> 00:01:35,434
I took the bus.
36
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:36,969
It was faster,
better for the environment
37
00:01:37,069 --> 00:01:40,373
and I didn't have to make
small talk with the driver.
38
00:01:41,174 --> 00:01:42,107
Win-win!
39
00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:43,909
Now, from your texts,
40
00:01:44,008 --> 00:01:46,912
it sounds like Carly
is the victim
41
00:01:47,012 --> 00:01:48,447
of a deepfake.
42
00:01:48,547 --> 00:01:50,949
Oh. The guy who turned in Nixon?
43
00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:52,218
No.
44
00:01:52,318 --> 00:01:53,651
Right?
45
00:01:53,752 --> 00:01:56,855
A deepfake comes
from deep learning technology,
46
00:01:56,955 --> 00:01:59,157
a type of A.I.
that creates algorithms
47
00:01:59,258 --> 00:02:00,659
to do things like swap faces
48
00:02:00,759 --> 00:02:03,562
to make realistic-looking
fake media.
49
00:02:04,630 --> 00:02:05,431
Computers.
50
00:02:05,531 --> 00:02:07,032
-Oh!
-Ah.
51
00:02:08,032 --> 00:02:09,368
Millicent!
52
00:02:09,468 --> 00:02:11,404
I wrote one of my signature
instructional tunes.
53
00:02:11,504 --> 00:02:13,406
I know.
54
00:02:13,506 --> 00:02:14,673
I kinda like those songs.
55
00:02:14,773 --> 00:02:16,342
You're a regular Kidz Bop.
56
00:02:16,442 --> 00:02:17,876
I just hope this doesn't mess
57
00:02:17,976 --> 00:02:19,978
with your new product
that you had me stock up on.
58
00:02:20,078 --> 00:02:22,648
* "D" is for your doppelganger
out in cyberspace... *
59
00:02:22,748 --> 00:02:24,683
Babe, I love you, but shut up.
60
00:02:24,783 --> 00:02:27,084
Wait, what new product?
61
00:02:27,186 --> 00:02:28,954
This new product!
62
00:02:29,054 --> 00:02:30,489
Tastes Famiglia!
63
00:02:30,589 --> 00:02:34,693
The best pasta-based meat
alternative you've never tried.
64
00:02:34,793 --> 00:02:36,395
I never posed for this.
65
00:02:36,495 --> 00:02:39,665
But is that what I look like
when I shush people?
66
00:02:40,533 --> 00:02:43,969
Nah, it's usually more like,
"Be quiet. Ugh."
67
00:02:44,069 --> 00:02:45,638
Wow.
68
00:02:45,738 --> 00:02:47,940
That was spot-on.
69
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,173
Not.
70
00:02:50,243 --> 00:02:52,545
"Carly Shay says,
'Tastes Famiglia mimics
71
00:02:52,645 --> 00:02:53,879
"'the sturdiness of meat
72
00:02:53,979 --> 00:02:56,949
with the plush mouthfeel
of pasta.'"
73
00:02:57,048 --> 00:02:58,317
"Mouthfeel"? Ugh.
74
00:02:58,417 --> 00:02:59,885
You disgust me.
75
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:04,290
Guys, this...
obviously isn't me.
76
00:03:04,390 --> 00:03:06,225
I use napkins.
77
00:03:06,325 --> 00:03:07,893
Oh, my God.
78
00:03:07,993 --> 00:03:12,197
Someone is using fake me
to sell fake meat.
79
00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:13,532
This is a crime.
80
00:03:13,632 --> 00:03:15,801
-Maybe we should call the cops?
-Yeah.
81
00:03:18,771 --> 00:03:20,273
Oh, you're serious?
82
00:03:20,373 --> 00:03:21,840
Of course he is.
83
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,343
* When the situation's
not that fun *
84
00:03:24,443 --> 00:03:27,946
* Just pick up a phone,
dial 911. *
85
00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:30,583
Remember when someone
in my comments threatened
86
00:03:30,683 --> 00:03:33,051
to "find me and wear me"?
87
00:03:33,151 --> 00:03:34,887
-Yeah, but that was...
-Not done.
88
00:03:34,987 --> 00:03:37,155
The cops said it didn't count
89
00:03:37,256 --> 00:03:39,157
because it happened in my phone.
90
00:03:39,258 --> 00:03:40,559
But surely...
91
00:03:40,659 --> 00:03:41,660
Still going.
92
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,596
Then he texted me, "Carly Shay,
93
00:03:43,696 --> 00:03:46,298
I'm coming to get you
at the Bushwell."
94
00:03:46,399 --> 00:03:48,233
And the police said-- quote--
95
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:51,136
"This could be about anyone."
96
00:03:51,236 --> 00:03:53,606
Look, I know this sucks,
97
00:03:53,706 --> 00:03:55,341
but, like I always tell
Millicent...
98
00:03:55,441 --> 00:03:57,343
* When life
gives you lemons... *
99
00:03:57,443 --> 00:03:59,945
Be quiet! Ugh.
100
00:04:01,314 --> 00:04:02,681
Hey, Meat-stagroupies.
101
00:04:02,781 --> 00:04:05,351
I'm here at Shay What?!
to try...
102
00:04:05,451 --> 00:04:06,919
Tastes Famiglia,
103
00:04:07,019 --> 00:04:10,956
the best pasta-based meat
alternative I've never tried.
104
00:04:23,336 --> 00:04:24,637
You!
105
00:04:27,506 --> 00:04:29,074
Tastes Famiglia is blowing up,
106
00:04:29,174 --> 00:04:32,110
but now Shay What?! customers
are throwing up.
107
00:04:32,210 --> 00:04:33,579
#iBlameCarly.
108
00:04:33,679 --> 00:04:35,848
#RideTheBus.
109
00:04:35,948 --> 00:04:37,483
So,
110
00:04:37,583 --> 00:04:39,485
you got a little ditty
for this one?
111
00:04:39,585 --> 00:04:41,119
I do not.
112
00:04:44,523 --> 00:04:47,159
"#iBlameCarly"?
113
00:04:47,259 --> 00:04:48,961
"#RideTheBus"?
114
00:04:49,061 --> 00:04:51,229
Man, Carly's going through it.
115
00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,565
Which one's Carly?
116
00:04:52,664 --> 00:04:53,732
The little girl?
117
00:04:53,832 --> 00:04:55,601
No, the one that I live with.
118
00:04:55,701 --> 00:04:57,302
You live with a child?
119
00:04:57,403 --> 00:04:59,805
She does love a bib
and a bedtime story.
120
00:05:01,006 --> 00:05:02,875
I'm so glad your bestie's
finally in town.
121
00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:05,043
I just hope you don't
love him more than me.
122
00:05:05,143 --> 00:05:06,979
Oh. Harper!
123
00:05:07,079 --> 00:05:08,847
I'm not ready
to make that decision.
124
00:05:08,947 --> 00:05:10,883
Oh!
125
00:05:10,983 --> 00:05:12,385
Do I look all right?
126
00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:14,653
Dimitri-Pascual used to work
the counter at Neiman's.
127
00:05:14,753 --> 00:05:15,921
Oh, he sold clothes?
128
00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:18,624
No. He just gave
his unsolicited opinions.
129
00:05:18,724 --> 00:05:19,958
And charged for them.
130
00:05:21,093 --> 00:05:23,128
Hey, girl, hey!
131
00:05:23,228 --> 00:05:24,497
DIMITRI-PASCUAL and TINSLEY:
Walk, walk,
132
00:05:24,597 --> 00:05:26,665
walk, walk, walk, pose!
133
00:05:28,634 --> 00:05:29,868
Ew.
134
00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:31,470
That'll be ten dollars.
135
00:05:31,570 --> 00:05:35,608
Harper, I want you to meet
my ride-or-die, Dimitri-Pascual.
136
00:05:35,708 --> 00:05:36,942
He's like Madonna.
137
00:05:37,042 --> 00:05:38,677
No. Last. Name.
138
00:05:38,777 --> 00:05:41,279
-Oh! Mwah. Mwah.
-Mwah. Mwah.
139
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:43,115
Mwah. Mwah.
140
00:05:43,215 --> 00:05:48,153
OMG, you are serving
disgusting, queen.
141
00:05:49,488 --> 00:05:51,490
I hope you catch
chlamydia from a koala.
142
00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:56,862
Does this man think
I have unsafe sex with koalas?
143
00:05:56,962 --> 00:05:59,231
- Absolutely not.
- It's a compliment.
144
00:05:59,331 --> 00:06:02,601
Dimitri-Pascual
loves marsupials.
145
00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:05,270
Zoology. Look it up,
you dumb whore.
146
00:06:05,938 --> 00:06:08,140
-It's a compliment!
-It's a compliment!
147
00:06:09,408 --> 00:06:10,909
Thank you for cooking.
148
00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:13,512
But this looks like it was
thrown up by an old person.
149
00:06:13,612 --> 00:06:14,713
Walk?
150
00:06:14,813 --> 00:06:15,814
Walk.
151
00:06:15,914 --> 00:06:16,815
Walk,
152
00:06:16,915 --> 00:06:19,051
walk, walk, walk, walk.
153
00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:23,722
You know who else
had no last name?!
154
00:06:23,822 --> 00:06:25,290
Satan.
155
00:06:30,563 --> 00:06:32,164
Good afternoon, Carly Nation.
156
00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:35,267
I interrupt your day
with terrible news.
157
00:06:35,367 --> 00:06:36,602
I, Carly Shay,
158
00:06:36,702 --> 00:06:38,604
am the victim of a deepfake.
159
00:06:38,704 --> 00:06:40,337
I'll let that sink in.
160
00:06:41,273 --> 00:06:44,710
Tastes Famiglia
is not endorsed by me.
161
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:45,944
Guys,
162
00:06:46,044 --> 00:06:47,913
Deepfake Carly wants
to join my live!
163
00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:49,682
Let her in
so you can confront her.
164
00:06:49,782 --> 00:06:51,984
And I can try
and tell 'em apart.
165
00:06:52,084 --> 00:06:53,418
Tell her I said hi.
166
00:06:54,019 --> 00:06:56,455
What? She may be a fraud,
but she's still my sister.
167
00:06:56,555 --> 00:06:58,156
My fraud sister.
168
00:06:58,256 --> 00:07:00,025
My fister!
169
00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:06,131
Hello, Deepfake Carly.
170
00:07:06,231 --> 00:07:08,867
Looks like you finally decided
to show my face.
171
00:07:08,967 --> 00:07:11,303
Oh, Carly, I'm the real Carly.
172
00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:14,406
And I, Carly,
have nothing to hide.
173
00:07:14,507 --> 00:07:16,374
You're the charlatan.
174
00:07:16,475 --> 00:07:19,745
God, she always uses
the coolest words.
175
00:07:19,845 --> 00:07:21,480
Two of them.
I don't want it
176
00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:23,348
and yet I can't look away.
177
00:07:24,282 --> 00:07:25,884
I have cold, hard evidence
178
00:07:25,984 --> 00:07:29,154
that proves
I am the one true Carly Shay.
179
00:07:29,254 --> 00:07:33,325
To begin, I'll reveal something
only the real Carly would know.
180
00:07:33,425 --> 00:07:34,993
My first celebrity crush
181
00:07:35,093 --> 00:07:38,196
was Foghorn Leghorn.
182
00:07:38,296 --> 00:07:39,832
What? No.
183
00:07:39,932 --> 00:07:44,402
I never had lustful yearnings
for a shapely cartoon rooster!
184
00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:46,505
Shapely?
185
00:07:46,605 --> 00:07:47,906
And to prove it,
186
00:07:48,006 --> 00:07:51,009
I'd like to share
some of my Fog-Leg erotica.
187
00:07:53,278 --> 00:07:55,413
"It was a quiet night
in the henhouse when..."
188
00:07:55,514 --> 00:07:56,481
Bye!
189
00:07:56,582 --> 00:07:58,517
Who would do this to me?
190
00:07:58,617 --> 00:08:00,385
Everybody likes me.
191
00:08:00,485 --> 00:08:01,687
Except for Lewbert.
192
00:08:01,787 --> 00:08:03,789
And Ms. Briggs,
Wade Collins, Griffin...
193
00:08:03,889 --> 00:08:06,491
Kyoko and Yuki,
all the Pet-ographers...
194
00:08:06,592 --> 00:08:08,527
Wes, Beau, me.
195
00:08:08,627 --> 00:08:10,328
Should I just go get my binder?
196
00:08:10,428 --> 00:08:11,730
Okay, fine.
197
00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:14,767
I guess a few people
have minor qualms with me.
198
00:08:14,867 --> 00:08:16,001
But...
199
00:08:16,101 --> 00:08:17,870
who would go
to all this trouble?
200
00:08:17,970 --> 00:08:19,738
I mean, it's so elaborate.
201
00:08:19,837 --> 00:08:22,374
It's so evil. It's so...
202
00:08:22,474 --> 00:08:24,777
-Nevel Papperman!
-Mayor Pete Buttigieg!
203
00:08:24,877 --> 00:08:26,478
Nevel Papperman.
204
00:08:33,318 --> 00:08:35,888
I can't believe Nevel invited us
205
00:08:35,987 --> 00:08:39,024
to an evil lair
with no street parking.
206
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:42,093
Why is there so much cured meat?
207
00:08:42,193 --> 00:08:43,895
Because he's a thoughtful host?
208
00:08:46,198 --> 00:08:48,500
Well, well, well.
209
00:08:48,601 --> 00:08:50,969
Carly Shay et al.
210
00:08:51,069 --> 00:08:53,338
Allow me to explain.
211
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,808
There have been two great loves
212
00:08:55,908 --> 00:08:57,509
of my life:
213
00:08:57,610 --> 00:08:59,612
my beloved wife Prunella
214
00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:02,047
and The Godfather,
215
00:09:02,147 --> 00:09:03,415
a film...
216
00:09:03,515 --> 00:09:05,550
I have never seen.
217
00:09:06,518 --> 00:09:08,253
Such a fun vibe though.
218
00:09:08,353 --> 00:09:09,387
Start with the third one.
219
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:11,624
The first two are garbage.
220
00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:13,291
Carly Shay!
221
00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:14,359
Hi!
222
00:09:14,459 --> 00:09:15,861
Oh, my God!
223
00:09:15,961 --> 00:09:17,996
I haven't seen you
since you were my bridesmaid.
224
00:09:18,096 --> 00:09:18,997
Isn't that crazy?
225
00:09:19,097 --> 00:09:20,398
I miss you so much!
226
00:09:20,498 --> 00:09:22,668
How have you been, Mama?
227
00:09:23,535 --> 00:09:24,970
Not great, Prunella.
228
00:09:25,971 --> 00:09:28,941
Nevel, you need to stop this.
229
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:30,508
People are getting sick.
230
00:09:30,609 --> 00:09:33,612
More importantly,
my restaurant got shut down!
231
00:09:33,712 --> 00:09:35,013
For two hours!
232
00:09:35,113 --> 00:09:37,349
Is this all because
I ruined your wedding?
233
00:09:37,449 --> 00:09:38,383
Ruined?
234
00:09:38,483 --> 00:09:39,952
I thought our wedding was great.
235
00:09:40,052 --> 00:09:43,055
I seem to remember one
very handsome blond bombshell
236
00:09:43,155 --> 00:09:46,258
who proved to be
quite agile at the limbo.
237
00:09:46,358 --> 00:09:48,627
It's in the hips.
238
00:09:50,128 --> 00:09:52,798
But you failed to give us a gift
within one year's time.
239
00:09:52,898 --> 00:09:55,934
And, per Emily Post,
you are punished.
240
00:09:56,702 --> 00:09:59,037
Wait. Let me get this straight.
241
00:09:59,137 --> 00:10:01,740
So you manufactured
a toxic vegan product,
242
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,909
plastered my face all over it
243
00:10:04,009 --> 00:10:05,911
and then deepfaked me
to get my brother to sell it,
244
00:10:06,011 --> 00:10:08,513
all because you had to buy
your own freakin' KitchenAid?
245
00:10:08,613 --> 00:10:09,815
Ooh!
What color did you guys get?
246
00:10:09,915 --> 00:10:11,616
-Oh. Rose gold.
-That is so classy.
247
00:10:11,717 --> 00:10:13,886
-Did you get
the pasta attachments?
-Oh, my God, did you make
248
00:10:13,986 --> 00:10:16,121
-this sausage
with the meat grinder?
-Guys!
249
00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:19,958
Look, this is ridiculous.
250
00:10:20,058 --> 00:10:22,961
But I'll get you something if
it means you'll leave me alone.
251
00:10:23,061 --> 00:10:26,631
Something? Carly,
you can't go off-registry.
252
00:10:26,732 --> 00:10:29,167
Society has rules.
253
00:10:30,168 --> 00:10:32,204
Fine. What's left?
254
00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:33,706
Oh, my God.
255
00:10:33,806 --> 00:10:36,241
A "Mess with Carly" fund?
256
00:10:36,975 --> 00:10:39,745
Some couples do honey funds,
but we honeymooned
257
00:10:39,845 --> 00:10:43,315
at Grandpappa Papperman's
palatial Polynesian palapa.
258
00:10:43,415 --> 00:10:46,819
So we launched a "Mess
with Carly" fund instead.
259
00:10:46,919 --> 00:10:48,186
You see,
260
00:10:48,286 --> 00:10:49,654
when this all began,
261
00:10:49,755 --> 00:10:52,124
it was my love's elaborate
scheme to exact revenge.
262
00:10:52,224 --> 00:10:53,692
But then we realized
we were having
263
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,393
the best sex of our lives,
264
00:10:55,493 --> 00:10:57,329
and now it's just our thing.
265
00:10:58,230 --> 00:10:59,998
Did anyone get you guys
a melon baller?
266
00:11:00,098 --> 00:11:01,566
What I wouldn't give
to wrap this
267
00:11:01,666 --> 00:11:03,936
around a fresh hunk
of cantaloupe right now.
268
00:11:04,036 --> 00:11:07,305
We used the Carly fund
to buy the rancid pork
269
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,107
in Tastes Famiglia.
270
00:11:09,207 --> 00:11:10,342
Great price, too.
271
00:11:10,442 --> 00:11:12,845
They were practically
throwing it away.
272
00:11:13,879 --> 00:11:15,981
Did you say "rancid pork?"
273
00:11:16,081 --> 00:11:17,716
-Uh-huh.
-Uh-huh.
274
00:11:19,084 --> 00:11:20,385
Enough of this.
275
00:11:20,485 --> 00:11:23,555
There is nothing you can do
to get us to stop.
276
00:11:23,655 --> 00:11:26,291
Nothing!
277
00:11:29,294 --> 00:11:32,664
Pruney, your evil laugh
is getting so sinister.
278
00:11:32,765 --> 00:11:35,033
Oh. I learned from the best.
279
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:38,670
If there's nothing I can do
to stop you,
280
00:11:38,771 --> 00:11:40,705
then why did you make us
come all the way down here?
281
00:11:40,806 --> 00:11:44,843
'Cause seeing you squirm
is really doing it for us.
282
00:11:52,384 --> 00:11:53,585
Spencer, why are you laughing?
283
00:11:53,685 --> 00:11:55,888
I'm very uncomfortable!
284
00:11:58,323 --> 00:12:00,926
So, during orientation
of freshman year,
285
00:12:01,026 --> 00:12:03,561
I threw an epic rager
in her room,
286
00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:05,130
and when the campus cops came,
287
00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,532
I told them that
the alcohol was Tinsley's,
288
00:12:07,632 --> 00:12:10,535
and this delinquent slut
got put in front
289
00:12:10,635 --> 00:12:12,037
of the disciplinary committee.
290
00:12:13,271 --> 00:12:14,639
And you thought,
291
00:12:14,739 --> 00:12:17,442
"This is a person
I want to be friends with."
292
00:12:17,542 --> 00:12:19,144
No, no, no, it was funny.
293
00:12:19,244 --> 00:12:21,479
Daddy got LMFAO
to speak at graduation,
294
00:12:21,579 --> 00:12:23,415
and it all went away.
295
00:12:23,515 --> 00:12:24,649
Well, if you had
done that to me,
296
00:12:24,749 --> 00:12:26,919
you'd have graduated
to the cemetery.
297
00:12:27,953 --> 00:12:29,955
I'm gonna go grab another drink.
298
00:12:30,055 --> 00:12:32,024
But you still have so much left.
299
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,662
Mm. Not anymore.
300
00:12:37,762 --> 00:12:39,231
I'll keep you company.
301
00:12:39,331 --> 00:12:41,633
If I said I was
going to pee instead,
302
00:12:41,733 --> 00:12:44,136
-would that stop you?
-Nope.
303
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:48,240
So, Dimitri-Pascual.
304
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:49,674
-Mm-hmm.
-Two first names.
305
00:12:49,774 --> 00:12:52,110
Got to be a story there.
306
00:12:52,210 --> 00:12:54,579
Mmm, the story is:
I'm gonna kill you.
307
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:55,948
The end.
308
00:12:56,048 --> 00:12:59,417
Feels a little light
in the middle.
309
00:12:59,517 --> 00:13:01,086
You're kidding, right?
310
00:13:01,186 --> 00:13:02,520
I'm not.
311
00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:05,057
You see, when Tinsley's single,
312
00:13:05,157 --> 00:13:07,893
she spoils me rotten like
the little princeling that I am.
313
00:13:07,993 --> 00:13:09,161
I'm like her child
314
00:13:09,261 --> 00:13:12,230
and her boyfriend
all rolled into one.
315
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,832
Well, I'm her girlfriend,
316
00:13:13,932 --> 00:13:15,733
and our dynamic is normal,
317
00:13:15,834 --> 00:13:18,070
so you and I need to coexist.
318
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:20,839
Oh, I don't coexist with anyone.
319
00:13:20,939 --> 00:13:23,308
Just ask Cherry Jones.
320
00:13:27,913 --> 00:13:31,083
Spencer's cool revenge
idea number 48:
321
00:13:31,183 --> 00:13:34,619
I marry Nevel's mother
and put him up for adoption.
322
00:13:34,719 --> 00:13:36,588
No need to get
family courts involved.
323
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:37,923
They're busy enough.
324
00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:40,125
Spencer's cool revenge
idea number 49:
325
00:13:40,225 --> 00:13:43,295
We fill Nevel's car
with Livestrong bracelets.
326
00:13:43,395 --> 00:13:45,597
How many Livestrong bracelets
did you buy?
327
00:13:45,697 --> 00:13:47,900
I thought I was helping.
328
00:13:49,101 --> 00:13:51,136
Look, Nevel
and Prunella are just
329
00:13:51,236 --> 00:13:52,437
trying to get a rise out of me,
330
00:13:52,537 --> 00:13:53,838
so I'm ignoring them
331
00:13:53,939 --> 00:13:55,707
and letting the chips
fall where they may.
332
00:13:55,807 --> 00:13:58,143
Fall, chips, fall.
333
00:13:58,243 --> 00:14:01,579
Ooh, Carly.
You got to see this live.
334
00:14:02,414 --> 00:14:05,117
Looking for a cure to solve
all your ailments?
335
00:14:05,217 --> 00:14:08,153
Then I, Freddie Benson,
have the answer for you.
336
00:14:08,253 --> 00:14:09,621
Tastes Famiglia.
337
00:14:09,721 --> 00:14:11,990
Endorsed by me, Freddie Benson.
338
00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:14,326
Thank God I never
took his last name.
339
00:14:15,227 --> 00:14:18,463
If you lack bladder control--
and I know I do--
340
00:14:18,563 --> 00:14:20,165
bang! Tastes Famiglia.
341
00:14:20,265 --> 00:14:23,835
And if you have
head-to-toe dry skin...
342
00:14:23,936 --> 00:14:25,570
-And there goes his shirt.
-I know I do.
343
00:14:25,670 --> 00:14:28,506
Wow, he is surprisingly jacked.
344
00:14:28,606 --> 00:14:31,910
* D is for your doppelganger
out in cyberspace *
345
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:34,312
* "E" is for... *
Ew, that's me!
346
00:14:34,412 --> 00:14:36,614
Oh yeah, baby,
347
00:14:36,714 --> 00:14:38,951
that's nice.
348
00:14:40,418 --> 00:14:43,288
Okay, obviously that
is also a deepfake.
349
00:14:43,388 --> 00:14:46,024
But I do love what
they did with my torso.
350
00:14:46,124 --> 00:14:47,425
Aah!
351
00:14:47,525 --> 00:14:49,494
Game over, bitch.
352
00:14:50,428 --> 00:14:51,463
Oh, I'm sorry, Millicent.
353
00:14:51,563 --> 00:14:52,965
That wasn't to you.
354
00:15:00,338 --> 00:15:02,307
First they came for me,
355
00:15:02,407 --> 00:15:03,608
I was fine.
356
00:15:03,708 --> 00:15:05,443
Then they came for my brother.
357
00:15:05,543 --> 00:15:07,612
-Also fine.
-Wha...
358
00:15:07,712 --> 00:15:09,614
But now they come for my man?
359
00:15:09,714 --> 00:15:12,750
My sweet, defenseless
little man?
360
00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:14,519
I'm a yellow belt.
361
00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:17,555
Hear my battle cry!
362
00:15:20,292 --> 00:15:21,493
Here's the plan.
363
00:15:21,593 --> 00:15:23,028
We'll surround them
at the warehouse.
364
00:15:23,128 --> 00:15:24,529
Spencer, at this point,
365
00:15:24,629 --> 00:15:26,698
you'll already have wrangled
all the schnauzers.
366
00:15:26,798 --> 00:15:28,266
Where did you get this egg?
367
00:15:28,366 --> 00:15:30,868
It's very important that I know.
368
00:15:30,969 --> 00:15:33,038
Once we get them
out of the warehouse,
369
00:15:33,138 --> 00:15:36,041
Harper, you'll need to blindfold
and handcuff them immediately.
370
00:15:36,141 --> 00:15:38,276
Got it. The only handcuffs
I have are pink and fuzzy.
371
00:15:38,376 --> 00:15:39,344
Will that work?
372
00:15:39,444 --> 00:15:41,146
Can people get out of them?
373
00:15:41,246 --> 00:15:42,914
Only if they use
their safe word.
374
00:15:43,015 --> 00:15:44,849
Perfect.
Freddie,
375
00:15:44,949 --> 00:15:46,584
you'll knock 'em out
with chlorophyll.
376
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,354
I think you mean chloroform.
377
00:15:50,088 --> 00:15:52,324
I mean, what?
378
00:15:53,091 --> 00:15:55,994
Do we know anyone
with a really big trunk
379
00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:57,595
and access to a landfill?
380
00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,697
Okay, honey, I'm gonna
stop you right there.
381
00:15:59,797 --> 00:16:01,333
Oh, please, Freddie,
we could never fit
382
00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:02,767
a whole body into your Yaris.
383
00:16:02,867 --> 00:16:04,636
It barely gets off
the ground with groceries.
384
00:16:04,736 --> 00:16:07,405
While I love this aggro energy,
385
00:16:07,505 --> 00:16:09,907
we do not need to do
an actual murder.
386
00:16:10,008 --> 00:16:12,277
Okay?
We just...
387
00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:13,911
we just need to
get into their heads.
388
00:16:14,012 --> 00:16:15,347
And I think I know how.
389
00:16:15,447 --> 00:16:17,282
-With a drill?
-Yes!
390
00:16:19,017 --> 00:16:20,152
Okay,
391
00:16:20,252 --> 00:16:23,055
everyone needs
to take off the camo.
392
00:16:26,991 --> 00:16:30,562
Sorry I didn't exactly hit
it off with Dimitri-Pascual.
393
00:16:30,662 --> 00:16:32,530
But it's nice to have
some alone time again.
394
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:35,100
Why are you setting
a third plate?
395
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,668
I'm not.
396
00:16:37,435 --> 00:16:39,037
I didn't.
397
00:16:39,137 --> 00:16:40,438
I did.
398
00:16:42,307 --> 00:16:44,542
Hey, hags.
399
00:16:45,710 --> 00:16:48,213
Tinsley told me you got
a little bit in your feels,
400
00:16:48,313 --> 00:16:52,684
so I made you a "sorry you have
no sense of humor" casserole.
401
00:16:53,451 --> 00:16:55,187
I'm kidding.
402
00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,422
I'm laughing.
403
00:16:57,522 --> 00:17:00,392
I'm so glad you're both
open to try again.
404
00:17:00,492 --> 00:17:02,026
It means a lot to me.
405
00:17:02,127 --> 00:17:05,162
Oh, I would do anything for you,
my putrid little hellhound.
406
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:08,233
Why don't you make like
the kitchen wench you are
407
00:17:08,333 --> 00:17:09,767
and grab us some sporks?
408
00:17:13,604 --> 00:17:15,440
It's so sweet of you
409
00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:17,175
to spend your last night in town
410
00:17:17,275 --> 00:17:19,276
at my humble abode.
411
00:17:19,377 --> 00:17:22,447
Humble is the perfect
word for it.
412
00:17:24,482 --> 00:17:26,950
Oh!
413
00:17:28,353 --> 00:17:30,688
Ooh, "cheese-ay."
414
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:33,558
I thought you were vegan?
415
00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:35,260
Or is that just
one of your phases,
416
00:17:35,360 --> 00:17:37,929
like coffee enemas or clowning?
417
00:17:39,063 --> 00:17:41,666
It is vegan, but you won't
even be able to tell
418
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:45,770
because it has
the sturdiness of meat.
419
00:17:47,272 --> 00:17:48,440
Sturdiness?
420
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:52,210
And the plush
mouthfeel of pasta.
421
00:17:52,310 --> 00:17:53,945
Mouthfeel?
422
00:17:54,045 --> 00:17:56,047
Does it also cure
a variety of ailments?
423
00:17:56,148 --> 00:18:00,518
Well, why don't you take
a bite and find out?
424
00:18:00,618 --> 00:18:02,654
Well, in my culture,
425
00:18:02,754 --> 00:18:05,423
the chef always
takes the first bite.
426
00:18:05,523 --> 00:18:09,427
Well, in my nearby,
adjacent culture,
427
00:18:09,527 --> 00:18:11,596
the chef watches in delight
428
00:18:11,696 --> 00:18:14,299
as the host takes the first bite
429
00:18:14,399 --> 00:18:16,601
and swallows it.
430
00:18:17,469 --> 00:18:19,036
Since it's my home...
431
00:18:19,137 --> 00:18:20,472
I'm starving,
so if you don't mind,
432
00:18:20,572 --> 00:18:22,073
I'm just gonna dive right in.
433
00:18:22,174 --> 00:18:23,841
No!
434
00:18:23,941 --> 00:18:25,009
No!
435
00:18:29,347 --> 00:18:30,582
You can't eat that, Tinsley.
436
00:18:30,682 --> 00:18:33,117
It's Tastes Famiglia,
437
00:18:33,218 --> 00:18:35,086
so it's disgusting.
438
00:18:35,187 --> 00:18:36,388
Not in a good way.
439
00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:37,955
And it might murder you.
440
00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:40,158
Also not in a good way.
441
00:18:40,258 --> 00:18:42,394
Is this true?
442
00:18:42,494 --> 00:18:44,061
Are you trying to poison me?
443
00:18:44,162 --> 00:18:46,831
Tins, I would never.
444
00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,800
I was trying to poison her.
445
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:50,335
Oh!
446
00:18:52,837 --> 00:18:53,938
I'm gonna say something to you
447
00:18:54,038 --> 00:18:55,507
I should have said
a long time ago.
448
00:18:55,607 --> 00:18:56,841
You're not funny
449
00:18:56,941 --> 00:18:59,211
and I want you
out of my life, Andrew.
450
00:19:00,378 --> 00:19:01,713
But-but-but,
451
00:19:01,813 --> 00:19:03,381
without me, you're
just another rich bitch.
452
00:19:03,481 --> 00:19:04,449
-Oh.
-I am
453
00:19:04,549 --> 00:19:06,351
the Leah Remini to your J.Lo.
454
00:19:06,451 --> 00:19:09,554
I am the LeFou to your Gaston.
455
00:19:09,654 --> 00:19:10,888
Well, she's
a rich bitch in love.
456
00:19:10,988 --> 00:19:14,192
Rejection.
Look it up, you dumb whore.
457
00:19:15,293 --> 00:19:16,961
Oh, Harper.
458
00:19:17,061 --> 00:19:19,797
I should have trusted you
about Dimitri-Pascual.
459
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:21,999
I am gonna miss him, though.
460
00:19:22,099 --> 00:19:25,203
Who's gonna call me
a ghastly little troll now?
461
00:19:25,303 --> 00:19:27,405
I will.
462
00:19:27,505 --> 00:19:29,173
Because I'm your girlfriend.
463
00:19:29,274 --> 00:19:31,142
And our dynamic is normal.
464
00:19:33,745 --> 00:19:36,047
-What is it?
-I think I owe Cherry Jones
465
00:19:36,147 --> 00:19:38,216
a huge apology.
466
00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:43,388
We are the masterminds
behind Tastes Famiglia.
467
00:19:43,488 --> 00:19:47,559
I rue the day I ever ruined
Carly's credibility.
468
00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:48,860
Hey, that's my line.
469
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,228
Oh, my God,
but it's so fun to say.
470
00:19:50,328 --> 00:19:52,964
"Rue." Yeah, it is.
471
00:19:53,064 --> 00:19:56,701
In our defense,
messing with Carly et al
472
00:19:56,801 --> 00:19:59,271
really spiced up our sex life.
473
00:19:59,371 --> 00:20:00,772
Which we needed.
474
00:20:00,872 --> 00:20:03,475
I mean, I really just
lie there like a starfish.
475
00:20:03,575 --> 00:20:05,377
You'd think two evil geniuses
476
00:20:05,477 --> 00:20:07,512
would be dynamos in the sack.
477
00:20:07,612 --> 00:20:09,714
But you would be wrong.
478
00:20:09,814 --> 00:20:11,983
In conclusion,
479
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:13,251
we're bad at sex,
480
00:20:13,351 --> 00:20:15,420
and we're very sorry.
481
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,688
And cut.
482
00:20:16,788 --> 00:20:18,256
And gross.
483
00:20:19,357 --> 00:20:22,460
That is a wrap on iCarly's
first deepfake operation.
484
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:23,995
And our last, God willing.
485
00:20:24,095 --> 00:20:25,497
I'd actually love another take
486
00:20:25,597 --> 00:20:27,131
now that I've had a run at it.
487
00:20:28,199 --> 00:20:30,167
And now we wait.
488
00:20:31,336 --> 00:20:32,870
Ooh, that was quick.
489
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:35,072
Nevel says
they'll stop if we stop.
490
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,609
And also, he's very virile.
491
00:20:37,709 --> 00:20:39,811
Like a cobra.
492
00:20:39,911 --> 00:20:41,713
A cobra with a sex addiction.
493
00:20:42,814 --> 00:20:44,749
But only for his wife.
494
00:20:44,849 --> 00:20:48,019
Aw. Good for them.
495
00:20:51,222 --> 00:20:53,991
Pruney, no.
I can change.
496
00:20:54,091 --> 00:20:56,328
Or stay the same.
Whatever you want.
497
00:20:56,428 --> 00:20:58,596
I haven't really been listening.
498
00:20:58,696 --> 00:21:00,665
Messing with Carly
was all we had.
499
00:21:00,765 --> 00:21:01,966
Now that that's over,
500
00:21:02,066 --> 00:21:03,435
so are we.
501
00:21:03,535 --> 00:21:06,304
And I'm taking the KitchenAid.
502
00:21:06,404 --> 00:21:08,306
With the pasta attachment?
503
00:21:08,406 --> 00:21:10,041
How will I extrude?
504
00:21:11,108 --> 00:21:12,977
I mean, don't go.
I love you.
505
00:21:13,077 --> 00:21:14,346
Ugh!
506
00:21:17,048 --> 00:21:19,216
"Here's a wedding gift
to keep things spicy.
507
00:21:19,317 --> 00:21:20,752
"Do not contact me.
508
00:21:20,852 --> 00:21:22,720
Carly Shay."
509
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,021
What do you say--
510
00:21:24,121 --> 00:21:26,624
should we give it another shot?
511
00:21:27,825 --> 00:21:30,294
Let's get the limbo stick, baby.
512
00:22:04,962 --> 00:22:07,164
Ooh!
35006
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