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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,608 --> 00:00:14,481 ("It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" by Andy Williams playing) 2 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,285 (door opens) 3 00:00:16,318 --> 00:00:18,323 (indistinct arguing) 4 00:00:18,356 --> 00:00:19,458 DONNA: Come on, guys, stop! 5 00:00:19,491 --> 00:00:20,694 (door closes) 6 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:23,500 -MIKEY: Hey. -Hi. 7 00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:24,736 MIKEY: You okay, buddy? 8 00:00:24,769 --> 00:00:26,105 -Yeah. -MIKEY: Yeah? 9 00:00:26,472 --> 00:00:27,575 -SUGAR: Hmm. -Yeah. 10 00:00:32,652 --> 00:00:33,787 (sighs) 11 00:00:35,357 --> 00:00:37,695 -I love you, bear. -I love you, too, bear. 12 00:00:40,935 --> 00:00:43,340 Maybe just, like, 13 00:00:43,373 --> 00:00:45,176 like, don't do it to yourself? 14 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:49,552 (sighs) It's not like I'm trying to. 15 00:00:50,654 --> 00:00:53,493 But, you know, when you do that, it just kinda, like... 16 00:00:53,526 --> 00:00:55,230 does it to all of us? 17 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:56,900 -Michael. -Natalie. 18 00:00:58,403 --> 00:01:00,741 Just don't ask her. 19 00:01:01,943 --> 00:01:03,413 It's not like I wanna ask her. 20 00:01:03,446 --> 00:01:05,651 I know, I know, but it's that thing, you know. 21 00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:08,557 You ask somebody if they're okay, 22 00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:10,861 they immediately start thinking they're not acting okay... 23 00:01:11,596 --> 00:01:14,702 and that immediately makes them start not acting okay. 24 00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:19,345 No one can make anyone else act a certain way. 25 00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:20,547 (Mikey laughs) 26 00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:23,788 Okay. 27 00:01:23,821 --> 00:01:25,625 -Remember last year? -MIKEY: Hmm. 28 00:01:25,658 --> 00:01:27,595 -And the year before? -Yeah. 29 00:01:27,628 --> 00:01:28,697 So I'm not fucking crazy. 30 00:01:28,730 --> 00:01:30,768 Nobody thinks you're crazy. Nobody's saying that. 31 00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:31,636 Well, she is. 32 00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,472 Yeah, she's fuckin' out of her mind. 33 00:01:34,843 --> 00:01:37,514 And here I am, just fucking in the middle 34 00:01:37,548 --> 00:01:40,353 because you're you and Carmy's Carmy. 35 00:01:40,386 --> 00:01:43,861 MIKEY: Okay, so then, just, you know, let us handle it. 36 00:01:43,894 --> 00:01:45,798 -You won't handle it. -MIKEY: No, we won't. Exactly. 37 00:01:45,831 --> 00:01:46,900 That's my point. 38 00:01:46,933 --> 00:01:48,771 With her, not handling it, 39 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:50,541 it's the best way to handle it. 40 00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:52,912 I mean, where do you think she's at right now? 41 00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,417 What, like at a four? A five? 42 00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:56,787 She's not at a six, right? 43 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,389 Hmm. No. 44 00:01:58,924 --> 00:02:01,563 I've heard you ask her three times tonight if she's alright. 45 00:02:01,596 --> 00:02:03,834 You don't have to ask her every ten minutes if she's okay. 46 00:02:03,867 --> 00:02:04,936 That's not gonna help anything. 47 00:02:04,969 --> 00:02:06,272 Do you know how much I would love 48 00:02:06,305 --> 00:02:07,441 to feel like I didn't have to ask her? 49 00:02:07,474 --> 00:02:08,778 I bet you would love that very, very much. 50 00:02:08,811 --> 00:02:09,980 -Yes, a lot. -Yeah. Yeah. 51 00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:11,382 -I would love it a lot. -I'm sure. 52 00:02:11,415 --> 00:02:12,384 (indistinct chatter) 53 00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:13,519 Hey, you guys call me? 54 00:02:13,854 --> 00:02:15,858 No, I just said you're you. 55 00:02:15,891 --> 00:02:17,829 Hey, hey, Mikey, can you come inside and be you real quick? 56 00:02:17,862 --> 00:02:18,998 I don't know how to deal with these people. 57 00:02:19,031 --> 00:02:20,333 Yeah, I'll be right there. 58 00:02:20,366 --> 00:02:22,237 (indistinct arguing) 59 00:02:23,974 --> 00:02:25,343 (clears throat) Let me see. 60 00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:26,445 Thanks. 61 00:02:27,849 --> 00:02:29,953 -(Fak yelling indistinctly) -Yo. 62 00:02:29,986 --> 00:02:31,623 Is this some family shit I should know about? 63 00:02:31,656 --> 00:02:32,725 SUGAR: No, it is not. 64 00:02:32,758 --> 00:02:34,294 Give us a second, alright, cousin? 65 00:02:35,598 --> 00:02:36,532 RICHIE: Alright. 66 00:02:42,845 --> 00:02:44,414 Happy you're home, bear. 67 00:02:48,924 --> 00:02:50,393 Would it kill you to pick up the phone? 68 00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:53,934 Carm. 69 00:02:54,836 --> 00:02:56,438 I'm happy you're home. 70 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:00,848 Okay? 71 00:03:05,958 --> 00:03:07,962 I'm not gonna ask if she's okay. 72 00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:09,766 -That's good. -Yeah. 73 00:03:09,799 --> 00:03:11,870 Yeah. 74 00:03:11,903 --> 00:03:12,972 Carm, will you handle Mom? 75 00:03:13,005 --> 00:03:14,375 Yeah. I'll handle her. 76 00:03:14,408 --> 00:03:15,443 SUGAR: Mikey, them? 77 00:03:15,476 --> 00:03:16,546 I'm gonna handle 'em. 78 00:03:17,648 --> 00:03:19,251 Our Mother of Victory. 79 00:03:19,819 --> 00:03:20,888 Pray for us. 80 00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:24,595 ("All Alone on Christmas" by Darlene Love playing) 81 00:03:33,112 --> 00:03:35,450 Carol, What would you like me to do with this? 82 00:03:35,483 --> 00:03:36,687 Bend over and I'll show ya. 83 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:37,822 Well, it's fuckin' burning me. 84 00:03:37,855 --> 00:03:39,325 Hey, new person, take this. 85 00:03:39,358 --> 00:03:41,095 It's Steven, you met me a million times. 86 00:03:41,128 --> 00:03:42,732 Come on, Lee, you met him a million times. 87 00:03:42,765 --> 00:03:43,934 -Lee, I'm not touching it. -LEE: Jimmy! 88 00:03:43,967 --> 00:03:46,372 Tell, tell Carol to stop shouting at me. 89 00:03:46,405 --> 00:03:47,675 Bro, why are you yelling? 90 00:03:47,708 --> 00:03:48,911 You ever been burned with a fuckin' Dutch oven? 91 00:03:48,944 --> 00:03:49,846 Here, Sugar, take this. 92 00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:51,082 Fuck, I don't wanna take this. 93 00:03:51,115 --> 00:03:52,952 Oh, you're so tough, I'll lay you out. 94 00:03:52,985 --> 00:03:54,522 Hey, are you gonna lay me out? 95 00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:55,892 Is that, like, what you're gonna do? 96 00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,996 Enough. Way to handle them, Mikey. 97 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,002 ♪ I get a little lonely every year around this time ♪ 98 00:04:01,035 --> 00:04:04,709 ♪ The music plays all night in Little Italy ♪ 99 00:04:04,742 --> 00:04:08,884 ♪ The lights will be going up on old Rockafella's tree ♪ 100 00:04:09,418 --> 00:04:12,825 ♪ People window shoppin' on Fifth Avenue ♪ 101 00:04:12,858 --> 00:04:15,598 ♪ All I want for Christmas is you ♪ 102 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:17,735 ♪ I've gotta know ♪ 103 00:04:18,704 --> 00:04:22,745 ♪ Where do lonely hearts go? ♪ 104 00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:24,983 (vocalizing) 105 00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:27,054 ♪ Nobody ought to be ♪ 106 00:04:27,087 --> 00:04:29,959 ♪ All alone on Christmas ♪ 107 00:04:32,832 --> 00:04:35,737 ♪ Things are different since you've been here last ♪ 108 00:04:36,238 --> 00:04:39,713 ♪ Childhood dreaming is a thing of the past ♪ 109 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:40,715 I believe that I have the greatest 110 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,150 financial opportunity that you've ever heard. 111 00:04:42,183 --> 00:04:44,121 TED: Baseball cards are back. 112 00:04:44,154 --> 00:04:45,992 -I'm telling you, money. We're making cash... -FAK: We got a whole box. 113 00:04:46,025 --> 00:04:48,029 All we need is $500 to buy a box. 114 00:04:48,062 --> 00:04:50,467 My eBay is lit up. Notifications. Alerts. 115 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,469 (overlapping chatter) 116 00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:52,538 Can I stop you one second? 117 00:04:52,571 --> 00:04:53,674 -TED: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -FAK: Yes. 118 00:04:53,707 --> 00:04:54,910 How many fucking Faks are there? 119 00:04:54,943 --> 00:04:56,747 Well, there's Kenny and Sammy and Susan, 120 00:04:56,780 --> 00:04:58,116 and then Frank, Francie, 121 00:04:58,149 --> 00:04:59,586 -and then there's Doug. -TED: A good amount of us. 122 00:04:59,619 --> 00:05:00,955 -Gary. -A lot. Okay. Back to the pitch. 123 00:05:00,988 --> 00:05:02,792 Listen, no, back to the pitch. We got, we got, we got, 124 00:05:02,825 --> 00:05:03,961 we got Ken Griffey. 125 00:05:03,994 --> 00:05:05,063 FAK: There's Lenny Dykstra. 126 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,465 TED: We got, you know, Jay Buhner. 127 00:05:06,498 --> 00:05:08,002 We got Vance Law. 128 00:05:08,035 --> 00:05:09,471 -Oh, my God. -TED: Yeah. 129 00:05:09,504 --> 00:05:10,808 Tell me you got Mickey fuckin' Morandini. 130 00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:12,578 Of course! Of course we do. 131 00:05:12,611 --> 00:05:13,847 -They're all in the box! -(overlapping chatter) 132 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,483 But we need, we need $500. 133 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,620 -You've got Morandini? -FAK: $500. 134 00:05:16,653 --> 00:05:18,022 -Yeah! -TED: We've got Morandini. 135 00:05:18,055 --> 00:05:19,693 -We need $500. -TED: Copy and paste. 136 00:05:19,726 --> 00:05:22,699 To turn into $1,500 137 00:05:22,732 --> 00:05:24,134 -within a couple months. -TED: Couple months. 138 00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,136 -Time out. -TED: Yeah, yeah. 139 00:05:25,169 --> 00:05:26,707 Hold this so I can slap ya. 140 00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:28,443 Stupidest fuckin' idea I ever heard. 141 00:05:28,476 --> 00:05:30,848 Merry Christmas. 142 00:05:30,881 --> 00:05:32,919 -Do you think he's in? -Do you think he's in? 143 00:05:32,952 --> 00:05:34,589 Was that a business slap? 144 00:05:34,622 --> 00:05:36,158 BOTH: Yeah. 145 00:05:39,866 --> 00:05:41,837 ♪ Merry Christmas ♪ 146 00:05:41,870 --> 00:05:46,445 ♪ I don't want to fight tonight ♪ 147 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:49,953 -(ringing) -Ma. 148 00:05:49,986 --> 00:05:51,521 DONNA: Carmen. 149 00:05:51,956 --> 00:05:53,226 I'm spilling shit everywhere. 150 00:05:53,259 --> 00:05:54,829 And I'm behind on the lobster. 151 00:05:54,862 --> 00:05:55,864 Carmen, I have a question. 152 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,038 Is cousin Michelle's friend Steven, is he gay? 153 00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:00,440 CARMY: Is who gay? Ma. Ma, Ma, Ma. 154 00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:01,508 Why are you doing the seven fishes thing? 155 00:06:01,543 --> 00:06:02,545 -Nobody ever eats this shit. -DONNA: No, no, no. 156 00:06:02,578 --> 00:06:04,683 Steven, is he gay? I mean, he seems kinda gay. 157 00:06:04,716 --> 00:06:05,818 You know, he's arty and... 158 00:06:05,851 --> 00:06:06,820 I mean, I love him and everything, 159 00:06:06,853 --> 00:06:07,955 but he's gay, I think. 160 00:06:07,988 --> 00:06:08,924 And it's tradition. 161 00:06:08,957 --> 00:06:10,060 It's tradition that he's gay? 162 00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:12,064 DONNA: No. The seven fishes. 163 00:06:12,097 --> 00:06:13,232 What the fuck do you think I've been doing this 164 00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:14,736 since 4:00 this morning for? 165 00:06:14,769 --> 00:06:16,573 Okay. Ma, hey, how can I help? 166 00:06:16,606 --> 00:06:18,076 DONNA: Uh, you can fix the forks. 167 00:06:18,109 --> 00:06:20,881 Um, I just need some olives for the drinks. 168 00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,818 I'm not gonna touch nothing. 169 00:06:23,119 --> 00:06:26,025 Oh, my God. What smells so good? 170 00:06:26,058 --> 00:06:27,562 -Oh, my God. -DONNA: That'd be me. 171 00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:28,262 -CICERO: Is it you? -Check. 172 00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:29,264 Come here. 173 00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:30,868 -Oh, it is you. -(chuckles) 174 00:06:30,901 --> 00:06:32,037 -Hey. Hey. -How are you? 175 00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:33,741 -What's for dessert? -No, no, no, no. 176 00:06:33,774 --> 00:06:34,976 You brought the cake. 177 00:06:35,009 --> 00:06:36,112 Get the fuck out. 178 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,681 (mumbles) 179 00:06:39,251 --> 00:06:40,854 -MAN: Hey, there. -DONNA: Yeah. 180 00:06:42,157 --> 00:06:43,192 -Hey, Carmen. -CARMY: Yeah. 181 00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:44,194 DONNA: Stop giving me shit about it. 182 00:06:44,227 --> 00:06:45,564 CARMY: What? What? 183 00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:46,700 I'm just trying to do a nice thing, honey. 184 00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:48,704 Just-just stop, like, fucking with it. 185 00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:50,040 Alright. alright. Forget it. Yeah. -DONNA: Just do it. 186 00:06:50,073 --> 00:06:51,543 -Mrs. B, are our skateboards in here? -DONNA: No! 187 00:06:51,576 --> 00:06:52,545 No, no, no, no, no, no! 188 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,148 -Faks, out, out, out. -TED: What's up, Carm? 189 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,684 Michael said that our skateboards were in here. 190 00:06:55,717 --> 00:06:57,254 -How you doing, Ma? -Out, out. 191 00:06:57,287 --> 00:06:58,523 This is a delicate operation. 192 00:06:58,557 --> 00:07:00,093 Big Neil got us skateboards. 193 00:07:00,126 --> 00:07:02,064 You make me hot. You make me very hot. 194 00:07:02,097 --> 00:07:03,734 Do you think that we can sleepover-- 195 00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:05,070 There's no sleepovers at Christmas. What the fuck? 196 00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:05,938 FAK: No, we can sleepover. 197 00:07:05,972 --> 00:07:07,274 No, you can't sleepover on Christmas. 198 00:07:07,307 --> 00:07:08,577 -No. Mm-mmm. -FAK: No? No. 199 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:09,511 Big Neil got us skateboards. 200 00:07:09,545 --> 00:07:10,581 You know what? Shut up. 201 00:07:10,614 --> 00:07:12,017 -Michael! -Michael hid 'em. 202 00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,887 Hey, Michael. Get in here. Mike? 203 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,190 -FAK: Mike. -The Faks are asking me stupid things-- 204 00:07:15,223 --> 00:07:16,727 -Ma, are you good? -CARMY: Yeah, yeah, we're good. 205 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:17,695 -Ma, you-- -CARMY: Hey, hey, hey. 206 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,131 Can you, uh, can you grab some paper towels 207 00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:20,534 from the garage, Sug? 208 00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:22,070 (overlapping chatter) 209 00:07:22,103 --> 00:07:23,907 -Yo, Mike, what's up? -(chatter continues) 210 00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:24,975 -FAK: How you doing? -TED: What's up, Mike? 211 00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,847 -Yo, what's up, Mike? -You're like a grown man, 212 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,249 why are you looking for a fuckin' skateboard? 213 00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:29,552 -I got a little side hustle. -MIKEY: Do me a favor. 214 00:07:29,585 --> 00:07:30,921 Go get some ice from the garage. 215 00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:32,224 -On it. -DONNA: Okay. What was I doing? 216 00:07:32,257 --> 00:07:33,660 -Okay. -DONNA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 217 00:07:33,693 --> 00:07:34,728 Where's the cake? 218 00:07:34,762 --> 00:07:36,767 -Where's the cake? -It's defrosting, Ma, it's fine. 219 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,069 -MIKEY: Ma, why don't you let him help you? -Okay. Okay. 220 00:07:38,102 --> 00:07:39,238 MIKEY: It's all he fucking does. 221 00:07:39,271 --> 00:07:40,641 -He'd be great. -What was that? 222 00:07:40,674 --> 00:07:41,777 What was that? Like a, that was a shot or... 223 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:42,879 Mikey, he is helping me. Back off. 224 00:07:42,912 --> 00:07:43,914 -Is that a shot? -CARMY: What? Yeah. 225 00:07:43,947 --> 00:07:45,083 I'm the guy that does food. 226 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,152 You're the guy that what? You-you, uh... 227 00:07:46,185 --> 00:07:47,789 You start 100 different businesses 228 00:07:47,822 --> 00:07:49,024 and have zero follow-through. 229 00:07:49,058 --> 00:07:50,594 -DONNA: Carmen, I need you to check the branzino. -Wow. 230 00:07:50,627 --> 00:07:52,063 I feel like that was a shot, Carm. 231 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:53,734 Okay, this is why, this is why I didn't wanna come home. 232 00:07:53,767 --> 00:07:55,336 -This is why. -Fuck you. 233 00:07:55,369 --> 00:07:57,708 -What the fuck? What? -Why the fuck would you say that? 234 00:07:57,741 --> 00:07:59,211 It's fuckin' Christmas. Why would you say you didn't wanna come back? 235 00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:00,313 Whatever, okay? Whatever. 236 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,650 -MIKEY: Whatever. Okay. -(ringing) 237 00:08:01,683 --> 00:08:03,152 We're very happy you're home, Carm. 238 00:08:03,185 --> 00:08:04,889 -DONNA: Yes, we are. -We're all very fucking proud of you. 239 00:08:04,922 --> 00:08:06,827 -We all really fuckin' love you. -I'm not a fuckin' baby. 240 00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,764 Then stop being a fuckin' pussy and say the words. 241 00:08:08,797 --> 00:08:10,701 -Stop being a pussy. Just say the fuckin' words. -DONNA: Say the words. 242 00:08:10,734 --> 00:08:12,104 -Carmen, come on. -Just say the words. 243 00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:13,238 DONNA: Just say it. 244 00:08:15,209 --> 00:08:16,813 -I love you. -DONNA: (grunts) Ohh! 245 00:08:16,846 --> 00:08:18,984 -MIKEY: Thank you. Thank you. -DONNA: Thank you. 246 00:08:19,017 --> 00:08:20,988 -Thank you. -DONNA: Okay. 247 00:08:21,021 --> 00:08:22,758 So happy the bear's home. 248 00:08:22,791 --> 00:08:24,996 DONNA: Yes, I'm happy. Come here. I am happy. 249 00:08:25,029 --> 00:08:26,064 -Hi. Yeah. Okay. -DONNA: Happy, happy. 250 00:08:26,098 --> 00:08:28,102 -CARMY: Thank you. -You know, it's nice he's back. 251 00:08:28,135 --> 00:08:29,070 We get him only once a year. 252 00:08:29,104 --> 00:08:31,776 -CARMY: Mom. -DONNA: He's too fancy for us. 253 00:08:32,244 --> 00:08:33,847 Okay, Carmen, I need you to pay attention. 254 00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:35,918 -CARMY: Yeah, yeah. -Alright? No, come here. 255 00:08:35,951 --> 00:08:37,688 -CARMY: What? -So when that timer goes off... 256 00:08:37,721 --> 00:08:39,258 -Uh-huh. -...I need you to remember 257 00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:40,828 to put the Rockefellers in, 258 00:08:40,861 --> 00:08:43,366 um, and-and take out the artichokes, 259 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,702 which leaves an open oven. 260 00:08:44,735 --> 00:08:46,205 Stop doing something and just listen. 261 00:08:46,238 --> 00:08:47,608 CARMY: Okay. Alright, I hear you, I hear you. 262 00:08:47,641 --> 00:08:48,911 -What was I saying? -CARMY: What? What? 263 00:08:48,944 --> 00:08:50,848 We were saying we gotta free up one of the slots 264 00:08:50,881 --> 00:08:52,117 -in the oven, right? Yes. Okay. -DONNA: Right, oven slot. 265 00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:53,787 So then, we take the artichokes out. 266 00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:56,358 So then I need you to put the branzino on the top 267 00:08:56,391 --> 00:08:57,728 and let it broil and just get that 268 00:08:57,761 --> 00:08:59,231 nice little crispy bit on top. 269 00:08:59,264 --> 00:09:01,135 -Uh-huh. -And then I need to remember to set this timer back 270 00:09:01,168 --> 00:09:03,674 to two minutes to drop the lobsters back in. 271 00:09:03,707 --> 00:09:05,243 And then when that goes off, 272 00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:06,880 I need you to take the branzino out. 273 00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,984 And-and don't forget to stir the gravy. 274 00:09:09,017 --> 00:09:11,255 -Oh, my God. -Why? What do we got gravy for? 275 00:09:11,288 --> 00:09:13,125 Because nobody gets this shit. 276 00:09:13,158 --> 00:09:15,798 That was unpleasant. I threw up all over my sweater. 277 00:09:15,831 --> 00:09:16,933 Is it okay I borrowed your robe? 278 00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:18,737 -DONNA: Oh, of course. You know what? -I'm sorry. 279 00:09:18,770 --> 00:09:20,073 DONNA: It looks so pretty on you. You should keep it. 280 00:09:20,106 --> 00:09:21,810 -Oh, you're so sweet. -No, no, no. Seriously. 281 00:09:21,843 --> 00:09:23,045 -Hi, Carm. hi, hi. -CARMY: Hi, Tiff. 282 00:09:23,078 --> 00:09:24,214 -Hi. How are you? -How you doing? You okay? 283 00:09:24,247 --> 00:09:25,282 I mean, I'm puking everywhere. 284 00:09:25,316 --> 00:09:26,819 But I'm alright. I'm pregnant. Do you know this? 285 00:09:26,853 --> 00:09:29,024 -CARMY: Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. I know. -We're having a baby. Thank you. 286 00:09:29,057 --> 00:09:30,393 -She is not alright. -Why? 287 00:09:30,426 --> 00:09:31,863 -TIFF: What? I mean... -She is throwing up. 288 00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:34,201 Get her some Brioschi. I mean... You know what? 289 00:09:34,234 --> 00:09:35,905 Hey, Ri, Ri. 290 00:09:35,938 --> 00:09:37,675 -Get your fucking ass in here. -RICHIE: What? 291 00:09:37,708 --> 00:09:39,444 DONNA: Get Tiff some Brioschi right now. 292 00:09:39,477 --> 00:09:41,081 -Oh, my God. What's going on? -That's it, that's it, I got it. 293 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,383 -TIFF: How was Ireland? -Uh, Copenhagen. 294 00:09:42,416 --> 00:09:44,421 -TIFF: Oh, sorry. Where is Copenhagen? -Yeah. Sorry, sorry. 295 00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,824 -CARMY: Huh? -TIFF: Where's Copenhagen? 296 00:09:45,857 --> 00:09:46,792 RICHIE: Aunt Deedee, 297 00:09:46,826 --> 00:09:49,131 why are you screaming at me like a maniac? 298 00:09:49,164 --> 00:09:51,035 Why are you screaming at me like a maniac? 299 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:52,437 -DONNA: Stop tickling me! -RICHIE: Wh... (laughs) 300 00:09:52,470 --> 00:09:53,874 DONNA: Stop it right now! 301 00:09:53,907 --> 00:09:55,443 RICHIE: Why are you screaming like a maniac? 302 00:09:55,476 --> 00:09:57,214 -I'm right here. -You know. You know I'm really ticklish. 303 00:09:57,247 --> 00:09:58,182 -RICHIE: Alright, alright. -Stop. 304 00:09:58,215 --> 00:09:59,184 CARMY: Watch out. Watch out. 305 00:09:59,217 --> 00:10:01,388 -Richie. Jesus Christ. -She's okay. She's fine. 306 00:10:01,421 --> 00:10:02,959 -TIFF: How do you know I'm okay? -RICHIE: She's alright. 307 00:10:02,992 --> 00:10:04,394 -She's a little nauseous. -Be a gentleman 308 00:10:04,427 --> 00:10:05,630 -and take care of her. -She's a little bit nauseous. 309 00:10:05,664 --> 00:10:08,202 -Actually-- -What the hell do you have on your sleeve? 310 00:10:08,235 --> 00:10:10,440 -Don't worry about it. -Jesus, this is your nice sweater. I got it for you. 311 00:10:10,473 --> 00:10:12,812 Actually, nausea's good for a baby 'cause it lets you know that they're healthy. 312 00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,481 -He read one book. Yeah. -DONNA: Okay, you know what. 313 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,786 -Do you wanna go lay down upstairs in my bed? -That would be nice. 314 00:10:16,819 --> 00:10:18,322 -Oh, thanks, D. -Of course. 315 00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:20,260 -D, you got a little green on you. -That's sweet of you. 316 00:10:20,293 --> 00:10:22,230 Oh, okay. Thank you. You know what? Go lay down. 317 00:10:22,263 --> 00:10:23,132 RICHIE: You want a Sprite or something? 318 00:10:23,165 --> 00:10:24,702 You go up, I'm gonna get you a Sprite. 319 00:10:24,735 --> 00:10:25,938 -Alright. -You want anything else, babe? 320 00:10:25,971 --> 00:10:27,107 -I don't know. -DONNA: You good, bear? 321 00:10:27,140 --> 00:10:28,175 CARMY: Yeah, yeah. I'm good, I'm good. 322 00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:29,278 I asked you not to do this. 323 00:10:29,311 --> 00:10:30,748 -I didn't do anything. -Yeah. 324 00:10:30,781 --> 00:10:31,716 -What? -You look a little green. 325 00:10:31,750 --> 00:10:32,652 -Do you want a Sprite? -Thank you, I feel-- 326 00:10:32,685 --> 00:10:34,822 Oh, yeah, that would be nice. Thank you. 327 00:10:34,855 --> 00:10:36,358 -SUGAR: Yeah. -How do you feel? 328 00:10:36,391 --> 00:10:38,095 -SUGAR: Not great. -I-I feel terrible. 329 00:10:38,529 --> 00:10:39,832 SUGAR: Okay, feel better. 330 00:10:40,366 --> 00:10:42,037 -Here, paper towels. -Thank you, thanks, Sug. 331 00:10:42,070 --> 00:10:43,205 -RICHIE: Yo, Auntie D. -DONNA: What? 332 00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,076 RICHIE: Uh, are we outta Sprite? 333 00:10:45,109 --> 00:10:46,378 DONNA: We don't have Sprite. 334 00:10:46,411 --> 00:10:48,149 -RICHIE: We don't have Sprite? -CARMY: Ma! Ma! 335 00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:50,253 Cousin... I got it. I got it. I got it. 336 00:10:50,286 --> 00:10:52,023 DONNA: Well, no, no, no, no, no. You can't go to the store. 337 00:10:52,056 --> 00:10:53,392 You're gonna go to the store now? 338 00:10:53,425 --> 00:10:54,929 -My timers are going off. -Mom, I know. 339 00:10:54,962 --> 00:10:56,031 -Carmen. I need you. -CARMY: I know, I know. 340 00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:57,167 No, no, I'm gonna make it. 341 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,202 I'm gonna make it. It's fine. 342 00:10:58,235 --> 00:10:59,337 DONNA: Oh, you're gonna make it. 343 00:10:59,371 --> 00:11:01,075 -CARMY: Yeah. -RICHIE: You're gonna make Sprite? 344 00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:02,477 CARMY: Yeah, I'm gonna make fuckin' Sprite, yeah. 345 00:11:02,510 --> 00:11:04,514 Are you a fuckin' pop machine? 346 00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,951 Yeah, I'm a fuckin' pop machine. 347 00:11:05,984 --> 00:11:07,487 Hey, Ma, are you sure you're good? 348 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,393 Listen, I know you keep thinking like you wanna try to help. 349 00:11:10,426 --> 00:11:12,263 Do you wanna just make the whole dinner? 350 00:11:12,296 --> 00:11:13,299 -SUGAR: I want to help you. -How do you know how to make a Sprite? 351 00:11:13,332 --> 00:11:15,336 Just stop. Okay? Just stop. 352 00:11:15,369 --> 00:11:16,806 RICHIE: How the fuck do you know how to make Sprite? 353 00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:17,942 You know how he knows how to make Sprite? 354 00:11:17,975 --> 00:11:19,111 Because he's a big-time chef. 355 00:11:19,144 --> 00:11:20,046 -Oh. Got it, got it. -That's how. 356 00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:22,150 -That's how I know. -Somehow, I forgot. 357 00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:23,185 Nattie, I appreciate you. Thank you for asking. 358 00:11:23,218 --> 00:11:24,053 -SUGAR: Okay. -DONNA: Thank you. 359 00:11:24,087 --> 00:11:25,523 -RICHIE: Yo, Auntie D. -DONNA: What? 360 00:11:25,557 --> 00:11:27,327 -Why the seven fishes? -DONNA: Oh, my God. 361 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,331 What is up with everyone today? 362 00:11:29,364 --> 00:11:30,801 I'm just trying to make a nice fuckin' thing. 363 00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:32,203 I just mean why the fuck do people even do it? 364 00:11:32,236 --> 00:11:36,045 Because it's based on people who left Italy 365 00:11:36,078 --> 00:11:39,351 to find new dreams and homes with new people. 366 00:11:39,384 --> 00:11:41,155 And they brought their seven best things 367 00:11:41,188 --> 00:11:43,492 from their sea to their new homes, 368 00:11:43,525 --> 00:11:45,163 and not so their families end up 369 00:11:45,196 --> 00:11:46,800 being a bunch of fuckin' jagoffs. 370 00:11:46,833 --> 00:11:48,035 -That's not even close. -What's not even close? 371 00:11:48,068 --> 00:11:49,237 Why do you come in here talking shit? 372 00:11:49,270 --> 00:11:50,406 I'm not talking shit. I'm just saying, 373 00:11:50,439 --> 00:11:52,510 her seven fishes legend is not even close. 374 00:11:52,544 --> 00:11:54,380 There are sevens all over the Bible. 375 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:59,124 You get Sacraments, virtues, days, guilt, probably. 376 00:11:59,157 --> 00:12:01,061 You know, making people feel like shit, 377 00:12:01,094 --> 00:12:03,867 holding everything in and then letting it out inappropriately, 378 00:12:03,900 --> 00:12:06,305 raging, pouting, screaming, making scenes. 379 00:12:06,338 --> 00:12:08,042 You know, all the Italian classics. 380 00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:09,411 Yo, you're not even Italian, bro. 381 00:12:09,444 --> 00:12:11,949 I know. Polski, baby. Polski. 382 00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:15,289 -I like your version better. -Thanks. 383 00:12:15,322 --> 00:12:16,593 Hey, Carmen, take out 384 00:12:16,626 --> 00:12:18,262 the proscuit and the mortadel, please. 385 00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:19,364 Yeah, I got you. 386 00:12:19,397 --> 00:12:20,499 Yo, Carm. 387 00:12:20,767 --> 00:12:22,270 CARMY: Yo? Here you go, Sprite. 388 00:12:22,303 --> 00:12:23,573 -RICHIE: Sprite? Sprite. Fuck. -CARMY: Sprite. 389 00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:25,443 Why isn't somebody listening to me? 390 00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:26,679 -CARMY: What? I'm listening. -No, no, no. 391 00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:29,217 -Why is no one listening to me? -CARMY: I'm listening. What? 392 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:31,055 -What? What? -I said move the pot. 393 00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:34,127 -When? -DONNA: I said move the pot. 394 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,031 Right now? I'll move the pot. You want me to move the pot? 395 00:12:36,064 --> 00:12:37,935 -I said move the fucking pot. -CARMY: Okay! Alright! 396 00:12:37,968 --> 00:12:39,303 Here, here. Here's the pot. 397 00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:42,444 And it's fuckin' moving. And it's going right over here. 398 00:12:42,477 --> 00:12:44,114 -Thank you. -Okay? There you go. 399 00:12:44,147 --> 00:12:45,450 -I'm sorry. I just need a second. -Thank you. 400 00:12:45,483 --> 00:12:46,886 CARMY: I just need to go look at this... 401 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,324 Thank you. 402 00:12:49,357 --> 00:12:51,228 -MIKEY: One sec, I gotta find Rich. Cousin! CARMY: Jesus fucking... 403 00:12:51,261 --> 00:12:52,565 -Cousin! -RICHIE: Yo. 404 00:12:52,598 --> 00:12:53,867 -Did you tell him? -What? 405 00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,036 Did you fuckin tell him? 406 00:12:55,069 --> 00:12:56,205 Wh-wh-wh-what? What? 407 00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:58,008 -Oh, fuck me! Dawg! -Bro... 408 00:12:58,041 --> 00:12:59,478 Merry fuckin' Christmas, bro. 409 00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:00,614 -What? What do you mean? -Merry fuckin' Christmas 410 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:01,616 Guys, don't fuck with me right now. 411 00:13:01,649 --> 00:13:02,985 No one's fuckin' with you. 412 00:13:03,018 --> 00:13:04,154 What the fuck? Why would you think that? 413 00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:05,222 'Cause you're always fuckin' with me, 414 00:13:05,256 --> 00:13:06,224 that's why I fuckin think it. What do you mean? 415 00:13:06,258 --> 00:13:08,663 You're not gonna fucking believe who we just saw. 416 00:13:08,696 --> 00:13:09,966 No, no, no, no, no, no. This is a good thing. 417 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:11,435 This is a good thing. Just listen. 418 00:13:11,468 --> 00:13:12,370 -What do you mean? -MIKEY: Don't be a mopey little fuck. 419 00:13:12,403 --> 00:13:13,707 What? I'm not being a mopey little fuck. 420 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:16,211 Just take a break. Take a break from being a mopey little fuck. 421 00:13:16,244 --> 00:13:17,581 -We're trying to tell you... -RICHIE: Shut your mouth. Just listen. 422 00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:19,351 We're trying to tell you we ran into 423 00:13:19,384 --> 00:13:20,420 the love of your fucking life. 424 00:13:20,453 --> 00:13:21,522 I don't have a love of my life. 425 00:13:21,556 --> 00:13:23,292 -RICHIE: Just fucking tell him. -MIKEY: Claire bear. 426 00:13:23,325 --> 00:13:24,562 -RICHIE: Claire bear! -MIKEY: Claire bear. 427 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,465 -You saw Claire? -We saw Claire bear! 428 00:13:26,498 --> 00:13:29,504 That fuckin' chubby little genius down the street, she's beautiful. 429 00:13:29,538 --> 00:13:31,375 -The body is banging! -Banging, yo. Banging. 430 00:13:31,408 --> 00:13:33,012 RICHIE: Yo, she is hot as balls. 431 00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:34,247 -MIKEY: Hot as fuckin' balls, dude. -Yo. 432 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:35,516 RICHIE: Oh, my God, the glasses came off. 433 00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:38,322 The motherfucking glasses came off, G! 434 00:13:38,355 --> 00:13:39,992 RICHIE: Like a librarian in a fuckin' porno. 435 00:13:40,025 --> 00:13:41,361 She's all that and a fuckin' basket of biscuits, bro. 436 00:13:41,394 --> 00:13:42,565 And by the way, she's like, 437 00:13:42,598 --> 00:13:44,334 she's like a legitimate fucking wizard. 438 00:13:44,367 --> 00:13:46,038 -Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's true. -MIKEY: She's like a wizard. 439 00:13:46,071 --> 00:13:47,106 Tiffany used to babysit her. 440 00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:48,242 -She's obsessed with science. -What did you do? 441 00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:50,012 -She's obsessed with science. -She's in med school. 442 00:13:50,045 --> 00:13:51,248 -She's in med school. -What did you do? 443 00:13:51,281 --> 00:13:52,685 -What did you do? -We didn't do anything. 444 00:13:52,718 --> 00:13:54,354 -CARMY: What do you mean? -We just massaged the fuckin'... 445 00:13:54,387 --> 00:13:56,125 Bro, this is a once-in-a-million opportunity 446 00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:57,260 for you to score with a woman 447 00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:58,930 that's stacked physically and mentally. 448 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,601 Homie, you're having a child. Like, what the fuck? 449 00:14:00,634 --> 00:14:02,003 Why are you talking like that? 450 00:14:02,036 --> 00:14:03,139 It's not about me. 451 00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:04,441 Carmen, what are you talking about? 452 00:14:04,474 --> 00:14:06,211 -It's done. -Who asked you to do that, though? 453 00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:07,648 Who asked you to do that? That's what I'm saying. 454 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,151 It's Christmas. I fuckin' put in a good word. 455 00:14:09,184 --> 00:14:10,286 CARMY: Nobody asked you to do that. 456 00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:12,123 I told her about Napa, about Copen... 457 00:14:12,156 --> 00:14:13,359 I feel like you're breaking my balls. That's what you're doing. 458 00:14:13,392 --> 00:14:14,494 I don't understand why you always do that. 459 00:14:14,527 --> 00:14:15,362 Like, why are you like this? 460 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:17,367 But she's hot now, Carm. She's hot now. 461 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,137 -I'm just like... -Stevie was with us. 462 00:14:19,170 --> 00:14:20,039 Hey, Steven, get the fuck in here, please. 463 00:14:20,072 --> 00:14:21,441 I don't need Steven to come over here. 464 00:14:21,474 --> 00:14:23,011 RICHIE: Hey, Steven, get the fuck in here. 465 00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:25,216 -Would you please tell him who we ran into? -RICHIE: He doesn't believe us. 466 00:14:25,249 --> 00:14:26,418 Oh, we saw Claire bear. 467 00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:27,655 -Boom! -RICHIE: You see? 468 00:14:27,688 --> 00:14:30,092 STEVEN: On the weekends, this woman teaches CPR 469 00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:31,495 to differently abled college kids. 470 00:14:31,528 --> 00:14:32,631 Yeah, like, is that, like, Fak? 471 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:33,599 -Like Neil? -MIKEY: You see? 472 00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:35,537 -She's a deeply good person. -MIKEY: Boom! 473 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:36,673 I can see why you're in love with her. 474 00:14:36,706 --> 00:14:37,675 I'm not in love with her, though. 475 00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:38,375 That's what I'm saying. 476 00:14:38,409 --> 00:14:39,545 Where did you guys get this from 477 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:40,512 that I'm in love with her? 478 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,150 RICHIE: You used to have all those drawings. 479 00:14:42,183 --> 00:14:43,452 That's what I'm fuckin' talking about, though. 480 00:14:43,485 --> 00:14:44,454 That's what I'm fucking talking about. 481 00:14:44,487 --> 00:14:46,158 -STEVEN: May I say... -That's what I'm saying. 482 00:14:46,191 --> 00:14:47,193 That's why I think you're fucking with me. 483 00:14:47,226 --> 00:14:48,295 You're bringing up this thing 484 00:14:48,328 --> 00:14:50,032 you used to give me a fucking hard time about it. 485 00:14:50,065 --> 00:14:51,201 You used to give me a fucking hard time about it. 486 00:14:51,234 --> 00:14:52,203 -Relax. -No one's giving you... 487 00:14:52,236 --> 00:14:53,305 Don't touch me. 488 00:14:53,338 --> 00:14:55,076 STEVEN: Your brother handled it. 489 00:14:55,109 --> 00:14:56,278 -(timer ringing) -I want to touch you. 490 00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:58,048 -(overlapping chatter) -Don't touch me. 491 00:14:58,081 --> 00:14:59,619 Mikey, don't fuckin' touch me. I'm serious. 492 00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:01,589 -I want to touch you. -(ringing continues) 493 00:15:01,622 --> 00:15:03,292 Don't fucking touch me. Mikey. Stop. 494 00:15:03,325 --> 00:15:04,361 -DONNA: Hey! -CARMY: Mikey! 495 00:15:04,394 --> 00:15:05,631 -What the fuck? -RICHIE: Yo! 496 00:15:05,664 --> 00:15:07,500 Auntie D, did you just throw a spoon at me? 497 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,639 DONNA: Yeah, I did. You, Richard, bring her the pop. 498 00:15:09,672 --> 00:15:11,208 -Deedee-- -DONNA: Carmen, I need you. 499 00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:13,078 -Can you just calm down? -Ma, you gotta chill, Mom. 500 00:15:13,111 --> 00:15:14,447 Ma, you gotta chill. 501 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,184 DONNA: No, no, no. You cannot say that. 502 00:15:16,217 --> 00:15:17,420 We're not done with this Claire Bear thing. 503 00:15:17,453 --> 00:15:19,190 You're fuckin' breaking my balls. 504 00:15:19,223 --> 00:15:21,361 RICHIE: No, I think, I think it's just a big misunderstanding. 505 00:15:21,394 --> 00:15:23,600 Carm... this is a good thing. 506 00:15:23,633 --> 00:15:26,104 DONNA: You, Carmen, come on. I need help. 507 00:15:26,137 --> 00:15:28,075 RICHIE: Yo, Deedee, can you just calm down a little... 508 00:15:28,108 --> 00:15:29,645 DONNA: Hey, no, you do not tell me... 509 00:15:36,258 --> 00:15:37,628 IFF: Hi. -RICHIE: Hi. 510 00:15:37,661 --> 00:15:38,596 TIFF: Hi. 511 00:15:41,736 --> 00:15:42,805 How you doing? 512 00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:44,006 I'm okay. 513 00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:45,677 I'm good. 514 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,652 This room is so insane. 515 00:15:49,685 --> 00:15:52,290 Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah. 516 00:15:52,323 --> 00:15:54,293 Um, we're out of Sprite, but... 517 00:15:55,563 --> 00:15:58,202 Carmy made this for you. 518 00:15:58,235 --> 00:15:59,404 TIFF: What do you mean he made it for me? 519 00:15:59,437 --> 00:16:00,607 RICHIE: He made it for you. 520 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:02,109 He's like a goddamn pop machine, this guy. 521 00:16:03,278 --> 00:16:04,548 He's a weird little dude. 522 00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:07,186 (Richie laughs) 523 00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:10,259 -Yo. -Right? 524 00:16:11,094 --> 00:16:12,096 Right? 525 00:16:12,129 --> 00:16:13,132 What's up with him, though? 526 00:16:13,165 --> 00:16:14,601 He's so, like... 527 00:16:14,935 --> 00:16:17,440 I don't know. He's a little... Yeah. 528 00:16:17,473 --> 00:16:20,078 He's... weird. 529 00:16:21,882 --> 00:16:23,151 We're, um... 530 00:16:24,822 --> 00:16:26,626 We're trying to hook him up with Claire bear, 531 00:16:26,659 --> 00:16:28,395 you know, loosen him up a little bit. 532 00:16:28,428 --> 00:16:29,531 -With Claire? -RICHIE: Yeah. 533 00:16:29,565 --> 00:16:31,301 Why would you do that? She's so nice. 534 00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:34,741 Are you still mad at me? 535 00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:39,483 No. 536 00:16:40,754 --> 00:16:42,123 I threw up so many times, 537 00:16:42,156 --> 00:16:43,760 I honestly forgot what I was mad about. 538 00:16:43,793 --> 00:16:45,229 You just puked all that anger up? 539 00:16:45,262 --> 00:16:46,531 Just got it all outta you? 540 00:16:50,272 --> 00:16:52,410 I'll take it. 541 00:16:52,443 --> 00:16:54,582 Hey, did you go look at the place? 542 00:16:54,615 --> 00:16:56,417 Mm-hmm. Yeah. 543 00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:58,488 What'd you think? 544 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:04,134 I think it's expensive. 545 00:17:04,167 --> 00:17:06,171 But it's nice. 546 00:17:06,204 --> 00:17:07,607 And schools are nice. 547 00:17:09,177 --> 00:17:10,345 It's public school. 548 00:17:12,851 --> 00:17:14,520 You can walk to school. 549 00:17:31,187 --> 00:17:32,456 -Hi. -Hey. 550 00:17:37,333 --> 00:17:38,234 Hi. 551 00:17:41,609 --> 00:17:43,211 -I had a dream. -Mm-hmm. 552 00:17:43,846 --> 00:17:45,783 That we only wore green clothes. 553 00:17:46,484 --> 00:17:48,756 They were our clothes, but they were all green. 554 00:17:49,324 --> 00:17:50,894 -RICHIE: Mm-hmm. -And then the baby 555 00:17:50,927 --> 00:17:52,496 only wore red clothes. 556 00:17:53,198 --> 00:17:55,403 Like I went to the store and I bought all these other colors 557 00:17:55,436 --> 00:17:57,941 and I brought 'em back home and then they were all red. 558 00:17:57,974 --> 00:17:59,143 What do you think? 559 00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,283 I think that's pretty fuckin' dope. 560 00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:03,451 That's what I thought. 561 00:18:14,975 --> 00:18:16,545 Do you think that she'll like us? 562 00:18:22,991 --> 00:18:24,729 I don't know. 563 00:18:24,762 --> 00:18:25,863 I hope so. 564 00:18:27,533 --> 00:18:29,538 -Yeah, me, too. -We just gotta... 565 00:18:30,907 --> 00:18:32,744 not be like our parents, you know. 566 00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:36,184 Well, you're not like a... 567 00:18:37,988 --> 00:18:41,428 a psycho vampire... 568 00:18:41,461 --> 00:18:42,764 TIFF: Alcoholic. 569 00:18:43,131 --> 00:18:45,236 -...bitch, like... No offense, but. -Vindictive. 570 00:18:45,269 --> 00:18:47,172 No. It's-it's accurate. 571 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,348 I'm actually here. 572 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:52,717 That's a start. 573 00:18:55,857 --> 00:18:58,328 -Am I squishing you? -No, no, it's good. It's good. 574 00:18:58,361 --> 00:18:59,330 I like it. 575 00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:02,570 You're so cute. 576 00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:06,244 You're gonna be such a cute dad. 577 00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,303 I really don't wanna throw up again. 578 00:19:22,376 --> 00:19:23,746 You don't smell like barf. 579 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:26,284 That's good. 580 00:19:26,317 --> 00:19:28,789 I like chugged Listerine. 581 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:32,797 (Richie sighs) 582 00:19:36,337 --> 00:19:38,810 The upside of barf is that you get some peace and quiet. 583 00:19:38,843 --> 00:19:41,549 -That is true. -(Richie sighs) 584 00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:44,520 I get to be away from all those psychos downstairs. 585 00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:47,059 Do you think Donna's gonna kill me 586 00:19:47,092 --> 00:19:48,796 if I throw up on her robe? 587 00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:51,367 -I don't think she'll notice. -(Tiff chuckles) 588 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,386 I love you so much. 589 00:20:17,419 --> 00:20:18,923 TIFF: I love you so much. 590 00:20:21,962 --> 00:20:24,000 I have one quick question, though, for you. 591 00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:26,404 -RICHIE: Mm-hmm. -Is that a leopard 592 00:20:26,772 --> 00:20:29,510 or is it a cheetah or is it a panther? 593 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,548 That's a leopard. 594 00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:33,553 We're in Donna's bedroom. 595 00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:34,989 -(growls) -There's not gonna be a fuckin' cheetah. 596 00:20:35,022 --> 00:20:36,357 (Richie laughs) 597 00:20:38,395 --> 00:20:39,798 Alright, I gotta go back down. 598 00:20:39,831 --> 00:20:40,833 Okay. 599 00:20:41,702 --> 00:20:43,939 RICHIE: I'll come back and check on you in a few minutes. 600 00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,753 -I love you so much. -I love you. 601 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,129 RICHIE: Merry Christmas. 602 00:20:55,162 --> 00:20:56,865 Merry fuckin' Christmas. 603 00:20:58,368 --> 00:20:59,538 (sighs) 604 00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:06,919 DONNA: Fuck! God-- Fuck! 605 00:21:06,952 --> 00:21:09,625 -Hey, I got this. I got this. -No, it's okay. It's okay. 606 00:21:09,658 --> 00:21:10,927 -LEE: Yeah. -DONNA: No, wait. 607 00:21:11,428 --> 00:21:14,133 -LEE: Ugh, here. Let me help. -DONNA: Fuck! Thanks. 608 00:21:14,166 --> 00:21:15,636 Hey, did you get that thing I sent you? 609 00:21:16,104 --> 00:21:17,406 No. What'd you send me? 610 00:21:17,439 --> 00:21:18,843 It's a building in Wilmette. 611 00:21:18,876 --> 00:21:21,047 I'm gonna buy it, I'm gonna lease it out. 612 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,383 -It's a piece of shit. -(Donna laughs) 613 00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:23,620 It's got, like, seven cracks 614 00:21:23,653 --> 00:21:24,989 -in the foundation. -Congratulations. 615 00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:27,561 Yeah, but the thing is, the guy doesn't have a realtor. 616 00:21:27,594 --> 00:21:30,600 Hey, I thought if you needed help again. -Oh, no. No, no, no. No. 617 00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:31,969 Yeah, but this could be a chance for us to-- 618 00:21:32,002 --> 00:21:33,673 No, I don't need it. I don't need it. 619 00:21:33,706 --> 00:21:35,409 Thank you, though. I appreciate it. I got it handled. 620 00:21:35,442 --> 00:21:37,413 -Okay, but everybody wins, you know. -MIKEY: Excuse me. 621 00:21:37,446 --> 00:21:39,985 -DONNA: Yeah. Nobody wins. -You make a deal, I'll make a deal... 622 00:21:40,519 --> 00:21:42,858 -We get to, you know, do it together. -DONNA: Oh, yeah. 623 00:21:42,891 --> 00:21:44,828 -Yeah. Thanks, though. -That's a good idea. 624 00:21:44,861 --> 00:21:47,033 -Think about it, okay? -DONNA: Okay. 625 00:21:47,066 --> 00:21:48,969 So, guys, are we really doing this again? 626 00:21:49,771 --> 00:21:51,975 I'm just, I'm cleaning up a mess here. 627 00:21:52,744 --> 00:21:53,880 (Mikey sighs) 628 00:21:53,913 --> 00:21:55,650 Yeah, you are a mess, Lee. 629 00:21:55,683 --> 00:21:56,885 -DONNA: Oh, you know what, Michael? -What? 630 00:21:56,919 --> 00:21:59,457 -That's not very nice. Michael. -MIKEY: Is that not very nice? 631 00:21:59,490 --> 00:22:01,194 What happened to the Christmas spirit in this house? 632 00:22:01,227 --> 00:22:03,431 -DONNA: I don't know. -It's gone. I can't find it. 633 00:22:08,943 --> 00:22:10,680 Yo. Yo, yo, yo. Oh. 634 00:22:10,713 --> 00:22:11,915 (softly) Uncle J. Uncle J. 635 00:22:12,416 --> 00:22:13,351 (whispering) Why are we whispering? 636 00:22:13,385 --> 00:22:15,422 (whispering) Oh, I just wanted to talk to you 637 00:22:15,455 --> 00:22:16,692 about that thing from earlier. 638 00:22:17,093 --> 00:22:18,095 What thing from earlier? 639 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:21,434 The... the job. The job thing. 640 00:22:21,467 --> 00:22:22,738 (loudly) Oh, the job from earlier! 641 00:22:22,771 --> 00:22:23,906 Come on, don't be an asshole. 642 00:22:23,939 --> 00:22:26,679 Come on. I'm-I'm being real with you. 643 00:22:26,712 --> 00:22:31,555 Oh. Okay. In that case, I gotta put on my real face. 644 00:22:31,588 --> 00:22:33,592 -Jimmy. -CICERO: What did I say earlier? 645 00:22:34,293 --> 00:22:35,697 You said we'd talk about it later. 646 00:22:35,730 --> 00:22:36,832 And now it's later. 647 00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:38,802 Very good. So shoot. 648 00:22:39,538 --> 00:22:40,774 Alright. 649 00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:41,976 I'm about to have this kid. 650 00:22:42,009 --> 00:22:44,581 I don't wanna be wrapping up sandwiches 651 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:45,448 for the rest of my life. 652 00:22:45,482 --> 00:22:46,752 You know, I don't wanna be going home 653 00:22:46,785 --> 00:22:48,155 with my hands covered in grease, 654 00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:50,660 trying to change diapers and stuff. I... 655 00:22:52,964 --> 00:22:57,106 You're, um, someone with a lot going on. 656 00:22:57,139 --> 00:22:59,143 You could probably use some help. 657 00:22:59,176 --> 00:23:00,178 I've been looking... 658 00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:03,085 there's not much going on out there. 659 00:23:03,118 --> 00:23:04,153 You know? 660 00:23:04,688 --> 00:23:08,763 You're somebody... that knows something. 661 00:23:08,796 --> 00:23:09,731 And... 662 00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:19,517 (whispering) I don't wanna be at The Beef every day. 663 00:23:19,551 --> 00:23:20,887 That makes sense, right? 664 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,624 I feel like I'm wasting potential. 665 00:23:22,657 --> 00:23:23,993 What kinda potential? 666 00:23:24,026 --> 00:23:26,064 I don't know. Uh... I'm good with people. 667 00:23:26,097 --> 00:23:28,501 I'm... Uh, I don't really have an outlet for that, though. 668 00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:32,711 And I've never had a mentor. I never had an uncle-- 669 00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,247 Oh, and I'm neither of those things. 670 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,250 Yeah, but you understand what I'm saying, though, right? 671 00:23:36,952 --> 00:23:39,958 -No, I do not. -RICHIE: I am not asking you for money. 672 00:23:40,259 --> 00:23:41,561 I wanna learn. 673 00:23:42,664 --> 00:23:44,868 If you teach me, I will learn. 674 00:23:44,901 --> 00:23:46,037 And you can trust me. 675 00:23:48,809 --> 00:23:50,847 You want me to, you want me to teach you things? 676 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:51,882 Yeah. 677 00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:54,921 Yeah. You know, business stuff. 678 00:23:57,059 --> 00:23:59,598 Oh. Ohh. 679 00:23:59,631 --> 00:24:01,000 Oh, you want a job. 680 00:24:01,669 --> 00:24:03,806 I get it. I get it now. I'm reading you. 681 00:24:05,877 --> 00:24:07,012 Will you think about it? 682 00:24:08,783 --> 00:24:09,684 Maybe. 683 00:24:11,722 --> 00:24:12,690 You're a good kid. 684 00:24:14,861 --> 00:24:15,930 Merry Christmas, Unc. 685 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,000 CICERO: You too, fuckface. 686 00:24:28,756 --> 00:24:29,792 -Yeah... I got-- -Spray the other way. 687 00:24:29,825 --> 00:24:31,862 Neil, I got allergies, man. 688 00:24:31,895 --> 00:24:33,231 -(blows raspberry) -Chanel. 689 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,605 Did your daddy buy you these matching outfits? 690 00:24:36,638 --> 00:24:37,607 -FAK: Yeah. -Yeah? 691 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:38,643 TED: Big Neil got 'em for us. 692 00:24:38,676 --> 00:24:39,912 Yeah. Kohl's Cash. 693 00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,816 -Kohl's Cash. -TED: You know what I'm saying? 694 00:24:41,849 --> 00:24:42,951 Yeah, I do know what you're saying. 695 00:24:42,984 --> 00:24:44,153 Oh, yeah. 696 00:24:44,186 --> 00:24:45,222 -MICHELLE: Is your sister coming? -No. 697 00:24:45,255 --> 00:24:46,992 TED: Francie's not allowed. 698 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:48,896 -No. Yeah. -Why? 699 00:24:48,929 --> 00:24:50,098 -FAK: 'Cause... 'Cause Nat. -Oh. 700 00:24:50,131 --> 00:24:51,033 -FAK: She's mad as hell. -Oh. 701 00:24:51,066 --> 00:24:52,604 -FAK: She's angry. -'Cause of the thing. 702 00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:53,739 -Yeah. -Yeah. 703 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,275 -Yeah. -Still, huh? 704 00:24:55,308 --> 00:24:56,344 Still. 705 00:24:56,377 --> 00:25:00,018 -Like... -(both growling) 706 00:25:00,051 --> 00:25:01,087 Yeah. 707 00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:02,156 -Uh... -Yeah. 708 00:25:02,189 --> 00:25:03,091 Yeah. 709 00:25:03,124 --> 00:25:06,030 I'm sorry. That's really hard. 710 00:25:06,063 --> 00:25:07,634 -Yeah. -TED: Yeah. 711 00:25:07,667 --> 00:25:09,671 Francie's a fuckface, though. 712 00:25:10,072 --> 00:25:12,042 -Totally. -I mean, absolutely. 713 00:25:12,075 --> 00:25:13,679 Just like a total fuckface. 714 00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:15,215 -Oh, yeah. All the way. -Totally. 715 00:25:15,750 --> 00:25:17,721 She's nice, though, but, she's... 716 00:25:17,754 --> 00:25:20,225 -Not nice. -No. No. 717 00:25:20,258 --> 00:25:21,361 The worst. 718 00:25:21,394 --> 00:25:22,797 Bad. Yeah. 719 00:25:22,830 --> 00:25:23,866 Is New York City the best? 720 00:25:23,899 --> 00:25:25,402 Ohh, it's the best. 721 00:25:25,435 --> 00:25:28,241 (exhales) You know, it's just like you're alive. 722 00:25:28,274 --> 00:25:31,080 And then you come here and you're dead, you know, it's... 723 00:25:31,113 --> 00:25:32,383 Oh. 724 00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:35,122 Do you think Donna's gonna do something crazy? 725 00:25:35,155 --> 00:25:36,926 (scoffs) Abs... 726 00:25:36,959 --> 00:25:38,294 Yeah. 727 00:25:38,696 --> 00:25:40,633 -Yeah. -TED: Yeah. Do you? 728 00:25:41,300 --> 00:25:43,070 -Yeah. -Yeah. 729 00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:47,881 ♪ Oh, there's a little white duck ♪ 730 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:49,383 ♪ Sitting in the water ♪ 731 00:25:49,416 --> 00:25:51,421 ♪ A little white duck ♪ 732 00:25:51,454 --> 00:25:53,358 ♪ Doing what he oughta ♪ 733 00:25:53,391 --> 00:25:54,828 ♪ He took a bite ♪ 734 00:25:54,861 --> 00:25:56,798 (laughing) Oh. 735 00:25:57,299 --> 00:25:58,936 ♪ He flapped his wings ♪ 736 00:25:58,969 --> 00:26:01,007 -Ma, can I help, please? -DONNA: Hmm? Mm-mmm. 737 00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:02,944 -SUGAR: Can I take-- -No, honey. 738 00:26:02,977 --> 00:26:04,948 I don't wanna have to explain to everyone 739 00:26:04,981 --> 00:26:06,417 why I call you Sugar again. 740 00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:07,988 Everybody knows why already. 741 00:26:08,021 --> 00:26:09,390 CICERO: I-I actually don't know why. 742 00:26:09,423 --> 00:26:11,027 I've never heard that story. 743 00:26:11,060 --> 00:26:13,265 DONNA: Do you know what's really fucking crazy? 744 00:26:13,298 --> 00:26:14,768 Is when you're trying to cook 745 00:26:14,801 --> 00:26:16,972 and people just, they pour into the kitchen. 746 00:26:17,005 --> 00:26:18,743 You know, it's fuckin' boiling in here. 747 00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:20,145 CICERO: Is this a passive-aggressive way... 748 00:26:20,178 --> 00:26:21,113 -Oh. ...of you asking me to leave? 749 00:26:21,147 --> 00:26:23,451 No, no, no, no, no. It is an aggressive... 750 00:26:23,484 --> 00:26:26,156 aggressive way of asking you to go scratch. 751 00:26:26,558 --> 00:26:29,030 -Scratch. -Do you know how fuckin' hot you are 752 00:26:29,063 --> 00:26:30,265 when you're slurring your words? 753 00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:32,169 Oh, my God, it's like fuckin' musk. 754 00:26:34,039 --> 00:26:35,977 I... By the way, I do not know the story. 755 00:26:36,010 --> 00:26:38,749 -DONNA: Oh, because she added a cup of sugar... -I added a cup of sugar 756 00:26:38,782 --> 00:26:40,185 -instead of a cup of salt. -...instead of a cup of salt. 757 00:26:40,218 --> 00:26:43,391 And then the gravy tasted like fucking Hawaiian Punch. 758 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,397 I'm so glad we had this time together. Now I know. 759 00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:47,867 (ringing) 760 00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,871 DONNA: Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 761 00:26:49,904 --> 00:26:51,140 -CARMY: What? What? What? What? -It's okay. 762 00:26:51,173 --> 00:26:54,013 DONNA: Um... Oh, did you get Tiff those saltines? 763 00:26:54,046 --> 00:26:55,048 -No. Okay. Alright. -DONNA: Get them for her. 764 00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:56,317 I don't remember what that was for. 765 00:26:56,350 --> 00:26:57,252 DONNA: Oh, yes! 766 00:26:57,285 --> 00:26:59,791 Sugar, you have to remember to remind me... 767 00:26:59,824 --> 00:27:01,494 -What do I have to remember? -...that the bread isn't... 768 00:27:01,527 --> 00:27:02,262 No, no, it wasn't the bread. 769 00:27:02,296 --> 00:27:03,766 -(ringing) -It was the peppers. 770 00:27:03,799 --> 00:27:05,168 The peppers. Right. The peppers. 771 00:27:05,201 --> 00:27:06,739 -Sugar? -Yeah. 772 00:27:06,772 --> 00:27:08,876 You're gonna have to remind me to put the bread in. 773 00:27:08,909 --> 00:27:09,744 -SUGAR: Okay. -Right before dinner. 774 00:27:09,778 --> 00:27:11,080 -I will do that. Yeah. -DONNA: Okay? 775 00:27:11,113 --> 00:27:12,216 -Okay. -Don't worry. 776 00:27:12,249 --> 00:27:13,485 DONNA: Because the peppers are cooking. 777 00:27:13,518 --> 00:27:15,121 And shit. The potatoes... 778 00:27:15,522 --> 00:27:17,426 The potatoes are gonna go in just to warm up again. 779 00:27:17,459 --> 00:27:18,495 Okay, be careful. 780 00:27:18,528 --> 00:27:19,430 -DONNA: Okay? -Don't burn yourself. 781 00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:20,967 (Fak speaks indistinctly) 782 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,303 -(Fak clears throat) -Did I win? 783 00:27:22,336 --> 00:27:23,539 -No, no, explain it to him. -Absolutely not. 784 00:27:23,573 --> 00:27:25,442 -Explain it to him. -Let me just tell you how it goes. 785 00:27:25,475 --> 00:27:27,313 You take... Okay, pick a number one through six again. 786 00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:28,950 -Five. -Five. Five. Take five. 787 00:27:28,983 --> 00:27:30,485 You got ten dice here, okay? 788 00:27:30,518 --> 00:27:34,493 You roll it 13 times in hopes to get five 26 times. 789 00:27:34,526 --> 00:27:35,996 -See, that's where you're wrong. -No, I'm not wrong. 790 00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:39,437 Yeah, you are. You take the ten dice and the first person to get 26 wins. 791 00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:40,907 No. I taught you how to play the game. 792 00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:42,209 -You didn't teach me how to-- -TED: Yes, I did. 793 00:27:42,242 --> 00:27:43,779 -FAK: No, Cousin Gary did. -TED: Yes, I did. 794 00:27:43,812 --> 00:27:45,215 -No, he didn't. -He used to take me to the club 795 00:27:45,248 --> 00:27:46,785 -with the hot girls and-- -Cousin Gary doesn't do shit. 796 00:27:46,818 --> 00:27:48,188 You've never seen a hot girl in your life. 797 00:27:48,221 --> 00:27:49,323 Alright, listen, Steven. 798 00:27:50,492 --> 00:27:51,795 You got 500 bucks on you? 799 00:27:51,828 --> 00:27:53,198 FAK: Do you like baseball cards? 800 00:27:53,231 --> 00:27:54,367 May I take those one at a time? 801 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,870 -FAK: Go ahead. -I... 802 00:27:55,903 --> 00:27:58,274 Do I have access to 500 bucks? I-I absolutely do. 803 00:27:58,307 --> 00:28:00,012 -Great. That's perfect. -I'm a 43-year-old man. 804 00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:01,214 -That's great. -Good, good. 805 00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:03,819 I am indifferent to baseball cards. 806 00:28:03,852 --> 00:28:05,522 -Well, listen, baseball cards are back. -That's okay. That's okay. 807 00:28:05,556 --> 00:28:07,359 -That's okay. -Yeah, we're just, we're just buying, 808 00:28:07,392 --> 00:28:09,230 we're buying boxes of baseball cards. 809 00:28:09,263 --> 00:28:11,000 -A lot of boxes of cards. -And-and we're flipping 'em. 810 00:28:11,033 --> 00:28:13,071 -FAK: And there's one box on eBay. -Baseball cards are back? 811 00:28:13,104 --> 00:28:15,008 -FAK: My alerts are going off... -TED: Baseball cards are back. 812 00:28:15,041 --> 00:28:16,545 -So they're valuable right now? -TED: They're valuable right now. 813 00:28:16,578 --> 00:28:18,248 -STEVEN: Okay. -$500... 814 00:28:18,281 --> 00:28:20,184 -STEVEN: Yeah? -...can make you... 815 00:28:20,619 --> 00:28:22,891 -fifteen hundred dollars. -Fifteen hundred bucks. 816 00:28:22,924 --> 00:28:24,393 -STEVEN: Triple my money? -Yeah. 817 00:28:24,426 --> 00:28:26,030 -Within six... -FAK: A couple, a couple months. 818 00:28:26,063 --> 00:28:26,865 Cicero's already in. 819 00:28:26,898 --> 00:28:28,501 -He gave us his drink. -In on what? 820 00:28:28,534 --> 00:28:31,240 ROI on RBIs. 821 00:28:31,273 --> 00:28:33,144 That's kind of our, that's kind of our, that's the business. 822 00:28:33,177 --> 00:28:36,083 Do you know what? I'm going to give you the $500. 823 00:28:36,317 --> 00:28:37,987 -Hold on. Hold on. -FAK: Mm-hmm. 824 00:28:39,089 --> 00:28:42,296 Because whatever you do with that 825 00:28:42,329 --> 00:28:44,400 is going to be very interesting to me. 826 00:28:44,433 --> 00:28:46,170 -FAK: Yeah. -And I, all I ask... 827 00:28:46,203 --> 00:28:47,406 -Yeah. Yeah. -STEVEN: Okay? 828 00:28:47,439 --> 00:28:49,544 ...one of you has to get in touch with me weekly. 829 00:28:49,577 --> 00:28:51,147 -FAK: Okay. -TED: We're making money. 830 00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:52,851 I wanna hear when you open the boxes 831 00:28:52,884 --> 00:28:54,453 and when you go through the cards, 832 00:28:54,486 --> 00:28:56,992 -I wanna hear what's-what's in it... -FAK: Inventory. Inventory. 833 00:28:57,025 --> 00:28:58,528 STEVEN: ...and more importantly, what's maybe not in it. 834 00:28:58,562 --> 00:29:01,902 I actually... My dad had a Roberto Clemente 835 00:29:01,935 --> 00:29:03,171 from... from the Pittsburgh Pirates? 836 00:29:03,204 --> 00:29:04,239 -TED: Of course. -A rookie card. 837 00:29:04,273 --> 00:29:06,210 But Michelle and I, we tossed it when we moved. 838 00:29:06,243 --> 00:29:07,547 -What are you, fuckin' stupid? -FAK: That's the stupidest thing 839 00:29:07,580 --> 00:29:08,749 -you've ever done. -STEVEN: It was behind glass. 840 00:29:08,782 --> 00:29:10,553 Do you know what you could get for that right now? $125. 841 00:29:10,586 --> 00:29:12,356 $125,000? 842 00:29:12,389 --> 00:29:14,427 FAK AND TED: $125. 843 00:29:14,460 --> 00:29:17,066 -You fuck... -I'm really... I like seeing you guys every year. 844 00:29:17,099 --> 00:29:18,334 You fuckin' deliver. 845 00:29:18,367 --> 00:29:20,004 FAK: What is that, a bowling shirt? 846 00:29:24,246 --> 00:29:25,616 ♪ Sitting in the water ♪ 847 00:29:25,649 --> 00:29:26,584 (sighs) 848 00:29:26,618 --> 00:29:28,889 DONNA: Carm, where the fuck are my saltines? 849 00:29:28,922 --> 00:29:30,425 CARMY: Yeah, I got it, Ma. I got it. I got it. 850 00:29:30,994 --> 00:29:32,597 -Yo. -MIKEY: Oh shit, sorry, Carmy. I'm in your way. 851 00:29:32,630 --> 00:29:33,966 -Sorry. -Yeah, yeah. 852 00:29:33,999 --> 00:29:35,570 Can I just... I gotta get the saltines. 853 00:29:35,603 --> 00:29:36,905 MIKEY: Saltines? 854 00:29:37,807 --> 00:29:39,944 You're kinda acting like a saltine, you know that? 855 00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:42,316 -Why? -I'm not a saltine. 856 00:29:42,349 --> 00:29:45,455 Why? You're acting like a saltine. Why? 857 00:29:45,488 --> 00:29:47,326 Why? Why? What's going on with you? 858 00:29:47,359 --> 00:29:49,130 I know there's something. Just tell me. 859 00:29:49,163 --> 00:29:50,933 -(sighs deeply) -Come on, Carm, I'm right here. 860 00:29:50,966 --> 00:29:53,572 What's going on? I gotta drag it outta you? 861 00:29:53,605 --> 00:29:55,108 -What is going on? What? -I just... Yo. 862 00:29:55,141 --> 00:29:56,578 I just, I thought, I thought when I was back, 863 00:29:56,611 --> 00:29:59,083 I could work with you, alright? At the spot. 864 00:29:59,116 --> 00:30:00,318 We could talk about the shop, 865 00:30:00,351 --> 00:30:01,386 'cause I've been learning a lot of shit, 866 00:30:01,420 --> 00:30:03,626 and, I don't know, I feel like I got some ideas. 867 00:30:03,659 --> 00:30:05,462 Yeah, but... (stammers) 868 00:30:05,495 --> 00:30:07,232 The place is no good, Carmy. 869 00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:08,501 It's-it's a fucking nightmare. 870 00:30:08,534 --> 00:30:09,938 -Like, trust me, I'm doing you a favor. -Yo. 871 00:30:09,971 --> 00:30:12,376 And I'd love to hear your ideas. I would. 872 00:30:12,409 --> 00:30:14,246 I-I-I wanna hear about you, I do. 873 00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,482 Also I don't need you fuckin'... 874 00:30:15,515 --> 00:30:17,085 I don't need you talking to Claire 875 00:30:17,118 --> 00:30:18,622 and acting all nice if you don't actually give a fuck. 876 00:30:18,655 --> 00:30:19,657 You know? 877 00:30:20,458 --> 00:30:21,460 Wh-what? 878 00:30:22,362 --> 00:30:24,968 What are you talking about I-I don't give a fuck? 879 00:30:25,001 --> 00:30:26,336 Why would you say that to me? 880 00:30:27,540 --> 00:30:29,143 Carmy, I give like a... 881 00:30:29,176 --> 00:30:30,612 I give like a huge fuck. 882 00:30:32,249 --> 00:30:33,552 -Yeah? -Yeah. Fuck, yeah. 883 00:30:33,585 --> 00:30:34,955 -(timer ringing) -DONNA: God fucking dammit! 884 00:30:34,988 --> 00:30:36,390 I mean, I give... I-I... 885 00:30:37,526 --> 00:30:39,463 I give like the biggest fuck. 886 00:30:43,404 --> 00:30:44,708 -Alright. -Alright? 887 00:30:44,741 --> 00:30:45,676 Okay. 888 00:30:46,477 --> 00:30:47,547 Yeah. 889 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:48,548 Hey, don't... 890 00:30:49,751 --> 00:30:51,722 I um, I got you... 891 00:30:51,755 --> 00:30:53,524 I got, uh, it's stupid. I got you... 892 00:30:53,892 --> 00:30:56,030 -What? -Actually, I got you something. 893 00:30:56,063 --> 00:30:58,067 -Can I give it to you? -What, you got me a present? 894 00:30:58,100 --> 00:30:59,638 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you a present. Just one second. 895 00:30:59,671 --> 00:31:00,973 Alright. 896 00:31:12,329 --> 00:31:13,230 Whoa. 897 00:31:13,598 --> 00:31:15,536 -Yo. -What's this? 898 00:31:17,573 --> 00:31:19,376 Wait, before I, uh... 899 00:31:20,478 --> 00:31:22,149 why don't you give me, like, 900 00:31:22,182 --> 00:31:25,154 like, three things about Copenhagen, man? 901 00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:27,459 Tell me. 902 00:31:27,492 --> 00:31:29,296 I don't know. Uh... 903 00:31:29,329 --> 00:31:30,398 MIKEY: Anything. 904 00:31:32,770 --> 00:31:34,440 It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen. 905 00:31:34,473 --> 00:31:35,441 MIKEY: Yeah. 906 00:31:36,176 --> 00:31:37,045 Uh... 907 00:31:40,318 --> 00:31:41,721 I slept on a boat. 908 00:31:43,324 --> 00:31:44,292 And, uh... 909 00:31:47,098 --> 00:31:48,301 I fed an invisible cat. 910 00:31:48,334 --> 00:31:49,269 MIKEY: Hmm. 911 00:31:52,275 --> 00:31:53,310 Well, Carm... 912 00:31:54,279 --> 00:31:55,348 that's a home run. 913 00:31:55,381 --> 00:31:56,450 Yeah. Out of the park. 914 00:31:56,483 --> 00:31:57,620 MIKEY: Out of the park. 915 00:31:57,653 --> 00:31:58,756 Alright, go ahead. Go ahead, go ahead. 916 00:31:58,789 --> 00:32:00,024 MIKEY: What is this? 917 00:32:06,070 --> 00:32:07,405 Oh, Carmy, that's a... 918 00:32:07,807 --> 00:32:09,343 It's like, it's like a little bit rough, 919 00:32:09,376 --> 00:32:10,580 but I don't know, it's something-- 920 00:32:10,613 --> 00:32:11,714 No, man, that's... 921 00:32:13,752 --> 00:32:15,221 It's beautiful. That's... 922 00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:17,225 That's perfect. 923 00:32:19,529 --> 00:32:21,166 Yeah, Mike, we could, um... 924 00:32:23,805 --> 00:32:25,375 We could do this, you know. 925 00:32:25,408 --> 00:32:26,711 Yeah. 926 00:32:27,112 --> 00:32:30,085 -CARMY: Yeah. -Yeah. 927 00:32:30,118 --> 00:32:31,053 Yeah, let it rip. 928 00:32:32,790 --> 00:32:33,826 Yeah, let it rip. 929 00:32:33,859 --> 00:32:35,194 Yeah, Carm. 930 00:32:37,399 --> 00:32:39,771 DONNA: Carm, where the fuck are the saltines? 931 00:32:39,804 --> 00:32:41,306 -I gotta get the thing. -MIKEY: Okay. 932 00:32:42,175 --> 00:32:43,110 Alright. 933 00:32:44,446 --> 00:32:46,049 (Carmy clears throat) 934 00:32:50,191 --> 00:32:53,264 (cutlery clattering) 935 00:32:53,297 --> 00:32:55,468 (indistinct conversations) 936 00:33:05,689 --> 00:33:06,624 Alright. 937 00:33:09,764 --> 00:33:11,500 (timer ringing) 938 00:33:13,270 --> 00:33:16,343 ("Dominick the Donkey" by Lou Monte playing) 939 00:33:19,684 --> 00:33:22,322 Alright. Neil, you go. 940 00:33:22,355 --> 00:33:23,391 Solo. Go. 941 00:33:23,424 --> 00:33:26,263 Oh, yeah. Yeah! 942 00:33:26,296 --> 00:33:27,666 Yeah! 943 00:33:28,267 --> 00:33:30,539 Alright, Ted, you go. Solo. 944 00:33:30,572 --> 00:33:33,344 ♪ ...his Paesans with Dominick he'll be ♪ 945 00:33:33,377 --> 00:33:37,319 ♪ Because the reindeer cannot climb the hills of Italy ♪ 946 00:33:37,352 --> 00:33:38,321 ♪ Hey, jing-a-di-jing ♪ 947 00:33:38,354 --> 00:33:39,824 Now together, yeah. 948 00:33:39,857 --> 00:33:42,195 ♪ It's Dominick the donkey, jing-a-di-jing ♪ 949 00:33:42,228 --> 00:33:44,166 MICHELLE: You understand what I'm telling you though? 950 00:33:44,199 --> 00:33:45,703 -STEVEN: Yes. Okay. The woman says what to you? -MICHELLE: Okay? 951 00:33:45,736 --> 00:33:47,540 And then she said again. 952 00:33:47,573 --> 00:33:48,575 "What is your last name?" 953 00:33:48,608 --> 00:33:50,178 And I'm like, "Fucking Berzatto." 954 00:33:50,211 --> 00:33:52,416 "“Oh marone! Berzatto!"” 955 00:33:52,449 --> 00:33:54,621 B-E-R-Z-A-T-T-O. 956 00:33:54,654 --> 00:33:56,324 "O." 957 00:33:56,357 --> 00:33:57,426 You're an asshole. 958 00:33:57,459 --> 00:33:59,196 And then she's, and then she's like, 959 00:33:59,229 --> 00:34:01,300 "I bet you know a lot about bears." 960 00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:03,772 God damn her for thinking that you know about bears. 961 00:34:03,805 --> 00:34:04,874 Yeah. Damn her. 962 00:34:04,907 --> 00:34:07,512 And how did that incredibly deep, 963 00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:09,584 incredibly penetrating insult make you feel? 964 00:34:09,617 --> 00:34:11,588 -Like I was gonna roll that bitch. -Yeah, roll that bitch. 965 00:34:11,621 --> 00:34:13,391 Okay, now I feel like you're missing some details here. 966 00:34:13,424 --> 00:34:15,395 You want... Okay. You wanted to fight this woman? 967 00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:16,598 So were you being an asshole maybe? 968 00:34:16,631 --> 00:34:17,700 What do you mean? 969 00:34:17,733 --> 00:34:19,571 Well, you just said that you wanted to fight her, 970 00:34:19,604 --> 00:34:22,175 so I asked if perhaps it was you that was the asshole. 971 00:34:22,208 --> 00:34:24,848 Um, are you listening? Hello? I am not the asshole. 972 00:34:24,881 --> 00:34:26,484 -She's the asshole? -That is a fact. 973 00:34:26,517 --> 00:34:28,589 And you go around rolling assholes. 974 00:34:28,622 --> 00:34:29,591 That is also a fact. 975 00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:30,926 Okay, I'm caught up. 976 00:34:30,959 --> 00:34:33,599 Okay. Anyway, so-so she says to me, 977 00:34:33,632 --> 00:34:37,472 She finally says to me, "My friend who passed away--" 978 00:34:37,505 --> 00:34:39,343 -FAK: Sorry for your loss. -It's not her friend. 979 00:34:39,376 --> 00:34:41,514 MICHELLE: You don't have to apologize to me, dude. 980 00:34:41,548 --> 00:34:43,518 I don't know this fucking woman. 981 00:34:43,552 --> 00:34:45,756 -This woman was, like, annoying. -RICHIE: Pay attention, Neil. Pay attention. 982 00:34:45,789 --> 00:34:48,494 Why don't you listen to my story? 983 00:34:48,527 --> 00:34:50,800 He's gotten to know her so well. This story is taking so long. 984 00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:51,668 Yeah, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. 985 00:34:51,702 --> 00:34:53,204 The point is, she finally says to me, 986 00:34:53,237 --> 00:34:54,506 "I have a friend who passed away. 987 00:34:54,540 --> 00:34:56,812 "She was a biologist, and she studied bears. 988 00:34:56,845 --> 00:35:00,317 "And did you know that bears are kind and-and sensitive 989 00:35:00,685 --> 00:35:04,694 "and devoted and also, um, altruistic and empathetic 990 00:35:04,727 --> 00:35:07,667 "and-and very commonly known to be adept at grieving? 991 00:35:07,700 --> 00:35:10,505 -Is this true? -How the fuck would I possibly know? 992 00:35:10,539 --> 00:35:12,643 I-I couldn't tell if this bitch was trying to fuck with me or not. 993 00:35:12,676 --> 00:35:15,281 Did you say to her, just be kind and empathetic like a bear? 994 00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:17,553 -Yes, I did. -RICHIE: That all does check out. 995 00:35:17,586 --> 00:35:19,355 I share a lot of those traits actually. 996 00:35:19,723 --> 00:35:22,262 Also, it is important to note 997 00:35:22,295 --> 00:35:24,934 that bears are incredibly, incredibly aggressive. 998 00:35:24,967 --> 00:35:26,370 And how were you related to them again? 999 00:35:26,403 --> 00:35:27,305 -Through friendship. -TED: Yeah. 1000 00:35:27,338 --> 00:35:28,776 -Like us. -Not like you. 1001 00:35:28,809 --> 00:35:30,679 FAK: Yeah. We're related through friendship. 1002 00:35:30,712 --> 00:35:32,650 -Whoa, whoa, whoa. -Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1003 00:35:32,683 --> 00:35:35,723 I was hiking once in Northern California, 1004 00:35:35,756 --> 00:35:38,729 and I saw a bear run up a tree so goddamn fast, 1005 00:35:38,762 --> 00:35:40,699 and I did not like it at all. 1006 00:35:40,732 --> 00:35:43,271 When were you in Northern California? 1007 00:35:43,304 --> 00:35:45,709 Um, most of my life before we met? 1008 00:35:45,742 --> 00:35:47,279 And very weird that you are now 1009 00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:48,949 acting like I never told you I'm from California. 1010 00:35:48,982 --> 00:35:50,318 What's super weird is that 1011 00:35:50,351 --> 00:35:51,888 you just said Northern California. 1012 00:35:51,921 --> 00:35:52,957 That was weird how I said it. 1013 00:35:52,990 --> 00:35:54,561 I thought it sounded elegant. 1014 00:35:54,594 --> 00:35:55,830 -Super elegant. -TED: Yeah. 1015 00:35:55,863 --> 00:35:57,700 Carmel-by-the-Sea, looking at-- 1016 00:35:57,733 --> 00:35:59,269 Bing-bong. What you guys talking about? 1017 00:35:59,302 --> 00:36:00,806 STEVEN: Bears. 1018 00:36:00,839 --> 00:36:03,946 Oh! 85? 41? 63? 1019 00:36:03,979 --> 00:36:05,716 -Where are we at? -No, the animal. 1020 00:36:05,749 --> 00:36:07,419 Oh, Mongo. Hey. 1021 00:36:07,452 --> 00:36:09,958 -What up, pimp? -838 career tackles. 1022 00:36:09,991 --> 00:36:11,026 -Get some. -TED: Get some. Take us there. 1023 00:36:11,059 --> 00:36:12,496 STEVEN: A... a real bear. 1024 00:36:12,529 --> 00:36:13,565 -Take us there. -Thank you, sir. 1025 00:36:13,598 --> 00:36:14,868 LEE: Yeah. Steve McMichael. 1026 00:36:14,901 --> 00:36:16,638 Yeah. The man. 1027 00:36:16,671 --> 00:36:19,376 MICHELLE: We are talking about an actual animal, 1028 00:36:19,409 --> 00:36:20,579 not a baseball player. 1029 00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:21,848 Oh, God. 1030 00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:23,619 These holidays are exhausting. 1031 00:36:23,652 --> 00:36:24,854 -(cutlery clattering) -(indistinct yelling) 1032 00:36:24,887 --> 00:36:27,058 -DONNA: Okay. Oh, fuck! -What the hell was that? 1033 00:36:27,091 --> 00:36:29,463 Yeah, it's just some crazy person yelling "fuck." 1034 00:36:29,496 --> 00:36:31,601 -I'm gonna go lend Auntie D a hand. -ALL: No, no, no, no, no. 1035 00:36:31,634 --> 00:36:33,337 -LEE: Let him, let him. -TED: Do not do that. 1036 00:36:33,370 --> 00:36:35,743 Go ahead, there's a garlic bulb and a cross by the door. 1037 00:36:35,776 --> 00:36:37,312 Just don't make eye contact. 1038 00:36:37,345 --> 00:36:38,615 -Be careful. -I'm sure she could use 1039 00:36:38,648 --> 00:36:40,986 an extra pair of hands in there. Excuse me. 1040 00:36:41,019 --> 00:36:42,757 -Steven. Steven. -(overlapping chatter) 1041 00:36:42,790 --> 00:36:44,861 There he goes. Don't get your hand near her mouth. 1042 00:36:44,894 --> 00:36:46,397 MICHELLE: This is a bad idea. 1043 00:36:46,430 --> 00:36:47,699 -It's gonna go well. -MICHELLE: I don't think so. 1044 00:36:48,702 --> 00:36:52,643 ♪ I want you ♪ 1045 00:36:53,111 --> 00:36:54,747 ♪ I want you right now ♪ 1046 00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:56,785 (vocalizing) 1047 00:36:56,818 --> 00:36:58,387 (ringing) 1048 00:37:01,861 --> 00:37:02,830 SUGAR: That looks good. 1049 00:37:02,863 --> 00:37:04,900 -DONNA: Oh, fucking shit! -Okay, okay, okay. 1050 00:37:05,334 --> 00:37:07,640 -DONNA: Fuck! -It's okay, Ma. I got it. I got it. I got it. 1051 00:37:07,673 --> 00:37:10,546 -It's like I fuckin' have to do everything for everyone. -SUGAR: No, no, no. 1052 00:37:10,579 --> 00:37:12,817 No one fucking lifts a finger to help me. 1053 00:37:12,850 --> 00:37:14,621 Look, I'm getting it right now. 1054 00:37:14,654 --> 00:37:18,361 Can you just go upstairs and get Dad's gun out of my drawer, 1055 00:37:18,394 --> 00:37:20,900 and I think I'm just gonna blow my fuckin' brains out, 1056 00:37:20,933 --> 00:37:22,537 and then you guys can make dinner, 1057 00:37:22,570 --> 00:37:25,375 because I don't think anyone would fuckin' miss me. 1058 00:37:25,408 --> 00:37:27,647 -No, no, Ma, Ma, you're good. -Yes, you can finish dinner. 1059 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,784 -You're good. You're okay! -DONNA: You won't even miss me. 1060 00:37:29,817 --> 00:37:30,986 -You're okay! You're okay! -DONNA: You won't even-- 1061 00:37:31,019 --> 00:37:33,959 -Hey, Donna, Aunt D do you-- -Oh, motherfucking asshole! 1062 00:37:33,992 --> 00:37:34,928 -Fuck! Fuck! -Out, out. 1063 00:37:34,961 --> 00:37:36,397 -Fuck! Come on! -SUGAR: Okay. 1064 00:37:36,430 --> 00:37:38,400 -DONNA: Get the fuck out! -Yeah. Okay. 1065 00:37:38,768 --> 00:37:41,641 Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take this out. 1066 00:37:41,674 --> 00:37:44,780 (ringing) 1067 00:37:46,483 --> 00:37:47,753 I'm gonna take this out. 1068 00:37:50,826 --> 00:37:52,663 -Natalie? -Yeah. 1069 00:37:52,696 --> 00:37:53,765 You okay? 1070 00:37:55,134 --> 00:37:56,805 Will... Will you hug me? 1071 00:37:56,838 --> 00:37:58,073 Yeah, of course. 1072 00:38:03,652 --> 00:38:06,558 (indistinct conversations) 1073 00:38:06,591 --> 00:38:08,895 (sighs deeply) 1074 00:38:08,928 --> 00:38:10,064 (sniffles) 1075 00:38:16,009 --> 00:38:17,779 They won't fuckin miss me. 1076 00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:27,633 Things are like, you know, 1077 00:38:27,666 --> 00:38:30,171 really starting to spiral out of fucking control. 1078 00:38:30,204 --> 00:38:32,843 Oh, we are past the point of no return. 1079 00:38:32,876 --> 00:38:34,446 It's not good, you know. 1080 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:37,452 (stammers) And now it's like the next morning, right? 1081 00:38:37,485 --> 00:38:39,590 And we're like, fucking rocked. Rocked! 1082 00:38:39,623 --> 00:38:41,828 Like, I look over at him and I'm like... 1083 00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:44,099 Well, Jesus fucking Christ, man. I'm like... 1084 00:38:44,132 --> 00:38:46,403 Because I'm looking at you and I don't even recognize you. 1085 00:38:46,436 --> 00:38:47,172 MIKEY: It's like a monster. 1086 00:38:47,205 --> 00:38:48,809 (growling) 1087 00:38:48,842 --> 00:38:50,411 (overlapping chatter) -RICHIE: I'm like, Michael? 1088 00:38:50,444 --> 00:38:52,515 Yeah, because you look like a fucking monster, bro. 1089 00:38:52,549 --> 00:38:54,787 I was like, "Mikey?" I couldn't even tell if it was-- 1090 00:38:54,820 --> 00:38:56,190 (imitating Richie crying) "Mikey, where are we?" 1091 00:38:56,223 --> 00:38:57,927 RICHIE: That's... That's not... That's not exactly... 1092 00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,096 -That's not exactly right. -Scared as shit. He was! 1093 00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,467 -That's exactly right. -RICHIE: That's not exactly true. 1094 00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:03,437 -MIKEY: We didn't know where the fuck we were. -FAK: Well, you were rocked. 1095 00:39:03,470 --> 00:39:04,874 We're in a foreign land. You know what I mean? 1096 00:39:04,907 --> 00:39:06,878 And it's like, you know, you can't read shit 1097 00:39:06,911 --> 00:39:09,082 because it's all, like, a different fucking alphabet. 1098 00:39:09,115 --> 00:39:10,886 You can't fucking, like, understand shit. 1099 00:39:10,919 --> 00:39:14,459 We just know we gotta get to a fucking ATM, you know. 1100 00:39:14,492 --> 00:39:16,731 We've heard this story a million times. 1101 00:39:20,772 --> 00:39:22,108 -I'm sorry? -The story. 1102 00:39:22,141 --> 00:39:24,580 -Yeah, what? -We've heard it a million times. 1103 00:39:27,619 --> 00:39:29,489 No, Lee, like, you have. 1104 00:39:29,522 --> 00:39:31,093 -And cousin has. -I haven't. 1105 00:39:31,126 --> 00:39:32,963 -I have, but I like it. -It's a good story. 1106 00:39:32,996 --> 00:39:34,867 Yeah, Lee, chill out or fuck off. 1107 00:39:34,900 --> 00:39:36,103 -Keep going. -Let us tell the fucking story. 1108 00:39:36,136 --> 00:39:37,640 Anyways, we have to find an ATM. 1109 00:39:37,673 --> 00:39:39,109 LEE: No no no, I'll finish it. I'll finish it. 1110 00:39:39,142 --> 00:39:41,848 You sold the car, and then at the end, 1111 00:39:41,881 --> 00:39:43,150 you find the horse. 1112 00:39:45,922 --> 00:39:48,695 Good for you, Lee, that's... that's great. 1113 00:39:49,964 --> 00:39:51,668 You're like a real, genuine fucking asshole. 1114 00:39:51,701 --> 00:39:53,070 Because-because I cut off the story that 1115 00:39:53,103 --> 00:39:54,172 you've told a million times? 1116 00:39:54,205 --> 00:39:55,642 Why don't you finish a business plan? 1117 00:39:55,675 --> 00:39:56,911 Alright, that's enough. 1118 00:39:56,944 --> 00:39:58,882 Where's the tomato sauce prospectus, Michael? 1119 00:39:58,915 --> 00:40:01,487 -Where's the frozen pizza plan? -MICHELLE: Come on, you're veering. 1120 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:02,656 That's, uh, that's enough. 1121 00:40:02,689 --> 00:40:03,691 It's okay. 1122 00:40:04,794 --> 00:40:06,597 -Hi, Unc. -CICERO: Hey, honey. 1123 00:40:07,766 --> 00:40:08,968 Fuck's going on in here? 1124 00:40:09,970 --> 00:40:11,941 This jagoff's talkin' shit. 1125 00:40:11,974 --> 00:40:14,212 -Yeah? Which jagoff? -This jagoff. 1126 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:15,749 CICERO: What about, jagoff? 1127 00:40:15,782 --> 00:40:18,688 That is, I guess about how I, like, don't finish shit. 1128 00:40:18,721 --> 00:40:20,826 Not stories. He finishes those over and over. 1129 00:40:20,859 --> 00:40:21,961 Mikey, I mean, come on. 1130 00:40:21,994 --> 00:40:24,265 -MIKEY: Perfect. -PETE: Ho, ho, ho! 1131 00:40:25,869 --> 00:40:27,205 We got a tuna casserole delivery 1132 00:40:27,238 --> 00:40:28,742 from the North Pole here. 1133 00:40:28,775 --> 00:40:30,779 -Speaking of jagoffs. -STEVEN: Hey. 1134 00:40:30,812 --> 00:40:32,515 PETE: Mikey, what is up, bro? 1135 00:40:32,917 --> 00:40:34,687 You know it's seven fishes, right, Pete? 1136 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:35,689 Yeah, I know. That's why I brought this. 1137 00:40:35,722 --> 00:40:37,058 That's the eighth fish, bro. 1138 00:40:37,091 --> 00:40:38,562 Oh, what, we can't have one more? 1139 00:40:38,595 --> 00:40:40,164 LEE: That makes absolutely no sense. 1140 00:40:40,197 --> 00:40:41,934 I mean, I can't even figure the logic of that. 1141 00:40:42,970 --> 00:40:44,072 What? 1142 00:40:44,940 --> 00:40:46,509 You're so fucked. 1143 00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:49,584 Uh... 'Sup, Steve? 1144 00:40:49,617 --> 00:40:50,919 Hey, Pete, thanks for bringing fish. 1145 00:40:50,952 --> 00:40:52,690 -PETE: Yeah, thanks. -CARMY: (claps) Hey, family. 1146 00:40:52,723 --> 00:40:53,992 Come on, let's sit. Okay, dinner's ready, alright. 1147 00:40:54,025 --> 00:40:55,562 -Hey, no way, Carmy! -Hey. 1148 00:40:55,595 --> 00:40:56,831 -What's up, brother? -Hey, hey, hey. 1149 00:40:56,864 --> 00:40:58,000 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is that? What is that? 1150 00:40:58,033 --> 00:40:59,637 -Don't tell him. -MIKEY: What do you mean don't tell him? 1151 00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:00,939 It's nothing. It's nothing. 1152 00:41:00,972 --> 00:41:02,777 Steve? Steve? Stevie? What is that? What is it? 1153 00:41:02,810 --> 00:41:04,246 You're gonna be upset, but his heart was in the right place, Carm. 1154 00:41:04,279 --> 00:41:05,815 -It's a tuna casserole. -What-- 1155 00:41:08,020 --> 00:41:09,857 -It's seven fishes. Pete. -PETE: I know. 1156 00:41:09,890 --> 00:41:11,995 -They didn't communicate-- -CARMY: This would make eight fishes. 1157 00:41:12,028 --> 00:41:13,264 That-that would make us assholes, right? 1158 00:41:13,297 --> 00:41:14,499 I already told him that. 1159 00:41:14,533 --> 00:41:16,738 -MICHELLE: Swing and a miss. -Why are you doing this to me? 1160 00:41:16,771 --> 00:41:18,240 -PETE: Okay. I-- -Just don't let her fuckin' see it. 1161 00:41:18,273 --> 00:41:19,944 -I-- -Don't let her fucking see it. 1162 00:41:19,977 --> 00:41:21,581 I didn't know because... 1163 00:41:21,614 --> 00:41:22,616 What's up, bro? 1164 00:41:22,649 --> 00:41:23,885 -Hey, Rich. -Hey. 1165 00:41:23,918 --> 00:41:25,288 -I'm so happy to see you. -Hey, there's my girl. 1166 00:41:25,321 --> 00:41:27,292 Oh, my God. 1167 00:41:27,325 --> 00:41:29,029 -Merry Christmas. -What the fuck is that? 1168 00:41:29,062 --> 00:41:30,766 -Um... -No. Pete. 1169 00:41:30,799 --> 00:41:32,636 Pete, I told you not to fucking do this. 1170 00:41:32,669 --> 00:41:34,574 I know, but... Well, I can't show up empty-handed. 1171 00:41:34,607 --> 00:41:35,708 SUGAR: Ugh, it stinks. 1172 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:39,215 Fuck! 1173 00:41:43,892 --> 00:41:45,629 Well, merry Christmas, guys. 1174 00:41:45,662 --> 00:41:46,631 Maybe somewhere. 1175 00:41:46,664 --> 00:41:48,902 I understand you were just trying to be nice. 1176 00:41:48,935 --> 00:41:50,204 Thanks, Steve. 1177 00:41:50,973 --> 00:41:52,776 Good lights in the neighborhood this year. 1178 00:41:52,809 --> 00:41:54,045 LEE: Same as last year. 1179 00:41:54,078 --> 00:41:55,047 PETE: No, there's more this year. I noticed-- 1180 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:56,115 LEE: Really, you counted 'em? 1181 00:41:56,149 --> 00:41:58,387 Do the Andersons still live on the corner there? 1182 00:41:58,420 --> 00:41:59,991 -They're doing it up. -They died. 1183 00:42:00,024 --> 00:42:01,260 You knock on every door? 1184 00:42:01,293 --> 00:42:02,361 Okay. 1185 00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:04,166 Is the bathroom still right here? 1186 00:42:04,199 --> 00:42:05,367 Yep. It's over there. 1187 00:42:10,411 --> 00:42:11,947 -MICHELLE: Hey. -Hey. 1188 00:42:12,415 --> 00:42:13,718 MICHELLE: How you doing? 1189 00:42:14,252 --> 00:42:15,889 -Yeah, you know... -You okay? 1190 00:42:16,624 --> 00:42:18,060 I've been wanting to talk to you. 1191 00:42:18,093 --> 00:42:19,797 You've been running around like crazy. 1192 00:42:19,830 --> 00:42:20,799 CARMY: Yeah, it's a lot, so... 1193 00:42:20,832 --> 00:42:21,967 Yeah, it's a lot. 1194 00:42:22,970 --> 00:42:23,905 CARMY: Yeah. 1195 00:42:25,241 --> 00:42:26,710 I have this idea 1196 00:42:27,411 --> 00:42:29,382 and I just wonder if maybe you'd be open to it. 1197 00:42:29,750 --> 00:42:31,386 -What's up? -MICHELLE: Like for your own good. 1198 00:42:32,723 --> 00:42:33,925 What is it? What is it? 1199 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,162 You wanna come stay with me 1200 00:42:36,529 --> 00:42:38,100 for, like, a couple of days in New York? 1201 00:42:38,133 --> 00:42:39,068 Just like... 1202 00:42:40,204 --> 00:42:41,808 get the fuck outta here? 1203 00:42:41,841 --> 00:42:43,277 -Yeah. -MICHELLE: You know. 1204 00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:45,414 I think it's really important for you to 1205 00:42:45,447 --> 00:42:47,184 keep your head in the game, you know. 1206 00:42:47,686 --> 00:42:51,059 Stay focused. Keep your eye on the motherfuckin' prize. 1207 00:42:51,092 --> 00:42:52,796 Yeah. No, I hear you. Um... 1208 00:42:54,065 --> 00:42:55,300 Yeah, no, I'd like that. 1209 00:42:55,935 --> 00:42:57,906 I'm gonna kinda hold you to it, Carm. 1210 00:42:58,273 --> 00:42:59,943 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1211 00:43:00,344 --> 00:43:02,816 This is, um, this isn't good for your head. 1212 00:43:02,849 --> 00:43:03,919 It's not good for anyone's head, 1213 00:43:03,952 --> 00:43:05,087 but it's really not good for yours. 1214 00:43:06,857 --> 00:43:08,193 -Yeah, I know, I know. -Yeah, so... 1215 00:43:08,226 --> 00:43:09,963 But you know, what are you supposed to do? You know? 1216 00:43:11,166 --> 00:43:12,368 You gotta get outta here. 1217 00:43:13,303 --> 00:43:14,907 That's what you gotta do. 1218 00:43:14,940 --> 00:43:17,211 You just come stay with me any time you want. 1219 00:43:18,347 --> 00:43:20,084 I got a couple of restaurants. 1220 00:43:20,117 --> 00:43:21,721 I mean, I'm an idiot about this shit, 1221 00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:22,856 but I think they're very good. 1222 00:43:22,889 --> 00:43:24,326 -You like 'em? Yeah. -I do. 1223 00:43:24,359 --> 00:43:27,799 And then that way you can just, like, decompress. 1224 00:43:30,170 --> 00:43:32,242 -Okay? -Okay. 1225 00:43:32,275 --> 00:43:35,014 I see what happens here, you know, 1226 00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:36,784 and I can see how it gets in your head. 1227 00:43:37,352 --> 00:43:38,854 -Yeah. -And I don't want that for you. 1228 00:43:39,488 --> 00:43:40,490 -Okay. Thank you. -MICHELLE: Okay? 1229 00:43:40,524 --> 00:43:43,396 -Yeah. -So you're gonna come? Stay with me? 1230 00:43:45,802 --> 00:43:46,770 I'll try. 1231 00:43:50,277 --> 00:43:51,379 Thank you. 1232 00:43:51,681 --> 00:43:52,983 Keep going. 1233 00:43:54,887 --> 00:43:55,856 I hear you. 1234 00:43:55,889 --> 00:43:57,124 -Okay. -Okay. 1235 00:43:59,062 --> 00:44:01,065 -MICHELLE: Love you. -Alright, you too. 1236 00:44:05,942 --> 00:44:08,882 RICHIE: Oh wow. Nice. 1237 00:44:08,915 --> 00:44:10,518 TIFF: Just keeps goin'. 1238 00:44:10,552 --> 00:44:12,322 RICHIE: Table looks great, D. 1239 00:44:12,355 --> 00:44:13,858 What do you want? Where should we? 1240 00:44:13,891 --> 00:44:14,994 -RICHIE: Hey, we're over there. -TIFF: Okay, cool. 1241 00:44:15,027 --> 00:44:16,798 Fuck me with a stick. 1242 00:44:16,831 --> 00:44:18,433 -RICHIE: Scooch forward. -Okay. 1243 00:44:20,004 --> 00:44:21,139 Oh. You're sweet. 1244 00:44:22,441 --> 00:44:23,410 Thank you for that. 1245 00:44:23,443 --> 00:44:24,747 Okay. 1246 00:44:24,780 --> 00:44:25,949 CICERO: You feeling better, hon? 1247 00:44:26,283 --> 00:44:27,452 Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Unc. 1248 00:44:27,485 --> 00:44:29,155 I think a banana is about 1249 00:44:29,188 --> 00:44:31,326 all I can handle right now. 1250 00:44:31,359 --> 00:44:32,796 Maybe about all I can handle, too. 1251 00:44:32,829 --> 00:44:34,298 I sense this getting dark. 1252 00:44:35,167 --> 00:44:38,140 -God, you got that feeling? -CICERO: Mm-hmm. 1253 00:44:38,173 --> 00:44:39,209 Oh, yeah, I got that feeling. 1254 00:44:39,242 --> 00:44:40,344 I'm right there with you, Unc. 1255 00:44:40,377 --> 00:44:42,983 We lit. This Christmas is lit. 1256 00:44:43,552 --> 00:44:45,454 You ever have a chocolate-covered banana, Tiff? 1257 00:44:45,487 --> 00:44:46,958 Yeah, of course I have. 1258 00:44:46,991 --> 00:44:48,794 You know, the drive out here we actually, uh, 1259 00:44:49,128 --> 00:44:51,066 we passed the stand 1260 00:44:51,099 --> 00:44:53,436 my dad used to take me to get 'em. 1261 00:44:53,738 --> 00:44:56,276 I swear to God, I can smell 'em, you know, and him. 1262 00:44:56,578 --> 00:44:58,882 -TIFF: (chuckles softly) Hmm. -It's weird, right? 1263 00:44:58,915 --> 00:45:02,322 We remember smells. Cologne, you know. 1264 00:45:02,355 --> 00:45:05,829 Anyway, it's kinda been, uh, sitting with me, you know, 1265 00:45:05,862 --> 00:45:07,833 -sitting on my chest. -TIFF: Mm-hmm. Yeah. 1266 00:45:07,866 --> 00:45:09,369 And all of a sudden, after all these years, 1267 00:45:09,402 --> 00:45:10,337 I'm missing that fat fuck. 1268 00:45:11,339 --> 00:45:13,344 Anyway, and here you are, you're eating a banana. 1269 00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:15,013 -Anyways, kinda funny. -Well... 1270 00:45:15,548 --> 00:45:17,385 Funny that it's the holidays, too. 1271 00:45:17,418 --> 00:45:18,453 -You know. -CICERO: Hmm. 1272 00:45:19,155 --> 00:45:20,926 All comes back up, doesn't it? 1273 00:45:20,959 --> 00:45:22,095 It sure does come back up. 1274 00:45:22,128 --> 00:45:23,197 -CICERO: Oh, boy. -Oh. 1275 00:45:23,230 --> 00:45:25,000 -CICERO: Oh, I get it. -(Tiff laughs) 1276 00:45:25,033 --> 00:45:26,804 -That's clever. -Is it clever or gross? 1277 00:45:26,837 --> 00:45:29,175 -(indistinct chatter) -(laughter) 1278 00:45:31,881 --> 00:45:33,517 (indistinct chatter) 1279 00:45:33,551 --> 00:45:36,456 -Do you mind sitting at the kiddie table? -I don't mind at all. 1280 00:45:36,489 --> 00:45:38,127 MICHELLE: You can sit at the kiddie table. 1281 00:45:38,160 --> 00:45:39,963 -I would prefer to sit at the kiddie table. -(laughter) 1282 00:45:41,166 --> 00:45:42,535 Who wants wine? Want some wine? 1283 00:45:42,569 --> 00:45:44,806 FAK: ...understand the market. 1284 00:45:45,140 --> 00:45:48,213 MICHELLE: It has a lovely bouquet. 1285 00:45:48,246 --> 00:45:49,884 I like your shirt, it looks good. 1286 00:45:49,917 --> 00:45:51,386 He looks like Clark Kent in his glasses. 1287 00:45:53,423 --> 00:45:55,928 (indistinct conversations) 1288 00:45:59,335 --> 00:46:02,341 Oh. Oh, I'm such an asshole. I wanted to say thank you. 1289 00:46:02,374 --> 00:46:04,145 -What for, darling? -Oh, for giving Richie a chance. 1290 00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:05,347 Oh, what? No, no, no. Wh... 1291 00:46:05,380 --> 00:46:06,951 -Uh, babe. Um... -TIFF: What? Wh... 1292 00:46:06,984 --> 00:46:08,420 -You're embarrassed to say it? -RICHIE: No, no, no, no. 1293 00:46:08,453 --> 00:46:09,890 -I can't talk about it? -It's just not public information yet. 1294 00:46:09,923 --> 00:46:11,159 -Just wanted to say thank you. -We're just... 1295 00:46:11,192 --> 00:46:12,563 -What's not public information? -RICHIE: Uh... 1296 00:46:12,596 --> 00:46:14,299 You know, Tiff and I were talking earlier, 1297 00:46:14,332 --> 00:46:15,569 and I was just letting her know a little bit about how-- 1298 00:46:15,602 --> 00:46:16,571 What's not public information? 1299 00:46:16,604 --> 00:46:18,173 -Just how like when we... -CICERO: Richard. 1300 00:46:18,206 --> 00:46:19,442 Richard, shut the fuck up. 1301 00:46:19,475 --> 00:46:21,012 Richard, I'm talking to Tiffany. 1302 00:46:21,045 --> 00:46:22,181 I know, but we were just saying, like, um... 1303 00:46:22,214 --> 00:46:24,418 CICERO: Richard... shut up. 1304 00:46:24,887 --> 00:46:26,857 I'm having a conversation with your wife. 1305 00:46:27,826 --> 00:46:29,663 -Tiffany, what were you saying, my dear? -Wh... Yeah. 1306 00:46:29,696 --> 00:46:31,433 I don't know what the fuck is going on here, 1307 00:46:31,466 --> 00:46:32,468 'cause I was just gonna thank you 1308 00:46:32,501 --> 00:46:33,571 for giving Richie a job. 1309 00:46:33,604 --> 00:46:35,307 See, that's not entirely... 1310 00:46:35,340 --> 00:46:36,577 -TIFF: It's not true? -RICHIE: No. 1311 00:46:36,610 --> 00:46:37,746 Is that not what's happening here? 1312 00:46:37,779 --> 00:46:39,917 -RICHIE: It's not not true. -TIFF: He told me that... 1313 00:46:39,950 --> 00:46:41,152 Un-fucking-believable. 1314 00:46:41,821 --> 00:46:43,891 -He told you I gave him a job? -Yeah, he told me he... 1315 00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:46,263 Yeah, he told me that you gave him a job. 1316 00:46:46,296 --> 00:46:47,264 CICERO: Okay, look. 1317 00:46:49,101 --> 00:46:50,070 Here's the truth, alright? 1318 00:46:50,103 --> 00:46:51,941 I mean, you know, I'm a big fan of this guy. 1319 00:46:51,974 --> 00:46:53,176 I believe in him. I do. 1320 00:47:00,625 --> 00:47:02,629 Which is precisely why I gave him a fucking job. 1321 00:47:02,662 --> 00:47:04,131 Right? 1322 00:47:05,501 --> 00:47:07,972 Thing is, I just wanna keep a lid on it for now 1323 00:47:08,574 --> 00:47:11,614 because I don't want every jagoff in all of the land 1324 00:47:11,647 --> 00:47:13,317 to know that I have all these jobs to give out, 1325 00:47:13,350 --> 00:47:14,318 which I don't. 1326 00:47:14,987 --> 00:47:16,356 Alright? 1327 00:47:16,389 --> 00:47:17,458 Right, Richard? 1328 00:47:19,328 --> 00:47:21,567 -Yeah. -I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. 1329 00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,237 -I didn't know I wasn't supposed to say anything. -No, no. 1330 00:47:23,270 --> 00:47:25,174 My darling, how could you know? 1331 00:47:25,207 --> 00:47:26,510 TIFF: And I promise you, I will not say, 1332 00:47:26,544 --> 00:47:28,948 I will not say a word until you say that it's okay. 1333 00:47:28,981 --> 00:47:31,085 But I just wanna say thank you so much 1334 00:47:31,587 --> 00:47:33,390 'cause we really appreciate you. 1335 00:47:33,423 --> 00:47:34,626 And I appreciate you, too. 1336 00:47:36,262 --> 00:47:37,498 The both of you. 1337 00:47:37,531 --> 00:47:38,701 (indistinct chatter) 1338 00:47:40,370 --> 00:47:41,940 (mouths) Thank you. 1339 00:47:45,247 --> 00:47:46,182 TIFF: Oh, yeah. 1340 00:47:47,986 --> 00:47:49,389 Like, do I have to wait? Can I pick? 1341 00:47:49,422 --> 00:47:50,659 CARMY: She'll be out in a minute. 1342 00:47:50,692 --> 00:47:52,061 She'll be out in a minute, I think. 1343 00:47:52,094 --> 00:47:53,263 -MICHELLE: Can I pick? -Yeah, yeah. 1344 00:47:53,296 --> 00:47:54,532 Do you care? 1345 00:47:54,566 --> 00:47:55,500 CAROL: Go for it. 1346 00:47:55,534 --> 00:47:57,606 MICHELLE: Don't we have to say grace? 1347 00:47:57,639 --> 00:47:59,508 -CARMY: Yeah, she'll, she'll be, she'll just be a minute. -Yeah. 1348 00:48:01,112 --> 00:48:02,314 (sniffles sharply) 1349 00:48:03,584 --> 00:48:04,518 (sighs) 1350 00:48:05,087 --> 00:48:06,757 -(sniffles) -CARMY: What's up, Ma? 1351 00:48:06,790 --> 00:48:08,427 (coughs) 1352 00:48:08,460 --> 00:48:09,528 I'm fine. 1353 00:48:10,798 --> 00:48:12,100 I'm good. 1354 00:48:13,203 --> 00:48:14,405 CARMY: Hey. 1355 00:48:14,438 --> 00:48:15,507 (Carmy clears throat) 1356 00:48:16,076 --> 00:48:18,548 Everybody's sitting down now. 1357 00:48:18,581 --> 00:48:20,250 You know, everything looks so beautiful. 1358 00:48:26,597 --> 00:48:29,134 I don't think I can do this by myself anymore. 1359 00:48:30,805 --> 00:48:32,407 You're not by yourself, alright? 1360 00:48:33,476 --> 00:48:36,182 I'm right here with you. 1361 00:48:36,215 --> 00:48:37,986 DONNA: Well, yeah, now, but... 1362 00:48:39,756 --> 00:48:41,393 Nobody out there gives a shit about me. 1363 00:48:41,426 --> 00:48:42,427 CARMY: That's not true. 1364 00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:47,038 That's not true. We all love you so much. 1365 00:48:47,071 --> 00:48:48,541 (indistinct conversations) 1366 00:48:51,547 --> 00:48:53,149 I had to beg you to come home. 1367 00:48:55,622 --> 00:48:57,090 I'm happy to be here. 1368 00:48:58,093 --> 00:49:00,197 Okay? 1369 00:49:00,230 --> 00:49:02,569 I am. Mom, I'm really happy to see you. 1370 00:49:03,638 --> 00:49:05,240 Hey. Really. 1371 00:49:06,109 --> 00:49:07,311 Okay? 1372 00:49:07,344 --> 00:49:08,714 -(cries) Okay. -CARMY: Okay. 1373 00:49:09,081 --> 00:49:11,186 -(sniffles) -Okay. It's okay. 1374 00:49:11,219 --> 00:49:13,289 I just, I worked all day for them. 1375 00:49:13,691 --> 00:49:16,128 -I worked all day. -I know. I know. 1376 00:49:16,630 --> 00:49:19,134 Everybody-everybody really appreciates it, too. 1377 00:49:20,203 --> 00:49:21,673 DONNA: It's just fucking hard. 1378 00:49:24,378 --> 00:49:26,148 CARMY: (sighs) Why, um... 1379 00:49:27,518 --> 00:49:29,455 What's hard? What's hard, Mom? What is it? 1380 00:49:33,129 --> 00:49:35,200 I make things beautiful for them... 1381 00:49:38,373 --> 00:49:39,275 and... 1382 00:49:40,044 --> 00:49:42,447 no one makes things beautiful for me. 1383 00:49:50,765 --> 00:49:52,234 Okay. Um... 1384 00:49:53,704 --> 00:49:54,539 Look, I'm gonna go, uh, 1385 00:49:54,573 --> 00:49:55,641 I'm gonna go... I'm gonna sit down now. 1386 00:49:55,675 --> 00:49:57,579 Why don't you give me your hand and we'll go sit? 1387 00:49:57,612 --> 00:49:58,581 -We'll go sit. -No. Okay. 1388 00:49:58,614 --> 00:49:59,717 CARMY: Come on, Mom. Come on. 1389 00:49:59,750 --> 00:50:01,285 I'll go in a minute. 1390 00:50:03,123 --> 00:50:04,192 CARMY: Alright. Well, I'll just wait. 1391 00:50:04,225 --> 00:50:05,093 -I'll wait for you. -Okay, Michael. 1392 00:50:06,229 --> 00:50:07,364 I'll be there in a minute. 1393 00:50:10,170 --> 00:50:11,238 I said go. 1394 00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,414 CARMY: Okay. Um... 1395 00:50:15,447 --> 00:50:17,151 -I said go. -CARMY: Are you good? 1396 00:50:17,184 --> 00:50:19,789 I'm good. Go. Go sit. 1397 00:50:22,562 --> 00:50:24,231 How about I just wait with you? I'll wait. 1398 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,673 Why are you treating me like a child? 1399 00:50:27,706 --> 00:50:29,610 CARMY: I'm not, I'm not treating you like a child, Mom. 1400 00:50:29,643 --> 00:50:30,645 I'm not. 1401 00:50:31,814 --> 00:50:33,116 Do we have a problem? 1402 00:50:34,452 --> 00:50:36,691 Do we, do we have a problem? 1403 00:50:36,724 --> 00:50:39,128 DONNA: Do we have a problem... 1404 00:50:40,430 --> 00:50:43,269 Carmen Anthony Berzatto? 1405 00:50:44,271 --> 00:50:46,275 Do we have a problem? 1406 00:50:47,879 --> 00:50:49,148 No. 1407 00:50:49,482 --> 00:50:50,483 DONNA: Good. 1408 00:50:51,553 --> 00:50:52,622 CARMY: Oh. Mom. 1409 00:50:56,630 --> 00:50:57,899 It's okay. It's okay. 1410 00:50:58,266 --> 00:50:59,937 -(Donna crying) -It's okay. It's okay. 1411 00:50:59,970 --> 00:51:01,506 -It's okay, okay? -(kisses) 1412 00:51:01,540 --> 00:51:02,875 It's okay. 1413 00:51:04,211 --> 00:51:05,314 DONNA: Go sit down. 1414 00:51:05,347 --> 00:51:06,516 -Go sit down. -Alright. 1415 00:51:06,550 --> 00:51:09,823 ♪ We did last summer ♪ 1416 00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:15,835 ♪ I'll remember ♪ 1417 00:51:15,868 --> 00:51:22,648 ♪ All winter long ♪ 1418 00:51:24,518 --> 00:51:26,823 (vocalizing) 1419 00:51:30,798 --> 00:51:32,401 (sniffles sharply) 1420 00:51:37,211 --> 00:51:38,881 MIKEY: Hey, uh, Tiff. 1421 00:51:38,914 --> 00:51:41,620 A little, um a little something came up, huh? 1422 00:51:41,653 --> 00:51:43,490 A little bit more than something. 1423 00:51:43,523 --> 00:51:45,227 -MIKEY: Oh, boy. -TIFF: Yeah. 1424 00:51:45,260 --> 00:51:46,897 -You feeling okay? -I'm good. 1425 00:51:46,930 --> 00:51:48,634 -MIKEY: Yeah? Good. -How are you? 1426 00:51:48,667 --> 00:51:50,404 -Good. -MICHELLE: Hey, Mikey. 1427 00:51:50,437 --> 00:51:52,642 -Yeah? -You wanna say grace? 1428 00:51:54,311 --> 00:51:55,514 MIKEY: I don't know, cousin. 1429 00:51:55,548 --> 00:51:57,451 Is this motherfucker gonna cut me off? 1430 00:51:57,953 --> 00:51:59,556 (clears throat) It depends. 1431 00:51:59,589 --> 00:52:01,927 Uh, is it a grace we've heard a million times before? 1432 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,265 -CICERO: Okay. Okay. -Oh, wow. 1433 00:52:04,298 --> 00:52:07,539 Uh, Steven, would you like to say grace, my friend? 1434 00:52:07,572 --> 00:52:09,508 -MICHELLE: Oh. -Can I please not? 1435 00:52:10,310 --> 00:52:11,747 -MICHELLE: You don't want to? -I don't. 1436 00:52:11,780 --> 00:52:12,916 -Okay. -I mean... 1437 00:52:12,949 --> 00:52:14,385 Okay, so then I'm going to ask 1438 00:52:14,418 --> 00:52:15,955 the same question I ask every year, 1439 00:52:15,988 --> 00:52:19,395 which is, what the hell is the point of the seven fishes? 1440 00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:20,932 -I don't get it. -Oh, I know the answer. 1441 00:52:20,965 --> 00:52:23,938 Well, it's biblical, okay? There's seven fishes. 1442 00:52:23,971 --> 00:52:26,811 And uh, also by the manger, right, 1443 00:52:26,844 --> 00:52:28,815 there's a Dutch oven of potatoes 1444 00:52:28,848 --> 00:52:30,451 that burned the living shit out of me earlier. 1445 00:52:30,484 --> 00:52:32,254 -(buzzes) -CARMY: Oh. 1446 00:52:32,589 --> 00:52:33,958 Did you just throw a fork at me? 1447 00:52:33,991 --> 00:52:35,226 I did. 1448 00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,300 See that's the thing, Lee, see, 'cause... 1449 00:52:38,333 --> 00:52:39,435 you see what you did, right? 1450 00:52:39,468 --> 00:52:40,972 You, you already did that. 1451 00:52:41,005 --> 00:52:42,909 You remember you already bitched about the Dutch oven? 1452 00:52:42,942 --> 00:52:44,411 -You see, you did that before. -Michael. 1453 00:52:44,980 --> 00:52:46,584 -What are you doing, Michael? -MIKEY: He started it. Uncle J. 1454 00:52:46,617 --> 00:52:48,588 -Mike, just-- -Don't throw fuckin' forks at people. 1455 00:52:48,621 --> 00:52:49,790 (mocking Lee) Don't throw forks... Don't-don't-don't... 1456 00:52:49,823 --> 00:52:50,992 LEE: Yeah, don't throw forks at people. 1457 00:52:51,025 --> 00:52:52,294 MIKEY: Don't-don't-don't. 1458 00:52:52,327 --> 00:52:52,996 -Don't-don't-don't... -It's a rule. 1459 00:52:53,029 --> 00:52:54,532 It's a rule? It's a rule? 1460 00:52:54,566 --> 00:52:56,604 Hey, Fak. You using your fork? 1461 00:52:56,637 --> 00:52:58,272 Yeah, I-I-I need it, Mike. 1462 00:52:58,908 --> 00:52:59,977 I need it. 1463 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:00,678 Ple... Mikey. 1464 00:53:00,712 --> 00:53:02,481 -MIKEY: Yeah? -FAK: Yeah. 1465 00:53:02,514 --> 00:53:03,951 -MIKEY: I just, I need to borrow it. -Please. Please. 1466 00:53:03,984 --> 00:53:05,320 MIKEY: I just need to borrow it for one second. 1467 00:53:05,353 --> 00:53:06,690 -FAK: Please. -CICERO: Michael. 1468 00:53:06,723 --> 00:53:08,561 I'm just gonna borrow it for a second. 1469 00:53:08,594 --> 00:53:10,865 -I just need it for one second. -FAK: Mikey. Come on, dude. 1470 00:53:10,898 --> 00:53:12,468 -CARMY: Yo. -BOTH: Michael. 1471 00:53:12,501 --> 00:53:13,704 I threw the fork, Lee. 1472 00:53:13,737 --> 00:53:14,706 -STEVEN: Michael. -MIKEY: See what I did? 1473 00:53:14,739 --> 00:53:15,440 -I threw the fork. -TIFF: Michael. 1474 00:53:15,473 --> 00:53:17,311 -MIKEY: Tiff. Tiff. Shh. -Please. 1475 00:53:17,344 --> 00:53:19,583 Cousin, you're scaring the normals. 1476 00:53:19,616 --> 00:53:20,985 MIKEY: This is fine. This is nothing. 1477 00:53:21,018 --> 00:53:22,689 This is... It's nothing. 1478 00:53:22,722 --> 00:53:23,825 Hey, Mikey, can you hear me, buddy? 1479 00:53:23,858 --> 00:53:25,326 Not right now, Stevie. 1480 00:53:25,828 --> 00:53:27,431 -RICHIE: Cut it out. -LEE: Rich. 1481 00:53:27,464 --> 00:53:28,701 MIKEY: Hey, look, here's the thing. 1482 00:53:28,734 --> 00:53:30,437 You see, I can throw forks 1483 00:53:30,470 --> 00:53:32,308 'cause this is our father's house. 1484 00:53:32,341 --> 00:53:33,310 -Mike. -Rich. 1485 00:53:33,343 --> 00:53:34,580 -Lee? -My father's house. 1486 00:53:34,613 --> 00:53:35,514 We have lift-off. 1487 00:53:35,548 --> 00:53:36,984 LEE: Okay, you got everyone's attention, 1488 00:53:37,017 --> 00:53:38,921 so go ahead, tell us a story 1489 00:53:38,954 --> 00:53:41,359 we've all heard a million times already. 1490 00:53:41,392 --> 00:53:42,662 -That's good, Lee. -LEE: Yeah. 1491 00:53:42,695 --> 00:53:44,733 Tell a story about how you're living with your mom 1492 00:53:44,766 --> 00:53:47,739 and you're borrowing money off of her and any other sucker 1493 00:53:47,772 --> 00:53:48,975 who'll listen to your bullshit. 1494 00:53:49,008 --> 00:53:50,310 Lee, shut the fuck up. 1495 00:53:50,343 --> 00:53:51,714 You're one of the suckers, Jimmy. 1496 00:53:51,747 --> 00:53:53,751 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've told him. 1497 00:53:53,784 --> 00:53:56,891 I told him not to listen to you. I told him not to help. 1498 00:53:56,924 --> 00:53:58,761 I told him to tell you to go scratch. 1499 00:53:58,794 --> 00:54:00,030 Thanks a whole fucking lot, buddy. 1500 00:54:00,063 --> 00:54:01,634 You come back next year, okay? 1501 00:54:01,667 --> 00:54:03,036 -Motherfuck. -Ssh, ssh, ssh. Unc, it's fine. 1502 00:54:03,069 --> 00:54:04,038 -LEE: Yeah, it's fine. -It's just totally fine. 1503 00:54:04,071 --> 00:54:05,507 It's fine. It's fine. 1504 00:54:05,541 --> 00:54:08,614 Because this guy's nothing and he's nobody. 1505 00:54:08,647 --> 00:54:11,754 And I know you're-you're scared and you're afraid, aren't you, Michael? 1506 00:54:11,787 --> 00:54:14,091 And, Michael, I don't know what, what the fuck you're on, 1507 00:54:14,124 --> 00:54:17,097 but whatever it is, if you can hear me through the fog, 1508 00:54:17,130 --> 00:54:18,500 throw another fork at me, 1509 00:54:18,533 --> 00:54:19,869 you're gonna get fuckin' rocked. 1510 00:54:36,937 --> 00:54:38,506 Hey, Petey. 1511 00:54:40,443 --> 00:54:41,680 I just, I... 1512 00:54:42,414 --> 00:54:44,820 You think I could just, like, borrow that for one second? I just... 1513 00:54:44,853 --> 00:54:45,955 -MICHELLE: Michael! Hey! Come on. Mike, come on. Please. 1514 00:54:45,988 --> 00:54:47,458 -SUGAR: Michael! -CARMY: Mike. 1515 00:54:47,491 --> 00:54:48,561 CICERO: Michael. Put the fucking fork down. 1516 00:54:48,594 --> 00:54:50,832 -Michael. Michael. Michael. -CICERO: Put it down. 1517 00:54:50,865 --> 00:54:52,434 Please don't do this. 1518 00:54:52,467 --> 00:54:53,637 Michael! Hey. 1519 00:54:54,038 --> 00:54:55,373 Hey. 1520 00:54:55,975 --> 00:54:56,877 Hey. 1521 00:54:57,477 --> 00:54:58,547 Hey. 1522 00:55:01,720 --> 00:55:02,755 I love you. 1523 00:55:03,456 --> 00:55:04,960 Okay? 1524 00:55:04,993 --> 00:55:06,395 I love you, too, Sug. 1525 00:55:08,734 --> 00:55:09,836 SUGAR: I'm begging you. 1526 00:55:11,707 --> 00:55:12,808 (whispers) Don't do it. 1527 00:55:18,988 --> 00:55:21,827 STEVEN: (giggles) I'm sorry. I giggle when I get nervous. 1528 00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:24,465 MIKEY: No, no, no. Steve, do not apologize for that. 1529 00:55:24,498 --> 00:55:26,102 You fucking giggle. Fucking giggle. 1530 00:55:26,135 --> 00:55:27,504 Fucking enjoy this. This is fun! 1531 00:55:27,539 --> 00:55:30,612 -Michael, I need you to calm down, buddy, alright? -CARMY: Mike! 1532 00:55:30,645 --> 00:55:32,549 CICERO: There's other people at the table. 1533 00:55:32,582 --> 00:55:33,684 I need you to calm down. 1534 00:55:33,717 --> 00:55:34,886 You're being a bit of an asshole. 1535 00:55:34,919 --> 00:55:36,724 Thank you, Uncle J. I'm fine. 1536 00:55:36,757 --> 00:55:38,894 That is the familial support I was looking for. 1537 00:55:38,927 --> 00:55:40,598 Yeah, well, you're being a fuckin' asshole, too. 1538 00:55:40,631 --> 00:55:42,736 Thank you for that too, Uncle J. 1539 00:55:42,769 --> 00:55:43,971 Go ahead. 1540 00:55:44,238 --> 00:55:46,509 -Let's go. -Where do you wanna go, Lee? 1541 00:55:46,543 --> 00:55:48,112 -LEE: Fuckin' throw it. -Yeah? 1542 00:55:49,749 --> 00:55:51,887 Yeah, throw it or put it down. 1543 00:55:51,920 --> 00:55:54,025 (Mikey laughs) 1544 00:55:54,058 --> 00:55:55,026 Yeah, come on. 1545 00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,598 MIKEY: Well, Lee, you look like you bite. 1546 00:55:58,032 --> 00:55:59,736 You bite, Lee, is that what you do? 1547 00:55:59,769 --> 00:56:01,740 -MICHELLE: Oh, my God. -CICERO: For fuck's sake. 1548 00:56:01,773 --> 00:56:03,711 Your mother's been working for fucking days 1549 00:56:03,744 --> 00:56:04,746 making this meal. 1550 00:56:04,779 --> 00:56:05,714 Have some respect. 1551 00:56:05,748 --> 00:56:06,917 There's other people on this fucking table. 1552 00:56:06,950 --> 00:56:08,888 -Mike, stop! -Shut the fuck up! 1553 00:56:08,921 --> 00:56:10,557 Throw the fuckin' fork! 1554 00:56:12,494 --> 00:56:14,031 -Here you go. -CARMY: Sit down. Sit down! 1555 00:56:14,064 --> 00:56:15,735 MIKEY: Oh, would you look at that? 1556 00:56:15,768 --> 00:56:17,906 I didn't throw it. I didn't throw it, you fuckin' pussy! 1557 00:56:17,939 --> 00:56:19,508 You fuckin' flinched! Look! 1558 00:56:19,810 --> 00:56:21,780 You did it again, you fuckin' pussy! 1559 00:56:21,813 --> 00:56:23,751 Throw it. 1560 00:56:23,784 --> 00:56:25,654 I'm not on anything. I flinch. 1561 00:56:26,455 --> 00:56:29,195 I still-- my brain's connected to my nerves. 1562 00:56:29,228 --> 00:56:30,197 You monster. 1563 00:56:30,230 --> 00:56:31,633 MIKEY: Yeah, I'm a monster, Lee. 1564 00:56:31,666 --> 00:56:32,836 You're a fuckin' monster. 1565 00:56:32,869 --> 00:56:33,704 -Nobody wants you here. -LEE: You loser. 1566 00:56:33,738 --> 00:56:35,173 MIKEY: Nobody fucking wants you here. 1567 00:56:35,206 --> 00:56:36,175 LEE: You loser fuckin' monster. 1568 00:56:36,208 --> 00:56:37,211 Nobody fuckin' wants you here 1569 00:56:37,244 --> 00:56:39,148 with your big fuckin' mouth. 1570 00:56:39,181 --> 00:56:40,885 With your big fuckin' mouth! 1571 00:56:40,918 --> 00:56:42,622 -LEE: Fuckin' throw it. -MIKEY: Yeah? 1572 00:56:42,655 --> 00:56:44,525 Go ahead, fuckin' throw it, you fucking animal. 1573 00:56:44,559 --> 00:56:46,195 (braying) Yeah? 1574 00:56:46,228 --> 00:56:48,834 Yeah. Make it about you. Make Christmas about you. 1575 00:56:48,867 --> 00:56:50,037 -(screeching) -If you're such a tough guy, 1576 00:56:50,070 --> 00:56:51,506 throw the fucking fork. 1577 00:56:51,540 --> 00:56:52,775 You're nothing. 1578 00:56:54,579 --> 00:56:56,115 You're nothing. 1579 00:56:56,148 --> 00:56:57,517 You're nothing. 1580 00:56:58,119 --> 00:56:59,521 You are nothing. 1581 00:57:00,223 --> 00:57:01,525 You're nothing. 1582 00:57:03,730 --> 00:57:04,899 You are nothing. 1583 00:57:07,939 --> 00:57:09,041 You're nothing. 1584 00:57:16,623 --> 00:57:18,192 -CICERO: Oh, there she is. -(clapping) 1585 00:57:19,328 --> 00:57:22,702 -Merry Christmas. -RICHIE: Merry Christmas, Auntie Dee. 1586 00:57:22,735 --> 00:57:24,105 DONNA: What did I miss? 1587 00:57:24,138 --> 00:57:26,844 (Donna laughing) 1588 00:57:26,877 --> 00:57:29,850 -What'd I miss? -LEE: Nothing. 1589 00:57:29,883 --> 00:57:31,152 -I missed something. -MIKEY: No, no, no. 1590 00:57:31,185 --> 00:57:32,722 -CICERO: Come on. -DONNA: Oh, thank you. 1591 00:57:32,755 --> 00:57:34,258 Uh, Stevie, Stevie's about to say grace, Ma. 1592 00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:35,427 -DONNA: Ooh, good, yes. -No. 1593 00:57:35,460 --> 00:57:37,565 -MIKEY: Go ahead and take it away there, Stevie. -No. 1594 00:57:37,598 --> 00:57:38,499 -Yes, yes, yes. -STEVEN: Uh, I don't... 1595 00:57:38,532 --> 00:57:39,903 MIKEY: Just fuckin' say the thing, okay? 1596 00:57:39,936 --> 00:57:41,239 MICHELLE: Come on. You can do it. 1597 00:57:41,272 --> 00:57:42,976 -STEVEN: Um... -DONNA: Grace. 1598 00:57:43,009 --> 00:57:44,044 Um... 1599 00:57:45,113 --> 00:57:46,115 Hey. Uh... 1600 00:57:46,884 --> 00:57:50,257 -It's great that we're all... -I'm sorry. 1601 00:57:50,290 --> 00:57:54,531 ...that we're all together, um, and healthy, I think. 1602 00:57:55,233 --> 00:57:59,609 Uh, no one's si... physically very sick. 1603 00:57:59,642 --> 00:58:00,577 Uh... 1604 00:58:02,214 --> 00:58:06,589 I'm so grateful, um, for this beautiful meal. 1605 00:58:07,324 --> 00:58:09,996 And, Donna, um... 1606 00:58:10,029 --> 00:58:11,867 What an incredible job Donna did. 1607 00:58:11,900 --> 00:58:13,904 And I-I could, I could hear in there. 1608 00:58:13,937 --> 00:58:18,012 It sounded very hard and it's just gorgeous. 1609 00:58:18,045 --> 00:58:19,883 And is he still holding the fork? 1610 00:58:19,916 --> 00:58:21,018 -Sure is. -MICHELLE: Yeah. 1611 00:58:21,051 --> 00:58:23,056 STEVEN: Okay. Um... 1612 00:58:23,089 --> 00:58:24,257 Listen. 1613 00:58:25,828 --> 00:58:28,032 Everyone's asking what this... 1614 00:58:28,065 --> 00:58:30,170 What is the seven fishes or why do we do it? 1615 00:58:30,203 --> 00:58:33,275 -MICHELLE: Mm-hmm. -And I think I know what my definition is. 1616 00:58:33,777 --> 00:58:35,914 Uh, as soon as I think of it. 1617 00:58:37,317 --> 00:58:39,622 It's a chance to... 1618 00:58:40,423 --> 00:58:44,264 be together and to take care of each other. 1619 00:58:45,668 --> 00:58:47,303 And to eat together. 1620 00:58:47,772 --> 00:58:50,210 And there's seven fishes, 1621 00:58:50,243 --> 00:58:54,653 which means you have to make seven entirely different dishes. 1622 00:58:54,686 --> 00:58:56,957 Seven entirely different ways. 1623 00:58:56,990 --> 00:58:59,729 And that takes a lot of time. 1624 00:59:00,664 --> 00:59:01,599 And... 1625 00:59:02,568 --> 00:59:06,108 I think spending that time and using that time 1626 00:59:06,141 --> 00:59:09,683 on the people that we love is how we show them 1627 00:59:09,716 --> 00:59:10,784 that we love them. 1628 00:59:13,356 --> 00:59:14,892 And maybe we eat too much... 1629 00:59:15,493 --> 00:59:17,832 and we definitely drink too much 1630 00:59:17,865 --> 00:59:21,639 and we say too much without listening. 1631 00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:26,082 But... tonight we... we're gonna eat seven fishes... 1632 00:59:26,115 --> 00:59:27,217 (Michelle laughs) 1633 00:59:27,250 --> 00:59:28,353 ...which is absurd. 1634 00:59:28,386 --> 00:59:29,655 Uh... 1635 00:59:30,123 --> 00:59:31,793 But we have to take extra time to do it 1636 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:36,201 and we have to chew more and we have to listen more. 1637 00:59:38,272 --> 00:59:42,313 And, uh, we only get to do this tonight one time. 1638 00:59:43,717 --> 00:59:44,351 So... 1639 00:59:45,286 --> 00:59:46,656 I, by the way, love it. 1640 00:59:47,390 --> 00:59:49,127 I love being here. 1641 00:59:49,528 --> 00:59:52,367 Thank you for having me every year at this. 1642 00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,072 I look... I very much look forward to this. 1643 00:59:56,108 --> 00:59:57,211 And I love you. 1644 00:59:57,244 --> 01:00:00,183 I-I-I'm very in love with Michelle. 1645 01:00:00,618 --> 01:00:02,821 And I'm not gay like you guys asked a lot. 1646 01:00:03,322 --> 01:00:04,859 But I was thinking about what... 1647 01:00:05,327 --> 01:00:08,967 what you said about bears and how they're aggressive. 1648 01:00:10,303 --> 01:00:12,875 They're aggressive, but they're kind. 1649 01:00:13,910 --> 01:00:14,946 They're sensitive. 1650 01:00:16,950 --> 01:00:19,756 You guys have been so kind to me. 1651 01:00:19,789 --> 01:00:21,259 You let me hang out with you every holiday. 1652 01:00:21,292 --> 01:00:23,863 I don't have a family like this and... 1653 01:00:25,033 --> 01:00:27,170 I'm really grateful that, um, 1654 01:00:27,538 --> 01:00:29,140 you make space for me at this table 1655 01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:31,880 and you make time for me on the holidays. 1656 01:00:36,957 --> 01:00:40,196 May God bless us and keep us safe in the New Year. 1657 01:00:40,229 --> 01:00:41,767 And please give Michael the strength 1658 01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:43,202 not to throw that fork. Amen. 1659 01:00:43,235 --> 01:00:45,040 -(laughter) -ALL: Amen. 1660 01:00:45,073 --> 01:00:46,275 -I love you. -I love you. 1661 01:00:48,814 --> 01:00:49,749 (Donna grunts) 1662 01:00:49,783 --> 01:00:52,020 Stevie, that was, uh, that was beautiful. 1663 01:00:53,189 --> 01:00:54,725 -(whispers) That helps a little. -Yeah. 1664 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,729 (sniffles) 1665 01:00:57,497 --> 01:00:58,834 (sighs) 1666 01:00:58,867 --> 01:01:00,169 Yeah. Yeah. 1667 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,144 It doesn't fuckin' matter. 1668 01:01:04,177 --> 01:01:05,146 Oh, Donna. 1669 01:01:05,179 --> 01:01:07,451 DONNA: (softly) It doesn't... 1670 01:01:07,484 --> 01:01:10,223 SUGAR: Ma, come on. It's so beautiful. 1671 01:01:10,256 --> 01:01:11,325 So gorgeous. 1672 01:01:11,358 --> 01:01:12,895 RICHIE: Thanks, Auntie D. 1673 01:01:12,928 --> 01:01:14,231 We love you so much. 1674 01:01:14,264 --> 01:01:16,201 -We love you. -CICERO: Gorgeous, D. 1675 01:01:18,840 --> 01:01:20,343 -(sighs deeply) -STEVEN: We can't wait. 1676 01:01:20,376 --> 01:01:22,013 Mom. Mom. Hey. 1677 01:01:23,215 --> 01:01:24,351 (exhales) 1678 01:01:26,288 --> 01:01:27,323 You okay? 1679 01:01:28,259 --> 01:01:29,528 MICHELLE: Oh, my God. 1680 01:01:29,562 --> 01:01:31,933 (Donna sighs) 1681 01:01:31,966 --> 01:01:33,469 Oh, Natalie... 1682 01:01:34,572 --> 01:01:36,174 Rose Berzatto... 1683 01:01:37,845 --> 01:01:39,983 do you know how much I fucking hate 1684 01:01:40,016 --> 01:01:41,920 -when you ask me that? -Okay. 1685 01:01:41,953 --> 01:01:47,531 Do you know how much I fucking hate... 1686 01:01:47,565 --> 01:01:49,134 -SUGAR: Let's go upstairs. -...that you ask me that. 1687 01:01:49,167 --> 01:01:50,370 SUGAR: Okay. 1688 01:01:50,403 --> 01:01:52,374 Do you... do you ask the rest 1689 01:01:52,407 --> 01:01:55,146 of these people if they're okay? 1690 01:01:55,179 --> 01:01:56,349 SUGAR: No. 1691 01:01:56,382 --> 01:01:57,483 Uh... 1692 01:01:57,952 --> 01:01:59,521 Do I not look okay, Natalie? 1693 01:01:59,555 --> 01:02:00,957 Not really. 1694 01:02:02,561 --> 01:02:03,997 SUGAR: Let's go upstairs. 1695 01:02:04,030 --> 01:02:06,135 -Oh, fuck you, Michelle. -CARMY: Hey, hey, hey. 1696 01:02:06,168 --> 01:02:07,572 -I didn't mean it like-- -DONNA: I do not look okay? 1697 01:02:07,605 --> 01:02:10,076 -I didn't mean it like-- -Did I not just bust my ass 1698 01:02:10,711 --> 01:02:13,116 all day for you motherfuckers? 1699 01:02:13,149 --> 01:02:14,451 I didn't mean it like that. 1700 01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:19,261 -This... is beautiful. -MICHELLE: It is. 1701 01:02:19,294 --> 01:02:21,265 Am I okay? 1702 01:02:21,298 --> 01:02:23,102 Am I okay? 1703 01:02:23,671 --> 01:02:26,976 (screaming) Are you motherfuckers okay? 1704 01:02:27,912 --> 01:02:29,381 Are you okay, Lee? 1705 01:02:30,918 --> 01:02:32,855 You didn't do shit! 1706 01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:38,867 This is fucking gorgeous. 1707 01:02:42,173 --> 01:02:44,411 Fuck you! 1708 01:02:46,181 --> 01:02:47,283 Fuck you! 1709 01:02:49,020 --> 01:02:50,122 Fuck you. 1710 01:02:52,427 --> 01:02:54,865 -(crying) Fuck you, Natalie. -(footsteps receding) 1711 01:02:58,172 --> 01:02:59,308 MICHELLE (softly): It's okay. 1712 01:02:59,341 --> 01:03:00,844 -(door shuts) -It's okay. 1713 01:03:14,237 --> 01:03:16,910 (exhales) Well, I guess we all knew that was gonna happen. 1714 01:03:16,943 --> 01:03:18,312 So it's out. 1715 01:03:18,345 --> 01:03:21,284 And, uh, maybe everybody, everybody can relax, huh? 1716 01:03:22,955 --> 01:03:25,093 MICHELLE: Yeah, that's, uh... 1717 01:03:25,126 --> 01:03:26,863 That's the worst I've ever seen her. 1718 01:03:29,635 --> 01:03:31,505 You fuckin' piece of shit! 1719 01:03:31,539 --> 01:03:34,210 (all yelling) 1720 01:03:35,279 --> 01:03:37,217 (screaming) 1721 01:03:37,250 --> 01:03:38,386 Get the fuck out. 1722 01:03:38,419 --> 01:03:39,656 (screaming continues) 1723 01:03:39,689 --> 01:03:40,925 Get outta here. 1724 01:03:40,958 --> 01:03:42,662 -(screaming continues) -Hang on! 1725 01:03:42,695 --> 01:03:44,131 (screaming continues) 1726 01:03:44,164 --> 01:03:46,234 (yelling) 1727 01:03:54,117 --> 01:03:55,621 MIKEY: Ma, what did you do? 1728 01:03:55,654 --> 01:03:57,257 (rattling) 1729 01:03:57,290 --> 01:03:58,927 Ma, open the door! 1730 01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:00,296 Open the door, Ma! 1731 01:04:00,998 --> 01:04:02,200 Ma! 1732 01:04:02,233 --> 01:04:04,471 -Ma, open the door! -(banging on window) 1733 01:04:05,641 --> 01:04:07,110 Open the door! 1734 01:04:08,379 --> 01:04:09,347 Ma! 1735 01:04:10,316 --> 01:04:12,353 Ma! What did you do? 1736 01:04:13,189 --> 01:04:15,995 -(pounding on window) -Ma, open the door. 1737 01:04:16,028 --> 01:04:17,230 Open the door! 1738 01:04:18,165 --> 01:04:19,467 Ma, open the door! 1739 01:04:22,507 --> 01:04:23,576 Ma! 1740 01:04:25,279 --> 01:04:26,616 Ma, what did you do? 1741 01:04:26,649 --> 01:04:28,252 (pounding continues) 1742 01:04:28,285 --> 01:04:29,656 Ma, open the door. 1743 01:04:29,689 --> 01:04:31,224 Open the door, Ma. 1744 01:04:31,793 --> 01:04:33,495 -Ma! -(pounding continues) 1745 01:04:33,863 --> 01:04:35,332 Ma, open the door! 1746 01:04:36,603 --> 01:04:38,071 Open the door! 1747 01:04:42,413 --> 01:04:43,515 Ma! 1748 01:04:48,025 --> 01:04:49,260 -Ma! -(pounding continues) 1749 01:04:51,599 --> 01:04:52,701 Ma! 1750 01:04:56,174 --> 01:04:57,644 -Ma! -(pounding continues) 1751 01:04:58,078 --> 01:04:59,481 Ma, open the door. 1752 01:05:01,051 --> 01:05:02,119 Open the door! 1753 01:05:05,226 --> 01:05:08,734 (vocalizing) 1754 01:05:08,767 --> 01:05:12,675 ♪ Could you ever know how much I care? ♪ 1755 01:05:12,708 --> 01:05:14,177 ♪ How much I care? ♪ 1756 01:05:14,210 --> 01:05:17,317 ♪ Could you ever know that out somewhere ♪ 1757 01:05:17,350 --> 01:05:19,054 ♪ That out somewhere ♪ 1758 01:05:19,087 --> 01:05:21,458 ♪ There's a boy who really hurts? ♪ 1759 01:05:21,491 --> 01:05:24,164 ♪ Really hurts ♪ 1760 01:05:24,197 --> 01:05:26,068 ♪ Since I ♪ 1761 01:05:26,101 --> 01:05:27,237 ♪ I ♪ 1762 01:05:27,270 --> 01:05:30,678 -♪ Found you ♪ -♪ Found ♪ 1763 01:05:30,711 --> 01:05:33,182 ♪ I found a girl ♪ 1764 01:05:33,215 --> 01:05:35,588 ♪ I found a thorn ♪ 1765 01:05:35,621 --> 01:05:38,092 ♪ I found a queen ♪ 1766 01:05:38,125 --> 01:05:44,071 ♪ Now I am warm ♪ 1767 01:05:44,104 --> 01:05:48,747 ♪ You told me you would move heaven and Earth ♪ 1768 01:05:48,780 --> 01:05:53,456 ♪ Cheering my spirits with laughter and mirth ♪ 1769 01:05:53,489 --> 01:05:57,464 ♪ Here I sit waiting beside the tree ♪ 1770 01:05:57,497 --> 01:05:59,467 ♪ All by myself ♪ 123017