Original subtitles

Based on real events. Details have been adapted for dramatic purposes

and all place and character names are fictitious.

So Tommy grabbed your ankles and pulled you out of the sofa?

Yes.

-Down onto the floor? -Yes.

-Did you try to stand up? -Yes.

But then he held me by the hair instead.

Lotta and my daughter Victoria came out to Heddesta on Boxing Day.

They wanted to give me a Christmas present and we ate together.

Had you been drinking earlier during the day?

Absolutely not.

We drank soft drinks with the food. I had a schnapps.

And then you moved into the living room for coffee

and you had a whisky?

Yes, I may have had a small one. But I was in no way drunk.

-Not even close. -But there was a row?

No, we had a discussion, which was occasionally slightly unstrung.

But this claim that I pushed her and grabbed hold of her ankles,

while at the same time pulling her hair... How do you even do that?

How can you hold someone's feet while pulling their hair?

This information was confirmed by Victoria.

What happened was that our discussion

occasionally became a bit heated.

We're going through a divorce and my wife wants the farm...

But that's irrelevant, Tommy, it's...

Can I just finish?

As part of this, she has persuaded my daughter

to lie about these things.

Which, of course, is deeply painful.

I mean, when your child...

I love my children.

RIDING IN DARKNESS

Victoria, you can come in.

You have a blog.

-"Vickan's Day." Is that correct? -Yes.

I will now read a blog post from 27 December, 2006.

"Love Christmas! Had a great few days with Mum.

"So nice to just get comfy and take care of each other."

And a photo of a Christmas gift sweater. Did you write this?

-Yes. -So this was written...

...on the day after your dad assaulted you and your mum?

-Yes. -"A great few days with Mum"?

But now your description of it is

that it was your worst Christmas ever.

I never said that. I had many worse Christmases when I was little.

It's hard to understand

why what you describe here isn't reflected in the blog.

You don't write the whole truth there.

You don't? Why not?

Well...you sort of want to paint a picture of your life

that's better than reality.

I've read your entire blog, Victoria.

You started blogging in 2004, that's two years ago.

And there's no mention of your dad having assaulted you

or behaved badly.

No.

So you mean that you've varnished the truth?

Yes, I suppose you could say that.

So we can't trust what's in the blog?

Then why should we trust what you're saying today?

Because it's true.

Did he say that he loves his children?

Yes.

It's outrageous.

Do you think he meant it?

Your neighbour, Janne Hansson, claims that you said on the phone:

"I'll kill the whole village."

Yes, and of course I never said that.

What I said was, "Do you want to kill off the whole village?"

The village is made up of three to four farms

in close proximity to each other.

And when I got there, before starting the riding school,

the whole area was quite run down.

Thanks to my business, it's still is a cultural environment.

What I meant then was that if they keep sabotaging my business,

they will kill off the whole village. That's what I meant.

Thank you. No more questions.

Thank you. The proceedings are closed and we will take a break.

The lay judges and I will deliberate. Verdict will be announced at 4 pm.

Victoria! Excuse me?

Hello. Do you have time to answer a few questions?

Yes...

Tommy claims that you and your mother lied in court.

-Do you have any comments on that? -No. Except he's the one lying.

We should talk. I'll give you an accurate picture of the events.

Can you go away?

My ex-wife is behind all of this.

-She wants Heddesta... -Go away!

Unfortunately, she's convinced my children to bear false witness.

-Are you deaf? Go away! -Come on, Victoria.

It's not worth it.

First charge - assault, alternatively minor assault.

Dismissed.

The court does not find the crime proven beyond reasonable doubt.

Second charge - unlawful threat

against Lotta Lundh, Jan Hansson and Tina Hansson.

We find the defendant guilty.

The penalty for unlawful threat will be 60 daily fines of 80 kronor each.

The defendant will also pay a fee of 500 kronor to the Crime Victim Fund.

That's all for today. Thank you.

Will you appeal?

I don't think so.

He was sentenced, after all, for unlawful threat. That's a warning.

Now we just need to get him off Heddesta.

Will you blog about the trial?

-No. -Why not?

Because.

What?

It's a bit of a family trait.

-To display a false facade. -Agnes...

Thanks for dinner.

-Did I offend you? -No, but I'm tired.

I want to go home.

-Victoria... -Talk to you later.

I have a story to tell.

Something that's far from what I usually share.

Something that's personal and painful,

and that I've wanted to keep to myself.

But now, I want to tell you about T.

On Boxing Day, T. assaulted my mum.

Unfortunately, it wasn't my first Christmas of violence,

fear and fights.

My childhood was full of that.

But this time, I reported T.

The first time T. beat me, I was only seven years old.

Bruises fade away,

but the feeling of having been beaten stays with you.

I was taught early on to put up a facade.

The important thing wasn't how it felt,

but how it looked from the outside.

No matter how much I tried, T. was never satisfied.

T. always found new ways to manipulate, frighten and punish you.

But this isn't only about me.

When I was little, T. was in prison

for sexual abuse of four stable girls.

T. claimed he was innocent and Mum supported him.

Naturally, I believed that.

I started hating those stable girls who had taken T. away from me.

But as an adult, I've thought about things I saw as a child.

Little things. Trivial things.

Things that I now see in a completely different light.

This is my story about surviving.

This is the truth about T.

Mum? Come here!

You have to see this.

She did it.

127 COMMENTS

I used to babysit for you.

I remember the fights and how scared I was of him.

So brave of you to talk about it.

I rode there and suspected all wasn't well,

but I never knew it was this bad.

I hope T. gets what he deserves.

I rode there and Tommy abused me.

I don't know you, but it hurts me

to read about what you've been through.

-Far too many people are abused. -I was a stable girl there too...

I was also abused by T. You're not alone.

-Do you know where the others are? -No.

Don't you usually come here with Mira?

No.

Well, I suppose they'll turn up.

-Agneta speaking. -Hello, my name is Frida.

I don't know if you remember me,

but I rode together with Molly at Heddesta.

-Frida, you said...? -We used to be friends then.

Okay... You were in that film. Wasn't that you?

Yes. I'm just wondering if you have her number?

Hello, Molly. I just wanted to contact you and say

that not a day goes by that I don't think about you.

I wish I'd been as strong as you were

when all those things happened.

I understand if you never want to speak to me ever again,

but if you do, I'd be happy if you'd get in touch.

Love, Frida.

-Hello there. How are you? -Fine.

-What are you doing? -Well, we're collecting our horse.

Off to a competition?

-Hi, Carro. -Move, will you?

-Then where's Bonnie going? -Away from here.

Why? What the hell is this, Carro?

Hey, stop this. Have I missed something, or what?

Dirty bastard! You should fucking die!

Creep! Fetch your horses now!

VICKAN'S DAY

-Good morning. -Good morning.

-Hello. Oh, yes... -Yes?

Your dad was here, so maybe you should call him.

-He was here? -Yes.

-When? -Around eight o'clock this morning.

You must absolutely not let him in or tell him where I am.

No...

I have a hidden address. Did you tell him where I live?

No, that's...

-I just gave him your phone number. -My private one?

-Yes. -Okay...

-I'm sorry. -It's alright. You didn't know.

I had the number blocked and I've asked for a new one.

-Had he tried to call you? -I don't know.

-I think you should call the police. -It's pointless.

They won't do anything.

Have you seen Heddesta's website?

-No. -Lots of comments about him.

"Hope someone castrates you with a blunt ice skate." Things like that.

Carro, who was there for so many years, apparently left too.

Great.

I saw her comment on your blog too.

-Don't read the comments, Mum. -It's alright.

It's not as if they write things that I didn't tell myself

thousands of times.

-Do you want me to stop blogging? -No, no.

I almost forgot... Did you see this in Rider's World?

"Abuse swept under the carpet."

"Recently, a young woman wrote on her blog about the abuse

"she'd had to endure during her childhood at a well-known horse farm.

"This sparked comments from others,

"also having experienced sexual abuse.

"The question must be asked: Is the riding world a risk environment?"

This thing you've started is something good.

Did they really write "castrate with a blunt ice skate"?

Yes!

-That's awful. -Sick.

Did you read her blog?

This must count as libel.

I understand how you feel, but there are things to consider.

I've made up my mind. I'm suing.

Well, just let me...

For one thing, Victoria may not be convicted.

How can that be? It's all here in black and white. Just read the blog.

She never mentions your name, she consistently calls you T.

That doesn't matter. Everyone knows who she means,

it can only be her dad.

But it's about how easily identifiable you are.

She writes that there's a Flashback internet forum thread.

And in there you'll find every little detail.

Police investigations, addresses, the lot.

You should also consider

whether you want a new trial against your daughter.

Of course I don't, but what can I do? I have to defend myself.

I'm being publicly lynched.

-You mentioned Flashback. -Yes.

I read that thread too.

There's an alias there. Henning P.

He posted a lot late the other night.

-Oh? -At 00:34 am he wrote:

"I know who you are and I swear I'll cut your throat."

-Why are you bringing this up? -Are you Henning P.?

No, of course not. Why would you think that?

The police could find out. And you were sentenced for unlawful threat.

Make your mind up, Carl. Will you help me or not?

I advise you not to sue.

Frida speaking.

Hello, Frida, this is Tommy.

-Hello. -Long time no see.

How's tricks?

I'm fine, thanks.

I'm glad to hear that! Listen, Frida.

My reason for calling is a bit troubling.

Vickan has written a bunch of lies on her blog.

Did you know about that?

Yes, I've read it.

Great, you're aware of the situation.

So someone needs to go in there and tell people about...

...what really happened, and that made me think of you.

I mean, if you could just go in

on the Heddesta website and write...

Nothing that complicated, just write about

what it was really like and that these are lies, you know?

No, I don't think I want to do that.

I can't write anything myself, no one will believe it.

It has to be someone on the outside.

Well, I'm not going to do it.

But it'll only take you half an hour.

What the hell... Is that too much to ask?

Was there anything else? I'm making dinner.

Frida, I don't think you understand how this is affecting my life.

I can't even go out, I'm...

I don't want to live anymore, Frida.

If I kill myself now, then it'll be your fault.

Go on then, Tommy. Kill yourself.

Thank you for coming.

I just want to say...

...to say I'm sorry.

So many things turned out wrong.

And I'm sorry for that.

It's okay. And it wasn't your fault.

-No. -No.

No, it wasn't.

And I'm really happy to be here. Really happy.

So am I.

Hi there!

Hi.

You pig!

David!

I think you'll win big today.

How dare you even show up here?

I'll have you know that everything my daughter wrote on her blog is lies.

All of it. From beginning to end.

I'm going to sue her for libel.

Anything else? We're trying to have a conversation.

Tommy has cancer. Lung cancer.

So, I don't think he has much time left.

I'm glad you like the robe.

Sometimes, I think about the first time I was in a competition.

Do you remember that?

Your helmet slid down over your eyes.

Your jacket came down to your ankles.

But oh, how you could ride.

I don't remember being afraid or nervous or anything like that.

No. You were experienced when you were five.

How many competitions did you two win?

Every one of them, right?

You could have become Malin Baryard. Or better.

Perhaps.

That was all I... That's why I...

You won't become the best unless you...

There's a price.

Why did we have to be the best?

Because you could. You were talented.

You had great horses. I knew how to train you.

I never had those conditions when I grew up.

You oppressed us.

We weren't allowed to feel that we'd done something good.

There's always room for improvement.

You beat us.

My whole life was about trying to figure out what mood you were in.

And to protect Mum.

-Your mum drank too much. -So did you. You drank even more.

My dad was never at home.

Mum was a nutcase.

There was total chaos all the time.

When that's what it's like around you...

Eventually, it's like that inside you too.

Or maybe I got it from Mum.

Sure, I drank too much.

It affected you and Agnes.

If you'd only said this earlier...

...I wouldn't have had to write the blog.

All I wrote there was really for your eyes.

So that you'd understand what it was like for us.

I've always been very proud of you two.

You mustn't believe otherwise.

You know this is just a dream, right?

Hello?

Hi, it's me.

What do you want?

I want to know how you're doing. Are you at home?

No.

In the hospital?

Yes.

Can I come and visit you?

I'm glad you called.

Then you can start by saying you're sorry

for all the lies you've written.

And then write that in your blog too.

You should write that you regret it.

That you've hurt your father!

After that, you can come.

Hello, Krusse. Hello, little boy.

Hi there.

Hello. We're at Heddesta, checking on the horses.

He hasn't got many left, but I'm afraid they're in bad shape.

So we could really do with an emergency visit.

He won't get better, I'm afraid. He's in such bad shape.

The best thing for him would be to end this.

Thank you.

Thanks for always being there for me.

Goodbye.

VICKAN'S BLOG

8 MONTHS LATER

He's so beautiful.

-Really beautiful. -I agree.

Let's go.

Subtitles by Annika Yberg Svensk Medietext