Original subtitles

♪ ♪

Man: Did you know that one out of two marriages end in divorce?

One out of every two marriages,

50 percent of people get divorced.

- Yeah? - Where?

I don’t--

In the United States of America.

It does not exist anywhere else.

It exists but not the way it exists here.

It’s so easy.

- They have an argument-- - Yeah.

- --"Let’s get divorced." - Yeah.

It’s ridiculous.

- Work it out. - They split, that’s it.

We did work out for 65 years.

- Woman: No regrets - No regret.

- No regret. - No regret.

♪ ♪

♪ I like the way you look at me

♪ Your pretty, pretty eyes

♪ I like the way you love me

♪ And not the other guys

♪ I like the way you hold my hand

♪ The way you make me understan

♪ The way you tell me that you love me

♪ As I love you

♪ I like the way you look

♪ And I could write a book

♪ About your little loving ways

♪ And in a little while

♪ You give a little smile

♪ That will last for days and days

♪ I like the way you hold my hand

♪ The way you make me understan

♪ The way you tell me that you love me

♪ As I love you

- ♪ The stars at night - ♪ They are so bright

- ♪ They shine so bright - ♪ They’re so bright

♪ Lean on me ♪

This is my darling for life.

We are married 45 years, and this is my darling for life.

What about you?

Say something.

♪ As I love you

- ♪ The stars at night - ♪ They are so bright

- ♪ They shine so bright - ♪ They’re so bright ♪

[light traffic]

Susie: 65, 65 years is your anniversary this year.

Open it for me and read it for me, darling.

Okay, Mom.

"You’re loving and supportive, strong and courageous,

smart and caring.

I could go on and on, but it all comes down to this:

You’re an amazing woman."

- Oh, my Popi. - Nani: Am I like this?

- Oh, oh, oh. - Woman: Kiss him.

- Man: Kiss him. - Oh, oh, oh.

Woman: That’s so cute.

♪ ♪

Popi: I was born in Poland in a small town,

like 10,000 people.

♪ ♪

Nani: Before the war, I was a teenager, very happy.

I was belonging to a Yiddish organization,

and I met Popi there.

He wasn’t from the same town, but he was not far away.

He was writing letter to me, poems, you know, Polish

and Yiddish, wonderful letters.

♪ ♪

Popi: We were corresponding to each other quite a lot

until the war broke out.

♪ ♪

♪ [lyrics in Yiddish] ♪

Susie: My mom and dad, you know, they will outlive us all.

At 95 they sing at night together,

they sing all their Jewish songs,

and they get along beautifully.

And I know that when one of them--

--decides to leave the earth the next one will go the next day

because they are two peas in a pod.

- Woman: Oh, you left a-- - [laughter]

This is my love, love of my life.

Popi: Yippee.

♪ ♪

Popi: After the war, I was in a camp with my sister.

There was a girl from Rudy’s hometown.

And she said to me, "Do you know Rudy is looking for you?"

So I send her a telegram, "I’m coming."

Nani: And he was so happy that he found me.

He asked me mom to give me permission to marry him

because he’s so excited that he loved me

and he wants to marry me.

He got papers from his family,

papers that he can come to United States.

Susie came first.

Lili came second.

We lived ever happy again.

That’s the story.

Lili: Yes, that’s one story that we know.

And then came another story, a different story about Dad.

What?

Lili: About Dad--and Dad, Dad--what did you tell me

about Dad recently?

I don’t know; Susie told you.

Lili: You did.

You told me.

- I did? - Lili: Yes, you did.

You did.

- I can’t talk about that. - Lili: Okay.

But this is the thing--

I don’t want to talk about that.

Lili: You don’t want to talk about that?

Man: No way.

Man: Happiness.

[coughs]

Okay.

This is the most painful testimony

I will--I’m willing to reveal you about my life.

In the early age, I discovered that I am loving...

Males.

At that time in my life, to be gay was a crime

and condemned to choose either to commit suicide

or to live in a closet.

I decided to live.

Cameron: It was a weird thing.

My sister Ashley and I--I always joked with her

that Popi was gay in a past life.

But then it was confusing because he’s married to Nani

and they always seemed so in love--

--and attracting to each other, and kissing, and playful.

They were really good, um, actors, I guess,

because that wasn’t the case.

[laughter]

Man: All right, Let me start right here with you.

What do you think she said?

[laughter]

[laughter]

- Dr. Pepper. - Dr. Pepper, that is correct.

[applause]

Popi: I decided to live--not to live,

to exist in a world that did not understand

or approve human nature.

♪ ♪

I didn’t make it.

I was born like that.

That was the mistake I made in my life at that time.

But I had no choice.

That was the way the world dictated.

Either you live or you die.

♪ ♪

For 90 years I was in pain and still am.

♪ ♪

Popi: Why should I take it to my grave?

I want you to know the way I feel and who I am.

You don’t know because I never talked about it

and I never let you know or feel what is going on in my heart.

Never.

Until now.

♪ ♪

Cameron: They to us were an example of, like,

this amazing relationship between a man and a woman,

because for us, they’ve been together

the longest we’ve known of anybody else.

They have an amazing family.

They had this business.

They lived this life that from the outside looked really great

and something that we would aspire to have.

And then it was hard because we thought,

"Oh my God, it’s all a lie.

What does it mean?"

♪ ♪

I was just going to say about Popi--

it’s very strange now, because now when I go see Dad--

--it’s like, "Okay, you’re my dad,

but now I know there’s a whole life that I don’t know about."

And it’s like, "Who are you?

Who are you really?"

Popi: Who I am, I am.

Nani: Why did you marry me?

Popi: Because I was stupid and young and I was afraid.

That’s why.

Do you understand now?

I understand.

Popi: Why didn’t you look for somebody else if you knew that?

I didn’t know at that time.

- Popi: Oh, you knew that. - Nani: No.

You can’t bring those--those years back.

They’re gone.

Nani: You put up my life.

You did.

You shouldn’t have done that.

- Popi: No, I shouldn’t. - No.

Popi: I blame myself, I know.

What do you want me, to commit suicide

because I did the wrong thing?

What do you want me to do?

Nani: I could do the same thing.

So do it.

- Who doesn’t let you? - Nani: What’s my life?

- What’s my life? - Popi: What’s my life?

- What’s my life? - I don’t have a husband.

Popi: And I don’t have a wife.

You made my life miserable already.

Popi: So did you.

Susie: There’s a problem that we didn’t really anticipate

with Dad coming out, is Mom and Dad’s relationship

and how Mom is dealing with all of this.

And I think that we’re giving a lot--with Dad,

a lot of attention for his needs, which he deserves

because he’s been suppressed for so many years.

But it doesn’t just affect him, because they’ve been one person

for many years; it affects Mom as well.

And also realizing why I was not that close with her growing up,

and that Dad was the one that I could talk to,

that he was always the one that I would go to with my problems.

Well, Mom probably was so suppressed with her having

to stuff this information, that she maybe was afraid

to get too close to us, or wasn’t getting the love

she needed from Dad and didn’t know

how to give it back.

♪ ♪

Susie: My feeling about her is, you know,

she would have gone to her grave not speaking about this.

And she wanted to, go to her grave.

♪ ♪

Nani: Life is cruel, you know?

Life is wonderful, but sometimes very cruel.

♪ ♪

Nani: My life was painful, very painful.

♪ ♪

He loved the children, he loved myself,

but he loved me as a brother, not as a husband.

I sacrificed very much.

None of my friends knew.

We didn’t talk about it to nobody.

We just stuck together and lived together until today.

That’s it.

♪ ♪

Nani: I--I was [indiscernible] all those years.

I couldn’t do the other way.

I just had two children.

I want them to have their father,

so we stuck together, that’s it.

Now at this point, we are 95, we love each other,

and we live together you know how many years?

65 years I live like that.

♪ ♪

Woman: My question is, how are we going to have it where

the two of you are going to get along--

--for the rest of your life now?

What are we going to do?

How are we going to--how are we going to--

--how are we going to work this out?

How are we going to work it out?

I can’t hear.

Lili: How are we going to work it out that you get along

with Daddy?

- You know Daddy’s gay, right? - Nani: Yeah.

- You know he’s gay? - Nani: Yeah.

So what do you think of that?

Nani: Come here and talk.

Are you going to let Daddy be who he is?

Nani: I love this man.

He is my life.

We know each other since children.

Can you imagine?

There’s nobody for me exist except my husband.

- Yes. - Nani: That’s my problem.

Yes.

Lili: Daddy is not happy.

- Nani: Huh? - Lili: He’s not happy.

So what can I do?

I’m not happy either.

So what can I do?

We live together and we will die together.

Lili: Okay, wait.

So if you’re not--you know he’s not happy

and you say you’re not happy, how can you become happy?

Maybe you should live in two separate apartments next door

to each other.

What?

Never in my life.

- I don’t want that. - Lili: Why?

- Separate apartments? - Lili: Next door.

No.

Would you like to live separate from me?

- Huh? - Would you?

- What? - Would you?

- No! - So, what’s the use?

Nani: Listen, but if I want to, would you?

Yes.

Nani: You would live separate from me?

- Mm hmm. - Nani: Oh my God.

I can’t believe that.

You know what, if you tell me that, you know what I would do?

There’s a window.

See that window?

I would--I would do that.

I will.

Popi: That window is not big enough to jump.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

Susie: My parents are glued at the hip.

And I really blame that on my dad

because he literally trained my mother to be with him 24/7.

They had one car.

He drove her to work.

He didn’t give her driving lessons when she was younger.

They shopped together.

They cooked together.

She never had her on chequebook.

She didn’t even own a key to the front door.

What does she need a key for if she was with my father

all the time and he had a key?

Their life was their business and their family.

So Dad actually created his own catastrophe,

if you want to call it, of them being codependent

on each other.

Popi: I can’t.

I can’t.

I go on the street.

I go on the street.

So, Daddy, you’re 95 and you’re getting divorced?

Hmm?

At 95 that’s when you’re decide together get a divorce, at 95?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

How many years can you take that?

Lili, how many years can you take that?

Be a prisoner how many times, how many years?

A hundred?

- Lili: Why do you-- - I don’t want a hundred.

This is just a very outrageous situation at this point.

It’s crazy.

It’s--it’s crazy.

I just want to make both of them happy.

I want them both to be happy.

Making my mom happy, that’s going to be challenging,

but the good news and bad news and the bittersweet of it is,

is that she has dementia.

So, maybe she’ll remember a little bit of it

and maybe she will, uh--she’ll happily forget.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Brandon: Yeah, Popi made all these pictures for you.

They’re beautiful.

He painted all those pictures for you.

♪ ♪

Popi: You think, "Okay, I’ll get married.

If I don’t like it, I’ll divorce."

♪ ♪

Popi: In the years we lived, there was no choice.

♪ ♪

Popi: You know how she found out?

I had a lover, and I was going every night to see him.

I used to tell her that I’m going to the bathhouse,

you know, to take a steam and all that.

♪ ♪

Popi: So she called up the place and wanted to talk to me,

and they said, "He is not here.

He never was here today."

That was it.

And I come home.

She said, "Where in the world were you?"

♪ ♪

Popi: You can imagine how she reacted.

♪ ♪

Popi: She was walking on the freeway.

She wanted to commit suicide.

At that time, she was born in and raised like that.

Keep it together no matter what.

She just couldn’t accept that.

And she was sorry that it did happen to her.

She could have anyone when she was single.

Would you take that?

Would you live like that?

No.

Nobody would.

♪ ♪

Tripp Mills: There’s the man.

You don’t have to get up.

Just saying hi.

Popi: Oh.

[Popi laughs]

[Popi’s muffled comments]

Lili: Let’s say Mom--let’s say Mom passed away.

Let’s just say, for pretend, right?

Would you live with a man?

Of course I would.

Even now if she is alive, it doesn’t matter.

Lili: Oh, so you would like to live with a man now?

Yeah.

Lili: Okay.

You said you wanted to meet somebody, right?

Isn’t that what you told me?

- Popi: Mm hmm. - Meet another guy.

Lili: Well, you know, why can’t you have a couple guys now?

I don’t know if you have to be--

Well, I can have a dozen even.

[laughs]

She said, "Why can’t you have a couple guys?"

And I said, "I can have a dozen."

- [laughter] - Sounds good to me.

[laughter]

I remember meeting you and you were really excited

about the prom that we have in June

because we have the senior prom in June.

Popi: Yeah.

Tripp: Are you going to try to make it for the prom or what?

Are you going to try?

There you go.

- You know me. - There you go.

♪ ♪

Nani: I was shocked, I was surprised,

and I was hurting very much inside.

♪ ♪

Nani: I went to--you know, I went on the freeway

where cars are going, and I wanted to go

under the car.

♪ ♪

Nani: He told me everything.

And he says, "I feel now so sorry.

What did I do to you?

What did I do to you?"

♪ ♪

He says, "You are the most wonderful person I ever met.

What did I do to you?

I’m so sorry?"

♪ ♪

Popi: She kept it together and she suffered.

And she still suffers to this day.

♪ ♪

Popi: And that’s what hurts the most.

Muah.

Lili: So, Mommy, are you excited to go back to the Belmont today?

- Yes, very much. - Yeah.

Taking Mom home today.

It’s a big, big day.

My mother.

On a picture I saw her.

On a picture.

- Where is she? - Where is she?

She--she’s not here right now.

- No? - No.

- But she’s okay? - Of course she’s okay.

Here we go.

Lili: At the Belmont, we--you’re going

to--I’m going to take you to your apartment

where they--at the Belmont, you’re going to get

special physical therapy.

- Ah. - Okay?

It’s going to be great.

- You’re going to love it. - Yeah, I’m glad.

I’m glad, Lili.

And Daddy’s going to come visit you every day.

- Good. - Every day.

- Good. - Lili: Is that good?

- Yeah, I love that. - Lili: Good.

He’s going to come visit you.

But he can’t sleep there.

He can’t sleep in the same room with you.

I see.

Because you’re getting special, special care.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Lili: Is that good? - Of course.

Yay!

Woo-hoo!

Everything is fantastic.

Hi!

Okay, this is going to be so much fun.

Ta-da!

Beautiful!

Isn’t it like a little palace, Mommy?

- Yeah. - Do you love it?

- I love it. - Look at this.

- Nani: Sure, I love it. - Sure, you do.

Mommy, look, isn’t that beautiful?

- Nani: Yeah. - Lili: Yes.

And let me turn you around.

Lovely, lovely.

And lookit, there’s your vanity

where Marisha makes you look like a beauty queen.

- Look at my mom. - And there’s your mom.

- Welcome home, Mommy. - Welcome home, Nani.

Lili: Welcome home.

You should live and be well here for another hundred years.

- Oh my God. - [laughter]

Right?

♪ ♪

♪ I’ll tell you right now

♪ The future starts right now

♪ I’ll tell you right now

♪ I’ll tell you it’s all good

♪ I’ll tell you it’s all good

♪ Don’t care if you’re not like me

♪ I’ll tell you we’re all good

♪ ♪

- Man: Oh yes, - Hi!

♪ ♪

- ♪ I’ll tell you right now - ♪ Right now

♪ The future starts right now

- ♪ I’ll tell you right now - ♪ Right now

♪ I’ll tell you it’s all good

♪ I’ll tell you it’s all good

♪ Don’t care if you’re not like me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ [music over speaker] ♪

♪ Watch me now

♪ Hey, work, work

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- [applause] - Woman: Thank you.

We hope you’re having a great evening.

So we’re going to crown your king and queen.

And the way this works is that we start with the queen.

We have someone here that is 95.

And it looks like, Roman, you are our new queen.

[applause]

Woman: Come on up here and get your crown, honey.

[applause]

Crowd [chanting]: Roman, Roman.

♪ [music over speaker] ♪

[applause]

Crowd [chanting]: Roman, Roman.

♪ ♪

Woman: Jesse, will you do the honours?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Popi: What can I tell you?

♪ ♪

Popi: I wish I could be born 50, 60 years later than I was born.

♪ ♪

Popi: Then I would be free.

Completely free.

♪ ♪

Popi: Like a bird.

♪ ♪

Popi: I would find somebody and I would fall in love.

♪ ♪

Popi: But it didn’t happen.

It will never happen.

♪ ♪

Popi: It was too late for me.

♪ ♪

Nani, can you hear me?

It’s Brandy.

It’s Brandon.

No, she can’t hear me, huh?

Nani, it’s Brandy.

How are you, babe?

How are you, Nan?

Has it been difficult to be with Nani like this?

It’s murder.

I would like to see an end to it.

- An end? - An end.

Yeah, it’s too much.

- This is life? - No.

What is it?

Oh, what does she want?

[Nani indecipherable request]

Popi: What, sweetheart?

What, darling?

[kisses]

Popi: Hallelujah.

[Popi singing] ♪ Hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah, hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah ♪

[Popi laughs]

Popi: It’s nice?

It’s a nice song?

You like it?

Hallelujah.

[whispers] Hallelujah.

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish]

[Popi singing] ♪ That means I love you so

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish]

[Popi singing] ♪ That means I love you so

♪ I love you [indiscernible]

♪ Da, da, da, da, da

♪ Da, da, da, da, da

♪ Da, da, da, da, da

♪ Da, da, da, da, da

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish] ♪

[kissing]

Woman: Oh.

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish]

[Popi singing] ♪ That means I love you so

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish]

[Popi singing] ♪ That means I love you so ♪

Popi: She kept all the family intact.

I wasn’t able to do that.

I wasn’t able.

♪ ♪

Popi: In her suffering, she did it.

That’s why she’s so admirable.

I admire her.

♪ ♪

Popi: I feel she is the most wonderful person in the world.

Her nature, her behavior, her love, her everything.

I don’t know of anyone like her.

I don’t, because I can’t picture any woman

going through what she went through

and going on.

♪ ♪

Popi: Love is love.

But it does not compare, it does not--you can’t compare

with family like we have.

♪ ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Oh my God, look who’s coming!

- Woman: Nani. - Lili: Oh my God!

- ♪ ♪ - [cheering]

Lili: Mommy, you’re home.

Yeah, Mom!

- ♪ ♪ - Lili: Muah!

♪ ♪

Popi: Give me a kiss.

♪ ♪

[Popi singing faintly] ♪ Da, da, da, da, da, da

♪ Da, da

♪ Da, da

♪ Da, da, da, da, da

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish]

[Popi singing] ♪ That means I love you so

♪ [Popi sings in Yiddish]

- [wind whistles] - ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

This is my darling for life.

We are married 45 years, and this is my darling for life.

♪ ♪

Popi: We both had a very difficult, rough life.

But we coped through everything amazingly.

Not many people would cope in life like we both did.

But we did it, and we are proud of it.

We lived 65 years together.

Doesn’t it say something?

Doesn’t it mean anything?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I like the way you look at me

♪ Your pretty, pretty eyes

♪ I like the way you love me

♪ And not the other guys

♪ I like the way you hold my hand

♪ The way you make me understan

♪ The way you tell me that you love me

♪ As I love you

♪ I like the way you look

♪ And I could write a book

♪ About your little loving ways

♪ And in a little while

♪ You give a little smile

♪ That’ll last for days and day

♪ I like the way you hold my hand

♪ The way you make me understan

♪ The way you tell me that you love me

♪ As I love you ♪

♪ ♪