Original subtitles

Hand over the mogwai and all will be forgiven, Elle.

Oh! Hear that? The bad human knows Elle. What a shock.

Hey, that's not fair.

Not fair?

If she hadn't bum-rushed the portal, I wouldn't be full of poison,

my favorite bar wouldn't be surrounded by monsters,

and my favorite mogwai, you, would be safe at home.

If anything, my sarcasm was an act of kindness.

If my mogwai dies,

it's because of your selfishness.

Hey!

Psst.

- Radish? - We thought we should warn you.

Greene and the bad mogwai are here.

Uh, yeah. Thanks for the warning, Radish.

What or who are the rest of you?

- We're farmers. - And fabulous.

Not to jinx it,

but I think they're gonna be our new family.

Yeah, yeah. Glad at least one of us might get a happy ending.

Wait. How did you guys get inside?

We could tell you, but you might want to distract those evil mogwai.

I have an idea.

Distraction!

Bright light.

I... I did it.

Oops.

Classic humans.

Not yet.

I want to make sure we wait until the poison truly takes hold.

I prefer fights I know I can win,

especially against a Goddess.

Oh, this ring really complements my skin,

which does not go with everything.

You say she protects against all magic?

Bright Light! Bright Light!

Really? Fire counts as bright light, too?

Here I assumed arson would be up your alley.

Are you cowering?

If I were paying you, I'd be furious

that I'm doing my own bidding right now.

Where is my mogwai, and the Goddess, and those wretched children?

Where are they?

Ah, Sam Wing. Answer me, boy.

Hi, I'm Radish.

Another child?

You are not mogwai.

I know. But we're confused for them

all the time.

Maybe it's our accents.

Whoever told you the mogwai was here was wrong.

It's just us.

- Maybe you should give up— - Stop!

Not another time-sucking word from you, human scamp!

Out! Out! Out!

Go find my mogwai.

You mean to tell me that you've been drinking

in that bar for 1,000 years and never knew it had a wine cellar?

Hey, I just drank the wine.

I don't ask where it comes from.

Is Radish gonna be okay?

What? He volunteered.

Besides, he's a survivor who found a family.

You should be asking that about us.

Sisters rejoice.

There's a furry mogwai in the market.

And Nuwa's too weak to protect it.

Who fancies a bite of immortality?

Can't you move any faster?

One more complaint and I swear I'll drop you on your magical face.

Oh! How very human of you.

Something's not comfortable and you give up.

Good plan.

Do you two even have a plan?

Oh, we did.

But it turned out to be a mean old drunk who can't let go of the past.

Both of you need to stop.

The plan is to get somewhere safe,

- away from Greene. - Bad plan.

Okay. Is everything you say negative?

Not when I'm talking to an intelligent creature.

Remember, everything here wants to eat Gizmo.

Nowhere is safe.

Gizmo's in more danger than your tiny human brains can imagine.

Fine, old witch.

You don't like our plan. What's yours?

Well, I'm not going to respond to being called a witch.

So, [clears throat] get me to the Bagua room

on the other side of the market, across the bridge.

It's a cosmic crossroads.

So even though I don't have magic,

there's someone there that can send Gizmo,

and only Gizmo, home.

Oh, no. Fox Spirits.

Oh, we met one of those cuties in the market.

I just want to squeeze her.

They're not cute. We have to move.

But she's waving. I can't be rude.

Hello. How are you, Mrs. Fox Spirit?

It's "Miss," and thank you for inquiring.

I'm quite well and quite hungry.

- Okay. I don't think they're cute anymore. - Go, go, go!

Nuwa!

That is for groceries,

not Goddesses.

Get it off! Get it off!

Right. You got weapons and stuff in your box.

Well, it's mostly rope.

But I think there's some explosives.

What? You've had that this entire time?

Explosives are wasted on you, Sam Wing.

Wait. We need to go further away.

Sam, give me the box. I have a plan.

After the mogwai!

- Let's hope... - ... this works.

Not a Fox Spirit in sight. Elle's plan worked.

Now it's only everyone else that wants you?

How come they all know where you are?

Right. They can smell you.

You're like, super smelly to them.

We'll never lose them.

Which means I'm going to have to fight them.

Please tell me there's another way.

Gizmo? Gizmo. Gizmo!

Ugh. I can't smell anything but fish.

- This should work. - Bagua room!

I think it's working.

That was a real two for one.

Saving Gizmo and proving you wrong.

About what? That you have a plan?

We're still being chased.

What? No! That I'm selfish.

Look at me risking my life for Gizmo.

All I see is a reckless grifter,

trying to con me into sending her

to The Valley of Jade for treasure.

Hey, I can want treasure,

and want to get Gizmo home, too.

Humans always have excuses and justifications and sob stories.

But when the moment comes and it's you or them,

you always choose you, don't you, Elle?

Elle.

Hand me the mogwai,

and perhaps some of this can be forgiven.

Of course, the other monsters hate you.

See, this is why you never meet old reckless grifters.

What are you doing?

Introducing my favorite monsters to each other.

Intentionally or not,

thank you for my mogwai, Elle.

Do not let them pass.

Charge!

Still think this was a good idea?

Nah. I know it was.

Sisters, we've been bamboozled.

Huh?

Ooh, eyes.

Is that it?

I can't tell the difference between what looks magical or normal anymore.

Yep, that's it.

Great. Then you're almost home.

Sam?

Mmm.

Elle! Nuwa!

Elle! Nuwa! You made it.

Of course. What did you expe—

What reeks?

Me!

He's covered in dead fish. It's brilliant.

Ugh. It's literally the worst thing I've ever smelled.

I know.

Hey, thanks for handling the Fox Spirits. That was really brave.

- Well, obviously. - Opportunism can look that way to the naive.

- Oh! - I cannot wait till the poison hits your mouth.

Sam, help me get her to the Bagua room.

It'll be just a second while I make sure we can get in.

You're not even sure you can get in?

Are there any perks of being a Goddess?

My guy sometimes takes a long lunch. Come on, Gizmo.

Whoa!

Help! Help!

- Gizmo! - No!

Hang on, Gizmo!

What do we do?

Elle, You might want to stay back.

Um, excuse me?

Sam!

You did it!

You stupid, stupid, stupid humans.

You pushed a River Spirit into the river,

the literal source of its power.

Oh, no, no, no!

No!

No!

Elle!

Her pulse is weak.

Elle!

Uh, hold her hand, Gizmo. Talk to her.

Elle, please, hold on.

She's not breathing! I need to get to a medicine shop.

There's nothing you or any human can do for her.

Nuwa?

What have you been drinking?

Why is there a dead River Spirit on my doorstep?

- And a dead human girl? - Almost dead.

And I don't have magic right now, so you're it. We're bringing her inside.

Inside? To do what?

Nuwa, I'm your celestial administrator, not a party trick.

Don't get blood on the floors.

What are you doing?

That's basically flower balm.

She is dying.

Thank you for yelling information I already have.

That cream's not going to work.

Let me do something. She needs—

You, to let me work.

And for the record, of course, I know this is just flower balm.

I'm not done mixing, kid.

There's one more ingredient that changes everything.

What did you just put in there?

It's unpronounceable if you have a human mouth.

Elle! You're alive.

Is Gizmo okay?

Not much surprises me, Elle. But you did.

Administrator, prepare a portal to The Valley of Jade.

You're all going through the portal.

Huh?

Even me?

The mogwai is approved, but you'll need portal visas.

Lose them, I show up and detain you.

Any vandalism to The Valley of Jade, I detain you.

Take anything without declaring it upon re-entry, I—

Long bureaucracy short: try not to mess everything up, okay?

Now go.

I'll hold them off long enough for you to escape.

What! No, come with us.

How can you slow them down?

No offense, but you have no powers.

He's going to enchant my Guandao.

It won't last for long, but it might be enough.

Don't let me down.

Nuwa!

Tallyho!

Nuwa, no! Nuwa!

Come on, hurry up. They're right outside the door.

Whoa!

Nuwa, no!

Elle, are you okay?

If that's what you call it.

Where are we?

Valley of Jade!

We go.

What?

That jeweler knew his product.

This little ring is impervious to magic.

Then use it. What are you waiting for?

Excellent question.

Where is my mogwai?

You'll never be able to find him or The Valley of Jade.

Only a God can.

And you are not a God.

Well, actually, you don't know about my unique skill,

learned from years of treasure hunting and to be absolutely blunt,

pure talent.

No, no, no, no!

The man knows how to steal the show.

The knowledge of a God.

Ugh. Pearl Magic?

Including the location of The Valley of Jade.

I'm glad I ate light today.

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