Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

One, two! One, two, three, four!

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

[chicken squawks]

Remy, over here! Point that camera at me!

All right, here goes!

First boy to ever juggle a dozen eggs!

This one's for the record books,

so do not miss it this time.

I am runnin' outta eggs.

Okay, I'm ready!

Jugglin' egg one!

Jugglin' two eggs!

I'm goin' for three! Can I do it?!

-Oh, hello, little guy! -Three eggs! Remy!

-Four! -You need something?

-Hey! Are you catching this? -Oh, I love you, too!

Remy! Aaah!

[Remy] Oh. Sorry, Cricket.

I got distracted again.

At least Tilly saw it. Right, Tilly?

Huh? Oh, sorry. I was lookin' at a cloud.

And he was lookin' at me.

[ominous music playing]

What's the point of doing somethin' cool if no one sees it?

Well, sometimes it's not all about you, Cricket.

Sometimes it's about a dang creepy cloud

watchin' your every move.

Is it really so hard for a guy to get

a little bit of attention around here?

[Bill] Kids, come here! I got somethin' excitin' to show ya!

What's goin' on, Dad?

Is that pig doin' that weird thing again, or--? [gasps]

[chuckles] That's the size of a winner.

-Wow! -Oh, my gosh! -Mr. Green!

Pretty impressive, huh?

-Wooowwwww! -Incredible!

Where'd you get it?

I didn't get it. I grew it!

With dirt and water

and my heart.

[kids] Awww!

Dad's heart melon!

I can almost hear it beatin'.

This year, I'm goin'

for the giant watermelon prize at the county fair.

A county fair is a farmer's one chance

to spotlight his accomplishments.

It sure would be a dream to win.

-All right, Dad! -Way to go, Papa!

Mr. Green, that's a great dream,

and you'll be able to dream it forever,

because there is no county fair in Big City!

What?

I said there is no county fair in Big Cit...y.

Oh, gosh, you didn't know!

I'm so sorry. I thought everyone knew that!

No, everyone did not know that.

All that work for nothin'.

Guess I'll just have to take her

behind the shed and smash her.

Poor Papa.

It ain't right. Dad works hard.

And he deserves to be recognized for the fruits of his labor!

It's literally the fruit of his labor!

How can we get everyone to see this melon?

Behold! My dad's watermelon!

[grunting]

[triumphant march playing]

Or we could just call the news.

Oh, yeah. That's a much better idea.

Didja check the radiator?

Yes, Ma.

How 'bout the engine?

Remember, that's the big vroom vroom that makes the car go?

-Why are you out here again? -For funsies!

[car horn honks]

[action music playing]

Channel 11 News reporting for duty!

And that duty is reporting.

All right, everyone set up.

And don't be afraid to move or break something to get the shot!

What the--?! Get the heck off my lawn!

I don't know who you think you are, but...

Hmm. Can we get a friendlier grandma? No?

Let's just get her out of here.

Stay back now! Don't you manhandle me!

-I will bite! -What is goin' on?!

I'm Maria Media with Channel 11 News.

We got a hot tip about a big fruit.

You heard about the watermelon?

We pride ourselves on always knowing the hottest news stories!

I just robbed a bank!

-Ha ha ha! -[siren]

That's fantastic!

Though I don't know who told you about all this.

[Cricket] I did! Introducing the mega-melon!

Grown by my dad, Bill Green!

-Oh, son. -Wow!

Pretty impressive, huh?

I can see it now: Big man, bigger melon.

Hey.

Well, let's get this started.

Everyone set up.

This is your big chance, Dad.

You've worked hard.

Now it's time to bask in the spotlight.

Thanks, son.

Show 'em what ya got, Dad.

We did a good thing.

I'm here in downtown Big City

where I found something growing out of control.

Uh... Oh, boy.

What drove this daredevil farmer

to prove his dominance over nature?

Bill Green, why did you do it?

Is this... bein'... recorded?

It sure is.

What's he doin' with his arms?

Well, how did you grow it so big?

I... put a seed...

in the dirt, and...

[too close to microphone] watered it.

Oh, no, he's freezin' up!

Made sure it got sunshine,

but not too much... sunshine.

Just kept doin' that.

That... that's about it.

Are you sure there isn't a cat

stuck in a tree somewhere that we can cover?

He's losin' 'em! I gotta help him!

R-Rain is good. Saves water.

Whoo-hoooo! Oh, my gosh!

Wouldya look at this watermelon!

It's so big.

Have you ever seen a watermelon this big?

I bet not. It's so amazing,

I just wanna... dance!

♪ Watermelon! Watermelon! ♪

Cricket! What are you doing?!

I'm spicin' it up a little!

I got your back, Dad.

And, uh, and fertilizer!

That's a melon's best friend.

♪ Fertilizer is a melon's friend! ♪

[gasps] I take back what I said.

Keep rolling.

To keep it from growin' lumps, ya gotta turn it.

I keep a schedule, ya see?

Tuesdays and Fridays...

Huh?

Eeeee!

I can't wait to see Dad's interview!

I wonder if anything I did made the cut?

Maybe they'll use one of your watermelon jokes.

They were funny.

[gasps] Well, bless your heart!

Mr. Green, you're going to be famous!

Heh heh!, Oh, I-- I won't be famous.

The watermelon will!

[gasps] I've been pinned under this thing for 20 minutes!

Wow. Your old man's proudest accomplishment, on TV.

I gotta admit, I'm a little nervous.

It'll be great!

With a little touch of Cricket spice,

you got nothin' to worry about.

-[news theme playing] -It's startin'!

[announcer] Live from downtown Big City,

it's Channel 11 News at 6!

Good evening. I'm Maria Media.

Our first story takes us downtown

where I found something growing out of control.

Here we go!

And what I found was... this little boy!

-[gasp] -Wha... ? -Huh?

[Maria] When we showed up to film

some other boring thing,

local funny-boy Cricket Green

showed us the true meaning of wacky!

Aaah! My finger's broken!

Just kiddin'. I tricked ya, huh?

[Maria] This little boy showed us

how to unleash our inner Cricket.

I'm a talkin' dog!

[fart noises]

It's the back of my knees!

Ohhh, I made it too spicy.

Is there anything you'd like to say to Big City?

I'm Cricket Green, and I'm number one!

No! They cut me off!

I was gonna say, "I'm number one

at appreciating this watermelon!"

On to our next story...

Did anyone even see the watermelon?

I did! It was in my way the whole time!

You kinda took over, Cricket.

I... I don't know what happened!

It was all a blur!

I saw the camera lens on me, and, well...

-Ha ha ha ha! -[claps] Cricket!

Ah! Whoa. Okay, I'm sorry,

but, I mean, ya gotta admit,

I gave them some really good material,

and they used it!

You can't blame me for that.

[Bill] Ah, you're right, son.

You make for pretty good television.

Hm! Dang it, Cricket, it's not always about you!

Remy, Tilly! Help me with this!

Cricket, what are you doin'?

Don't touch that remote!

I'm gonna make things right!

Cricket, you can't just--

We're not going anywhere!

I wanna see the next story.

[Maria] Next up, can paper kill?

If it can, I'll be ready.

[grunting and panting]

It wasn't easy, but we got her here.

I don't know if this is gonna work,

but dang it, it's the only plan I've got!

And now you know the shocking truth about paper.

I know I'll think twice about makin' a paper airplane.

Maria, this isn't funny.

Well, he's got that right. [laughing]

-Look out! -Huh? Aah!

Honey, there's a gosh dang watermelon on TV!

[woman] Zip it, Ed!

Well, melons are coming to take what's rightfully theirs.

Make way for mega-melon!

Unh! Attention, citizens of Big City!

Do not attempt to adjust your televisions!

-[gasps] -Cut to commercial!

-[snap] -I wouldn't do that if I were you.

We're your worst nightmare!

Aah ya ya ya ya!

Too much.

Y'all better listen up,

'cause I got somethin' real important to say!

Oh, my gosh! That's that weird funny kid from earlier!

Yes, yes, that was me.

Oh! Can you do your little dance?

It was so funny!

-Yeah! -Keep it up, kid!

No, no, no! You don't understand!

I'm not here for me!

Dance, little doomsday boy!

Dance! Dance! Dance!

The camera loves ya, kid! Do it again!

Aah! Stay back! This isn't about me!

Aah! No! My body's betrayin' me!

This boy was made for the spotlight!

He's givin' in!

I... came here to do...

somethin'... but...

I can't remember.

All I see is me...

and they love me!

[man] You're so talented!

[woman] You're a star!

[man] Dance for us!

We love you, Cricket!

-[moaning] -Huh?

-[moaning] -Huh? Who is that?

Son? [coughs]

Dad! What's wrong?

I-- I need light.

Light? But that's my light.

-Come back, Cricket! -You're the star!

Ooh, ya sure ya don't need, like, water or anything else?

No. Light.

Hmm!

Yes!

Take the spotlight, Dad! You deserve it!

I'm growing.

I feel... aliive!

Grow, Dad! Grow!

[crew applauding]

[man] That's a funny kid right there!

Kid, you're ratings gold!

No! Listen up! I'm here on a selfless mission!

I'm such a dang charismatic fool,

I had to go and steal the spotlight

when it should have been on my dad, Bill Green,

and his amazing watermelon!

Son.

He worked so hard and asked for no kudos.

But the man deserves his kudos.

So admire this melon.

I want all of Big City to bask in its glory!

Bask!

Wow! That Bill Green sure knows how to grow a watermelon!

That's a prize watermelon right there.

[woman] Zip it, Ed!

My dad grew it with dirt, water, and love!

I did!

-Awwww! -He did it!

Now if everyone would do me the favor

of placing their lips on the TV screens.

Let's all give the melon a biiiig kiss!

Oh!

Aah!

I can't believe it.

My watermelon was on TV!

[laser blasts]

We're comin' for ya, space scum!

Yeah! You, uh, dorks!

Good one, Remy.

Whoo-hoo!

Squadron A, what is your status? Over.

We're great! Cricket and I defeated a lot of enemies!

We got moneeyyy!

Excellent. Squadron B, report!

Kiki here! We're officially space millionaires!

Benny here!

Does wealth justify the killing?

Weezie here, and you know how it is.

Weezie, my man!

You're the best.

I can't see any more baddies on my radar.

-Good job, everyon-- Oh. -[beeping]

Hold on! Three unknown crafts approaching!

Oh. You don't suppose...?

I hope its not--

-Oh, noooooo! -Oh, no.

Huh? What? Hope it's not who?

They're comin' from behind you!

Greetings, idiots!

Ha ha! They got li'l hats on their ships!

Oh, no... it's them!

The meanest online bullies that ever lived!

That's right! We are the Cyber Knights!

-The cyber-what-now? -Just do what they say!

We don't stand a chance against these guys!

All right, hand over your space coins or get wasted!

No one do anything stupid.

Remy, just give them the money.

I don't wanna die! I don't wanna die!

I said hand over the space coins!

These guys are all whack-a-do.

What are you gonna do, Remy?

Oh, I don't know! I should just do it, right?

They're being so confrontational!

Should I call my parents?

Remy, get a hold of yourself!

You've got to stand your ground!

I'm sorry, Cricket. I can't.

Remy, no, stop! Don't do it!

[beeps]

[Cyber Knights laughing]

Thanks for the coin, chumps!

Now beat it! This is our astro-turf!

Yeah, and try not to cry too much on your way out!

[all laughing]

No pwomises.

Hmm! Know what I think?

Y'all are a bunch of bullies!

[gasps] Cricket, what are you doing?!

You can't talk to them like that!

Aah! Beanbag betrayal!

-What was that?! -How dare you defy us?!

We are the Cyber Knights,

and we demand that you bow down to us!

I ain't bowin' down to nobody,

and I never will. [raspberry]

And that is how you deal with punks like them.

Aah! Aah! Beanbag betrayal!

Yeah, you gotta stand up for yourself

or people will walk all over ya.

That's a Cricket life tip.

Also, a block of cheese is a sometimes snack.

That's a Tilly life tip.

I had no idea you could just stand up to bullies like that.

-[buzzing] -Huh?

[Cyber Knights leader] Oh, Hello, Cricket!

What the heck? A robot bird?!

No, it's the Cyber Knights in real life!

That's right!

We're here to give you one more chance

to bow down to us!

See, Remy, this is exactly what I'm talkin' about.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again!

I'll never bow down to you!

Ha ha ha! We have ways of making you comply.

For starters, we'll hack your email!

I don't have an email.

Oh. Well, we'll hack your smartphone!

-Don't got a smartphone. -Your laptop!

Don't got a laptop.

Your handheld tablet!

Oh, no! Not my handheld tablet!

[laughs] Just kiddin'.

Don't got one of those, either.

I can't believe it.

This guy has no electronics.

Face it, cyber-weenies,

looks like you can't touch ol' Cricket Green!

[leader] Ahh!

Perhaps we'll have to try a different strategy.

[phone ringing]

Peachfuzz, they hacked my phone!

Enjoy your trip, Remy.

Huh? Trip?

-[horn honks] -Hello, there!

I'm from the kid-friendly rideshare app Goober!

I'm here for Remy Remington?

Oh, no! There's been a mistake.

I have to cancel the ride.

Well, if you cancel,

I'll have to demote you a star.

Not my perfect five-star rating!

Cricket, just do what they ask

before this gets out of hand!

Okay, off to the airport!

Hurry, Cricket!

Remy, no!

Dang you, Cyber Knights!

-Hey, where'd you go? -[blood curdling scream]

That was Kiki!

Oh, my gosh! What have they done?!

Kiki! Did those jerks throw you in the trash?

No, I put myself in the trash.

What-- What are you talkin' about?

I was just playing my Bintendo Twist,

when that drone came and--

deleted all my saved data!

[both gasp]

That's horrible!

I have nothing now,

and it's all your fault, Cricket.

Why did you have to upset them?

Why, Cricket?!

Uh... well... don't worry, I'm gonna make things right!

Cricket! Look!

[Cricket] They're headed for the park!

Let's go!

Mmm!

Hey, Weezie! Can I have a turn?

Yeah. Do life.

Wheeee!

-[beeping] -Huh?

Whee! Whoa!

Aaaah!

Aaah!

-[Weezie grunts] -Oh, no!

[leader laughing]

Hey! Cut that out!

[laughing]

Cricket! What's going on?!

I had Vasquez pick me up from the airport,

and then I found Kiki laying in the middle of the road!

No games, no will to live.

You've gotta give up, Cricket! Let them win!

Will you bow down now, Cricket?

Never! You only pick on people

from behind all those fancy gizmos!

Why not do it to my face!

Oh! You want to experience pain

from our true forms, do you?!

-'Sup, losers? -[coughs]

-[all gasp] -The Cyber Knights!

Oh, kinda thought they'd have, like, swords or somethin'.

Well, here we are Cricket. Do your worst.

I speak for all of us when I say

that we aren't afraid to stand up to you!

But, uh-- Where'd everyone go?!

Oh. Well, everyone is hiding

and being too afraid to stand up to the bullies.

[cowering]

Aah! [grunts]

I'm okay!

C'mon, guys! What's the matter with you?

We need to stick together

and stand up to these bullies as a team!

No way! You might not have anything to lose,

but they'll keep torturing us for the rest of our lives.

We are slaves to the cycle.

It ain't easy being Weezie.

Oh, man, that's rough. I'm so sorry.

It's okay, Weezie.

Let's go home and change all our passwords.

Well, I'm gonna fight for all of us,

even if you guys don't want to fight for yourselves!

Remy! You've still got my back, right, bud?

I'm-- I'm sorry, Cricket.

I don't want any more trouble.

If you just do what they say,

they won't bother us anymore.

But that's why we have to stand up to them.

They're bein' super mean for no reason!

I'm not gonna let them walk all over us.

I'm... I'm sorry.

I don't know what to do anymore!

Remy! Remy, wait!

Wait, Remy, wait!

Remy, don't go!

Remy! Aw, come on, Remy!

Remyyyy!

Yeah, c'mon back, Remy! Come on!

Remy, wait! Remyyyy!

Remy!

Oh, no, Remy, c'mon!

Remy, wait! Remyyyy!

Uhp, he's gone.

Uh, hello! What happened to standing up to us, huh?

Or are you all talk?

What do you say we finish this with a duel?

If I win, you leave me and all my friends alone.

If I lose, I bow down to you.

Deal. But I choose the weapons.

Squirt guns, water balloons, snowballs?

'Cause if its snowballs, we're gonna have to wait till winter.

Uh, drones, obviously!

Dang it. Probably shoulda seen that comin'.

Fine! Drones it is!

So what're we waitin' for?

Actually, my sunscreen's wearing off.

Uh, yeah, my mega anime torrent just finished downloading, so...

Whatever!

We'll finish this tomorrow at dawn!

See you then, loser!

[all laughing]

Cricket, what're you doin'?

You don't have a drone!

I'll think of somethin', Tilly.

I just don't get it.

I know I'm doin' the right thing,

but since folks are gettin' hurt,

it feels like the wrong thing!

Oh, brother, I wish I could lend a machete

to your moral thicket.

Thanks, Tilly. Now if you'll excuse me,

I have a lonely battle to prepare for.

[dramatic music playing]

[wind whistling]

This is gonna be a walk in the park.

[all laughing]

I get it.

You brought your drone,

and I brought mine!

What the heck is that?

Ha! You think you can beat us with a kite?

Let's duel!

Yah!

[all laughing]

[Cricket, battle cry] Aaaah!

[Cyber Knights laughing]

Isn't that nice, sweetie?

Kids just playin' around.

[Cyber Knights] Destroy! Destroy! Destroy!

[grunting] Hyah!

[Cyber Knight #2] Can't dodge our attacks forever!

Oh!

[both] Oh, no!

Our beautiful drones!

Respawn, you fool! Respawn!

Ha ha! Gotcha!

Oh, you don't got nothin'!

Oh, cranberries!

Aah! Yaah! Oh, no! My kite!

[leader] Face it! You lost!

Now bow down to the Cyber Knights!

Never!

Then you leave me with no choice but to destr--

Huh? What the?!

What is this?

Huh?!

[gasps] Guys! You're here!

Yeah, Tilly told us what you were planning.

You were right, Cricket.

We don't want to run away for the rest of our lives.

It is what it is.

Yeah. What Weezie said.

Let's end this, brother.

Yeah! Together!

Grrr! I don't care how many of you there are!

You'll never take down my drone!

Never! Never! Neverrrr!

Huh?

You're taking down my drone!

[kids cheering]

Cricket, deal the final blow!

With pleasure!

Oh, no.

Yaah!

Yaaah-gahh!

Kids just bein' kids.

Noooo!

Hey! Good game, but you lost.

So take your drones and leave us alones!

[growls]

Okay, whatever!

[all] Huh?

What is happening?!

Man, I think the batteries died.

You mean we gotta walk?

[all groaning]

Well, that's just sad.

Hey, thanks for encouraging us to stand up for ourselves.

Sorry we almost bailed on you.

Well, I'm sorry things got so out of hand

and all y'all's Internets almost died.

Also, thanks for comin' to save me.

Hey, where'd Benny go?

[Benny laughing]

I've taken out one bully,

time to take down the rest!

Ha! Claaassic Benny.

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got Bit by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch And scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Bit by a frog Got a rash on my leg ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters At seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪