Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

- So, I saved my favorite for last.

- Okay.

- I think you're really gonna like this one.

I mean, if I hadn't just bought last year,

this was on my shortlist.

- Really?

- Right.

Let's see, the owner should have left it on launch.

Here we go.

- Here we go.

- All right, so walking in, first things first,

It was remodeled in 2017.

Brand new appliances though, this year.

Recess lighting in all of the rooms.

Bamboo hardwood.

You get a tax credit for that.

- You do?

- Yeah, anything that's making it more eco-friendly

gives you a tax credit.

- Oh, actually, okay.

- It puts you in here, but the master has 10 foot vaulted.

- Oh, great.

- The bathrooms have heated ceramic tile.

- Really?

- Yes, you get out of the shower.

It's like a cold morning, you put your feet on it,

and it's like perfectly warm.

I love it.

- Oh, that's-- - I'm obsessed.

- That's incredible.

- It's a tri-level home, so you'll live longer.

Did you know that if you live in a home

with multiple stories, you live on average five years longer?

- Really? - Yeah, for real.

- Just get more exercise on this?

- Exactly.

Just gonna stay in for the baby.

No, it's a cute little spot.

And the neighborhood's nice.

Good schools.

- I don't know if you have a breathing relay for--

- Currently no, currently no.

- I hear ya, I just got rid of mine.

Okay, I'll do it.

- Really?

Oh, this is nice.

- It is so nice, I love the sun.

So this is, like I said, the vaulted ceilings.

Also recessed light.

- Mm-hmm.

- It's just, even for the recessed light,

you don't need it because there's such

a beautiful natural light through here, it's so open.

- This is definitely way better

than the last house we looked at.

- I told you I saved the best for last.

- Yeah.

- He thought I was done.

- No, this is fantastic.

And how much does it cost?

- He put it on the market for 3.4.

I think that we could get it down.

Maybe 3.2 million?

- Okay, okay.

It's a little much, but.

- I mean, once you see the outdoors,

once you see everything,

I think you'll see where the value came in.

They put a lot of TLC into this place.

- Oh, that's nice back there.

- Isn't it cute?

- Oh yeah.

- I love it personally.

It's just like your own little favorite.

- Oh yes.

And it looks like pretty private.

- Right.

- You know, the neighbors can't really see in.

- I'm serious.

I tried to buy this home nine months ago.

Like if my partner and I hadn't broken up,

I wouldn't be showing you this home.

I'd be living in it.

- What happened with your partner,

if you don't mind my asking?

- Well, being a high powered small business owner

- He was not exactly the hottest thing to some types of guys.

- Oh.

- He was one of those.

- Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.

- Insecure, you know.

- What, but you're a very attractive woman.

- Thank you, I appreciate that.

He didn't really seem to think so.

In fact, he typically reminded me,

always the opposite, you know?

Are you gonna eat that?

Sorry, I'm ranting, I'm ranting.

Anyway, so this house, like I said, it's amazing.

If a realtor wants to buy a home,

for her to buy that home.

- It's like when you go to a Chinese restaurant

and there's Chinese people in there eating.

- Right, exactly.

- You know it's a good restaurant.

- Exactly, like when the little tacos stand

and you're the only gringa there,

you know you're in the right spot.

- So that's what you're saying about this house.

- Exactly, it's gonna be gone soon.

They took it off the market right after my little breakup thing because they said that

they wanted to do some more renovations to it.

So that's whenever the new appliances came in in the ceramic tile.

That's awesome.

Then, yeah, it's back out now.

Like, I'm serious.

If I hadn't just completely fucked my finances up with this stupid man, I would be in this

home.

Stupid man.

Stupid man.

Well, maybe you can put me in the home, I guess.

But yeah.

I would love to put you in this home.

It is really pretty impressive.

I mean, I just can't stress enough how amazing it is.

Like, you bring a girl back to this place,

you're gonna be filling this place

with the kids pretty fucking soon.

And the elementary school next door

is one of the best in the nation.

- It is? - It is.

- That one we walked by on the way here?

- Mm-hmm.

- Wow, I didn't know that.

- I'm just saying, just saying.

I mean, I know you're a cute, young professional now,

but this could be a forever home.

- You're putting on a very strong argument,

convincing case here.

- I true. - I love it.

I love it.

- I'm glad that you like it.

No, it really is so fantastic.

If that-- - Does it come furnished?

Oh, what's that thing?

- Oh, it's the Libran Scales.

Yeah, fuck.

Sorry, my ex was an October baby and um...

Libra?

Yeah and he...

I am really sorry, it's just he called me last night and it's just been this whole disaster

like...

I'm sorry, it's...

I mean look you are like a really smart, successful real estate agent and like

a beautiful person inside and outside so from what I can tell why would he want

to break up with you? It's so embarrassing he literally called me last

night to say how he had fucked someone new and how much better in bed she was

than me. He literally called me right after getting his dick sucked by some

new girl. What? Right? And was just like, "Oh, Lena, you know, this girl gives me a

head like you never did." Uh, told me that he had never had sex with me without

thinking about another woman that I would never find a man that I could keep

because of what a terrible lay I was. No. I don't believe he was just saying that

there's no way that's actual he was just saying that because he was bitter. I mean

probably I don't know it's just like at first I thought that and I was just like

you know, oh fuck him, and I hung up the phone, and I just,

I'm really sorry, I just didn't sleep very well last night.

I haven't really been thinking about anything other than

that I'm probably never gonna find somebody

because they look at me and they're intimidated

because I have my own business and I'm pretty,

but I couldn't even keep them if I wanted to

'cause apparently I'm a terrible lay.

- It's, it's just completely impossible.

There's no way. He's just talking. He's just bitter. I don't know what to say.

No, I'm sorry. This is so unprofessional. I know I sound like a crazy...

No, it's totally fine. I want to talk about this. This is interesting to me.

Honestly, I know what I need to do. The only way, as my Southern mama would tell me, the only way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

(laughing)

I'll find some, honestly,

I'm so in my head about this now.

I just need to find somebody and be like,

"Hey, we'll never see each other again.

"Can you please give me an honest reveal?"

I know girls always wanna be lied to,

but just like, "Hey."

- An honest sexual reveal?

- On a scale of one to 10, how terrible of a lay am I?

- Wow. - As being runway screaming,

one being like, you know, cool.

(laughing)

- My mind is, I mean.

(laughing)

- I mean, at this point I feel like

that's all I'm gonna be able to do.

Like, all I'll be able to think about until I do it.

- So you need a guy to just give you an honest review.

- Right, like--

- Do you have like a male friend that you could do it with?

- I mean, I haven't, most of my friends are men,

but they're friends, like I can't see them like that.

- Oh, what about like a coworker?

- Oh, fuck no.

I don't shit where I eat.

No, no, big no for me.

And I don't wanna meet people.

It's been so long since I've been single.

We were together five years.

Like everything's on dating apps now.

- Oh yeah, yeah.

- I'm not trying to get a serial killer in my house, no.

- What if you hired like a male prostitute

to like an escort?

- Women don't pay for sex, come on.

Actually, you know, I do have pull with this homeowner.

He just left the house unlocked.

He's gone for the weekend actually.

I know where the key is.

You've been really sweet today.

Like, just as a preface, I'm gonna help you get this house, no matter what you say.

What?

Okay.

Um, would you maybe want to be my beta tester?

I...

Me?

I know that that's so inappropriate to ask, and please correct me.

I know if I was a dude, you'd be running out of your screaming, but I just need, um, I

just need to get this out of my head.

I just need an answer.

Like you're going to get the house, even if you raided me, like a runaway screaming.

This is the worst blow job I've ever had.

I just need to know.

You want me to rate you?

Yeah.

You want to have sex with me.

Pretty please.

I'm here now the owner is gone for the weekend. He left me the place

I mean, I don't want to be

- oh, oh you are so hot. Of course. I'll do this for you

Yeah, I mean I'm taking a back but Wow

- Wow.

- Oh my God, I'm so happy.

You're such a nice guy.

I just need to know, I don't want any bullshit.

Nothing, like you don't have to be nice or anything.

- I'll be honest, I'll give you the full honest review.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- God, you really are like the best client ever.

I've had an Ohio.

What a nice guy.

God.

I'm gonna blame the sleep deprivation.

This day is not taking the turn that I thought it was going to.

You're just so nice.

Yeah, oh, yes, do that.

Oh, look at your face.

I mean, I am enraptured, enthralled.

Hasn't been a minute for you.

- Maybe like three minutes.

Those are so perfect.

- I'm gonna be extra nice.

I mean, obviously if I get a terrible head,

you might not even buy the house from me.

I'm a little bit.

- Oh my God.

Hey honey.

- Please.

This is the one since I've been touched.

You can smack it for real.

I like it.

Really? Like hard?

Mm-hmm.

My ex would always freak out when I asked him to hit me in bed.

Nice.

What a pussy.

Oh my God.

Why?

They're so nice.

They're so nice.

- Those are so perfect.

- Thank you.

You're already hard for me.

- Let's get in there.

- I love it.

It felt like it just like sucks.

I love it.

I'm just in my head about it now.

Sounds like you just have a jerk ex-boy.

But I'll be honest with you.

You better be.

Don't butter me up.

Oh.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

You're already --

I mean you've got the perfect hand stroke, you know what to do?

That's a great technique.

You're touching the balls.

Oh yeah.

You know exactly what to do this guy's more.

I'm just saying.

No it feels amazing.

(sighs)

- Fuck, your gut is nice actually.

Maybe it was my ex that was terrible, but I don't know.

- Probably.

Yes.

Yes.

(gagging)

Honestly, this is exactly what I needed today.

I'm so glad that I was showing you of all people I have today.

God.

My job's outstanding.

Your hand job is great.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I'm not jerking it too hard or too soft.

It's perfect.

[SOUND OF A BLEATING]

You're going to make me blush.

Mm-hmm.

(crunching)

- I think we're officially in the realm of the absurd.

- Yes.

- I guess nothing's worth flushing over at the moment.

- No.

- God damn, you're so hard.

- I know.

Shit.

(crying)

Yes.

Yes.

Oh my God.

- Wow.

- Let me take these off.

- Mm-hmm.

- God, those are so nice.

- I'm gonna wrap them around your cocks, Max.

- Oh my God.

- Show me.

- Yes, ma'am.

- I'm gonna dump them in here.

- Yes, ma'am.

I gotta take that off.

Oh, wow.

- You're so cute.

- That ass isn't crying.

(lips smacking)

- Thanks, I fucking needed that.

- Can I see that pussy though?

Maybe you can just slide that one a little bit.

- Hmm.

Please.

- Yes.

Yes.

Oh my God.

Yes.

- I don't know, I've always been so conscious of all my

gifts I see, I'm glad you like.

- It's gorgeous, it's perfect.

Look at that, it's perfect.

- Oh my God.

My glasses have a more deal hat on my way.

- Yes.

- It's been a month since I've had sex in the next day.

Oh my God, you're so good at that.

That's just your fingers.

- Mm-hmm.

Wait till you have my dick.

- That's exactly what I was thinking.

(crying)

Fuck.

God, this is getting me so hot in my drink.

(breathing heavily)

- Oh, baby, God.

- I can't take it, I'm gonna need to taste it.

- Oh my God.

Your fingers are amazing, you saw you made me.

Oh my God.

Oh, that's fucking nice.

Yes, yes, yes.

You look good.

Oh, good.

You look good.

You look good.

You're just gonna use it at the same time, please.

Please.

Please.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Why? Oh, that's so good.

Oh my god

Yes, yes

Oh my god

Yes

You're so good

Oh my god

(groaning)

[moaning]

[whimpering]

[moaning]

[whimpering]

[whimpering]

[moaning]

[whimpering]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[moaning]

[breathing]

[breathing]

[whimpering]

Oh

You're so good at that. I'm not gonna be able to eat that much.

Oh my god.

God damn it.

You didn't get me.

I'm so sorry.

Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop.

But I can get to it.

I'm gonna come all the way around.

- Mm-hmm.

- I can't just say that.

(crying)

Fine, fine.

(crying)

Oh!

Good.

Oh!

Oh shit.

Oh my God.

God, I love you, I'm just gonna like, I don't know ever.

(laughing)

- You came out of my face.

(laughing)

You get wet, I don't like it a lot.

- No, I mean, when someone's doing something like that,

it's so good.

- Are you a fucking hoe?

Please, please put your tongue.

Yes.

I need it.

Oh, yes.

Oh my God, you did feel so good.

I love it.

I love it.

Yes.

(mumbling)

(clicking)

(whimpering)

(gasping)

(crying)

- One, two, three. - Yes. (crying)

Oh God, yeah.

Yeah.

I wish I could have been some of these.

Yes.

Please.

Yeah.

Don't you.

[MUMBLING]

[MUMBLING]

[MUMBLING]

God damn you, you're so bad.

Oh, yeah.

Oh

- Yeah, I'm just like, I'm right in front of there.

(gasping)

- Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

- Oh my gosh.

- You.

- Why did you make me go that fast?

Oh my God.

- Oh my God.

(chuckling)

Oh man.

Oh man.

- It's all right.

- Oh, you're so good.

Oh my.

- Yes.

- Yes.

Yes.

Oh my God.

Yes, yes, yes.

(chuckling)

- Oh yeah.

That's because it's fun.

It's a sweet spot.

Right there, right there.

Yeah.

Oh.

God, you sure keep so good.

Yes.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh my God, it feels good.

You don't look that good.

Oh my God, yeah.

Oh my God.

You're so hard.

Yeah.

Well, gee.

Oh.

Me, you're here.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh

- I'm gonna go get you.

- Yes.

- Can I have a hug?

- Yes.

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Yes, I thought.

Just like that.

Just like that, it's okay.

Oh yeah.

(grunting)

- Flap, flap, flap, flap.

(grunting)

- Oh my god.

Oh wow.

- Oh my god.

Oh my god.

(grunting)

- That's perfectly perfect.

You just use that to use it like that.

- So good, it feels so sick.

Oh my God, oh my God.

What?

Oh my, oh my God.

Oh my god, you're so amazing.

(gasping)

Fuck.

Oh boy.

(laughing)

Oh my, ah, shit.

Oh my, oh my god, I need, oh my god.

You, oh my god, you're so amazing.

Fuck, oh my god, you're so amazing.

Oh my...

Oh my...

(breathing heavily)

Oh...

Oh...

(breathing heavily)

(crying)

(breathing heavily)

Yes...

Oh my...

Oh my...

Oh my...

(breathing heavily)

Oh my...

Oh shit! Oh my god!

Shit!

I can feel so good.

One more minute, you better give me more than that.

I'm not done with here.

I'm not fucking done.

(heavy breathing)

Oh yeah.

- Why?

Oh shit.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

(groaning)

- All right, should we do some doggy style?

- Then we are.

- All right.

(mumbling)

Oh my god, I'm a little princess. Oh my god, I can't even tell you what you're going to use. Oh, baby. Oh, she's gone. She's gone.

(crying)

He has bleeds in my house.

Oh, me.

God, he's so cute.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, me.

- Fuck, oh.

- Oh, me, please.

Oh, baby.

Oh, baby.

(groaning)

- It's too expensive.

- Oh my god.

It's just, but that's what I need.

That's what I need.

Oh my god.

- Yeah.

I love it.

- That's good.

- Oh my God.

- I am just fucking perfect in this hand.

Look at that.

- Oh my head, I got it.

Look at that.

I'm a fucking mother.

Yes.

Oh my God.

I can't use it.

I can't handle it.

(mumbling)

- Give me all that hair, give me all that hair.

Yes.

- Take it, take it.

- Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh no.

- Oh my god.

- Oh.

(mumbling)

Oh shit.

Oh, I did it.

(gasping)

- Oh, so it was so clean.

- Yeah, no, you move on me, move on me.

Oh, you got a great doggy game.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

(grunting)

- Oh shit.

Yes, yes, yes.

(grunting)

- Oh my God.

(grunting)

- Oh shit.

- Yes.

(groaning)

- Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Are you gonna go?

- Yeah.

- I'm so, so sad.

Oh fuck.

God damn it.

(screaming)

(gasping)

- Oh shit.

God.

- Should I flip you over?

- Please.

Please, please.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my God.

Oh that feels so good.

You're the fuck...

...of me.

Oh shit.

I should be...

...of my...

...he's...

...of my...

...he's a spiral.

Didn't I make that?

Yeah.

- It's not gonna be good.

- Yeah, it's right there.

Stay right like that.

- Oh, I--

- Stay like that.

- Oh, I was just fucking you like that.

I feel so good.

So good.

- Keep talking.

- Oh, I have to go somewhere.

I do that.

I feel so--

Oh, God damn it.

Oh, fuck.

I need to get back.

I gotta keep--

Yeah.

- Keep talking about that, cop.

Where do you want to live?

- Go ahead.

- Deep in your pussy.

- Mm, that's amazing.

- Mm.

- Come on.

- Yeah.

(breathing heavily)

- Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

You gonna give me that cup?

- Oh, yeah, I will.

- You're gonna give me all that I want.

I'm sorry.

Fuck me.

He's probably making me grieve.

Oh, he is just like that.

Oh my god.

Yes.

Fuck, yes.

How am I pissing with that?

Fuck.

(clapping)

baby, oh my god

fuck

fuck, I'm gonna come again

oh

wait

oh

fuck

oh my god

(laughing)

(laughing)

Oh my God.

My.

(laughing)

Oh my.

That's amazing.

Oh my God.

(breathing heavily)

(breathing heavily)

♪ He really goes on ♪

(breathing heavily)

- That's it, pull up on that little bush for a second.

Yeah, look at that.

It's so cold.

- Oh my God.

You got me spoiled today.

(laughs)

She does amazing.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh shit.

He's like a seed.

He's like a seed for you.

I'm like a seed.

I'm like a seed.

He's like a seed for you.

Oh, but he's just...

He's just...

He's just...

He's really...

(clapping)

- It's so good.

(clapping)

- It's so fucking great.

(clapping)

- You have to do it.

(clapping)

(clapping)

- Oh.

Shit.

Oh.

Oh.

Leave.

- Yeah.

- Leave.

- Oh man.

- You know what we haven't done yet?

I wanna put my dick between your tits for a little while.

Let's do that.

It's so nice, it maybe comes so hard.

Yes.

Two hands and one mouth, every inch of your cat covered in worship.

Yes.

(sniffing)

Oh yeah, with that hair on his head.

There's a lot of hair.

- So does hair.

- You're gorgeous, yes.

Yes.

(kissing)

- Oh, let's put it back between those tits.

Yes.

- I thought you never asked.

- Oh, yes.

- Yes.

- That's fucking incredible.

- Good.

I'm massaging your cock with my tits.

I'm developing my making it disappear.

Oh, that's so good right there.

Yes.

Yes.

Your nipples are so gorgeous.

Oh, I think your cock is so gorgeous.

Yes.

(chuckles)

- Oh yeah.

- Nice and slack.

- Yes.

Oh yeah.

- Yes, yes, yes.

- Oh yeah.

- I feel like my head is just like that.

(chuckles)

Oh my goodness, I get when you fuck me back, it's so hard.

You want me to?

Mm-hmm.

[SIGHING]

Yes.

[SIGHING]

Oh, please.

Now, sigh it, sigh it, please, sigh it.

Ah, yes.

Yes.

Just like that.

[SIGHING]

(sniffing)

You're so good.

Yes.

(water splashing)

Oh my God.

Oh.

Oh, let me come on those stairs.

- Come on, please.

Oh my God, I love that.

- Oh my God.

(groaning)

- Yes.

Oh man.

(laughing)

Yes.

- Let me add a little bit.

Let's add that to the nipple.

- Like a fine painting.

- Beautiful fresco.

- Oh shit.

- Well, thank you for this.

I was not expecting my work day to end quite like this.

- Well, my review is A plus plus 1,000% times infinity.

I think your ex-boyfriend must have been thinking

about someone else 'cause you are--

- I was just dating an asshole, okay.

- Your head game's on point, your doggy, your cowgirl.

I mean, everything's amazing.

- Well, thank you for the thorough review.

I appreciate it.

- All right.

- It's a get showered in the master

and I'll show you more about the heated bathroom floor.

- Yes, I'm gonna buy this house, fuck it.

- You better.

- I'm in.

(dramatic music)

[SOUND]

You