Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

I don't know if we're going to make it, Professor.

Uh, I know I'm late. Totally, know I'm late.

But I got a great excuse. My head, may or not have started a forest fire.

Yes. Can you believe that?

Anybody?

Anybody?

Ronald?

No one is here.

Wow! I can't believe they forgot about our meeting.

I mean, who would ever do that?

Something's obviously wrong. Someone is always here.

Try their comm-links.

- (BEEPS) - Mmm, they're all offline.

I mean, that's odd, right? If we're talking about odd.

We need to find one of them. Any of them. Fast.

But, where would we start?

How about the Daily Planet?

Why would we go there?

Oh, Ronald.

Clark Kent is Superman?

What? My brain is on fire. Literally on fire.

- (KNOCKING) - (GASPS)

Uh...

Hello?

Hey, Clark.

Wow. Hi. How can I help you?

Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

I came in for a League meeting.

Early, I might add. And no one was there.

You know, I think it's kind of rude

not to be at a meeting when someone is there,

with their... With their head lit.

I'm sorry, "League"?

Yeah, the Justice League.

Big group of superheroes. Me, Wonder Woman, Batman, you.

(SNICKERS) Me? And who am I supposed to be?

Superman. Dude?

(WHISPERS) What's wrong with you?

Superman? (CHUCKLES)

I think maybe those flames on your head

are burning a little too hot. (CHUCKLES)

I'm not Superman. I'm just mild-mannered reporter, Clark Kent.

Now I know something is wrong.

- You think? - Pardon?

Oh, nothing. You know.

I'm just talking to a disembodied professor that lives in my head.

Now listen to me. Focus.

You are Superman.

I wish. If I looked remotely like Superman,

Lois, might give me the time of day.

Hi, Lois.

See?

Now, listen. You're the one and true, red and blue, Superman!

And I can prove it to you.

(SCREAMS)

What? Are you crazy?

That was a nice shirt.

Well, you should have had your costume underneath your clothes.

How would I even use the bathroom?

Seeing is believing, Ronald.

- Show him. - Uh, that is a great idea.

Oh, that's cute.

What's this supposed to prove?

I know what I look like. I...

I don't know, I don't see it, but...

(GASPS)

Clark. Superman.

Clark.

Superman.

Just because I bare a passing resemblance to Superman,

doesn't mean I am the actual Man of Steel.

I mean... He's super strong and flies.

That's right. He flies. Perfect!

Whoa.

- Now I'm gonna drop you. - (GASPS)

- Enjoy your flight. - (SCREAMING)

Fly. (SNICKERS)

Go on. Flap your arms. Come on, fly.

You sure about this, Ronald?

100%.

(THUDDING)

Okay, yeah, maybe 50%.

(GROANS)

Huh?

I'm alive!

- I'm alive? - (CHUCKLES) See?

Only Superman could've survived a fall like that.

And thank goodness, 'cause that would've been really awkward.

Superman.

If you're right then why don't I remember anything?

Hmm, yeah.

You know, I was thinking about that.

The most likely scenario is...

I got nothing.

Maybe if we found some other Leaguers,

we could start to figure this out.

Great idea, Prof.

Bruce Wayne, billionaire. You are?

Not interested.

Unless, of course, they don't have any idea.

Why are we here?

Because you are the Justice League.

He's Superman. You're Batman.

And she is Wonder Woman.

- I'm calling my lawyer. - (CELL PHONE BEEPS)

- I'm calling a cab. - Wait, wait, wait, heroes of super-ness.

I'm totally serious.

Hold on. He's right.

Watch this.

Don't worry, I'm gonna be fine!

(SPLASHES)

See? Not a scratch.

Lady and gentlemen, that is some legit proof right there.

Maybe if you...

You know.

Right! Oh, Prof, you are on point today with your ideas.

Okay, maybe this will help.

(KNUCKLES CRACKING)

Well?

This costume is a bit, uh, snug. (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) Okay.

You've crossed a line buddy.

A cape? Completely impractical.

(TUTTING) Hold it! Hold it! That is not how Batman sounds.

You gotta get in your lower register.

(RASPING) I am Batman.

Like this...

(NORMALLY) I am Batman.

Close. Close.

(RASPING) I am Batman.

(RASPING) I am Batman.

(RASPING) Even Lower.

(GROWLING) I am Batman.

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's...

- Better. - Not really.

Breaking news...

The police are moving into the Metropolis jewelry exchange.

It's under attack by an army of stone monsters.

(SIRENS WAILING)

Sources tell us they are under the control of a sorcerer

by the name of Felix Faust.

(SNICKERS) This thing is amazing.

How does it even work?

Oh.

- (WHIRRING) - Ah.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, nice. Uh, you got tuna like I told you, right?

Put the jewels, money, and, uh...

Sandwiches down and place your hands in the air!

Open fire!

(SHOUTS)

FIRESTORM: Hey.

Excuse me, buddy. I know I'm supposed to stop you from destroying this city.

But, I just gotta know.

What is up, with that muumuu?

These are the finest Tibetan robes in all the land and...

- (HORN HONKING) - (TIRES SCREECHING)

The Justice League?

You know it, muumuu!

I took your memories.

Never mind. Get them!

Get them!

Uh, not you, sandwich golem.

All right, Justice League, the heat is on!

Okay, I see what's going on here.

Superman, you usually blast them with your heat vision, fly around.

Or, you know, punch 'em.

Wonder Woman, magic lasso. Also punching.

Batman! Smoke grenades, batarangs, and again punching.

(EXPLOSION)

Here goes nothing.

Up, up, and away. (SHOUTS)

Yeah! Oh!

- (THUMPING) - (GASPS)

I'll stop them with my lasso of...

- Whoa! - (THUDS)

What is it that I do again?

Oh, this is very unfortunate.

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS) Uh-oh.

(GRUNTING)

Uh, excuse me, sir. Would you mind putting me...

Ow!

Come on, give me something to work with.

Ah.

- (GRUNTS) - (BLADE RICOCHETING)

Well, that didn't work.

(GASPS)

Don't worry, bat-cakes. You get a car.

And you get a car. And you get a car.

- And you get a... - No, no, no.

(GASPS)

Moped.

That was my sandwich golem.

Whoa, hey, I can't move.

What are you doing?

How is it you still have your memories?

The orb should have taken everyone's.

(GROANING)

Of course, he is of two minds.

I didn't account for that.

No matter. I'll add your memories to my collection.

(RUMBLING)

So, that's what took my memory.

By the storms of the sky and the sands of Set,

take these two minds and make them forget!

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

Hey... What happened?

- Who am I? - Who am I?

(YELPS) Where's your body?

Ah! Your hair's on fire.

- (SCREAMS) My hair is on fire! - (SCREAMS)

- Where is my body? - (BOTH SCREAMING)

Come on. Come on. Come on.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, not bad.

(LOUD THUMPING)

SUPERMAN: Wonder Woman!

Look out below!

SUPERMAN: Faust, give us the orb.

Orb? What orb?

All right, let's do this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, I can fly.

And I can throw cars!

BATMAN: Hey, you, over here.

I'm Batman.

Huh?

Aw! Not cool.

(GRUNTS)

(SNICKERS) Okay, you guys. You got me.

Psych!

Huh?

Not bad for our first outing.

Yeah, it was kind of fun.

I'd say we were lucky we didn't end up like him.

You don't have a reflection.

Are you a vampire?

Am I a vampire?

Time to get our memories back?

Uh, yeah.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)