All language subtitles for Happy Days S01E04 Guess Whos Coming to Visit.DVDRip.HI.cc.en

(Bill Haley and the Comets) ♪ One,
two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock

♪ Five, six, seven
o'clock, eight o'clock rock

♪ Nine, ten, eleven
o'clock, twelve o'clock rock

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ Put your glad
rags on, join me, hon

♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock
strikes two, three, and four

♪ If the band slows
down, we'll yell for more

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

(guitar solo)

♪ When the chimes
ring five, six, and seven

♪ We'll be right
in seventh heaven

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock, till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock strikes
twelve, we'll cool off then

♪ Start a-rockin'
'round the clock again

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

Hi.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That
engine sounds nice.

Hey, it don't sound nice.
Nat King Cole sounds nice.

This engine sounds fast.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Ralph, what did you do to
your car? It sounds really fast.

Fonzie fixed it up.

It can lay rubber in three
gears, not counting reverse.

My mother could outrun that heap
with her good leg tied behind her.

BOY: Oh, hey.

Oh, yeah?

That's telling him, Ralph.

Hey, Malph, why don't you put
your motor where your mouth is?

Hey, Skizzy's challenging
Ralph to a drag race.

- He is?
- Yeah, 7:00 tonight at the airport road.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well...
Yeah, I'd run you, Skiz,

but, um, well, dragging's
against the law.

[CLUCKING]

Well, since you put
it that way, you're on.

GIRL: Oh, yeah. FONZIE: Cool it.

Now, uh, Ralph ain't
ever raced before.

Yeah? Then he'll
learn the hard way.

Uh, maybe you're
gonna learn the hard way.

What's that mean?

That means that Ralph here
ain't gonna drive tonight. I am.

BOY: Oh, hey.
- Can you drive Ralph's car?

[CHANTING] Two bits,
four bits, six bits a dollar.

AN for Fonzie stand
and holler. Yeah!

Why does she do that?

You know, she's a cheerleader.
They do that all the time.

Man, she must be
murder on a date.

With you driving,

this has gotta be the greatest
drag race of the century.

Hey, hey, hey, half greatest.

That banana Skizzy is in it.

BOY: Come on. RALPH: Right.

- What'll it be, fellas?
- Nothing, we're just talking.

Ordering three nothings is
not going to thrill the boss.

"Ordering three nothings
is not gonna thrill the boss."

- Well, I'll have a lime rickey.
- That will thrill him.

RALPH: I really
dig Skizzy's girl.

In fact, I dig all
the Assorted Nuts.

- They're really a tough club.
- Yeah.

I used to date Chestnut.

RALPH: You kidding
me? FONZIE: Yeah.

She's the best nut.

How's it going?

You know, Skizzy's girl, she
reminds me of some movie star.

Yeah, what's her name?

- I don't know.
- I know her. Her name's Jean.

I'd go over there and make
some time, but she's with Skizzy.

FONZIE: Oh, yeah? Not anymore.
- Huh?

I mean, uh, now's your chance.

Oh, uh, I don't know.

While you're over there, ask her
what movie star she reminds me of.

RICHIE: Hi.
- Oh, hi, Robby.

Richie.

Are you going to the drag race?

Sure, I'm gonna ride
in the car with Skizzy.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, don't we have
the same lunch period?

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, you know, I noticed that you
eat a lot of tuna fish in the cafeteria.

Well, yeah, I heard it
makes your hair soft.

- Oh, really?
- Sure, it's the oil in the tuna. Feel.

Hey, Cunningham, what's
with your hands today?

At first you put them on my car,
and now I find them on my girl.

Well, we were just, uh... We
were just discussing tuna fish.

Oh, and you thought
her hair was a net.

That's it. That's it,
Annette. Annette Funicello.

You put mouse ears on her,
you couldn't tell them apart.

CHUCK: Hey, little
brother, that's 16 to 14.

- Hey, what's shaking?
- Potsie, you're looking pretty snazzy.

Well, I had to go to
the airport with my folks.

My father was winner of Tri-State
Oil's clean restroom award,

so they got a free
weekend in Atlantic City.

Potsie's staying over at our
house while his folks are gone.

Fine, Pots. Come
on, Richie, move.

Hey, go, Rich.

Hey, Joanie, you're
interrupting my lay-up.

- Sorry.
- Hey, wait.

Did I miss anything
good today at Arnold's?

- Yeah. You know Skizzy
Scharlach? POTSIE: Yeah.

He challenged Ralph Malph to a
drag race out at the airport road.

That's cool.

Fonzie is driving Ralph's car.

It'll be drag-racing
history. Let's be there.

RICHIE: Oh, come on.

Wow. That's 20-14. Game.

Look, I gotta get back
to dorm. See you, Potsie.

- See you later, Chuck.
- Oh, man, I couldn't hit a shot.

I mean, he really
clobbered me this time.

Why, 20-14 isn't so bad.

He spotted me 14
points before we started.

Oh.

Hey, Rich, uh, are you
sure it's cool that I stay here?

Why wouldn't it be?

I don't know, every time I
come over to your house,

I feel like your father's
always avoiding me.

He's always going to the
bathroom to wash his hands.

I never noticed that before.

All I know is, whenever
I leave your house,

your father always
has wrinkled fingers.

Look, I better be making
tracks. Gotta pack.

- See you later, alligator.
- All right.

I'm not gonna be a baton twirler,
I'm gonna be a basketball player.

Think fast.

- A guest is a guest.
- I don't consider Potsie a guest.

He's been over here so often,

sometimes I think we bought
this house with him already in it.

I think it's nice that Richard
has his friends stay over.

- Help me, dear.
- Oh, sure.

I'll bet he wears that same shirt
with the blue and white stripes.

Every time he comes to this
house, he wears the same shirt.

What are you doing, Daddy?

Well, your mother
wouldn't dance with me.

[KNOCKING]

Hey, Potsie, come on in.

- Uh, everything cool?
- Sure.

Hey, you know, the
drag race starts at 9:00.

- We should get there
by 8:30. RICHIE: Hi, Mom.

POTSIE: Oh, hi, Mrs. C.

- Hello, Potsie.
- Uh, where's Mr. C.?

He stopped by the
bathroom to wash his hands.

What'd I tell you?

- His hands were probably dirty.
- Yeah.

- Oh, hi, Mr. C.
- Potsie.

- Nice shirt.
- Oh, thanks.

Mmm, Mrs. C., this is the
best dinner I've ever had.

Thank you.

Gee, Potsie, you should
act this nice all the time.

Then people wouldn't
think you're such a nerd.

Joanie.

RICHIE: Thanks.
JOANIE: They wouldn't.

HOWARD: What have
you got planned for tonight?

Oh, just gonna do some homework.

They never give us
enough time for that stuff.

I had plenty of time
to do my homework.

Wasn't there a lot
less to learn back then?

Not that much less, Marion.
And I took time to play football.

You played football?

- Howard once got into a game.
- Hmm.

- I recovered a fumble.
- Wasn't it your own fumble, dear?

Marion.

I bet you were
some athlete, Mr. C.

Did you ever play
against Jim Thorpe?

Jim Thorpe played high
school football in 1906.

You didn't play
against him then, huh?

I gotta wash my hands.

Couldn't you speed it up, huh?
We're supposed to meet Ralph.

Hey, Potsie, maybe you'd know.
If you use the same footnote twice,

do you use op. Cit. Or ibid.?

- I don't use footnotes.
- Thanks a lot.

Hey, Rich. Look.

RICHIE: Huh?
- Look.

- I'll see you later.
- No, wait. Come help me. Don't go.

[WHISPERING] Pick
something up, will you?

Okay.

Ready? Open it.

[SCREAMING]

RICHIE: Ralph.

Ralph.

- It's only me, guys.
- What are you doing here?

Listen, Fonzie had a
rush job at the garage.

So the time's been
changed to midnight.

Oh, that's pretty late.

Oh, hey, I'm sorry if it interferes
with your beddie-bye time.

Don't worry, Ralph,
we'll be there.

Hey, you can catch a
ride with Burt. Okay?

Hey, I gotta go over and
tell Frankie. I'll see you.

POTSIE: Yeah.

These two-storey
houses are killing me.

Potsie, Why'd you
tell him we'd be there?

I don't think my parents are
gonna let us out of the house.

- Don't sweat it. We'll sneak out.
- Sneak out.

Sure. If we get caught, it's worth
any punishment they can dish out.

That's easy for you to say.
Your father's in Atlantic City.

Ha, that's right, baby.

Think fast.

[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

MAN [ON TV]: Tune in next
week for part two of our story,

when Eliot Ness meets
Frank Nitti face to face.

- I love The Untouchables.
- Oh, it's always exciting.

Tonight especially. You
know, for a minute there,

I thought I saw Eliot
Ness move his mouth.

- I guess we better hit the books, huh?
- Oh, yeah, right.

Come on, Rich, let's sneak out.

We'll be the only ones within
50 miles who won't be at the race.

Oh, I don't know.

Rich, Fonzie is
driving against Skizzy.

It's worth anything to see that.

- It's too risky.
- Oh, Rich.

- Jean will be there.
- So?

So you got a crush on her.

I do not.

Oh, Rich.

You know, it might
not be all that risky.

Now we're cooking
with gas. Come on.

Now what are you doing?

Putting on a little
aftershave lotion.

For a drag race?

I hope it's essence
of burning rubber.

- After you.
- Okay.

Howard? Howard.

HOWARD: What is it, Marion?

The boys aren't in their room.

HOWARD: I'll be out in a minute.

They aren't anywhere in the
house. Did you see them leave?

HOWARD: Not from here, Marion.

I bet I know where they went.

I bet they snuck out to the
drag races at airport road.

HOWARD: Did I hear
someone mention a drag race?

Howard, you have to run out and
find them before they get into trouble.

HOWARD: I can't run out
anywhere right now, Marion.

Ralph, where's Fonzie?

Don't worry. He's doing some
last-minute work on my rod.

Oh, oh, yeah.

[CAR APPROACHING]

[ENGINE REVVING]

Hey, I don't see Fonzie,
uh, maybe he's chicken.

- Don't count on it, Skiz.
- We'll see.

- Hi, Jean.
- Oh, hi, Richie.

- Listen, uh, good luck tonight.
- Thanks.

Is that you smelling like that?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I just put on
a little aftershave, you know?

It's nice. Skizzy always
smells like gasoline.

Oh, well, I believe a guy should
try and smell his best at all times.

Gasoline is Skizzy's best.

BOY: There's Fonzie.

[CHEERING]

RALPH: All right, Fonzie.

Starting to sweat,
huh, Skiz, huh? Fire.

Okay, you guys ready? Ready?

Hey, wait a minute.
He can't start the race.

- Why not?
- Because, dummy,

he's prejudiced. He'll cheat.

How is he gonna
cheat, you turkey?

Throw himself in front
of your fast, fast rod?

SKIZZY: Look,

I want another starter or I don't
drag. Get somebody who's honest.

- All right, who's here that's honest?
- I am.

ALL: Ah.

All right, Cunningham.
Cunningham.

JEAN: He's honest.
- Okay by me.

Oh, uh, listen, you see, uh...

I never started a drag
race before, you know? I...

It's all right.

All you gotta do is
say ready, set, go,

and drop that flag. Got it?

All right.

[ENGINES REVVING]

BOY: Okay.

[BREAKS SQUEAKING]

[ENGINES REVVING]

Ready,

set...

HOWARD: Richard.
- Dad.

Hey, wait a minute.
What is this?

Richard, I am very
disappointed in you.

RALPH: Cops. Cops.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

[SIREN WAILING]

Jean, are you all right?

Richie, come on, we
gotta... Oh, hi, Mr. C. See you.

Hi, officer. Uh, I'm Potsie
Weber of the school safety patrol.

I'm here on a special
undercover assignment.

Need any help?
You don't need any.

Officer, am I glad to see you.

These kids, they were
gonna have a drag race,

and I came out looking
for my... son, and...

Oh, I'll bet you're wondering
what I'm doing with this flag, huh?

Oh, no.

- Wait. Richard-No...
- I'm right with you, Dad.

HOWARD: You don't understand,
officer. I can explain this whole thing.

You see, I came out here
because my son was in a drag race.

Now, he wasn't driving,
he doesn't even have a car.

He had a car, but
he sold it for $25...

MAN: Ah, it's the
children's hour.

This isn't a nice way to
spend an evening, is it?

You could all be home,
tucked in your nice little beds,

but you had to go out and
have a nasty old drag race.

Now, in case you haven't heard lately,
drag racing is a no-no in this state.

[SERGEANT SIGHS]

You don't make
me very happy, kids.

You're a little old for this kind
of thing, aren't you, sonny?

I tried to explain to the
other officer. I'm his father.

Oh, I get it. The family
that plays together...

Sergeant, I can
explain what happened...

You'll get your
chance to explain later,

so just hold your horses.

- Dad...
- We'll talk when we get home.

Boy, will we talk.

Oh, Fonzie.

I'm ashamed of you.

I never expected to see
you in here for dragging,

especially against Skizzy.

Now, don't tell me
you lost your cool.

Hey, Skizzy
insulted a friend here.

I mean, I just thought
it was my duty to drive.

Well, I guess chivalry
ain't what it used to be.

All right, now look, I'm
gonna call all your parents

so they can come and get you.

Of course, that doesn't
apply to those of you

who get arrested
on the family plan.

- Uh, sir.
- Yeah?

- I'm with him.
- Who?

- Me.
- Oh.

Don't tell me, you're starting
your own teenage gang.

His parents are out of town.

Yeah, my father won
a trip to Atlantic City

for having the
cleanest restrooms.

How nice. Okay,
that's it. Dragnet's over.

The Dagwood of crime, come on.

You bring your gang
and come with me.

I can't wait to hear your story.

All right, everybody in the waiting
room until somebody picks you up.

I'm sorry you got
into this, Mr. C.

Mr. C., would it make you feel any
better if I told you it was my fault?

I mean, I'm the one who
talked Rich into sneaking out.

It doesn't make
any difference, huh?

I think I'll go wash my hands.

Well, how'd it go, dear?

It went fine, Marion.
We'll discuss it later.

All right.

Isn't it way past
your bedtime, Joanie?

It's past everybody's bedtime.
Did you punish Richie?

Yes, I punished him.
Now go to bed, huh?

- What did you do to him?
- I gave him what he deserved.

Now will you go to bed?

Couldn't you give me a few
details? I've been waiting a long time.

No details.

Now, if you don't go to bed
by the time I count to three...

- Just a hint?
- No hint.

- Now, one, two, three.
- Good night.

How did you punish him, Howard?

Well, I'm the father, Marion,
and I used cool, fatherly logic,

and gave him a just punishment.

Grounded for life?

I mean, what is that supposed
to mean, grounded for life?

It means your dad's pretty mad.

Oh, I've never seen
him this upset before.

Grounded for life.

Don't take it too hard. It'll probably
blow over by the time you're 30.

[KNOCKING]

Come in.

Howard.

Howard?

Your father has
something to tell you.

Howard.

I've, uh, decided that you're
just grounded for four...

Two weeks.

Two weeks.

It'll go fast.

Thanks, Mom.

There, you see, you
been paroled already.

- Yeah.
- Hey, you know, Rich,

your dad's really neat.

He could have really been
tough on you, but he kept his cool.

Do you think he could adopt
me before my father gets home?

["SPLISH SPLASH"
PLAYING ON JUKE BOX]

Come on, Fonz, you
can do it. Come on.

It ain't time yet.

I can beat you with both
hands tied behind my back.

Yeah? Now it's time.

Way to go, Fonz.

That settles it. I would
have won the drag race.

Oh, that settles nothing.

Oh, yeah? Come on,
goofball. Let's do it again.

- Oh, no. Oh, no.
- Fonzie is the winner.

[CLUCKING]

- Hey, Richie.
- Oh, hi.

Sorry about last night.

Oh, listen, it wasn't too bad.

I mean, I only got grounded
for a couple of weeks.

Hey, wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Listen, it's 5:30.

Everybody who's grounded
better beat it. Come on.

Well, I guess I'll see
you in biology tomorrow.

Yeah, maybe we'll
share a microscope.

Those drag races
just kill business.

["LITTLE WHITE CLOUD THAT
CRIED" PLAYING ON JUKE BOX]