Original subtitles

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪ ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪ ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Share them with me ♪ ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪ ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right, it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord ♪

♪ He is trampling out the vintage ♪

♪ Where the grapes of wrath are stored... ♪

The basis and backbone for our great country,

which our ancestors fought to uphold

against tyranny and injustice,

and which our forefathers

brought forth for us to cherish.

Our great republic means many things to many people

and is a shining example for all the world...

And that is the meaning of the word "freedom."

Very good, students.

It was very good. Malph,

you were a little loud,

but at least this time you were on-key.

Now, wasn't that good, Miss Wheaton?

Superb, Mr. Pinney.

Hey, Rich, do you know the odds are seven to one

that you and the song aren't going to finish

at the same time on the TV show?

Five to one. He's improving.

Well, that's really terrific, guys.

What do you think that does for my confidence?

So get in on some of the action.

Bet against yourself.

Could we have your attention, please?

Now, Miss Wheaton will give our itinerary

on our fun trip to Chicago.

Miss Wheaton.

Okay, choir.

The bus leaves here for Chicago

at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon.

We will arrive in the Windy City at 6:00.

We will stay overnight

at the Hotel Dortmunder.

We sing on TV at 9:30 the next morning

and return here Immediately thereafter.

Somehow she takes the fun out of it.

If you'll excuse me saying so, Mr. Pinney,

your beard is coming along very nicely.

Oh, really? You don't think I should shave it off?

Oh, no.

It makes you look just like Mitch Miller.

Oh, yeah.

Well, "Sing Along with Pinney."

I'm telling you guys, Pinney and Wheaton

have something going.

You're nuts, Malph.

Wait a minute... what makes you think so?

Last week, I went into Pinney's office...

he was blowing in her ear.

He tried to cover up by saying

he was demonstrating his perfect pitch.

Aw, you just have a suspicious mind.

My mind's not suspicious... just dirty.

Marion, he's not gonna have time to wear all that stuff.

Never mind.

Now, you'd better hurry.

You have 45 minutes before you get to your bus.

Now, I'm going down to pack your lunch.

Mom, I don't need a lunch.

They're gonna have a box lunch on the bus.

Those box lunches are always stale.

I'll just fix you a little tuna sandwich and some fruit.

I'm never going to get that closed.

Let me give it a try, huh?

Richard, I don't want to scare you, but...

you know, Chicago is a pretty rough town.

They got a lot of con men and crooks and sharpies there

who're just looking for some nice young fellow like you

who's got a little money on him.

Oh don't worry, Dad. We're gonna let Potsie

take care of our money.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

He's got his Dad's money belt.

Oh.

Well, look, I-I, I want you to have a good time.

I mean, don't be so careful that you don't have fun.

Don't worry, Dad. We won't.

But, on the other hand,

you gotta remember what you're there for.

I mean, sure you should have some fun,

but just remember that you're there for a purpose.

Do I make myself clear?

Sure. You want us to have fun

while we're being careful.

Is that what I said?

Well, that's about it.

Psst!

Cunningham. Come here.

Hey, Fonz.

Hey. I just came over here to wish you the best of luck

for your big trip to the city, you know.

Thanks. Listen, while you're there,

I want you to pick me up a memento.

I want you to go to this particular garage

on the North Side, huh?

Pick something up for me.

You want a part for your bike?

No, I want you to pick up some grease for my collection.

I didn't know you collected grease.

Hey, not just any grease, huh?

I got grease from as far away as Hawaii.

I got a terrific specimen from Scarsdale, New York.

But Chicago's not that far away.

Yeah, well, I'm not interested in distance this time.

See, I want you to pick me up my first "celebrity" grease.

Where?

At this particular garage on the North Side.

It's where they had the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.

Oh.

How will I know which one it is?

Hey, that's easy... Those holes in the wall

were not made by termites, you know.

And you're sure it's still there?

Hey, they don't rip down national shrines.

Fonz, are you putting me on?

No.

Oh, I didn't think you were.

Okay, here, get my grease in that, huh?

Sure.

All right, good luck.

All right, everybody!

Attention, please!

We'll need a bus monitor, Miss Wheaton.

Have you any suggestions?

How about Ralph Malph?

That's an excellent suggestion, Miss Wheaton.

He's the loudest.

Ralph!

You'll be in charge.

Miss Wheaton and I are going in the station wagon.

I'll keep everything under control.

Good.

Okay, everybody!

It's party time!

♪ 99 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 99 bottles of beer... ♪

Hey, Ralph, it's going to be a two-and-a-half-hour ride.

Oh. Right.

♪ 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 10,000 bottles of beer ♪

♪ If one of those bottles should happen to fall ♪

♪ 9,999 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 9,999 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 9,999 bottles of beer ♪

♪ If one of those bottles should happen to fall... ♪

♪ Diddle-diddle, diddle-diddle ♪

♪ Yeah, bah-bah-bah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, ooh, yeah, ooh ♪ ♪ Yeah-bah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, ooh, yeah, ooh ♪ ♪ Yeah-bah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, ooh, yeah, ooh ♪ ♪ Yeah-bah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, ooh, yeah, ooh ♪ ♪ Yeah-bah... ♪

we sang from Milwaukee all the way to Chicago

is no reason to make us stay in this room.

Yeah, we didn't hurt our singing throats.

Yeah, and we only got down

to 773 bottles of beer on the wall.

I get the single!

I can't sleep with Richie.

We're not married.

There's only one way to solve this: fingers.

Okay. All right.

Odd man wins, okay? Okay.

Ready?

One, two, three!

All right! I win!

Excuse me, please.

If you snore, you're gonna get a pillow down your throat.

Yeah, well, you better stay on your own side of the bed.

What's that supposed to mean?

I don't know; that's what my mom tells my dad.

Pretty nice having your own hotel room.

Pinney and his regulations.

Potsie, you're stealing that.

It's not stealing.

They want you to take it.

It's advertising... see?

"Dortmunder Hotel, Chicago."

That's what I like about you, Potsie.

When you're dishonest, you're very sincere about it.

Thank you, Ralphie.

We've gotta get outta here.

We can't stay in this room.

Look, the Windy City is waiting for us.

Look what else I found.

Baby soaps.

Are you gonna steal those, too?

You can't take everything, Pots.

They want you to.

You can't wash with them, they're too small.

Potsie, will you help us

think of a way to get out of here?

Look, why fight it, guys?

Let's just stay here, huh?

You've got a great sense of adventure, Potsie.

Well, I'm gonna write some postcards.

Where's the pen?

Somebody took the pen!

You just can't trust anybody these days.

Look, this bed has one of those

"Thousand Fingers" massage units.

Really? Yeah.

Oh, hey, I gotta try that, Rich. All right.

Here goes.

What a gyp!

It only feels like 800 fingers.

Hey, look at this great stuff we're missing.

What?

South State Street,

the home of red-hot burlesque.

The Gem, The Rialto, Lili St. Cyr

and her Naked Milk Bath.

I'm a big fan of naked milk.

Yeah.

Hey, hey, look at this.

"No cover, no minimum.

"The Blue Pelican, starring the sexy chanteuse

"with the come-hither figure, Miss Toni Le Fevre.

Also comic, J. Jackie Silver."

No kidding? J. Jackie Silver?

What so exciting about J. Jackie Silver?

He plays Tonto on The Lone Ranger.

That's Jay Silverheels.

Oh, yeah.

This is ridiculous!

Let's run for it!

Take it easy, Ralph.

Come on. We're never gonna get out of here.

Pinney's probably guarding the elevator.

What do you want to go on out for

when the beds have Thousand Finger massage?

This is better than a date with Sherry Renning.

Wait a minute!

Pinney will be guarding the elevator, right?

So who's watching the stairs?

Are you with me, boys?

I'm not sure.

My father says that Chicago

is a very rough town,

full of danger, sin and sleazy women.

All right!

Sounds great. Let's get dressed.

Hey, come on, Rich... You with us?

Sure. Who can resist sin and danger?

Not to mention sleazy women.

Right.

So I'm walking down Michigan Boulevard...

Michigan Boulevard... You know what that is?

That's 2,000 commuters from Skokie

looking for a place to park.

Certainly.

I'm walking down Michigan Boulevard

when this mendicant approaches me.

For you folks from Gary, a mendicant is a bum.

Yeah, well, so this bum walks up to me,

he says, "Can you lend me $12 for a cup of coffee?"

I said "$12 for a cup of coffee?"

He said, "Sure.

Room service is very expensive at the Palmer House."

Folks, pick out the ones you like

and I'll do 'em twice.

Anyway, you've been a beautiful audience

and I'd like to take you all home with me,

except they don't allow pets in my apartment.

So, why don't you stick around

for the next show when I'll be much funnier

and you'll be much drunker...

Or vice versa.

This is Jackie Silver saying goodnight and remember...

If you ever need a friend... buy a dog.

Wasn't he great?

You can take your Sergeant Bilko.

This guy has got it.

I hope it isn't catching.

Another ginger ale, fellas?

No, uh, I think I'll move on to some hard stuff.

Bring me a beer.

Are you 21?

Yeah, look, here's my I.D.

A Book-of-the-Month-Club card with age 23

written on it in pencil?

Sorry, no go.

But I am 23. Ask them.

Yeah, 23.

His I.Q.

What else, guys?

Oh, just the check.

All right, sir.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Okay, Rich, divvy it up.

How much do we owe you, a buck each?

Buck and a half?

Will you come on, Rich?

I'd like to get back before the television show tomorrow.

Th-Thirty-six bucks?!

All right, all right, let's not panic.

Miss. Miss. Miss.

There's got to be a mistake.

You must've given us the wrong check.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

That isn't your check.

This is your check.

Oh, that's better.

This still says $36.

Rich, I'm going to panic, okay?

They're all for $36.

Miss, doesn't the sign outside say "no cover, no minimum"?

That's right.

But there's an entertainment charge,

and you each had six ginger ales at one dollar per.

Six bucks for ginger ale?

Do you know how much ginger ale

you can buy at Arnold's for six bucks?

Arnold doesn't sell ginger ale, Potsie.

No wonder. Look how expensive it is.

All right, there's no sense arguing.

Potsie, get the money out of your belt.

I didn't bring the belt.

What?!

You said what a rough town it was.

I didn't think it was safe.

What a dummy!

Where did you leave the money belt?

In my suitcase back at the hotel.

Great.

Uh-oh.

I think I detect a 43 here.

What's a 43?

That's restaurant talk

for guys trying to get out of paying their checks.

Well, we're more like a 44.

That's guys that would pay

if their dumb friend hadn't left the money in the room.

No, honest, see we really do have the money.

It's just that we left it in the hotel room.

I really feel sorry for you guys.

You do?

Yeah, the last guy who tried this

ended up having his face rearranged by the boss.

W-Well... how about if one of us stays here

and the other two go and get the money?

Well... you look like pretty nice kids.

I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll stall the manager while two of you go.

Oh, great.

Quick thinking, Rich.

Yeah, we'll be right back.

Wait a minute, how come I'm the one who has to stay?

It was your idea. And you have a much more honest face than us.

No one would want to rearrange it.

Wait a minute. Let's do fingers.

Oh, sure, Rich. Okay.

One, two, three...

You win, Rich. Must be your lucky day.

♪ Boop, boop, boop, boop ♪

♪ Boop, boop, boop, boop ♪

♪ Boop, boop, boop, boop ♪

♪ Boo-doop-boop, boo-doop... boo-doo. ♪

Too bad we can't pay 'em off in stolen towels.

Got it... let's go bail Rich out.

Come on, what are you doing in there, huh?

I'm combing my hair. Stop rushing me.

Who's going to see you this time of night, Ralph?

You never can tell,

and I don't have any confidence unless my hair is neat.

Come on, come on.

We've got to get to bed.

Hi, Mr. Pinney.

We were just getting ready for bed.

In your clothes?

Well, we thought we'd save the trouble

of changing tomorrow, so we wouldn't be late.

Where's, uh... Cunningham?

He's brushing his teeth.

Where's Malph?

I'm helping him.

Cunningham, would you come out here for a minute, please?

What did he say?

Oh, uh, he said that, uh...

He said that he doesn't want to get into the draft

because he has to protect his voice for tomorrow.

That's what he said.

Well, I like your attitude, Cunningham.

Now, boys, I want you to get a good night's sleep.

Right, sir.

Right.

Good night, Mister... Got you, Cunningham.

Good night, Mr. Pinney.

Oh, boy, was that close.

Oh, uh, good night, Weber.

Good night.

He's gone, Ralph.

You can take your finger out of your mouth now, Malph.

So what are we gonna do, huh?

We're never going to get out of here.

Okay, let's just stay cool and think it out.

What would Fonzie do if he were here?

He'd punch Pinney out.

Okay, what would Marsha do?

I don't want to upset anybody,

but this concludes tonight's show

at the fabulous Blue Pelican.

And remember, don't drive too carefully,

the life you save could be my mother-in-law's.

Hey, kid.

Oh, hi, Mr. Silver.

Gee, I really enjoyed your act.

Well, flattery will get you nowhere.

If you want to make me a happy man, marry my wife.

Or better yet... pay your bill.

Pay you?

That's right. I own this place.

I got tired of hustling jobs, so I bought my own joint.

I lose a fortune, but I work steady.

Where's the money?

I don't suppose it would make any sense

suggesting that my father would mail you a check?

Oh, the "old mail the check scam," eh?

Oh, I could wash the dishes.

This is a nightclub, kid. We don't have dishes.

I'll wash the glasses.

We don't wash our glasses.

We have automatic glass washers.

Listen kid, your time is running out.

Look, Jackie, lay off the kid.

I think he's on the up-and-up.

You're right, miss.

I'm on the up-and-up.

I knew a guy who was on the up-and-up.

He was a one-way elevator operator.

And he paid his check.

Look, I have the money.

It's at the hotel... if you'll just let me go get it.

Jackie, I'm through for the night.

Why don't I go with him,

and I'll bring the money back with me tomorrow?

All right, all right, go ahead.

Oh, thanks.

You know, I thought you were

really going to rough me up

if I didn't have the money, but I guess I misjudged you.

No, you didn't.

Get the money.

Come on, kid.

Poor Rich, he's probably at the bottom

of the Chicago River, wearing concrete loafers.

We should never have left him.

I should have stayed and charmed them.

I would have put on the old Malph dimples.

What good are your pimples?

Dimples, Potsie!

Who is it?

It's me. It's Rich. Let me in.

Rich, how'd you get away?

Come on, Edith.

Hello, fellas.

Could I use the little girl's room?

Yeah, it's right in there.

Richie, you killer.

Here we are worrying about you

and you... you come home with her!

He came home with trouble.

If we get caught with her in our room,

we're gonna be in big trouble.

You gotta get her outta here, Rich.

Get her outta here?

Are you sick?

If Brigitte Bardot came in,

you'd probably play tiddlywinks with her.

Fellas, I just brought her here to pick up the money.

Hey, Rich, you better get her out of here

before we get caught.

I will, just as soon as we pay her.

I've got the money right here, Rich.

Hey, fellas, there's no towels.

Oh, I'll get you one.

Here you go.

Oh, uh, you gonna smoke?

Uh, no.

I thought you put those back.

I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

Hey, fellas, I gotta have my money.

I gotta get going.

Oh, uh, right here... uh, $36.

Give her a tip, Pots.

What do you mean, give her a tip?

Just... Just give her a tip.

Here's a tip.

Aha, caught you.

Disgraceful!

Your parents would be ashamed of you...

Not to mention the fact that you have darkened the name

of Jefferson High with your indecent behavior.

Who's the man with the mouth?

He's our choirmaster.

Well, Mr. Choirmaster-with- the-mind-in-the-gutter,

I don't like what you're insinuating.

Well, I certainly thought with you, with the money...

I know what you thought.

But what happened is these boys came into my club, they forgot their money,

so I came up here to pick it up.

Satisfied?

Yes, well, you're certainly off the hook,

but I still have these three delinquents,

and as of this moment... You are out of the choir.

Out of the choir?

You mean we're not going to get to go on television?

I already told everyone to watch me.

You left the hotel without authorization

and you went to some nightclub.

When we get back to Jefferson, you are to turn in your blazer

and you'll probably be out of school.

Expelled?!

My father will kill me!

There goes my car.

Turn in my blazer?

Hey, aren't you being a little hard on them?

A world without moral discipline

is a world of chaos.

Isn't this nice.

I'm 15 minutes late and already you've taken up

with this... this... Watch it, sister.

I've already been insulted once tonight.

Maybe it's my hairdo.

Barbara, you... Don't bother lying.

How could you do this to me?

After all those stolen moments in the storeroom.

The Malph was right again.

I've wasted the best recesses of my life on you.

Goodbye, you philanderer!

Tough luck, kiddo.

See you around, Red.

Uh... uh... look, fellas,

I know that this may seem a bit...

Sir, sir, you don't have to say anything. Oh.

I mean, we can forget about this, if you can.

Well, uh, boys, I think that that is an admirable attitude.

It's just a shame, though, that we'll probably have to go home

and explain to everybody why we weren't on television.

Yeah, and why we were kicked out of the choir.

I don't want to turn in my blazer.

Oh, didn't I tell you?

I've reconsidered.

You're back in!

We'll forget this whole evening.

Thanks.

♪ Sha, la-la! ♪

Richie comes through in a clutch!

All right!

I guess it pays hanging around with the Fonz.

Yeah, I guess it does.

Will you look at that.

It's 3:00 in the morning.

We've got to get up in four hours.

I'm really beat.

Hey, uh, I wonder if Mr. Pinney's gonna tell anybody

he saw a girl in our room.

I hope so.

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Rockin' all week with you ♪

♪ This day is ours, Happy Days! ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine, good-bye, rain ♪

♪ She's wearing my school ring on her chain ♪

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man ♪

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Won't you be mine? ♪

♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ This day is ours ♪

♪ Oh, please be mine ♪ ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine, Happy Days! ♪