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1
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:09,853
♪ One, two, three
o'clock, four o'clock rock
2
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:12,990
♪ Five, six, seven
o'clock, eight o'clock rock
3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,408
♪ Nine, ten, eleven
o'clock, twelve o'clock rock
4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,861
♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight
5
00:00:17,885 --> 00:00:20,630
♪ Put your glad
rags on, join me, hon
6
00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:23,000
♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one
7
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:25,568
♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight
8
00:00:25,592 --> 00:00:28,038
♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight
9
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:32,876
♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight
10
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,912
♪ When the clock
strikes two, three, and four
11
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:38,382
♪ If the band slows
down, we'll yell for more
12
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,884
♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight
13
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:43,553
♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight
14
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:48,958
♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight
15
00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:04,691
♪ When the chimes
ring five, six, and seven
16
00:01:04,715 --> 00:01:07,460
♪ We'll be right
in seventh heaven
17
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,880
♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight
18
00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:12,115
♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight
19
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:17,621
♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight
20
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,056
♪ When the clock strikes
twelve we'll cool off then
21
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,659
♪ Start a-rockin'
'round the clock again
22
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:25,194
♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight
23
00:01:25,218 --> 00:01:27,931
♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight
24
00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:32,558
♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight ♪
25
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:45,115
You're puttin' me on.
You went to a strip joint?
26
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,382
Would I lie?
27
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:47,717
You saw real strippers?!
28
00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:50,120
What do you think I saw
there? A marching band?
29
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:52,722
So there I was, sitting
at Eddie's Pink Palace,
30
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,190
just sipping a little brew
31
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,159
and waiting for
the Bubbles McCall
32
00:01:56,183 --> 00:01:58,661
to come out onstage
and take it all off.
33
00:01:58,685 --> 00:01:59,829
Whoa! Whoa!
34
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,920
Hey, uh, no cleats inside, huh?
35
00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:09,322
Then, all of a sudden,
36
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,825
the band starts
playing "Night Train,"
37
00:02:11,849 --> 00:02:15,395
and she comes out wearing
this real slinky cocktail dress,
38
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:17,864
spike heels,
and listen to this -
39
00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:20,600
long white gloves.
40
00:02:20,624 --> 00:02:23,153
And then she
takes it all off, right?
41
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:26,589
No, stupid. This
chick has class.
42
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,125
First, she does the dance.
43
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:29,392
What kind of dance?
44
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,828
Well, it was nothing you've seen
45
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:34,030
on Arthur Murray's Dance Party.
46
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:37,033
Anyway, she peels
off the gloves, right?
47
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:40,002
And then she reaches
around with one hand
48
00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:43,739
and unzips her dress real slow -
49
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:46,242
Telephone call for
Richie Cunningham.
50
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,812
Hey, Richie, phone.
It's your mother.
51
00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,246
Tell her I'll call back.
52
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:53,733
Look, I got Glutton's Delight
melting all over my hand.
53
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:57,187
I don't have time to be no
personal message service.
54
00:02:57,211 --> 00:03:01,991
So, anyway... Mom,
can I call you back?
55
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,928
Well, all right, but
could you talk fast?
56
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,763
I'm sitting there. She starts...
57
00:03:07,787 --> 00:03:12,986
Loaf of rye bread... and T.P.
58
00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:15,889
T.P.?
59
00:03:15,913 --> 00:03:19,759
Mom, you can say toilet
paper over the phone.
60
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,528
Listen, Mom, I gotta get going.
61
00:03:22,552 --> 00:03:26,666
Ralph Malph's telling
us about... biology.
62
00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:29,474
Right. I won't
forget, Mom. See ya.
63
00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,623
And then she ran
behind the curtain.
64
00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,027
Oh, wow! Too much!
65
00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:40,263
I had to lift four car bumpers
and take a cold shower.
66
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:42,248
Wish I was there.
67
00:03:42,272 --> 00:03:44,868
How'd you get
in? That's terrific!
68
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,269
Too much!
69
00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:48,838
Potsie, what happened?
What did Bubbles do?
70
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,539
You'd never believe it.
71
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,542
Sure, I would. Try me!
72
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,779
What wouldn't I
believe? What did he say?
73
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,897
Ralph Malph said you
gotta see it to believe it.
74
00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,815
What are you doing
tomorrow night?
75
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,219
We can't get in
there. You gotta be 18.
76
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:04,521
We just get fake IDs
and we're in like Flynn.
77
00:04:04,545 --> 00:04:06,656
Come on, where are
we gonna get two IDs?
78
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,226
Do we or do we not have
a friend named Fonzie?
79
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,261
Well, sure. Where are you going?
80
00:04:11,285 --> 00:04:12,862
To set it with Fonz.
81
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,064
Look, I'll be over
tonight before dinner.
82
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,133
We're never gonna pull it off.
83
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:20,070
Trust me. I'm worldly.
84
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:24,340
How can you be worldly if
you have to fake being 18?
85
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,176
You wanna be worldly?
86
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,101
You should work in that kitchen.
87
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,911
You wanna talk to me
about something, Richard?
88
00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:48,298
Oh, no. No, Dad.
I'm just sitting.
89
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:51,167
You look like you're
waiting for someone.
90
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:54,271
Oh, no. No, I'm not waiting.
91
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,672
OK.
92
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,324
Mom wants you
to open this for me.
93
00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:00,293
Oh, sure.
94
00:05:00,317 --> 00:05:02,312
Who you waiting for, Richie?
95
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,530
I'm not waiting.
96
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,215
He's just sitting.
97
00:05:06,239 --> 00:05:08,500
You wanna try my Hula-Hoop, Dad?
98
00:05:08,524 --> 00:05:10,603
Oh, Joanie, adults don't
play with Hula-Hoops.
99
00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:11,955
Aunt Bessie did.
100
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:15,291
Oh, yeah. She Hula-Hooped
right out the front door,
101
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,761
and nobody saw
her for four days.
102
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,596
Did you get it open, dear?
103
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,797
Not yet.
104
00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:23,065
I'll get it. I'll get it.
105
00:05:23,089 --> 00:05:24,756
I'll get it.
106
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:29,138
Hi, Mr. Cunningham.
107
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,140
Potsie.
108
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,741
Fonzie.
109
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:34,010
Oh, hey, what a surprise!
110
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:37,246
I didn't know you guys
were coming over tonight.
111
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,087
Upstairs.
112
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,420
His name is Pockets.
113
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,978
Quiet little guy.
114
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:50,477
Well...
115
00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:55,448
I guess we'll, uh,
go on upstairs now.
116
00:05:55,472 --> 00:05:56,716
Mmm.
117
00:05:56,740 --> 00:05:58,973
Yeah. See ya later.
118
00:06:01,044 --> 00:06:03,022
Now, what kind of a mother
119
00:06:03,046 --> 00:06:05,125
would name her child Pockets?
120
00:06:05,149 --> 00:06:07,059
Kangaroo?
121
00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:10,430
Marion, I can't
get this thing open.
122
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:13,921
Well, you must have
loosened it for me.
123
00:06:20,764 --> 00:06:22,675
All right, ready?
124
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,210
Oh, yeah.
125
00:06:24,234 --> 00:06:26,279
Oh, wow!
126
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,581
Where'd he get a coat like that?
127
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:31,584
It's a hand-me-down.
His brother gave it to him
128
00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:32,584
just before they
sent him to Sing Sing.
129
00:06:32,608 --> 00:06:35,777
Chair... Oh.
130
00:06:38,281 --> 00:06:40,126
Two sets of IDs, right?
131
00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,393
Yeah. Right.
132
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:42,996
Two sets of IDs. What is this?
133
00:06:43,020 --> 00:06:45,331
He wants you to see his forgery
134
00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:47,399
of Eisenhower's signature.
135
00:06:47,423 --> 00:06:49,535
Oh! That's very nice,
Pockets. Very nice.
136
00:06:49,559 --> 00:06:51,570
They think it's
very nice, Pockets.
137
00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:54,173
See, I told you Fonzie
would solve our problems.
138
00:06:54,197 --> 00:06:56,926
Are these things
gonna look real?
139
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,183
Yeah, will we get
our money's worth?
140
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,882
Hey, what's the matter?!
141
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,684
You hurt his feelings.
He's professional.
142
00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:08,221
Oh, listen, I-I'm sorry.
143
00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:09,889
Tell him I'm sorry.
144
00:07:09,913 --> 00:07:12,025
They say they're sorry, Pockets.
145
00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:13,459
Whew!
146
00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:17,163
All right. Now, he needs
to know your weight.
147
00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:18,964
145.
148
00:07:18,988 --> 00:07:23,853
145. Eyes... Blue.
149
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,704
Actually, they're kind of gray.
150
00:07:25,728 --> 00:07:27,791
I thought they were green.
151
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,842
Well, how 'bout if he just
writes down "tutti frutti"?
152
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,527
They're blue.
153
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:33,863
Thank you. Blue.
154
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:36,849
All right, your height? 5'10".
155
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,651
Oh, come on. I'm 5'9".
156
00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:41,254
So, I'm taller... You are not...
157
00:07:41,278 --> 00:07:43,556
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey!
158
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:45,858
5'10".
159
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,042
5'10".
160
00:07:47,066 --> 00:07:48,027
How old?
161
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,084
22.
162
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,485
I guess you better put 18.
163
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:57,525
18.
164
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:02,908
All right, this one's finished.
165
00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:04,544
Hey, it's me!
166
00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,679
Hey, the ink ain't dry yet.
167
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:07,947
Oh.
168
00:08:07,971 --> 00:08:10,717
All right, let's get to
work on the next one.
169
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,185
I thought you boys might
enjoy some milk and cookies.
170
00:08:13,209 --> 00:08:15,788
Oh, thanks, Mom, but,
uh, we're not very hungry,
171
00:08:15,812 --> 00:08:18,341
and besides, the cookies
might spoil my dinner.
172
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,376
Why, what is Pockets doing?
173
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,679
Oh, he's, uh, uh, trying
to get rid of the hiccups.
174
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:26,850
Yeah, yeah, he's got a
bad case of the hiccups.
175
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,184
Hiccups!
176
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:30,920
See?
177
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:33,672
Well, I'll just put
this over here.
178
00:08:33,696 --> 00:08:35,707
Dinner will be
in a little while.
179
00:08:35,731 --> 00:08:38,311
OK. Thanks for the cookies, Mom.
180
00:08:38,335 --> 00:08:39,845
Oh, that was close.
181
00:08:39,869 --> 00:08:41,580
All right, let's
get back to work.
182
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,803
Boo!
183
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:46,369
There. Did that cure
Pockets' hiccups?
184
00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:49,205
Yeah, Mrs. C. I'm
sure that got rid of them.
185
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:52,892
Well, good. That remedy
always worked for Richard.
186
00:08:52,916 --> 00:08:54,349
Thanks, Mom.
187
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:59,165
I'm sorry. She's
gone for good now.
188
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:01,867
What, are you leaving?!
189
00:09:01,891 --> 00:09:03,235
Well, that's it.
190
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:05,938
A lady that goes "Boo,"
milk and cookies...
191
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,391
I mean, the atmosphere
just ain't right.
192
00:09:08,415 --> 00:09:10,860
Well, I'm sorry, but
what about my ID Card?
193
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:14,413
Can't carry the world
on my shoulders.
194
00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:16,065
Sorry.
195
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:20,324
Oh, yeah, sure. Here you go.
196
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,506
See ya.
197
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:25,641
So long.
198
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:26,831
Bye.
199
00:09:31,170 --> 00:09:32,281
Don't worry, Rich.
200
00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,416
I'll try and figure
out something.
201
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,619
It wouldn't be the
same without you.
202
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,154
You mean you really
wouldn't go without me?
203
00:09:39,178 --> 00:09:42,313
I'd still go. It just
wouldn't be the same.
204
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,227
Ahchoo!
205
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,996
Oh, Howard.
206
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,966
Maybe you should cancel
that meeting with Fred Hingle.
207
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,352
Marion, for the business
that Fred Hingle gives me,
208
00:09:52,376 --> 00:09:55,321
I can suffer through a little
case of the sniffles. Ahchoo!
209
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:59,174
That is the loudest case
of sniffles I ever heard.
210
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,827
None for me, thanks. I gotta go.
211
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:03,829
Why is it this family
can't sit together
212
00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:06,131
for five minutes
after dinner and talk?
213
00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:08,167
I'd love to, Dad,
but I really gotta run.
214
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,620
You've been running ever
since you started college.
215
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,656
You leave the dorm long
enough to wolf down a free meal
216
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:15,625
or else get your mother
to do your laundry.
217
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,926
Dad, I gotta practice.
218
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:20,262
I'm changing my free throw
from underhand to overhand.
219
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:22,131
Looks better for the fans.
220
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:25,334
Oh, well, then you're
excused, Chuck.
221
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,643
I certainly wouldn't
wanna disappoint your fans.
222
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,876
Good night, Chuck.
Good night, Dad.
223
00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:36,312
Well, Richie, what's new, huh?
224
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,036
Could I be excused?
I gotta talk to Chuck.
225
00:10:43,610 --> 00:10:45,655
So, Joanie, what's new, huh?
226
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:49,292
Paula Pratt gets a quarter
more allowance than me.
227
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:53,228
Well, maybe her father's
a quarter richer than me.
228
00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:54,685
Oh, Daddy.
229
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,696
So what's new, Howard?
230
00:11:08,935 --> 00:11:10,579
Got it!
231
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,214
Ah, hey. Nice shot.
232
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:13,638
Yeah. Chuck?
233
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:18,454
I don't know whether to go
for the points or the applause.
234
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:19,855
Yeah.
235
00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:22,991
Uh, Chuck! I need
to ask you a favor.
236
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,594
Shoot.
237
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:28,197
Could you loan
me your draft card?
238
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,383
What do you want it for?
239
00:11:30,407 --> 00:11:33,036
Well... Goin' to a bar?
240
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,038
Oh, no, nothin' like that.
241
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:37,256
Strip joint?
242
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,058
Something like that.
243
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:42,261
I'd lend it to you... You would?
244
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,830
Except I already lent
it to Bobby Gazarri.
245
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:46,566
Hey, look, I gotta go.
246
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:48,033
Say-hey, Potsie.
247
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:49,268
Hey.
248
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,670
How'd it go? You get his ID?
249
00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:53,072
No, I struck out.
250
00:11:53,096 --> 00:11:56,075
I wouldn't worry
about it if I were you.
251
00:11:56,099 --> 00:11:57,276
Why not?
252
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,934
'Cause, uh, I hit a home run.
253
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,550
Oh, ho-ho! Where'd you get it?
254
00:12:04,574 --> 00:12:05,951
Never mind where.
255
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,854
The important thing
is, we're gonna be
256
00:12:07,878 --> 00:12:09,755
at Eddie's Pink
Palace tomorrow night
257
00:12:09,779 --> 00:12:11,908
to watch Bubbles
McCall take it all off!
258
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:15,878
"Joe Kil-vin-ski"?
259
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,613
It doesn't matter
what name's on it.
260
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:20,366
Oh, hey, this is terrific!
261
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:24,504
"Hair... red, weight...
135, eyes... blue,
262
00:12:24,528 --> 00:12:26,872
age... 25?"
263
00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,107
Yeah.
264
00:12:28,131 --> 00:12:30,776
Oh, Potsie, I can't pass for 25.
265
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,278
Sure you can.
266
00:12:32,302 --> 00:12:34,947
You wear a bow
tie and look serious.
267
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:38,384
They'll believe! See ya later.
268
00:12:38,408 --> 00:12:40,953
25?
269
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:43,106
25 what, dear?
270
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:47,343
Oh, 25... years. 25 years
271
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,513
that you and dad have
been happily married.
272
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:54,700
Your father and I have
only been married 21 years.
273
00:12:54,724 --> 00:12:58,042
But it's nice of you
to try to keep track.
274
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:18,090
Potsie, they're never
gonna believe I'm 25.
275
00:13:18,114 --> 00:13:21,527
I heard they beat up a guy
once who tried to sneak in.
276
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,029
All they'll do is
tear up your ID.
277
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:26,632
Joe Kilvinski will beat you up.
278
00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:29,068
Maybe we should
wait for a better night...
279
00:13:29,092 --> 00:13:30,536
Maybe New Year's Eve.
280
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,970
I was only kidding.
281
00:13:31,994 --> 00:13:35,062
Besides, too late... we're here.
282
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,318
And away we go!
283
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,838
Oh, hey, that was
easier than I thought.
284
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:51,540
We're in!
285
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,742
I hate to disappoint
you, but that's in.
286
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:54,877
We're still out.
287
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:59,670
You ain't 18, and
these are fake IDs.
288
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:03,519
Oh, this isn't gonna work.
289
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:06,055
Hey, boss, there's a phone
call for you in the office.
290
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:08,624
Should I take over for a minute?
291
00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:11,193
Yeah. Maury, watch it. Some
kids tried to give me fake IDs.
292
00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,184
Hey, don't worry, boss.
293
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,569
Welcome to Eddie's.
Enjoy the show.
294
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:23,055
You mean I can just go on in?
295
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,673
Sure.
296
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,876
Unless you're a
weirdo or something.
297
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:30,846
Oh, no! No, no, ask anybody.
298
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:36,185
Hey, Kilvinski... Joe,
you forgot your ID.
299
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,387
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
300
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,789
Hey, wait a minute!
301
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:41,958
Huh?!
302
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,893
Let me see this!
303
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,294
Oh, yeah.
304
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,412
You sure you're 18?
305
00:14:47,436 --> 00:14:50,682
Oh, s-sure. I've been
18 for a long time.
306
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,034
When were you born? Quick!
307
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:53,969
Uh, '38?
308
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:57,128
I guess that's pretty close.
309
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,444
Enjoy the show.
310
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,326
Now, that's what I call a woman.
311
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:19,183
Yeah. Whew!
312
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,889
Potsie, those girls
over there smiled at me.
313
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,524
Well, don't smile back.
314
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,759
Why not?
315
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:51,394
Because they're bee girls.
316
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,763
If you offer to buy 'em a drink,
317
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:57,054
they'll order champagne
cocktails at $5 a pop!
318
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:02,505
What'll ya have?
319
00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,873
Oh, uh, I'm not very thirsty.
320
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,443
I didn't ask if you was thirsty.
321
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,546
I asked, "What'll ya have?"
There's a two-drink minimum.
322
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,682
Oh, uh, beer?
323
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,249
Yeah.
324
00:16:14,273 --> 00:16:15,351
Beer.
325
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,874
Beer.
326
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,829
She looks kinda bored to me.
327
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:27,830
Who cares?
328
00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,699
Is that Bubbles McCall?
329
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:31,267
Are you kidding?
330
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,352
Bubbles will make her look like
Howdy Doody. This is just a prelim.
331
00:16:34,376 --> 00:16:36,755
Well, she's not taking much off.
332
00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:38,423
Don't you know anything?
333
00:16:38,447 --> 00:16:40,726
They don't let her take it off.
334
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:44,029
They save it up for
Bubbles. She does it all.
335
00:16:44,053 --> 00:16:46,553
Here we go.
336
00:16:51,527 --> 00:16:55,663
Hey, Bobbsey twins, your beer!
337
00:16:58,534 --> 00:17:01,035
No pennies, please.
338
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,025
She juggles pretty well.
339
00:17:13,049 --> 00:17:14,426
So what?
340
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,695
We can see that every
Sunday night on Ed Sullivan.
341
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,601
When's Bubbles coming out?
342
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,302
She should be next.
343
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,873
Potsie, did you hear that?
344
00:17:27,897 --> 00:17:29,141
What?
345
00:17:29,165 --> 00:17:31,911
That sneeze. It
sounded familiar.
346
00:17:31,935 --> 00:17:33,111
What sneeze?
347
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,198
That sneeze.
348
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,903
Potsie, my father's here.
349
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:42,371
Your dad?!
350
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,741
Turn your chair
around or something.
351
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:50,095
Now let's bring out Bubbles
and have her do her stuff!
352
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,196
Come on!
353
00:17:56,425 --> 00:17:59,004
We gotta get out of here
before my father sees us.
354
00:17:59,028 --> 00:18:01,640
Are you kidding? And miss
seeing Bubbles do her stuff?
355
00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:03,108
What if he sees us?
356
00:18:03,132 --> 00:18:05,193
Then we'll die with
a smile on our face.
357
00:18:05,217 --> 00:18:07,368
Look, we got this far,
we can't chicken out now.
358
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:14,918
Here it comes. This is
where she takes it all off.
359
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:33,515
OK, that's the show,
ladies and gents.
360
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:36,418
Turn off the bubble machine.
361
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,086
How come they
turned on the lights?
362
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,888
She didn't take it all off yet.
363
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,623
Let's get out of here, Potsie.
364
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:43,692
Ralph Malph said
she took it all off.
365
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,060
Potsie, let's beat it.
366
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,997
What's America coming to
when strippers don't strip?
367
00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,098
Potsie, this is our big chance.
368
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:53,351
My father went to the
men's room or something.
369
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:55,020
Come on. OK, OK.
370
00:19:55,044 --> 00:19:56,554
What a drag...
371
00:19:56,578 --> 00:19:59,947
You can't even get away
from your parents at a strip joint!
372
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:09,100
Oh, brother, that was close.
373
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:12,671
Oh... What's the matter?
374
00:20:12,695 --> 00:20:15,373
You wanted to
beat it, didn't you?
375
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:18,043
Potsie, my father was
in a striptease joint.
376
00:20:18,067 --> 00:20:20,863
I never thought he'd
do something like that.
377
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:23,699
We did something like that.
378
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:27,552
But this is different.
He's my father.
379
00:20:27,576 --> 00:20:29,254
Yeah.
380
00:20:29,278 --> 00:20:31,077
Come on.
381
00:20:37,586 --> 00:20:40,666
And now we return
to the conclusion
382
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:42,601
of tonight's late show.
383
00:20:42,625 --> 00:20:45,069
Oh, hi, Dad.
384
00:20:45,093 --> 00:20:47,227
Oh, hi, Richard.
385
00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:50,926
Good night.
386
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:54,145
Have a good time?
387
00:20:54,169 --> 00:21:00,157
Oh, you know... nothing special.
388
00:21:08,017 --> 00:21:10,462
What did you do tonight?
389
00:21:10,486 --> 00:21:15,251
Oh, I had a business meeting.
You know, nothing special.
390
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,253
Oh.
391
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,256
Well, I guess I
better hit the hay.
392
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,292
Richard?
393
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,826
Yes, Dad?
394
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:27,696
You forgot your souvenir.
395
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,186
Souvenir?
396
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:37,273
You were the
center of attention.
397
00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,630
Oh.
398
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:43,345
Now, would you mind telling me
399
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:45,903
just how you got
into that place?
400
00:21:48,190 --> 00:21:53,005
Well, I sorta used
a, uh, a fake ID.
401
00:21:53,029 --> 00:21:54,806
Well, in that case,
402
00:21:54,830 --> 00:21:57,876
you're sorta
grounded for a week.
403
00:21:57,900 --> 00:22:00,467
And let me have that ID.
404
00:22:05,474 --> 00:22:07,619
"Joe Kilvinski," huh?
405
00:22:07,643 --> 00:22:09,354
If he were here,
406
00:22:09,378 --> 00:22:12,758
I'd ground him for a week, too.
407
00:22:12,782 --> 00:22:15,694
Dad, does mom
know you were there?
408
00:22:15,718 --> 00:22:19,898
Yes, Richard, I told her.
It was a business meeting.
409
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:23,635
Every time this Fred
Hingle comes into town,
410
00:22:23,659 --> 00:22:26,371
he drags me down to that place.
411
00:22:26,395 --> 00:22:30,709
And the better the stripper,
the more nails I sell him.
412
00:22:30,733 --> 00:22:32,945
Richard, I tell your
mother everything.
413
00:22:32,969 --> 00:22:34,713
She understands.
414
00:22:34,737 --> 00:22:37,049
Then she knows I was there, too.
415
00:22:37,073 --> 00:22:40,452
No. That she
wouldn't understand.
416
00:22:40,476 --> 00:22:41,987
Oh. Thank you.
417
00:22:42,011 --> 00:22:45,390
Well, you had to
see for yourself
418
00:22:45,414 --> 00:22:47,826
what you weren't missing.
419
00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:51,897
Yeah. Yeah, Bubbles
McCall wasn't exactly
420
00:22:51,921 --> 00:22:54,566
what Ralph Malph
built her up to be.
421
00:22:54,590 --> 00:22:58,570
I think that Ralph
Malph and Fred Hingle
422
00:22:58,594 --> 00:23:01,506
would get along just great.
423
00:23:01,530 --> 00:23:02,874
Come on.
424
00:23:02,898 --> 00:23:07,512
Let's go to bed.
It's getting late.
425
00:23:07,536 --> 00:23:10,056
You know, I feel
a cold coming on.
426
00:23:14,377 --> 00:23:15,354
Oh, wait.
427
00:23:15,378 --> 00:23:23,378
♪ God bless America ♪
My home sweet home ♪
428
00:23:37,566 --> 00:23:45,383
♪ Standin' on the corner,
watchin' all the girls go by ♪
429
00:23:45,407 --> 00:23:48,219
Man, that week you were grounded
must've seemed like a month.
430
00:23:48,243 --> 00:23:49,921
The only time I spent
that long at home
431
00:23:49,945 --> 00:23:51,590
was when I had the mumps.
432
00:23:51,614 --> 00:23:54,058
It wasn't that bad. I
watched a lot of wrestling.
433
00:23:54,082 --> 00:23:57,629
You guys went down to
Eddie's Pink Palace, didn't you?
434
00:23:57,653 --> 00:23:58,864
Yeah. Yeah.
435
00:23:58,888 --> 00:24:00,599
How was it? Well, actually...
436
00:24:00,623 --> 00:24:02,667
It was terrific! They
had all these girls,
437
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:04,519
and there was this
one, Bubbles McCall...
438
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:06,655
She's the one I
heard took it all off.
439
00:24:06,679 --> 00:24:08,140
"Took it all off"?
440
00:24:08,164 --> 00:24:10,259
You gotta see it to believe it.
441
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:13,962
Yeah? Maybe I ought
to check that place out.
442
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:15,363
Thanks.
443
00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:17,165
Anytime. So long.
444
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,768
Why did you tell him that?
445
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:21,436
I don't know.
446
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,472
'Cause bull makes
the world go 'round.
447
00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:24,473
What?
448
00:24:24,497 --> 00:24:25,907
That's why you said it...
449
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:28,026
'cause bull makes
the world go 'round.
450
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,895
You know, Fonz, you really
got a way of sayin' things.
451
00:24:30,919 --> 00:24:33,282
Yeah, that was very profound.
452
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:36,819
You know, you're right.
453
00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:38,821
Where you goin'?
454
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,045
I think I'm gonna write
it on the bathroom wall.
455
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:48,897
♪ This day is ours
♪ Won't you be mine?
456
00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:51,538
♪ These happy
days ♪ Happy days ♪
457
00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:03,244
♪ Hello, sunshine goodbye, rain
458
00:25:03,268 --> 00:25:05,747
♪ She's wearin' my
school ring on her chain
459
00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:08,383
♪ She's my steady, I'm her man
460
00:25:08,407 --> 00:25:11,386
♪ I'm gonna love her all I can
461
00:25:11,410 --> 00:25:14,990
♪ This day is ours
♪ Won't you be mine?
462
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:18,727
♪ These happy days
♪ This day is ours
463
00:25:18,751 --> 00:25:21,362
♪ Oh, please be
mine ♪ Oh, happy days
464
00:25:21,386 --> 00:25:23,386
♪ Happy days ♪
31011
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