All language subtitles for Never.Have_.I.Ever_.S04E06.720p.WEB_.h264-EDITH

Well, nerds, the day has come,

one that all masochistic overachievers
know well.

It's early decision day.

At exactly 4 p.m. this afternoon,
Devi would know her fate with Princeton.

Suffice it to say,
she was feeling the pressure a bit.

It could go either way.

On the one hand, she was a star student.

On the other, she did have a few dings
on the old résumé.

There was that teeny, tiny suspension
sophomore year

for being a liar and a bully.

- What?
- I said you're suspended.

That silly little time
when Devi's boyfriend

robbed the Princeton admissions officer.

Hi. Uh...

I have your wallet.

And that itsy-bitsy moment

when Devi didn't get
a prized recommendation

because she yelled this...

Circumcised dick.

If everything went right,

she'd be sitting pretty
as a Princeton Tiger next fall.

And if it didn't, well...

God.

You okay, kanna? Big day.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, I just wanna remind you

that whatever happens today,
you're going to be all right.

Uh, what do you mean "whatever happens"?
Do you think I'm not gonna get in?

No. No, I just wanna prepare you in case...

Mom, I don't need this negative energy.
Ugh! You're gonna jinx me.

Can't you just believe in me
for one second?

Devi, hold... I do believe in you, but I...

Hey. Guess what.

I heard from Jonah,
who heard from Chris C,

whose mom has a connection
in the Princeton office,

that Princeton admitted someone
from our school.

Think you're gonna have a good day today.

Suck on that, Devi's mom.

Devi's dreams
were about to come true.

Ben all but confirmed
that she was totally getting...

Deferred?

Deferred?

How could those jackoffs defer you?

And if you got deferred...

Then who the hell got in?

♪ I used to be the type of girl
That would hate on this nicotine ♪

♪ Uh, uh! ♪

♪ Caramel Flake ♪

♪ Caramel Flake, Caramel Flake ♪

Okay, this is not so bad.

Getting deferred is not a rejection.

And, uh, you know what?
We thought this might happen.

No, you thought this might happen.

Because apparently, you think I suck
just as much as Princeton does.

Devi, I do not think you suck.

Well, you put it out in the universe
I wasn't getting in, and then I didn't.

I never said you weren't getting in.

I was just... trying
to manage your expectations. It's...

Mom, how hard is it for you to just say,
"Devi, you're definitely getting in"?

Kanna, wouldn't you feel worse right now
if I had said that?

No, because I would at least know

that my own mom
doesn't think I'm a total idiot.

Devi...

- Hi.
- Hi.

There were a ton of packages on the porch.

Ooh, those are mine.

Lenny, I bought you some new looks.

I went absolutely bananas
on the Tommy Bahama website.

Literally.

Nirmy, you spoil me.

I think I found myself a sugar mama.

Well, Len, I hope that you also bought
Pati some nice things too.

Oh, I don't need anything.

My love language is physical touch.

Oh my God.

Wow. I really should have stayed late
at the office today.

Oh, that reminds me. I better call
that hotel and give them my credit card

if we're going to Palm Springs
this weekend.

I'll go get your wallet.

Ms. Warner, what did I do wrong?
How could this have happened?

Devi, you did nothing wrong.
You're an excellent student.

You just happened to apply
to a very competitive college.

And getting deferred
is not a negative thing.

Doesn't feel positive.

You can still get in regular decision.

Regular.

- This is what I am now.
- There is no shame in regular decision.

But you should apply
to some other schools.

Okay, fine, fine.
I'll apply to other Ivies.

Maybe also have some safety schools
on your list.

Ms. Warner, how dare you?

I'm already suffering the indignity
of regular decision.

You do know that there are
many phenomenal schools

that are not Ivy Leagues, right?

Yes, and true beauty is on the inside.
Let's cut to the chase.

I need to go to Princeton.
What's our game plan?

At this point,
I think you just wait and see.

Mmm, not really my style.

What about a sport?
I don't have any sports.

Probably for a reason.

Yeah, I'm gonna do another class,
add some more clubs, do a sport.

Don't worry, Ms. Warner, I got this.

Wait, so... who did get into Princeton,
if it wasn't me?

Oh, I'm not at liberty to say.

You know,
college-counselor confidentiality

and... and all.

Okay.

Yeah. So it wasn't a glitch
or a funny prank.

I was actually deferred.

No! That's the worst-case scenario.

I know, right?
Thank you for your passion, Fabiola.

And Ms. Dubs won't even tell me
who the little snake is.

Ooh, there's a snake? I hate them already.

Oh, should we hate snakes?

They're very instrumental
to the ecosystem.

I just can't figure out who it is.

I know every single person
who applied early.

Is there, like, some Young Sheldon
freshman I'm unaware of?

Uh... Wait, Fab.

What happened with Yale? Did you get in?

No,
I did not get into Yale.

Hey, their loss,
'cause you are incredible.

Ugh!
What is wrong with these colleges?

How did they not see the perfection
of the queens that sit before me?

Oh, they will. Yeah, I'm working on it.

Which reminds me.
Aneesa, can I join the girls soccer team?

Respectfully, Devi, I've seen you
get winded on an escalator at the mall.

Fair enough.

Oh hey, Paxton.

Are there any sports
that require a little to no exercise?

Um...

The boys varsity swim team
is looking for an equipment manager.

- Do you get a varsity letter for that?
- Yep.

Noice. Wait up.

Alrighty, team, onwards and upwards.

Although, if I do find out
who stole my spot at Princeton,

I will destroy them.

Okay, bye.

So glad I got recruited
and don't have to do any of this.

See you guys later.

El.

I'm the one who got into Princeton.

Huh?

How? Why? What have you done?

I know. I'm sorry.
I don't know what happened.

I was just going to get a brochure,

then that nice lady
started talking robotics with me,

and before I knew it,
I was paying $70 to apply.

I got seduced, El.

That's really bad. She's gonna freak.

I know. What do I do? Should I confess?

No, definitely don't.

Ugh! I can't have you guys be
in a fight right now.

This is the absolute worst timing.

Why?

Uh... Doesn't matter.
Just say nothing and hope she forgets.

But also, that's really amazing, Fab.
I'm so proud of you.

Oh!

♪ Be careful what you say to me... ♪

It wasn't all doom and gloom
at Sherman Oaks High.

Our other resident brainiac
was in the middle of a victory lap.

That's right,
Ben Gross had gotten into Columbia.

Notice anything different about me?

Mmm... New cologne?

It's really lemony.

What? No, that's the janitors mop bucket.

- Ah.
- Peep the drip, babe. I got into Columbia.

I know you got into Columbia.

The satellites orbiting in space know
that you got into Columbia.

Anyway, come over tonight,
celebrate with me.

Patty's cooking a special dinner,
and David Blaine's doing close-up magic.

Wow, that's an enticing offer.

But I have a student art show
after school,

and an alumni gallery owner's coming.

If he likes my stuff, he might show it.

Wow, that's amazing.
Maybe we'll have two things to celebrate.

I'll tell Patty to make dinner later.

David says he has a hard out,
but I know it doesn't.

Oh.

I wonder if anyone's done a study on
the bacterial growth of a creamer station.

I doubt it because no one
wants to see those results.

Good point.

So listen, Kamala,
the reason why I invited you to coffee

is that I've just been appointed director

of the Center for Global Health
at Johns Hopkins.

Oh my God. Dr. Logan, congratulations.

Thank you.

I've really enjoyed being your advisor.

I think you're immensely talented.

And I was wondering
if you'd consider coming with me.

Me? M-Move to Maryland? When?

I know it's short notice,
but, uh, I need to leave in three weeks.

Oh.

I don't know
if I could leave that quickly.

I have a lot going on here.

For instance, um...

I have a dentist appointment
at the end of the month.

I believe they have dentists
in Maryland.

I know it's sudden,
but this program would help bring

cutting-edge medicine
to the developing world,

something that I know
you're passionate about.

I am. It's just...

Whatever.

Len, darling, I don't understand
why we have to wait.

All I wanna do
is whisk you off to the beach.

I know, baby.

So then make like Jerry Maguire
and show me the money.

Don't worry. I have a plan.

Thank you.
You're not gonna have to wait much longer.

Kamala?

- You okay?
- Oh. Yeah, sorry.

These satin pants are really slippery.
I just slid right out of my chair.

So, what do you think of the job offer?

Oh, it's an amazing opportunity.

Could I just maybe have a day or two
to mull it over?

Of course.

But if it sweetens the deal,

the job comes with a signing bonus
and crab cakes.

Oh, hey, Fabiola. Are you coming
to the barbecue for all the early admits?

Um, no. No, I... I don't like parties
or... or sauced meats.

You haven't told Devi yet, have you?

I just can't.

Okay, listen.

The barbecue is in the faculty lot.

And you are not
gonna run into her out there.

So just come for a minute.

You deserve to celebrate
this amazing achievement.

Plus, you have to try my coleslaw.

It started out as egg salad.

So how come you wanna do a sport?

You're not, like, you know, athletic.

Well, if you must know,
Princeton... deferred me.

That's not so bad.
At least you weren't rejected.

Hmm. Right.

Anyway, I need to see
what I can add to my résumé

to make myself seem
more desirable to them.

And you think doing grunt work
for boys' swim

is gonna make the difference?

Maybe.
I don't know. I'll try anything.

I know this is the wrong thing
to say right now,

but it does make me feel a little better

that someone like you
also has college struggles.

Well, great. I am glad my suffering
is bringing you such joy.

Oh. Uh, hello, Coach.

I'm here about the swim team
equipment manager job.

As you can see here,
I type 100 words per minute.

I'm proficient with Microsoft Word
and Excel. And my strengths have been...

Yeah, fine. You can have the job.
You look pretty sturdy.

Now, the season doesn't start
until after winter break,

but since you're here,
get the new Speedos out of my trunk.

The old ones had thinned,
and we had too many pop-outs.

Ugh.

Ugh! There it was,
the early-decision barbecue.

Look at them all celebrating
under that braggy marquee.

Devi should be over there.

Instead, she was
retrieving men's underwear

from a ten-year-old Kia.

Wait, the Princeton snake

is probably slithering around
in that crowd.

Maybe it's time for a little pest control.

Okay, there's Washington State.

There were the Duke kids.

And Columbia.

Devi didn't see a single stray.

Not one random...

Fab?

Why are you at the early-admits barbecue?

Oh, I was just hungry.

Be honest. Did you actually apply to Yale?

Devi, I...

Fabiola!

Fabiola!

Fabiola!

Devi, I am so sorry. Let me explain.

Don't bother.

Hey. Is this your painting?
Wow, that is awesome.

Thanks. Oh God, that's Kade Andrews.
He's the gallery owner. Act natural.

He had a Samantha Rosenwald
before her solo show at Stanley's.

- Do you know what that means?
- No.

Hi there. Is this your piece?

Yeah.

Do you... Do you... Do you hate it?

No, I love it, actually.
Your perspective is super fresh.

- You're very talented.
- Isn't she?

You know, I'm always telling her
to turn her art into NFTs

so she can make some bank.

Hey, why don't I get us some drinks
while you guys talk art and stuff?

Hey, do you have a drink request?

Yeah, the sun, and how it radiates
out here. Absolutely inspired.

Thanks. I... I thought so too.

- It kinda has a burnt orange color to it.
- Butt dial.

So is that, uh, small, anxious dude
your boyfriend?

Uh, yeah. I mean, I don't know.
It's not that serious, so...

Yeah, yeah, he seems a bit buttoned up
to be dating someone like you.

- Kind of an Urkel vibe.
- Totally.

Yeah.

Well,
that's a pretty brutal thing to overhear.

And across town,
Devi was equally shell-shocked.

How could her best friend do this to her?

How could Princeton do this to her?

Devi, what did I say about slamming doors?

It's for white children.

Okay, Mom, I just found out that Fabiola
applied to Princeton behind my back

and got in.

Oh, kanna, I am so sorry.

But this is really
what I was trying to tell you.

- Sometimes things don't go our way.
- Mom, come on.

I really don't wanna listen
to anything rational right now.

Sorry, Len, I don't think
Devi's gonna join us for dinner.

Oh. I was making somethin' special.

Does no one here know how to use a door?

Auntie, Pati,
I need to speak to you two in private.

Hello, Len.

Okay, I hate to be the one
to tell you this, Pati,

but I think that Len is not the man
that you think he is.

Today, I saw him with a woman

who was wearing what I can only describe
as business lingerie.

Well, he has a lot of female friends.

He's a regular at several Zumba classes.

No, they were not just friends.

I think that he brought her
to this house before.

I'm not worried about Len
running around on me.

I keep my man very satisfied.

Too much, Mami, just... It's too much.

I also think that they're involved in
some kind of, like, money-making scheme.

Len doesn't need
money-making schemes. I'm rich.

- What do you mean you're rich?
- Oh.

When my husband died,
Mohan convinced me to invest,

so I put all my money into Apple

because it's such a cute name.

At that time,
the shares were only a quarter.

Oh my God.

And yet you never once offered
to pitch in for groceries.

That's how the rich stay rich, baby.

Ladies, dinner is ready.

But let's hold up a second.

I wanna say something to Nirmala.

Nirmy, these past few months

have been the most amazing
of my entire life,

so I want the rest of my months on Earth

to be as happy as they are now.

So, what I'm saying is...

Nirmy...

...will you marry me?

Oh, Len. Yes, I will.

You will? Oh!

Uh-oh, Kamala, it looks like Len
does have a money-making plan,

and it is your grandmother.

What's wrong?

I thought
making out would cheer you up,

but it's honestly kind of bumming me out
to kiss someone so sad.

Sorry.
I just feel really bad about Devi.

Fab, come on.

You did something extraordinary.
Devi should be happy for you.

And if she can't be, then whatever.
You'll make new friends in college.

I don't want new friends.

You say that now, but you will.

I never talk
to my high school friends anymore,

mostly 'cause a lot of them
got really into EDM.

Addison, I don't wanna not talk
to my high-school friends.

I want Devi in my life forever.

Okay, okay, sorry.

Listen, if your friendship
is as strong as you say it is,

then Devi will get past this.
You just have to talk to her.

You think so?

Yeah. It's gonna be okay.

Now, how about we really cheer you up
and watch some sexy cyborgs on Westworld?

- Hi.
- Seriously, where's your bag?

It's somewhere in my locker.

Ugh.

Hey, can we please talk?

Oh, are there other dreams of mine
that you wanna steal?

Uh, Devi, stop. Hear her out.
I really need for you to be friends again.

How can I be friends
with someone I don't even recognize?

- Since when do you wanna go to Princeton?
- I wanted to tell you, but how could I?

I don't know, maybe with words?

I can't believe you'd lie
about something so important to me.

I know. I am so, so sorry.

You know what? Being deferred
was already a stab in the heart.

I didn't also need to be
stabbed in the back.

Sitch still a little tender, huh?

I actually came to talk to Eleanor.

So contrary to the email,

we're gonna need you here
at 6:00 on Friday, not 7:00.

- That's when everyone's lining up for...
- Sh!

Okay, this little friend group

needs to do a much better job
of communicating.

What was she talking about?

Hey, guess what.

Kade's putting my painting in his gallery.
Isn't that amazing?

- Yeah, it's really great.
- I know.

So what happened to you last night?
You just disappeared.

Did you accidentally eat dairy again?

No, and I can have dairy
as long as I have my pills.

No, I left last night
because you butt-dialed me,

and I didn't wanna ruin the night
with my "Urkel energy."

Oh God. Ben, I... I'm so sorry.

It's pretty rough
to hear your girlfriend of six months

say that your relationship
isn't very serious.

Almost as rough as sitting through
a magic show for one.

I'm so stupid.
I... I was just trying to impress that guy.

Of course I think
our relationship is serious.

It's just... the art world
is super judgy, and...

- And you're embarrassed of me.
- No, I... I'm not embarrassed of you.

We're just different.
You're a little more tightly wound.

I mean, I've never met a teen boy
who starches his shirts.

What's the point of having a collar
if it's not crisp?

You know, yesterday was supposed to be
one of the best days of my life.

I got this thing
that I'd worked for years for,

and I went from feeling like a winner
to such a loser in seconds.

Margot, I can't be with someone
who thinks I'm a loser.

I don't think you're a loser.

I... I'm trying to tell you
that I love how dorky you are.

Yeah, that sucks.

I think we're done.

And, uh, for what it's worth,
Kade is the loser.

His '80s vintage leather jacket?

It's from Club Monaco.
My mom has the same one.

Ben...

Stupid.

Okay. Hey.

You still mad about Princeton?

Yeah.

And at my best friend who stole my spot.

Fabiola got in.

Oh, well, that's awesome for her.

No, Paxton, it's not awesome.
One of my friendships has now been ruined.

Okay, I think we're being
a little dramatic here.

- This shouldn't ruin your friendship.
- What are you talking about?

What if Trent applied to ASU?

I'd be freaking psyched.

Hell, if Trent went to ASU,
I'd probably still be there.

Uh... But what if he kept it from you
that he applied?

I'd assume he had a good reason.

Or that he concussed himself
on his Onewheel again.

Hmm.

But look, you know why Fabiola
couldn't tell you.

Because you flip out.

I deserve to flip out. This was my dream.

Ugh. You don't get it.

Oh, I get it.

If you remember, I had some
pretty solid dreams for college,

but then someone made me get hit by a car.

But, hey, I forgave you, didn't I?
I mean, I more than forgave you.

We did, like,
a lot of making out after that.

Hey, you gotta let it go, all right?

This is not worth losing
a good friend over.

Yeah, I guess so.

Hey, you're kind of wise
now that you're on staff.

Too bad that they make you wear
this sad-sack uniform though.

Mm-hmm.

You know I still look good.

Okay, scholars,

it is time to present
your final projects of the semester.

Now, in an effort
to right the wrongs of our history,

let's let a strong woman of color
speak first.

Fabiola?

Oh. Okay. Um...

My topic is about
American isolationism in the 1930s.

Mmm.

"Following the devastation of World War I
and the Great Depression,

America chose to close itself off
from other countries."

"But here's the thing about isolationism,

is everyone needs friends."

And America,
she deeply needs her best allies.

She depends on them
for protection, for stability,

for fun sleepovers.

Anyway...

she's just really sorry
that she let her best ally down

at the beginning of World War II.

That was beautiful.

And it is always nice
to be reminded of America's pronouns.

Hey, Fab, are you okay?

No, don't comfort me. I'm a bad friend.

No, you're not.

I'm the problem here.

I don't own Princeton.
You're obviously allowed to apply there.

Even so, I shouldn't have lied to you.

But I get why you did.

I am so sorry that I made you feel like
you couldn't talk to me.

- I never want that to be true again.
- Me either.

And hey, you got into Princeton, Fab.

That is sick.
Do you think you're gonna go?

Would you kill me if I said I wasn't sure?

Of course not.

Because if you don't go,
that opens up a spot for this bitch.

Yeah, I think I'm still gonna apply
to other schools.

Like, this may sound weird,
but when we visited Princeton,

I just didn't feel a spark.

I mean, it has an incredible
robotics program,

and it's perfect on paper, but like...

You know you don't have to marry
your college, right?

But I get what you're saying.
I do feel a spark about Princeton.

Yeah, I... I probably will too
when I go there.

I'm being dumb, forget it.

Oh. And when you get in,
maybe we could be roomies.

Oh my God, yeah. That'd be dope.

Are you guys okay?

- You're friends again?
- Yeah, we're good.

El, you've been acting really weird.
What's going on?

Okay, so the thing is,

I am graduating in two days.

- What?
- Yeah.

So it'll just be the two of you
for the spring.

Surprise.

Why are you graduating early?

I really heard you guys
when we were at Princeton.

I have to be an actor.

And since Juilliard made it clear
that I'm not going to a conservatory,

I wanna start my professional career now.

So you're just done with school?

Yeah. You're looking at a working woman.

Well, I have to book a job first,
but you're looking at a pre-working woman.

Okay then. Congratulations.

Wow, you're graduating.

Yeah!

So Fabiola got into Princeton,
and Eleanor's graduating early,

and I did eventually untangle
all of those lane buoys.

So...
...all in all, things are decent.

Are they?

Mmm.

Devi?

I just can't shake off how bummed I am
that Princeton deferred me.

I hear you, but remember,
getting deferred isn't such a bad thing...

Why do people keep saying that to me?

Getting deferred is a bad thing.

It means they're not sure about me.
They're not sure I'm good enough.

But do you think you're good enough?

Honestly, I don't know anymore.

I mean, right now I feel pretty mediocre.

My own mother assumed
I was gonna get rejected.

Stop. You know I don't believe that.

Devi, if this Princeton dream
has so much power over your self-worth,

have you ever considered
that maybe it's not serving you?

Wow, Devi, first grade.
Pretty soon you'll be going to college.

- Have you thought about where you'd go?
- Princess College.

Hmm. Don't know
if there's a Princess College.

But there's a Princeton College.

'Kay, I'll go there.

Number one school in the country.

Aiming high, Devi. I'm impressed.

I'm glad we came up with this plan
before the bus came.

Well, I don't think I'm ready
to give up on that dream quite yet.

Kamala.

Hey.

I could've sworn you heard me yell to you
in the lab before you rushed off.

Nope. Definitely not avoiding you
or anything.

What's up? Any fun weekend plans?

Uh, yes, I'm packing up my house
to move across the country.

Have you given
any more thought to my offer?

I have.

It's an incredible opportunity,

but I just don't think
that I could move to Baltimore.

My family needs me too much here.

Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.

Are you sure?

Okay, well,

if you change your mind, please reach out.

Can we talk?

I made your favorite, chip salad.

Four different types of chips.

- Are those white cheddar puffs?
- Yes, they are.

Hmm.

Please come in.

Listen,
I'm sorry I've seemed so negative,

or like I don't believe in you.

That couldn't be farther from the truth.

Devi, I've just lived longer
than you have,

and I know that sometimes,
you can work incredibly hard for something

and things just don't go your way,
you know?

I was the top resident
in my program in India,

but when I got here, no one cared.

I had to start the whole process
over again.

That blows.

It did blow. I was devastated.

I ate a whole KFC family meal...

- Uh...
- ...and I'm vegetarian.

Damn, Mom, that's dark.

I know.

Listen, I wasn't trying to jinx you.

I was just trying to, I guess, protect you
from that kind of disappointment.

But I absolutely 100% believe in you,

and I think Princeton
is really, really stupid

for not snatching you up
first opportunity they got.

Thanks, Mom.

All I wanted to hear
was that Princeton's stupid.

It's very stupid.

And you know what?

Even when things don't work out,
they usually do work out.

As long as you don't give up.

Hmm.

Hey. Heard about Princeton.

Yeah, it stoinks,

but I know, I know,
deferral isn't that bad.

What? Yeah, it is. It's horrible.
Regular decision's for gen pop.

Exactly. Thank you for saying that.

And, holy shit,
congratulations on Columbia.

Did you and Margot celebrate?

Yeah, uh, we broke up.

Oh. I'm sorry.

Yeah, I guess we both took an L this week.

Uh, well, all right,
I'll, uh, see you after winter break.

And, uh, good luck
with those applications.

Huh. So Ben is single now.

Devi, did you catch that?

Yeah, I think she heard.

♪ Tattooed on my skin ♪

♪ Baby, you're permanent ♪

♪ I tried but I can't erase you ♪

♪ Maybe that's for a reason ♪

♪ This love I can't explain ♪

♪ But like my rose ♪

♪ Tattooed on my skin ♪

♪ You will never go away ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪