Original subtitles

When I first saw a mermaid Barbie on TV, I was like…

[gasps deeply]

[exhales]

Oh! That's it!

[cheerful, upbeat music plays]

Okay, girls.

Alrighty.

Okay, Christie. Let me fix your hair.

My Mermaid Fantasy Christie, Miss Purple, she's all about her hair.

Her hair has to be fixed

before a camera's in front of her, or even when she go into the pool.

I know you don't like your hair being all crazy, Miss Girl.

And then I have my Fairytopia Mermaid Christie.

I love your tail color.

I love yours too. It's so pretty.

I know, right? We have, like, the best tails.

With Toy Story being a thing,

and, you know, finally having dolls and stuff,

I was like, "These bitches come alive when I'm not in here." [laughs]

Fishies! I'm here!

Hey, girl! Hey! Hi!

I am over it, Chanelle! Okay? I am over it.

That's why I have so many. That's why I love them.

That's why I talk to them. That's why I play with them.

And I have no shame in my game.

Those are my babies. And even as an adult, Imma have my dolls with me.

[cheerful music ends]

-["Black Sea" by Natasha Blume playing] -♪ Come down to the Black Sea ♪

♪ Swimming with me ♪

♪ Ah-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Come down to the Black Sea ♪

♪ Swimming with me ♪

♪ Ah-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Go down with me, fall with me ♪

♪ Let's make it worth it ♪

♪ Ah-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ You rise, I fall ♪

♪ I stand, you crawl ♪

♪ You twist, I turn ♪

♪ Who's the first to burn? ♪

♪ You sit and stay ♪

♪ I don't obey ♪

♪ Where do we land? ♪

♪ In the Black Sea ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ In the Black Sea ♪

♪ Where do we land? ♪

♪ In the Black Sea ♪

[song fades out]

[intense music playing]

[Morgana] The number of professional mermaids

currently living 100% on performing,

I would say is less than 50 in the world.

And I can count on one hand

the number of places where you can be a full-time mermaid.

And Mertailor is one of the very few unique opportunities

to be a professional mermaid/merman.

[indistinct chattering]

[Eric] Whenever you're ready.

Point those toes and flip backwards.

And she's a show-off.

Okay, Tristan, let's go ahead and see your front leap.

So that was a bird arabesque.

Great job. Watch your head.

-Sort of looks like the god Enki. -[Eric chuckles]

Give the man a trident and he's done.

[Eric] She wants this so bad.

I just want to see your personalities underwater. All right?

So smile and blow us a big kiss, okay?

All right, thank you, you two.

[music ends]

[squealing and moaning happily]

She was nervous.

Super nervous.

She probably has some experience.

Sometimes too much experience can be not good.

Might be harder to train.

That's what you have to look at, is how much work you have to invest in it.

We're really happy that you all came out.

We've got some decisions that we've got to make.

We're not necessarily gonna make 'em today or tomorrow.

There's a couple of you that we're gonna… talk to in the near future.

We will be giving everybody an email in a week or two with our final decisions.

[Sparkles] I think I did good. Like, it felt good.

Now we wait.

[light, jaunty music playing]

[Morgana] Mermaiding really found me, not the other way around.

I was working as a circus performer. My primary discipline was as an aerialist.

And I just started to sort of pick up other skills to add to my repertoire,

make me more bookable.

I became a stilt-walker, a fire-breather,

and at one point I was like, "Okay. Let's add mermaiding."

And almost instantly, I had more bookings for mermaiding

than I did for any of my other skills combined.

So the need was very obviously there.

The industry was obviously looking for more performers.

And that's how it developed.

Eventually I had more work mermaiding than I could personally physically do,

so I started hiring other mermaids that I would book out.

And thus was born the Circus Siren Pod.

It happened very organically, very naturally.

And now I'm in charge of 35 live performance artists.

[music ends]

[camera clicks]

I am so tired of saying "professional mermaid"

and hearing, "Oh, like Weeki Wachee?"

No. No. No.

Not like Weeki Wachee.

Morning, guys.

It is eight o'clock.

[singsong] Wakey, wakey!

Big girl mermaid time.

Good morning.

-Good morning. -[Morgana] Schedule's on the board.

Becky, you're in first.

Chores, chores, chores, chores…

Jesus Christ!

Hey, guys?

Can we not leave animal fur on the ground

and give Morgana a heart attack in the morning?

-[mermaid 1] Yes! -[laughter]

[Morgana] I grew up with a father who was a Green Beret.

He taught survival skills from day one.

I was 100% Daddy's little girl.

And him leaving broke my heart.

I think that was my first

real experience with loss.

But I have always had a survivalist's mentality.

[whip swishes, cracks]

In the house, there's a bo staff,

two English longbows,

crossbow,

two muskets, a rifle,

several swords,

two Lochaber axes,

a fixed mace,

two combat walking sticks…

I'm not gonna begin to count the knives.

[bow twangs]

It's the sense that you have the chance to control your fate.

[Sparkles] It's such a big deal to go and travel to these auditions.

It costs a lot of money and time

for something I may or may not get.

"Sparkles, I know getting to be a part

of an underwater show was and is a dream for you."

"Unfortunately, at this time, we do not have a position for you

in our underwater performance department to offer you."

"However, your positive energy, efforts, and courage is much appreciated."

"Myself and the rest of our crew wishes you nothing but the best."

"I hope to see you again in the near future."

"Best wishes, Eric."

[birds singing]

[Tristan] "Dear Tristan,

I am pleased to offer you a full-time job at Mertailor."

"Your first day is May 6th."

[chuckling emotionally]

Oh my gosh.

[phone line ringing]

-[exhales deeply] -[line continues ringing]

-[woman] Hey, T. What's up? -Hey, Mom.

They hired me. My first day is May 6th.

-Are you serious? -Yes!

And we're gonna figure what my role is at Mertailor,

but basically like, "Welcome to the family."

You got something wonderful going, and I'm proud of you.

-Love you. -I love you too.

[laughing] Bye, Mom!

[sighs]

I want Mertailor to be my career.

I think I'm worthy.

[chuckling] I know… I'm probably a liability, but…

Goals. Dreams.

When I was 19 years old, I started at Walt Disney World

as a parade and show performer.

[instructor] Tristan, four steps. You're just twisting and that's why…

[Tristan] And I was selected by a documentary crew

to show what it was like to be a Disney performer.

And the night before the first day of filming

was my first time doing drugs.

Today was my first day. I didn't know what to expect.

I showed up,

cameras in my face,

thinking, "I'm about to die."

Tristan looked very nervous.

I see him and eyes are this big and he's like, "What?"

"I have to take these swords and move 'em which way and do what?"

It's 'cause I was cracked out.

I was out of my mind.

I developed an amphetamine addiction.

And it just grabbed a hold of me

in a way that I was completely unprepared for.

I got fired from Disney.

I never thought I would perform again.

Life got harder.

Life got really hard.

Someone sent me a mermaid tail.

And I noticed that days that I swam

were days that I either didn't use

or didn't even have a craving.

I'm sober now.

There are days that are harder than others.

But…

Being a performer in the tank for Eric…

That goal, I can see that light.

There's something that's drawn humanity to the concept of mermaids

since before the written word.

And now with the invention of social media,

we're starting to change what it means to be a mermaid

and what a mermaid can look like.

There are mermaids out there who have absolutely excelled in social media

and in bringing mermaiding to the world through that form.

Mermaid Hannah is the OG, the original mermaid

that's been out there since 2000.

She specializes in these incredible underwater photo shoots with sharks

and other marine animals.

And then there's Merman Andy out in California.

He's been revolutionizing short form video format.

The Blixunami is this incredible force of nature coming out of South Carolina.

He's become an inspiration in the community.

[upbeat music playing]

[Blix] I am The Blixunami,

and I am a non-binary merm.

I'm all about entertaining people.

I'm the first merperson with music out.

-Okay, rolling. -[woman] Action.

[Blix] People can call me crazy, but I do not care.

I'm living my best life.

[woman] Stop there.

[whooping]

-Yes! -It's right behind me, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh God!

[Blix] I'm working on a song called "Splish-Splash on 'Em."

And I'm working on the music video for it.

-[woman] Ooh… -Wow. That's a beautiful shot.

-Yes! -Holy shit.

[woman] Cut!

There's so many things I want to do, but then when it comes to music videos,

you need a budget, you need money, and I don't have a lot,

so I have to be super creative.

So I'm working with Merma Naja.

-Like this too. -Yeah. Like, yeah…

[Blix] I need you for my music video, beautiful.

-[Naja] Stick your hand out. -Good boy. Good boy.

[Naja] I think Blix is going to be huge.

A huge star.

When I first met him I said, "You know what?"

"You're gonna be famous."

Should we move Blix or…

Yeah, I don't…

'Cause you keep petting him.

I can't do what I need to with a horse here.

-That's why I'm like step… -I'm saying…

[Blix] Naja gives me, as a mer-mom,

an encouragement that I didn't get from my real mother.

-Do your thing. Yes. -Yeah.

[Naja] Blix is my mer-son.

He's my muse.

He's my inspiration.

After this, I still want to film even bigger scenes.

I want to go all out for the underwater scenes.

I'm trying to lip-synch the whole song underwater too.

-The whole thing? -The whole thing.

Next level.

-Just beyond. -The sky is not the limit.

[overlapping chatter]

[whistling, cheering]

Come on in, guys. You can come closer.

I know it's a nine-foot apex predator with opposable thumbs,

but the glass is two inches thick. You're probably fine.

[children laughing, chattering]

If you're just joining us,

Kira here is our Atlantic Ocean Bermuda Triangle mermaid.

She is a princess, or at least she claims.

[little girl] I haven't seen a real mermaid in a long time.

[Morgana] In the US, it's very difficult to be a full-time professional mermaid.

You pretty much need to be a travelling performer

in the style of the old circus in order to make this your full-time job.

In the bottom of her tank are her sunken treasures.

She has one trick and one trick only. It is fetch.

If you'd like her to swim to the bottom of her tank

and fetch a treasure for you, you can see our pirates.

Their one trick is taking your money.

[children laughing]

I'm on the road 48 weeks out of 52 a year.

[cheers and applause]

It's an amazing, magical life. You get to see a lot of the world.

But it is exhausting on the travel side.

Whew! I'll just live here now.

-[groans] -Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

The business of being a sexy, graceful mermaid is so great.

It's when I come up, and there's snot dripping down my face, and I just think,

"Are you not entertained?"

Years ago this article ran, and it said, "Professional mermaid,"

and the entire listing was two sentences. It said,

"Professional mermaiding is just like modelling,

only you sit on a rock in a tail."

"Average salary, 60,000 a year."

Where is this rock?

[applause]

Mermaid gigs fall into two categories

that tend to be family-friendly kid-focused,

or high glam, Vegas, corporate party, rooftop pool kind of vibe.

In a kids' show you might get weird questions,

and you need to have good improv to deal with whatever that four-year-old

might throw at you, trying to prove you're not real.

But at adult events,

your improv skills become less about answering questions

and more about deflecting without ruining the mood.

Men will ask us all the time, "How does the mermaid have sex?"

And generally my answer is, "Well, not with you, sir."

-Yes! -[laughter]

[Morgana] Sexual harassment is so common in the mermaid industry,

we actually have a term for it.

We call them "merverts."

The number of guys that are like,

"A real mermaid wouldn't wear a top."

Again, sir, how many do you know?

How many mermaids?

I've had plenty of people tell me my boobs are too small to be a mermaid.

"The things I'd do to your tail."

"I could spank you with that tail."

I'm just on "spanking the tail." I'm like, "Do you know what that costs?"

"Are you funding my next tail? No, take your hands off it."

-[laughter] -"It's tailored." We start laughing.

Let's look at your buoyancy this morning. [clears throat]

Exhale.

Dump it. Dump all the air and take a breath.

Dump all the air and take a breath.

It takes a lot of energy

and time to put into making somebody an underwater performer.

Training them how to breathe on the air hose,

working on facial expressions and movements,

working on body language underwater.

All right, stand up. Just stand up straight.

And point your toes, bend your knee.

You know, my dad took me to the audition, and that was the first mermaiding thing.

So I've never done anything mermaiding. But I love it now.

[both laugh]

[Annie] If you take a wrong breath or if your body, you know,

decides that was not a good enough breath,

it can be very easy to think, "Oh my gosh, I'm drowning."

"There's water in my nose, there's water in my sinuses,"

and everything starts getting a little shaky-feeling.

-Hey. -[groans]

That was a hard one. [laughs]

[Tristan] It's hard for me to explain to people who aren't mers

how big of a deal it is to work at Mertailor.

[Eric] I hired Tristan because I knew he wanted to grow with Mertailor.

He wanted to be part of Mertailor and its future growth.

He wanted to be an underwater performer,

but he was willing to do other things at Mertailor to get there.

[Tristan] My goal at the top of the list is being a performer in the tank for Eric.

And being sober and being ready

is gonna make…

make all my dreams come true.

[gentle music playing]

[Blix] I definitely believe, 1,000%,

that I am a descendant of a mermaid because of my great-great-grandfather.

And let me tell you why.

Back in his day,

he was chilling at Edisto Beach, where my family is mostly from.

He heard someone crying and screaming really loudly,

and he searched the beach.

And he, all of a sudden,

found a mermaid washed up.

And he picked her up and rescued her, nursed her.

And took her back to the beach where he found her.

And she blessed him for taking care of her, she swam off.

And that's why I feel like I am…

I don't "feel like." I know I am the blessing from her.

And that's why I feel like I'm a descendant.

And now I'm the family mermaid.

-Hello! -Happy birthday!

Happy birthday, Mama!

Hello!

-[mother] Hi! -How you doing?

-I love you! -[mother] Love you too.

What's up! What's up! What's up! What's up!

What's up!

Daddy! Good seeing you. Good seeing you. [laughs]

[mother] I don't need no candles setting my house on fire.

[laughter]

-[Blix] All right, y'all. -Hey!

One, two, three…

♪ Happy birthday to you-- ♪

-[mother] Oh no! Uh-uh! -We can't do that one.

♪ How old are you? ♪

I am… [mumbles]

[cheers and laughter]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

[Blix] My mom was definitely the average, Black,

churchgoing Christian mom.

I grew up around church, family, gospel music playing every Sunday.

Being down south in Charleston, it's very conservative.

The first time I remember hearing a preacher

be very loud and upset about homosexuality,

it struck a chord in me, 'cause I knew then I was different.

I just didn't know what it was.

But then to hear such anger

and such rage about someone being who they are

and not causing any harm

really put a bad taste in my mouth.

So this is my childhood room.

I had dolls all over four walls,

I had mermaids everywhere,

I had seaweed dangling.

I had mermaid dolls on the dresser everywhere.

My parents,

they were hard on me.

They were hard, and it was because I was gay,

and it was because of the mermaids and the dolls.

One day, my mom and dad were mad at me,

and my mom knocked all my dolls off the dresser,

my dad was helping her.

I cried. I cried like a baby.

When I had those rough times as a kid, I would go in my room,

watching mermaid videos, drawing mermaids.

But anything mermaid-related kept me going.

All the negative built me up for all the good mermaid stuff

that the universe had for me.

And I realized the universe put me through all that

'cause it knew… I was strong enough to go through it.

-[Eric] We've a line of people out front. -Yeah.

Good morning, fish friends! How are we doing? Come on in!

Good morning. Hey, little mermaids.

How we doing? I love your shirt.

That is awesome.

Hey, little mermaid.

How are we?

Good morning. Good morning.

I'm gonna swim past ya.

From the minute people come in and then trying to move them through,

it's kind of like full ballet.

Hey, friends, can we all pretend like we're cuttlefish and get close

to our friends and family so we can make more room on the benches for people?

Oh, what's that? What's that up there?

[announcer] Good morning and welcome to Mertailor's Mermaid Aquarium Encounter.

We are so happy to have you here.

[enchanting music playing]

[Candy] It's a magical place to visit.

But there is nothing easy about the business that we operate.

He has basically leveraged everything that he owns.

Remortgaging and additional mortgages on his home

were absolutely necessary.

He's willing to take that risk to make this dream come true.

[audience applauding]

[Tristan] She's probably my favorite, which is Sapphire.

Yeah, she's from the West Coast. Um, she's got blue spots.

Hey, buddy, how's it going?

The owner, Mertailor?

He's looking at growing and getting bigger tanks.

We have two new tanks in back we haven't brought up yet.

Next time y'all come, this place is going to be bigger and better.

Every time. I promise you that.

Last week, boss told me… He comes up to me, and he goes,

"I know you want to be a performer."

And he goes, "I'm finding ways to make that happen."

So, I have stated more than once you have great breath control.

Yeah.

Your ballet, you're a mermaid, you wear a tail…

We just got to connect the dots.

[Eric] Barbara has trained so many people in her life.

You know, she's got a sense on whether or not somebody has the ability

to be a mermaid or underwater performer.

What you really have to remember to do,

far beyond anybody else's training,

'cause you're coming from the back door, you have to remember to breathe.

[Tristan] I can't think about my insecurities, how I'm not good enough.

All of that goes away, and I have to focus on just breathing.

And that's what I'm trying to bring into the rest of my life.

The air hose is my metaphor.

[Sparkles] I'm on a journey to find my mermaid family.

I've been saving up my tips

to go to a huge mermaid convention.

It's an opportunity for me to actually meet new mermaids,

connect with new mermaids.

[Blix] There's mermaids all over the place.

There's pods all over the place as well.

There's the Midwest pod, there's Texas pod, Cali pod,

Sacramento pod, Florida pod, New York pod.

A lot of these pods gather together and go to these mermaid conventions.

[man] Glimmer, take one, mark.

I am Meera, Queen of Atlantis.

And for this particular event,

I have assembled a pirate crew.

I'm Marlayna Sereya.

I'm a 700-year-old siren of the seven seas,

and I am the Dexter of the ocean.

I finished this a week or two ago,

and then this is what I call an aqua-dron.

Echo is charismatic, she's funny, she's a little bit ditsy,

she's innocent, and she is this part of myself that I am

maybe leaving behind.

And I look to be an ambassador

that can easily go between land and sea.

Because I can speak human and I can speak fish,

and I can go back and forth, then we can all live in harmony.

So that's my bigger goal.

[bubbles roiling]

[Sparkles] I can't afford to go to every mermaid audition.

But I have been desperately saving up to go to Morgana's MerMagic Con,

which is the mermaid convention that she organizes every year.

And this year there's actually a showcase to showcase our talents.

I've got a two-minute slot to perform.

Morgana is going to be watching,

and other huge people that I just look up to so much.

I want them to see how far I've come.

Because I auditioned for Morgana a few years ago and blew it.

Bombed it.

And Morgana said to me…

[chuckles]

Eh, she said, "You're not ready."

And, um…

[emotionally] Hoo!

Ooh, it got me.

You know, I… I took it really hard.

I was very… very disappointed in myself.

[exhales tearfully]

So I cannot let that happen again.

And I won't let that happen again.

[inhales sharply]

[machine sputtering]

["Only Me in Sight" by 5 Alarm playing]

♪ Can't nobody do me like me ♪

[singer vocalizing]

♪ Mama said I ain't from round here ♪

♪ That I'm God's gift to the Earth ♪

♪ I was born cool on accident Can't no one match my worth ♪

-♪ Yeah ♪ -♪ I'm flashy like a diamond ♪

♪ Got a physique of solid gold ♪

♪ The way I move is timeless I'll captivate your soul ♪

♪ Look at me, look at me ♪

♪ I'm the flyest VIP ♪

♪ Red carpets everywhere I go I'm in the perfect dream ♪

♪ Wannabe, wannabe ♪

♪ Eyes are full of jealousy ♪

♪ You can count your lucky stars And never shine as bright as me ♪

MerMagic Con, I'm coming for you.

[Abby] Hey, everybody, it's Abby, your everyday mermaid,

and I'm with the queen of MerMagic Con…

-[singsong] Morgana! -Hi!

[Morgana] I think it's probably the densest concentration

of mermaid industry knowledge probably ever assembled.

We want it to be a place where mermaids can safely come and feel supported.

We have people from all walks of life.

We have mermaids showing up that are stay-at-home moms, that are CEOs.

And they're all coming together.

And it's gonna be an incredible event for people from all backgrounds.

So, in the mermaid world, we have our own vocabulary.

There's mermazing.

Fintastic.

Splashy.

Turtley.

Dolphinately.

For shore.

[laughing] Um…

Sea you later.

All whale.

[laughs]

Shello!

And they be like, "Huh?"

I be like, "Shello. Call me on my shell phone."

[laughs]

[overlapping chatter]

Go, seaster! Go, seaster, go!

Now I'm having a hard time getting out of character.

-[Blix] Right. -Because I went in too deep.

-[man] Do you make these? Who makes these? -Yeah. I made this one.

-My little Mini Me. [laughs] -[man] Oh!

That is perfection.

[cheering]

All right, we have a really exciting announcement for you.

This year we invited more mermaids than ever before,

and it is the biggest MerMagic Con on record.

[all cheering]

You guys know we love to bring you surprises.

We have a brand-new product from Mertailor.

[mermaid] Yeah!

[cheering]

Who could not be here 'cause he's got his big aquarium he's working with.

[cheering]

And finally, for those of you who are in the showcase later today,

you have two minutes for your performance time.

You have two minutes to show us what you've got.

Ready?

Three,

two,

one…

Drop! Go!

[enchanting music plays]

[music ends]

All right, guys, we're about to start the afternoon showcase.

You're gonna have two minutes to show us what you got. All right?

[pensive music playing]

You can tell a lot in two minutes.

I'm always looking for mermaids who can turn my head without even trying.

I have hired Circus Siren Pod members from scoping new talent at MerMagic Con.

But I'm a little difficult to please.

Her fin could be higher on the duck dive.

You need to have clean lines,

you need to swim beautifully, gracefully, like you're made for that water.

And above all else,

can you make me believe you really are this magical creature?

Oh, she gives great underwater face. That was straight into the camera.

Breathing out through the nose we gotta work on,

'cause it's a rush of bubbles when she surfaces.

All right, Chè's up.

All right, here we go. Here we go.

She doesn't get stiff in the water.

A lot of people do because that very mammalian fear sinks in.

[Sparkles] My biggest fear…

is disappointing Morgana.

[Morgana] Sparkles?

Are you ready?

[gentle, soaring music plays]

[Morgana gasps]

Sparkles!

Oh my God!

Look at how slow she is.

Yes. Beautiful, slow…

Oh, it's like she's in slow motion. It's fantastic.

[gasps softly]

Oh my God.

I'm honestly blown away.

Like, this is not the same performer I saw four years ago.

I am shocked.

[soaring music builds intensity]

She's dead-on. Look at that.

She's had the best connection with her audience

of anyone I've seen today.

Oh, her arms are so nice and smooth.

Absolutely fantastic. That was…

[mermaids cheering]

Will you come here for me?

Will you come here?

Sweetie, you are unrecognizable.

You are not the same performer I saw four years ago. I was…

I literally did not have a critique.

That was incredible.

Incredible. The skill was there. The talent was there.

You looked so at ease, so comfortable. Like you were home, like a real mermaid.

That was incredible.

[Sparkles crying]

-Oh, sweetie. -I practiced.

What I am most impressed by is that you had such a hard time in 2019,

and you came back, and you kicked ass.

Not a lot of people do that.

Some people have one rough audition, and it kills it for them.

And the fact that you improved and came back takes so much bravery

and so much strength.

Your performance was incredible, but that…

That's what tells me you're gonna make it in the industry.

This is, like, the most incredible moment of my entire life.

[grunts]

-Hi. [sighs] -Hi.

-No dead mermaids. -No dead mermaids.

-Thank you, Morgana. -Thank you. That was incredible to watch.

[breathing deeply]

♪ Sometimes we're standing In the distance ♪

♪ Sometimes we're lost out in the dark ♪

[overlapping chatter]

♪ We need to rise up like the phoenix ♪

♪ We need to find what's in our heart ♪

♪ Oh, stand beside me ♪

So you can hear me.

♪ Oh, stand your ground ♪

[Barbara] Breathe, my love, breathe.

♪ And rise ♪

♪ Rise up to the power inside ♪

♪ Take it to the top of the ride ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna stop us Believe in me ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ Look into your heart and you'll find ♪

♪ Bursting out with color So pure and bright ♪

♪ Rise high, high ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ Rise ♪

♪ Shine ♪

[singer vocalizing]

♪ Shine ♪

♪ Rise ♪

-[song ends] -[dogs barking]

[Sparkles] Buskie?

-[cat meows] -[line ringing]

[cat purring]

[line ringing]

[laptop chimes]

Hey, Sparkles. How are you doing?

I'm doing well. How are you?

I'm so excited to be calling you.

How would you like to be a guest performer with us in Las Vegas?

[chuckling] What?

Pack your tail, sweetie.

[upbeat jazzy hip-hop tune playing]

[song fades out]