Original subtitles

The night in paradise.

It's been a Scotcher this week.

Watch this.

So get ready for a blistering

collection of unseen action from the

last seven days in Mallorca's hottest villa.

So smother yourself in sun lotion.

And get ready for an hour of sizzling

unseen snippets.

So stay hydrated, keep it cool, and get

down with the moves,

because this is your weekly fix of fun

in the sun.

Get ready, brace yourself.

This is Love Island Unseen Bits.

Ta-da!

This week has seen drama in paradise

bombshell See definitely open Must stop

am I a mug?

What do you be treating me like some

option tears?

And tantrums.

You're a clown, bro.

You're a dickhead.

We saw huge fades to black.

And a voice over echo.

I did that.

But there was another alternative

reality which our islanders shifted into.

An unseen dream-like existence.

Basically, you have to just lay down.

I do it like this.

I just lay down like this.

Then don't move for time and then your

body will start itching.

Ignore all the itches and all the

sensations in your body.

Don't move a muscle.

After 15 minutes, you're dreaming.

You're in a dream, but you're awake and

it's mad.

All right, Tyreke, let's give it a go.

Pinch yourself, people, it worked.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Welcome to the dreamy world of Love

Island Unseen Bits.

As always, we're bringing you the

finest unseen footage of the week.

That is the coldest chanche, guys.

With good bads only around here, do you

know what I mean?

It's all very tongue-in-cheek.

I don't think anyone's asked you how

you're doing.

So how are you doing?

So let's really liven ourselves up with

an hour of explosive unseen action like this.

What?

Whoa, whoa, I put mental in it.

Hold on tight For one hell of a trip

Remember way back when George was still

in the villa Nah, I mean either the boy

I would like to couple up with is at

the recoupling It all came down to

Whitney and who she would choo-choo

choose See, railway comedy, even on

unseen bits.

Whitney had plenty of support from all

the girls.

You OK?

Yeah.

I guess they realised that one day the

shoe would be on the other foot.

Oh!

Which, for Jess, might not be a bad thing.

Girls, girls.

I got you, bro.

George thought it was all a bit pants.

In memory of me, someone wear these briefs.

I'll wear them, innit?

I'll wear them.

Wear these briefs.

That's where it goes, bro.

In memory of George, that's exactly

where it goes.

Oi, I get a free suitcase and an

arse-water bottle, though.

What a haul.

Don't leave anything behind, George.

George, your bottle.

Guys, let him know about his bottle.

No, he's going to get thirsty on the

plane home now.

With the exception of Scottish, French

is widely considered a go-to language

of love.

So it was just a matter of time before

Mehdi broached the subject of Jessie's

French oral.

I'm good in French.

It's...

I'm good in French, it's like...

Je veux bien.

Or ça va.

Yes, ça va.

I get that.

OK.

You look sexy.

I think you look sexy is like an

understatement for you.

Oh, thank you.

But it's like, tu es très sexy.

Tu es très sexy.

But what I need to teach you is...

You ready?

Yeah.

J'éteins le four après l'avoir utilisé.

Bloody!

Yes.

Go again.

J'éteins le four.

J'y retourne.

J'éteins le four.

J'éteins la four.

Après.

L'avoir.

Utiliser.

Utiliser.

Yeah.

Ooh, that sounds sexy when you say utiliser.

Utiliser.

And what does that mean?

I turn off the oven after I use it.

SHE LAUGHS Now, Jess, you're on fire!

We like to educate as well as inform an

unseen bit, so anyone wondering what a

Sheffield is, this one's for you.

Where's he from again?

Sheffield.

Where?

Sheffield.

What even is Sheffield?

It's a city.

It's out of Yorkshire.

Don't you know that?

It's in Yorkshire!

That makes sense.

That's why we drink Yorkshire tea.

That's why we drink Yorkshire tea.

Yorkshire tea.

Yorkshire tea.

That's why I got that, you know.

That's why I got that, you know.

She said, that's so good.

That sounds so good.

Carry on, though.

Carry on now.

I said, though.

Say, I'm gonna go to the shop.

I'm gonna go to the shop.

Gonna go to the toilet.

I'm gonna go to the toilet.

What else do we say?

Have a bath.

Have a bath.

Can I have a bath?

Why have I lost it?

It was literally Mitch.

You did nail it.

You smashed it instantly.

Try do me.

Try do me.

I can't do it.

That's an insult.

You could probably do it.

Try do me.

Try do me.

Try do me.

Try do me.

Not bad, but Mitchell, why don't you

try do me?

I don't...

I can't do Scottish accents.

Yeah, OK, you'd stick to that Yorkshire

one you're doing at the moment, Mitchell.

Mitch, do you want to come chat?

Occasionally, the dream world of Unseen

Bits ...leaks into the real world and

becomes seen on the main show.

She goes to the beanbag.

I knew I shouldn't have picked the

yellow one on the first day.

Bad luck.

Yeah.

Oh, Molly.

Nothing is sillier than believing.

How can a simple piece of garden furniture...

...cause all this drama at the denning party?

What you've done was very disrespectful.

I'm not going to apologize for what's

all happened.

Everyone was looking very blue.

I'm open to getting to know you carefully.

It was all coming apart at the seams.

Don't sit down near me, bro.

What are you on about?

Bro, you're a snake.

I'll get to the bottom of this by any

genes necessary.

It couldn't be the yellow bean bag.

Could it?

Why does everyone keep talking about a

yellow bean bag?

It's cursed.

Everyone who sat on it, it just went to shit.

Really?

This wasn't good.

Really?

Molly sat on it earlier.

What?

I don't want to talk to you.

Okay.

I have sat on that yellow bean bag.

Not the yellow bean bag.

Yeah.

We all told you not to do that.

I know.

No, I'm not having it.

You can't blame all this on a silly

joke we did on Unseen Bits.

I wouldn't mind.

It's not even a good joke.

Surely it's just a piece of soft furnishings.

Maybe there's other forces at play.

I need to delve deeper.

Denim, denim, denim party.

I'm never going to a denim party ever again.

If I get an invite to a denim party,

I'm not going.

Literally, our denim at this point is

really bad luck.

Ah, yes, of course.

All this despair is down to the double

denim demon.

Yes, Ella, put the double denim away.

Far, far away.

In this unseen bit, Ella's trying to

bend Zack into the man he could be.

This will stretch your quad like this.

You're violating.

I don't know what makes you think...

You have to.

No-one's looking.

This physically...

Yeah.

Pull it.

I'm getting cramped, bro.

You feeling it in your quad?

Pull it.

You're not doing it properly then.

Look, go like this.

I'm feeling it in my foot.

I'm also feeling cramp.

And go like this if you can.

No, fuck off.

Get the fuck out of here.

My hips don't work like I'm a guy, you know.

You've got birthing hips.

I've got stiff hips.

I need to stop that.

That clip has given a whole new meaning

to the phrase, on the pull.

In a week that saw presidents in the

docks and Prime Ministers in contempt

of Parliament, the entire world was set

alight when the viewers of Unseen Bits

were shocked and stunned by this.

I eat warm cereal.

Are you mad?

You have warm cereal?

Yes.

Who doesn't?

Everyone in the world.

And it was enough to put the entire

internet off its breakfast.

Mitch, oatmeal, brackets hot cereal, is

very popular.

Laughing emoji.

What rock are you living under?

I'm on team hashtag hot milking cereal.

Go, Katherine.

Smiling face with hearts emoji.

WTF?

Has he never eaten porridge?

Laughing emoji.

Bowling spoon emoji.

Yes, Mitchell, it's called porridge.

Surely one of Katherine's favourite

breakfast dishes.

No, I've never eaten porridge in my life.

What?

You've never had porridge?

Well, apparently, like...

You eat oats, your bum gets bigger, so

I need to start doing something.

Well, lucky for you, Jess is on hand to

pop your porridge cherry.

Cass, I've got you some porridge.

OK, if I don't like it.

Yeah, I've got you a small one.

Do you want fruits in it?

Yeah, OK.

I put some honey on it.

OK, cool.

Yeah, honey and strawberries is a nice mix.

Ooh, this is interesting.

I've never eaten this.

You guys have literally made me expand

my bubble.

You want strawberries, Cass?

You know what?

I've never eaten this, so you guys make

it for me.

So whatever you think will be us.

You like.

OK.

Is there honey in this?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You can put more on, though.

Woo, girls!

This is interesting.

You're gonna like it.

Come on, Goldilocks.

Eat up.

Count me down.

One, two, three.

What's your verdict, then, Kath?

Hurry up, there's an ad break coming.

Oh, Julie.

If you're taking back the holy...

Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits.

I put all those lightbulbs in myself,

you know.

Why?

So you can see all the unseen bits nice

and clearly.

Although luckily for you, you can't

smell them.

Oh, my God, brother Trump.

You're bogey.

Oh, my God, for the minute.

We have a good note for anything that

has snot already been in the main show.

Have I got any bogeys?

I can't really see, if I'm honest.

No.

They've got really small nostrils.

They have quite big nostrils, me.

Trust me, these guys are as clueless

about what's going on as we are.

I feel like you both feel Andrew.

I had two cheese toasts the other day.

No, I said you're feeling Andrew.

I've started to think of cheese toasts.

What are you talking about?

Jesus, you're actually killing me.

You're killing me.

What are you talking about?

I thought you said I'm feeling...

I feel like you're feeling hungry.

Once for a stack, dude, the lessen

about that, the better.

What?

Oh, I thought you said, Have you ever

been so hungry?

My mistake.

Before the break, Katherine, aka

Goldilocks, is about to try porridge

for the first time.

Cos I've never eaten porridge in my life.

So, what's the verdict?

One, two, three.

You know, you're chewing it like...

You know what?

I'm getting a bit of wheat, a bit.

I'm getting a bit of...

You know what?

It's do-able.

Do-able?

Is that it?

In this unseen bit, Whitney spots that

Jess and Sami so much reaches dizzying heights.

They're like the same person, Aileen.

Yeah, that's what I said.

They're going to get on so well.

They're like the same person.

Like, you'll be speaking to him, he's

like, -"What does that mean?" -"No, he

did, he did.

He told me Mont Blanc was a mountain.

Mont Blanc is a designer brand.

I don't know what Mont Blanc is.

A designer, huh?

Well, it is a mountain, isn't it?

Mountain, Mont.

Mount.

I don't fucking know.

I think it is a mountain.

I swear there was, like, a mountain

called Montenegro.

No.

No.

Mont Blanc.

That's fucking designer brand.

That's a mountain.

No, but it ain't.

Mont Blanc is a fucking perfume.

I'm sure it is.

I know where it is, it's in Chamonix,

it's in France.

Everyone knows the smartest mountain in

the world is Mount Cleverest.

I look surprised when the producer

first showed me this next clip, unlike

Zak, who will probably look surprised

for the next eight weeks after this.

Oh, my God.

I'm firmly in it, come on.

Oh, shit.

Aw, it looks fucking good.

Sweat it down.

No, it looks good.

Who had done this one?

Why is this side worse?

How often do you look good?

SHE LAUGHS Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Sit up, I need to see you.

Look at me.

Yeah.

New man vibes.

Mm-hm.

He's giving fleeky.

He's giving fleeky.

He's giving fleeky.

My eyebrows hurt, man.

Poor Zach looks brow-beaten after that.

Earlier, we saw Mehdi running the girls

through their Love Island French vocab

and not content with just sharing the

lexicon of love with the girls.

He's squeezing a quick lesson before petit-déjeuner.

See, I've still got it.

Mehdi?

How you feeling?

Comment ça?

Comment ça va?

Ça va, tranquille.

Ça va très bien.

Ça va, ça va.

Comme ci, comme ça.

Ça va.

Ça va.

Quinde bueno.

Quinde bueno?

Quinde bueno.

Don't run out of things to say, bro.

It's too early for stuff like this to

be happening.

Agreed.

I'm definitely a coffee-first kind of guy.

Thanks to budget cuts, the Islanders'

food budget has been slashed, being the

only to get fed once a week in an item

we call Dishy Dates.

And here are some unseen clips.

Realistically, I ain't even got a clue

how to use this oven.

Tyreek was mystified by what got in his

veggie noodles.

What do I put in veggie stir fry, Amanda?

Vegetables.

Vegetables, bro.

Bro, stop fucking with me, Mitch.

Zach was hoping his salmon would get

Charlotte spicy.

Am I putting curry powder on?

I'm violating if I do that.

No, it's not curry powder.

Do you not think?

Even I know that's not...

It might bang.

Is this not, Mick?

I don't know, I just can't speak Spanish.

All of these are in Spanish.

What's that jam that's deserting?

Mitch was busy removing the scallops' bollocks.

Bro, do you know this bit here?

Testicles.

I'm sure it is.

I'm sure it's like the testicles.

It's a ballsy choice, especially when

Zak is more interested in the

presentation of his muscles.

When they come out, shall I just be like...

Just like, cooking like this.

Yeah, bro, I'm just cooking like...

If they don't see you, no, bro, they're

going to see my arms and be like,

you're small, and I'll be like...

Like this.

Dinner is served.

It's better, isn't it?

Dinner is served.

And it was time for the boys to feast

their eyes on their two new dinner guests.

Hi, boys!

Let's hope Mitch's castrati crustaceans

are to their liking and pray they don't

ask for cockles.

What's that, by the way?

That?

Scarlet.

It's a bit hard, but I'm hungry, so...

Yeah.

Thank you.

I eat a lot of pasta, though.

Do you like pasta?

I feel like pasta's probably the best

thing on the planet.

Turn down.

How's your tender, moist, oven-baked

salmon coming along?

Oh, shit, bro!

OK, what have we got here, then?

Salmon.

Salmon and sweet potato.

Oh, lovely!

So, you're not really a chef?

Not much, actually.

No.

Oh, God.

I like a man who can cook, so...

Am I wrong?

Oh, well...

Well, I'm going down.

Yeah, that's me done.

On to that very fancy dessert of

rock-hard chocolate strawberries and

whipped cream, served in the gob.

I can't believe it does.

Is this, so is this melted?

No.

So how do we like, do we like, it's

like one of them smash things, isn't it?

It's one of them where I didn't think

this one through, I just thought it

looks nice in there.

Do you know what?

You've done a really good job on this day.

This is a 10.

No, I can't do that whole thing little

raspberry raspberry.

Yeah, this is the real taste test, okay

All right, I made these myself.

Yeah, you farm these yourself.

Yeah, okay.

That's it is far me So what you're

tasting right now do you think That

tastes like a good day.

This is a good that tastes like a

really good day Mmm, everyone loves

that tasty dates Domestic duties

deserve thanks, and in this unseen bit,

Mehdi gets more than he could have

hoped for.

Thank you so much.

After, I'm going to give you the best

hug ever.

OK.

As in, this hug is serious.

Like, I'm being so dead-ass.

OK.

It's a good hug.

OK.

Yeah, get ready, brace yourself, quick

jog, like...

SHE EXHALES SHE LAUGHS Bring it up.

You want to jump?

No.

You got to stretch it all the time.

Was that good?

It was perfect, very gentle.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

I like that.

More hugging for scrubbing, I say.

Here is an unseen clip of all the girls

once again in the dressing room putting

on their make-up, curling their hair.

But what happened next?

Come back after the break to find out.

Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits.

We're at the after party to the main

show's big event.

Three, two, one, go.

We got the movers, the shakers...

and surprise guests.

It's flippin' crazy.

Go on then.

No!

So kick back and relax as we immerse

you in a missable unseen footage.

Before the break we were in the

dressing room with the girls waiting

for something to happen.

It was the can before the...

Yeah, that was me that time.

You saw that?

No.

What?!

Jess, the air-con is westing it my way!

Jess, I think you need to go to the toilet.

It's air, it's pure air.

Jess has already been signed up for a

new West End theatre production of Lady

and the Trump.

Oh, hang on, we've missed out on an

unseen bit.

Leah and Charlotte weren't the only new

arrivals during this very dramatic,

dishy date.

Oh, for bed!

Ooh!

Shh!

Ow!

What the fuck?

Don't pull my hair.

Yes, it's...

Islanders get scared by something!

As long as you don't talk, my love.

Ah!

Um...

I'm going to be able to get to know

whatever woman I can, where this is

going, and obviously what we have is strong.

Like, I don't know if there's something

there, blah, blah, blah.

So...

No!

That thing was fucking bugging in my ear.

It's gone, it's gone, it's gone.

It actually touched me.

You all right?

Yeah.

It's a little baby.

You're going to be a farm girl.

No.

You're scared of a butterfly?

I'm not.

I'm actually scared of butterflies.

Butterflies and spiders.

I'm scared of sharks and crocodiles.

Yeah, but that's a given.

Well, you don't seem to see them, though.

I do, if I can see.

Though, if I can't see what's under

there, that's scary.

You can never see what's under there.

Yeah, you can.

In the shallow bit.

My mum said you should not go swimming

in the sea for an hour after you've

eaten, but she also says flies can't

watch TV, so I wouldn't trust that woman.

It's breathy, it's romantic, it's full

of throaty sounds.

Could anything be sexier than a

Frenchman speaking French?

How about a Londoner trying to learn?

Let's start basics.

OK, we're going to start with eat,

sleep, crackon, repeat.

Eat is manger.

Manger.

Sleep, dormir.

Dormir.

Crackon, crackon.

Croissant.

Croissant.

So, manger, dormir, croissant, repeat.

Repeat.

Manger, dormir, croissant, repeat.

Repeat, yeah.

OK, Martin.

Manger, dimions.

Bonialli, dormir.

Croissantay.

Yes.

Is it actually that?

Yeah, yeah.

It's the same as the croissant that you eat.

So, manger, dormir, croissant, repeat.

OK.

Manger, croissant, repeat.

Yes.

Manger, croquant.

Yeah.

Um...

Dormir.

Yeah.

Repeat.

Yeah.

Hey!

Ah!

Ah!

Fucking hell, Jess!

No, we're not doing any more, Islanders.

Get scared.

Bugs, get back in your homes.

They're a friendly welcoming bunch, our

islanders, always ready to get to know

each other with little unseen chats

like this.

Have you got hicks or not?

Yeah.

Like what?

Tell me something.

I don't like top knots.

Is that what it's called?

When guys have big hair and they have

really long hair.

I've got quite a long hair, quite a lot.

Yeah but it's not that long.

It's not.

Fancy dress.

I don't like guys who do fancy dress.

But something sexy...

What if you're going to have fancy

dress for, like, 80 or more?

Yeah, something sexy, but not, like...

Oh, God, like a ghost, or, like,

wearing, like, a sheet or something.

Something sexy is fine, but I just

don't like fancy dress or, like, a

toast or, like, a tampon.

What do you mean, a toast?

Like, I've seen someone before and they

had, like, a toast hat for...

Oh, look, I thought you meant, like,

giving a toast, like, a speech or something.

No, I just don't like fancy dress.

It just, yeah, makes me cringe.

Um...

I love fancy dress.

That's true.

Sammy actually wanted to arrive in the

villa as a massive slice of toast.

He thought it would be a good way to

butter up the islanders.

Early in the week, Mehdi and Whitney

went on their first date.

Look at us!

Oh, the frogs are fucking...

After watching the show, David

Attenborough contacted Love Island

bosses personally demanded the return

of an unseen bits classic,

Planet Love.

In the heart of the arid Majorcan

countryside an oasis has been

discovered which has become the mating

ground of a rare and wonderful species

of frog.

Sorry David we need to interrupt your

natural history program as we have some

unseen clips of We eat frogs sometimes,

they're nice, but I hate them, they

scare me so much.

Why?

Because I went on a trip once, to the

Caribbean, and there was like a frog

invasion in the house, and since then

I'm scared.

But do they actually attack you?

No, but they jump everywhere, when you

try to wipe them away, they just jump,

jump, jump.

They're cute though.

They're small and they're cute.

If you want a frog, I'll go get it for you.

You are not a man of your words.

You know I am, so please...

Actually, no, cos you still haven't

made me breakfast, and it's been, like, days.

Winnie, you come down at, like, in the afternoon.

You don't come in the morning.

I can't make you breakfast.

You're so late all the time.

I'm surprised you arrived on time for

this date, though.

Oh, my God, all the girls were helping me.

Like, I had, like, three people in my

hair, and someone picking my clothes, like...

You had the whole staff for you.

Literally!

What?

Have some cheese.

To represent France.

Yeah, I love cheese.

You love fromage.

What's that?

Cheese.

What's it?

Fromage.

Fromage.

Fromage.

Oh, glad to see you two appear to be in tandem.

OK, wait.

Now, get on your bike and back to the villa.

Yeah, I think it's romantic, isn't it?

It's giving French.

Yeah, it's giving French.

OK, now we're going to crash.

We're going to have some wine.

We're going to crash.

We're not, look.

No, no, no!

If we make a joke about Mehdi and

Whitney's bike ride twice, is that

called recycling or is it just a chain reaction?

The second one's considerably worse.

How are you feeling anyway about your

date yesterday, was it nice?

Yeah, the date was great, to be honest.

You went on a bike, yeah, a tricycle,

wasn't it?

Yeah, no, a tricycle is like three

wheels, I think.

What's it called?

Double back.

Yeah, but it's actually called a word.

In French, it's stand-in.

I don't know in English, though.

What is that called?

I don't know, I don't know.

Not a tricycle, though.

If I can't...

What's the name of the bike with two...

Tricycle!

That's what I said, isn't it?

Oh, see?

Oh, group of...

No, but a tricycle's trow, which means three.

Yeah.

Leah, what's the name of the bike with,

like, two people on?

The what?

The name of the bike with two people on?

They haven't...

The double bike?

That's what I said, it's a double bike.

It's not!

What's it called?

Oh, that's going to have me now.

What can I say?

I'm just a big fan of dem random

tan-dem tan-gang.

It's been quite a foodie episode this

week, who else could make this much TV

out of people talking about porridge?

I'll tell you who, Unseen Bits, that's who!

Did you like porridge?

Yeah, it was nice.

It was genuinely really nice.

It tastes better with a naa naa.

Naa naa.

I'd have both.

I'm not sure we have a naa naa.

We'll make porridge together, so then

you can show me, and then I'll make for you.

No, you're making me French omelette tomorrow.

That's me sick.

French omelette.

I love cooking.

It's fun.

And, erm, cheese.

Do you like cheese?

Yeah.

I love cheese.

What, is there cheese in the French omelette?

Yeah.

What's even in a French omelette?

Cheese.

Yeah, what else?

Omelette.

All right, omelette's just made out of

cheese and, erm, omelette.

Just like paella is made out of paella,

and spotty dick is made from hawa...

Hang on, I'm not reading this!

Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits.

Here, where it's much about the Larry bits...

..as the laughs.

Our philosophy is, you don't really

know a man until you've seen him with

another man's pants on his head.

Or getting brain-freezed from a chalk ice.

Just bite that with your front teeth.

That's criminal.

I don't even fancy you anymore.

We've stolen the best scene-stealing

moments from the main show and the CCTV

from security.

So accept all cookies and pick the

square bits with lampposts because

these guys are not robots.

Unless robots eat biscuits.

In this unseen clip, our islanders take

a peek behind Sammy's brunette curtains.

Everyone playing my hair?

Oh, that's so unreal.

I feel like a little Jack Russell.

You would not be a Jack Russell.

You have a little Jack Russell.

SHE LAUGHS See that, girls?

Jess, you're so nasty.

Wait, what did she say?

You have a little Jack Russell.

How do you know?

What the hell?

SHE LAUGHS Jess is so vulgar.

What does that mean?

Oh, yeah, you lot are definitely meant

to be.

Like, you lot are definitely meant to be.

What are you getting at?

What are you getting at?

Is he dumb and dumber?

We got our Jack Russell and Uhtard when

he was six months old.

Just saying, Sammy.

Communication seems to be a bit of a

theme this week, and in this unseen

bit, Catherine and Andre are learning

that it ain't what you say, it's the

way that you say it.

If I want to say, the tree is green, OK?

I'd say the tree is green.

Oh, you see, right there is a very,

very beautiful tree, like...

Mm, I agree.

Like...

The branches, it's just so full, like...

Yeah, absolutely.

You know what, like, I love how they're

calm, like...

Mm.

It's very beautiful.

It's a very beautiful tree.

Like, the colour green is very nice, yeah.

And what colour is the tree?

I like the colour green, yeah.

What colour is the tree?

Yeah.

So, that's how you would say the tree

is green.

And then, can I impersonate you now?

Yeah, go ahead.

The tree is green.

The tree?

No.

Say it again.

The tree is green.

Huh?

The tree is green.

The way you say tree is just...

But yeah, OK, cool.

OK, how else do you say tree?

Tree?

Yeah, the tree is green.

OK.

Am I not saying it right?

You are.

It's just the accent.

I don't have a strong accent, I don't think.

The tree is green, it sounds like a

coded message to me.

If it turns out André and Catherine are

agents, heads are going to roll in the

casting department.

When it comes to allowing a new lingo,

sometimes less is more.

Or should I say French lesson?

Mehdi, over to you, pal.

I will teach you...

I think we've got to go one word at a

time, then I'll remember.

With someone like you, yeah, I think

one word...

Yeah, one word at a time, honestly.

One word a week?

Literally.

That would be even better.

Yeah, I think so.

That means you've got a lot of weeks

ahead of us.

To wit to woo!

Well, hopefully we can come back next

week with a word.

Knowing that Gareth Southgate is a

superfan of Love Island, I turned

talent Scott this week.

And with the 2023 Women's World Cup in

their sights, the girls were keen to

show off their footballing prowess.

In the challenge, she's a keeper.

Hey, boys, keepy-uppy.

All I do is win, win, win, no matter

what The girls used their skills to

decide which boy should stay on the bench.

I'm gonna give the red card to Mitch.

And why?

Because he's given me the most drama.

Let me stay there They then played

goalie and got to smooch their man of

the match.

You don't get that in the Premier League.

That's crazy.

Whilst the boys picked up their number

one sexiest keeper.

Jess.

Woo!

But the whistle went early and

everything blew up.

You will go on a date tonight with a

real footballer, Scott.

Baby, I'm going on a date.

But at the post-match pre-date debrief,

the most important thing on the girls'

minds was...

I don't feel like this is going to be a

full dinner.

I think it's going to be nibbles, so eat.

Because they're not going to give you a

full meal.

Sometimes they bring out, ooh, Maybe a pasta.

Yeah, but even like you're not gonna

eat in front of a guy, like, you'll be

looking at food like, I'm not hungry.

Don't worry, girls, we really go to

town on these dates.

No expense was spared and with the

transfer window open, goalkeeper Scott

headed down the tunnel to the ground.

We even splashed out on classy bubbles.

What is this, by the way?

Prosecco?

Do you know what, I have no idea.

I poured it for you and it tastes nice, so.

Thank you.

There was a bucketload of olives,

which, as we know, wasn't to Jessie's liking.

Do you like olives?

No, not particularly.

No, I don't, do I?

Can someone take the olives away?

No, I'm joking.

I'm joking.

So that's me eating nothing but olives

for the next six weeks.

Were Jess and Scott going to be our

match of the day?

Well, here are the Extra Time Unseen highlights.

The challenge that you did today.

I can't even tell you what happened

because it was so embarrassing.

I want to hear it, tell me all about it.

I'm going to find out either way.

Yeah, you'll find out.

So basically, we had to do a little dribble.

The funniest part was me thinking,

yeah, I'm going to show off, like, I

know how to do a rainbow flick, isn't it?

Oh, no!

Anyway, so I've done the rainbow flick.

I flipped the ball, was amazing, like, great.

And because it was all slippery on the

floor, I've gone straight over.

Straight over on my arse.

I was going for it, I got women of the match.

Listen, you've got to take it, and

you're here now, so you can't complain, really.

And have you been doing football your

whole life?

My whole life, yeah.

I've never done anything different.

What position do you play?

Well, you're not put together.

Where were you today?

Oh, you're a goalkeeper.

All right, fair enough.

Yeah, so, you know, good with the hands.

That's it!

The full-time whistler's blown!

Get them back in that villa quick

before they start asking too many

questions about the Cheap Prosecco.

Tireek might be a footballer in the

outside world, but he clearly has

ambitions to be a quiz show host.

Bradley Walsh, if you're watching, be afraid!

Be very afraid.

Quick fire game, you know?

I'm gonna give you two options.

You've got to team two things and

you've got to choose which one you like.

Cool, you know?

Shower or bath?

Shower.

Ketchup or mayo?

Mayo.

Yeah.

Would you rather be too cold or too hot

to freshen up?

Too hot.

Black or white?

Black.

Black.

Come on, make them a bit juicier.

Er...

Missionary hot doggy.

That took a quick turn.

You're a bit of a juicier, aren't you?

Erm...

Missionary.

Yeah, you've got to put your face up in

front of missionaries.

Missionaries are a myth, though, man.

Why?

Put it in work.

I don't mind putting it in work, but,

you know, sometimes a missionary will

bust in five seconds and it's crazy.

Three strokes and you're out.

Can I take this opportunity to

apologise to any missionaries watching

And also, anyone watching with their doggies.

Get ready, folks, because you've

guessed it.

It's...

Mechop the Nanza!

And this week, I asked our islanders,

what's your party trick?

What does that mean?

Oh, yes!

Oh, God!

I've got a deep voice.

Like, I can really go deep.

The night in paradise.

in it can crack my hands I will not

burp I will not burp never don't even

ask me how I knew how I learned to do

that or how I knew I could do it that's

my Test.

That's it.

I can't even do it properly.

Looks like a frog.

You know, gleeking.

It shoots out like an artillery of saliva.

I know that sounds disgusting.

I don't know if you've caught that.

I can touch my thumb to my arm.

Wow!

I can't even get my face near to it.

Let the games begin, dun-dun-dun.

It's quite creepy.

I've got a monkey on my bum, look at that.

People seem to love it at parties.

I'll call Martin Barry because I don't

know how he looks like a Barry to me.

I can belly-dive.

Was that any good?

That is!

That's it.

Come back next week for some more...

Me job in Anza!

Hey, Mitch, come back.

Before we go, do you remember this?

Oh, have you seen this?

So look at this.

This is my birthmark.

And it looks like a dog smiling with a

white bum.

A dog smiling with a white bum.

I can see the dog, yeah.

I've been sending the internet into

overdrive looking for a smiley dog with

a white bum birthmark.

Right.

So Mitch, show us your smiley dog with

a white bum birthmark.

Right, so I've got a birthmark, which

I've had all my life, because it's a birthmark.

Looks like a dog smiling with a white

bum, just giving it a cheeky wave, if

you can see.

That looks more like what comes out of

a smiley dog's white bum.

As long as you're proud of it, you do you.

See you all next time.

Bye!

There really is never a dull moment, is there?

Right, if you haven't seen this yet,

it's the story of Alan Carr.

ITVX, right now, it's changing ends.

Here next, then, Lois gets a brand new job.

We'll find out what that is, we're

still a family, guys.

Thanks for watching!