Original subtitles

Kamikaze is a fictional story about loss, grief and rediscovery.

If you are dealing with mental health issues

or experiencing suicidal feelings,

speak to someone you trust or contact a helpline.

When I was born dad was in an important meeting.

In five years we've dropped about 40%. I think that's a lot.

This indicates a change in behaviour.

Although he went on as fast as he could...

I arrived before him.

Today is Julie's birthday Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah

Birthdays were a big thing in our family.

Dad said it was about taking a break and doing your best.

Dad died at 54.

Mum at 46.

Tom at 23.

I don't have a lot to celebrate now.

I have celebrated my last birthday.

Can you escape your birthday if you run fast enough?

You can definitely run yourself to death.

It's not difficult at all.

Even young, healthy people die occasionally

from pushing their bodies too hard.

Lack of sleep, food and drink combined with a fast heart rate

and pushing the body to its limits

brings about a total collapse.

Alfie, wake up!

His grieving has stopped.

Kitta was dad's colleague. A brilliant criminal lawyer

and a former police prosecutor in her prime and an active runner.

She ran one marathon after the other.

She ran to work and in the woods in her spare time.

The autopsy established that Kitta's heart was huge.

The size of an ox heart.

Her worries must have been equally big, but dad never mentioned them.

It's ages since we've seen your father here. No more business in London?

- No, not really. - Say hello to him from me, will you?

Dad always stayed at the same hotel in London

and ran the same route every morning.

- Morning, Julie. - Morning.

It's day five and I haven't eaten in five days.

I have had nothing to drink for ten hours.

Exhaustion is a condition that can kill you.

Just like hunger and thirst.

The extreme conditions your body is exposed to

cause your vital organs to fail.

In the end...

Liver, stomach...

You die.

My dad and I go all in.

Always.

Listen up.

What do you say? It's past 11 o'clock.

- Let's go. - Yes.

- Can we skip it today? - Tom, you are so lazy.

Come on.

Come on!

Yes, all right. You got it? Great!

Fuck!

Are you dead?

Not yet.

We deliver.

We deliver.

We deliver.

We are focused. We never quit.

Julie?

- Renate? - Hi.

- Where is Tom? - They went ahead to the restaurant.

Sunday lunch.

Has he made an appointment to get his vaccinations?

- Vaccinations? - Yes.

For Guatemala.

In a month.

For six months.

- I got an "artist residency". - Congratulations. Cool.

Six months.

What about his exams?

He better explain that himself.

- Let me find him. - Sure. See you.

See you.

What did Renate say?

That she and Tom are going to Guatemala for six months.

To realise their art.

I am really trying to understand this equation of yours.

In your head.

You're throwing away your entire future

just to get six months in Guatemala with Renate.

Dad, life is not an equation.

But are you a musician? Do you want to become one?

- Playing music makes me happy. - Sure, I understand that.

My son...

You're not a musician.

You come from a family with traditions.

You should carry them with you. Be proud of and grateful for them.

We keep the wheels turning. We are the backbone of society.

Look at me!

Another thing that characterizes our family is that we are focused.

We don't give up. We deliver.

If you don't care about your education you won't get one.

It's that simple.

I'll be by your side, Tom. I'll help you, Tom. Damn it!

What do you say? Are we agreed?

Tom.

Are we agreed?

Okay, then I'm going to cut off your funds.

You won't get your child trust fund until you turn 22.

I won't pay for your hippie trip to Guatemala.

I must admit I don't understand your relationship with Renate.

I understand what she can get from you, but not the other way around.

Do you think it's love?

Tom did understand.

On my 18th birthday his new law school girlfriend was invited.

After dinner everyone agreed

it was like Aja had always been a part of the family.

Cute, here you are...

- Julie at 4. - You can see that it's you.

- Yes, super cute. - There is Tom.

Where is he?

I don't know. He might be sleeping.

Now you know what your children will look like.

- Sweetie. - We will look forward to that.

We are focused.

We don't quit.

We deliver.

We deliver.

Help!

Mister?

Hello?

Don't give up.

Dad?

Dad, is it you?

- Yes, this is your dad. - Shit!

You were so young.

- We were looking at baby pictures. - We also want to see photos of you.

My Marlon Brando period. My Harley-Davidson.

An XLH 1000 1979 custom build.

- Where was it taken? - Bayham Street. London. 1984.

I was your age. 19-20.

- I loved it. - Where is it now?

I sold it.

Why?

I grew up.

My dad ran his entire life.

And I just ran along.

You run until you can't run any further. Until the heart stops.

Or until something gets in your way.

Or...

...until someone saves you.

Bye!

There you are! We thought you'd gone to bed.

No, I was just getting this.

- Are you giving a concert? - Yes.

Dear Julie. Dear sister.

There isn't enough music this evening, and...

It's your 18th birthday, so I would like to play you a song.

I don't remember having a song on my wish list.

- That's harsh. - But go ahead.

Sure, but you don't always know what you need.

You have probably had a little too much to drink.

Tom got his law degree some months later with a pretty good average.

Dad gave Tom a trip to Africa as a present.

Do you know what my problem is, dad?

That I always fucking agreed with you. But you were wrong.

You, who was always right.

You, the best and the fastest.

The winner.

Look at us now.

- Hey, Julie. Happy birthday. - Krzysztof. How did you know?

I'm drowning here in flowers and stuff people dropped off, so...

Were you in the house on my 18th birthday?

I was around, working, I think.

No, in the evening when... Tom played a song for me.

Yes. I heard. He was good.

No, it was

"This summer I went swimming, this summer I might have drowned,

but I held my head and I kicked my feet..."

Yeah, the song is called "The swimming song",

if you want to listen to it.

Okay. I'll check it out.

Where are you now and what are you doing today?

I don't know because nothing seems to go as planned.

I will start my first day as a 19 year old with a shower.

A mysterious girl by the name of Julie has saved the life of Lord Rory Merek.

Lord Merek, who could have suffered a fatal heart attack,

is now eager to track down Julie whose last name is unknown,

fled the scene shortly after saving his life in Green Park at midnight.

I hope she sees this or somebody who knows her sees this.

Acapulco's Ejido Las Pozas: "One of the world's deadliest streets!"

- Your receipt. - Thanks.

- Is Acapulco your final destination? - I really hope so.