All language subtitles for Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia 16x03 - The Gang Gets Cursed.EDITH

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,225 --> 00:00:06,052 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 2 00:00:06,076 --> 00:00:07,483 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,889 "Congratulations, Paddy's Pub. 4 00:00:08,914 --> 00:00:11,061 "We are pleased to report that we are interested in featuring 5 00:00:11,086 --> 00:00:14,225 "your bar on an upcoming episode of our show. 6 00:00:14,332 --> 00:00:16,546 "We will be sending a producer to do a walk-through soon. 7 00:00:16,570 --> 00:00:18,710 "Warmly, your friends at... 8 00:00:19,054 --> 00:00:20,122 Bar Rescue!" 9 00:00:20,147 --> 00:00:20,991 Yes! 10 00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:23,794 This is like our dreams come true, right? 11 00:00:23,819 --> 00:00:25,722 What? To be on a reality TV show? 12 00:00:25,756 --> 00:00:27,358 Yeah. Wh... How did this happen? 13 00:00:27,392 --> 00:00:28,804 I've been writing them a letter every week 14 00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:30,632 since the show first started. 15 00:00:30,666 --> 00:00:32,268 - Well, how long's it been? - Too long. 16 00:00:32,302 --> 00:00:33,681 I very much do want to be famous, 17 00:00:33,705 --> 00:00:35,217 but I don't know if I want to be on a reality show 18 00:00:35,241 --> 00:00:36,687 where they try and make us look like jerks. 19 00:00:36,711 --> 00:00:38,256 - Right. - Right. Right, yeah. 20 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,559 'Cause, like, what if they, like, edit it 21 00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:41,162 to, like, make me look stupid or something? 22 00:00:41,186 --> 00:00:43,257 Yeah. This is a definite pass for me. I'm out. 23 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:44,330 This could be huge for us. 24 00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:45,929 What are you guys talking about? 25 00:00:45,962 --> 00:00:47,508 I'm a little disappointed that you didn't tell me earlier 26 00:00:47,532 --> 00:00:48,500 because I would have been working out 27 00:00:48,534 --> 00:00:49,737 for weeks in preparation. 28 00:00:49,770 --> 00:00:51,440 I mean, for God's sakes, man. 29 00:00:51,473 --> 00:00:52,943 What if, what if my shirt falls off? 30 00:00:52,976 --> 00:00:54,914 Yeah, yeah. I'm a little off my regimen, too. 31 00:00:54,947 --> 00:00:57,091 Like, I haven't even been doing any of my workouts. 32 00:00:57,116 --> 00:00:58,387 Ever. He never has. Yeah. 33 00:00:58,420 --> 00:01:00,257 You guys are missing the bigger picture here. 34 00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:03,080 I mean, wh-what are the odds that they would pick our bar? 35 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,167 This is a million-to-one shot, 36 00:01:05,201 --> 00:01:06,914 and I've got a really good feeling about this, guys. 37 00:01:06,938 --> 00:01:09,416 Things are about to change here at Paddy's Pub 38 00:01:09,441 --> 00:01:12,315 because our luck just turned around. 39 00:01:12,348 --> 00:01:15,363 _ 40 00:01:15,387 --> 00:01:21,387 credits 41 00:01:36,581 --> 00:01:37,519 Mac, stop. 42 00:01:37,544 --> 00:01:39,277 The second I clean it up, you're making more crumbs. 43 00:01:39,302 --> 00:01:40,417 - Stop. - There should be more crumbs. 44 00:01:40,442 --> 00:01:42,035 We should put crumbs all over the goddamn bar. 45 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,363 Sorry, but, Charlie, why am I seeing so many silverfish? 46 00:01:44,388 --> 00:01:45,557 I-I don't know where they're coming from, man. 47 00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:46,751 I cannot get rid of them. 48 00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:48,277 You should not get rid of them. 49 00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:50,531 Don't you guys understand what Bar Rescue is? 50 00:01:50,558 --> 00:01:52,428 These are the exact kind of things 51 00:01:52,462 --> 00:01:55,447 that John Taffer's gonna come in and hand our asses to us about. 52 00:01:55,472 --> 00:01:56,647 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 53 00:01:56,671 --> 00:01:58,283 No, I don't... I don't want to have my ass handed to me. 54 00:01:58,307 --> 00:01:59,744 I mean, how the bar comes across is 55 00:01:59,777 --> 00:02:01,881 - a reflection of how I come across. Okay? - Yes. 56 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,259 And I, for one, don't want to be known 57 00:02:03,283 --> 00:02:05,756 as a silverfish man. Okay? 58 00:02:05,789 --> 00:02:07,434 I want to look good for the people watching 59 00:02:07,458 --> 00:02:08,714 in their... 60 00:02:09,722 --> 00:02:11,394 In their... 61 00:02:14,949 --> 00:02:16,088 What's the-the thing? 62 00:02:16,113 --> 00:02:18,197 The-the boxes that-that people live in? 63 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:19,455 You talking about their homes? 64 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,486 Y... yes, yeah. Their homes. 65 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,500 Jesus. I couldn't think of that word. That's so weird. 66 00:02:23,524 --> 00:02:25,695 Guys, we have a problem. 67 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,211 But whatever you do, don't laugh. 68 00:02:31,707 --> 00:02:33,654 - How are we not supposed to laugh at that? - I wouldn't laugh at that. 69 00:02:33,678 --> 00:02:35,056 This is not funny, all right? It's not a joke. 70 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:36,459 I don't know what's going on with my face, 71 00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:37,719 but it's broken or something. 72 00:02:37,745 --> 00:02:38,990 It's very funny. 73 00:02:39,022 --> 00:02:40,424 That's really funny. 74 00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:41,961 My egg's all bloody. 75 00:02:41,994 --> 00:02:43,998 No. No, no, no, no, no. 76 00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:45,635 This is bad, dude. 77 00:02:45,669 --> 00:02:46,914 This is the kind of stuff that starts happening 78 00:02:46,938 --> 00:02:48,608 when someone's put a curse on you. 79 00:02:48,641 --> 00:02:50,377 - Curse? What are you talking about? - What? 80 00:02:50,411 --> 00:02:51,824 Let's just stop and think for a second, okay? 81 00:02:51,849 --> 00:02:53,485 Like, Dee, did you have any run-ins 82 00:02:53,517 --> 00:02:55,822 with anyone who might have put a curse on you? 83 00:02:55,856 --> 00:02:58,327 I mean, I had a tiny little issue 84 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,950 with a neighbor last night. 85 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,801 Yes! 86 00:03:01,834 --> 00:03:05,489 Spewing my hate all over your teenage asses. 87 00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:08,347 What? 88 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:10,919 Banging the goddamn door down. What? 89 00:03:12,278 --> 00:03:13,520 Yeah. 90 00:03:13,792 --> 00:03:15,629 What? Why are you trying to break my door down 91 00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:16,864 at 3:00 in the morning? 92 00:03:16,898 --> 00:03:18,534 I baked you some brownies. 93 00:03:18,567 --> 00:03:19,544 Why you baking me shit? 94 00:03:19,569 --> 00:03:21,440 - Trying to poison me? - No. 95 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:25,456 I just wanted to kindly ask if you could keep the noise down. 96 00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,755 No. I'm so sorry. 97 00:03:28,788 --> 00:03:30,491 I didn't realize. 98 00:03:30,524 --> 00:03:32,004 - That was really sweet of you... - Yeah. 99 00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:33,463 - To bake these for me. - Yeah. 100 00:03:33,497 --> 00:03:34,776 Hey, I have something for you also. 101 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,004 - It's so nice. What is it? - Yeah. 102 00:03:37,037 --> 00:03:39,609 Well, it's a trophy. See? 103 00:03:39,643 --> 00:03:41,325 It says "Cunt of the Year." 104 00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:43,426 That's you. 105 00:03:44,987 --> 00:03:46,966 You are a nasty woman, 106 00:03:46,991 --> 00:03:50,364 and bad things are going to happen to you one day. 107 00:03:50,645 --> 00:03:52,958 I guarantee it. 108 00:03:53,397 --> 00:03:54,432 Drop dead. 109 00:03:55,508 --> 00:03:57,946 Well, there you go. It sounded like that lady cursed you. 110 00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,819 I don't know. I call old ladies cunts all the time. We all do. 111 00:04:00,852 --> 00:04:02,799 - Right. - That's true. - No, she brings up a good point. 112 00:04:02,823 --> 00:04:04,535 - We do. We do. - I called an old lady a cunt this morning. 113 00:04:04,559 --> 00:04:06,664 - See? - Did you? Yeah. - I sure did. I sure did. 114 00:04:06,697 --> 00:04:08,076 - No, I might've done it, too, actually. - Honestly, 115 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,870 for me this raises an even bigger concern. 116 00:04:09,904 --> 00:04:10,832 Okay. What's that? 117 00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:12,816 Dee had no right to give that trophy away. 118 00:04:12,841 --> 00:04:14,955 I mean, we worked very, very hard on that. 119 00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:16,817 We did. It's not easy to make. 120 00:04:16,851 --> 00:04:18,429 - Nobody wanted to do it. - Plus, she earned it, right? 121 00:04:18,453 --> 00:04:19,900 - Yeah, you earned it. - And you earned it. 122 00:04:19,924 --> 00:04:21,637 And you're just gonna give it away? I mean... 123 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:23,631 Either way, this is all bullshit anyway, 124 00:04:23,665 --> 00:04:25,945 because we're not having bad luck, we're having good luck. 125 00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:27,019 What about my egg? 126 00:04:27,044 --> 00:04:28,394 You know what that might've been? 127 00:04:28,419 --> 00:04:30,840 Y-You might've gotten cursed when you killed that seabird. 128 00:04:30,865 --> 00:04:32,858 - What seabird? - I didn't tell you guys about this? Okay. 129 00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:35,416 So, the other day, Frank's making a banana daiquiri. 130 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,458 Seagull flies right into the bar. 131 00:04:37,491 --> 00:04:38,962 - Cheers. - Yeah. Here you go. 132 00:04:39,197 --> 00:04:40,628 It's tasty. 133 00:04:41,466 --> 00:04:42,435 - Shit. - What? 134 00:04:42,468 --> 00:04:43,805 A seagull. 135 00:04:43,838 --> 00:04:44,974 Whoa. 136 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:48,840 A little birdie. 137 00:04:49,316 --> 00:04:51,553 What a sweet little birdie. 138 00:04:51,610 --> 00:04:54,269 You want some food? Want some? 139 00:04:54,593 --> 00:04:56,105 Whoa! Shit, Frank! 140 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,567 - Die! - Frank. Jesus. 141 00:04:58,601 --> 00:05:00,705 Come here, you rat, die! 142 00:05:01,511 --> 00:05:02,729 Jesus. 143 00:05:03,443 --> 00:05:05,180 Goddamn! 144 00:05:05,214 --> 00:05:08,453 And die, you fucking seagull. 145 00:05:08,487 --> 00:05:11,230 Bitch. Fucking cunt. 146 00:05:11,255 --> 00:05:14,121 Well, it's bad luck if a seabird flies into a building. 147 00:05:14,146 --> 00:05:15,902 No, dude. It's bad luck to kill a seabird. 148 00:05:15,936 --> 00:05:17,505 Every sailor knows that. 149 00:05:17,538 --> 00:05:18,597 I don't sail. 150 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:19,886 Charlie, will you stop trying to turn 151 00:05:19,910 --> 00:05:22,114 our good fortune into bad fortune? 152 00:05:22,148 --> 00:05:24,753 All this doom and gloom. Nobody is cursed. 153 00:05:24,787 --> 00:05:26,556 Really, Mac? Because I straight-up heard 154 00:05:26,591 --> 00:05:27,960 Cricket curse you yesterday. 155 00:05:28,785 --> 00:05:30,206 All right. It's time to make good 156 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:31,472 on your end of the bargain, Mac. 157 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,840 What are you talking about? I still need proof. 158 00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:34,746 Come on, man. Don't start with that. 159 00:05:34,771 --> 00:05:36,185 - We had... - Cricket, what are you doing in here, man? 160 00:05:36,209 --> 00:05:38,318 That's what I was just saying. Cricket, what are you doing in here? 161 00:05:38,343 --> 00:05:40,302 What? What-what... No, we're-we're talking business. 162 00:05:40,327 --> 00:05:42,638 Business? I'm not doing business with you, street trash. 163 00:05:42,663 --> 00:05:44,380 What is your deal, man? What-what... 164 00:05:44,405 --> 00:05:46,038 One second you need me, the next I'm a pile of garbage? 165 00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,009 - Is that what this is? - Cricket, beat it, man... 166 00:05:48,033 --> 00:05:50,080 You better beat it, or I'm gonna beat you with my shoe. 167 00:05:50,104 --> 00:05:51,148 - You know what? - Get out of the bar, dude. 168 00:05:51,172 --> 00:05:52,184 You know what? Screw you guys. 169 00:05:53,482 --> 00:05:54,813 Hey, Mac. 170 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,240 A curse on you. 171 00:05:57,084 --> 00:06:01,044 Vos omnes maledicti mille annis. 172 00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,900 I mean, he-he literally cursed you, man. 173 00:06:04,933 --> 00:06:06,178 Now, guys, come on. We got to take this seriously. 174 00:06:06,202 --> 00:06:08,173 Like, let's look at this. Like, Frank. 175 00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:09,886 Let-Let's do our homework on sailors' curses. 176 00:06:09,910 --> 00:06:12,048 Dee, Mac, go make your apologies. 177 00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:13,818 I will do nothing of the sort. 178 00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,163 In fact, I am done listening to this. 179 00:06:15,187 --> 00:06:17,158 It's irritating, anti-God, 180 00:06:17,191 --> 00:06:21,066 and most importantly will not make for good Bar Rescue banter. 181 00:06:21,099 --> 00:06:22,535 I am leaving. 182 00:06:22,568 --> 00:06:23,905 Come on, man! 183 00:06:24,169 --> 00:06:27,412 Charlie, how do you know all this curse... 184 00:06:30,052 --> 00:06:31,252 - Stuff? - Yeah. 185 00:06:31,286 --> 00:06:32,932 That... I mean, look, maybe it's real, maybe it's not. 186 00:06:32,956 --> 00:06:34,593 But, like, look at it this way. 187 00:06:34,626 --> 00:06:36,205 Like, i-if a black cat crosses your path, 188 00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:37,899 do you spit over your left shoulder? 189 00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:39,135 Why would I do that? 190 00:06:39,168 --> 00:06:40,137 - No. - You guys don't do that one? 191 00:06:40,170 --> 00:06:41,513 I don't know what that is. 192 00:06:41,538 --> 00:06:42,677 Well, I mean, like, when you're hopeful 193 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,201 for something, though, do you knock on wood? 194 00:06:44,646 --> 00:06:45,873 - That one. No. No. - Nah... No. 195 00:06:45,898 --> 00:06:46,917 I've heard of that one, but I don't do it. 196 00:06:46,951 --> 00:06:47,841 Well, do you make a wish 197 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,419 when you blow out a damn candle? I mean... 198 00:06:49,444 --> 00:06:51,177 - Of course we do. - Yes. - Yes, that one I do. 199 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,209 - You know what I'm talking about. - Candles, yeah, I like that. 200 00:06:52,234 --> 00:06:53,373 Well, 'cause I want my wishes to come true. 201 00:06:53,398 --> 00:06:54,755 Okay. And why do you do it? 202 00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:56,612 You do it just in case. 203 00:06:56,637 --> 00:07:00,210 Just in case it's real, right? 204 00:07:00,244 --> 00:07:01,981 And "just in case" is as good a reason 205 00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:03,380 to believe in anything as any. 206 00:07:09,373 --> 00:07:10,685 This is such a waste of time. 207 00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:12,066 I got to call a doctor or something. 208 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:13,326 No, you definitely should. 209 00:07:13,359 --> 00:07:14,797 I'm pretty sure you have Bell's palsy. 210 00:07:14,821 --> 00:07:15,982 I, I looked it up. 211 00:07:16,007 --> 00:07:17,762 But first you got to apologize to your neighbor. 212 00:07:17,787 --> 00:07:20,209 Yeah. Just in case? 213 00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:22,370 Just in ca... No, no. 214 00:07:22,404 --> 00:07:23,939 I don't believe in that bullshit. No. 215 00:07:23,973 --> 00:07:25,552 She's got the trophy. I want to get the trophy back. 216 00:07:25,576 --> 00:07:27,246 You had no right to give that to her. 217 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,935 I swear to God, if she doesn't have that thing, 218 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,696 - I'm gonna paralyze the other side of your face. - Okay. 219 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,659 'Cause I want it. Come on, that's-that's crazy. 220 00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:34,721 You-you have to be nominated for that. 221 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,160 Hello, you don't know me, 222 00:07:38,185 --> 00:07:40,572 but I'm the brother of this horrible woman, 223 00:07:40,606 --> 00:07:42,444 and she just wanted to come by and tell you 224 00:07:42,477 --> 00:07:44,146 that she's very... 225 00:07:47,324 --> 00:07:49,295 She-she feels... She... 226 00:07:49,857 --> 00:07:52,043 What's the word? To make better the feelings? 227 00:07:52,068 --> 00:07:54,903 - "Sorry"? - Sorry. Yes. Goddamn. 228 00:07:54,928 --> 00:07:56,832 I don't know what that... Yeah. 229 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,943 - Yeah. - And also, she... 230 00:07:58,976 --> 00:08:01,281 She gave you something, a trophy, 231 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,617 and-and it was not hers to give. 232 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,354 Do-do you perhaps still have that? 233 00:08:04,387 --> 00:08:06,525 - Yeah, I have it. I'll get it. - Yeah? Okay, great. 234 00:08:06,558 --> 00:08:08,070 You know what? I got to look up some clinics, 235 00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:09,607 'cause I really need a doctor to fix my face 236 00:08:09,631 --> 00:08:11,365 before we're on TV. 237 00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:15,409 - Whoa. Did-did you see that? - What? 238 00:08:15,443 --> 00:08:16,812 See what? 239 00:08:17,228 --> 00:08:19,332 A black cat just ran out of her apartment. 240 00:08:19,357 --> 00:08:20,920 - It just... - I didn't see a cat. 241 00:08:21,478 --> 00:08:23,215 You kidding me? It ran right past us. 242 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,316 Well, that's not good. 243 00:08:24,341 --> 00:08:25,496 - A black cat? - Yeah. 244 00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:26,908 Well, shit. What'd Charlie say we were supposed to do 245 00:08:26,932 --> 00:08:28,685 if we saw it? That's a bad omen. 246 00:08:31,842 --> 00:08:33,813 I got you, didn't I? Sorry about that. 247 00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:34,948 - Yes, you did. - Yeah. 248 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:36,115 Boy, that's a shame. 249 00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:37,352 - Thank you for this, though. - Yeah. 250 00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,980 Listen... Do you have a cat? 251 00:08:40,005 --> 00:08:41,671 'Cause I think I just saw one run out of your apartment. 252 00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,566 - A cat? - Yeah, yeah. A little black cat? 253 00:08:43,599 --> 00:08:47,310 I had a little black cat. Her name was Maureen. 254 00:08:48,041 --> 00:08:49,411 Whoa. 255 00:08:49,962 --> 00:08:52,066 But she's been dead for years. 256 00:08:53,481 --> 00:08:56,544 That's crazy. I was, I was murdered to a woman named Maureen. 257 00:08:57,427 --> 00:08:58,729 No, I meant married. I'm sorry. 258 00:08:58,762 --> 00:09:00,544 I was married to a woman named Maureen. 259 00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:01,401 I-I... 260 00:09:01,435 --> 00:09:03,405 That's so weird. I swear I saw a cat. 261 00:09:03,439 --> 00:09:04,650 You know what? This place is full of cats. 262 00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:05,686 Can we get out of here, please? 263 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,012 - Yeah, go. Go. - Okay. 264 00:09:07,045 --> 00:09:09,779 And please keep the noise down at night. 265 00:09:09,804 --> 00:09:11,638 Yeah. Okay, you got it, cunt. 266 00:09:14,271 --> 00:09:15,763 Are you sure about this, Cricket? 267 00:09:15,796 --> 00:09:17,600 Yeah, I'm sure about it, man. 268 00:09:17,634 --> 00:09:18,879 I've been greasing the doormen of this building for years. 269 00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:20,506 Chase Utley's back in town. 270 00:09:20,540 --> 00:09:22,386 He's coming out of his apartment any second now. 271 00:09:22,410 --> 00:09:23,889 Is it good intel? 'Cause I only got one good shot at this. 272 00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:25,425 Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. What do I know? 273 00:09:25,449 --> 00:09:26,752 I'm just a street rat, right? 274 00:09:26,785 --> 00:09:28,656 I'm just trash. That's what you said. 275 00:09:28,689 --> 00:09:29,967 - Okay, Cricks, I'll tell you... - You've got nothing for me. 276 00:09:29,991 --> 00:09:31,538 I knew you were gonna be a little bit of a bitch about this, 277 00:09:31,562 --> 00:09:32,840 so I did something nice. 278 00:09:33,452 --> 00:09:35,785 - I got you a sixer. - You got that for me? 279 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:37,431 Yeah, I got a gift for you, buddy. 280 00:09:37,529 --> 00:09:38,709 There's only four in here. 281 00:09:38,742 --> 00:09:40,413 I drank two of 'em, of course. 282 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:42,091 Okay. All right. Well, thank you. 283 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,762 I'm gonna buy a six-pack and not drink two? 284 00:09:43,786 --> 00:09:45,890 Well, yeah. That's kind of the kind thing to... 285 00:09:45,923 --> 00:09:47,836 But I... Look, thank you for the four. 286 00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:48,972 If I'm being honest, I drank four. 287 00:09:48,996 --> 00:09:50,365 Two of those are piss. 288 00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,111 Because I was stuck in the van, and you were out... 289 00:09:52,135 --> 00:09:53,939 You know what, I don't even care, frankly. 290 00:09:53,964 --> 00:09:55,934 - I'm just glad to have a beverage. - Yeah. All right. 291 00:09:55,959 --> 00:09:57,051 All right... 292 00:09:57,076 --> 00:09:58,871 Dominus espritu sanctum, okay? 293 00:09:58,896 --> 00:10:00,686 - You're off. - What was that? 294 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,185 I was, I was lifting the curse that I put on you. 295 00:10:03,966 --> 00:10:05,863 Yeah, no, I don't believe in curses. 296 00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,533 Yeah, that's anti-God, 297 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,706 and God is the reason that all things happen. 298 00:10:09,731 --> 00:10:11,301 And speaking of things that happened, 299 00:10:11,326 --> 00:10:12,942 I got to show you something, Cricks, 300 00:10:12,967 --> 00:10:15,238 but you got to keep it a secret. 301 00:10:16,669 --> 00:10:18,422 Something wrong with your dick? 302 00:10:18,463 --> 00:10:20,166 - What? - Okay, I was waiting for this. 303 00:10:20,191 --> 00:10:21,938 If it's your dick, though, I-I got to charge you for it. 304 00:10:21,962 --> 00:10:23,040 I'm gonna tell you right now. 305 00:10:23,064 --> 00:10:24,868 No. It's not my dick, Cricket. 306 00:10:24,901 --> 00:10:26,079 Well, if-if you're gonna whip it out, 307 00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:27,974 we're on the clock. All right? 308 00:10:28,007 --> 00:10:29,687 - I'm not whipping anything out! - There's a tiered system... 309 00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:31,548 Look. This. 310 00:10:32,036 --> 00:10:33,605 What? What is that? 311 00:10:33,630 --> 00:10:35,690 It's a monkey paw, and I think it's good luck, 312 00:10:35,723 --> 00:10:37,068 like a rabbit's foot or something like that, 313 00:10:37,092 --> 00:10:38,596 'cause ever since I found it, 314 00:10:38,629 --> 00:10:40,074 nothing but good things have happened. 315 00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:42,254 Sorry, I thought God was the reason 316 00:10:42,279 --> 00:10:44,027 that anything good happens, et cetera. 317 00:10:44,052 --> 00:10:47,614 Well, no. God decides who the good things happen to 318 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,149 and then who he smites. 319 00:10:49,183 --> 00:10:50,987 - You're not following. - I-I can't follow it. 320 00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:52,700 - Cricket, I'm... - It makes literally no sense. 321 00:10:52,724 --> 00:10:55,037 - You got to pick a lane. - I don't even know why I even... 322 00:10:55,061 --> 00:10:56,674 - Let's get this open. I'm feeling curious. -Wait, wait, wait, wait. 323 00:10:57,016 --> 00:10:58,975 Wait, that's... there he is, there he is. Okay. 324 00:10:59,000 --> 00:10:59,905 Let's go. 325 00:11:00,672 --> 00:11:02,242 Mr. Utley? 326 00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:04,079 Mr. Utley? 327 00:11:04,113 --> 00:11:06,217 Mr. Utley, a moment of your time, sir. 328 00:11:06,711 --> 00:11:07,987 Mr. Utley? 329 00:11:08,262 --> 00:11:10,132 Mr. Utley, hello? 330 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,872 Hello. Hi. Hi, Mr. Utley. 331 00:11:12,897 --> 00:11:14,945 Hey, would you like an autograph? 332 00:11:15,148 --> 00:11:17,139 No. That's a cl... A classic, Mr. Utley. 333 00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:20,145 - I-It's me, Mac. - I don't know a Mac. 334 00:11:20,178 --> 00:11:22,694 I wrote you a letter every week for the last ten years. 335 00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:24,990 Did you not receive my letters? There was a video. 336 00:11:25,023 --> 00:11:26,658 A video in response. Wait. 337 00:11:27,078 --> 00:11:29,420 "Dear Mac, I feel like I can call you Mac 338 00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:31,149 "because you called me Chase. 339 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:33,539 "Thank you for the compliment on my hair. 340 00:11:33,572 --> 00:11:35,647 "It's my fourth favorite thing after baseball, 341 00:11:35,672 --> 00:11:37,613 "running fast and my dad. 342 00:11:37,984 --> 00:11:39,977 "I'm sorry your dad doesn't like you. 343 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:41,897 "Maybe you could become a better son. 344 00:11:41,922 --> 00:11:43,492 "Meeting you and having a game of catch 345 00:11:43,525 --> 00:11:45,991 "sounds like a lot of fun, but like I said, 346 00:11:46,016 --> 00:11:48,537 "I'm really busy playing a lot of baseball for the Phillies. 347 00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:50,389 "I hope you have a good life. 348 00:11:50,414 --> 00:11:53,162 "Fans like you make my life a 'grand slam.' 349 00:11:53,373 --> 00:11:54,967 Your good friend, Chase." 350 00:11:54,992 --> 00:11:56,785 - Wait, you're that Mac? - Yes. 351 00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:59,498 I thought Mac was a little kid. 352 00:11:59,874 --> 00:12:01,912 Yes, there's a child. A child... 353 00:12:01,937 --> 00:12:04,768 A child born unto me. Little Mac. 354 00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:06,505 - What? - He's Little Mac, I'm Big Mac, 355 00:12:06,538 --> 00:12:07,716 and you shall have a catch with him. 356 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:09,452 Your hair, it's throwing me. 357 00:12:09,477 --> 00:12:11,147 It's making me very nervous. 358 00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:13,412 On the Dodgers, yes, you were the Silver Fox. 359 00:12:13,437 --> 00:12:15,482 Philadelphia, you were just the Fox. 360 00:12:15,507 --> 00:12:17,344 I don't know, man. I'm pretty busy. 361 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:20,953 Yes, we're all, we're all busy, but the boy is sick. 362 00:12:22,069 --> 00:12:24,303 He's very sick. He's, he's dying. 363 00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:26,912 He's got leukemia and you shall have a catch with him. 364 00:12:27,305 --> 00:12:29,584 - Where's my car? - I'll tweet that you didn't. 365 00:12:29,961 --> 00:12:31,464 I'm sorry. I threatened you. 366 00:12:31,715 --> 00:12:33,252 Now I'm upset and so are you. 367 00:12:34,461 --> 00:12:37,156 A catch, we shall have? Later today. 368 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:40,811 Okay. Maybe, but for, like, five minutes tops. 369 00:12:40,836 --> 00:12:43,278 - Yes. Yes, yes. - I'm really busy. 370 00:12:44,537 --> 00:12:45,702 Mom? 371 00:12:45,727 --> 00:12:47,620 Hey, can we pick your brain about something? 372 00:12:47,653 --> 00:12:50,760 Charlie, I didn't think you could make it. 373 00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:53,999 - Come on in. - Yeah, shit, I forgot it's Uncle Jack's birthday. 374 00:12:54,032 --> 00:12:56,003 Come on in, Charlie. You can sit next to me. 375 00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:58,609 Nah, I'm good. We'll come back later or something. 376 00:12:58,642 --> 00:13:00,613 No, no, no, no, Charlie. I want a piece of cake. 377 00:13:00,646 --> 00:13:02,622 - Come on. - Do you? Shit. 378 00:13:02,647 --> 00:13:03,755 Okay, all right, all right. 379 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:06,725 ? Happy birthday, dear Jack ? 380 00:13:06,758 --> 00:13:10,231 - ? Happy birthday to you. ? - Can we switch seats? 381 00:13:11,731 --> 00:13:13,206 Okay, make a wish. 382 00:13:13,231 --> 00:13:15,058 Right, right, right. Okay, you and I hold hands. 383 00:13:15,083 --> 00:13:17,012 - Nope. - Okay, ready? 384 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:18,715 All right. 385 00:13:18,749 --> 00:13:20,362 - -Good. All right. - Very good, very good. 386 00:13:20,386 --> 00:13:22,022 Hey, you want to know my wish, Charlie? 387 00:13:22,055 --> 00:13:23,935 - Sure don't, pal. - Ooh, don't tell him your wish, 388 00:13:23,959 --> 00:13:26,030 - it won't come true. - Yeah, there you go. 389 00:13:26,063 --> 00:13:28,058 - Exactly. - I made a wish, too. 390 00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,550 How about you and me go on upstairs with some cake, Bon? 391 00:13:30,575 --> 00:13:31,983 Hey, Frank, you don't get a wish, okay? 392 00:13:32,008 --> 00:13:33,822 That's not how birthday candles work. 393 00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:36,024 - Says who? - Look, that's not why we're here! 394 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,591 Mom, Frank killed a seagull. 395 00:13:39,958 --> 00:13:41,361 Hey, that's not good, Frank. 396 00:13:41,394 --> 00:13:43,006 Yeah, we know it's not good, Uncle Jack. Okay? 397 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,744 That's why... that's why we came here, all right? 398 00:13:44,768 --> 00:13:46,769 Mom, now is that the kind of thing that could put, like, 399 00:13:46,794 --> 00:13:49,356 - a curse on Frank? - Yes. 400 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:54,354 They say that a sailor's spirit lives on in the gulls, 401 00:13:54,599 --> 00:13:57,408 and if you kill a gull, the sailor 402 00:13:57,433 --> 00:13:59,669 can haunt you for the rest of its life. 403 00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:02,216 - No shit? - Yeah, well, is there anything we can do, 404 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:05,028 - or, like... - Well, you could slit Frank's throat 405 00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,208 with a horn of a goat and drink a bowl of his blood. 406 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:09,028 What? 407 00:14:09,635 --> 00:14:12,247 Well, okay, yeah, maybe not, maybe not that. 408 00:14:12,272 --> 00:14:13,842 Is, like, there anything else, or... 409 00:14:13,867 --> 00:14:14,981 Ooh! 410 00:14:15,006 --> 00:14:18,294 He could behead the gull and wear its skull 411 00:14:18,319 --> 00:14:20,630 around his neck for the rest of his life. 412 00:14:20,662 --> 00:14:22,027 Mom, that's not gonna work, 'cause we don't have 413 00:14:22,052 --> 00:14:23,700 - the gull anymore. - Yeah, we do. 414 00:14:23,725 --> 00:14:24,997 It's at the bar. 415 00:14:25,022 --> 00:14:26,887 - What? It is? - Yeah. 416 00:14:26,912 --> 00:14:28,302 I kicked it under one of the booths 417 00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,830 so I didn't have to clean it up. 418 00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,567 Okay, so you're telling me that you want to wear 419 00:14:33,592 --> 00:14:36,270 a seagull skull around your neck for the rest of your life? 420 00:14:36,662 --> 00:14:38,044 I don't know. Could be cool. 421 00:14:38,069 --> 00:14:39,338 No, we're not doing that. That's crazy. 422 00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:40,432 Mom, anything else? 423 00:14:40,457 --> 00:14:42,419 You could give the seagull 424 00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:45,306 a proper burial. 425 00:14:45,331 --> 00:14:48,371 What? Well, yeah, that one, Mom. That one. 426 00:14:48,396 --> 00:14:50,294 Why didn't you lead off with that one in the first place? 427 00:14:50,319 --> 00:14:53,512 Well, sometimes you're at sea, Charlie, 428 00:14:53,537 --> 00:14:55,286 and you wouldn't have that option. 429 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,814 Do I look like I'm at sea, Mom? 430 00:14:56,839 --> 00:14:58,966 - I don't know. - You don't know if I'm at sea? 431 00:14:58,991 --> 00:15:00,825 - You don't... - Uncle Jack, stop. 432 00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:02,434 Stop putting your hand on me. 433 00:15:06,695 --> 00:15:08,191 What are you doing? 434 00:15:09,716 --> 00:15:11,075 Looking for this. 435 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,278 What is it? 436 00:15:12,905 --> 00:15:14,364 Maureen Ponderosa. 437 00:15:14,389 --> 00:15:16,653 - Well, why do you have that? - Well, I wanted to keep it 438 00:15:16,678 --> 00:15:18,059 as a-a-a... 439 00:15:19,443 --> 00:15:21,630 A trophy? From the murder. 440 00:15:21,894 --> 00:15:23,831 No, not a... What? No, not a trophy. 441 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:25,098 I... As... I wanted... 442 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:27,005 Like a souvenir, f-from your victim. 443 00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:28,533 Not a souvenir, no. It's-it's, a... 444 00:15:28,558 --> 00:15:31,559 It's a... I wanted to keep it as a w-way to spite her. 445 00:15:31,584 --> 00:15:32,887 Which one? Which one's it under? 446 00:15:32,912 --> 00:15:34,419 By the jukebox. Over here. 447 00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:36,989 - Over here. - I see it, yeah. Let me get a trash bag. 448 00:15:37,013 --> 00:15:37,887 Yeah. 449 00:15:37,912 --> 00:15:40,473 - What the hell is that? - That's the gull Frank killed. 450 00:15:40,521 --> 00:15:42,658 - All right. - What's that? 451 00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,497 That's his dead wife. 452 00:15:44,522 --> 00:15:45,959 - Yeah. - Looks like a trophy. 453 00:15:45,984 --> 00:15:48,255 No, it's not a-a trophy, okay? 454 00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:50,245 The crazy bitch had it in her will that she wanted 455 00:15:50,270 --> 00:15:52,348 to be buried in a pet cemetery, and I refused. 456 00:15:52,373 --> 00:15:53,520 Wait a second. 457 00:15:54,226 --> 00:15:56,097 You refused your wife's dying wishes 458 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,364 to be buried in a pet cemetery? Why would you do that? 459 00:15:58,389 --> 00:15:59,606 Because she's not a cat. 460 00:15:59,631 --> 00:16:01,169 Yeah, but, dude, like, that's-that's the exact 461 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:02,411 kind of thing that could lead to a curse. 462 00:16:02,436 --> 00:16:04,075 That... I know. 463 00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,755 I... Yes. Okay, I get that now. 464 00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:08,294 - This is bullshit, Cricket. - I don't know what you're so upset about. 465 00:16:08,319 --> 00:16:09,794 Y-You said get a kid. 466 00:16:09,819 --> 00:16:12,231 I mean, his name on the street is literally "Kid." 467 00:16:12,256 --> 00:16:14,460 - That's what he goes by. - He is a grown man. 468 00:16:14,485 --> 00:16:17,481 I can be whatever you want me to be, champ. 469 00:16:17,506 --> 00:16:19,747 - I'll make your dreams come true. - He can. 470 00:16:19,772 --> 00:16:21,852 - Would you make it... - Do a, do a turn. Do a spin.. 471 00:16:22,369 --> 00:16:24,339 There you go. Make it sexy. Let's go. 472 00:16:27,477 --> 00:16:28,158 Yeah. 473 00:16:28,191 --> 00:16:29,439 Move the bangs, put the bangs. 474 00:16:29,464 --> 00:16:31,101 Show them your face, show them your face. 475 00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:33,384 - Yeah. - Hey. 476 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,323 - Get him out of here. - All right, yeah. You're gone. 477 00:16:35,348 --> 00:16:36,455 - Here. Go. - Yeah... 478 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:37,626 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 479 00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:38,587 Drugs? 480 00:16:39,122 --> 00:16:40,118 No eyes. 481 00:16:40,236 --> 00:16:41,110 Yep. 482 00:16:41,806 --> 00:16:42,681 Okay. 483 00:16:42,706 --> 00:16:43,603 It's all about respect. 484 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,163 Mac, what the hell is this? 485 00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:47,978 I believe that Cricket is now a pimp, 486 00:16:48,003 --> 00:16:49,689 and that was his boy slut. 487 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:52,337 T-that's oversimplifying it. 488 00:16:52,362 --> 00:16:54,095 But, that's-that's it in a nutshell. 489 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,994 No, we got that. He got, yeah, he means like... 490 00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,775 Yes. I-I mean, what are you doing with Cricket? 491 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,080 No, he's got a monkey paw. 492 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,619 Come on, Cricket. That's a secret. 493 00:17:01,644 --> 00:17:03,390 I can't keep secret... Honestly, I'm so high, 494 00:17:03,415 --> 00:17:05,345 I'm thinking about it, and I'm gonna go 495 00:17:05,370 --> 00:17:07,556 with him in the bathroom and finish up the... Yeah. 496 00:17:08,247 --> 00:17:09,884 Mac, what's going on with the monkey paw? 497 00:17:09,909 --> 00:17:10,712 What is this? 498 00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:12,220 You know how I've been chasing Chase Utley 499 00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:13,392 for years to have a catch? 500 00:17:13,417 --> 00:17:15,502 Well, I finally got to him and we were supposed 501 00:17:15,527 --> 00:17:18,408 to have a catch tomorrow with my "dying son." 502 00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:19,884 Cricket was gonna help me find one, 503 00:17:19,909 --> 00:17:21,877 - but he brought back a junkie. - Wait, wait, wait. 504 00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:24,392 You actually met Chase Utley? How'd you do that? 505 00:17:24,417 --> 00:17:27,033 Well, ever since I found this monkey's paw, 506 00:17:27,058 --> 00:17:28,798 my luck has totally turned around. 507 00:17:28,823 --> 00:17:31,462 Well, actually, it wasn't just a paw. 508 00:17:31,487 --> 00:17:34,337 It was a whole monkey behind the kegs, and he was dead. 509 00:17:34,362 --> 00:17:36,399 He had this cash in his hand, and when I went 510 00:17:36,424 --> 00:17:38,798 to grab the cash, the whole hand just, like, kind of popped out, 511 00:17:38,823 --> 00:17:40,336 and I've been carrying it around ever since. 512 00:17:40,739 --> 00:17:42,586 Monkey in the bar, right? Totally random. 513 00:17:42,611 --> 00:17:44,080 Wha... that-that's not random at all. 514 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,759 That's probably the monkey that worked here, 515 00:17:45,784 --> 00:17:48,142 - robbed us and fucked our faces. - He got stuck behind the keg. 516 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:49,728 - It's behind the kegs? - Well, actually, 517 00:17:49,753 --> 00:17:51,900 I found him by the office, but I kicked him behind the kegs 518 00:17:51,925 --> 00:17:53,197 because I didn't feel like cleaning him up. 519 00:17:53,755 --> 00:17:54,970 Goddamn it! 520 00:17:55,494 --> 00:17:56,587 Well, he is decomposing 521 00:17:56,627 --> 00:17:58,938 and there's also a shit-ton of mold back there. 522 00:17:58,963 --> 00:18:00,228 - Shit, now I smell it. - I don't know how I missed that. 523 00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:00,931 Okay, okay. 524 00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,814 I got a new fix, all right? I got a new fix for everything. 525 00:18:02,839 --> 00:18:04,742 We're gonna take, your wife, 526 00:18:04,767 --> 00:18:06,275 the gull and what's left of the monkey, 527 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,166 and we're gonna bury them all in a pet cemetery. 528 00:18:08,191 --> 00:18:10,271 And Mac, you are gonna have a catch with Chase Utley, 529 00:18:10,296 --> 00:18:11,697 but not with your dying son. 530 00:18:11,722 --> 00:18:14,127 - Why not? - 'Cause he's already dead. 531 00:18:16,607 --> 00:18:17,876 I'm confused. 532 00:18:18,206 --> 00:18:19,000 This is your son? 533 00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:20,103 Yes, Mr. Utley. 534 00:18:20,128 --> 00:18:21,970 I didn't have the heart to tell you earlier. 535 00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:24,533 He was only ten years old when he died. He's dead now. 536 00:18:24,788 --> 00:18:26,408 Why is he buried at a pet cemetery? 537 00:18:26,433 --> 00:18:28,994 Dogs. He loved dogs. 538 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,980 Okay, man. What is this? 539 00:18:31,005 --> 00:18:32,134 What's going on? 540 00:18:35,019 --> 00:18:36,502 I'm sorry, I... 541 00:18:37,446 --> 00:18:40,502 Look, I know you're gonna think that this is crazy, 542 00:18:40,527 --> 00:18:42,572 but I-I found this monkey paw, 543 00:18:42,597 --> 00:18:44,259 and it's brought me really good luck. 544 00:18:44,283 --> 00:18:47,407 And I know that you don't think superstitions are real, 545 00:18:47,433 --> 00:18:48,337 and that this is all ridiculous... 546 00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:50,066 Not real? Of course they're real. 547 00:18:50,091 --> 00:18:51,923 - What, really? - Yeah. 548 00:18:51,948 --> 00:18:54,158 How do you think baseball players get out of their slumps? 549 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,658 With superstitions. 550 00:18:55,683 --> 00:18:57,954 'Cause what they believe influences their actions. 551 00:18:58,114 --> 00:18:59,717 But actions do have consequences. 552 00:19:00,008 --> 00:19:01,736 Like lying, Mac. 553 00:19:02,104 --> 00:19:03,841 Why don't you hand over that monkey paw? 554 00:19:05,848 --> 00:19:07,087 You're right. 555 00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:10,619 You're right, actions do have consequences, and I... 556 00:19:11,339 --> 00:19:12,830 I'm really sorry, man, I think... 557 00:19:12,855 --> 00:19:14,962 Hall of Fame, baby, here I come! 558 00:19:16,817 --> 00:19:18,923 What the hell was that all about? 559 00:19:19,186 --> 00:19:22,492 I think Chase Utley just stole my monkey paw. 560 00:19:23,104 --> 00:19:25,134 Well, then, maybe the curse has been lifted. 561 00:19:25,159 --> 00:19:27,619 - Right, yeah. - Hey, guys? 562 00:19:28,514 --> 00:19:29,587 Check this out. 563 00:19:29,612 --> 00:19:32,134 Okay, so, apparently... 564 00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:35,111 temporary facial paralysis and brain fog 565 00:19:35,136 --> 00:19:37,666 are all symptoms of exposure to high levels of mold. 566 00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,408 You know what? That might also explain the silverfish. 567 00:19:42,433 --> 00:19:43,902 Yeah, no, it does. Actually, it does. 568 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:44,853 They eat mold. 569 00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:46,056 And what about my egg? 570 00:19:46,081 --> 00:19:47,220 Well, is it possible, Frank, 571 00:19:47,245 --> 00:19:48,949 that that egg was a seagull egg? 572 00:19:51,001 --> 00:19:52,680 ... That might've been, because, you know what, 573 00:19:52,705 --> 00:19:54,072 - we found some eggs... - And we... 574 00:19:54,097 --> 00:19:55,777 - And you might've mixed them up. - I might've swapped... 575 00:19:55,802 --> 00:19:57,447 - Mixed them up. - Yeah, 'cause we had store eggs 576 00:19:57,472 --> 00:19:59,205 - and we had found eggs. - You did a flip-flop. 577 00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,341 - You did a flip-flop. - Yeah, there you go. 578 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,748 - So, the... so, there's no curse. - Oh, no. 579 00:20:01,891 --> 00:20:03,248 Hold on a second. 580 00:20:03,273 --> 00:20:05,342 "Dear Mr. McDonald, we regret to inform you 581 00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:08,217 that we came by your bar and there was nobody there." 582 00:20:08,242 --> 00:20:09,858 "After several failed attempts 583 00:20:09,883 --> 00:20:12,122 "to reach you, we have decided to rescind our offer. 584 00:20:12,147 --> 00:20:14,741 We wish you the best of luck. Your friends at Bar Rescue." 585 00:20:14,766 --> 00:20:16,256 Damn it. If I had that monkey paw, 586 00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:17,553 none of this would've happened. 587 00:20:17,578 --> 00:20:19,241 Yeah, so that means we are still cursed. 588 00:20:19,266 --> 00:20:20,117 - No. - Shit. 589 00:20:20,142 --> 00:20:21,992 It doesn't! We're not... There is no curse. 590 00:20:22,017 --> 00:20:23,766 Okay? Mac, no, you were never lucky. 591 00:20:23,791 --> 00:20:25,895 Okay? You just bombarded them both with mail. 592 00:20:26,061 --> 00:20:27,697 And you stalked Chase Utley for years. 593 00:20:27,841 --> 00:20:30,523 We're not unlucky, okay? We're just the type of... 594 00:20:31,072 --> 00:20:33,297 We're just the type of people to bury various animals 595 00:20:33,322 --> 00:20:36,062 and-and wives in a pet cemetery 596 00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:37,556 when we know we should be at work. 597 00:20:37,581 --> 00:20:39,819 - Yeah. - Let's go back to the bar. 598 00:20:40,289 --> 00:20:41,969 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 599 00:20:41,994 --> 00:20:43,539 What about me? What about my luck? 600 00:20:43,564 --> 00:20:47,297 I don't know, Cricks, I guess... there's no real explanation 601 00:20:47,322 --> 00:20:49,351 as to why bad things would happen to you. 602 00:20:49,376 --> 00:20:51,389 - Yeah. - Maybe it's just one of those things, Cricket. 603 00:20:51,414 --> 00:20:52,960 -That's life. That's life, sometimes. -Yeah, man. 604 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,414 - It is what it is. - You got a dark cloud 605 00:20:54,439 --> 00:20:55,711 - following you around. - It is what it is. 606 00:20:55,736 --> 00:20:57,149 - That's all there is to it. - It is what it is. 607 00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:58,922 - It is what it is. - Nice day. 608 00:20:58,947 --> 00:21:05,947 credits 46293

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