Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

Jeannie, would you like part of the paper?

[GIGGLING] Oh, master.

Oh, thank you, master.

Oh, the newspapers remind me of the old days.

The old days? Mm.

Two thousand years ago.

Really?

Nothing but floods, wars and juvenile delinquency.

[GASPS]

Master! Oh, look, look!

What?

The museum is having an exhibit for Bukistan.

How about that?

Oh, master, I used to live in Bukistan.

Oh, please take me.

What, to Bukistan?

Ooh, no. To the museum.

Oh, well, I'm not really very much for museums.

And besides, I'm not even dressed.

Ah.

The minute I opened my mouth, I knew I shouldn't have said it.

Shall we go, master?

You've talked me into it.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, this is it.

Oh, I'm so excited.

I could spend days here.

Well, I can only give you 15 minutes, Jeannie.

I've got to be back at the base.

Oh, master, look at that sword.

Yeah.

Oh, they do not make them like that anymore.

Yeah. I hope not.

Look at that sword.

My slippers!

What's the matter with your slippers?

Oh, no, no, no, master. Those slippers in the case.

They are mine. Ah.

Those are my favorite slippers.

Well, no, no. How could they be your slippers, Jeannie?

They belonged to a, um, Princess Muphista, whoever she was.

I know who she was.

She was a fat thief.

And I want my slippers back.

Shh, shh. Jeannie.

Would you mind lowering your voice?

These people are staring.

Oh, but they are mine.

Yeah, well, slippers are slippers.

They probably just look like yours.

Oh, no, master.

You see there, there where the tassel is missing?

That happened when the caliph danced with me,

and he stepped on my foot.

Come on over here.

You see there. See that little broken place near the heel?

Yeah.

Well, that happened when I became angry,

and I threw the slipper at the princess.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Oh, believe me, master.

I would know those slippers anywhere.

Ooh, and I must have them back.

No, no, no, Jeannie. You mustn't.

They don't belong to you anymore.

They're on loan from the Bukistanian government.

Well, how can the Bukistan government

loan what belongs to me?

Jeannie, that's just the point.

You see, they don't belong to you anymore.

I am terribly sorry. I am terribly sorry.

Now, come on. Nice museum.

Wonderful exhibit!

You are right, master.

Why make a fuss about a pair of 2000-year-old slippers anyway?

Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

Good morning, Major Nelson.

Oh, hello, Alice.

You never call me anymore.

Uh, well, I'm sorry.

I'm-- I'm engaged in a little experimental work.

Experimenting, huh?

See you later.

A robbery by someone in this base?

That's hard to believe.

Nothing shocks a psychiatrist.

Hello, major. Sir.

Hey, Tony, have you heard about the big robbery?

No, but if it's somebody on the base, I hope they catch him.

Oh, we'll catch him, all right.

What was stolen, sir? Well--

Some joker broke into the museum and stole a valuable pair

of old slippers that were on exhibit.

Old slippers, huh?

Yes.

They were 2000 years old, and priceless.

The museum guard says that an officer left

just before the slippers were discovered missing.

He's sure he can identify him.

Isn't that a lucky break?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Very lucky.

We have a list of all the officers who were off duty

at the time of the robbery.

We're gonna check that list out very carefully.

And by tonight, he'll probably be in prison.

Probably.

I can tell you right now who the thief is.

Oh, you can, sir?

Yes, I certainly can.

The man we are looking for...

is a psychopath.

Psychopath?

Really-- A psychopath, sir?

With a fetish for women's shoes.

A fet-- How do you know that, sir?

There were things in that case much more valuable,

and yet the thief took only the slippers.

I know this sounds far-fetched, sir, but couldn't it be possible

that the thief was trying to reclaim his rightful property?

Oh, come now, Major Nelson.

A pair of 2000-year-old slippers?

No, no, no, no, no.

The man we're looking for is desperate,

cunning and very ingenious.

And we are going to find him.

Oh, yeah.

Sir, well, if there is anything I can do to help, sir,

why, just let me know.

After all, they're just slippers.

Is this worth all the fuss over it?

No, it might be only a pair of slippers to you, Major Nelson,

but to the Bukistanian government

it's a national insult.

An insult.

I've just been with General Peterson.

Oh?

The Bukistanian ambassador has lodged a formal protest

and informed the State Department that unless

those slippers are returned within the next 24 hours,

they're going to consider this theft

a deliberate affront to their government.

You know something, sir, I don't blame them.

What are you, some kind of an expert in international affairs?

Excuse me, sir, I've got some work to do.

What did I say?

Jeannie! Jeannie!

Young lady, I want to have a little talk to you.

Are they not beautiful, master?

Hm? And they fit perfectly.

I was afraid that my feet might have grown in 2000 years.

Do you know what you've done to me?

Oh, I have done nothing to you, master.

You've done nothing! If you don't give those slippers back,

I'm going to go to jail,

the United States is going to go to war with Bukistan.

But they belong to me, master.

Jeannie, you are missing the point.

That exhibition was on loan.

The United States government was responsible for those slippers.

Oh, and they took very good care of these for me.

I'm grateful.

But would you not think that they would at least

have put the tassel back on, master?

Jeannie, you're not listening to me.

Now, I want those slippers back in a glass case.

As you wish, master.

Oh, aren't they lovely?

[SCOFFS]

Not-- Not there. I want them in a museum.

[GIGGLES]

Jeannie, you're going to return those slippers right now.

Oh, I like it when you are forceful, master.

Sometimes you have to be.

Oh, I would do anything to make you happy, master.

That's my girl.

Except return these slippers.

Now, wait a minute. Listen, I--

I cannot tell you how much I love them.

I must buy something to go with them.

How about the pyramids?

Oh, that is a wonderful idea!

No, no, no. I take it back.

Look, I-I'll tell you what I'll do.

If you'll give me those slippers,

I'll buy you a dozen pair just like them, huh?

[GIGGLING]

No, master.

I will keep these.

I'll, um... I'll let you drive the car, Jeannie.

You'll love that, huh? Huh?

No, master.

Well, I'll, uh-- I'll take you dancing.

How about that, huh?

[CRASH]

No, master.

I will keep these slippers.

This time, Jeannie, I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist.

[LAUGHING]

Jeannie, you cut that out! Now, come on, cut it out!

[LAUGHING] Oh, you.

Jeannie!

Now, come on.

Jeannie, y-you come out of there.

Now, I mean it.

Jeannie, this is your master speaking.

Can you hear me?

I'm gonna count to three.

One, two, th--

Hey, has Dr. Bellows called you yet?

No, no. Why should he call me?

Well, you know those men he was talking about? Yeah.

Well, Dr. Bellows asked the museum guard to come out

and look at some of the men,

and they've got the list down to three men.

Uh, Tony, what would you want with a pair of old slippers?

I mean, it goes terrible with your uniform.

Roger.

Well, I mean, I'm just saying that-- Jeannie?

That's right.

The slippers are Jeannie's.

She ran across them at the museum.

Well, tell her to give them back.

She's supposed to obey you.

Yeah, well, I know she's supposed to obey me,

but she doesn't know she's supposed to obey me.

I made a big mistake when I found her on that beach.

I said she was free.

Why couldn't I have picked up an everyday, normal male genie?

Ha!

Well, what are you gonna do?

I'm, uh-- I'm gonna let her keep the slippers.

You're what? Yeah, yeah.

Sure, sure. Why not?

I'm going to let her keep them.

She's, uh-- They're hers.

They belong to her. She should keep them.

After all, what's fair is fair, right?

What's fair is fair.

What's fair is fair is fair.

"I am going to trick--"

Roger, I have a lot to do right now.

We all got a lot to do. Right?

Sure, listen, if anybody c-calls, don't answer, right?

Thanks a lot. Nice talking to you.

Uh, Jeannie, uh, you can come out now.

Oh, thank you, master, but I'm very comfortable in here.

Well, I-- I'll just make an early night of it.

I'll get a little sleep.

Good night, Jeannie.

Good night, master.

Well, good morning, Rififi.

How's the international slipper thief?

Well, I'll tell you how I am.

If I don't get those slippers back to the museum,

I'm going to start a war with Bukistan.

I thought you were going to trick her.

Well, I tried. It didn't work.

I tried to get her out of the bottle this morning.

She wouldn't budge.

What's she being so unreasonable about?

Well, she's not really.

When you come down to it, they are her slippers.

I feel like a heel trying to get them away from her.

You've got an interesting choice.

You can be a live heel or a dead hero.

If Dr. Bellows can prove you're mixed up in this thing,

he'll nail you to his wall as a trophy.

I'm not really worried about Dr. Bellows.

You see-- [PHONE RINGS]

Yes.

Oh, hello, Dr. Bellows.

Can I come over to your office right away?

No. I mean, uh, I can as soon as I finish the job

I'm in the middle of.

Well, it-- It shouldn't take too long, sir.

At least I hope not.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

I'll be over.

Well, I have an uncle in the insurance business.

If you'd like a letter of recommendation, why, I--

If I can get those slippers back in the museum

before my meeting with Dr. Bellows,

they'll be so happy, they won't care who stole them.

Hello. Oh, hello, Jeannie?

Hello, master.

Did you sleep well?

Oh, yes, I did.

And, uh--? And you?

Oh, I slept very well, thank you.

Jeannie, I've been thinking.

I, uh-- I really think you ought to keep the slippers.

Oh! You do?

Yes, of course. I mean, after all, they're yours.

Oh.

Thank you, master.

And to celebrate, I'm going to take you and Roger to lunch.

Oh, I will enjoy that.

Roger always wanted to go to Maxim's in Paris.

I did?

I did. Oh, yes.

Oh, I love French food.

Of course, when I first tried it,

France was called Gaul.

Gaul?

Hey, can you imagine going into a restaurant

and asking for some Gaul-fried potatoes?

Uh, Jeannie, naturally we couldn't take you out

dressed like that.

Oh, oh, well, that is no problem.

Hey, hey!

Oh, does this look better, master?

Very nice.

That's wonderful, Jeannie.

Uh, you know, I-- I don't think the slippers

go with that outfit.

I like the slippers with the outfit.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Why don't you change your shoes,

and you can leave your slippers

right here in my drawer?

For safekeeping, hm?

Well, i-if you are sure that nothing will happen to them.

Well, what could possibly happen to them in my office?

[MUMBLES]

Very well then.

Are these better, master?

Oh, those are beautiful. Aren't they, Roge?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank--

Thank you.

Well, that's taken care of.

Hey, listen, I'm starved.

Can we go now? Oh, so am I.

Mm, hungry. Overseas operator.

What are you calling the overseas operator for?

I'm calling Maxim's to make a reservation.

You can't just walk in there.

Oh, that will not be necessary, master.

I can make a reservation.

How?

I will go there and make it.

No, I don't want to put you to any trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble, master.

I will not be gone long.

Well--

Oh, boy, this is the greatest idea you've ever had.

I've never been to Maxim's before.

Mm. I'm hungry too.

What are you doing? Huh?

I'm going to take these back to that museum.

You mean we're not going to Maxim's?

Roger, get with it, will you?

I never thought I'd see these again.

And we've got to work fast.

We've got to work fast?

I've got to do it before my meeting with Dr. Bellows.

Since we're not going to Maxim's,

can we pick up a cheeseburger or something?

He's got the stolen slippers in a shoebox.

That's right, general.

I don't believe it.

I saw it myself.

If you'll come to his office right now, you'll catch him.

Doctor, if you're wasting my time again--

General, if I'm wasting your time,

I'll eat the shoebox.

Let's go.

How are we going to get the slippers back into the museum?

I don't know. We've got to find a way, fast.

Wait, wait, wait. Ah-ha!

I caught you!

How was Maxim's?

Maxim's is not open for lunch.

You lied to me.

I am going to turn you into a three-headed toad.

Wait, don't do anything you're going to be sorry for.

I've never seen a three-headed toad before.

Jeannie, I'm sorry I lied to you.

I was desperate.

[SQUEALS]

Well, are you going to turn him into a three-headed toad?

Roger, will you stay out of this?

PETERSON: I'm warning you, doctor.

This is the last time.

Jeannie!

There it is, general.

Well, I guess I better be running along.

You stay right here.

Right here, sir.

What have you got in the box, Tony?

The box, sir? The box. Oh, yes.

That shoebox. Oh.

Now, I wonder what could be in a shoebox?

Shoes, perhaps?

Stolen shoes, perhaps?

I've waited a long time for this, Major Nelson.

I have no intention of gloating.

I'm simply going to use this as the basis of getting to

the bottom of a lot of things that need explaining.

Open the box, major.

Well, I-- I'd really rather not, sir.

I have some kind of personal things in there.

I hate to insist, Tony, but since Dr. Bellows

has made this accusation, I'm afraid I'll have to.

Well, really, there's no need to, sir.

You see, I can explain what's in it.

I have this friend of mine--

I'll open it myself.

It's a lobster.

Well, yes, of course it's a lobster, sir.

I love lobster.

Doctor?

Yes, general.

Jeannie.

Hey, hey, what's going on?

What are you doing?

I am leaving, master.

I will not stay in a den of thieves.

[CHUCKLING] A den of thieves?

Look who's talking.

Now, all right, all right.

I'll take you to Maxim's.

And you can keep your slippers on.

Oh, master, I did not care that you did not take me to Maxim's.

It just hurt me that you lied to me.

I'm sorry.

I-I didn't mean to hurt you.

Let's forget about the whole thing, all right?

Do you mean that?

Yeah, I really do.

All right?

All right.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Why don't you unpack your suitcases now, huh?

Oh, that will not be necessary, master.

The suitcases are empty.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yeah.

Yeah. It figures.

Hello. Major Nelson here.

Oh, yes, Dr. Bellows.

You have the museum guard with you there?

And you want me to come over right away.

Well...it's a little late, sir.

N--

Yes, sir, I'll be right over.

I've got to go over to Dr. Bellows' office.

About my slippers?

Yeah, yeah. But don't worry.

I'll work it out.

Well, very well, master.

I will get dressed,

and when you come back, we will go out to dinner.

I may be a little delayed.

How long?

I'd rather not think about that.

Oh, hey, Tony, you've got to get out of town.

Dr. Bellows has the museum guard in his office now.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

I'm on my way over there right now.

Well, I will go take my shower.

Shower?

Oh, you can't-- You can't go there now.

That's impossible. They'll identify you.

Yeah, I know, I know. But if I don't go over there,

Dr. Bellows is going to send the tank corps after me.

Did you see his face when he ate that shoebox?

This time he's got me.

That's too bad.

You put up a good fight.

Thanks.

Oh, don't forget about my uncle.

Your uncle?

The insurance business.

Jeannie, I'm leaving now.

I'll be back as soon as I finish with Dr. Bellows.

Can you hear me?

Where are we going?

I need your help.

Come on!

Wait a minute!

[WHISPERING] Give me the keys.

Come on, give me the keys.

I need the keys! Give them to me.

[CAR APPROACHING]

Shh!

[GRUNTING]

[WHISPERS] Give me the shoes.

Come on, come on.

Uh, major, uh...

Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, sir.

Well, it, um... It doesn't matter.

I don't need you any longer.

You don't need me any longer?

Uh, no.

The thief broke into the museum again and returned the slippers.

No. Yes.

The criminal mind is an amazing thing, isn't it?

Major, some day...

not today and perhaps not tomorrow,

but some day...

[SIGHS]

Whew.

Master. Oh!

Hello, Jeannie.

Jeannie, you're going to hate me for this, but...I had to do it.

I had to return your slippers.

Oh!

Now, they're in the museum where they belong.

And I want you to promise me that they're going to stay

exactly where they are.

Well, if that is what you wish, master.

Believe me, if you knew all the trouble I went through

to put those things back, that's exactly what I wish.

Very well, master.

[♪♪♪]