All language subtitles for I Dream of Jeannie (1965) - S01E04 - Jeannie and the Marriage Caper (480p DVD x265 Silence)_track3_[eng]

NARRATOR:
Once upon a time,

in a mythical place
called Cape Kennedy,

an astronaut named Tony Nelson
went up on a space mission.

The missile went up,

but something went wrong,
and they had to bring it down.

Captain Nelson landed on
an island in the South Pacific,

where he found a bottle.

At least,
it looked like a bottle.

But it didn't act like
a bottle.

Because in it was a genie.

Oh, not your average,
everyday genie.

But a beautiful genie...

who could grant any wish.

[♪♪♪]

Captain Nelson was so grateful,
he set Jeannie free.

Only she didn't
want to be free.

You know how it is

when you've been cooped up
in a bottle for 2000 years.

She wanted to have fun.

And she wanted to have it
with Captain Nelson.

So she followed him back
to Cocoa Beach,

a mythical town

in a mythical state
called Florida.

And there, in this house,

the girl in the bottle
plays spin the astronaut.

Boy, I wonder what it is
about mental work

that makes you so hungry.

I wish I had
a cheese sandwich.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

Oh, hello, Jeannie.

Say, you wouldn't fix me
a cheese sandwich, would you?

I-I'd go down
to the delicatessen myself,

but if I'm gonna finish this
design before I pick up Melissa,

I won't have a chance.
Melissa?

Mm-hm.
The black-haired witch.

Hey, you be careful,
young lady.

That happens to be the girl
I'm gonna marry.

Her vibrations
are all wrong for you.

Oh. That's funny.

I kinda like the way
she vibrates.

She will never
make you happy, master.

Let's just stick
to the cheese sandwich, Jeannie.

[SIGHS]

Well, if this is what
you really wish.

Mm-hm.
That is what I really wish.

[BLEATS]

What's this doing in my study?

What's the big idea?

Before one can
make a cheese sandwich,

one must first make the cheese.

Yeah.
Yeah, that figures.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[HUMS]

MELISSA:
Wasn't that fun?

TONY:
Yeah.

MELISSA:
I never danced
so much in my life.

TONY:
Thanks for
driving me home, Melissa.

I'll, uh--
I'll see you tomorrow.

I have a wonderful
idea.

Why don't you
lure me inside,

so we can snuggle up
in front of a roaring fire

with a couple of
hot toddies and, uh...

talk about
our honeymoon?

Well, I I wish I could, Lis,
but, uh, we better not.

I'm a terribly
messy housekeep--

I'll clean it up
for you.

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah.

Tony!

Huh?

You read my mind.

Oh.

What?

You even lit
a fire.

I did?

Oh! Yeah, I did,
didn't I?

Oh,
look at those.

Hm.

Hi.

MELISSA:
Seem so nervous.

Oh, do I?
Do I?

Um, uh...
premarital jitters.

Occupational hazard
for us bachelors.

MELISSA:
Why wait?

TONY:
What?

Why don't we simply move up
the wedding date?

Well, yeah, th-that's
a marvelous idea.

Oh! Oh, Tony.

[WHISPERING]
Wait till I get you
in Jamaica.

[WHISPERING]
I guess I'll have to,
won't I?

It won't be
too long.

Tony...

Yeah?

May I ask you something?
Sure.

What are we
whispering about?

Whispering?

Oh. Well, it's just
some things

you don't discuss
in public.

[GIGGLES]

You mean, the walls
have ears?

Yeah.
Something like that.

You look a little tired.

Think you better
get some rest.

I'll go.

Yeah, that's
a good idea.

Hm?

I mean, you look
tired too, darling.

You need some rest.

Of course I will.

Um, and thanks for being
so understanding, Melissa.

Good night.

Good night.

All right, now,
listen here, Jeannie.

The black-haired witch
is right.

Thou art
very nervous.

She has upset you.

She's upset me? What do you
think you're doing?

Do you really love that one?

Well, I-- I wouldn't be
marrying her if I didn't.

Well...if this is what
you really want,

I will try to serve you
and make both of you happy.

Oh, we will have
a wonderful honeymoon.

N-n-now wait a minute.

I don't think you know
the ground rules.

I am taking Melissa
to Jamaica on our honeymoon.

Jamaica.

Oh, that sounds nice.
We will have a good time there.

I will serve you
ripe figs in bed--

Oh, no, you won't.
Dates?

No, no. Nothing.
You won't be there.

But why?

No offense, Jeannie,
but on a honeymoon,

two is company and three is--

[STAMMERS]

Well, three is just
out of the question.

But I am your--

No, no, no.
Melissa is in, you are out.

There is just not enough room
in my life for both of you.

But I take up very little room,

and I will make
that one happy too.

Oh, boy. That'll be the day.

Even if she is
the wrong girl for you.

Will you stop
saying that.

Oh, but it is true.

You will be throwing
your life away.

It is not so, and--

And it's my life. And I can
throw it anyplace I please.

I could change myself
into a brunette.

How do you like
the Helen of Troy look?

Have a nice trip home.

Boy. If there's anything
I can't stand,

it's a nagging genie.

[GOAT BLEATS]

Figures.

MAN:
Come in.

Hello, Tony.
General.

Lis.

Tony...
Uh, I just ran into Roger.

I want you to meet a very
old friend of the family.

Grover Caldwell.
Oh, how do you do?

So you're
the lucky man.

Lis has told me
all about you.

TONY:
Oh, has she?
Good. Uh--

Grover, tell him
the news.

Captain...
after a long

and honorable
military career,

the department has prevailed
upon General Stone

to turn in
his stars

for a pair
of striped trousers

and an attaché
case.

Turn in
your stars?
[LAUGHS]

MELISSA:
That's State Department talk.

Meaning that Daddy
is our newest ambassador.

[GASPS]

Well,
congratulations, sir.

That's wonderful
news.

Thank you, Tony.

It's a great opportunity
for both of us.

Uh, yes, yes.
I'm sure it will be.

Us?

Who do you think
he's taking to Europe

as his military attaché?

Uh, don't get the idea
that it's just because

you're going to be
the father of my grandchildren

that, uh, you're
getting this plum.

I'd have wanted you
with me in any case.

Well, you people
have a lot to talk about,

so I'll just
pop off

and take care of
the passports

and clearances.

Tony.
Oh, yes.

Pleasure.
General.

Uh, sir.
Uh, I--

Tony?

Don't you think
it's wonderful?

Well, now, slow down.
Slow down.

I can't - I can't quit
what I'm doing.

It's a great
opportunity, Tony.

Of course
it is.

Tony just hasn't
had time

to think
about it.

Well, we can all
discuss this at dinner.

We are coming
to your house

for dinner tonight,
aren't we?

Yes.
Yes, of course.

But there's nothing
to discuss, Melissa.

I'm in
the space program

because that's where
I want to be.

I-- I don't mean to sound
ungrateful, sir.

And I know you'll make
a wonderful--

A fine ambassador.

Well, I'll--
I'll see you both at 7.

Congratulations
again, sir.

Thank you, Tony.

Frozen peas.

Frozen hors d'oeuvres.

And, uh, wild rice.

What are you doing,
master?
[GASPS]

I'm preparing
dinner. Why?

Well, cooking
is women's work.

You wouldn't.
Would you?

Oh, if you did that,
you'd save my life.

I have a report
to finish.

Uh, do you know anything
about cooking?

Everything.

I will take care
of it.

You go soak your body
in a warm tub

scented with
rose petals.

Yeah. Well,
that's a good idea,

but I don't think so
right now.

Oh, if you
want to know anything

about the cooking,

the instructions are
on the back of the boxes.

Uh, you do read,
don't you?

Mm-mm. Right to left,
left to right,

top to bottom
or bottom to top.
Hm.

Uh, left to right,
top to bottom.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Hm.

[SNIFFS]

Jeannie?

Jeannie. Jeannie.

Jeannie!

Jeannie, what's
going on down--? Ow!

Ah!

Two thousand years ago

my sister made
better gravy than that.

And she was the worst cook
in the Middle East.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, that's them.
Melissa's always on time.

Now, I have to take them
out to dinner.

Will you do me a favor,
please, huh?

Will you just
stay out of sight?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Good evening.

Tony.
Huh?

Oh, here's
your hat.

Keep this,
you're not staying.

I've got to apologize
for the burning smell.

It's the dinner.

I never smelled anything more
appetizing in my whole life.

Huh?

Oh, Tony.

Why, it's--
It's beautiful.

Uh. Oh, it's
nothing, really.

JEANNIE:
Captain Nelson!

Who's that?

Who's who?

Huh, now, Melissa.

You don't want to go
in the kitchen.

The wild rice
went crazy.

TONY:
Please, please,
now--

Tony.
Huh?

Excuse me.

[LAUGHS]

Tony, you never told me
that you had a houseboy.

Oh, no.

No, I-I didn't,
did I?

Where did
you ever find, uh...?

Uh, what's his name?
Kato.

[JEANNIE'S VOICE]
Jeannie.

Jeannie Kato.
Those look marvelous.

May I?

Fantastic.
Try one, Melissa.

Oh, I'd love to.

Why don't
you try several?

I'll be with you
in a minute.

Jeannie Kato,
these looks beautiful.

Who do you think
you're gonna fool

with this crazy
disguise?

It is no disguise.
See?
Huh?

Ooh!

If I had a houseboy
that could cook like this,

I wouldn't pull
his hair.

[EXHALES]

Marvelous.

You must give me
the recipe for this.

What do you call it?

Ragout
à la Sinbad.

Why only
the recipe?

I think we ought to
take Jeannie Kato

to Europe
with us.

Would you
like that?

Thou art going
to Europe?

No.
Yes.

We'll discuss this
later, Melissa.

I'll be very happy to go
with you wherever you go.

Oh, no, you wouldn't like it.

But he's such a treasure.

And good help
is impossible to get.

Even harder
to get rid of.

With dishes like
Ragout à la Sinbad,

our embassy would be
the social center of Europe.

Where in the world
did you ever

learn to cook
like this?

Where I come from,
it is very common.

Very.

Oh. Well, where do you
come from?

Constantinople.
Philippines.

Uh, his mother traveled a lot.

Thank you,
Jeannie Kato.

That was the best cake I've ever
tasted in my whole life.

Thank you.

I'm sorry you won't
come to Europe with us.

Who says he won't?
Hm.

We'll talk about this
later, okay?

Well, now, wait a minute.
Kato is not going to Europe.

As a matter of fact,
I'm not going to Europe,

and neither is my wife
going to Europe.

Well...anything
you say, darling.

Good night,
Lis.

Good night, Dad.
Sir.

Good night.

Dark-haired one
will get her way.

She's very
strong-minded.

Just keep out of this,
fella.

Oh. Uh...

[FOOTSTEPS
APPROACH]

Oh. We are
going out!

Hm? No.
I am going out.

I'm going to
a bachelor party.

Oh, what's this
bachelor's party?

Oh, it's an old
tradition, Jeannie.

Before a wedding, a bunch
of happy, carefree bachelors

get together and throw a party
for the groom-to-be.

Oh, I like parties.

You can't come.

But why?
[SIGHS]

Because women
aren't allowed.

Now, smoke out.

But I--
Out!

[GROANS]
[CLEARS THROAT]

[GIGGLES]

[SIGHS]

A million bottles on the beach,
and I had to pick hers.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[WHISPERS]
Get out!

I just got here.

Oh. Well, uh,
glad to see you.

Well, is the condemned man
ready for the--?

Wait a minute. You do
look like a condemned man.

Oh, come on. Let's get
this thing over with.

You sound like you're
going to a hanging.

What's the matter?

Nothing. Nothing wrong
with Melissa either.
No.

She's a little
strong-minded.

Nothing wrong
with that.
Of course not.

She's an intelligent,
reasonable girl.
Sure.

I'm lucky
to have her.

You have last-minute
jitters, haven't you?

Come on, we better
get out of here.
Yeah.

One hand.

[MEN CHATTERING]

ROGER:
Why don't we just
drink up

and forget all
the shoptalk, okay?

Tony.
Captain.

How about a toast
to the best man?

Well, thank you
very much, general.

Here's to
Grover.

Grover?

Wait a minute.
If he's the best man,

what does that
make me?

The astronaut
most likely to be

in Port Moresby
tomorrow.

We have a very
important mission

for you there,
captain.

Uh, will you excuse us,
gentlemen?

Yes, of course, sir.

Look, if you'd rather
have him for your best man,

why didn't you just
come out and say so,

instead of having
your own private general

ship me off
to Australia?

Private general?
Wait a minute.

I didn't know anything
about this.

Oh, sure you didn't.

Roger. Roger,
wait a minute.

I can straighten
everything out.

Anything wrong,
captain?

Huh? Oh.

Oh. No, sir.

You're not nervous
about all this?

Oh, well,
a little.

You know
how it is.

No, I don't.
I wish I did.

You know, in all the years
I've been practicing psychiatry,

you're the most interesting
person I've ever met.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Oh, I-- I was
speaking clinically.

What do you find
so interesting about me?

Well, you don't fit
into any known category.

One minute you're calm,
the next, you're hysterical.

You can pass
the most difficult test

the Air Force has devised,

and yet, you hear voices.

You're a top scientist,
and you suffer from delusions.

You don't call
that interesting?

I can't wait
to put you in a book.

[CLANGS]

You need
this.

Oh. Well, thanks.

Well, I'm afraid I have
to be running along now.

But, captain...

Yes. Yes, sir?

I'll be seeing you.

Yes.

Well, here we go,
lover-boy.

Time to cut the cake.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Where is it?

Gentlemen, gather round.
Come on. Let's go.

[LAUGHS]

[ALL CHEERING]

[WOLF WHISTLES]

What are you
doing here?

Oh, I wanted to see
your bachelor party.

Get out of here
right away.

Oh.
Tony.

Sir.
General.

Oh, it is nice
to see you again.

We know each other?

Well, of course.

Oh, you do not
remember.

You admired my cake.

Yeah, her cake,
her ca--

Oh, her cake!

Oh, yes. Yes.
It's beautiful.

Tony, I'll see you
Saturday morning.

Saturday morning.
Saturday morning?

At your wedding.
Eh--
Oh, yes.

Yes, of course.

Good night.
Good night.

Good night.

He will make an excellent
father-in-law for someone.

Yeah.

Salt of the earth.

I hope I'm not
intruding.
Hello, Grover.

Jeannie, this is
Grover Caldwell.

It is a pleasure.

The pleasure's
mine.

Well, by this time Saturday,
you and Melissa

will be honeymooning
in Honolulu.

Jamaica.

Honolulu.
Oh, didn't Melissa tell you?

I'm sorry.
I'm sure she meant to.

Well, uh, no, no.
it probably slipped her mind.

You and Melissa
are, uh, old friends?

We grew up together.

Melissa and I were inseparable
in those days.

The horse show, water-skiing...

[LAUGHS]

Even went to
the same orthodontist.

By the time we were ready
to take the braces off,

I was on my way
to prep school,

Melissa went to West Point.

Just lost track of each other.
Until a few weeks ago.

Oh, Melissa's
very fond of you.

She spoke highly of you
at dinner last night.

Oh, I'm very fond of her too.

You know, it's funny
how things work out.

Melissa and I had such
great dreams together,

and now in two days you two will
be honeymooning in Honolulu.

Jamaica.
Oh, Honolulu.

Jamaica.
Honolulu.

Jamaica.
Don't count on it.
I know Melissa.

So do I.

So do I.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Ow!

Look, I don't know
what you're selling--

Good morning.
Morning, Tony.

Come on in.
Oh.

Sit down.

I'd rather stand,
thank you.

Well, what's
on your mind, Grover?

Tony, I think you're
making a terrible mistake.

Which one?

I mean,
how do you mean?

By not accepting
the position

as General Stone's
military attaché in Europe.

It's a unique
opportunity careerwise.

It can only offer enormous
opportunities later on.

Well, I-I'm very
thankful

for your concern
about my career,

but frankly, I don't think
it's any of your business.

Well, I feel that whatever
has to do with Melissa

is my business.
Huh?

Look, obviously you're not
thinking of her feelings.

And if you were,
you would see

the enormous opportunity.
Okay.

Okay. All right.

I can't handle this
without coffee.

Let me get dressed, and we'll
discuss this over breakfast.

Make yourself--
Make yourself at home.

Ow!

MELISSA'S VOICE:
You do love me.

You've loved me
for a long time.

Why have you kept it
such a secret?

Oh, and I love you too.

I know now
I've always loved you.

There is still time...

to make our dreams come true.

Oh, well,
now where were we?

She's too good
for you!

Melissa. Tony.

Grover?

Oh, it's
all right, sir.

I think we're
gonna be married.

What?

That's right.

I've known Grover
all my life,

and he waits until the day
before my wedding

to tell me
that he loves me.

But I thought
you loved Tony.

I did.

But he's just not the man
I became engaged to.

I'm-

Well, I'm very
disappointed in Tony.

He--

He lacks
ambition.

Well, we can't
all make general.

[LAUGHS]

Well, I know.

All I wanted to do
was to try to help him.

And-- And he seems to
resent it.

Well, on the day before
your wedding,

I'd say you have a problem.

Now, listen, Melissa,
there's a few things

I wanna get straightened out.

In the first place,
I don't want your ex-boyfriend

telling me where
I'm gonna honeymoon.

And I don't like my best man
being picked for me.

And I don't like having plans
made for my future,

when I don't think it--
I brought you a drink.

What? Oh.
Thanks, Jeannie.

You must be
a mind reader.

Oh, no. No.

I cannot read
minds, master.

Oh, but I have a friend,
Nostradamus,

who does a marvelous job.

I bet you do.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You know,
I'm gonna miss you.

You know,
you're, uh--

You're really
very nice.

I mean, take this,
for instance.

I didn't even have to
ask you for it.

And that dinner
you made.

That was fantastic.

Well, of course
it was fantastic.

But it was also delicious.

Well, I'm pleased that
you enjoyed it, master.

Yeah. You're always
thinking of what I like.

You'd never send Roger
to Australia, would you?

And you wouldn't make
plans for my honeymoon

without consulting me,
would you?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Are you expecting
Nostradamus or someone?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Here. You, uh--
You stay out of sight.

I'll get this.

[SIGHS]

Well, speak of
the devil.

I mean, we've just been
talking about you--

I mean, I've been thinking--
Come on in.

Tony.

I'm sorry.
What?

Uh, for disturbing you
so late.

But, uh, Grover and I
must talk to you.

Well, as a matter
of fact,

I've been wanting to
talk to you.

Uh, Tony. Tony, now,
the simple truth--

Yeah.
--is...

Grover...
Melissa wants to
marry me.

Huh?
That is,

[MOUTHS]
Melissa and I
want to be married.

I'm sorry, Tony.

It's just that...well, you're--

You're not the man
I became engaged to.

And I don't think
you realize

how much
you've changed.

Oh, I know
it hurts now.

But in time,
you'll realize

it's all
for the best.

Well, I hope you two
will be...

very happy together.

Thank you, Tony.

I hope you find the right girl.

I'm really not
looking for anyone.

I must say, you're
taking this very decently.

Well...we can't
win them all.

What?

Naturally,
it'll hurt at first.

I'll just have to learn
to live with it.

Goodbye, Tony.

Bye, Lis. Grover.

Boy, was that close.

Thou wilt never know
how close, master.

Well...things always
work out for the best.

You mean you are not unhappy

that your marriage
was called off?

Unhappy.
Unhappy?

Jeannie, this is
the first time in months

I've felt absolutely free.

Oh, boy.

Oh, master,
thou has a lot to learn.

[♪♪♪]